Why is it so hard to get real answers about your health.

If you've been told that everything looks fine, but you know that something is off, we're not imagining it.

That's why I created Vitality three sixty to help you better understand what's going on inside your body so that you can take the targeted action needed.

With a functional health approach plus testing, we go beyond the guesswork to uncover the root causes of your symptoms.

I've teamed up with Doctyesmina, an incredible integrative GP and together we will help you decode your body's signals and answer questions like why am I always exhausted?

What's really causing my stubborn weight?

Am I inflamed?

Insulin resistant?

Or maybe missing key nutrients?

Because when you understand your body better, you can transform your health.

Visit v three sixty dot health or check out the show notes for more.

This is healthy Heir with Amelia Phillips and Welcome to another mini motivation episode.

These are my shorter, bite sized.

Episodes when maybe you've got limited time but you still want to feel inspired.

So today we are exploring the art.

Of aging well.

We want to know how to stay energized, how to stay curious and engaged as the years tick over.

One thing I've really noticed in recent years is the number of women around me that are kind of stepping back.

We're disengaging in some way, shape or form.

Me kind of included if I have to be honest.

In some areas, it's just an energy management thing, isn't it.

You know, we're choosing the couch over the catch up, or we're preferring that isolation over connection.

So I wanted to hear.

From someone who has dedicated their life to peak performance and aging well.

So I asked the soon to be doctor Craig Harper for his perspective on aging well now.

Craig is a high performance executive coach, a motivational speaker, author, and exercise scientist.

And he's also the host of The U Project, which is a podcast that's had gosh over almost two thousand episodes now.

And Craig is also about to submit his PhD in europsychology all around self awareness.

So I thought he'd be really good to get his perspective on this topic.

So here's what he had to say about aging well.

So you host the You Project, which is a wonderful podcast all about aging well and living your best life.

And I believe that you are on track to your two thousandth episode coming up very soon, and you really are a shining, strapping example of a man in his early sixties.

So basically, Craig, what's your secret?

What's your strategy for aging?

Well?

How the hell do you do it?

Well?

The way I do it is I just try to build an operating system that is consistent with what I want, which is to be the best version of me physically.

And also mostly in psychologically and all that.

But you know, I think one thing that is important is to recognize, well, what's in my control and what's not And so what's not in my control as my chronological age, what's not in my control as my genetics, what's not in my control is what happened five, ten, fifteen, twenty years ago.

What's not in control is how many hours there are in a day, and all of those things.

So what I do is I go well with my body, with my resources, with my genetics, with my skill, with my knowledge.

What's the best thing for me to do?

So I think it's a real challenge to one we don't want to be obsessed with our body, of course, because that's unhealthy, but we want to be able to get the most out of our body.

So your listeners may or may not know about biological age, which is a little bit of bro science, but there's something in it.

There's a scientific basis to biological age.

Is really just from a functional point of view.

It's kind of like how old in inverted commas you're body is in terms of how it works.

So all of your listeners would have met someone who's let's say forty, who seems more like sixty, and vice versa.

Sometimes I can't tell the difference pretty much from forty to seventy.

There are people out there that you could be forty or you could be seventy, and I have no idea, Like it's such a gray zone, now, don't you think a hundo?

So I just think, look, I'm not trying to win any awards.

I'm not trying to run one hundred meters in ten seconds or bench press a house.

I just go, look, I'm going to be My next birthday is sixty two, so I want to be the best sixty two year old.

That I can be.

What does that look like?

What do I have to do.

What are the habits and behaviors that support that?

What are the ones that don't.

Are you like an intense exerciser, like for example, I mean, I'm assuming you're pulling all the levers that we know.

So you exercise, you eat well, you sleep well, you manage your stress.

I mean, what does a week of You don't need to go into great detail.

But are you like a three day a week guy?

You are seven days, two hours a day guy.

I'll give you a really quick snapshot.

I ate two meals a day.

I eat at about eight thirty am and about six pm, just because that's.

What works for me.

A little snack in the middle, No, if.

I'm real hungry, maybe a handful of nuts.

But I never eat lunch per se.

That's just me.

Funnily enough, I'm the same.

I drink, you know, two or three letters of water a day.

I don't drink booze at all, never have, don't smoke, don't do recreational drugs.

Never had a drug in my life.

Gosh, that's rare.

I sleep great.

I try to make my work my passion, which I've done really well.

I haven't had a job like a job as an employee since I was twenty five or six.

I lift weights every day.

I wouldn't recommend every day.

I just do that because it's kind of I love it, and I hang out with my mate.

We talk crap and lift stuff.

I walk a minimum of ten thousand, mostly fifteen thousand steps a day.

I run three days a week for just two ks.

So I walk out in the front of my house and run like a crazy person for two kilometers.

I do some you know, some interval stuff, bit of bike stuff.

You're stressed, Yeah, I don't really get very stressed.

You do like stress management things.

You meditate, you sauna, cold therapy, anything like that.

Well, last time you.

And I spoke, we spoke about gratitude, and I feel I don't know why, but I feel overwhelmingly grateful.

And that's not just me on a podcast saying that because it's cheesy.

It's like, I feel very grateful and that I don't know that kind of that gives me a sense of calm and internal kind of I don't know, peace, equanimity, you know, equanimity being the calm.

And it's actually a really interesting observation as gratitude as a stress management technique, which maybe some of my listeners are going, yeah, you idiot, of course it is, but I haven't, funnily enough, I don't usually managed the two together.

So that's a really interesting observation.

And that's actually a good segue into my next question because we've pretty much just then touched on predominantly physiological elements of living your best life, and you know, staying energized.

I can see why you would be such an energized, purposeful person.

But let's now touch on the psychology of staying energized, curious, and engaged.

You just said that you feel like maybe gratitude just feeling overwhelmingly like a grateful person helps that.

Before we move on to any other reasons from the psychological perspective, I want to ask you why do you think you have got such a high abundance of gratitude.

Is that a learned or trained behavior or do you feel like you were died young in a past life?

Where does that come from?

Look, here's the honest answer.

I'm not one hundred percent sure, but my best guess is I've spent a lot of time with people who are in really hard situations.

Like a lot did you as what.

I worked in a drug and our coll addiction treatment center for three years as a consultant, not as an addiction specialist, but as the guy there who was the excise scientist.

I did all the health, wellness, nutrition, fitness.

I had thousands of conversations with add X and alcoholics.

I've worked with people in prison.

I've worked with people who are dying.

I've sat with people as they died.

My training partner literally died six years ago on the gym floor in front of me and was dead for seventy eight minutes.

It ends well, oh thank god.

Yeah.

So I resussed him well, myself and the paramedics I did the first eleven.

Minutes, which are obviously the reason why he's here now.

Yeah.

So, I mean, I think because I've been around you know, death and dying and sickness and poverty and addiction, and I am so aware of how hard a lot of people have it and I don't.

So I always say to Melissa, who's my business partner, you know, if I complain, punch me in the face, because.

I'm the problem, right, you know.

It's like I'm the problem because I do not have anything me personally, And I think gratitude is a really hard thing to consistently cultivate.

Yeah, I agree.

Because you know, there's a really interesting I don't know if it's true, but there's this alleged research Amelia that says that if two people on the same day have an experience, one wins the lottery so millions of dollars, and one breaks their back and becomes a paraplegic, two years down the track, they'll both be about as happy as each other.

Sorry, their happiness will be back to the baseline of where it was.

Yeah, pree episode, because we have these stories that you know, when this happens, I'll be happy, and then we get the body, or we get the money, or we get the job, or we get the car, and we're like, nah, that's not it.

Do you think it's something we can learn for those of us that maybe haven't had that same experience or relationship with gratitude.

Is it something that if we put some effort into it, it's something we can improve within ourselves.

Definitely, But I think gratitude comes from having new experiences with people who are not as fortunate as you.

I don't know that you can sit on the couch and will yourself into gratitude.

Maybe you can, or.

Maybe you've got life experiences that you haven't fully reflected on or really sat with.

You know, life is so busy and we have these fleeting experiences that you know, maybe we need to draw on past experiences and really reflect on those two to help determine how grateful we are for the.

Position that we're in.

Why is it so hard to get real answers about your health?

If you've been told that everything looks fine, but you know that something is off, you're not imagining it.

That's why I created Vitality three point sixty to help you better understand what's going on inside your body so that you can take the targeted action needed.

With a functional health approach plus testing, we go beyond the guesswork to uncover the root causes of your symptoms.

I've teamed up with doctor Esmina, an incredibly integrative GP and together we will help you decode your body's signals and answer questions like why am I always exhausted?

What's really causing my stubborn weight?

Am I inflamed?

Insulin resistant?

Or maybe missing key nutrients?

Because when you understand your body better, you can transform your health.

Visit V three sixty dot health or check out the show notes for more.

I want to wrap up by asking you in particularly, my listeners are women in midlife, and I've really noticed in the last couple of years in my network of women in midlife this strong pull towards disengaging.

I've got some theories as to why.

For example, we're so exhausted so often we say no to the social events that when we're in our twenties and thirties.

I mean, hour was out six nights a week back then.

But we say no to these social events because we're just so tired.

We don't feel like pushing ourselves in the gym or anywhere.

Maybe because we're also tired, anxiety levels can rise.

It could be perimenopause.

It could be life experiences making us less risk takers or more risk averse, so.

We take less risks.

People tend to piss us off a bit, so maybe our circle of friends becomes a lot smaller.

But when I fast forward twenty thirty, forty fifty years, I look at centenarians, that the happy centenarians and happy fulfilled people in their golden years, the people I aspire to be like disengaging feels like the last thing we should be doing now.

So love your take on this and maybe what advice you have for us who are kind of caught in the middle where we're feeling and asking for myself here feeling like my world is getting smaller.

But I just feel like, also in my heart, that that's probably not what should be happening.

That's interesting, that is I've never ever been asked that question or a question like that, So definitely this is just me thinking out loud.

But yeah, of course you and.

I both know, and some of your listeners will know.

There's a proliferation of research around the correlation between the importance of healthy socialization and lifespan and health span.

Yeah, I see to my mom.

My mom has the most vibrant social life, and she's so full of pep.

Yes, Yes, I think what happens sometimes as we get a bit older, like maybe forty, fifty, sixty, whatever, we become more aware of the relationships that serve us and the ones that don't.

That doesn't mean every relationship's got to be strategic, But I have a litmus test for friends, right, I know a lot of people like I probably know I don't know how many people I know by first name.

I'd say well over a thousand.

Right.

I meet people all the time, But in terms of people that I go, Okay, come to my house.

Hang out with me, there's not many people.

Not because I'm special or amazing, but because I spend so much time around people.

That I really value.

And I'm a weirdo.

I'm single, I'm an only child.

I've never been married, so I'm a complete freak.

So pay no attention to me.

But you are single?

Yeah, yeah, never been married.

Ladies, I've got an eligible bachelor.

No.

Way too many issues, way too many issues.

Oh my god, Okay, we're doing another episode.

I love being a matchmaker, Craig.

You are such a good catch.

Oh my goodness.

Definitely not.

There's a lot we've got.

To get ladies, single lady, So the single ladies DM me.

I'm going to connect you.

Oh my god, I've just been put on the naughty I'm not getting invited for coffee.

I can tell you that exactly.

A girlfriends.

Yeah, well, I mean even back to that, all right, I'll talk about it for a minute.

There was no strategy in that.

It's not like I went I don't want to get married.

That's my I just didn't and it's so it wasn't strategic.

I just that's where I am, you know.

And and in answer to that, you must.

Have ladies throwing themselves at you.

I mean, the thing is, could I get a girlfriend or a wife?

Well, yes, I suppose, but like it's got to be it would have to be way more like.

My life is good.

I am happy.

I don't feel like there's a big hole in my life.

Which is not to say that my life couldn't be better or that there's not somebody out there that's amazing.

It's not to say that at all, but it's just to say, for me, it's not a goal, you know what I mean, It's not on a list anywhere, it's not on a to do list.

That's so interesting.

I'm finding this out about you at the very end of our podcast.

If I'd have known this about you at the start, I think I would have totally shaped the conversation differently.

You would have just gone in a different direction when you.

Ah, well, I would have wanted to unpick all of this because to me, you know, I think it's fascinating because you ask someone who has unlocked so much potential in yourself and you are someone who is clearly living their best life and excelling in their life.

It just goes to show that there's so many different shapes and ways that we can live a fulfilled life and it doesn't necessarily have to be that you know, picket fence approach that you know so many people think about, which is you know, having that life partner and so look, well, just to wrap up unless you had something else to add around that disengaging, do you agree that it's something that we probably should keep an eye on that we're not disengaging too much and we wake up one day and we kind of feel lonely or isolated.

Yeah, I think back to our earlier thing of self awareness as well, is to realize, let's start think about why you're disengaging.

Sometimes it's a good idea.

Sometimes you want to go into your cave for a little moment.

That's okay, But I think away from work and general socializing, but in your private world, like just that very close kind of to your heart world of people that you want to open the door to.

I think we've got to be choosy, you know.

Not in an arrogant way.

But it's like, I know lots of people, and I get asked to do lots of things.

Right, I'll get asked out a lot, but I'm not going to go out to dinner with twenty people that I don't really know to sit there nineteen people are drinking.

That's not good or bad.

They're going to sit there for four hours.

I want to punch myself in the face.

And it's not that it's bad, right, it's just that it's not for me.

So there's no judgment in that.

In fact, I look at them and I think, good on you, because you're all having fun, You're doing something you love.

But it's not me, you know, it's not a thing that I do.

Like, I'm not anti booze, I'm not anti socializing, I'm not anti marriage.

But I think, like, we have these ideas growing up, Oh, well, of course you get married maybe.

And also another belief is well married is better than not married.

I'm like, well, there's ferbitted data to.

Say that a lot of people would disagree with you on that one.

Yeah, I'm like, And also, I'm going to tell you something now that is an exclusive right.

I've never said this publicly.

Ever, Oh my goodness, and seeing as you've almost done two thousand podcasts, we are bracing ourselves.

TMZ is going to be onto this.

And nobody cares because I'm not anybody.

But so I did over fifty thousand sessions of personal training, and the vast majority of my clients were women.

We had men as well, of course, but probably eighty percent of my clients that I worked with were women.

I would say for every hundred conversations I had where a lady was talking to me about her husband or a marriage or a relationship, they were saying negative things, not positive.

Yeah.

But I'm going to challenge that and say that's because they're seeking counsel.

They're not going to talk about the things that are not worrying them.

It's not to say that there wasn't.

Don't let that put you off, my friend.

There are good sides to it too.

No, you missed my point.

They were saying negative things about their past.

Yeah, No, I get that.

I get that, But my point is that it will be because.

That's what was on them.

And I'm not going to come and, you know, say all the wonderful things because they're you know, just.

Why not Why would you not go, hey, my husband's Ah.

That's the gratitude side of you coming out.

That's the beautiful side of Ukraig saying observing the great things that have happened.

But yes, no, I don't disagree with you that these relationships are hard.

Having said that, I know lots of people who are happily married, beautifully married, and I know single people who are miserable.

So I don't think it's one or the other at all.

And I don't think, in fact, the way that I live I would not encourage most people to live, because I don't think it's for most people.

I think what's really stood out for me from this conversation and surprise me, minus the fact you're single, is your emphasis on gratitude.

And I think in the context of aging well and the psychology of staying energized andurious and engaged, it's surprised me how much gratitude has played into what you do in your life.

And I find that's going to be a real takeaway for me today from this conversation.

And maybe the other secret is staying single.

Maybe we've all got it wrong.

Yeah, I always say to people to regard me as being single.

The idea of me is better than the reality of me, so you know, don't get too excited.

Oh well, I reckon, there's hope for you yet I'm already thinking of some single ladies that I need to send you a way Haha.

That's hilarious.

Oh, Craig Harper, thank you so much.

I'll be standing by.

Thanks Milia, get your hair cut, wash your face, tim your nostril hairs.

They're coming at you, my friend.

Why is it so hard to get real answers about your health?

If you've been told that everything looks fine, but you know that something is off, we're not imagining it.

That's why I created Vitality three sixty to help you better understand what's going on inside your body so that you can take the targeted action needed.

With a functional health approach plus testing, we go beyond the guesswork to uncover the root causes of your symptoms.

I've teamed up with Doctasmina, an incredible integrative GP, and together we will help you decode your body's signals and answer questions like why am I always exhausted?

What's really causing my stubborn weight?

Am I inflamed?

Insulin resistant, or maybe missing key nutrients.

Because when you understand your body better, you can transform your health.

Visit V three sixty dot Health or check out the show notes for more