Focusing on your mindset.

Talking to yourself, not setting yourself up for barriers of, "This is too hard," "I can't do this," "It's not fair that I have to do this." Instead, to set yourself up with, "I can do hard things.

I am doing them and, look, when I do them, I see the results I'm looking for.

My body is changing.

My biomarkers are changing.

Give me more hard things.

I'll keep doing them." [music] Hi everyone, it's Terri.

As we head into December, things are especially busy behind the scenes here at The Fasting Method.

Our whole team is working hard, getting ready for some fresh ideas and exciting updates coming your way in 2026.

So, while we're in this season of planning and creating, I thought it would be the perfect time to bring back a few classic Bitesize episodes, ones that always land really well at this time of year.

December is full of social events, food traditions, and moments where mindset matters just as much as fasting strategy.

And these three Bitesize conversations speak directly to that.

We're revisiting episodes that explore how to navigate social situations, how to manage that fear of missing out when food is involved, and a reminder I think we all need right now that you *can* do hard things, even during the holidays.

I hope this little bundle gives you some support, perspective, and maybe a little bit of encouragement as you move through the season.

Let's dive in.

[music] I wanted to talk with you today about something that I hear a lot of people describing in the The Fasting Method Community and in the client work that I do, and that is something around FOMO (fear of missing out)- missing out on meals, missing out on certain foods, missing out on old behaviors that we used to use related to foods.

And I know this topic is a little less about fasting and a little more about food, but, because at least half of our journey is related to how we eat and how we make choices about food, I think that this is an appropriate topic for us to talk about.

So oftentimes, I hear people describe that they aren't sure how they're going to handle a situation because the meal itself (or the food, the beverages) are what they're using to connect with people.

So let's say, for example, their friend reaches out to them and asks them to go out on a Saturday for lunch, or brunch, or something like that, or Sunday, or someone suggests that they go out for coffee and orders food.

Oftentimes, what people share is that the concern is that if I don't engage with the food, if I don't eat the meal that this person is suggesting, or if I don't join in the eating of the appetizers, or treats, or desserts, or whatever, that I'm not going to have the full experience.

And I totally can relate to this, because I think most of us are pretty much socialized to focus-- a lot of our social connections are related to food, and we often [laughs], when we think about connecting with food, we often don't think about connecting with the healthiest of foods.

We think about things that, I don't know, they just have like a really high reward value for us.

So they're highly palatable, they're decadent, or they're yummy, they're crunchy, whatever it is.

And we fear then that if we're you're not using that food during this time, we're going to miss out on something.

What I really want to encourage everyone to think about is shifting how they think about this.

So everyone pretty much knows at this point that a lot of the work that I do is about mindset, and shifting how we are thinking about things to help us to change behaviors and change our reactions to things.

So if we think about dinner as a time that we have to spend with our family, with our kids, or our spouse, or our parents, our in-laws, or whomever, it is, if we focus on that meal as the reason we're connecting, oftentimes we get very connected to the thought of it being tied to the food.

But if instead we think about the idea that we want to connect with these important people, we want to spend time, we want to have quality time.

And how we learn to do that may have been around the food, but how could we do it differently now?

Instead of eating the meal with them, if it's a fasting day for us, could we arrange a walk afterward?

Could we decide to play a couple of rounds of backgammon with them after they finish eating?

Therefore, we're still having that connecting time, we're just not doing it with food involved.

They have their meal, so their needs are met, we have our fasting, so our needs are met, but together we can still do that connecting, bonding time, just in a different way than using food in order to connect.

In thinking of it this way, I think an important shift for most of us is to really think about what is our goal.

What is it that we're seeking?

And in these environments where it's social and there's someone else involved, generally, in these times then, what we're really focusing on is getting that connection time, getting to have a fun conversation, or getting the support that we're looking for, or being able to offer the support that they need during that time.

But it's really not about the food, and it's especially not about problematic food, even though that's the way many of us have learned to think about it.

So it does require shifting this and thinking about other things.

I remember, in another episode, Megan Ramos talked about how she shifted from inviting people to come to meals or to join them at a restaurant, to instead invite people to join them for a walk around the lake or the park or somewhere else, or to go to an actual event, or go to see something, walk through a museum together, or do something else.

So it's really about shifting that, "I still get to have this great connection with people and do something that feels rewarding to me," without it being focused on food.

So I really encourage you, if you're struggling with that-- I know some of us are currently in a stage of being kind of in between some holidays and things, a lot of social things going on.

And so this FOMO, this fear of missing out if I don't eat these meals, how will I do this?

And to really recognize, there's so much more about this holiday season (or any time that you're getting together with people), that it's really not about the particular foods.

Another way I hear people talking about this is that they feel like, if they change their food choices or change the frequency of eating, they are going to no longer be seen as the fun person.

So some people come and they identify themselves as foodies and they say, "You know, everyone knows me as a foodie.

If anyone's looking for something about a recommendation for a restaurant or a recipe, they come to me," or they might say, "You know, in my family, I'm known as the person who always makes this." And now that they're changing their approach or their relationship with food, those aren't the things they're connecting with, and they're afraid that they're going to lose that identity or that reputation.

And I encourage you to really think about, if this is affecting you, to think about how else would I like people to know me.

Rather than being known as the dessert queen, how else might people think about one of my strengths, or one of the positive things I bring to the table, even though it's no longer that one?

I can guarantee you that the client I talked to, who said that she was the aunt in her family that was well known for making a particular type of food and that's why everyone came around, when she stopped making that food, people did not stop coming around.

She switched to something else that was healthier for her and then ultimately healthier for them.

And the reality is, they all came because they wanted connection with family and with her, and they were appreciative.

It didn't ruin that connection.

So if you are kind of identifying as someone who food plays a huge role in how you connect with other people or what you have to offer other people, I really encourage you to start working on recognizing that you offer so much more than that recipe, or that certain type of food that you often bring to the family get-together, and start focusing on that.

Start focusing on the connections that you have and the fun that you have, the support that you have with other people, rather than can you ooh and ah them with that food.

[music] I wanted to talk today about something that we've been talking about as a coaching team, and something that I think is relevant to every listener and anyone who's in the Community or one of our clients.

It's something that many of you are probably already working on, maybe have come to some solutions for, and some of you are just getting started with this.

So I wanted to talk about the idea of how you navigate social events based on how you eat.

Hopefully, you all know, from the Community or from the podcast, that we don't prescribe a specific style of eating that everyone has to do.

We certainly have some recommendations about foods that are going to activate less insulin, are going to be less inflammatory, and generally just work better for people.

But, to be really clear, we don't tell you you have to eat a certain way.

But many people, when they work with us, or come to the Community, or listen to the podcast, they're making some adjustments.

Part of that, obviously, is fasting, and, for many people, part of that is changing how they eat.

Maybe certain foods that they eat less of, certain foods that they avoid altogether that are problematic for them, and things like that.

So we get so many questions and topics that come up around how to handle this in social situations.

For example, a family gathering, a friend gathering, a work luncheon, or a happy hour, or something like that.

One of the things that I want to encourage everyone listening to think about, whether it's a fasting day and so you're not going to eat at this event, or if it's a day that you are going to eat, but, let's say, for example, you're eating fat-fasting foods, or maybe you're someone who eats very low carb and that's different than other people.

Whatever the difference is that makes you aware, one of the things I want to encourage you to consider is that there are probably areas in your life that you have a belief about, you have a chosen way to handle it, and other people in your life might prefer that you would handle it in a different way.

So, for example, any of you who have had a baby, raised a child, you probably had so many pieces of advice given to you about what you should do, how to raise kids, how to get your four-month-old to sleep through the night, how to get your toddler potty trained, all of these things.

They're all opinions and my guess is most of you have had to say to people, "Oh, thanks for that suggestion, we're happy doing it this way," or you smile and nod and act like you're enjoying the feedback, and you go ahead and do it your own way.

Similarly, many of you might have had this experience around some other lifestyle issues.

So, for example, your spiritual life, if you practice or religion or have some spiritual beliefs that lead to certain practices.

My guess is you've had some other people who have strong recommendations, things that they think you should do, churches they think you should attend.

And my guess is, depending on who this person is to you, you might thank them for that suggestion, you might smile and let them know that you're going to keep doing what you do.

Another example might be how you spend your money, whether you put it in investment accounts or whether you tuck that cash under your mattress.

You probably have your preferred way to approach your finances.

And other people, if given the opportunity, might be happy to tell you how they think you should handle your money.

The reason I chose these is because I think these are pretty common things that people have opinions about and want to tell you their opinion, but, oftentimes, we have learned how to get by without taking those suggestions to heart, and we still do what we believe, and we do the thing that is right for us in our life.

So I want to encourage you to think about that when it comes to how you eat and how frequently you eat.

Those are personal decisions, and they're really not anyone else's business.

Now I get it, some of these people are very close to you (they're spouses, partners, siblings, you know, loved ones) and they might have questions.

Some of them might even be concerned if they don't really understand what you're doing.

But to give them a say in what you eat, and when you eat, and how often you eat really isn't necessary.

And so I want to encourage you to think about having those boundaries for yourself and, you know, depending on the person, some people you may be able to very graciously say, "Thank you.

I appreciate that you have concerns and that you have ideas to share." In other people, you may say, "I just want to be really clear.

I'm not open to discussing this as something that I'm going to let anyone else weigh in on." And some people, you may even have to be more firm.

As we leave here today, I'm going to share one of my strategies for these social environments.

If you run into someone who is kind of relentless, and I would say a food-pusher, maybe they say, "Oh, I made this wonderful dessert and I really want you to have it." And you might say, "Oh, you know, I'm not going to have any dessert tonight, but, thank you, it looks so good." And they don't take no for an answer.

And so they push again and they say, "Oh, but I made it.

I was really hoping that you would enjoy it.

It's really healthy.

I think you'll really like it." And once again, you say, "Oh, actually, you know, I've been really watching how much sugar I eat, and I don't really want to eat any now." And they push again.

My suggestion on things like this, if you feel okay to do this (and I understand if you don't, I am smiling as I say this), when someone pushes something like that on me, I might say something that just stops the conversation, like, "Oh, thank you so much.

That dessert looks delicious and I wish I could enjoy it with you.

However, what I've been finding lately is that, when I eat something like this, I get kind of explosive diarrhea and it's just really not worth it to me." Guaranteed, that'll shut the conversation down!

Now, I hope that this is taken in the intent that I have in sharing it.

I'm not actually encouraging any of you to be rude, or combative, or anything, but, I get it, sometimes we just need to think we have a way that we can really stop this food-pushing.

But also remember that many people don't understand the fasting and they're concerned if you're not eating - they think you're not having fun, they think you're miserable.

And so you get to set that tone.

If you seem like you're having a good time, if you are drinking a sparkling water instead of having snacks and beverages, they're not going to mind because you're happy, you're cooperative, everything's going well.

But if you're pouting or if you're, you know, talking about, "Woe is me, I can't eat today," sure, they're going to probably become food-pushers in those examples.

So I think today I just kind of highlighted a couple of different approaches.

One, a little bit of a shocker, which many of us probably wouldn't use but some of you may.

The other, just being setting a firm boundary, letting them know that how you eat, how often you eat, is not something you're really going to open up for discussion or debate.

And then, as I said, you set the tone.

If you seem pleased with how you're handling it, if you seem happy, if you seem like it's not a painful thing for you to be skipping a certain food or to be skipping eating altogether, I think that really goes a long way with how other people handle your new approach to eating and fasting.

[music] Many of you may be familiar with a phrase that I often use.

I often hear it quoted in our community.

People have picked up on it and have used it to kind of reframe or normalize something for themselves.

The phrase is, You can do hard things." I've talked about this so many times in our community, in the podcast, but I thought, you know, maybe a little extra inoculation right now during this time of year would be helpful for people.

So I wanted to talk about this concept of being able to do hard things.

And I know that a part of our brain, our lower part of our brain, does not want to do hard things.

It's looking for avoidance of difficult things, avoidance of discomfort, and seeking of ease and comfort.

That is an instinctive part of us that's really focused on survival.

But, in our modern day, there aren't a lot of things that are harmful to us, as far as getting an email that is maybe a little too harsh, or having a boss expect something of us that's more than what we can get done today.

But that part of our brain reacts to that as, you know, a catastrophe and must be mitigated right away by eating some really problematic food or gorging on something.

So I really want us to kind of think about not only can we handle difficult things in our life (we all face times of great stress, times of tragedy, painful losses) and I know how hard these things are, but I also know we can get through them.

And we do.

We all do.

Even though they're really hard and in the moment it feels like we can't get through it, we always do.

So then it comes to something like fasting or skipping out on a favorite pastime of ours that involved a certain food or something.

And people start to talk about it as if that's too complicated, that's too difficult.

I remember when I first changed how I was eating.

I was doing the Whole30, and many people that I came in contact during this time were really surprised.

They said, you know, "What are you doing?

Your face is just glowing and you just look so energized and everything.

What are you doing?" And I said that I was, you know, doing this particular elimination diet.

And they said, "Oh, great.

Tell me about it.

What is it?" And as soon as I started listing, "Well, you know, I don't eat grains, I don't eat dairy, I don't eat sugar, I don't have alcohol," they're like, "Never mind, never mind.

That's enough.

I'm not doing that.

That's too hard." And it always surprised me when I heard this reaction, because, of course, I thought that too.

I thought this was too hard.

I definitely thought this was something I would not be able to do, because I had never been able to, in any kind of a prolonged way, stick with a healthy eating plan.

So I heard them say that this was too difficult, but just a moment before they seemed so interested and so wanting of those benefits.

But as soon as I told them some of the steps that they would have to take, it was right off the list.

No way were they going to do that.

So we've talked often in this podcast and in the Community about finding your WHY, what motivates you, why are you willing to do these things that might be complicated, and recognizing that, in order to do them, you have to be willing to do things that are not your first nature, that are a little bit of a stretch for you, that might even be challenging or difficult for you to do.

But this is where we thrive as people.

We have this ability to do difficult things.

And I really encourage you to start talking about these food choices and this fasting as a difficult thing that you can do.

And I think what many of you find is that, as you start doing it, it becomes less difficult.

I've been doing fasting long enough now-- and I go through months of time where I don't do much fasting.

I focus more on time-restricted eating (or TRE) and then segments of time where I do some fasting.

And I'm currently in one of those periods of time where I'm doing more fasting.

And I'm surprised.

The first two weeks it was a little bit challenging.

It was hard to get back into that momentum and that rhythm.

And I had to challenge my mindset.

I had to challenge my behaviors and really work on remembering, you know, how this is possible for me.

But what I found (I'm now just finished up week four) is it got a lot easier.

So my willingness to do hard things for a couple of weeks helped me move to the stage where it's not as difficult anymore.

Fasting becomes easier over time, as long as you're not facing-- maybe, you know, you're fighting off getting sick, or you're not sleeping at all, or you're having a really high-stress time.

Those things definitely complicate fasting, but, in general, fasting becomes easier.

It's a little bit like working out at the gym.

Lifting that 55-pound dumbbell gets easier over time.

It doesn't get harder and it doesn't stay the same.

Your muscles get used to it, your confidence increases, and it becomes easier.

So does fasting.

The other angle of this that I want to focus on is that I'm certainly not encouraging you to be miserable.

I'm not encouraging you to do things that are so difficult that you just feel incapacitated throughout the day, but a little bit of discomfort, a little bit of hunger or appetite is not going to harm us.

But it is challenging.

And so, again, talking with yourself, changing that mindset.

"I can do hard things.

This isn't easy for me right now and I can still do it." Giving yourself credit afterward, "I did that thing that wasn't easy for me." That helps remind your brain, next time when you're going to do something that's challenging, that it is totally possible.

So we want to be talking to ourselves about our ability to do hard things, not just focus on how hard this is to do.

Our brain listens to that.

And if all I'm focusing on is, "Oh, this fast is so hard, why do I have to do this?

Oh my gosh, why do I have to do three of these this week?", my brain is listening to that whole conversation and it will stop putting in the effort.

It will sabotage me.

It will, you know, not engage in the way that I want it to.

But if, instead, I remind myself, "There are things about this that are challenging and I can handle that.

I can do this difficult thing," and then, again, celebrate on the other side, "I did this hard thing and look what's happening, my blood sugar numbers are increasing, my skin is clearing up, my ring is starting to fit better, my pants are starting to fit better, the scale is moving again." These are the things that we want to be focusing on, that doing this hard thing is bringing me the benefits that I'm seeking.

I get it.

We would all love to just get all the benefits without the hard work, but most of us have figured out, at this stage in life, that very few things that are really meaningful to us come easy the whole time.

I'm not a parent, but many of you listeners are parents and you've raised kids, or are raising kids, you might even be raising grandkids.

You know that, despite the fact that this is a really rewarding experience, it is challenging.

It is hard.

There might be some days where it is the hardest thing you can imagine doing, and you don't know how you're going to get through the rest of this week.

But you do.

You figure things out.

And it helps that you look back and think of all of the rewarding times you have with those kids.

It makes it much more doable when the going gets tough.

So this lesson, again, is really about focusing on your mindset, talking to yourself, not setting yourself up for barriers of, "This is too hard," "I can't do this," "It's not fair that I have to do this." Instead, to set yourself up with, "I can do hard things.

I am doing them and, look, when I do them, I see the results I'm looking for.

My body is changing.

My biomarkers are changing.

Give me more hard things.

I'll keep doing them.".

So that's the end of my message for today.

Just a reminder, you can do hard things.

[music] I hope these classic Bitesize episodes gave you a little clarity and encouragement today.

This time of year can be busy and emotional, but, remember, you have tools, you have options, and you're never alone in this journey.

If today's bundle was helpful, I'd love it if you shared this episode with a friend or someone who might need a little support too.

And, as always, make sure you're connecedt with us inside The Fasting Method Community for ongoing guidance, encouragement, and real-time support.

Take good care of yourself, and I'll be back with you soon.