To me, Ikigai can be almost anything like little or big, Something that gives value to our living, that fuels us to keep going with kokorozasi, with the heart of warrior, especially when life isn't easy.

My guest today on the Ikigai podcast is Andriana Ubuduki-Kalfa, an Ikigai coach specializing in performance, executive and personal excellence coaching.

As a Japanese-Greek performance coach with over 30 years of experience bridging cultural differences between Greece and Japan in business environments, andriana has developed an approach that blends traditional Japanese wisdom with modern coaching methodologies to minimize stress, enhance performance and support personal development.

She has helped Olympic athletes achieve goals and works with heart to support people live a happy, balanced and meaningful life.

It's wonderful to see you today.

Thank you for joining me.

Thank you so much.

Thank you so much, nicholas.

It's lovely to be here with you.

I feel truly honored for having this opportunity to discuss with you over topics that are so close to both of our hearts.

And can I be bold enough to start with a little correction, of course?

Well, it's not to you.

It's not to you, it's to myself.

You introduced me as an Ikigai coach and thank you very much for that.

It's a title I gave myself many years ago, because living with my little Ikigai felt so meaningful and I wanted to share that with my people.

But now that I have encountered you, nicolas, and your beautiful Ikigai coaching program, I decided to set my self-appointed title aside in order to properly claim it after completing your course.

No, I saw you, you're laughing.

But you've brought together all these authors, all these researchers Okay, some of them I had been reading as well and you have created such coach-friendly tools.

I feel like I finally have an ally in this space.

You know and I felt that even before knowing you personally, and I'm ready to jump in.

Thank you.

Now we've had a few calls together and you were also on one of my webinars.

As I said or wrote to you, I think you have this beautiful wisdom and knowledge in you.

You love both of your cultures.

So certainly by experience life experience I think you're an Ikigai coach.

I think you give Ikigai a lot of depth, wisdom, beauty, all these things.

So you don't need any certification or any qualification at all, especially from me.

We're allies, I agree, so frame it like that.

So let's move on.

Would you like to talk about your japanese and greek heritage?

yes, of course I'd love to and you.

You use this in your coaching, so let's start there, okay well, thanks to my greek heritage, I bring the love of dialogue.

You know it's a Greek word, dialogos dialogue and I'm excited by the fact that coaching essentially has deep roots in the ancient Greek Meptic method of Socrates, also known as the Socratic method or Socratic method of meftics comes from the Greek word meftikos, which means midwifery.

Socrates likened his method of asking questions to the word of a midwife not giving birth himself, of course, but helping others to give birth to their own insights, to their own ideas, to their own wisdom.

And that's what coaching is all about, isn't it, Nick?

We are trained to mainly ask the right questions in order for our people to really discover themselves, their true selves, their values, their way to growth.

It's one of them, in their own unique way.

It's kind of perfect, isn't it, to have this Greek heritage.

And, as you mentioned, coaching is almost easy.

You just have to ask questions and create space.

It's a privilege.

So let's move on to your Japanese heritage and how that helps you with coaching.

On my Japanese side, I've always been drawn to methodologies influenced by the Japanese culture, such as practicing like yourself, such as practicing mindfulness, flow, kaizen and, of course, the authentic principles of Ikigai, and these values shape how I design my coaching services and how I help people find clarity in their either personal or professional lives.

Nice, and I know you've studied in Japan, so you studied at Sophia University in Japan.

Yes, I had the privilege of studying there as a European Union Scholar in Japan for executives back in the 2000s.

During that period of time I was already working for a special program of the Greek Ministry of National Economy to promote Hellenic-Japanese business collaboration.

All right, and what did you study at Sofia University?

During those studies in Tokyo, we were 37 professionals from all over Europe studying the differences between European and Japanese business culture, a program created by Sofia University for the European Union.

And how was that for you to go and study in Japan?

It must have been wonderful.

It was wonderful because it was a combination of 37 people from all over Europe studying the same subject and the differences, and also I had the chance to study about the Greek business culture when I was in Japan, so that was interesting as well.

And so that is Hellenic, is that right?

Hellenic, it means Greek.

Yes, it's another word.

It's more official, the Hellenic.

Is that right?

Hellenic, it means Greek.

Yes, it's another word.

It's more official, the Hellenic yes.

Okay, exciting, and so I'll ask you a question, only because I think you know why.

But did you ever take classes or meet Professor Haruhiko Tanaka?

He was a guest on my podcast, episode 62.

Oh well, I don't believe I had the pleasure and forgive me if I'm wrong, professor, but I'm aware of his research on Ibasho, a term I use in my daily Japanese, and I'm looking forward to studying more about it.

And you know, I will take this opportunity, nicole, and say that I'm always at my e-bashow when I'm communicating with you.

Well, thank you.

Yeah, you sent that in an email and you've said that now and I feel the same, so it's a real joy.

I feel safe, comfortable, the communication is easy and I always look forward to talking to you, so it gives me something to look forward to.

Yes, and you understand my Greek-Japanese pronunciation.

It's amazing, that's lovely.

Your pronunciation is lovely.

You've got this heritage.

You're leveraging both your greek heritage and your japanese heritage, both, I think, in the way you live your life, but also in coaching.

So in business, I think it's opened up a lot of opportunity for you.

So today you also offer consulting to individuals and businesses involved in tourism, exports, trade and investment related to Japan.

So what kind of advice do you provide?

Well, this is something I've been practicing since the early 90s Now you know my age through various roles.

Back then I worked on a special program initiated by the Greek Ministry of National Economy to promote the collaboration across sectors, from economic development to cultural exchange, across sectors, from economic development to cultural exchange, and since then I've contributed to several organizations in fields such as tourism, media, exports.

For example, I worked as a researcher for Yomiuri Shimbun I think you know the Japanese newspaper that the paper sold over 10 million copies per day at that time and I was working for them during the Olympic Games in Athens, before and after, and I had the role of their researcher here in Athens for more than two years.

But these days I still offer my counseling services, but primarily on an educational level.

So I'm supporting executives, I'm supporting organisations, companies, in understanding the cultural differences between Greece and Japan before travelling to Japan or collaborating with our Japanese counterparts.

All right, so you've had a history of consulting.

How long have you been coaching?

Since 2017.

Okay, nice, and you sound like you've been getting really good results, so we'll talk about that a little bit later.

But you are here on this podcast for a number of reasons, but one is obviously related to Ikigai.

So would you mind sharing the touching story of what a friend of your mother's told you at your mother's funeral?

Okay, yes, nicholas, of course, if it's not too heavy for the podcast, it'll be fine.

Okay, it's also a story of course, if it's not too heavy for the podcast, it'll be fine.

Okay, it's also a story of meaning, and it's the answer to why I reached for you, isn't it?

Yeah.

Five years ago, we lost our mother to a sudden stroke At 74, she was so healthy that when she was declared brain dead, like within hours, they asked if she could be an organ donor.

And that was not a difficult decision for the family to make, as her ikigais were always related to serving people, providing connecting Greece with Japan.

One example is that she loved teaching Greeks the Japanese language and especially the Japanese culture, like the tea ceremony.

She was a master of tea ceremony and it was through her Ikigai that we knew her values and she saved more than 10 people with this donation.

Wow, 10 people.

Yes, and please note that this is the first time ever that I'm talking about this publicly.

All right, well, thank you for sharing that on my podcast.

I really appreciate it.

Thank you.

Thank you for making room.

Her funeral took place on a warm December day in Athens.

We were surrounded by friends.

We were surrounded by her students, family, and a Japanese friend of hers approached me and said Hi son, can I meet your daughter?

Actually, in Japanese, she mentioned her name and she went like so I looked around to find my daughter and she added suddenly, I want to meet here because she was your mother's ikigai, nick.

That sentence changed something in me Because up to that moment, I had not accepted but I was okay with the Western interpretation of Ikigai, you know the one frame with the context of work, productivity and the four colorful, beautiful circles.

But this was different.

It has changed something.

And my daughter wasn't something that the world needed, she was not something that my mother could be paid for, and yet a woman was there describing my daughter as someone's ikigai.

It was then that I decided to research the term more, describing my daughter as someone's ikigai.

It was then that I decided to research the term more and that research became my personal ikigai.

And at the same time, this new ikigai of mine served me in healing from my loss I'm sorry if I'm getting a little bit emotional, you understand.

And during that journey, among the works of Professors Camilla, professor Mogi, professor Hasegawa, I discovered you, nicholas.

I'm very happy you did and I'm about to tear up I'm so lucky to have you here and have this conversation.

So, thank you, Please thank your mother's friend for asking you that question.

I will.

It brought us together, yeah, so it is an amazing word and it has this special meaning and it can be quite emotional.

Thank you, Wiping away tears here meaning, and it can be quite anything like little or big, something that gives value to our living, that fuels us to keep going with kokorozasi, with the heart of warrior, especially when life isn't easy.

And even this podcast became a little eggy cry for me when you initially proposed it, nicholas, as something meaningful in the future I looked forward to.

It gave me energy through a very demanding period without burnout, and it became a resting port in my mind.

And thank you for waiting for me.

Thank you so much.

Not at all.

I mean, I was looking forward to it too, and I knew you'd been going through a few things.

And yeah, you mentioned the word kokorozashi, so that's right here.

So that's one of my favorite words too.

So we seem to love the same words.

Yeah, the same Japanese words.

It's amazing, amazing.

We have some connection, maybe from the past or something In the same way.

So how does Ikigai help you in your daily life?

When you're busy, you have all these challenges.

You're quite ambitious and you know you have a family, all these things.

So how does it help you in your daily life?

okay, is it okay to explain with another example?

absolutely so the last months, as you know, we're very full thank Lots of coaching, lots of traveling, traveling with my daughter as well, for karate competitions for her.

And in the middle of it, I received your Ikigai course, and you might have wondered why I didn't dive in immediately.

Because I was so eager.

Because I was so eager, but from the moment I received it, the course itself became my precious ikigai and I decided to give it space.

You know, I didn't want to rush through it.

I wanted to enter what I call my serious study mode, with intention, calm, respect, and you you Nicholas understood exactly what I meant when I explained this and that made me feel so safe and so seen and that future me picture studying, being calm, relaxed and enjoying your program has become one of my ikigais at this moment.

Well, thank you, and it was a gift I wanted you to have and, of course, you can use it whenever you want and I appreciate that you didn't want to rush through it or just do it because I'm worried about what Nick might think that yeah you, obviously you care about learning and creating space and time.

So that actually reminds me of this idea of utori having space and room.

Yes.

Even when we want to do something, sometimes we need to stop and just do nothing because we have so much going on, so much stimuli, so much pressure, so many connections now.

So, yeah, to have something to look forward to can be very helpful.

So that's definitely one way to think about it.

What's something you're looking forward to doing?

So I appreciate that that's very, very special.

Something I'm looking forward to is one day getting to Greece or maybe to Japan and meeting you.

I think that might be happening soon.

I hope so.

Yeah, all right, let's talk about your work, and on your website you have a number of ways to describe Ikigai, so let's touch on them, because I think it would be very helpful for our listeners to see all these different perspectives.

Okay, yes, ikigai can be a lot of things, of course.

You know that.

It can be something that gives meaning to our mornings, a simple thing as a Freddo cappuccino.

I'm Greek, you know Mediterranean, we have Fredo cappuccino.

I'm Greek, you know Mediterranean, we have Fredo cappuccinos.

And one day we will enjoy one together here in Greece.

Looking forward to it.

Ikigai can be our family members, a person as we described before, like my daughter, my son, my mother, my cousin.

It can be a loved one, my spouse, my lover.

It can be something that simply brings a smile to our face, like someone told me my dog's greeting when I come home.

A personal passion we'd pursue, even if no one asked us to Piano, swimming, writing, dancing, you know, as a path to flow.

It can be a source of purpose, a role we have in a community volunteering at the local animal shelter, offering mentoring to young people, something that contributes to our sense of fulfillment.

Training for a race, not to win, necessarily, but to challenge myself and see what I'm capable of, seeing the impact of my work and knowing it helps someone, even in a small way.

By the way, nicholas, I'm waiting.

I have ordered your book and small way.

By the way, nicholas, I'm waiting.

I have ordered your book and it's on the way.

Thank you and uh.

For me personally, ikigai's harbor is a place of emotional rest and renewal, and can I explain this by sharing another, initially sad story with a smile.

Of course, please, please share.

Okay.

So after losing my mother, I was diagnosed with microadenoma in the head.

So before surgery, I took my daughter on a trip with family and friends and I wanted to create memories for her, like little icky guys that she could carry in her heart forever.

And we were returning by ferry from a beautiful, beautiful Greek island yes, one of those with a blue Aegean Sea, with the white houses, if you have a picture in your mind and it was a very hot summer night and the boat could stop at all small islands throughout the journey to our house.

And I was asleep and one of my precious friends woke me up and said come and see the view on the deck.

To be honest, I didn't want to move, I was so tired, but he insisted and I'm so grateful that he did.

I stepped onto the deck and there it was, a little harbor, glowing in the golden hour lights, you know, and the sun was setting from the one side and the full moon was rising from the other, and the water was so cold, so cold, it mirrored everything like glass.

And there, nicholas, I saw myself and for the first time I could see a future.

And I sat there, took my moment and I promised to this port.

I'm coming back, and that future image of me returning to that little port in the Aegean Sea became my ikigai for the next months, a picture that carried me through procedures, through surgery and then through recovery, and it was my mentally resting and motivating port.

At the same time, it gave meaning to my mornings, so it brought calm and chaos and it helped me smile throughout the procedure.

And, yes, so ikigai is indeed a feeling, as you described so beautifully, nicholas.

And, of course, when I'm invited to talk about ikigai, I don't only speak about my personal understanding or feeling of Ikigai.

I don't only speak about my personal understanding or feeling of Ikigai.

I also speak about what Ikigai means to the Japanese people, as described in your work and in the writings of Professors Mogi, professor Hasegawa, Kamiya, and I'm eager to learn more.

Wow, what a beautiful image, what a beautiful story, and it shows you how these simple things we see can give us this deep emotion, this feeling of connection and, I guess, hope and something to live for for the future.

So thank you for sharing that beautiful story.

Thank you.

You're sharing a lot of yourself on this podcast, so I really appreciate that.

You're the reason why.

Well, I'm glad we're friends and that we can share with each other.

So you're this amazing friend now to me.

But I think you're also an amazing coach and you have helped, I'm sure, many people in your life and interestingly I guess sort of amazingly you have helped Olympic athletes who are struggling and I know you've helped I, I think one athlete in particular achieve gold, which is fascinating, and you were sort of telling me on the email you know I don't really want to talk about it too much like what are you talking about?

This is like an amazing story.

Would you like to share how your coaching helped this athlete and other athletes with their success?

okay, it was an athlete that.

Okay, more athletes and coaches and the diamond league move to a1 league or make it to the playoffs or finals at the olympic games.

Yes, uh, many of the athletes I coach, even at Olympic level, they struggle with stress and they basically come for stress management and they stay for performance elevation.

But basically they come for stress management and I work with them one-on-one or in groups.

I coach teams, I coach coaches.

I've mentally coached sports coaches as well.

They feel stress as well and I've been utilizing tools rooted in Japanese traditions, such as mindfulness, kaizen, creating more mass space, explaining muda management and explaining ikigai, Nice, and we work a lot with finding their personal optimal way of entering flow status and we work with visualization as well.

Well, executives face similar challenges and my seminars and workshops are designed with Japanese concepts to unlock focus, clarity and always within a coaching framework, meaning I do not give solutions, I ask questions coaching framework, meaning I do not give solutions, I ask questions.

It's fascinating how much Japanese culture offers with concepts obviously mindfulness and kaizen, which are quite common.

But then there is this idea of ma, which maybe our audience might not know about.

But this idea of space or gap or room, and I know in Japanese culture it's kind of in everything.

It's in architecture, it's in the way a tea room is designed at Chashitsu or it's in North Theatre, and Japanese are very comfortable with silence, so that's very powerful to use in coaching.

But I've never heard of muda management, so would you like to touch on muda management?

Yes, of course, Muda management is about controlling the muda.

Muda is in Japanese.

It means whatever is not needed, not necessary, so it has to do with basically putting aside everything that is not required towards our goal.

If that makes sense, it does make sense.

Yeah, sometimes it's more about leaving things behind than getting things.

Yeah, yeah, it seems maybe related to you like having enough and not needing more, and often, I guess, getting clarity is about what can I remove, what don't I need.

We do live in a capitalistic society.

We're materialistic, we always think more means more, but it often is the opposite Having less, I guess, gives you quality of focus time and less stress.

So let's move on to another word we both love and we mentioned before, that you use as a guiding principle in your coaching kokorozashi.

I love the sound of this word.

How do you define kokorozashi?

Kokorozashi, the letter behind you is translated as the fighting spirit of the warrior, isn't it?

There is a spirit also there, when not at war, not fighting, A spirit that serves one's values, a spirit that brings clarity to the heart, to the mind, a spirit that reflects will, ambition and mission, and a spirit that aligns the intention with the direction.

It actually sounds perfect for athletes.

It involves your mind, your heart, your spirit, where you're headed, your mission, your ambition, direction, perfect word.

Yes, absolutely, direction, perfect word.

yes, absolutely how do your clients respond to some of these words?

So you're introducing maybe this idea of ma or muda, management or kokorozashi or maybe ikigai.

How do they respond to these words and these concepts?

Nick, they love it, they love it, and it's so a way different from the Greek mentality and I think that makes it even more attractive.

Yeah, we're quite the opposite.

You know Greeks and Japanese.

Actually I do have some Greek friends in Melbourne.

Oh yes, and we go out.

You know we'll go out, for we eat a lot of pizza actually together.

One of my Australian friends, he organizes these boys' nights out and there's about three or four Greek guys and they're always sort of talking over each other and joking and sort of almost trying to outdo each other.

And I remember one night sort of sitting and watching all this sort of it almost looked like conflict and I think, oh, I need some ma.

Dialogue.

That's the essence of dialogue, nick.

That's the essence of democracy.

Well, both cultures, yes, both cultures.

They communicate with heart, but the expression is different.

So you bring them together and bring balance.

I hope so.

As you know, there are a lot of Greeks in Australia, so I grew up with Greeks.

I had some really good friends who are Greek.

In primary school it was really strange, like in primary school it didn't matter who you were or where you were from, you could be friends with anyone.

And then once we got into high school it sort of became tribal and you had the Greeks, you had the Aussies, you had the Asians and we were all kind of separated, which is really sad.

But now I have Australia as a multicultural, so I have a lot of friends from different cultures and that's the beauty we get to learn, try different foods, understand different cultures, maybe go to different countries absolutely yeah and my son's obviously half Japanese.

Japanese, yes, and my son's obviously half Japanese and half Australian, yes, Actually, I might touch on Japan.

When was the last time you were there?

2019.

It's been a while actually.

I've missed it so much and I'm planning to come soon.

We'll have to meet there, but I'd love to go to Greece.

From what you told me, we should do a workshop or something together.

It would be lovely.

Let's organize that, let's make it happen.

You're right.

That's a good idea.

Let's make it a goal.

Goal, a little kokorozashi and a nice higai.

Yes, yes, I, I.

I almost have the picture in front of me already.

You know me and you, oh, lovely fantastic, oh, thank you.

So let's move on a little bit more about something you wrote and I think you've shared with me.

You state that you are inspired when your clients discover their true selves by rekindling their childlike inspiration, creativity and curiosity for life, activating their inner voice and personal truth.

That's a beautiful way to describe it, and I'm a big fan of this idea of childlike state and, of course, it reminded me of Ken Moggy.

He's a big believer of reconnecting to this inner child spirit.

So why is that important?

Well, yes, I'm a big fan of Professor Moggi as well.

And when we reconnect that inner child of ours, we return to our authentic selves.

Authentic selves and that's where real clarity lives.

And when we approach things with Shoshin beginner's mind and with Kokishin curiosity, we create room for openness, for deep observation and reconnection.

And through this reconnection with the true self and with our inner child, people can make more conscious and more confident choices towards a more meaningful growth in the areas of life and what really really matters.

I love it.

It's something I've thought about and I was thinking we have our authenticity when we go back to this almost free, this free, childlike state where anything's possible.

But I love how you also mentioned that's where clarity lives.

We get clarity.

I guess we forget about the stress and the things that don't matter and we get this beautiful focus on what matters and we have hope, we have belief and when we were children, like anything was possible with our imagination and our sense of freedom, our creativity, our playfulness.

And then, as we get older, we find out all these problems of the world and relationships and society conditions us and you have to go to school and learn this way and you have to decide your career and choose subjects to study and this kind of incredible, this incredible pressure that most people struggle with to some degree.

And then, of course, we finish school, maybe university, get a job, maybe fall in love, get married.

But along the way I think we lose intention, clarity, freedom, creativity and the inner child is kind of neglected.

I think your coaching, if it brings out this inner child, inspiration for your clients and for these athletes, it must be very transformative.

I hope so.

I'm sure it is.

Tell us a little bit more about any plans you have or your coaching, any goals you'd like to share.

Well, my goal until the end of the year is to visit Japan, meet with you somewhere in Japan or Greece, I don't know work on Ikigai a little bit more and provide more for my people.

This is really interesting because, in a way, this has been a one kind of like a one-person business for me.

Like, I do a lot of study, I spend a lot of time in this room, I do my podcasts, I meet all these amazing people.

Some people do my certification and I'm connecting, but I'm not really connecting that much in person, and I like to meet people in person and connect with people in person, and so that's what I'm hoping to do more.

So I would love to meet you maybe work with you.

Oh, yes, thank you.

This work has become a great source of Ikigai.

It's connected me to amazing people, and here I am.

I just feel so grateful and lucky I can have this conversation with you, so I'm really it's kind of strange like we're so lucky to be living in this time of technology and we can have this call, basically for free.

We can share it with the world.

I'm sure a lot of people will benefit from our conversation.

I'd definitely like to work with you, do something with you, so maybe we can work something out.

But I'm sure there'd be many people who would like to work with you, so how can they contact you?

Thank you, Nick.

I would love to you know, to work with you in the future.

You know that, and even this podcast was a dream of mine.

It has been for the last years and here we are today.

Thank you so much for this opportunity.

So my website, you can find me at andreanacalfagr.

This is my website's address or LinkedIn profile Andreana Calfa.

Yes, maybe, I'm not sure.

Do I have a Ubonuki?

My last, I think?

Andriana Ubonuki Kalfa.

I have both on my LinkedIn profile.

Ubonuki is my Japanese name.

Yes, and I is my first name in Japanese.

Ubonuki is quite rare.

I think Ubunuki is quite rare.

I think Both of my grandparents' surnames are rare, Like.

My grandfather's surname is Ubunuki and my grandmother's surname is Shimazu Shimazu.

Okay, yeah, kind of rare, and do you like to be called Ai?

Yes, I love it.

I love it.

The Japanese community in Athens.

They all call me Ai, Really.

I can call you both, but I might call you Ai now.

And what's the kanji of your name?

Ai.

Ai is for love.

Love, there you go.

You're full of love, so that's a perfect name.

Love, there you go.

You're full of love, so that's a perfect name.

So we will put your websites and your LinkedIn profile in the show notes so if people want to contact you.

But it's been very special to get to know you and thank you for your support.

I know you even shared with me a little video of you doing a presentation and you were very generous and kind to mention me in your presentation in Greek Always always.

A lot of my people knew you already.

They didn't wait for me to tell them they knew you.

Oh, that's good to know.

I guess the podcast is helping.

I really appreciate your vulnerability and sharing your stories about yourself and your family and how you turn loss into realizing what you love and what matters to you and sharing that, so that's very special and you got me a little bit emotional, so that's a good thing too, Thank you.

Thank you so much Ai.

Thank you for creating the room, nicholas.

It was the first time me saying those things in public, and there was a reason for that.

Well, thank you, We've got to do something together soon in person, a workshop.

So let's have a chat about that now.

So we'll end the podcast.

So thank you again for being a wonderful guest, a very thoughtful guest, and I really enjoyed our conversation.

Thank you so much, thank you.