Of the Law and Order franchises.

SVU is considered especially watchable.

We are the amateur detectives who kind of investigate the vicious felonies.

These episodes are based on.

These are our stories done done.

Yay, that's messed up an sv podcast.

I'm Liza Traeger and I'm Cara Clank, And you know how we do SVU true crime.

Sometimes I guess, sometimes not, and always a gab and then there's gabbing, and there's always gabbing up top.

It's so funny because I feel like we're so insecure about how much gabbing we do.

But anytime I meet any of our listeners at any of my shows, they're like, my favorite parts, you guys gabbing.

I'm you're right, You're right, you know, so happy to gab.

I'm also shout out to everyone I met in Europe and the sweetest.

They want you.

There, they want you there, They're requesting for you, they want the pod.

I would love to bring the pod to Europe.

Come on, let's.

Say and in London.

One of the women there, her wife was supposed to come to the show, could not.

She's a CSI investigator called to a crime.

Scene how exciting.

Yeah, wow.

The only excuse for missing one of our shows.

The only excuse for missing a show is I'm on a crime scene.

I'm standing over a body determining cause of death.

That's exciting.

Cool.

So you did Amsterdam Paris?

Like what is it like?

Like Amsterdam?

Even though I know they speak at other language, everybody is so fluent in English, like when you do care?

There were two women in the front, confused as all ever, would not react to anything after the show full accents hardcore, and they had gotten a gift certificate to the venue and they said who.

Was like the fastest talker and like totally using like colloquialisms like not exactly a good like ESL comic to go see.

Or and to sit in the front.

And then she was shocked because I asked the audience like who knows who I am?

Like who's who knows me?

Who's the pot?

And she would and she goes, yeah.

In my head, I went, what do you mean who would know you?

That's not the right action and she goes, but then people didn't know you?

But we got a gift certificate.

I go, for sure, for sure, But I went out with a lot of our listeners.

Afterwards, I went to the bars, I smoked some weed.

There was like a you know, a group of eight to ten.

I would say, oh.

Yeah, And what about Paris, like I'm always some cute boys, and what it's like to do stand up in places where like people really don't speak, like English is not a mean language.

Well, Kara, I would say.

Ninety percent of my fifty person audience in Paris was women that went to France for work in school and found French husbands in state.

Ooh, that's so TikTok.

I feel like, yeah, videos of of like here's why it's better to live in France, like these ladies wow.

Yeah, so and then a really cutey French guy.

There was a woman from Finland who watched My Finland show got a French husband and then they came love that.

But yeah, mostly American speakers that lived there, okay, I would say, And Paris was awesome.

I was only there for one day.

I got seventeen thousand steps and it's like me and Halloween horror nights.

That's exactly how many steps I got it.

And to be there in the midst of the jewel heist, so upset that they caught.

What the Jewel Heights happened?

I was there two three days later.

I was there like the first or second day.

The louver was back open.

Wait, they got caught.

They got caught.

When did they get caught this week?

It sucks.

They got caught out one one was like on a boat or something like they were trying to escape.

Yeah, they got caught unfortunately.

You know What's like?

I also always wonder like where are you selling the Crown Jewels of France?

You know, like I know how arn't.

It's like there's like kind of a market like the Crown Jewels of like a former like Queen of France or Empress of Frances.

It's like, so I think you break it down?

Or okay, can I just tell you?

Did you watch the Accountant or the Accountant too?

No, I've never seen the Accountant.

Casey's Hands is up the best movie of the ever.

He had some he had some art.

He has art because he does underground stuff, the account and he's.

Completely When you said the art thing, I thought of the accountant because it's like a safety net for him if he gets caught.

He could he just has like these nice paintings that he can get rid of.

Oh wait, we've talked about this, that's right.

People use it and people have messaged us because I think we talked about this with the Isabelle Gardner like or isabel stay a Gardner gallery thing.

It's like, what are you doing with a fucking you know, Monet?

But I guess people are like, oh, yeah, I've got this.

If you give me less time, that's a good that's a good call.

Yeah yeah, like a argening ship.

Yeah I didn't.

The accountant seems stupid to me.

Whatever, I will say.

My flights to Europe I did get upgraded to lay down.

I'm a really lucky person.

I get to travel in Europe.

They're delay six hours, way back delay seven hours, so it is kind of wow.

That is the thing I'm gonna complain about.

But I got to watch a lot of movies and the accountant blew my mind.

Oh I loved it.

I don't think Ben Affleck's ever been hotter, and John Barenthal is the hottest person ever.

They shooting right now.

I wish everybody could see it.

Case he's like doing math in his head and is not able to figure this out.

I love the action scenes.

The amount of accurate shooting in such a casual manner to me was awesome.

I loved it.

I mean, Anna Kendrick was there.

She annoys me, but not but it has to do with human traffic.

It's very like fucking with immigration.

And the accountant too, is really timely.

But I fucking loved the account in a way I didn't see coming.

I thought it was like, fine, whatever, I'll watch it before I go to bed, And then I was up for hours, back to back account and being like, why did John Barenthal say, you know to our podcast hottest guy I've ever seen?

I loved it, I know, and Trinity Killer is in it?

John Liftgow, John Lithgow, I finished Dexter.

Wait did you see the spin or not?

Or am I being so crazy and intricate?

Okay, if you if you guys you don't watch spoilers, give me a minute, give me a minute.

It's the scene where you know, he doesn't know it's twins yet and he brings Daniel Bastaschian.

What's his name, it's dust Melchin.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

So when he's in the kitchen and then he switches the drinks and then the guy falls and then after Dexter spins and it's like, oh, who's the smart guy now?

And I like love that spin.

That spin is like everything because then you told me, you.

Me going, did you see the spin?

And I go, I don't know.

I'm at this part.

I don't know what the spin is, Like I didn't.

Well, I knew you had seen it because you knew the twists that there's the Gemini killer.

Yeah, so I knew you had seen it, but just in case, I didn't want to ruin it.

But it's when he like gets him in the kitchen and like he's just proud of himself.

Yeah back, he's back.

Baby, And I was happy I got to see the dance I got.

I got to I feel like, I, oh, yeah back.

I have to go back and listen to the Kadia Saraf interview so that I can like put everything together since I had been like I was an episode in when we interviewed her.

But I really like that nothing ruined it for you, because I was like, oh, the slides and this and that, and I'm glad nothing like penetrating.

And it was like weird things were coming back to me as I was watching them like Jesus, I texted you this, but like the fucking New York Ripper photos were Now, do that is that season two?

Or do we think we're just putting that to bed where they find them.

No, they have to go get him.

They have to go get him.

I want Dexter to go to Minnisoona, Wisconsin.

I want Dexter in Wisconsin.

He's gotta find Eric stone Street.

I want him in Wisconsin so bad.

And then I want the women of Wisconsin meet him.

Yeah, yeah, and then I want the detectives to go for the Ripper, get the Ripper or something.

But they're gonna go after Dexter.

The slides are missing Eric stone Streets Emmy, Emmy, but yeah, but his he's like m O.

Like somebody wrote into Who's the Bitch?

And was like, am I a bitch?

Because I was walking in my neighborhood and this guy like fell over with his bike and was like I'm hurt And she said I'm not gonna help you, and or she said can I call someone for you?

Are you okay?

And he kept being like yeah, I just can't get up.

Can you help me up?

And she was like I'm not gonna go over there because you could attack me.

And like she was like, am I being the bitch?

I was like, are you being the smartest person in the world.

No, you're not a bitch, Like I could not believe.

Like it was exactly like how he getting now I'm getting chills.

I'm like upset.

Yeah, yeah, men don't ask women for her.

And I was like, she was like, I can call someone for you.

My husband's up the road, like she was walking in her neighborhood.

But it's kind of like a rural area I think of Michigan or something like not rural, but like a little bit country.

So scary and so.

And I was like, I wonder if it's someone that listens to both the podcasts or not, because that oh, a lot of people.

But I bet it's someone because that is that is so creepy.

And this this came in but way before I watched Exter like any of that, you know, like, and I was like crazy, but and she was like, yeah, the guy was just like I can't get my bike.

It's like what a bike's weigh like max forty pounds, Like get the bike off of you, Like unless you're truly paralyzed or something like.

It sounded so scary, like the way she we were, well, yeah, I had a scary moment, and it's what we talk about on this podcast all the time.

But so you know, I'm an art fiend.

And if anyone has not looked at my instagram Simpsons National Ireland Gallery column art, Oh my god.

I went through it.

It looked like it took so much time and it was great and I don't even know the references like to the Simpsons, but I was like, wow, these are good, like.

My favorite part.

It is truly the greatest thing.

Our friend Lauren is putting it in her jam newsletter.

So art, but we'll be.

Seeing it, but gotta get it out to the people.

But that was on my second day, and I, oh, the Oscar Wild statue.

I fully started bowling.

It's the coolest statue I've ever seen in my life.

Really, have you ever seen it?

Like it's green and pink and he's making it's the best statue I've ever seen and it's by the Art Museum.

I did cry.

I was like so happy.

But anyways, the Simpsons thing, that's what everyone keeps asking how long it took?

And it was about six to seven hours, but like I had a flight that day, so like after the museum, I had like a lunch by myself, So I started it while I was like eating by myself or dinner or whatever.

And then I did it in the uber to the airport while sitting at the airport, and then I edited it a bunch of it on the flight, and then I checked into my hotel and the uber to the hotel in London, I was doing it, and then I sat at the hotel bar for two hours finishing it.

Okay, when I got back, when.

You're like, okay, I got this.

I got this picture of like a child holding a lamb.

Are you like, oh, there's that episode Lisa has a lamb?

Or were you googling like Lisa lambasas a lamb?

What's the process?

The first thing that caught my eye it was a sketch of like a woman in a pinkish dress, and that's what made me think of Marge's episode with the Chanelle suit.

So I was like, oh, I'll take a photo of it.

I'll do a side by side.

That's cute.

And then I in my head, I went, well, I wonder how many and then I went, I don't want to ruin my art experience by like only thinking about the Simpsons.

So I made it a point to like be in the moment, look at the art and not think ahead.

But then certain things were just so obvious.

I'm like, obviously, that's the lamb.

That's there was actually two Lamb paintings.

I had to I've made two clauses and debated, but like, so a bunch of it.

I just saw stuff.

I was like, this is Simpsons.

But I also always just take pictures of artwork that I like so I could look at later.

And then I also like to send it to our friend who does art management, because I want approval.

I want approval, because in Paris I sent her.

I was like, I was taken by some art.

I went to a random gas.

Is it legit or not?

She goes, we were supposed to go there that week, Like that's legit.

So to me, I feel good about myself when I like can sense something, So I always take photos of things I just love as well.

So then I was searching for specific images and then some it was like Simpson's ghosts, and then I would look through so some were very specific images and some were specific scenes that I then had to pull up on YouTube and screenshot the exact moment that worked.

Wow, it wasn't even in the Google images like nobs okay, and some of them are really fast scenes.

So it really took a lot of screenshottings.

Oh, I get the image I needed, and then some a few different images would work.

So I would make like the image the collage for all the paintings, and then I'd pick the one I like the most, so I would say like seventy percent.

Like I was like, that's gonna be a Maggne, Like it's a Picasso called Baby with the Lollipop.

There's a famous scene with Maggie with the lollipop.

Like yeah.

So for most of them I knew, and then some just I was searched.

I would search like green Grass and like see what the best was, or I had other ideas but they didn't work as visual so it was different.

Amazing.

Yeah, it is the greatest accomplishment.

But before that, the first day I get into Ireland, my hotel room's not ready.

I have to like walk I find something that says something about art, like I'm not going to say the name of the place.

So I walk over and it's a door and it's a brick building and it's really small.

So I'm like, oh, it's not a museum, it's just a gallery.

This seems weird, but I'm like, I'll just go in.

So I ring the buzzer.

A man opens the door and he is on his way out, and I go oh, and he goes, well, I'll stay take a look.

And of course it's just us two and it's his gallery.

So it's like we're talking, and then he tells me it's like thirty year anniversary, so it's a bunch of artworks throughout the decades he's had this gallery.

He has a home from the eighteen hundreds, his great grandfather.

But I mean we're talking, we're talking, and then it's what in the colleens stand.

It's in all of the survivors that we like cover the cases.

I my gut just felt.

I've never felt like this before.

And I'm paranoid and freaked out often and suspicious, but like I swear, my stomach just dropped and I just started looking at him different, and I was like, I need to get the fuck out of here.

Wait.

Just halfway through it wasn't even from the jump.

No, I was being fine, and then my I just everything started panicing, Like my stomach dropped like a roller coaster and wouldn't go away.

And I was like, this is what people talk about.

I got to get out of here, but I wanted to be casual.

And then he was like, what hotel are you at?

And so I just started kind of moving, and once I looked at his face, it reminded me of like the British cases, the cases we cover where it's like a guy with a wife who just has bodies, you know, just yeah, middle aged, a little older, just oh my god, maybe he'd be strong or not.

I don't know, but I just I've never felt that the men have this.

No, it's like women's intuition.

Like casey, have you ever been standing somewhere or anything, You're like, this person is unsafe.

I gotta get away from that.

Like, like, I don't even know if I would have listened to it without our research.

Like the only reason I'm so adamant about it is because of Colleen Stance.

Because I totally know what you're talking about.

Where you're like, I can't even put my finger on this, but this.

I look, something is fucked up here.

But it's crazy to me because to me, I feel like, if it's ever happened to me, it's like from the get go, and it's weird that there was just a vibe shift that feels like something in a TV show where somebody's so innocent and then there's just a flicker of an eye movement and you're like, that guy's bad, you know what I mean, Like in a TV show, but now happening to you in real life.

I'm saying like he looked at me like I was dinner, Like it looked like his face shift.

The way he was looking at me.

After this was after I already had the feeling.

I was like, oh my god, I gotta go, I gotta go.

And he was nice like there was nothing yeah and that.

But when I walked out, I was so fucking panicked.

Walk the opposite way of my hotel and just kept walking and I ended up walking into a beautiful garden that was dedicated to Irish people that lost their lives for freedom.

Oh it was like gorgeous, gorgeous garden, like water pool cross Is this all in Dublin?

Seagulls?

Yeah?

Wow, so it was.

And then I was paniced for a while, and then I went back to uh, you know, walked and got to my back to my hotel.

I just went to your hotel and watched the SVU to calm down.

I had a nap, dude.

The it's tough.

When you're in a place for a day, you want to live the most of it, and then you're also hyped up from the show, so you're not in bed until two and then five am I have to be at the airport.

And the jet lag is like crazy.

Well it wouldn't have been if my flight took off on time.

I planned for it.

I planned very well.

It was very specific.

And then speaking of I can't I don't don't want to put people on blast.

But it is also crazy.

So I'm at a party.

I'm not going to say where or when whatever, and someone comes up to me.

So a group of us.

A guy comes up supposed to talk to us, and he goes, I have something to tell you.

I'm like, oh, party gossip.

He goes, there's a murderer here.

I go, excuse me.

He goes, dude, there's someone here.

There's a documentary.

He killed his girlfriend and got off on it.

They've ruled it a suicide.

But she has all these stab wounds and markings on the on the back of her body.

He's here, and then our friend goes, I fucking hugged him today.

I know him.

So I was at a party with this guy.

The it's a Hulu doc.

It's called Death an Apartment six zero three.

What happened to Ellen Greenberg?

And this is all alleged.

This is obviously alleged.

He has not been found guilty in any sort of criminal core and I have not watched the documentary, so that's important to note.

This is just gossip I heard while I was blacked out drunk.

But wait a minute, but I was with I think, hold on, I didn't say.

I had him.

I didn't know him.

And then that night also someone said, like the meanest thing I've ever said to me.

I was so mad.

What I was truly talking to someone.

I was blacked out, like there was a party upstairs.

I was like, I had a great fucking night.

I was, but I was My goal was to get drunk and have fun.

And I'm like talking to someone and I'm talking talking to and then she looks at me and goes, it seems like you're doing bits.

I go, excuse me, wait, my.

Friend Nancy directed death in apartment six o three.

Oh my god.

You have to text her to ask her if you did it.

The doc I think is supposed to be he did it?

Should I text her right now?

Text her right now, do anything?

Text her right now.

I'm gonna finish.

So basically, this girl like, to me, as a comedian, the worst thing you could do is bits and conversation, like doing jokes and practicing jokes or planning jokes while you're in the moment talking to someone to me is egregious.

It's like why you won't be liked if you do it.

It's also my biggest fear in life.

And so if I even mention something that I do in my set, I always go, oh, I do a joke about this.

It's very apporting to me.

Right Or if we're having a fun chat and then.

Everyone laughs at something I said, I'll be like, oh, do you guys like I'm gonna write that down, like I'll do that.

But to accuse me of doing bits to your face while I'm just like being engaged trying to like talk to you and be your friend to me is so insulting, and so I just I clarified.

She said it, and I went okay, and I turned around and walked away from her.

I like I could I I don't know, maybe she didn't, but she knows commedy like it.

To me, I was like, okay, because only a horrible person would do that, Like it's.

Really I mean, we do this.

We know people who just do bits bits.

They're out of my life and they're at a party with That's not me.

I don't do that.

I'm like a pretty real pot I've never seen you do that.

No, I'm like, Matt, you don't even do like bits on stage, like bits are not your thing, Like I don't know like bits, Like I'm not like, oh that's a Liza, Like I don't know you do jokes you like, but everything you do is so conversational that, like your whole stand up is conversational.

I don't even feel like you're doing bits when you're doing bits.

I was stunned, and I know I was really drunk, but I definitely started to cry in the bathroom stall.

But like then I had a great night.

For a second, I did because I was like, if someone it's not authentic because it's also inauthentic.

You're calling me in authentic, and you're calling me like tough to be around.

She was doing is like what.

If she was also saying like these feel like bits, like you could do these on stage?

Is it was it like that?

No, because I clarified because I looked at her like what, yeah, that's crazy.

I go, if you don't like my enthusiasm, I'm happy to turn away.

I know everyone here, I don't have to talk to you, and yeah, oh yeah.

So this was like an industry.

Party, so like upstairs was really busy with suits and so me and six friends were alone in the basement bar getting hammered like.

I didn't talk to anybody else at all.

I didn't meet anyone I stood downstairs get in lit with just like our close friends.

So I don't know, but I was definitely going crazy about Oh I watched Sorry baby, you know, I don't know on the fly, I.

Saw a story with your list of movies and that was the only one that I was like, what is that?

I don't know that I have a victor.

She's like I knew her from New York.

I don't know if comedy.

She had a book, like I don't.

I don't know how I know her.

We follow each other and maybe I've met her a few times.

But she wrote and directed this movie and it's gotten a lot of attention, and she's gotten to go to cool fashion shows.

But like, it got a lot of attention.

But it's a small independent movie.

But then I saw one of the producers was Barry Jenkins, so I don't know, okay, and Lucas Hedges and Naomi Aki.

There's like big people and people in it that I've heard of.

Yeah.

Oh, Also, I finally watched My Mom Jane.

Oh, I'm gonna cry bad to say I haven't seen it.

I loved it.

Okay, I'm gonna watch it.

I just knew I loved Marishka, but like watching it truly, like the way I just like, am I can't it.

Was really what I'm going to watch.

I'm gonna watch.

I made my mom watch.

I sent her my pastors.

I was like, you have to watch this.

Been talk to her yet, but like, yeah, she watched it and me, I don't know.

I just was really moved by it and can't wait to watch it again.

And I think she's gunn for an Oscar nomination, and maybe we should try to get her finally for the podcast, because the bitch is doing press.

Yes, she's doing pods.

She's called she got right.

Oh.

She also admitted she saw Hamilton twenty seven times.

I saw that, Like that's a little bonkers.

But she is doing press.

She ha me Pohlar's podcast, Like it's kind of exciting.

We should we can try.

Yeah, yeah, I mean I wonder, Yeah, I mean yeah we should, but we yeah, we should figure that out, but are not or we take our time maybe when she's really gun in it in the spring to get that Oscar.

Have you been catching up on the current season.

I know you've been like in Europe and stuff, so maybe you're Hulu like work.

I've only watched two episodes.

I'm being huh mind and I can't wait.

I like the vibe of the new season, like just generally I'm not let you know, like I think that.

And we're getting a few comments from listeners too that are like I'm feeling the female showrunner bringing it kind of back to old form, which I like.

And they're also going back to the old Neil Bear ways.

I feel of a guest star.

Yes, like a guest star being this big thing, Like I feel a return.

To that in a way.

Yeah.

Well that yeah, because in a recent episode, Norbert Leobots, the original bach was, who has also been on sv before, was who they were kind of plugging because I think they were making like wicked references at least on the Instagram.

But then.

I also just like that it's like there's some regular crimes against regular people.

It's not, like I've said before, the most like all these like hugely institutionalized like you know, uh people like high powered figures or like human trafficking where it's these massive issues that you're like, oh my god, like how do we even get your brain wrapped around this?

It's like no, this person was like in an Airbnb and they were assaulted, so like what happened?

You know?

Like so I think that there's I think I have high hopes for this season.

And I'm loving our boy, Kevin Kane, our fave.

He's really great.

And I watched one of an episode in a newer season to research up on a guest we're about to have, you know, like who's been in a few episodes.

So like I watched it, and I was watching Kevin Kane and he had a mustache, and I was like, I fucking love Kevin Kane, Like, yeah, when was the last time we were this gung ho about a new detective?

Like never, never, I'm usually suspicious and annoyed, like I love him.

Maybe I know.

Yeah, And hopefully a lot of you got you guys all got the answer, because a lot of you were like, did you guys know the new guy was on rape and erupted And it's like, yes, we just and that was last week's episode.

So but uh yeah, maybe we'll get Corey cott on here to talk to us about being Brock Turner and now being this like guy.

He's doing a little bit of a New York accent too, which I always think is like a choice.

But okay, we really have to start.

I think he's called up a forty five minute flag.

I just want to say, I'm you know, I'm doing my bald in the Beautiful and queens who like to watch full deep dive.

Yeah, And I.

Really thought you were just saying you're gonna be on bald In the Beautiful and I was I was about to have a heart attack.

I was like you're on, I would not be able to keep that in.

No, Katya just mentioned doctor Michael Badden, and I was excited.

That's the note.

Actually, can I also out of the way you thought I was going to be on it?

She just mentioned a thing that I also Yeah.

No, Katya, on the last podcast or two ago, they were talking about Halloween and she goes, yeah, like when people dressed as the Chilean and I was like, I dressed as a Chilean miner, but I want everyone to know the Chilean miners were all rescued and were fine on October fourteenth of that year, and by Halloween it felt like it was okay to put on a little hard hat and be a Chilean minor.

They were okay.

I mean, it was a terrible thing, but like it wasn't like they were currently trapped and we were like, lol, let's get drunk, you know, Like they were all out, so I thought it was okay.

I almost texted Trixy to be like they were out of the cave, but I didn't.

I can't.

I have to resist the urge to text about every single comment I have on the pod.

Wait, and one more quick thing.

I got a new fridge.

Ooh my other one, remember on air, like my door stopped closing and so the fridge door.

And then when the guys came to deliver the new one at seven am.

He went to open it and the door handle flew off of it.

So it was time.

It was time, you know, New York or not LA, maybe California, but definitely LA just followed New York in that they have to get people fridges.

Now, you know how that was like a bullshit thing about apartments.

Heeries that you didn't have to give fridges.

California is the only place whereaches are not guaranteed.

Now they are.

They changed it.

That was like so fucking strange, Come to California, get a fridge.

One more quick thing before we finished.

We all know this administration is like evil and is starving people and depriving them of their snap benefits.

So I wanted to recommend an organization to donate to, but honestly, it's so by state.

So I would just like everybody to take a second.

And I mean, there's Feeding America, there's World Central Kitchen, there are like national ones, but I think googling in your state where you can get people snap benefits.

Please go donate to a food pantry, like, like, let's.

Help people because our government is not doing that.

Like I'm like devastated by members of my own community that are going to be going hungry in November, the month of thanks the month of Thanksgiving, that people are not gonna be able to eat because of this like psychotic government.

Uh.

That was actually the craziest part about being abroad.

And I was doing jokes about it, but I'm like, usually you go to Europe and you can make fun of Europe, but like, we don't have a Department of Education, so yeah, I don't know, Like is it that bad that my diet coke swarm?

I'm like, why isn't there ice?

You guys don't use dryers?

This place is weird.

Yeah, And it's like truly we have nothing and they're starving our citizens so they can imprison them.

But we're gonna yeah, uh yeah, be me there for people.

But I guess a bunch of states, this is just our free, our suing.

But nothing matter, right, And you know what, like the right like their big thing is like well it's the Democrats closing up like they don't care about Congress.

They're doing whatever they want, so like, why would this be any different if they wanted to feed people, they could feed them, Like they're so stupid.

It's really really hard.

It's really hard.

I mean, I am on aka.

I don't know what's gonna happen to my health insurance?

Me too, girl, I like we'll check as this episode.

Coming out, I will know how much more I'm being charged next year.

And I'm already like I'm already.

Like like struggling to pay for our ACA right now.

Like it's fucking crazy.

And then when you go on the website for Snap or for the government, it says because the Democrats voted it down.

There are just on government communications blaming the Democrats when they are in charge of everything.

It's so insane.

We're living in the upside down.

And I hope that we can afford our health insurance.

Whoop.

Okay, let's get started.

But please, if you have the means give back.

Let's get food to people that need it this month, because this is fucked.

But Maslow's hierarchy of needs, it's truly the most important thing.

Yeah, I learned that from you, that whole hierarchy.

Yeah, all right, let's get started.

Another classic episode.

Today we are doing Russian Love Poem, Season one, episode twelve.

This bad Boy is from two thousand.

Oh my gosh, this came out in January.

Of two thousand.

You know what I'm about to say?

What pre nine to eleven?

Pre nine eleven?

Yeah, of course, of course I.

Also want to say, I need I need this recap.

I've seen this episode lots of times.

I speak the language.

I still don't know what's happened.

I don't know anything.

I can't keep anything on track.

Like I watch it and I for some reason, it goes into my brain and leaves immediately, like I don't know why.

It's like a wormhole for me.

So I'm exciting.

This episode is so crazy because I remember the beginning.

I could practically word for WORDW know the beginning of it, and then I had absolutely no idea how it ended.

When they reveal one of the characters at the end, I was like, that's who it is, Like I did not it.

Also, Oh my god, I love a season one so juicy, so many plot holes.

So I just remembered so much.

Oh god, yeah, this is exciting.

Yeah, there's so much.

This is one of the most convoluted episodes.

Also, this show really in the first twelve seasons is so fucking obsessed with Russia.

Like there's so much to do with Russia.

Like this episode is like.

Has Russian on his like special skills, so they're like, let's get over there.

Like it's just like if you think look back, there is so much Russian stuff in this show.

In the first twelve season, we got to ask Neil Bear, like, what's the deal dog?

He wasn't in.

Season one, but it keeps going.

I mean we have to be like who among you?

Was like, because Craigan loves the Russian sex worker.

Yes, but there's Russian mafia, Like there's all this stuff.

It's like there's a pet problem wanted, you know, the baby trade.

Maybe it's like at the time, like in New York City, the Russian mob was kind of like the main mob, and like now I think it's moved into other mobs, as we've seen on See It's moved into like you know, Armeni and Maffa.

I started watching Barry and there's Chechnie Chechene in mine.

Oh yeah, wow, they really went deep.

Yeah, they went Barry is so good.

I love Barry.

That ball, Chechenian guy, runaway star.

I mean a funny gotty like we love him so funny.

Yeah, I don't know why it took me a while to get into it, but I also need to.

And he's a great actor, like he does dramatic stuff later in the series.

Like he's really good that guy.

So the first minute of this episode, the first second of this episode, I hear the word Andrew, and I know exactly who this is.

It is Deborah Rush.

She is and to me a personal icon, Like I love this woman.

She is like a Catherine O'Hara to me.

She plays Jerry Blank's mother and Strangers with Candy.

She's Piper's mother on Orange is the New Black.

She is just like her so girl to me, she plays the Jessays husband's mom.

They go to the steakhouse.

Like I'm obsessed with her.

Yeah, she has like a she's a rich lady voice.

Isn't she the mom in the beginning?

No, maybe she's not.

I think I've taken it too far.

Hold on.

Yeah, Deborah Rush.

Oh, yep, she's in big business.

She plays someone named Binkie Shelton.

She's the mos like in the Limma.

Yeah, that's like so her like, I feel like she always plays like a rich psycho name.

I didn't know that was their names, Binkie and Hunt Binkie Wells always from Arthur, a rich lady, and she is just so good at it.

Joe Griffs is the dudding in big business, yes, but he's SVU hardcore.

Oh god, has she Horowitz?

Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, Wow Wow.

I can't believe I just put that together.

This has been another another journey down IMDb with us.

Casey's pulling his hair out.

Okay, yeah, we're literally at minute ten.

We've said nothing.

Okay.

She is walking up the stairs of this New York townhouse and she's like Andrew and walking up the stairs and being like, Andrew, are you home or are you out hooring?

And she says it right in front of her little blonde daughter who's right behind her.

And then when she gets to the top of the stairs, she sees a candelabra is lit with candles.

The music is ominous.

I mean, we're about to find a dead body.

They stop in the doorway of a study and the daughter goes, daddy, oh god no and runs into the room.

Deborah Rush stands there unaffected, not sad, not shocked, like kind of no like noute.

And we see the daughter bent down in front of her dad, yelling daddy, and when they turn around and you actually see he's a different kind of daddy.

Okay, he's chained up, leather, harness, gimp mask everything the BDSM fantasy and he's lying their limp and the daughter is upset and crying and like looking to her mom.

And then hard cut.

To dad getting zipped up into a body bag.

Okay, he was not just passed out, he is gone.

Benson is talking to the wife, Deba Rush, and she's like, well, I dropped my son off at his Tribeca Aloft and he had a Hampton's bachelor party.

So we're getting a very quick idea of who these people are.

So it was just her and her daughter, Emily, who discovered the dad.

Stabler is talking to Emily, She's like, I was with my mom the whole weekend, not by choice.

She's such a bitch.

And this is a daddy's girl.

Okay, this girl is a daddy's girl.

She's like, daddy wanted a divorce but she didn't.

And Stabler's like why, and he's like, well, She's like she wanted to be missus Andrew Harlan.

So that's the victim is Andrew Harlan.

Benson asks anyone who'd want to hurt your husband?

And she goes define hurt like she's so good, and she's basically laughing.

She's like, take your pick, and then she starts showing Benson this frame and it's kind of like an aura frame before the Internet.

She just like keeps clicking it open and it changed his pictures, like I never really saw anything like that.

And as she's clicking through it, it's just Andrew with the dude, Andrew with the dude, Andrew with a dude, like he's with all these muscly dudes.

And then she's like, oh, this one I actually recognize.

He used to be our pizza He used to he's our pizza guy.

He used to deliver us pizza and he also just delivered I guess you know.

So this beIN.

Benson goes, so your husband was gay, and she goes, what's more than bisexual, compulsively orgasmic, polymorphously perverse?

He would have sex with a plant, Like she's giving I mean, this is the year two thousand and we're talking about an absolutely like compulsive guy that's like, this doesn't fall on the spectrum of gayer strait.

This guy is just like compulsively sex sexual.

Yeah.

Yeah.

So then Benson says one of the best lines in SBU history out of nowhere.

I know the moment I heard it, I go, wow, Kara is so lucky she gets to say this.

She goes, do you think there's a reason that that that the purpse sodomized your husband with a banana?

And I think that one is always on the slide shows that like BuzzFeed and random websites that don't even care about us for you will do of like the best sview lines.

And it's like the Captain with the pickle and it's the husband with the banana.

And then she goes, oh, yeah, he was allergic to bananas.

He used to get covered in hives.

And she's fighting back at giggle.

Okay, oh she was hiding back tears.

I thought it finally hit her that he's dead, and she's like a little sad and that it's someone that she knows because of the banana, like it was, but you think she was wanting to laugh.

I thought it was a wife who's like, you like it fucking weird.

You died with a banana up your ass, you fucking wacko.

Like I think she's like a little bit like, well.

There you go.

Of course he had a fucking banana up his ass, like and then she was like, he used to get covered in hives.

Like it wasn't like it was an anaphylactic alert allergy.

It was just kind of like an allergy allergy.

And so I feel like she's kind of like, oh god, and then she excuses herself to call her son Adam okay, and then we bounced right into the credits.

And now nothing I love more than a Season one squad room.

The way they just made it look like now they make it look like four people work there, and honestly, the way that things.

I mean, I was about to say, the government keeps shutting things down, but police are always funded.

So now they make it seem like there's one extra person around.

In season one, it was like forty people were around and you just happened to be getting the conversation between two or three of them.

So Belzer is like, oh my god, it's so rude.

How they shoved a banana up this guy's ass, and Benson's like, I don't get why the wife would stay if she knew her husband was gay, and it's like, Benson, I know it's season one, but you know, money rules the world.

And Cassidy's like looking at the guy from the pizza delivery guy from the photo and he's like, I feel like I went to high school with this guy, Like I know this guy.

Like it's like just classic Cassidy, not really paying attention to He just keeps being like, how do I know the sky?

And then whoever inserted the banana?

They assume knew that he was allergic, but that he or she might not have meant to have killed him, and I'm like, yeah, I don't know why that would even be hand in hand because.

The obos I don't knock him up.

Yeah me exactly.

I don't know why you would say that they could have absolutely wanted to kill him.

So I don't know why they come to that conclusion because it's not like it's an anaphylactic.

It's not a death reaction that he has to banana.

It's like what, he's gonna get hived and then then you're gonna kill him so hard to get an allergic reaction out of a dead man, Belzer says.

And then Daddy Craigan wants to know if this was premeditated or a sex game gone awry, and why are we so sure the wife is innocent?

And Stabler's like, she's got an alibi and her daughter hates her ass she wouldn't lie to protect her.

So then Jeffries pops in and we love I mean, I like Jeffries this episode.

She literally does nothing except pop in and go more information, like she's just a delivery service for like little tidbits.

In this episode, she.

Pops in and goes, well, now I know the reason the wife was so giddy.

It's because her husband is worth a hundred million dollars, which she and the two kids are gonna split evenly, So thirty three mil not bad.

Benson and Stablers, although with a state tax I wonder what you end up walking with anyway, still a lot.

Benson and Stabler.

Say, I'm sure they've got it figured out all protected.

You're right, that's absolutely crazy that I would even say that.

Benson and Stabler are like, it didn't feel like the wife had anything to hide, like she had no crocodile tears.

She just seemed very openly kind of antagonistic towards her ex husband, and like, there's no I don't think she's lying.

Craigan, traffic cops, everyone, Jeffries, pull up all his records, his bills, Benson is Stabler, go talk to the sun, see if he knows anything about his dad's dating habits.

Then even though he traffic cops, everybody, we go to where Cassidy and Munch are going, which is not where anyone told anyone to go.

It's probably got cut.

But he Now we're at the apartment of Bulldozer, who is a classic law and order guy who will not stop moving while the police are questioning him.

This guy's literally moving things from his apartment into a moving truck.

I don't know if he's a mover or if he's personally moving, but he will not stop actually physically moving his body.

Cassidy will not drop, Like how do I know you?

What do I know you from?

And he's like maybe from my commercials.

My banana spot is still running and Cassidy's like that's it, And it's like, why is it a commercial about a banana?

Is that part of it.

We never go back to that.

They never go back to that at all.

They just say he's got a banana spot.

Is it a spot?

I've never in my life seen a commercial for the sale of bananas, So is it for.

I guess Chiquita Banana?

And I come to say, oh yeah, Oh I wonder.

I wonder if this Muscley guy was with the a banana lady in a commercial.

I've doing a huge job to book.

You're right, the Chiquita Banana is a jingle, but I'm like not visualizing the commercial right now, but I will look it up later anyway.

Cassidy's like, that's it.

You're the banana guy.

Okay.

So they're like, so, what's your real name and he's like, my real name is Bulldozer.

That's my stage name.

And he's like, I'm an make it really big and porn soon.

And he shows them this glamour shot of him, like I want to say headshot, but it's full body or three quarter body, and it's him naked with the pizza box over is junk, of course, and he's like, I just do these cheesy commercials for money, but I was born to be in porn and it's like it's the year two thousand, Like, commercials are absolutely paying more money than porn is.

Don't you think, Like if this is still DVD's, porn is huge as well, I would say it was a different era.

Yeah, yeah, and especially if you get to the top of your game.

But you could just be sort of mediocre booking tons of commercials and make a lot of money.

Yeah for this guy, but porn is his passion.

It seems like porn is his passion exactly.

That's where he sees himself.

That's his that's worn to do it.

Yeah, and guess what.

He's available.

He's still looking for a porn talent agent if these two cops happened to no one.

So they ask him, why did you break it off with Andrew?

And mister Dozer is like, wow, he didn't pay for the last seven dinners.

He gave me nothing, and all he wanted to do was have sex.

Plus we're both tops, so that didn't really work out.

So they're like, well, did he give you gifts?

And he shows them he's like kind of this like sort of heavy medieval handcuff looking device that looks very heavy and like a would have to be installed, and he's like, Andrew gave me this to practice on and if the wife doesn't want it, I'll keep.

It or whatever.

So Munch goes, I think she won't notice it's missing.

So then at the.

Sun Adam Harlan's apartment and this guy's interesting.

I looked up this actor literally one episode of SVU, two episodes of Like As the World Turns.

That's it, that's his whole.

I'mdb he's handsome, he looked hand thought.

I thought I knew who the guy was.

I looked him up.

Anyway, he is yeah, and he's like my dad and I They're like, were you and your dad close?

And he goes, oh, yeah, really close until he started doing my girlfriends and then he's like, once he touched them, I dumped them.

So a recent one was named Becky Sorenson.

She's a painter who lives in No Ho.

So now we go talk to Becky Sorenson and she's played by Melissa Sage Miller, who goes on to play eighty A Jillian Hardwicke in season twelve, who we call White House Black Market the most forgettable ADA of all time.

The fact that I didn't even clock that she looks completely different.

It's really weird.

Like she's blonde, she's I mean, it's twelve years difference age also, but she looks very different.

I think once she's like a redhead.

They make her very plain.

She reminds me of Kardy from America's Next Top Model.

Okay, remember, yes, I do remember, very very yes, very corn fed Iowa type of gal.

Right yeah yeah yeah yeah.

But made it to the top two.

I think she should have.

Oh she won, she won carried one Melrose, Yeah, got it?

So honey, and I know everything.

I know so much stupid shit, it's crazy, it's fun crazy.

Oh my god, what about Tyra's hot I was trying.

I was talking to someone.

I was I was tucking to someone about housewives and we were like talking, and then she just looked at me and went, yeah, I just don't really have the kind of memory you have for these scenes.

Because she would say something, I go absolutely not, do you remember this and this moment and this, and she was like, yeah, I don't.

I really don't.

You're out of your element up.

Okay, So anyway, blonde Becky is telling them how Adam was young and he thinks small but there's nothing small about daddy, okay, gross.

But I saw the guy.

I mean, we didn't see the guy's face, but like he just didn't look that hot, even in his leather.

Like I mean, this blonde girl is very attractive and cool, and the set I just like, I don't know because the Seventh this reminds me of Seventh Heaven Dad vibes or it's like, what, how are you getting to bang?

I guess rich rich?

I forgot rich rich Duah.

I mean Seventh Heaven Dad.

By the way, in the context of the episode trade, Just in case anyone thinks, so she's.

Just talking about the Seventh No, I'm not just bringing up like this that pedophile.

Yeah yeah, yeah yeah.

In trade he's like yeah everyone, but it's also it's yeah, it's totally money and confidence.

But also she says, Andrew was enthusiastic did things to your body that aren't even in the Kama Sutra, And it's like, I don't know, the Kama Sutra seems pretty detailed, but yeah, I don't know what that man's coming up with.

But they moved on after a short and intense, you know if affair.

It was only two weeks that they banged for and he's got a short but intense attention span, she says, and he wasn't into monogamy, not even serial monogamy.

And it's like, yeah, if you're not into monogamy at all, why would you be into one after another monogamy?

Like, I don't know, he's not into any monogamy.

But they show her pictures of the men and the only one she recognizes is Charlie Poe, and she mentioned something about chartering a boat and she's like Andrew and Charlie Poe like, oh my god, Ascondalo, like we can't believe it.

So now we're talking to Charlie Poe and he's in a little sailor hat and a white outfit, very captain of below deck, and he's like flashing a picture of his family and swearing up and down that he is not attracted to the male gender at all in any way.

And then they're like, like.

You're wearing a little sailor cap.

You're like camp right now, sir, You're wearing like truly a little skipper hat.

What is that?

Show yea?

And he literally can't stop talking about how mask he is.

He's like, don't let this hat fool you.

I love pussy like and they're like they show him a picture of him and Andrew and they're like, dog, we didn't come here with no receipts, like come on, and they're like, we also have nudes of you.

So okay.

So they're showing.

Him this pick of him with Andrew and they're like, we also have nudes, babes, So like, let's talk, you know, and he's like, I never did anything.

I swear it wasn't me.

I mean, his lying is really bad.

Like Benson is like rolling her eyes at how bad this guy's lying is.

She's like, I don't have the time.

And then he's like if you tell my wife and they're like, you don't have to tell your wife, just like fucking spill it.

And then he launches about like do you know how much it cost to put a kid through school in the city, even nursery school.

So yeah, Andrew liked to sleep with me a few times.

I never did anything like.

He acts like he just laid there while this rich guy fucked him, and maybe that is what he did, but he's like I just laid there.

He's like, I just this guy slept with me.

Is what he would say.

I didn't sleep with him, and then he helped pay for my kid's education, So then I mean, this guy must have just been hemorrhaging money with the amount of people he's fucking and and but then these.

Are where the holes show up for me.

Why is he like he's fucking this sailor and paying for his kids' school but he's not fucking He's not giving Bulldozer any money, Like, what's going on?

Why are certain people getting money and not?

And then the sailor walks away and Stabler yells how often did you two fellows tie each other up?

And it's just loud enough for his coworkers to hear.

So the sailor comes like back and he's like, listen, yes, sometimes we did bondage.

But the Sailor's like, Andrew like to tie me up because honestly, I'm ticklish, and he, you know, he just wanted me to say still because I'm ticklish that I just keep moving, and they're like, shut the fuck up.

Benson cuts them off and goes, do you know any of the other guys?

And she goes and he goes, what other guys?

He goes, what are you talking about I was the only one.

It was both of our first times.

I'm like, okay, dumb ass, go back to your talgue boat, like you're dumb.

So now at the precinct, the gang is stumped.

No one fits the profile, like everyone's got a clean record, no angry breakups, no motives.

Everybody just kind of fast and furious banged this rich man and then moved off into the night.

And Cassidy makes a crack about this for a fifty.

Year old, he's got a lot of energy.

I mean's like fucking young girls, young guys, old guys, family, men's porn star.

He is out on the town.

His wife said he'd fuck a plant.

You know, he's doing whatever's available and looks exciting, and uh, Cassidy makes a crack about guys being fifty and he's like, I'm sure munching you and Craigan and have good stamina two or whatever.

Who cares.

And then Munch points out that this guy spent more money on the women than on the men.

There's forty thousand dollars on his bills of on lingerie.

Though that could be for the guys too, It's hard to tell.

And then Munch goes, this guy was truly horny, and I'm obsessed.

I'm like put it on.

His gravestone, like this guy was and this man was truly horny.

So good.

So then wait, I want to remember that forever.

Let me try to download it.

This guy was truly horny.

I mean, maybe that's merch.

I don't know.

This guy was truly horny.

Is so good.

So then again, Jeffries pops in with a little bit of information.

She goes, Listen, they found a fingerprint in the study and it belonged to a Russian woman named Sonya Petrovitch.

She came to the US three years ago green card.

Her profession is listed as something in Russian, which, of course Munch says that means hooker, which is Munch's word, not mine.

Wait, okay, okay, why would her like official profession be listed in Russian as such slang?

Yeah, but what it was the word I don't remember.

Maybe it meant like domestic help or something.

I didn't I didn't write it.

I couldn't write it down because it was just like honestly, they didn't they didn't say it, they didn't put it in the subtitles, even like a even like a you know what is it called phonetic like pronunciation of it, so I didn't bother trying to write it down.

So now top of ac two were at the Turkish baths in the East Village with a ponytailed Russian guy and he's telling Benson and Stabler you don't have to strip, but you have to take off your shoes.

And he says, Sonya's been gone a few weeks.

She met a guy named Victor.

Doesn't it go to the cut?

It goes to my favorite cut of all time.

Then it's like Benson and Stabler and Adida's slides, and it just cuts to them wearing Adida slides.

Oh my god, you're so right.

I did not clock this.

They are wearing the classic Adidas slides that I wore in high school every day.

I mean, maybe the only Benson footshot we've ever gotten beside the product boot.

And even then it's in a shoe.

Well, you know, like state like we've not seen their feet.

We've not seen their feet before and now.

At season one, but I don't think we've ever seen a detective foot Again, I'm putting this on the Instagram.

If you don't follow our Instagram.

Get on over there because I'm putting it up.

So they're sliding through the Turkish baths with this guy in their slides, and he's like, well, Sonya used to work here.

She's been gone a few weeks.

She met a guy named Victor, said she's in love.

He's rich, he owns Ecstasy, the hottest spot in Manhattan.

There's a three month wait less for a facial and he's pissed this guy.

He's like, I gave her a good job and she left me for that pig, Victor.

And he says, Sonya treats men like she's a whore.

But then he explains that in the US, a whore is just a hooker.

In Russia, whores are the top of the social scene.

Everyone respects them, but they rarely fall in love.

I just don't know true.

We're just getting into this weird socio like sociological like anthropological definitions of like how sex workers are different in different countries, and like how different women fall in love because of cultures.

It's it's like I'm listening, I don't know if it's true, but like you know, I'm this episode.

They're alive and pretty heavily.

This is like the thesis statement of the episode.

Like this whole episode goes on to be about this.

I know, but it's like, sure, they're at fancy parties or like rich people have sex workers around, but I like, at the end of the day, I feel like someone might murder them.

Like I don't know if it's.

Actual like actual respect, Like I think they're allowed.

And it's cool maybe, but it's not like they're I just don't buy it.

And because I readie this thing once where Russia had a sexual revolution but not a feminist revolution.

And yes, because even in all the episodes we've seen where there's like a high power madam or somebody who's Russian and she's setting up Russian brides, she still is beholden to the scary guy that's gonna murder everybody, you know, like she's never the top top top of the food chain.

But anyway, he.

Goes American girls fall in love so easily, and I don't really give a damn where Sonya is.

And then a guy comes in and we hear the click clack of his shoes and he's speaking Russian to ponytail guy and they're like, what about his shoes.

He's not in any fucking Adida slides, and Ponytail's like he's allowed.

So then the cops go with Ponytail into the back room at these baths, and I can't tell how much time has elapsed because I guess the guy that just walked by is already in the tub.

And it's a private tub where this nasty looking dude is like soaking with a girl on each arm and they're like drinking champagne and it's supposed to be fancy, but it doesn't look fancy to me, Like it looks kind of.

Gross, and I think they've probably filmed it by my house.

I'm being honest, I know it's disgusting.

Well, they're like, wait, I recognize that guy, and he goes, well, yeah, he's one of the most renowned violinists in the world.

And there's because there's a violinist next to the tub serenading them, and then they're like, shoes yeah, And then they're like, no, no, not him, tub guy, Like the tub guy is the guy we recognize.

But Ponytail goes, he's a good friend, a respectable businessman, So you know the answer is not respectable at all.

Shady as fuck.

Okay, So at Ecstasy.

Spa, now they're asking to speak to Sonya, but the girl at the front is like, oh, Sonia doesn't work here anymore, but go to room six and talk to Natasha.

They were friends.

So she makes Benson go alone.

I don't know what the deal is.

There's all kinds of weird stuff where certain people can talk to people by gender in this episode, so she makes Benson go alone.

Stablers not allowed.

Benson goes to talk to to Natasha.

It's funny.

She leaves her little room and she goes, I'll be right back, and then suddenly her and Benson are strolling on like a gorgeous rooftop Manhattan views like you just wanted to step out in the hallway for like a quick chat, but they're like having a beautiful Manhattan walk.

And so She's like, oh, did son is mafia boyfriend already screw her over?

And then Natasha says, Yuri, he got her a singing job at this restaurant.

We used to be friends, me and Sonya.

We lived together, we got food at Brighton Beach together.

But so Benson's like, well, did she date Victor the guy that owns this place, and she's like, yeah, everyone dates Victor.

That's how you get a job here.

So it's like, that's not that scandalous.

And then she's like, why would you even ask that?

Yeah, the like how did you sleep with Craigan to get your job?

I'm so confused.

And then she's like did she have an American boyfriend Andrew Harlan?

And Natasha's like, maybe I don't know Andrew.

Maybe she met a lot of men.

It's why we aren't friends anymore.

And then she explains that they both went to audition at a nightclub.

They both sang, and she goes, it's as simple as this, I have talent.

She does it.

She got the job because she was banging Yuri and he's connected.

So they broke up over an auditioned to be a singer at a Russian restaurant.

So you know, I guess.

Friends come and go at the Moscow Rushturan literally just called Moscow restaurant in Brighton Beach.

A woman is singing in Russian.

Everyone applauds.

She walks off stage and this is Sonya.

Stabler and Benson are like, can we have a word, and she denies knowing Andrew, so Benson jumps at the chance to refresh her memory and she's like, Babe, we found your fingerprint at the study.

So enough, and this girl went to the same school of lying as that dumb sailor kid did because she's telling them, oh, I cleaned his house.

Yeah, the housekeeper needed to fill in.

I was doing a favor.

We help each other in America, Okay, bitch, I don't think we do.

But she says the housekeeper is Katya.

She's out of town and she took her passport, like it's a very developed lie.

And they're like, wow, a big star like you cleaning houses.

And then they're done with the bullshit.

They're like about to arrest her if she doesn't tell them where Katya is by tomorrow.

I don't know, Like this episode is convoluted, like her fingerprint was found at a murder scene.

You're just like see you later, come tomorrow with more info, like you would be arresting her, bringing her in for questioning, Like I don't know, Like I just don't.

That's pretty And also it's as easy as a phone call to the wife.

Do you have a housekeeper named Katya?

You know?

So back at the precinct.

The guys are all making jokes about Sonya being a sex worker.

Jeffries is saying sleeping her way to the top is the only way she knows.

And then suddenly Ken Briscoe is there too.

If you'll remember, Jerry Orbach's real life son plays Lenny Briscoe, who is I mean, plays Ken brisco who's Lenny Briscoe's nephew.

Lenny Brisco's nephew Ken, who's in a bunch of season one episodes.

And then I guess just didn't make an impression and they were like, Jerry, there's nothing else we could do.

Your son's not good.

So he gets he's not on the show anymore, but he goes so all Russian girls are whores, and it's like, yeah, nobody said that, Like they literally just said it's the only way of life they know.

And he's like, so they're all horrors, Like it's just crazy.

It feels like so much dialogue has been cut out or something in this episode, and Benson reminds them, like, guys, think about what these girls have been through, poverty, corruption, drunken abuse.

They learn they have to lie that their bodies their only asset, that sex is money, and Cassidy goes so by doing the right guy, they end up in the Forbes Ski five hundred, like such a dork.

He's such a dork.

Munch points out that Russia was actually jealous of the US during the Clinton Lewinsky scandal because they would say stuff like we wish we had such a virile president, Like they respected that he was hooking up with a twenty two year old in the Oval office.

You know.

Yeah, so Americans think it's just about being a whore.

The Russians know that there's always a little commerce involved in the art of love.

That's what Munch says, again another sort of thesis statement to this episode.

Jeffries hangs up the phone.

Guess what she's got more info?

The Harlan's housekeeper.

The Harlan's housekeeper, not out of town, not Russian, not named Katya, never works weekends.

Like not a detail is correct.

So now they have Sonya in cement room bars and like the fact that she didn't just disappear is crazy, Like she does not need to talk to the cops, Like and she denies knowing anything, and she's like, even if I could tell you, you wouldn't understand.

I see how you look at me, you look down at what I do for a living.

And it's fully a monologue.

This girl does not stop and let anyone talk for five minutes.

She goes, it's exciting to do something forbidden.

I'm with men who are breaking promises to their wives, and that excites them.

They come alive.

I make them come alive.

I'm their freedom.

The monologue's too much for me.

She's like, I'm so grateful.

I don't work in a spa or a salon.

My only commitment is to my friends.

And they assume she's talking about Katya.

I assume Katya is invented.

Like, I can't believe.

We're all like, there's got to be a Katya.

She invented a Katya.

She invented a cleaning lady named Katya.

I don't know why we think Katya is real.

And Sonya's like, look, I'm worried people will know.

I talk to the cops and they're like, well, where there's Katya again.

I don't know why we think that's a real person.

She's like, Katya lives with her boyfriend.

I live with my aunt.

And she goes, it affords me a certain.

It's like she does not speak like she just like doesn't speak like a real person to me, Like she goes it affords me a certain freedom.

Yes, like it's like a weird the way that anyway, she doesn't know who Katya is dating.

At the moment, Craigan walks in and tells Elliott, Hey, Emily Harlan is here to see you.

So now we're in wood room blinds and Emily is telling Elliott how her dad always fell in love really easily.

He loved being in love.

And she has a very babyish voice, and she looks familiar and I looked drop.

Her name is Alison Munn and she does play Fez's crazy girlfriend Caroline on that seventies show.

It's a very.

Distinct character because like every time Fez looks, this girl's like hi, Fez, like and it's this girl and she's I like her in that show.

So she's baby voice talking to I cannot tell how old she is here.

She's like, my dad left all these files for me, and so like.

She's helpful.

Yeah, she's like all that stuff my dad.

Did, like fucking a thousand women and men, was all a cry for help.

But my mom could never reach out to him.

It's like, Babe, I think it's a little bit more compulsive than that.

Like, I don't know, maybe you're sixteen.

I don't think you really understand that your mom's not the issue here.

But she says, She says her mom didn't really care about the affairs if they were with guys, but then when he fell in love with Katya, they started fighting constantly.

Her name is Katya Ivanova.

This could have been where we find out that Katya is a real person, Like this is like, okay, now this is a real person who's connected to this guy.

She is Russian.

My father said she's very beautiful.

Mom calls her his Russian whore.

And after my dad died, I got a bunch of papers.

Yeah, so clever literally after the fun nickname she came up with Russian.

Right.

Her dad had told her something happens to me.

I have all these papers in my office.

Go check out the papers.

And so she went and got the papers.

She's like, I didn't really find much, but one thing is interesting.

It looks like daddy was suing Katya for a lot.

Cut to Kraigan going, he's suing her for two million now, that's what I call a motive.

And that's apparently the.

Value of the gifts he gave her that she kept after their five month affair ended.

Now he broke it off forever, shut the fuck up.

You can't sue forgive me.

But also, this man is worth like one hundred million dollars.

I seriously doubt that he's going to sue a Russian woman who was his like for gifts, Like, I don't know, that doesn't like make sense in this man's world to me.

He's paying for random sailor preschool.

He's paying for probably bulldozer to get his head shots before he cut him off.

Like he's paying for all this shit.

I guess maybe her gifts were more valuable.

It just doesn't make a lot of sense to me.

But apparently like she kept all these gifts after their five month affair ended because he broke it off when he found out she was cheating in the apartment that he was paying for.

I don't know how they got all that information, but that they have all this information.

But the morning, isn't she like a sex worker?

Yes?

But these guys they they she convinced, is these guys that.

They that they're really in love with them, Like, yes, I'm a sex worker, but you I really love you, know.

So yeah, So the morning after he was killed Andrew Harlan, the lawsuit was dropped by Missus Harlan.

So they're like, well, it sounds like they were in cahoots.

They got to find Katya and missus Harlan might know where she is.

At the Harlan home.

Christina Harlan, that body is not even in the ground, and she is redecorating baby.

She's like, I always wanted to put a little Russian red in here.

I mean, she doesn't say Russian, she says red.

Oh.

She's like, I've always wanted to put more red in here.

And it's like, yeah, I bet you didn't want to do that while your husband was fucking a Russian woman, but now you're free to do what you.

Read remind me of mister big Oh.

Yes, I had a red accent wall in my New York apartment, one red wall.

I loved it.

But you know, it is kind of crazy.

So then they're asking her about the affair.

Why didn't you tell us You literally showed us an old timey or a frame of all the men He's fucked, and like, why aren't you telling us about Katya?

Like we think you're covering for her?

And she goes me covering for that little bitch?

How would you feel if your husband fell head over heels for a Russian whore?

And then she goes onto a monologue they're everywhere, These are Russian women sucking the men dry, not only their money but their sanity.

You never heard of the ultra Natasha's And I just like googled that because I was like, is that a thing?

But if you look up ultra Natasha, it's literally some woman's makeup line, So I don't know where that's coming from.

But she goes, did you know that Katya is Russian slang for one hundred dollars?

Is that true?

Not that I know of.

But I'm just like a girl.

You know, you're just a girl.

Okay.

My parents taught me the slang on what a you know, like a hooker's katya that were children, Like, I went, I knew a Katya?

Yeah, a fun name that I like, But I'm not I'm not putting it past.

The immediately thought it would be a fun tidbit to tell Katya the drag quen obviously, like you know she would.

She speaks Russian too.

Yeah.

So this woman, this woman, Christina Harlan, she does not like Russian.

Hole filthy.

They're so filthy.

Oh yeah, I don't know if anyone is more filthy.

Sometimes it comes on when I just turned the car on and the kids are there, I'm like, I got to turn this off.

They're literally talking about like gaping assholes.

I will not believe it.

So me in this comic, Caitlin, we're sitting at the cellar table big deal, guys.

So we're in the back and there's like people at the bar that I guess were at the earlier.

Show that Kaitlyn went up at.

We're sitting Suddenly this old man like like a meatball of a man, but like an Andrew Dice Clay vibe, like.

Just kind of a grease ball, a greaseball.

And he turns around, he looks at Kaitlin and goes, you have a good pussy or like what about that?

Something like insane, and and it's it's also not busy, so it's like pretty dead.

So everyone's kind of just like in shock.

And then he goes, ah, my daughter's mad.

I said that what what's the big deal.

She talked about it for like three hours and Caitlyn looks at me.

She goes, I did one joke.

It was my closer, she goes, and I know, I know it happens all the time, but it was crazy.

And then he came over.

I think his he goes, I understand it was material.

What I said was out of context, like it was, he goes, but then he goes.

But I you know, I was.

I grew up around the seventies and we said whatever we wanted.

And it's like you can, but like it's fucking weird.

Yeah you can, but people can hate you for it too.

Yeah.

To go up to someone and be like you got that good pussy, it was like so great, loud, like so nuts, Oh my.

God, not a not a freedom of speech, old grease ball coming up to you.

Because I'm sorry to mean too.

And she's like, oh, she was really nice.

I wonder if I would have been as nice.

I think I would have gone you.

I just went, like, my job truly dropped to this floor.

And I'm not a prude, I don't feel but I looked and I was just like I was shocked.

I was truly shocked.

That is shocking.

Yeah, yeah, Christina Harlan hates Katya hates Russian women, like she's like, no one else is fucking my husband except Russian women.

And it's like, I don't know, ma'am.

It seems like the little artist downtown not Russian.

She was fucking her husband for two weeks.

So Adam is there too, the sun and he's like, yesterday afternoon, my mom drove me to a poetry convention.

What what's a poetry convention?

Is that a thing?

I'm sure there forever?

I mean there's but like conventions are like to me specifically about commerce.

Usually like there could be poetry like like meet up send like conferences and stuff, but like a convention, people set up booths and what like sell their poetry.

Like, what is a poetry convention?

It's confusing to me.

But he's the one.

Somebody let me know.

I'm sure our listeners one of you who has been to a poetry convention.

And he's the one.

Uh, he goes, I'm the one that told my mom to drop the suit.

I didn't think she should keep it going.

And then we find out that he was paying for Katya's ten k a month, two bedroom apartment.

She doesn't know where it is.

Check with my lawyers.

She's already checked out of this conversation.

Okay, So now we go to Kragan and he's getting a phone call from an upset Russian woman and he can't understand what she's saying, so he puts her on the phone with Munch, who speaks a little Russian.

He says some shit in Russian, and then he goes, that was Sonya Petrovitch And it's like, you mean, the woman who just did a full monologue about the delicious power of helping men cheat on their wives.

She can suddenly only speak Russian, Like why she cannot get her thought across to picture k Reagan And so I think it's again an excuse for Munch to like speak some Russian on the show.

And she's upset.

She's in Brighton Beach.

Munch and Cassidy head out there.

They get to this Brighton Beach apartment complex.

There's a woman cleaning the stairs.

It's very like old world seeming like this woman just has like a mop and a bucket cleaning the stairs.

And then there's fucking bloody footprints on the ground going right up to the door of the apartment and they open it and Sonya is lying, they're dead, and her aunt I'm assuming because she said she lives with her aunt.

There's like an older woman dead.

They're both lying they're dead.

Bloody, Cassidy goes, I better tell Baboosh gotta stop washing the stairs.

I mean, it's like, what's happening.

Cassidy has all these like cheesy Russian jokes, but anyway, top of actory, Benson and Stablers show up.

Cassidy makes a gross comment about making love with a hatchet, and Munch is like, this is not sex related, and Munch talks to Sonya's male cousin who comes out.

He only speaks Russian.

He invites them to a bar to drink and talk.

They go, They ask them about Sonya's friends.

He actually happens to have a picture of his cousin Sonya and all her pals as you carry on you uh, and Katya is in the picture, okay, So he's like pointing out that's Katya, and he offers them some Borshe okay, but they've got to go, And that's the first time we've finally seen Katya, okay, and she does look a lot like Sonya.

It's like hard, why would they?

That was hard for me?

Yeah, And then at the precinct, Craigan is asking questions like okay, so one victim strangled a two acts to death.

But why Sonya?

Why the aunt?

And they're like, well, Sonya called and sounded nervous, and then in barges in this guy out of nowhere and he's like Benson Stobbler, Like that made me laugh?

How he says Stobbler and he's like, I have information for you.

So now he's in cement room bars, pouring his heart out to Benson and Stabler and talking about his scumbag dad who constantly cheated on his mind.

This is like the most sickening thing.

I hate this.

I hate He's like my dad cheated on my mom in the same room as her, constantly treated her like shit.

She was devoted to him through it all.

She went with him to Siberia.

That's real love.

It's like that's indentured servitude, Like that's slavery essentially, Like she probably couldn't go anywhere else, your fucking mom.

And then he's like that's real love.

So it's like, why is this man just like randomly talking about like your.

Wife, like.

The room like it is.

I don't know why you're not more mad at your dad, Like that's crazy.

Well it's like this.

Yeah, it's like classic gross, like men can be as bad as they want and women are only virtuous if they sit through all of it.

And he's like, you're trying to blame Katya, but I won't let you.

And this actor is named Olek Krupa.

He's Polish.

He's in a million things.

He's he's Victor Zukov, the general in the Americans.

So I think he plays a Russian guy a lot, but he is Polish.

And he confesses right there to the cops that he killed Andrew.

He said, I killed him for treating Katya like that.

My name is Alexander streets Off strews Off and and he brought Katya to the US, he arranged everything.

She's like family to him.

He loves her so much and he is devoted to her.

And when Andrew sued her, he saw her pain and he had to end it.

And it's like her pain, like she could have just given back the gifts.

I mean, if it's really gonna be a lawsuit that you're gonna lose the gifts could just go back right, like, it's not life or death.

I just don't trust this guy.

I don't get what's happening.

And this is where the show really goes off the rails.

For me, it goes off the It's really hard for me.

I can't I don't know.

This episode gets so fucking nuts.

So then he lights a cigarette.

He starts smoking a cigarette, stablers like stop and then he just like chokes down a couple more puffs before he puts it away.

And then he says, I shot Andrew and they're like, yeah, bro, he wasn't shot, and he's like, shot, not shot?

Who cares?

I did it?

I killed him like a dog.

And then he says.

He says he knows Sonya when they ask do you know Sonya and he goes yeah, and they're like did you know she was murdered this morning?

And he's like no, oh no, how tragic, and he says, well, I didn't kill Sonya, but I killed Andrew.

Okay whatever.

In a walk and Talk with Craigan, the gang is discussing why is this dude confessing when he obviously didn't do it.

He's in love with Katya she's not into him.

Maybe he thinks that confession will win her over.

Hope.

Sometimes that's all love is.

They say, let's go find this Katya, but like Benson keeps saying Katya, Katya the way she says it.

But next scene is an Upper east Side doorman and you know Upper east Side doorman's love a Katya.

Okay.

He's like, oh, she's beautiful, she's a nice, honest girl, big tipper and he recognizes a picture of Andrew Harlan.

He's here all the time and he's a really big tipper, but I haven't seen him in a few weeks.

And he tells them Katya left an hour ago, dressed up in a beautiful gown, and they're like, well, which way did the cab go?

As if they're gonna be able to track her down by northeast southwest and they're like, cab she takes a car service and he goes five five five oh one zero zero, the easiest number to remember.

I don't know why, uh, And so I guess through the car service we've tracked her down.

She's at the Peninsula Hotel.

Uh.

And that's like near penn Station, right.

Benson and Stabler tracked down Katya.

She's holding a cigarette giving the cops a slutty grin as they approach her, Like she is really looking unbothered and horny.

Okay.

They're asking her about her affair with Harlan and she.

Immediately asked She immediately asked, stabler, are you attracted to me?

Do you want to make love to me?

It's so weird, like why are you being so sexual to this random cop?

But I guess they're trying to say in Russia, that's what you do.

But he's like, uh, why don't you just answer my questions?

And she's like, why don't you answer mine first?

And he's like, well, what's that gonna cost me?

And she's like, you're a broke ass cop, you cannot afford me.

I think she's honestly like, I actually just like think you're hot and would fuck you, but I know you're not gonna give me anything I need.

She wants to know if oh, who sent you his wife Christina?

And then they tell her about Sonya, like did you know Sonya's dead?

And she goes, I know.

I'm very sad.

She was a good friend, but I have to move on with my life.

It's been hours.

Okay, it's been hours since Sonya was brutally hatcheted to death in her apartment.

And she's like, you know, I'm so sad, but I had to get dressed and come to this party.

And she's like, I don't know what.

Who would want to kill her?

She was innocent?

And they're like, well, you need to come with us, and she's like, well, am I under arrest.

I do respect her for knowing her rights.

And they're like, well no, and she goes, well then I say no, and Benson goes, well, you better get your ass down to the precinct tomorrow morning and wear sweats because it's going to take a long time.

And she goes, I'm too busy, and she's I fucking stabler like the whole time, and Benson's over this shit.

She's like, babe, nine am, you're down at our office or immigration's at your house by nine oh five, and she goes, this is America.

You can't do this.

Lol.

They absolutely can and do, and Benson goes, hate to break it to you, but cops are the same everywhere.

And Katya's like, okay, but can we make it noon.

I'm not a morning person.

They really are giving her a lot of leeway, a lot of time away.

She goes, I might not even be home by nine.

It's like, okay, babe, if you've got to meet with the cops in the morning, maybe call it a night early, you know.

Now we're in wood room blinds.

The next day with Katya and she's back on her bullshit, trying to smoke a cigarette in the room and then she's like, well, then I'm gonna go if I can't smoke, because I can't talk without smoking, And Sabler puts out her butt in a coffee cup and moves on with the questions, and she's still.

Flirting with him.

Are you married?

And they ask about Alexander, who is this guy who confessed and she's like, oh, he's a nice man, good heart, very generous, and they're like, well he confessed to Andrew's murder, and she goes, oh, yeah, he's always had a bad temper.

She's just like moving with the story, you know, like whatever wherever the wind takes her, she's going for it.

And they tell her, well, he actually didn't do it, and we found your fingerprint and Sonya's fingerprint, and she goes, well, I wore gloves and they're like, okay, so you admit that you were there, and she goes, yeah, I didn't want to break a nail on all that BDSM gear.

She's says, me and Sonya went to Andrew's house to tease him.

No one gets away with treating me like he did.

I let him tie me up so many times.

And then he sues me he appreciated nothing I did for him.

So they're like, yeah, but you cheated on him, right, and he goes, I cheated on him.

He I found him in bed with two men.

And it's like, okay, so he cheated on you and then sued you for the two million dollars.

Like none of this is like making sense to me, And then she goes, I thought he was moamous exactly.

So then if he's gonna give two million dollars worth of gifts, I don't think he's expecting anything in return, like expecting them back if they don't get married, you know what I mean.

But it's confusing because then the daughters like, he really fell in love with Katya, So what is it, Like does this guy hate monogamy or does Katya have something that he really fell in love with like, I don't know, but either way, you went to the home of a man who was suing you, so he's obviously mad at you and you're mad at him, and you, guys are just gonna he likes sex that much and he's just gonna still fuck around.

Maybe maybe, yeah, for sure.

Yeah.

So they're like, why did you bring Sonia and she goes, sometimes, we did threesome.

You should try it.

It's fun, and then she goes, I'm not lesbian.

Neither is Sonya.

She admired me.

She was very feminine.

But two men yet, so she's finding time to be homophobic, like she can't.

She's like, yes, I'll do a threesome, but two men with my sugar daddy's not okay with me.

And they're like, well, yeah, you weren't.

You weren't really crying.

Over his death, and she's like, I need to be stable in my life, so I have to sleep with men like him, then I can be free to fall in love without a business interest and okay.

So after they were done teasing Andrew quote unquote, she went to hear Sonya sing and meet a friend, she said, and they're like, okay, did you put the banana up Andrew's ass, and she goes, yes, he's allergic to bananas.

But if that killed him, it was an honest mistake.

It's bizarre, like you left him chained up there with a banana up his ass, which would have like tortured him because he would have gotten hives all over.

But then his wife was out of town, like he was just gonna like sit there the whole weekend, like tied tied to in all of his BDSM gear, like I don't know what's happening.

So now they're in Kragan's office and he's spiraling.

He's like, cabaret spas, salons, rich boyfriends, hookers, what's going on?

And then he's He's like maybe it's the Russian mob And Benson's like, yeah, but what is the big deal about this Katya girl?

Like this guy was so rich he could have had anyone like why her?

You know, like he could have honestly probably stayed with Becky the art girl and brought her around to all his little parties and been like how hot is it that I'm fucking this twenty four year old artist that used to be my son's girlfriend.

But that is the pro Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, you can't fin and that's true.

Yeah, there's no, there's no you cannot fake experience.

So true.

So Stabler goes, well, maybe the girlfriend of a Russian mobster has a certain Juni se qua and then they like all start joking about French it's boring.

And then Craigan goes go back to the place where Sonya was a singer and find out what her boyfriend, the owner's deal is.

Okay, this guy Victor.

Okay.

Back at Moscow restaurants, where there's so many locations in the early seasons too, they're like going here and there, Like they go all the way to her apartment just to talk to a doorman so he can go She's not here, you know, Like it's like they do.

So many locations.

So back at Moscow, the bartender goes, poor, poor Sonya, what can I get you to drink?

Like everyone is very Russian about this.

They're just like, let's move on, like we were not talking about the dead girl, what do you.

Let's get a drink.

In you, okay, and then a guy walks up to Benson and Stabler and goes, please join me, and they're like sure, So they go back to the back of the place where the gross guy from the hot tub earlier is sitting at a table.

I'm guessing this is Victor, the guy who also owns the club, right, we didn't know his name was Victor before.

He's like never been identified as Victor.

Anyway, this is Victor, I guess.

And he's sitting at the table.

He's showing away his two arm hotties.

He's got like fuck you and fuck me from fucking to awesome powers these two girls on the side of him, and then the guy who brings them back there will only allow Stabler to approach the table.

So very orthodox Jewish, but like why originally, Like.

Only only women can talk to women, only men can talk to men is what we're like getting here in this episode.

So the guy immediately starts lamenting Sonya's death.

He goes, oh, my wife liked Sonya so much?

Is it one of those girls?

Probably not, uh she my wife loved to listen to her sing, And then he's bullshitting stable about life is about choices, blah blah blah, and eventually he brings up Alexander Strewsaw or whatever.

He tries to make it seem like Alexander is a beat guy.

Victor tries to make it seem like Alexander's a bad guy, but there's no proof.

He's like, what proof?

What do you mean proof?

I'm just having a friendly conversation.

I work for the airline business, which is like very mafia coded, like I'm in I'm in waste management.

You know, Like you work in the airline business.

Okay, are you're a sex trafficker?

Like I don't, I don't understand, Like what airline do you work for?

TSA?

What is it?

So?

Now, Cassidy and Munch are on the boardwalk at Brighton Beach talking to people when they run into Sonya's male cousin, the drunk the guy from earlier that wanted to go drink with them and offer them the borsch.

He's now wasted and speaks English, and Munch and Cassidy are pissed.

They're like, now you speak fucking English And the guy's like when I'm only when I'm drunk I can speak English.

But he's like very good at it, like he speaks perfectly good English.

And the guy starts telling them and he's hammered, who my dad, Oh he does yeah.

One hundred percent.

We're like, why are you speaking English?

Like we all understand you, but yeah, so funny.

How good is he the truth?

It's a mess.

How good is he drunk?

I don't know.

I guess it's been a while.

It's been a while.

I would say I was always super fluent in Italian when I was drunk, because you just don't have the self consciousness.

You're just like, so I'm fucking up a verb or a pronoun here or there.

Let's keep going, you know, we're having fun.

And people would always be like, you speak great Italian.

I'd be like, I'm wasted, you know.

But Cassidy and Munch are talking to this guy and he's like, oh, I heard about I heard Alex and Sonya having sex that day with spanking, and then I thought that's okay, and then it turned into screaming and murder and then he goes, you losers, you are more stupid than my ass to Munch in Cassidy, which you know, okay.

So you're writing this script like what's the point of this character.

There's so many characters that are like, what's so hard?

One of the hardest episodes, and I feel like they're trying to do a movie, but I don't know, it's really hard.

It's a hard one.

It's so it just keeps being like and it's like, oh, this character Alexander, he just walks in and act three and he's actually a huge part of it.

Like it's just weird the way that it structured.

Also, this episode is like all order or like no law, Like there's no it's all the cops and none of the court.

So yeah, anyway, now Stabler is back taking another run at Katya.

I don't know if it's the same fucking day or a different day or whatever.

But they tell her we think Alex killed Sonya and Andrew, but we don't really know why.

They ask Katya, did you know Sonya and Alex were fucking?

And she goes, so, maybe she wasn't as good in bed as me, but that's no reason to kill her.

I mean, this woman finding a way to like.

Brag about her sexual prowess while talking about her murdered friend is wild.

Katya is unable to speak to Stabler without flirting and being seductive, like she just can't like look at him without like giving him bedroomise, and Benson interrupts and is like, can I speak to her alone for a minute.

So it's like, we got to clear the room.

We got to clear the testosterone out of the room because she cannot function while there's a penis in the room.

Okay, And so Stabler leaves and Benson tells her, bitch, do you know how easy it would be to convict you.

You admit being there, your fingerprints are there, there was a lawsuit against you from him.

It's a no brainer to prove you guilty.

And she goes, but I am not guilty, and they're like, so help us catch Alex and she goes, I'm busy, and they're like, okay, so you don't feel any fear or guilt or are you just a sex machine with a cash register between your legs.

Benson says to her, wow.

Okay, and then she goes, or maybe you're just too scared to get involved, and Katya is like, bingo, bitch, I'm in a war and I want to survive, some die, some win.

No one helps anyone, which is interesting because Sonya's thing was I only help my friends, like I gotta rely on my friends, like they're all I have in this world.

And she ends up fucking dead, and this woman's like, no one helps you like you look out for you.

You're the bottom line.

She goes, alex is upset about, like why won't fuck him anymore?

And they're like, well, why won't you, like because you have to like go work on your nails.

You make a living sleeping with men, Like why not sleep with him?

And she goes, you should sleep with more men.

It would help you.

You wouldn't be such a mean bitch, is what Katya says.

To stay to Benson.

And then she goes, I catch.

Murderers for a living, so we're not so different from Russia, especially the prisons.

No Champagne, no caviat and Katya goes, I don't believe you, and Benson's like I'm done.

She gets up, pulls Katya up to arrest her, puts her hand behind her back.

We do notice that Katya's shirt has one working button and it's doing a lot of work.

It's struggling hard to keep it together.

Katya folds and is like okay, okay, just like I'll talk just this once, and then she goes, I guess I'm in the mood for horse Radish vodka, and Benson's like what as am I?

And she goes at the restaurant, Alex hangs out at my favorite vodka is horse Radish?

What is happening?

So now back at the somehow this is like her in code saying I'm going to go undercover for you.

I guess.

So we're at the Moscow restaurant.

She's flirting with Alex.

They're pawing at each other at the bar.

The cops are listening in a van.

Okay, she's obviously wired up.

They did they get a translator to translate their conversation or did they just rely on Munch as like semester of college Russian from forty years ago?

It's the second one.

They can kind of hear what they're saying, but they Munch doesn't know a lot of what they're talking about.

And then he just hears Alex say I should.

Just get it over with now, and so they're like, uh, fuck, move in.

So Alex has a gun.

All the cops are in the restaurant, gun's drawn on him, but he's got a gun, and he's like, I'm not going to hurt anyone.

He empties all the bullets out of his gun except for one Russian roulette right, spins the chamber and points it at himself.

How I love games?

Yeah, yeah, this gay, This is a wild game.

I love roulette regular And he tells he's like, I'm going to tell you a Russian love poem.

You can listen, or you can just shoot me.

And I don't know why they don't just shoot him to maim him, Like don't they learn how to shoot to mame, Like shoot someone in the leg, shoot someone in the arm.

Like I don't keep shooting at you, Like maybe it's like you know what I mean, Like, if they they're going to shoot at you, that's true.

Gun and it has one bullet, but he's pointing.

At himself, that's true.

I guess he could have turned it off.

Maybe he wanted, you know, death by a cop.

Yeah, So he tells them I brought Katya here.

I loved her.

I did everything for her.

I wanted to marry her, but she betrayed me.

And he brings up his mother's blind devotion to the ass.

Why don't you have blind devotion towards her?

Let her cheat on you?

If he's the man, he's the man, that's what women do.

Fucking loser.

So he keeps pulling the trigger of the gun as this story is going on, but he's getting the empty rounds.

Okay, he goes.

I went into the home after the girls tied up Andrew, and I strangled him to death with a rope.

I wanted to teach Katya a lesson, make her pay and respect me.

What why does that make her pay?

She literally doesn't have to pay back this two million dollar lawsuit now and she can move on and find her next guy.

I guess murdering somebody's like, but they weren't together anymore, so it's not like she's a meal ticket anymore.

Also, you broke.

Into a townhouse, you follow like I don't know, like they left him like lying there, tied up.

I don't actually believe this is what happened.

I'll tell my thoughts at the end, which is getting close.

I told Sonya sometimes you make stupid mistakes.

I didn't want to kill her, but I could kill her because I didn't love her.

I told the aunt to go to the store, but it was closed and she came back too soon.

Again the why are you killing Sonya?

Sonya barely says anything.

She doesn't tell anything, like she's not given up anything to the cops, Like, I guess I know that Russian mafia people like kill people even for speaking to the cops at all, but in this case, it's like, I don't even know what this guy's deal is.

Is he in the Russian mob or is he just obsessed with Katya?

This episode is insane.

And he's like, I just wanted to be happy to live with Katya in America.

But she hurt me.

No one hurts me, not even this gun.

See how lucky I am.

And then we hear a gunshot and he goes down.

And now we cut to the boardwalk and Benson and Stabler are leaning against the railing and they're looking kind of shook about the whole thing.

And then Ben Sabler goes, let's get out of here, and then they start to walk off and they head home, and then they have this whole conversation where it's just the back of them, which feels like it's an adr.

Thing or something that they added in, and.

Benson goes, some people consider death a blessing, that this was not.

This was no blessing, and Stabler's like, what a mess.

And then Benson goes blowing people's heads off because of some vodka induced third rate notion of tragedy.

No one's had got blown off in the whole episode, no one's had got blown off.

Not one head was blown off.

Stabler goes, it's a lot of crap, and for this they come to America and that's dick wolfbaby.

I just have like so many.

Questions, like if he's really confessing, why would he confess the wrong way?

Because I think Katya did kill Andrew and that she he is covering for her.

Yeah, and that when he killed himself it stops the investigation because he confessed.

He says, I strangled him, I snuck in.

Now he knows, he knows the modus operanda, like now he knows the MO.

So maybe they that saves Katyas.

Maybe it's this final act of love for Katya that he does this, and then he kills Sonya because Sonya could have turned on her son.

We had to get rid of Sonya because if Sonya was there for the murder, she could have eventually turned.

He was getting rid of all witnesses and then he killed I think that has to kind of be what happened, because why else would you come in give the wrong confession, say you killed him but not the right way.

Like, listen, Katya is great, why are you killing Sonya?

It's like killing it.

Katya is the top Russian horror of Yeah, the people are just killing themselves and others.

Yeah, and that guy Victor is also kind of trying to like frame Alex and they're a bad guy.

I like, this is like the craziest episode.

The men are all drunks and look alike, the women are all blonde and look alike.

Like, I don't understand why they couldn't get different looking guys and girls.

It's crazy.

It is crazy, but I mean a wild episode.

It feels like it was back when they were probably just trying to be really ambitious on the show and do a lot of like crazy plots, because it just feels like, Wow, you guys did a little bit too much.

You know what.

I would have loved.

I would have loved if it really did.

Turn out that the wife and Katya were in cahoots and they like that, like all her shit about Russian women was kind of bullshit and she was lying and that really she was like, yeah, we just got rid of him so that we could all get more money.

And you know, he's a compulsive sex freak and we just not to kink shame anyone.

But that's what his wife thought about him.

Yeah.

Anyway, let's get to the crime because I'm excited.

This is the case of a man named Lance Herndon, and he was an Atlanta computer consulting businessman, millionaire and he was he was Okay, so I started doing an accent.

Oh my god, so russious.

And oh, by the way, the woman that plays what did you think of the accents?

Because the woman that plays Katya American, but he had a sort of Russian sounding last name, so I might have like Russian heritage but was born.

In the US.

And then I think the woman that played Sonya is Russian, but I looked her up.

It's overly hard.

It's none of it sounds smooth.

Yeah, especially when they're speaking in monologue weird English.

Of it sounds great.

But I'm thrilled to be a part of it.

Yeah.

So, and Lance was found dead and there was no shortage of suspects who might have wanted him dead.

Done done, Okay.

So it was actually Roswell, Georgia, and it's like an upper class suburb and he had a house there just north of Atlanta.

He was very successful.

He was appointed by President Clinton to the nineteen ninety five White House Conference on Small Businesses.

So he was successful.

And then August ninth, nineteen ninety six, he was found bludgeoned to death at his home at the age of forty one.

A single non fatal blow to the back of his head that possibly disoriented him, and then multiple blows to the front and right side of his face that crushed all his facial bones inward and did cause his dad.

Oh god, that's really forceful.

Yeah.

So basically one of his employees, so he was a hard worker, and he usually is in the office by five am, up and working, and he operated from his house often.

And so one of his employees, Holly Stuber, went into his property because she's like, it's eight am.

Where the fuck is he?

He's not answering his pages nineteen ninety six and there's nothing on his caliber is blowing up.

I'm yeah, beeper so fucking cool.

I want the bubblegum beeper.

Do you remember those?

Like the clear beepers and the gum was in it with the gum.

I wonder if I could buy that okay, So around bab, I don't fuck with eBay.

I bought a printer or I bought a VCR.

It wasn't good.

So it's that's it.

Oh yeah, I don't trust the games they play there.

It's not for me.

I like things to like come into my life in a chill manner.

I'm an Etsy girl.

Yeah.

Etsy's for girls, Ebays for boys.

That's so how I feel.

That's that.

So it's ten am and his mother arrives as well, and she, like she always does, she helps with the business, but he's not downstairs, so she goes upstairs.

She finds him in his bedroom.

It is a waterbed, there's blood spatter on the walls, he's unresponsive, he's naked, there's porn in the VCR, and his death unfortunately kind of sullied his successful reputation.

He was known as the celebrity entrepreneur like a Great Gatsby vibe, and then with the porn, naked lots of girlfriends, it kind of like his public you know, it overshadowed his public and professional image.

So the theories were like it could be business rivals or one of his many girlfriends.

And around town he was known as a woman iSER, and this is according to be Et.

And he was married and divorced three times, and at the time of the murder, he was involved with about half a dozen women, and that's according to the Tampa Bay Times.

So he's just like out and about fucking.

He's hot, he's rich, good to his mother, you know what I mean.

He's generous, he's letting people drive Mercedes Mercedes like he's living the life worth millions, on the cutting edge of technology, giant clients.

So I was confused because this crime is salacious enough that like, but there was more articles about press for the dateline coming out, or the original two part movie Love and Murder Atlanta, Playboy, or an Oxygen episode like the Real Murders of Atlanta.

So there's all these shows but not a lot of news articles.

And then there's also a book written on it called Redbone, Money, Malice and Murder in Atlanta.

And all the articles for a while were like teasing.

They were like, oh, all the there would be like they would ask spicy questions and then all the links are dead.

You can't find anything streaming.

One of them was like gum wrappers in the wrench that tie the story together and then I'm like, where is the information?

And then I understood why, and this is why I think AI is bad.

And it's proof because I wonder if a I would have figured this out.

But it happened days within the nineteen ninety six Atlanta Olympic bombing, so it just kind of fell under in the news, like there was such bombing at the Olympics in the city, and we've covered a few crimes like that, where like they just didn't get attention during the and got overshadowed by other, like really big cases.

That's crazy because that was Matt.

I mean that was like huge, yeah, of course, and you know what, that seemed so big, but I'm like, no one ever even really thinks about it.

And it was a full bombing at the Olympics in Atlanta, Like what the fuck?

And that I mean they just that That movie just came out with Paul walter Hauser that I didn't get to see.

But I do like him, Like you just said, just I bet it was six years ago Google when it came out.

No, he was just nominated for a.

Maybe I'm wrong, but I feel like it was a decade ago, oh twenty nineteen.

You're right six years ago.

Fuck yeah, exactly six years ago.

I someone was just talking about him on a podcast about him getting nominated.

I got a mistaken movie grid.

There was a TV grid and for greta Lee TV show of three, inciting me.

Schumer didn't count.

So I emailed them going, hey, boys, excuse me, and they went, sorry, are bad Our TV database isn't as good.

I go, no worries, just making sure you're on top of it.

You could reset my puzzle, thank you.

So yeah, so, and it is, you know.

And it is also an interesting case because it's referred to as like black Mecca, and that's according to Ron Stodgehill.

And he's the author of the book that I mentioned earlier, and he researched this case for three years and he's like, yeah, it was a black millionaire, black prosecutor and black DA and it was unique and he had just had a lot of fascination with the case.

And Clint Rucker, who is the prosecutor of the case and then retired eventually as an executive DA and he comes in later, but he worked at the DA's office for twenty six years.

Fun fact, his first trial partner Nancy Grace.

Nancy Grace so pretty wow.

And then he did the classic.

He became a private defense attorney.

It seems like that's what everyone does.

That's like Luigi's lawyer.

Like, I think she worked twenty seven years and then switched on over.

I think they get really high in the DA's office and then they're like, I'm gonna get rich.

Now I'm gonna go get rid.

Yeah, Nancy Grace, dide you you are a top mom.

That brisen Lee let her toddler die.

Oh my god, my sister and I love talking to each other in a Nancy Graces voice.

I just enjoyed listening to it.

He handled about one hundred and fifty homicides, but he come okay, So he said, this case has everything.

He's like stuff on, it's got sex, it's got power, it's got lies, and was a who done it for a long time.

And that's according to the Atlanta Journal Constitution.

I don't know what that is.

So like I said, really hard to fight, Okay.

So police said there was no fourth century and it did not appear that anything had been stolen.

There were no weapons found at the scene, no fingerprints, no witnesses, but then one of his lovers ended up incriminating herself two years later in her divorce proceedings in nineteen ninety eight.

So January nineteen ninety eight, she mentions that she spoke to her mother in law, Barbara Nelson, a few weeks after the murder, and during that conversation, she admitted to this mother in law that she had been to Lance's home on the night he was killed, even though she told the cops she was not there.

So that was kind of the smoking gun they needed.

And they had interviewed her.

They've interviewed a lot of people.

They were suspicious of her, but they didn't have the evidence.

So dion Bas was a Jamaican immigrant and she was pissed at Lance.

Herndon he and there's a lot there's a few different theories and reasons and it could be all of them.

So he refused to appear in court to ask for the charges against her that he pressed earlier for trespassing at his home.

She was he was like, yeah, I'll come to court and like clear your shit up, and then he did not go to court.

She also saw him with another woman and got fucking pissed, and then he had friends claim that he was telling them like, I need to get rid of her.

She's obsessive and controlling, Like I do not like her vibe.

And so after they like kind of broke up, she was arrested for criminal trespass outside his home a month earlier, and the court date for the charges was the day the victim was found dead.

Okay, So basically she's one of the girlfriends.

She's like, she sees him with another woman and she's fucking pissed, so she tries to trespass.

He presses charges and she's like, come on, stop that come to court and cleared this up.

And he doesn't come to court and then he's found dead.

Wow yeah okay, So and then some sources say that like she also was super pissed that he wouldn't like fuck her anymore, like she wanted she just wanted it, but she also got a lot of perks and stuff.

The DA also claimed that she was pissed because he asked for his car and credit card back.

She also did have a husband and son back in Jamaica, and basically she also started dating him like in a very Hilaria Baldwin way, like she forced her way into like faked and like a invite to his birthday and got to his party and like wanted his ass because he is like, you know, rich and hot and like nicely, he said.

The evidence they eventually did find, but it all ended up being circumstantial and it was like a hard trial, so they well, not really, it's.

Not circumstantial at all.

Okay, listen.

So they found a bloody pillow case stuffed into the toilet in the master bathroom, so like pretty clear his outfit from the night before gone.

All his alarm clocks and phones were unplugged because he woke up so fucking early and the business was run out of his home, so if the alarms were all going off, it would be suspicious.

That means the person who did it knew his schedule to unplug all of the alarm clocks.

He loved getting up early.

He was in the office at five am.

Yeah, like yeah, this wild guy.

So then Lance's housekeeper also helped identify that when she left there was a wrench on the kitchen counter before his death, and then it had been missing since the attack, so it could be the possible weapon.

The emmy testified that the wrench could have inflicted the fatal blows.

Also, there was DNA found under his fingernails.

There was also two headhairs and one pubic hair that was lifted from the victim's nude body, and the blood spatter analysts testified that the assailant was on the bed, possibly straddling the victim at the time the wounds were inflicted, so who so in her person?

They also found all these documents that were waiting for Lance to sign them.

One was that she got to keep the card that he bought her and like also a summary of the criminal trespass charge she wanted him to drop a laptop computer was missing from his office that was found on her, and she was also using his credit card to purchase furniture the day he was found dead, like evil bitch.

And even though a lot of the evidence is circumstantial, they say, because of case law, like I don't even know, it seems sufficient to me even if it's circumstantial, I guess the jury can show, like show that the reasonable reasonableness with the evidence that like every other reasonable hypothesis is excluded.

So like if you can show, like I guess beyond a reasonable doubt is the thing.

But I guess if all reason excludes everyone else, the jury can conn.

It is just I mean, it's it's hard because it's circumstantial in the sense that like, yeah, they were fucking, and he did give her a credit card, so like sure, like if she's using it the day he's killed, she was using it the day before he was in the day, you know, like and like even if her DNA is on him, they were fucking, So yeah, I don't know, Yeah, how you Yeah, you'd have to just like there'd have to be footage of like her car on his street at that time or you know what I mean, like at the exact time of death.

Like you have to really do your fucking police work.

And they did.

I mean, it did take a while, but they kept tabs on her, and one time they went to her place to ask her questions and she didn't answer, so they went to the neighbor's house, and then the neighbor reported that the moment the cops drove away, she like ran to her house to get the scoop and then she claimed she was in the shower, and the neighbor goes, no, she was in a business suit with dry hair and a full beat of makeup, so absolutely not so no bitch sit by the beat.

And then when cops finally met up with her, she acted like she'd just found out that he had died and went hysterical, so like not like them all, not like the wife in the episode.

But ye, this bitch like was hysterical, but no real tears were produced, is what is reported.

So then February third, nineteen ninety eight, she's indicted of malice murder, felony murder, aggravated assault, theft by taking a laptop, theft by taking jewelry off his body, and card fraud.

This went to trial from April ninth, two thousand and one, to April seventeenth, when the jury came back with guilty on all counts.

On April twentieth, she was sentenced to life in jail on the malice murder conviction, and then concurrently five year sentence for theft and concurrent to year sentence for the financial card fraud charge as well.

She got concurrent, but the DA did ask for consecutive because she had no remorse.

She did not care.

Her attitude the whole trial was like bored as fuck, like no emotion, did not give a fuck nothing nothing in life in prison, like nothing given nothing.

During the sentencing, I did watch the court TV and basically this is like a side thing, but I found it interesting and that they tried to get a mistrial, and so I watched that hearing.

So like, basically it was about the bar standing of the prosecution during the case.

He did not pay his two thousand to two thousand and one bar dues and so he was in bad standing for eight months and that was during the time of the trial, so he was not authorized to try the case.

And the prosecution said that he knew because they sent letters and like all this stuff.

But it's like I barely pay my sag dues like they have to.

Like like I've been on sets where they're like you have to call and pay right now or you cannot step on the set, like and the judges reaming him out, and I'm like, I don't know what I would do.

I'd be like sometimes I just like the panic of life, like I don't know what you want from me.

I don't like to do my errands, but like this all could have fucked everything up.

Yeah, and so the letter, but the letter, there were letters sent and voicemails, but they said that the voicemail was just to the general DA and he didn't get it.

He also had a check bounce in ninety nine and he went in person to pay it.

So he just has like trouble with the bar stuff.

But he wasn't disbarred and there was no disciplinary action, and so the lawyer and then the lawyer really barred.

But this woman and she goes, see, you're not a lawyer, right, all you care about is dues and administrative tasks.

Is that it like it was incredible, and so he wasn't suspended or disbarred.

You have a year so you could practice law.

So they fought it, but the mistrial didn't work.

I mean they tried, but like the judge was fine with it, but he was like, what the fuck, I've been paying dues for twenty eight years, what's your problem?

Like I would die on the stand.

Clint said, I'm embarrassed.

I have no excuse.

It should have been on it.

It won't happen again, my bad.

So sorry if this is too much of an offshoot, but it is just like an.

Administrative I mean I get, but I mean, good lawyers, if you're lawyer.

Yeah, that's a good lawyer.

I'm looking for any hole.

Yeah, it's a good fucking lawyer.

But anyways, but they're like, listen, it didn't make anything unfair for the trial, you know, so like you're reaching and the judge is like, I'm pissed, but I'm moving on with it.

So she did get life.

She blanked no emotion.

On July tenth, two thousand and three, she went to court to appeal the conviction and it ended up being reversed because of the circumstantial stuff and credibility.

But it all actually went to an improper bolstering of the state's witnesses and so basically there was like contradictory information and the testimony from one police officer was found inadmissible.

So the judge had to reverse it because the cop on the stand fucked up, and so then they did a second trial, but then the jury was deadlocked, so then they did a third trial and she was like, I'll just plead out.

So she pled guilty to voluntary manslaughter in September twenty seventh, two thousand and four, and was sentenced to ten years.

I don't think that's enough, and then she was released in July twenty eleven and then ten years probation.

I think she's like the luckiest murderer of all time.

I think she will kill again.

She has no remorse, and I don't understand why she's not serving life.

She took jewelry off a dead body of a man she bludgeoned.

I mean it also wasn't like, oh, I'm not at you with like an oopsie.

It's like, UK, you caved his face in.

It's psycho.

Lance is survived by his son, Harrison, who is five when he last saw his father alive, and he said he loves what.

Harrison, Yeah, five when he last saw his father alive.

Okay, yeah, that's a dexter reference to those who aren't hip to it, but yeah, he He's like, it's a guidepost for how I live my life, is what I hear about my dad.

And then I thought I would leave us on.

Some nice things about Lance and like so his friends and family spoke about him for Dateline that he nurtured relationships intentionally with a lot of war, that he was quirky, personable, loved people, loved to entertain, sense the humor, open, optimistic, had the world at his fingertips and was encouraging, sharp, warm, authentic, handsome, and it was a big gift giver and thought about gifts all year long, and had databases for all of his clients and notes on preferences and all important dates, and sent gifts out all the time.

Love language always encouraged.

Now, listen, I don't think we can be I guess, as Matt at Andrew Harlan, just because he liked to fuck around a lot, you don't deserve to get murdered.

You know.

At the beginning of this series, I feel like there was a lot of like, well, if he had kept it in his pants, he'd still be alive, kind of a messaging on the show.

And I think it's like, look at Lance.

He was an accomplished businessman and like a big deal in his community, and he fucked with the wrong woman.

Damn yeah, Dion, Dion crazy.

Okay, all right, well we don't have a guest today, so let's just dive right into that post mortem.

Listen, Kara, I'll say you did an incredible job.

What happened?

I have no idea?

Still, I don't know.

This episode will never penetrate my brain.

I will never learn it and I will never know what's going on.

And I speak the language I speak.

Yeah, Like, if anything, this is like for you, it's truly like, I wait.

I just had a thought that jumped into my head that has nothing to do with what we're talking about.

And I really apologize.

But I had a traditional Sunday roast in London and I was really happy.

Ooh, you don't even eat me.

I don't even know what that is.

But that sounds like a cultural experience.

How exciting?

Yes, but I digress.

Yeah, Russian love post.

Oh.

I thought it was in seeing that this first of all, the show is so into fucking Russia in the first twelve seasons, like they talk about Russia so much.

There's so much Russian mob, Russian.

Like all these problems, like people with Russian or mail order brides, like all this stuff.

And this is the first one and it just feels like season one, twelfth episode, straight out the gate, they're like, let's attack Russian culture.

Let's get to the not attack in a bad way.

I mean like let's like really roote, get down, drill down on what motivates Russian people.

When they come to the US.

And it's like blonde women just fucking their way to the top so they can have some kind of power, and they look the same.

But then this.

Random guy comes out of nowhere and is like, I did it.

Just kidding, but yes I did.

Like this episode's so insane.

The real crimes, the real crime was very sad, and it was for enough.

It's yeah, really upsetting, yeah, really upsetting.

And she's just a cold psychopath at the end of the day, and it was for And you can't claim that you were crazier all these different things when you took all the alarm clocks.

Yeah, yeah, all these like people that are like it was the heat of passion.

It's like you planned out so many steps, so many things were done in advance, took to clean up, like yeah.

But not gonna work for me.

Yeah, but anyway, I'm sure we have other Russian listeners that will write in and let us know how wild this all seemed, because it was just I don't know, but what else I mean, Yeah, just a classic wild early season episode where so much of it didn't make sense, but it had so many of these great like tropes, like the porn star who won't stop moving boxes and is like, do you guys have an agent.

I mean there's like great Bulldozer.

I mean, come on, we had some great there's some great elements in this.

I just don't know if the full cake gets baked.

I mean this also has the classic there's a banana in the asshole.

I mean, oh my god, I have a banana up is rectum.

I mean this this episode gave us a lot, like it gave.

Us allergy banana.

Like, yeah, the porn star mover, the horny artists, the guy who's got a banana up his ass, Like, there are a lot of great s, few elements, but I don't know that the plane gets landed in terms of the plot making any sense.

But you know, I.

Also just wish men stops getting married if they just wanted to be whorees.

Like I don't get.

I just don't get not following your true passion because it's like you want you want someone at home obviously too, so you can.

Yeah, they didn't create their kids, and they didn't really get into the pathology of this guy basically having a sex addiction.

Like they didn't they touch on it.

They're like, yeah, he'll fuck anything that moves, but like they're not like yeah, it was ruining his Like, I don't think that's like a fun way to live for most people that have sex addiction, you know, Like, so they're right.

Yeah, And it was just confusing how he was a millionaire but was taking gifts back and also not giving gifts to the porn guy, like is he not good enough?

But the Russian women are good?

Like it's very confusing, but.

I am glad we did it.

I love a season one.

I love going back Baby Benson.

She's so young.

By the way, we're getting a lot of calls for Benson Bunnies.

They like Benson's badge.

Bunnies is like too anti our pathos as acab people are like, what about Benson Bunnies the name of our listeners.

I don't know.

Yeah, I like the sentiment, but it's just not because I'm thinking about Benson Boone.

Also, fuck the police.

I don't know if you saw, but a manager from the laugh Factory Chicago was taken by ice.

Yes, yeah, and the cops just stood watching as they like kicked his mom and took him away because he was trying to protect his employees.

We live in halfa and just so you know, yeah, white guy born in the South, Like it doesn't matter, like not that it was.

Right American guys, he's an American citizen.

Oh, like white as fuck, born in Lake Texas or Virginia, ark and like a way.

Like undocumented or something like that would justify.

There's no justification.

But like why would they just take him?

What did he do do something?

I think he was trying to protect the people that they were trying to get.

They threw him down.

I mean, if you watch the video, they they're throwing him.

Read somebody talk.

I heard somebody talk about it, but I didn't see any video.

And I don't think he's been found yet.

And his mom just there, yeah, and the cops just watching the thirteen year old kid that was taking in Massachusetts and ended up in Virginia calling his mom terrified, going, I don't even know where I am.

Like it's we it's a fucking nightmare.

And they're doing by the way, like if you listen to us and there's fucking ice recruitment ads on Spotify, we're not part of that.

We don't want that shit.

But I don't know how we can stop it because there they paid their money to Spotify.

Listen to us on Apple.

I don't know if they're a better company, but I mean we can't.

Well no, because Caleb Heron complained and they're like, oh, we'll stop running them for your show, and it's like no, no, no, that's actually not the right.

Yeah, yeah, the answer is we will not run them.

But hey, I mean Amazon just fired thirty thousand people.

I mean it's all happening.

It's all like it was happening.

It's gonna continue happening, and it's gonna affect everyone.

Whether we just have such great listeners, but it's.

The people of like, yeah, the ones that do have job, You're also going to be affected because I didn't realize this, but grocery stores make money off snap.

Yes, that's how they make money too, so they're about to lose tons of money, which and then very crazy will go up for us.

Also, it's all like connected.

But they don't see humanity in the poor or brown or get I don't know, they don't see them as humans.

It's like that fucking black mirror with isn't it Daniel Caluia with the thing on his head and he sees everyone as a bug.

Yeah yeah, yeah, you know my co star Daniel.

I think it's also but it's like, but it's like they are they are expert scapegoats, like they they put they're convincing their people that poor people and trans people are the ones that are causing their problems, and it's like they're not.

They're not.

No one like that's not that's not your problem.

Has he done one thing he told you he was going to do to make your life better?

No, nothing's cheaper, everybody's fucked, everyone's losing their health care, like, nothing is better whatever.

We can't rail about this man every fucking time we get on our podcast, but it is.

It is, And I like you guys, they think they're trying to do something where it's like and you think illegal should have health insurance.

I go, yeah, I think I should all be able to do whatever, but they don't.

Also I know, yeah, but like I believe they should, you know, like that, Yeah, that's my thing.

It's like they're trying to get you, and it's like, no, I think everyone should eat, whether they have a job or not.

I think everyone should have health.

Like you're never ever gonna change my mind on that.

Yeah, I was on food stamps.

I was on welfare.

I was not a citizen.

I had free and reduced lunch.

Like I don't know, I don't know what to tell.

But it ultimately it stabilizes people so that they then get out of poverty.

And because like do if you go on any social media site, people are saying I was on snap, I was on benefits and it enabled me to help my child.

And now we are not on those benefits anymore, and we are, you know fully contributing to the economy in the way that all you fucking psychopaths think everybody should.

I just I get so mad.

I get see whatever I'm buying weapons, You're gonna buy gun, not a gun, and I don't need that in my life.

I think I'm gonna do tasers, bear mas, I'm gonna get knives, and I'm gonna start I keep saying I'm gonna do pushups, but I haven't.

But that's on the agenda.

Wait, that's one of the weapons is your own body?

Yeah, you meet these two fucking weapons right here.

Well, I'm inspired by the people, the New Yorkers that went out and fucking stood it front of a tank.

I don't know, I ask it like the ore business girl in the polka dot dress.

But we have to be ready to protect each other.

I guest, you know, I don't know.

I don't know what I care to have.

Yeah, listen, let's move on to our what would Sister Peg do?

Right?

This is our weekly segment where we direct you to sometimes an organization, sometimes I a book, a movie, something to give you more information about what we talked about today.

Uh, we already shouted out googling for Snap benefits.

Please do that if you fast forward our intros.

We are telling you again, please google where you can help people that are losing their Snap benefits in your state.

Just google your state and it will come up a thousand different places that you can either donate to or give goods to.

But for this week's what would mister Peg do, we are going to shout out the Oxygen true crime show The Real Murders of Atlanta that covers the Lance Herndon murder.

If you want to get more info, put faces to the crime and all that.

It gets into all the nitty gritty of the crime.

So if you want to know more about what drove Dion Ba to bludgeon this man to death, check it out on peacock and we will.

Post that.

On our That'll be in our show notes as well as in a story that gets saved to our WWSPD highlight every week on our Instagram page, which is that s Messed Up Pod.

Thank you so much.

And next week we'll be doing genes from season eighteen, episode thirteen.

And this weekend I will be in San Francisco late to come see me.

Thank you, get on up there to Sam Bran, all right, thank you guys, We love you.

See you next week.

Bye.

That's Messed Up as an exactly right production.

If you have compliments you'd like to give us or episodes you'd like us to cover, shoot us an email it That's Messed uppod at gmail dot com.

Listen to That's Messed Up on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

Follow the podcast on Instagram at That's Messed Up Pod, and follow us personally at Kara Klank and at glitter Cheese.

As always, please see our show notes for sources and more information.

Thank you so much to our senior producer Casey O'Brien and our associate producer Christina Chamberlain, and to.

Our mixer John Bradley and our guest booker, Patrick Coottner.

And to Henry Kaperski for our theme song and Carly Gen Andrews for our artwork.

Thank you to our executive producers Georgia hard Start, Karen Kilgraf, Daniel Kramer and everybody at Exactly Right Media.

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