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Even here.

Tell you, okay, it's just really quiet.

By quiet, I mean just not saying anything.

Oh yeah, we know what the word quiet means.

Brian, Well, no, I just meant it wasn't It wasn't that your MIC's aren't working.

Oh that's that nobody's talking.

Well we had all our conversation before you got here, so.

Well that's the problem.

Yeah, to fill you in, I said, where is Brian and Noah said, I don't know those.

It a conversation complete.

Trying to get your cat to stop a rubbin on my microphone.

It feels like it ought to be in you anddo but I don't think it is.

Y house.

Everybody's weak.

Yeah, pretty good.

I survived getting my eyes laser.

So I saw your wife said you were napping after getting laser surgery, and your cat's apparently stick guard at your bedroom door.

Yeah.

Yeah.

It took a while to chase them all out of the room so that they play there without being bothered.

That was an interesting experience.

Yeah, I'm assuming it worked.

Oh yeah, OK, yeah, I can see now, so I can see about as good is I could with my glasses on.

But what I'm told is that my vision's going to keep getting better for like three months.

I do.

I only have one Yeah, I only have one little side effect, but apparently that's a pretty normal thing.

That's if I look at like bright lights, they have like a halo round them.

But apparently that goes away over time too.

The surgery is like, all right, it's crazy that you're awake through the whole thing.

Yeah, yeah, it's pretty freaky.

I'll tell you what.

The freakiest part is when they peel your cornea back, because it makes your vision go fucking crazy.

Like, no, I wouldn't like that at all.

How I open they so they clockwork orange you okay, and they give you Well the crazy thing is then they give you like a little target and they're like keep looking right here, and you're like, I'm trying, but you're like bringing things at my eye.

Yeah.

Yeah, like I was able to finally get to the point where I could put contacts in when I was younger.

Man, I don't know.

Yeah, like when I get my eyes tested, they blast like they put drops in and then they blast like air into it or something really difficult for me to deal with, so m yeah, I blink.

The crazy thing is just that there is absolutely no pain.

I've heard there's no like nerve endings in your eyeball.

Yeah, yeah, they put numbing drops and stuff in it.

Well, but see that's not entirely true because I've had my like corneous scratched before and that are really bad.

In this I have a giant circle cut my corneas and it doesn't hurt.

So how the fuck does that make sense?

Yeah?

I don't know.

It's almost like the doctors know things that you don't know.

I don't know something well.

And then so you have I have like these wetting drops that I have to put in pretty frequently, and then I have like steroid antibiotic drops that I have to put in, you know, every few hours, and those the steroid winds.

You put them in your eyes and there's about a five second delay and then it's like stings really fucking bad.

And it's just weird that it gives you just enough time to get them in both eyes and then it fucking lights you up.

Yeah, m I don't know if I can do it.

Why do they have to keep you awake?

I have no idea, but very literally, before you go in, they give you two tile and al PM and two advil.

Then they put some drops in your eyes, and then they walk into a room and put you under a machine and they're like, Okay, now we're gonna put this thing in your eye.

I feel like I'd prefer it if they would just give me something to make me go to sleep and then I just wakes out.

Doug would prefer to get hit over the head of a giant hammer and then.

Yeah, I would also have preferred to be asleep, but I don't know.

Part of the problem is I've seen whatever Final Destination movie that is that doesn't help me.

I mean, yeah, the whole thing.

I couldn't.

I can't because they wanted to give me like a hard contact lens from my eye condition, like a solid plastic contact lend, and I just told them not to bother.

I'm like, I'm never putting that in Like, I'm just like, and they're like, well, it's like the only thing we can think of that might help right now.

I'm like, well, then, I guess it's I'm just gonna live with it like this, just because.

I will never do it on my own fight whoever shows up to my house and trying to force me to do.

I said, like, we can go through the process of like because it's like you have to have it specially made for your eye and stuff, and we go through that whole process, so it can just sit in my bathroom on a counter.

I don't know if there's any real point to that.

Oh, getting to the point where I have to take my glasses off to read some things now, which is not fun because that just makes you feel really old.

Glasses off to read, Yeah, because I'm like nearsighted, so I can see stuff close up, but any glasses for stuff to see stuff far away.

And apparently my vision's changing enough that my glasses on.

Sometimes if I'm reading something, especially on my phone, it's hard to see.

If I take my glasses off, it's much easier to read.

It's because the lindsay, your eyes getting hard.

You gotta do the like, get the bifocals going.

Probably it's probably I'm due for some new glasses.

That's probably what's gonna end up happening.

I'm really gonna feel old.

Not that that's not a constant every day thing already.

All right, that's a pleasant start to the podcast.

Really important that we have these depressing old man conversations.

No, were you worried they were gonna pull out a chainsaw to operate on your eye?

Uh No, that's that's fucking awful.

That's absurd.

I don't know why anyone would even think of that.

Yeah, well, sometimes hookers in a very specific region of the United States, I would use one to chop up people.

Sure do.

By the way, we're talking about hooker movies, one of which is Hollywood chains hookers.

Uh, I don't know, Doug, do you want to tell us about Hollywood chain sockers.

Hollywood chance sockers.

It's a it's your typical film noir about uh typical.

You have like a private detective who is trying to track down this girl who's run away from home, and in sort of like the tradition of films like you know, eight millimeter, he's like, oh, he finds out she might be involved in the sex industry.

He finds her stripping.

I like that.

You went to a movie that was made like fifteen years after this movie.

I was gonna say hardcore, but I couldn't remember if that was made before or after this movie.

All the same time at least.

Yeah.

So anyways, it turns out she has joined a a cult of hookers who worship chainsaws, which is run by Gunnar Hansen.

By sheer coincidence, I'm.

Sure of ancient Egyptian chainsaws.

Yeah, And so he's trying to rescue her from that cult, only to find plot twist.

It turns out she is infiltrating the cult to get revenge because the cult sacrificed one of her friends.

So now he kind of joins her on our mission, and they end up battling a cult of chainsaw wielding hookers, and we get to witness their chainsaw worshiping what do you call it?

Dance party?

That's sure, And every now and again we just cut to a scene where a hooker picks up a john, takes him to a room, gets him on the bed, and then she just proceeds to wave a chainsaw around while a production assistant throws body parts and blood at her while she's standing there get holding a chainsaw.

Fred Olin Ray was like, I know what the boys want.

It's not really it's not really a.

Surprise, all right, watched for anybody?

That was for me.

I think I think I've seen parts of this, but I'm not sure it was for me.

I feel like Noah has this on a loop in his bedroom.

Probably, yeah, I definitely do.

Not I have seen it before, but I wasn't sure.

Weirdly, for a movie called Hollywood Jane Saw Hookers, you'd think that I would know whether or not I had saw it, And it took me a few minutes to be like, oh yeah.

Yeah, yeah, OK.

Because it seems like everything noahould want, like slimy exploitation movie people getting chopped up in like the eighties style with chainsaw and Lena quickly topless.

Yeah, yeah, I wish.

I kind of wish they would have tried to play parts of it a little straighter, which would make it funnier.

You didn't like it when he made the shadow buddy on the wall.

I think, I, honest to god, I think the funniest joke in the whole movie is that pop up at the beginning of the movie that says about, you know, the chainsaws used in this movie are real chainsaws used by professional which is very, very dangerous, So don't do this, And then like it pops up and it says, my conscience is clear.

It says, it says, don't don't do this, especially if you're about to engage in sexual activity or something.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's really funny.

So that that popped up at the beginning, and I paused so I could laugh before the movie started.

The first time watched.

For me, I had heard I've heard about this movie, yeah, but I just never watched it.

And I think I even remember reading, like back in the day we used to get like a TV guide and in the back, they would have all the movies that were listed on all the movie channels alphabetically, and sometimes I would just go through that because we didn't have cable, and I would just go through that and read the descriptions of the movies.

And I think this was one of them.

And I think the idea kind of freaked me out a little bit, as like, you know, maybe like a six or seven year old where I'm just like, there's women that just chop up people with chainsaws.

That's fucked up.

Cut to forty years later and I finally watch it and I'm like, oh, this is the most ridiculous thing I've ever seen.

So of course it's so.

Good though, and it is great that like this movie's just like the same thing over and over again.

Yes, it's like, yeah, it's like woman naked woman, naked woman, chainsaw.

Then time with our detective guy doing his shitty I'm pretty Pokert impression, where the fuck he's doing jitty jokes?

And then woman naked woman, chain saw.

I gotta repeat, I will, I will cut you off a little bit.

Though, I'm going to defend the private detective guy.

I think he gives a wonderful wonderful performance, like you need something, you need a break from the chain sawing in order for the chain song to have an impact.

And I think he does a really fun job of like parodying like a traditional detective in a film, and it's like his whole thing of like every time he walks into a bar and tries to cool and no one thinks he's cool, and he's like he's constantly trying to like find people and everyone's just basically telling him to shut up the whole time.

I really enjoy it every time he tries to a cool in front of the cops and like, what the hell do you want?

Just tell us what you want and go it, like because nobody else is in a nineteen fifties film, so the rest of them don't have time for shit.

And I enjoy that.

Did you enjoy when his description his noir voiceover would not match what was actually going on in the scene.

That's fine, didn't need to Are you talking about the times where he intentionally didn't ye Because there was times where it was just.

Where he's talking about the girlfriend, he's like, you know, she told me to have a good day, and she's clearly telling him to fuck off.

Yeah, stuff like that I enjoyed because it's like it's it's just funny, and it's a nice like it's a different type of funny than the funny of watching people get chopped up with chainsaws, you know, So it's a nice, nice breather in between chainsaw scenes.

It's funny that he goes to that bar, and like the I love the I think it's an intentional joke that he just goes to that bar to meet that one girl, and Lennay quickly happens to be stripping at the bar.

I don't even think he knew it was a strip club when he walked in.

It's just like I think so, but I mean, of course Lenaa quickly plays that role.

Like I didn't say that in my plot description, but everyone knew, right, It's nineteen eighty eight, a young runaway girl turns out she's a stripper who's joined to cult.

Yeah, it's Lenae quickly, the second most obvious casting in the whole movie.

The funny thing is I read that she constantly told her parents not to watch any of her movies.

Yeah, obvious reasons.

Yeah, and even would go through the TV guide and erase when her movies were playing, so they would know when they were on or whatever.

Apparently she said she was so proud of this movie that she brought both of her parents to the premiere.

That makes no sense.

I don't understand, but sure, it's fine.

She's good in the movie, Like I have no like we I find we're saying this about her a lot.

But it's she's good at what she does, Like there's a reason why she kept getting these roles.

Like anybody can dance around on the thong, right, Like it's not that hard.

But the actual acting is the part that she can pull off in a way that other actresses can't.

Think she can make a movie like this work because let's be honest, this movie in the hands of the wrong people would be terrible.

It'd be bad trauma.

Right, yeah, it's but this is an AI picture.

It's the director is somebody who works a lot.

The actors are good.

You know, maybe Gunner Handson's not good, But who the hell else are you going to put into.

If you can get leather face from Texas Chansaw Masses.

It's not like it's a one hundred percent stunt casting.

Like it's just like obviously it has to be him.

The weirdest type casting in the world where it's like anytime somebody dances with a chainsaw in a movie, he has to be in it.

Yeah.

I was reading the trivia about this movie, as you know, at the very beginning as it was starting, and multiple posts about this the famous dual chainsaw virgin dance at the end or whatever, and they kept going to like multiple kept referencing it like this scene must be crazy, And then when it came to it, she literally is just like barely moving around while she's holding.

Two Yeah, I mean she kind of The only way I can describe it is like the Fonzie A but extended a.

Listen, would you hit two chainsaws working chainsaws to like an actor and be like, hey, you're gonna be mostly naked and you're gonna dance with these.

Just work with the choreography and see what you can come up with to do safely.

That's what they came up with.

Well, the funny thing is because she comes out of like this coffin sarcophagus thing, yeah, with the two chain saws, and apparently she would start both the chainsaws and then get into the sarcophagus thing, and then they would you know, action, and then they would go and then she would emerge and do the thing or whatever.

And apparently the exhaust coming out of the chainsaws, she started to get like light headed after a couple of times.

Yes, she was like dying of carbon monoxide poisoning.

But I'm just like, why do they have to be running for this scene?

Like she's not like engaging the actual chainsaw so that it's moving.

Listen, it's important for realism.

He wants this to be as much like a real chainsaw worshiping cult as it could be.

Oh so weird.

She's dancing there, the guy's tied down and he's like, oh fuck, they're gonna like kill me with those chain saws the whole time when we get the girls fighting with the chain saws.

And apparently it's pretty good.

And apparently places didn't realize that she was wearing body paint.

I think they thought she was wearing like a skin tight like and so they would just play those clips to advertise the movie on whatever, like on TV or whatever, not realizing that she was like actually naked.

Yeah, that is very fucking funny that.

That's my favorite piece of about this.

Movie and apparently she was even shot.

She's just like they keep showing those on TV and stuff, but like I'm naked topless at least.

Like my personal opinion is good for her and good for them, because agreed, that seems like one of those little victories.

Remember like when you were a kid and you'd hear a swear word on the radio because they forgot to edit it out of the song.

This would have been so cool to see just the naked chick on there and you know what everybody else thinks, she's dressed.

Also, my big takeaway from this movie is, man, they had not perfected breast and plants yet.

No, No of these boom jobs are terrible.

It's yeah, those eighties breast implants are something else, you know, whatever we're to judge, but.

Where they're where it makes their tits so far apart for some reason, Yeah, a lot of distance between those tits.

Like I mean, it's it's funny because it's just like it doesn't even remotely look natural, and it's awkward to see now because now like like even if a girl has a shirt on, you can tell in those ones.

Nowadays, I think you can kind of do them so that if they have, if they're dressed, you certainly can't tell.

But you know whatever, that's that the technology has advanced.

You know, that's what happens.

It's the same thing as like when they use CGI in old movies and it doesn't look right now.

Uh and then uh.

A couple other pieces of trivia that may become Duck's favorite's Triviall.

Oh, the Temple set.

I read two different pieces that are kind of contradictory, so I don't know which one if either one or true.

But the first one is that part of that set is from the movie Vamp that if you look, you can still see Grace Jones's face on one of the statues or whatever.

Oh interesting, I.

Was looking for it.

I couldn't really see it.

But that's not my favorite piece of trivia.

Well, the other piece is that the Temple set is actually from the temple part in House to the second story.

Oh that might be.

That's pretty good.

I haven't seen House two since we covered it on the show.

Yeah, so maybe I don't know.

I was gonna say that one sounds true, just true.

Yeah.

The only question which is in House to like nineteen eighty five, or am I mistaken?

I'll have to look.

Yeah, it just it feels like it could be a bit earlier.

But I might be mistaken on the year or two.

I don't do the thing where I look stuff up.

I just go off memory.

All right, Hollywood, Chainsaw Hookers is eighty eight.

Yeah, in the house To is e seven, so they're one more apart.

So this is starting to feel like it's almost a given.

Yeah.

And then Vamp was eighty six, So I don't know, it seems more likely to be house To.

I wanted to be house To, so I'm just gonna say it's house Too.

Thaten's more more likely, I would think.

So h and then the last piece of trivia that I thought was pretty hilarious is apparently there's some real prostitutes possibly in this movie.

Why not?

I think during the last scene when they did there's a bunch of extra women just hanging out.

It was just cheaper and higher prostitutes than extrass.

Well, from what I read, they just went around town asking the girls on the street, like, Hey, do you want to be in a movie?

Apparently they were like okay.

But it's kind of funny because I think Dunner Hansen was quoted as saying, like, yeah, they drank all the beer at the rat party and then just left.

I mean I just like that show up, drink all the beer and like, yeah, we're out.

I mean that seems fine to me.

You know, if you hire prostitutes to play prostitutes in your movie, I mean that seems like that's what's gonna happen.

You need to know that going in.

Did you guys look into the director at all?

Uh, the name is very familiar.

I cannot because.

He has like one hundred and seventy credits or something.

And my favorite thing I read was that he got started in doing like low budget horror and sci fi, but then he he's almost almost like complaining, you know when when the kind of the budgets for those types of things dried up and it was harder to make those movies, he had to transition into making like TNA movies to be sure, on late night television.

It's wait a minute, like this is what you made when you were making a horror.

I don't know that you're allowed to complain about making T and A movies for late night television.

Like, uh, well, you know what he does now.

Are he's doing TV stuff, now.

Doing TV stuff, but it all looks like those fucking Hallmark movies Royal Christmas Holiday.

I'm so happy that the person who mad Texas Chancellor Hookers is doing homework.

I am going against my own refuse to do refuse to do research thing and actually opening it up and seeing like, yeah, moon Maidens, wait, moon Maidens, and then a Royal Christmas Holiday.

Why does one of those sound like a porn in?

One of those sounds like a Hallmark movie.

But then in twenty twenty two he made Piranha women and a Royal Christmas on Ice.

This Royal Christmas thing is a trend like ballet.

There's a holiday these guys on franchise.

Royal Christmas on Ice, Royal Christmas Engagement.

So that's hilarious.

So he's doing like fucking Hallmark movies.

And then when he gets a break, he doesn't something called The Killer in My Backyard.

That's hilarious.

I bet those are like Lifetime movies like scorned wives that kill their husbands.

Maybe yeah, see a movie.

Called yeah, Killer in my Backyard, A Mother's Secret.

That's a bunch of different Christmases that are in different that are in different states.

It's like just there's Vermont Christmas and whatever other Christmas is just yeah, that's hilarious.

I love that he's doing that.

So funny.

This is how he got his starts.

Just gotta make your money somehow.

Oh he did one called baby Dolls Behind Bars that does not look like a Lifetime.

Movie that is video not TV, so.

As is Busty Housewives of Beverly Hills or Dirty Blondes from Beyond.

I like fucking like he used fucking aliases for some of these as well.

Bikini Jones in the Temple of Arrows.

Alright, alright, I'm I'm glad we looked this up because I'm glad to know all this, But I don't think we need to read all one hundred and seventy credits titles.

The titles are so good.

So yeah, he's definitely a name I had heard before.

But again, I think this might be the first time I've ever seen one of those movies.

I think I was like scanning it earlier today and I don't think I had seen anything.

But there's so many that I don't know like he does.

Like I will say, like it's he has a talent, Like, it's not because this movie could be bad, Like based on everything we're saying, I could be complaining or I could be really happy.

Like there's no middle ground, and I'm very happy that we watched this.

It really it nailed that, just that perfect tone, you know, like it understands what it is, but it's not.

It doesn't cross that line into making fun of horror movies.

It's still just having fun with them, which is like a really silly thing to say, but it's true.

By the way, we have covered another one of those movies on the show, Oh which one attack of the sixty foot centerfolds.

Oh that was terrible.

It wasn't terrible.

Yeah, this is one of those movies.

I looked it up to see if there's like a It's Cool release because I'm curious.

This is definitely a movie I would want to watch like a making of documentary about because I just want to hear all the stories about making this movie.

Oh, Like I want interviews with the studio heads who are like, yeah, if Gunnar Hansen refuses to be the cult leader, the movie just doesn't get made, Like it's why is he such a good actor?

No, he's actually like not to not to be overly critical, but I think he's like the worst performance in the film.

And it's like that's not like it's not because like we've definitely done movies with the way worse performances in it.

But oh yeah, compared to everyone, everyone else is quite good.

M he's all.

He also said that people had been after like they keep asking him if he would ever do a sequel this, yeah, because you know, it's like a cult classic, so you've got to cash in.

But he said he would if they paid him up front for the production costs of the movie, and it's salary because apparently he he said that he got royally fucked on this movie as far as like taking any money off of it.

They do tease a potential sequel at the end.

Yeah, and we although we see Gunner Hansen get chainsaw, we're told that they refined his body, so you never know, it could still happen.

It could still happen.

You can get Andrew Bernarski.

Now he's falling off, falling off of anybody's radar, so he'd be cheap enough.

It'd be hilarious to do a remake of this and put him in the role.

Really funny.

I mean, it's probably not a good business move, but I don't necessarily recommend it, but it's pretty funny.

Yeah.

I don't know if there's a market for Hollywood chains lookers too anymore.

But I mean I'm I'd be there one hundred percent.

I Like, I gotta say, like going into this movie, it's one of those ones where I'm like, you know, it's almost a homework movie, where it's like I've heard about it for so long that I should watch it.

Yeah.

I couldn't have been happier with the way it turned out.

They nailed it, and it's I was because I got like when the AI logo popped up at the beginning, I got a little nervous.

I'm like, oh, I don't know if that's right for this type of movie.

But it turns out, Yeah, that that sort of lighthearted tone that they were quite good at suits this very well.

And like I say, getting a director in there that can have fun with the horror industry without making fun of the horror industry, having actors who will take stuff like this seriously and actually try like it's just just taking this utterly absurd premise and like making a real movie out of it instead of just like like, it's not just a collection of scenes.

It's not just you know, the same room with different girls chainsawing guys each time or whatever.

It's not you know, reused shots and all the crap that you expect to see in a nothing budget film.

So I was Doug, you found the real artist intent in Hollywood Chainsawhookers.

It's stupid, but it's true.

Alright.

Else they want to say about Hollywood chainsaws, it's.

Just fucking delightful.

I don't know the scene.

Would you get the second chainsaw scene with the guy who's like, I need to take pictures from my work.

They're like, are you gonna sell pictures?

And he's like, no, no, I sell baseball bats.

It's for a calendar, a newty calendar.

Baseball bats.

Kids love it.

Could you take this picture?

Sure?

Cut to just a shot of her, just a ban over ass up.

The whole thing is absurd because she goes through all day where she's holding a bat and like posing with it like she's gonna swing, and it's like she has those breast implants that Brian was complaining about earlier.

So it's like she couldn't swing a bat even if she tried.

Chest is locked into place, can't move it very well.

So it's like the whole thing is very serve and very enjoyable.

And it's such an eighties idea too, because you're like, you know what, I would buy my baseball bat from a guy if it came with a free nooty calendar.

That's that's the deciding factor if you need a new bad anyway.

Oh, the first kill in the movie when she puts on the music and then she covers up the picture.

Of Elvis like Dexter style, but all she protects is her picture of Elvis.

So she was dancing to a real Elvis song.

Yeah, and apparently the song that they played on set they couldn't they couldn't get it because it was too expensive, so they had to get a different Elvis song.

But I'm just baffled that the Elvis estate was like Hollywood chainsaw hookers.

Yeah, sure, so we'll clear we'll clear usage for that.

Why not.

Just all that tells me is that nobody gives a fuck by not that for his death.

That they're just like, send the check for this amount here and you can do whatever you want with her, That's exactly what that is.

Yeah, but she starts because when she starts hanging the plastic, and I'm like, it is very Dexter, Like I think this was a heavily influential film on Dexter.

And I'm like, I'm watching her do it, and I'm like, she gonna put plastic like all over the room.

And then it's like, no, just the picture.

I mean, you could just put the picture behind glass and be easy to wash off after take that up, that plastic up and put it down every time it was I will point out in the storytelling of the film though, there is like there's an element in movies like this where sometimes the men that are hiring the hookers are the bad guys and we're happy to see them get killed, but they don't.

They want the hookers to be the bad guys.

So that like opening kill that guy is like on from out of town, I don't even know what, I'm just here to have a drink.

And then she's like pressuring him to and eventually he kind of goes, oh, wait, you're like a hooker.

He's like it's like his neat La experience that he met a hooker and stuff, and so then so he's like just like this kind of somewhat innocent guy, Like he's still going back to a hotel room of the hooker.

But you know, it wasn't like he's some scumbag who was going to abuse her or try not to pay her.

He was just you knowing out of town guy, a businessman on travel, you know, And and she like manipulated him to get him back there.

So it's like it's a fun way to set up that.

Like, I don't know, the chainsaw hookers are the bad guys of the movie, don't.

Worry, just in case we need to differentiate between Yah.

It's important to know who you're rooting for when a hooker is chainsawing a guy?

Am I happy to see him get chainsawed?

Like I am when Jason kills people or you know on his side.

So, and at that point, we don't even know there's a chainsaw cult.

So that big plot twist has occurred yet.

Oh we know.

What we haven't talked about is the nonsensical scene where they're in the police station and one of the cult members has been arrested.

It's not relevant to the rest of the Yeah, it's not relevant to the rest of the movie at all.

We're just like, there's just a crazy girl in the thing, and the cops just casually mentioned that, like, yeah, while she was here, she we were we left her alone in the room with the chainsaw, and she killed two officers.

So it just casually dropped that.

You're like, I know, this.

Movie is ridiculous.

It was a lot better and I thought it was gonna be though.

I'm so happy with this movie.

Hour and ten is the perfect length for this.

That's also true.

It is very short.

It's yeah, it's an hour fourteen and like.

Very long opening, very long opening and closing credits too.

Yeah, the actual movie itself, it's pretty short.

Yeah.

Ava a little for free on several different apps if you're looking for it.

So all right, Noah, do you want to go from hookers that chop people up to a hooker that has been chopped up and put back together?

Sure?

So excellent, Brian very well known.

So Frank and Hooker is about a genius who everybody the best thing is freaky dookie, weird science kid who everybody acts like it's normal, Like they're like, yeah, he's been kicked out of several schools, and he's a genius doctor who failed out of med school and now works for the power company.

And has a pet human brain that he keeps in am.

He has a pet human brain with an eyeball, and we but he keeps going, what is it?

And he keeps going, I don't know.

He has his fiance and they are at the fiance's dad's birthday party.

His gift is a remote controlled giant, super dangerous lunmower, in which, during the demonstration, his girlfriend runs herself over with the remote control lawnmodes.

Yeah, his only recourse is, of course, to steal her head in one hand and I think a foot and store her in a bathtub filled with pinkish purple water for an undetermined amount of time, maybe a year, we're not sure, during which he's gone even more mentally ill.

He has a great conversation with his mother where he says, you know, I'm kind of losing grip on reality and I'm becoming more and more immoral every day, and she's like, okay, you want pie.

She's not a particularly helpful mother.

So he decides he needs body parts, but there's no good way to get body parts, and if he's gonna have to pay to get body parts, he might as well hire hookers and kill them to get the body parts.

We get some funny scenes of how he talks a room full of hookers into getting together and allow him to take measurements.

A significant portion of this movie is him inventing a super crack in order to kill the the hookers.

It's easier to come up with super crack than it is for me to invent a way to just grow body parts.

Yeah, we're just like that.

The fact is crack is such a big fucking part of this movie is just it's fucking wild.

By the way, distributed by Trump.

If you kill hookers using traditional methods, then you have to chop them up the super crack, they just explode.

Problem solved.

You know, It's a.

Time saver in the long run.

I do love the fact that he tests the super crack on the guinea pig.

The guinea pig explodes, and then he goes, Oh, holy shit, this is gonna be a huge fucking mess, and then he just goes.

To with that plan.

Part of part of the plot of this movie, too, is that he has been drilling into his own brain to help him quote unquote think, which is, uh, yeah, it's a thing.

That's some Jeffrey dahmershit.

Sure.

Yeah.

Finally he brings back the girlfriend, along with the various hooker pieces that he picked out, which is very funny.

I really like the fact that she's got the check mark on her ass from earlier film.

That's one of my favorite things about this whole movie.

Yeah, brings her back, but instead of having the girlfriend's personality, she just shouts a random hooker things that the other hookers have said in the last twenty minutes of the movie, which is very funny.

What a date.

She also has an issue where apparently if she sexes or kisses a person, she passes electricity into their body and then they supercrack explode as well, So we get her walking around and exploding people.

Yeah.

Then we get the confrontation with the pimp, which ends with the As it turns out earlier in the movie, when we saw the lightning strike and it hits the giant vat of hooker parts that are left over, we get that Checkof's lightning bolt payoff because it's now filled with horrible Cronenberg horror monsters.

That's a great word for them, by the way, I mean, there is no other word for it.

Who dragged the pimp in there?

During which he gets his head chopped off?

Suddenly he wakes up because girlfriend has frankensteined him back together, and the joke being that his formula and stuff only works on female body parts, so now he is also made of four bits and doesn't have a dick anymore.

Hahaha, very funny end of the movie.

Is this the first time watched for anybody?

I don't know.

It's the first time in fucking over twenty years.

I think it's the second time watch for me.

And the first time was at like a festival screening years and years ago.

So I watched this like a month and a half ago for the first time.

Really, yeah, it's just like, what the hell?

I So a couple of favorite things from this movie.

First of all, super Crack is very fucking funny and it's also very very trauma.

Yeah.

Uh, but the check mark on the ass big thing.

The girl who plays the Franken Monster, that fucking uh Sylvester Stallone lip poll that she keeps doing is so fucking yeah.

I don't know why that is, but her kicking herr fucking lip to the side like that is just like I'm like, yeah, you know the assignment you got.

This overall performance is good, like the way she is quoting the other hookers and stuff like and walking all kind of awkwardly, and then like, I mean, the performance is good.

And then the way it's portrayed in the film where a lot of people are not noticing that she's a Frankenstein monster.

They're just like still like wanting to hook up with her because she just goes to where hookers go.

I love I do love the first guy she sucks, the little bald dude who it's like everybody's like, what the fuck, what the fuck?

Then he gets to him and he's like, yeah.

She's so excited to be there.

It seems like I had heard Patty Mullen, who plays our titular Frankin Hooker.

He's been doing conventions and she still does the stallone lip when she takes pictures with people.

Nice.

Yeah, apparently she dresses up, she gets the purple hair, she does the purple outfit, does the whole thing, takes pictures with people, conventions, Yeah.

I'm into it.

I like her bonus points Also, those Cronenberg horror monsters are just fucking in a movie where I would argue everything is skiny about the left field, those are so fucking far out of left field.

Oh, completely caught off guard, Like, you know, going into this having not seen it in so long that I couldn't remember things.

It did not occur to me that there was going to be horrible little moms coming out of that freezer.

It was awesome.

And they're dragging the pimp back in.

Yeah, the pimp getting dragged into the thing.

You're like, yeah, but.

Yeah, like the whole movie is every little part is good.

But then also the way it's put together is really good, where you have, like by making the scientist guy the main character, that's smarter than making the Franken hooker the main character.

So she's only like Franken hookering about for a little while, you know, wandering through the village causing trouble the way that Frankenstein monsters tend to do.

She's only doing that for a little bit.

You know.

Most of the movie is about him and doing his experiments and dealing with the hookers and awkwardly learning how to deal with hookers.

Because there's just that street that's just full of hookers.

That's where you go apparently going a hooker in New York City.

I don't know's I mean it's frank hennon latter is that you pronounce it.

And you know he's good at portraying eighties New York in his own special ways.

He has a vision of that city at that time.

He likes to put it on film, and it's not really a positive one.

I wouldn't suggest.

I do love the like ninety percent of for interactions while she's in Frankenstein mode, is her going you got any money?

And they're like no Ah just pushes them away.

I will say I was a little disappointed when I watched it that the actual like Franken hooker part doesn't come in until about the last third of the movie.

Oh see, I think that's the right move.

I think you want to do it.

I hope for a little more.

I think I think the problem.

I think you think you want more, but I don't think you want more.

I mean, listen, we' are you gonna cut out super crack.

You're gonna cut out him putting a check mark a drawing a CHECKMRK on that girl's ass because it's the one he wants to use when he builds his Franken Hooker.

No, but I think I think it's like the classic case of like you think you want more Franken Hooker, but if that was an hour of her walking around doing that, you'd be like, it gets lame after a while.

And I don't think I think they nailed it.

I think they did just the right amount.

So again, I think it's it's like when people watch like a show or a movie and they want the funniest character to get their own spin off, and you're like, yeah, but would they be funny if you see him and there's nobody else there for them to playoff?

So how did you feel about this as a Frankenstein movie?

I was actually like pretty impressed with how close it is, because even the thing with like because you have like like you have the mad scientist, you have like the monster comes back not quite right, you have like the whole thing of him, like trying to figure out how to collect body parts and stuff.

You even have like the fun twist ending of like the the are quotes the bride waking up and being horrified, except with like the role reversal which is fun, you know, so as like a like as a parody of Frankenstein movies, I think it works quite well.

I think it's a it's a fun it's a fun twist on the story that it doesn't go too far again having fun with the genre and not making fun of the genre's it really it knows its limits, if that makes sense.

So, like you have him running around in his like medical gear, like drenched in blood, like trying to find the Franken hooker, and just when it starts to seem stupid, somebody goes, wait a minute, why are you dressed like that?

It reminds the audience, so you know, it's absurd that he's running around looking like this and everybody does notice.

It's just you know, and I think stuff like that is important in a weird way to prevent it from getting stupid.

So yeah, I think I think it.

This is another another hit.

I watched these back to back today.

By the way, this is my whole day.

It's like, what a great day.

So get a bunchet of dead hookers.

Yeah, just alone in my house with dead hookers.

That's how I like to spend my time.

I did like that all the body parts come back to life, as we mentioned.

Yeah, that was a fun twist.

And even like boobs come of life like like like they're they're like all the parts are like cut up.

So there's just he's kept individual boobs in this pink ooze and there's just a live boobs bouncing around during the whole thing.

Well, because he did, like he did go through every body part including boobs, with like a fine tooth comb, trying to find the perfect ones to replace his body with.

Because there is that scene where he he gets his like whatever that doctor thing is that works as a telescope and he zooms in on that one girl's nipple and then boops it.

It's right around the time that he puts the checkmark on that other girl's ass.

So you know, you might have missed it.

You would have been too happy about the check mark.

I do remember enjoying the out of control remote control lawnmower too, just I just for some reason, because I didn't rewatch this.

I I guess I watched like a month and a month and a half ago.

I do remember when that happened, just being like, oh holy shit, all right, I guess we're just jumping right into.

It, well, because it's such a weird eighties concept, Like the film came in nineteen ninety, but it's like the weird eighties, like oh yeah, I know, like I made an automatic lawnmower that you can control with this remote and it's just like a guy that works at the power company just knows how to do that is such an eighties thing and then to have it immediately backfire.

Just does anybody remember the VHS box in the Video Star that had a little button on it and you pushed it in the box said you want to date?

No?

No, but there's a.

Talking Yeah, there was a talking box head her voice asking if you want to date?

That's great?

Yeah, No, this movie is like a really good movie as well, Like it's a movie that knows what it is.

It's it is making a parody, but a smart parody, like not a as dumb as the movie is.

It doesn't cross that line into like just constantly making Dick convert jokes, if that makes sense.

Yeah, so it like.

And then like you know the idea that like at the end he gets his comeuppance and it's like the button on the story is like, yeah, maybe don't turn your girlfriend into Franken Hooker like this, like you know, maybe this was wrong, maybe that you know.

And I think that that's kind of the difference between this and like a worse like if Troma had made this film and not just distributed it, I think that you wouldn't have gotten those types of little They don't worry as much about the storytelling.

It would have just been the jokes, and the jokes probably would have been mostly the same jokes, but without storytelling that it worked for as well for me.

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Thanks for calling.

All right, who's what stuff?

Since last episode?

I actually watched a few things.

Oh were you supposed to be watching stuff on screens after getting your eyes lasered?

Yeah?

Yeah, I mean you're you're very literally what they tell you to do is go home, take a four hour nap, and then watch TV the rest of the day.

Oh fair, all right, now I want the surgery.

That's pretty good.

So I saw a few things.

So I did finally watch Gaba del Torro's Frankenstein.

I saw him watching.

Yet it's really good.

Well, they keep I keep hearing it's great.

Yeah.

The only the only thing I would change is I would make the monster even more attractive, because they still went with the he's kind of stitched up quite a bit, which is not the way he is in the book.

Tell you he was too ugly for you?

That's your complaint?

Yeah, yeah, well yeah, and I don't I don't even think like they didn't make him as horribly monster as as he is in a lot of versions.

No, which is yeah.

But besides that, it's really good.

It is interesting that they kind of not only do they take out the incest thing, but they I don't know, they completely changed the relationship between Elizabeth and Victor, which is odd.

Yeah, I think what they were trying to do and trying not to spoil it for Brian, but like, I think what they're trying to do is show his like weird obsessive behavior that he has, like the creation of the monster is also applies to her.

But I don't think they did a good of a job of it.

Yeah, I could have almost taken her out of the movie, and I might've been better.

Not that I not that I didn't want her in the movie, but I'm not sure how much.

I'm not sure how much she advanced the plot.

Yeah maybe, Yeah, No, I think that I think that makes sense.

I really liked the stuff with him and the old Man I thought was very very good.

The Christoph Wall's character or the old.

Man in the Monster the Blind the Blind Man.

Yeah, I agree that was it was really well done because it was like I feel like they gave the old man more of a character in this than he has in almost any other version of the story I've seen, Like, like you actually understand why this old man is alone in this cabin because he refused to leave and like with his family and all this stuff.

Right, Yeah, uh yeah, but it was, like I said, it was very good.

Man.

The gory bits are so gory, I know, it's kind of and it almost catches you off guard because it's not happening through the whole movie and then whenever it does happen, you're like Jesus Christ, like Garrimo, chill the fuck out, Like.

No, no, do not chill the fuck out.

I disagree with that.

It's a when he's in when he's doing his experiments in the castle, there's just piles of body part, it's all over the place, and it's like this huge, beautiful Gothic castle, and then there's just hands over there.

You're like, sweet, I see, I wouldn't even say that.

That's like the biggest During the encounter with the wolves, there is a moment in that where it's like Jesus fucking Christ, what the fuck man?

Yeah, I mean correct, Yeah, but again, I wouldn't change it.

I think having that in there is beneficial to the film and beneficial to understanding other people's reactions to what has happened and stuff like that.

Yeah.

Yeah, And I do love.

I do love basically address like the monster's kind of thought process and motivations and leg which again is huge parts of the book that are just absent in every fucking adaptation for whatever reason.

Yeah.

No, And it's it's well done and you do kind of understand where monsters coming from.

He's a little too ragy for my taste.

That's just my personal opinion on it.

Sure, But in the book, I mean, he's kind of that's part of the thing is he's trying to process his emotions unhealthily, you know, because he's got his issues too.

But yeah, and I do I do like the the stuff that they added in with like really focusing on Victor's dad and all that kind of stuff to be like, oh, it's a kind of a cycle of abuse kind of thing that's going on in some ways.

Yeah, they did a good job of not overemphasizing that, but at the same time showing you if you want to stop and think about it, it's there.

You know.

The obsessive behavior and the kind of the pressure he puts on Victor is sort of the same as the pressure Victor puts on the monster.

Yeah, exactly.

So again, well, it's great if you're a fan of Frankenstein or a fan of horror movies.

Either way, you should probably bug and watch it.

And then I watched I'm trying to remember what the exact name of this is.

Hold on, I want to say it's called Vanessa two thousand.

What that does sound like a movie?

You'd watch.

It is not what you're thinking.

It is.

Disney Channel original.

No.

So actually I got a like a coupon thing for Dropout, and I was like, okay, you know, I can get a year of dropout for like forty dollars drop out.

So drop out is the thing that College Humor turned into.

Now they make sort of TV shows on their own network kind of the same groups of people, okay.

And one of the things they have on there is a bunch of stand ups they have, like Adam Conover's stand up and people like that.

And I saw this random one of a woman kind of dressed like a sex doll and it was called that, and I was like, that's this has got to be a fucking crazy ass stand up, So let's watch this.

And it is stand up, but it is stand up in the kind of clown vein of comedy, so more like a Steve Martin stand up, if that makes sense.

And it's this whole show where the woman whose name I cannot fucking remember off the side of my head, is playing a sex robot and so like there's significant parts of this show where she's like torquing on stage and stuff like with the camera zoomed down on her ass.

It's it's pretty wild, but it's very funny and very weird and shifts gears about one hundred fucking times where you're like, what in the fuck is happening right now?

I would argue not all of it is funny, funny funny, but that's the way I feel about people like Steve Martin and that where it's you know, that fucking stage clown shit.

It either hits or it doesn't, right, But I'd highly recommend watching it if you're into experimental, weird fucking comedy, because it is experimental and fucking weird.

Then I also went to the theaters in Saul Predator bad Lands.

Yeah, it is just like I mean, it's a popcorn movie in the Predator universe.

There's a needlessly cute character and it's like a almost like a buddy cop movie of a Predator and a half an android going across the planet to kill a monster.

I like, I said.

You're upsetting me by saying these things.

Just listen, here's what Doug wants.

Here's the thing.

If you're wanting to go into it to see a a rated R Predator one Predator two style movie, do not fucking watch the movie because you will hate it.

But if you're in it to go.

I used to read the Predator comic books, and I want to watch something more like the Predator comic books.

Sure, I mean, that's it.

I mean this is very literally it is a movie about a predator learning that the idea of hunting alone maybe is not actually the correct thing, and that sometimes hunting as a group makes you stronger.

So it's a it is a fucking predator movie about a predator learning a fucking after school time lesson.

But it's fun.

The whole thing is.

It's fun and ridiculous.

It's a shitty popcorn movie.

If you could accept it to be a shitty popcorn movie, you're good.

I cannot.

Just so we're clear, man, So they don't watch it.

I'm already mad about it.

Yeah, I mean, Predator.

What's what's the thing that makes the predator species the most interesting?

Would you say?

I would say the mystery and is learning about them?

Yeah, yeah, so that's part of it.

So that's throw that out the window.

And what makes the predator scary in like the first.

Movie, I mean, it's the fact that they're kind of an unstoppable force that only has one mission.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

They are the perfect killing machine, right, that's their whole thing.

So this one is about a predator who is the smallest, weakest predator of his clan.

Go fuck yourself, whose father he is the smallest and weakest predator For fuck sakes, It's essentially uh god damn it.

What was the fucking book they used to make you read in high school?

That's about like the the kid who set sail and has to like kill an octopus and ship it from what I'm talking.

About, Oh, I think so I can't remember the name.

Of the fucking novella, but yeah, it's that.

It's that.

You're so mad I haven't seen it.

Yeah, well, I think what pisses me off the most is like they made the last one and it's good, so they're like, well, then we'll let this guy make another one.

And then he is like, I'll do the problem that was with all the other Predator movies.

I'll do that instead of doing the good thing that I've already done and proven I know how to do.

Yep, fucking bullshit.

Anyways, Anyways, that's it.

That's all I saw.

What as you watched.

I don't think I watched much this week.

I did watch, sort of in the vein of what we're talking about.

I watched a movie called Splatter University.

It's a no budget splatter film from nineteen eighty four.

So this movie opens up with it's a mental hospital.

We're seeing the patients.

One of them is talking to a mannequin head.

They're all doing crazy shit.

A doctor walks into a bathroom and somebody stabs him right in the dick, right just right in the dick, and you're like, oh, well, look at that.

And then it cuts and does like some flashbacks to the other patients again, and we open it up and like, clearly it's the patient that stabbed him is like putting on the like the doctor's uniform so he can escape, but he's like trying to figure out how to close the coat to cover up all the blood where the dick would go.

And you're like, oh, this is a great start to a movie.

And the background, the doctor's lay in there and he's like his throat slit and he's naked except for his tidy weddies which are covered in blood because he got stabbed in the dick and you're like, this is so much fun.

I'm enjoying this a lot.

Ah cut to a year later and there's like a college campus and there's a new teacher hired, and a lot of the movie is about how she can't get her students to sit down and be quiet and do their work, and I don't that's not as fun to me, Like why is all this happening?

And then there's like a huge mystery going on.

And I won't spoil who the killer is because for somebody this might be their first horror movie and they won't figure it out right away.

But for the rest of us, we're gonna know the guy right away who it is.

And there's all this like nothing going on, and she's like dating a guy, but who cares.

Every now and again there's a kill, and the kills are pretty fun.

And one of the girls she gets her throat slit and they throw her in a dumpster.

And then her friends are like walk them by and they're drinking beer in a taste bad, so they're throwing their empty beer cans into the dumpster, and we get this overhead shot of her laying in a dumpster and just beer ans rainy count and that's pretty fun.

But then they go back to like talking and being boring for the rest of the movie, which I I don't know why they did so much of that.

They should have just probably had more killings in it unless trying to do anything else.

I don't know why they ever left the mental hospital like that should have been we should have flashed back to there a lot, because that was way more interesting than this like shitty little budget college they were at.

So it's kind of a not recommend, except I would probably recommend the first few minutes so you can watch a guy gets stabbed in the dick, because I don't know, I mean, this is nineteen eighty four too, Like RoboCup hadn't even shot a guy in the dick yet, so it's pretty advanced technology.

It's like, this is what happens when you don't have a budget and then RoboCop gets the budget.

Now they can shoot a guy in the dick.

So uh, not really a recommend, I don't it's yeah, I mean again, I watch everything, so why not.

But watching that and then watching something like Hollywood Chainsaw Hookers and realizing you can do a stupid splatter movie and have fun with it and do it well, and you know, it turns out not everyone can, so but yeah, that's the only movie I watched this week.

I started watching a movie called The Vindicator.

I got like twenty minutes in and realized, not only have I seen it before, but we did it on the show.

So it's like, wait a minute, I've seen this before that I like checked the list, and I'm like, there it is.

We covered this a long time ago, so there's not even any point in me developing opinions on it.

I've already yelled them into a microphone on a rewatch.

I did not enjoyed it enough to finish it when I realized I've already seen it.

So it's entirely possible that we have way too many shows under our belt at this point if I can't even remember that I've seen a movie that we've covered, right.

The only movie I watched is UH.

It was up with my girlfriend and her daughter up in their little town and they have a new, restored, little UH one screen theater in town.

It does some stuff every once in a while, and they've been re running a bunch of retro movies, and the night I was there, they were showing the ultimate director's cut of Rocky four, the Rocky versus Drago version, the.

The re done one from a couple of years ago.

Yeah, they re edited yeah, the stallone redd Yeah, where.

They try to make it into a serious movie.

Yeah, And I haven't seen it yet, so I'm like, well, if I could see in the theater, why not.

So we went to We went to that and uh, yeah, they apparently took out all the ridiculous stuff with the robot and uh, I don't know.

I want to say they tried to make it less cheesy.

But it's impossible.

There's still like three music montages within like ten minutes.

Yeah, but that's way down from the original films.

I actually did the math once on the original film, and it's like it's over half of the runtime is like music videos.

Basically, it's basically on TV.

It's a bunch of music videos.

Some people pop up in between them and talk a little bit.

That's it.

It's absurd, but at least there's a robot in it.

Now.

I haven't seen the original cut in a while, but I feel like we got to the Apollo Creed fight sooner.

Like I feel we just kind of jumped right into that, and I don't remember if that's how it is in the original one.

No, it takes a little while to get to it because we're we're sort of exploring Rocky's life at that point and trying to, yeah, like set up the whole thing where they're like getting older, having trouble living their lives properly.

Yeah, it's about the only thing I really noticed.

I would have to rewatch the theatrical cut and.

See they're quite different in tone, like as different as they can be when they dress that way and stuff, because it's absurdly eighties.

I did lean over at one point and told my girlfriend, I'm like, man, so that's still one.

Sweaters are pretty epic in this movie.

That's there's one scene.

I'm trying to think of what was going on in that scene.

There's one scene where he's trying to be dead serious and he's wearing this leg.

The only way I can describe it is it's like what an old lady's coach would look like, but he's got it as a sweater, and it's like, how are you going to take him serious?

In that thing?

It's I mean, and like to be fair, the original movie was never serious, So to try to take something that's so not serious and turn it into something serious is quite an ask, right, you know.

It's The good thing is like this theater like literally just got re remodeled over the last year.

So in this small town.

Soon he grew up in this guy won the lottery, Like he had moved away, and then he won the lottery and he came back to town and he bought up a bunch of stuff in the town to like remodel and stuff, because like they're downtown was starting to kind of fall apart.

That's pretty cool.

And so he's bought up a lot of them.

He bought the local radio station and they revamped everything and upgraded everything.

And this it's it's an old this is an old opera house that is since you know, in the eighties was turned into like a movie theater slash performance stage because like the screen lowers kind of the stage and stuff and they can project movies.

So they remodeled every thing inside of it and upgraded everything within the last year.

So like the sound system's brand new.

And I got to say during the last fight, like that sound system was was paying for itself because the uh the floor was just vibrating.

The music was super fantastic, just like you had this awesome just sense of like, oh shit, like you're in the middle of this fight.

So it was kind of cool to see it that way.

Yeah, it's kind of neat to visit theaters and stuff too, Like, I know you're a fan of that.

I am.

Oh yeah, I.

Just found out that somewhere in my province is the world's smallest purpose built movie theater.

Really, it's like a twelve seats in it or something, and I'm like, oh no, I kind of want to go to that.

Yeah, yeah, so yeah, So, I mean it's if you're a fan of the Rocky movies.

I still enjoyed it.

I do feel like there was a giant recap at the beginning a part of three, though I don't remember if that's on the theatrical cut or not, but.

In a while since I watched either one.

Yeah, it was just like a giant montage, but it was like almost like small scenes playing out from like even before the first time he fights mister T.

So I'm just like, wow, we're recapping a lot.

Huh.

Yeah, I think I might have extended in that cut.

I can't remember specifically though, probably, but yeah, I would say if you're going to watch one kind of Rocky for watch the original and just know that you're watching something objectively absurd and like that's fine, that's what you're watching.

Yeah, And I'm nostalgic about it because I saw that shit in the theater when it came out.

Really, my parents took me and a friend of mine, and the idea was because because the theater I grew up around had two screens, So the idea was, me and my friend were going to go watch Karate Kid Part two and then my parents are going to go watch rock four.

And Karate Kid Part two was sold out, so all four of us went to see Rocky four.

So I and I, you know, it's the eighties.

I'm like seven, so of course I love that movie.

Well, And Rocky four is a fun movie, like it's you can argue whether it's good or not, but it's fun, Like, yeah, pretty inarguable that it's fun.

And I did point out to Cindy that Sevestia Stalone Aty and Rocky cures communism.

He does because he says, hey, if I can change, and you can change, we can all change and communism fell.

The next day, he brought the people together and had everyone stop fighting.

I guess I did like the juxtaposition of Drago's first fight was in the United States, everybody boot him, and then Rocky's fight was and the Soviet Union and everybody boot him.

But of course he won him over.

Because he fought with such heart and soul, because that matters anymore.

Yeah, there was a simpler time.

It was nineteen whatever, eighty eight.

It's it was just it was just an easier time back when people still gave a shit about stuff like that.

Then, Uh, you know, I had to ruin the whole experience for myself.

By when the credits rolled we were getting up, I'm like, well, that's it.

That's Rocky four.

It's nice to know that getting a Rocky five.

We find out that he has brain damage from Drago punching him so hard, and then he loses all of his money, so now he's poor again.

That's great, right, Well.

To be fair, like, I think, if you look at it from a timeline perspective, he was in the process of losing sing his money in Rocky Fall.

He just didn't know you brought it on himself.

Paulie be in charge of your money.

Right, Don't ever let PAULI make investment choices for you.

Yeah, it's hard to have any sympathy for him.

Part five.

I've only seen it once and I just remember it being fucking terrible.

It's I saw a video the other day of Stallone ranking the Rocky movies, and he's very high on himself.

I don't know if you know that about so Leister.

He's not exactly unbiased when it comes to.

Discussing his own films, Like that's why he likes Trump so much.

On a scale of one to ten, I think like every movie is like above a seven, except for Part five, which is like a two.

He hates it.

It makes me laugh.

Yeah, m hmm.

But the Rocky movies, for the most part, hold up, you can.

The only reason you need to watch five is because six is really good, and I do remember doing it doesn't make any sense if you don't watch five, Like six is like like one is obviously the best one.

There's no there's not much room for discussion.

And then like three and four are fun, and then five is bad, and then six is like almost as good as one, and then that's when they Then after that they transition into the Creed movies, which are actually quite good themselves.

I've seen the first Creed movie.

I've never watched the other two.

I need to get around to it.

First one is by far the best one, same as the Rocky movies.

It's like, yeah, but now that I've watched Rewatch part four, I was like, oh, I got to get to the Creed three with Drago's kid in it.

Creed two has drug was kidding it no good?

First three, well, that's right.

Three has Jonathan Major's in it.

Yeah, because I was actually curious about that one because I thought the storyline actually sounded pretty good.

It.

Yeah, I have my issues with.

It, but yeah, just the idea of them growing up together and they both got in trouble, but then Creed's X, you know, Creed's widow comes and bails him out, and that guy has to go and live on, you know, live on whatever life they were living together.

Yeah, just how that takes some different places.

It's and it's I don't know, it's all right, except for the fact that like the implication of like that somehow this guy was automatically going to be like world champion.

It's like, well, if you remember in the first Creed, he was like a child when you know, when when he was rescued, you know what I mean, it wasn't like it wasn't like they were our professional fighters already and one of them got to move on and one of them didn't.

Yeah, And it was like it is sort of implied that thinking Creed three, it's like, it's not that they got in trouble before, it's like they got in trouble after.

Creed was living with Bill Cosby's wife, who was actually married to Apollo Creed in that movie, and it's like, so he was like living in this rich neighborhood but sneaking out and going into getting into trouble with for kids kind of thing.

And it's like, yes, so then because he's rich, he got off.

Yeah, which is like and it's like okay, but it's also you're like trying to portray him as this like he's he grew up in this rich mansion, but also he's also kind of ass he's also like raised in the hood.

From the trouble you Yeah, it's kind of like, well, which one is it?

Because if you recall at the beginning the first screen, he's like wearing a suit to work every day and stuff and boxing on the side, and that's the whole thing.

Like he got top notch education and all that.

It's like, okay, but also he was raised on the streets.

Just you know, we forgot about that.

We forgot about that part for a while.

Here's a brief glimpse of some of the truly find pictures.

We scheduled him in the air future.

Right next week.

So work coming up on the holiday season, sometimes during real Thanksgiving as we call it down here in the United States.

Sometimes it feels like being trapped with our family is like being held hostage by terrorists.

You're really working for this one.

And so I'm just like, you know, it'd be better if I wasn't home, as if I was in an arena of some sort.

Terrorists took that over.

I don't know.

This is my way of saying, we're watching movies where terrorists take over arenas.

Oh, and only, of course one person in the arena could possibly save us.

And in that first movie, it's gonna be Jean Claude van Dam while hockey games going on.

In the movie Sudden Death from nineteen ninety five.

Wait, didn't we already do sudden Death?

No?

And second movie is gonna be uh Dolph Lunder and saving Everybody as a drummer for a rock band in Command performance from two thousand and nine.

Oh god, I the Kidneyses will be less mad about that movie than I am about the Pardator movie.

I'm not seeing so.

I swear didn't we do sudden death?

Didn't we do sudden death with sudden Death?

Didn't we do two movies called Sudden Death Mike Rising.

I think that we might have at one point in time tried to put that together, but there were so many movies called sudden death that we could figure out how to do it.

Maybe uh search results for sudden death.

So we did Savage Streets and Sudden Death.

But it's not the same sudden death.

I don't think, Okay.

And then I was thinking we did Sudden Death and Cliffhanger for some reason, but.

Maybe we did.

We definitely did Cliffhanger.

What we teamed it.

Up with sudden The sudden death we did it with was with Savage Streets because they were both rap revenge movies, which was not.

It's the John Claude van dam One a Rapervene movie.

I can't remember.

No, No, it is die Hard in a sports arena.

I know it is.

He kicks a dude wearing skates I think, and gets slits his throat.

Really, that was not very descriptive about what the movies were in the post I made back in twenty eighteen when we did it.

This is this week.

We're talking about some raypervenge films, always a feel good topic.

Also, Noah gets mad at Brian and Doug for not being into Ralph Bashki movies.

We get a load of feedback that's definitely changed, And Brian gets mad at Noah and Doug when they don't care about a dream that he had.

All this and more, I.

Still don't care about the dreams you have, just so we're clear.

Apparently this is when Scott's podcast Graveyard Duck was still going.

Which one was that?

It was the podcast he did right after he left last for.

Cast, Yeah, but which one was it?

He's done.

He's done like four cents then, just to put it in perspective, perspective, the episode we're doing right now is three hundred and sixty seven.

I want to say, sure, uh, The episode we did on Savage Streets in Sudden Death was episode forty four Jesus Christ.

So three hundred and twenty odd episodes later, we're getting around a sudden death.

You gus, You guys, remember, you guys, remember how long ago it was we started doing this.

I can't forgetting that it's been so long.

We remember how young we were when we started.

Remember when Dog had a complete the different house than he lived in this this other one burned down and then they rebuilt it.

Crazy.

Time is weird to bring that up right?

I almost forgot.

That's how I measure time now is a Predug's fire or post Dugs fire.

I was thinking the other day, maybe it's time to finally buy a winter coat and not just keep wearing the one that was donated to me.

I was literally thinking about that because it's winter here now, so.

I still have the same winter coat that I've had for like twelve years.

It's gonna say if it's if it's a nice donated coat, it's fine.

Every year I'm like, I need a new winter coat and I never buy it.

Well, we'll see if I fight it or not.

I doubt you will, by the way, Uh, Command Performance.

I believe it's on two b okay Amazon primed down here in the States, and I.

Will tell you I'm not paying to see a two thousand and nine Dolf Loundering movies.

So Sudden Death is available to rent wherever.

Yeah, okay, I'm sure it's available free somewhere too.

It feels like he could be on YouTube.

It's old enough to be on YouTube.

Probably.

I don't know why you're not excited about this command performance.

If it was, if you told me that in nineteen eighty five there was a movie where Dolph Lundering is the drummer in a band and he has to save like the princess because she's the concert's taken over or whatever.

I'm all into it.

It's the two thousand and nine of it.

That's the problem.

I'm just saying, just give give Dolf a chance.

Well, I have no choice, so I will.

But I wonder, I wonder if anybody else note.

Is in this movie.

No, that's my guess.

Second, Bill, it is Melissa Mully Molinarrow who yep, uh you remember Melissa?

No?

No, yeah, I don't recognize a single other person.

No.

I also want to point out Doug you're not only getting the getting the glory of Dolph Lunder and being in this movie.

Apparently also was the writer director of this movie.

That's great.

I will be going out of my way to boor you guys to death with Pittsburgh Penguin factoids during next week's shows.

I mean, when was the last time you saw anything that said written and directed by Dolph Lunder that turned out to be bad?

You know what?

For all I know he's an excellent writer director, because I don't know that I've ever I think I've avoided everything that he's written in directed.

I was gonna say, correct, that's the reason.

That's the reason why that's true, because you haven't ever seen anything.

Why would I?

Uh, all right, you want to hear some taglines for this movie.

I already used one of them, die hard at a rock concert.

They actually used that as a tagline.

Apparently it's gonna be a killer show.

Uh, rock and load.

That sounds like that does sound like a porno.

This show could be deadly.

And then my favorite dying is easy, rock and roll is hard.

That's my that's my favorite, to be honest.

Yeah, I mean that was that was actually kind of acceptable.

They were lazy, though they were real direct to video taglines.

I think the movies we watched this week were better than the movies were watching next week.

That's that's my official position, without having to even need to watch those movies first.

I mean, I'm having serious doubts that there is a single hooker and or chainsaw next week.

That could be a real problem.

I guess they can edit a hooker into anything.

We don't know.

It's been a while since I watched that John Claude Bandam movie.

I know he's with his kids, but does he leave them in the seats to go off of the hooker?

I can't recall.

Apparently Command Performance was released theatrically in Indonesia and I did Arab Emirates Oman Bahrain and kuwait yeah.

It feels right.

I was gonna say, you know what.

The only thing I can remember from the Van Dam movie is that at some point somehow he switches place with the goalie in the game and he makes a huge career saving catch with everybody thinking it was that goalie, and then he waves to his son.

Like doesn't wave to him.

I believe, makes like a special hand gesture that they yeah.

Yeah, so he know, it's like, yep, that's a thing that happened in this movie.

It's a great deal of respect they have for professional hockey players that just a random firefighter can just go out there and take over for the goalie in the middle of an NHL game, and no, it'll notice.

Not just that.

Part of the plot of that is that that goalie has been having a horrible, horrible season and is on the decline, and so he goes out and makes this huge save and everybody thinks it's a miracle that this shitty goalie gets the save or whatever.

I suspect that even the worst NHL goaltender is still better than your average fireman at the time.

I also believe that is correct.

I'm not sure if anyone's done any studies on it yet, so we don't know for sure.

But look, I'm just saying I'm excited for next week.

I don't care.

What are you the want of?

You say, no explanation necessary.

I just am.

We're watching a random Dolph movie.

If it's shitty, I'm still gonna have a good times.

Again.

Two thousand and nine.

I've heard he did this movie to earn money to fund one of his experiments, what he actually wants to be doing with this slice.

I had heard because the whole reason this movie was on my radars because I heard another podcast talk about how great it was.

I heard because he's a drummer, throws a drumstick in it and pales and one of the terrorist eyeballs.

How could you not be excited about that?

Because because it's two thousand and nine and they're gonna do it with CGI, That's why I'm not excited about it again, same premise, everything the same, but nineteen eighty seven I'm in.

The worst thing is if you told me that Dolph Lungren is also actually an amazing fucking drummer in real life, I would be like, that's really true and fucking him?

What the fuck?

Man?

Like I don't I don't know about the but according to this movie's trivia, he is a drummer in real life.

I just the dude.

The dude was the Punisher and is a like a legit genius and was Drego.

And was he man, and he man.

Whether he was good or not, that's a different story.

He was he man.

That's what's important.

Listen, you can't blame golf for that fucking movie.

I mean, sure, the same line deliveries, but maybe that's the director's fault.

Listen Gwildore and they said it in the real world, that movie was doomed.

Gildoor is fine.

I don't blame Gildor is maybe the best thing about that movie.

The next movie is also doing to take place in the real world, which I'm just like, does nobody learn.

They don't.

They don't learn.

What do we just talk about with predator movies?

They don't.

They don't want to learn.

They want to make shitty movies.

It's like it's like a fucking conspiracy to updown movie theaters.

It's like, what if we just make enough bad movies that people stop coming altogether, We'll keep complaining about it, like it's other people's fault for not coming, even though obviously if we put a good movie in they'd go to it.

Fucking stupid, stupid, cocksucking, fucking Hollywood.

Oh, I'm mad about that he Man movie being in the real world.

Too, But is it I say, I thought it was supposed to be the opposite.

This time.

It was going to be somebody from the real world getting stepped into Eternia.

I've seen pictures of he man wearing a bright pink button up shirt walking around the streets of whatever city he's drawn into.

Yeah, well weep, fuck me, fuck me.

For like, I don't know, man like that again, It's like, I'm just maybe gonna not go, like, are they gonna put out a fucking Masters's of the Universe movie and I'm gonna not see it?

Right?

Is that what's about to happen?

I think so.

I wouldn't have thought that was possible.

I was scrolling through some stuff today and was like, oh, yeah, I never did see that last Terminator movie, And I'm just like, yeah, they put out Terminator movies and I'm just like, who cares?

What even was the last one, Dark Fate, the one where Linda Hamilton came back?

Oh yeah, that was shit.

I never saw it.

You know what was shit was all the Terminator movies after, like, because even three is not terrible.

Four is not a Terminator movie, but it's an okay movie.

And then they're just like, what if we did everything wrong?

After that?

Just everything wrong?

See?

I feel like the Terminator Franchise is a very good horror movie, followed by one of the best action movies are followed by a few decades of bullshit.

I mean, yeah, you're not.

Wrong, You're yeah, you're not wrong.

I mean that's where we're at.

And they keep it just keeps going, just like it doesn't fucking stop.

A few decades of bullshit, people are still paying for tickets.

Well, and even cart out James Cameron to be like James help us.

He comes up with like a like a story idea.

I don't know if he just like quickly doodles on a napkin is like here you go, and then they try to make a movie around it and it sucks, but yeah, Jesus.

He goes as far as to doodle it on a napkin or doodled on a napkin that like the terminator was selling carpets or whatever the fuck carpets or curtains or something I can't remember.

They don't want to.

What if because I mean Schwarzenegger obviously he just doesn't hold the cachet that he used to obviously, But like if they make like a new Coneyan movie with him, would you be interested, Like if he's doing the old Man King Conan type.

Stuff, that concept interests me, I'd have to see trailers.

I'm also not the world's biggest conan.

Yeah.

Yeah, I'm just trying to think of Schwarzenegger's greatest hits, Like, what what could he do that would actually draw some attention?

A Raw Deal sequel?

Agreed?

Jim Belushi has just got that fucking pot farm up in Oregon.

Now, so that's where you said it, just Arnold?

Does the Russian guy coming back over to or that was Red Heat's Red Heat?

Yeah?

No, Raw Deals the one where he he last we saw him, he was being reinstated into the FBI because he did such a job murdering people.

So, oh, okay, I's gonna say kindergarten cop.

They did a kindergarten cop too with Dolph Lunder.

Yeah, but the list, now we do three Bring back, Bring them both back.

There both undercover at the same school and realize it.

Yeah, oh my god.

They shoot out in the teacher's loud before they both realize that they're both guys.

Die die hard.

But it's two teachers.

Bring back.

Miko Hughes.

He's like a teacher at the school now because he's old enough, but he still walks around and saying boys have a penis, girls have a vagina.

I mean he's still it's it was considered a given at the time.

Now it's a little bit.

Oh no, he's a statement.

He's a sex head teacher.

So he gets to work it in to work the line.

In he no, no, listen, you make it can set in contemporary times.

He's the guy trying to keep trance girls off of girls sports like girls.

That's the concept there.

I mean you basically turn him into the you can do it Rob Schneider character, But that's his entire job is just to pop up occasionally and scream that like an idiot.

No, what if he's the villain?

Now?

Yeah, he's the villain.

Obviously, it's obviously this is a whole Hollywood movie where you're gonna be in favor of the trans athletes being on the whatever team that they identify as.

Yeah, maybe you live long enough to see yourself become the villain.

He's the villain.

Now what if he learns his lesson At the end of the movie though, and just as like as the credits are rolling, he's like, maybe sometimes boys have a vagina and girls have a penis, and then it just fades to black.

It really was a kindergarten cup.

Uh, all right, we're we could not do a ship.

We mus a lot to do.

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