Navigated to Squirrel Squabble - Transcript

Episode Transcript

RED SQUIRREL

RED SQUIRREL: Gotta get those nuts.

Gotta get those nuts.

A squirrel's gotta get those nuts.

Especially a Red Squirrel like me.

We need all the nuts we can get.

Ah!

There's a nice acorn.

That'll make a fine addition to my collection.

Now, if only I could remember where I buried my stash.

Oh, great.

Here comes Grey Squirrel, just what I need.

GREY SQUIRREL

GREY SQUIRREL: All right, Red.

Out looking for nuts, are we?

RED SQUIRREL

RED SQUIRREL: Hi, Grey.

I suppose you're gonna claim that acorn is yours?

GREY SQUIRREL

GREY SQUIRREL: I did see it first, didn't I?

RED SQUIRREL

RED SQUIRREL: I don't know.

Did you?

GREY SQUIRREL

GREY SQUIRREL: Yeah, I reckon I did.

RED SQUIRREL

RED SQUIRREL: Could you not just find your own nuts for once?

You already stole my whole stash.

GREY SQUIRREL

GREY SQUIRREL: No, I didn't.

You just forgot why you stashed your stash again.

RED SQUIRREL

RED SQUIRREL: How dare you?

We Red squirrels may have a habit of forgetting where we hide things, but that's not what happened this time.

GREY SQUIRREL

GREY SQUIRREL: I bet it is.

RED SQUIRREL

RED SQUIRREL: No, it isn't.

GREY SQUIRREL

GREY SQUIRREL: All right then, if you can remember where your stash is, show me.

RANGER RAE

RANGER RAE: I can't, because you'd only steal it if I show you where it is.

GREY SQUIRREL

GREY SQUIRREL: But you said I already stole it.

RED SQUIRREL

RED SQUIRREL: Yeah, it's...

Leave my nuts alone.

GREY SQUIRREL

GREY SQUIRREL: Enough of this.

Just give me that nut and this will all be over.

RED SQUIRREL

RED SQUIRREL: It's mine

GREY SQUIRREL

GREY SQUIRREL: We'll see about that Red.

RED SQUIRREL

RED SQUIRREL: That's it.

I'm calling for help.

GREY SQUIRREL

GREY SQUIRREL: Oh yeah?

And who you gonna call?

RED SQUIRREL

RED SQUIRREL: You'll see.

Awoooo!

SINGERS

SINGERS: Across the many majestic wild spaces of the United Kingdom, from woods, wetlands, to mountain and heath, whenever help is needed, one ranger and her animal friends always answer the call.

It's Ranger Rae and the Wildlifers.

RANGER RAE

RANGER RAE: I can talk to animals.

It's a ranger's dream.

SINGERS

SINGERS: It's Ranger Ray and the Wildlifers.

RANGER RAE

RANGER RAE: Say hello to my animal team.

SINGERS

SINGERS: With Deer and Fox and Wildcat, Mole and Dragonfly and Beaver and Bat.

Sound the alarm and we'll come running to you.

DEER

DEER: With our animal powers, we'll know what to do.

SINGERS

SINGERS: It's Ranger Ray and the Wildlifers.

RED SQUIRREL

RED SQUIRREL: Ranger Ray and the Wildlifers will know what to do.

We'll have to try not to argue until they get here, which might be a while.

GREY SQUIRREL

GREY SQUIRREL: I'm much better at not arguing than you are.

RED SQUIRREL

RED SQUIRREL: No, you're not.

I am the master of not arguing.

RANGER RAE

RANGER RAE: Did someone call for Ranger Rae?

I'm here with Beaver and Fox.

ROXY

ROXY: And Roxy.

To save the day.

RANGER RAE

RANGER RAE: So, what's the problem, squirrels?

RED SQUIRREL

RED SQUIRREL: Grey Squirrel stole my stash of nuts and now they're trying to steal this acorn I found too.

GREY SQUIRREL

GREY SQUIRREL: I didn't steal your stash and that's my acorn because I saw it first.

ROXY

ROXY: Oh, Red squirrels and Grey squirrels really don't get along, do they, Fox?

FOX

FOX: Pardon, Roxy.

Sorry, I'm a bit distracted.

Isn't this place beautiful?

RANGER RAE

RANGER RAE: It sure is.

Tollymore Forest Park is one of Northern Ireland's biggest parks, and definitely one of its most beautiful.

They say it was the inspiration for Narnia.

BEAVER

BEAVER: What's Narnia?

ROXY

ROXY: It's a magical land some children found in the back of a wardrobe.

FOX

FOX: The back of a wardrobe?

That doesn't sound very magical to me.

BEAVER

BEAVER: This forest is nice, but let me tell you all the ways a Beaver's touch could improve things.

You see, whenever beavers are reintroduced, ecological improvements follow.

Now, see, I'd fell this tree here, this tree here, oh, and that one there.

That would create a nice water feature.

RED SQUIRREL

RED SQUIRREL: Hey, Tollymore Forest Park doesn't need any improving.

GREY SQUIRREL

GREY SQUIRREL: That's right, it's perfect and beautiful as it is.

RANGER RAE

RANGER RAE: Sounds to me like you both just agreed on something.

So there's some hope yet.

RED SQUIRREL

RED SQUIRREL: You know what, Grey?

Maybe she's right.

GREY SQUIRREL

GREY SQUIRREL: No, she isn't.

RED SQUIRREL

RED SQUIRREL: Alright, fine.

RANGER RAE

RANGER RAE: So what's this about a stash of nuts, Fred?

GREY SQUIRREL

GREY SQUIRREL: Grey Squirrel stole my stash.

I did not.

RED SQUIRREL

RED SQUIRREL: And now they're trying to steal my acorn.

RANGER RAE

RANGER RAE: Okay, that last one might be true, but I didn't steal the stash, honest.

How could I steal it if I don't even know where it is?

FOX

FOX: Why don't we just check the stash and see what's there?

RED SQUIRREL

RED SQUIRREL: Well, I...

I guess we could do that.

It's just, well, I sort of, maybe...

GREY SQUIRREL

GREY SQUIRREL: Red's forgotten where they stashed their stash, as usual.

RED SQUIRREL

RED SQUIRREL: Red squirrels forgetting where they stashed stuff is a harmful myth.

GREY SQUIRREL

GREY SQUIRREL: So where is it then?

Well, in this particular case, the harmful myth is true.

Anyway, it's a positive thing that we forget where we stash our nuts.

It's good for nature, helps spread the seeds around, which helps forest regeneration.

BEAVER

BEAVER: Ranger Rae, I have an idea.

RANGER RAE

RANGER RAE: Let's hear it, Beaver.

BEAVER

BEAVER: What these squirrels could really use is a pond.

So I say we gnaw down this tree here, and this one here, creating a water blockage, or dam, if you will, which will attract all sorts of wildlife, like frogs and dragonflies...

FOX

FOX: Pardon my interruption, but what has this got to do with Red and Grey squirrels arguing?

BEAVER

BEAVER: Oh, right.

I forgot what problem we were trying to solve.

FOX

FOX: What if I used my super Fox tracking skills to find this stash of nuts?

Would that help?

RED SQUIRREL

RED SQUIRREL: Yes, I suppose it would.

GREY SQUIRREL

GREY SQUIRREL: I'll do anything to clear my name.

RANGER RAE

RANGER RAE: Very good, Fox.

Lead the way.

How's the tracking going, Fox?

DEER

DEER: It's going okay.

This way!

I think if we just...

No, wait!

That way!

Ha, yeah, now we're back on track.

I'm sniffing for Red Squirrel scent, rather than the nuts, seeing as we're not even sure if the nuts are there.

This way!

ROXY

ROXY: Ranger Rae, how come Red squirrels and Grey squirrels don't get along?

GREY SQUIRREL

GREY SQUIRREL: Because Red Squirrels are silly.

RED SQUIRREL

RED SQUIRREL: We are not silly, you're silly.

GREY SQUIRREL

GREY SQUIRREL: No, I'm not.

RED SQUIRREL

RED SQUIRREL: Yes, you are.

You're the silliest billy in the whole forest.

GREY SQUIRREL

GREY SQUIRREL: Well, you're the silliest billy in the whole universe.

RANGER RAE

RANGER RAE: Calm down, everybody.

The history of Red squirrels and Grey squirrels is a long and difficult one.

Roxy, did you bring along your banjo?

ROXY

ROXY: I did.

RANGER RAE

RANGER RAE: How about some storytime music?

ROXY

ROXY: Sure thing.

RANGER RAE

RANGER RAE: Once upon a time, Red squirrels were found all over the UK.

GREY SQUIRREL

GREY SQUIRREL: We call it the before-time.

RANGER RAE

RANGER RAE: Red squirrels are native to the UK and have been here for over 10,000 years.

So they evolved to thrive in the habitat of the UK's forests.

BEAVER

BEAVER: Speaking of thriving, wouldn't this forest look amazing with a new Beaver-designed waterfall?

ALL

ALL: Not now, Beaver!

RANGER RAE

RANGER RAE: But in the 19th century, the Grey Squirrel arrived here from America.

GREY SQUIRREL

GREY SQUIRREL: Yo.

RANGER RAE

RANGER RAE: Grey squirrels are bigger and stronger squirrels, and they soon dominated the habitats of the Red squirrels.

RED SQUIRREL

RED SQUIRREL: Some would call this bullying.

GREY SQUIRREL

GREY SQUIRREL: Nonsense.

It's survival of the fittest.

RANGER RAE

RANGER RAE: And so the Red squirrels were pushed out.

Their numbers dwindled, and they weren't helped by the fact that the Grey squirrels carried the squirrelpox virus.

GREY SQUIRREL

GREY SQUIRREL: Oh, not this again.

It's just the sniffles.

RED SQUIRREL

RED SQUIRREL: Not for us, it's not.

RANGER RAE

RANGER RAE: This virus doesn't really affect the Grey Squirrel, but it can be lethal to the Red.

GREY SQUIRREL

GREY SQUIRREL: It's not like we do it on purpose.

RED SQUIRREL

RED SQUIRREL: I bet you do.

GREY SQUIRREL

GREY SQUIRREL: Alright, someone better hold me back because I'm going to let Red have it.

RED + GREY SQUIRREL

RED + GREY SQUIRREL: Come here, you!

PINE MARTEN

PINE MARTEN: Oi oi oi oi.

What's all this shouting?

We'll have no trouble here.

ROXY

ROXY: Look, look, look!

It's a Pine Marten!

FOX

FOX: Martin who?

BEAVER

BEAVER: A pine what?

ROXY

ROXY: This is so exciting.

I've never seen one up close before.

PINE MARTEN

PINE MARTEN: Well, yes, yes, yes.

We Pine Martens are notoriously difficult to spot.

BEAVER

BEAVER: You look like a cross between a squirrel and a weasel.

PINE MARTEN

PINE MARTEN: Ah, but we are neither squirrel nor weasel.

We are the mighty Pine Marten, and we've been native to the UK for as long as the Red Squirrel.

BEAVER

BEAVER: So how come I've never seen you before?

PINE MARTEN

PINE MARTEN: Could I have some banjo music, please?

ROXY

ROXY: Sure thing.

PINE MARTEN

PINE MARTEN: Once upon a time, thousands of years ago, the Pine Marten was one of the most common predators in the UK.

We were everywhere, even if people didn't spot us all that often.

But then, humans did as humans often do, and hunted us until all our number sank so low, we became but a whisper.

Do you remember the Pine Marten?

They'd say.

Whatever happened to them?

FOX

FOX: I'll have to hold my paws up and admit, we foxes did hunt our fair share of pine martens.

PINE MARTEN

PINE MARTEN: But you were one of our natural predators, just like we were one of the Red Squirrel's natural predators.

That's nature in action.

GREY SQUIRREL

GREY SQUIRREL: See?

Survival of the fittest.

FOX

FOX: Silence!

I believe we're getting closer to the stash.

This way, into the older part of the forest.

ROXY

ROXY: Is it true there are lots more pine martens about now?

PINE MARTEN

PINE MARTEN: Yes, pine martens are making a real comeback.

And that's not all.

We've been tasked with ending the rivalry between Red squirrels and Grey squirrels.

GREY SQUIRREL

GREY SQUIRREL: What rubbish.

BEAVER

BEAVER: How are you going to do that?

By building a beautiful water feature in the forest?

PINE MARTEN

PINE MARTEN: Of course not.

It turns out that our long history together means the Red squirrels are quite good at dodging pine marten attacks, but the Grey squirrels, not so much.

GREY SQUIRREL

GREY SQUIRREL: That's because we never got to practice.

PINE MARTEN

PINE MARTEN: Precisely.

So when Pine Martens are introduced to a habitat, Grey squirrels are much easier to hunt because they don't have as much practice at hiding from us.

ROXY

ROXY: So if you reintroduce Pine Martens into a forest, it helps even out the numbers of Grey squirrels?

PINE MARTEN

PINE MARTEN: Now you're getting it.

But it can't all be left to the Pine Martins.

It takes a combination of efforts, like monitoring squirrel populations, habitat restoration...

FOX

FOX: Silence!

The stash should be...

Right here.

RED SQUIRREL

RED SQUIRREL: Yes.

I do sort of maybe recognise this place.

GREY SQUIRREL

GREY SQUIRREL: You've no idea have you.

RED SQUIRREL

RED SQUIRREL: Yes I do!

It was right here!

Or maybe right over there.

ROXY

ROXY: Ranger Rae, what was that?

RANGER RAE

RANGER RAE: I'm not sure, Roxy, but I've heard it a few times now.

FOX

FOX: I know what it is.

We're hearing the Wood Wide Web in action.

Of course, the Wood Wide Web.

ROXY

ROXY: Don't you mean the World Wide Web?

RANGER RAE

RANGER RAE: Nope.

It turns out nature beat us to inventing the internet by about 500 million years.

ROXY

ROXY: But how?

FOX

FOX: Lots of trees and plants in a forest are connected by underground networks of roots.

And fungus.

ROXY

ROXY: So you're saying that all these old trees are connected to each other?

FOX

FOX: Yeah, the Wood Wide Web even means trees can send warning signs to each other if they're under attack by insects.

ROXY

ROXY: Are they communicating now?

FOX

FOX: They're probably putting a warning out because they heard there's a Beaver in the area.

BEAVER

BEAVER: Who, me?

Don't worry trees, I won't be gnawing through any of you.

This place looks fine as it is.

No water features necessary.

RANGER RAE

RANGER RAE: Some of the forests in the UK are so old that trees have had thousands of years to form these underground connections.

The oldest tree in the UK is about 3,000 years old.

ROXY

ROXY: 3,000?

RANGER RAE

RANGER RAE: Yep, the Fortingale Yew Tree in Scotland.

ROXY

ROXY: Amazing!

GREY SQUIRREL

GREY SQUIRREL: It really puts things into perspective, doesn't it?

RED SQUIRREL

RED SQUIRREL: What's that, Grey?

GREY SQUIRREL

GREY SQUIRREL: Oh, you know, all these trees living alongside each other peacefully for thousands of years.

Forging connections in order to keep each other safe.

You don't see them fighting over acorns.

It really makes you think.

RED SQUIRREL

RED SQUIRREL: I guess it does.

RANGER RAE

RANGER RAE: You know what, Red?

You have the acorn.

RED SQUIRREL

RED SQUIRREL: What?

Really?

RANGER RAE

RANGER RAE: Yeah, I can always find another one.

RED SQUIRREL

RED SQUIRREL: Wow, thanks, Gray.

To be honest, I don't think I'm going to find that stash anyway.

I've no idea where I left it.

GREY SQUIRREL

GREY SQUIRREL: I know.

RED SQUIRREL

RED SQUIRREL: Typical Red Squirrel, eh?

RANGER RAE

RANGER RAE: That's very big of both of you, Red and Grey.

ROXY

ROXY: Yeah, you should be very proud.

GREY SQUIRREL

GREY SQUIRREL: We've done enough arguing, haven't we?

Nobody wants to hear more of that.

Anyway, Pine Marten will be here to keep us in check.

PINE MARTEN

PINE MARTEN: Right, I will.

RANGER RAE

RANGER RAE: It sounds like the trees agree too.

FOX

FOX: So, in the end.

I was trying to track something that wasn't even there.

What a waste of my talents.

BEAVER

BEAVER: And I didn't even get to build a water feature.

FOX

FOX: At least we solved Red and Grey's argument.

That's nothing to be sniffed at.

GREY SQUIRREL

GREY SQUIRREL: Neither was Red's stash.

RANGER RAE

RANGER RAE: Sometimes the best way to learn about these things is to observe animals in their natural habitats.

ROXY

ROXY: Or we could go and help an animal in its natural habitat.

Come on, Wildlifers!

RANGER RAE

RANGER RAE: Everybody ready?

Wildlifers, away!

SINGERS

SINGERS: It's Ranger Rae and the Wildlifers!

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