Bookmarked by Reese's Book Club is presented by Apple Books.

Hi.

I'm Danielle Robe and this is Bookmarked by Reese's book Club.

Today we're turning the page with Malala.

You Softseie.

You think you know her story, Think again.

Malala has a new one to share and it is raw and candid and straight from her just release memoir, and she's sharing it with us today.

But first, Reese Witherspoon is here with us, and she's bringing her co author Harlan Coben with her for a very special announcement.

Hey Danielle, Hey all the Bookmarked listeners out there, I am so excited because I have a new novel coming out.

What am I talking about?

It's my very first novel.

It's called Gone Before Goodbye.

Reese's Book, co authored by Harlan Coben, is live in the world today.

So here's a little background.

Maggie McCabe is a brilliant but very troubled surge and she's given a second chance at her career and jumps at it.

But she's thrown into this secretive world of plastic surgery for the elite, and she quickly realizes that all of this is not what it seems, and when her patients start disappearing, she may need to run too before she's also gone.

Before goodbye.

Now, we may or may not have a live interview with Reese come in your way, But until then, these two co authors wanted to share an exclusive little peak.

This book, you guys, has been in my head for four years.

So the fact that it's actually out of my brain and onto paper and bound in a book, and that people can hold it in their hands or go to the bookstore or listen to the audiobook is such a dream come true.

I can't even tell you it's one of the things I'm most proud of in my life, because it was.

It was really challenging.

But I want to just tell you a little bit about how it came about.

I thought a lot about this character, or I kind of got the idea for a character, and I thought, oh, am I going to make this into a movie.

But I thought, no, wouldn't it be cool if I was part of a book and writing this book and bringing the whole world to life, not just this character.

So I approached my friend Harlan Coben, who's an incredible best selling thriller author, and I'm sure you guys know all of his novels, but he's just one of my favorite thriller writers.

And he heard the idea and it was like, this is really good, and so we started collaborating right there that minute.

So it's been a two year process of us thinking about it and working on this book and getting together and writing notes to each other, and here it is, and I cannot believe it.

Oh, I have to tell you.

One of my favorite parts of the book is the tattoo, and I can't say too much about it.

You see the description of the tattoo kind of early, but when it comes back in the novel, every single one of my friends who has read an early copy of the book text me when they see the tattoo part and they're like, the tattoo, Oh my god, I know it's so good.

So wait till you get to that part.

It blows your mind.

Hey, Danielle, this is Harlan Coben.

I can't wait for the part where people take Gone before Goodbye to bet it around ten thirty eleven o'clock at night and say, oh, I'm just going to read for ten or fifteen minutes and the next thing you know, it's four or five in the morning, and you've read all night and you're deliriously happy, in a little bleary eyed, and the story of Maggie McCabe and pork Chop and Nadia and the rest of them just stayed with you and you had to finish it up and you were deeply moved by the ending.

That's what I'm looking forward to.

So I hope you guys pick up a copy of Gone for Goodbye.

I loved writing it, and I just hope you guys love this character, Maggie McCabe as much as I enjoyed creating her.

I think it's really going to be a fun read for you, and I can't wait to hear your thoughts.

Let me know.

I don't know if I'm supposed to say this, but I'm going to say it anyways, because this is our space.

I got my hands on one of the fifty Advanced Reader copies and I devoured it in a single night.

I've never read a story quite like this.

The straddling between the two worlds feels timely and timeless all at once.

And then just when I thought I had the ending figured out, boom the twist completely shocked me.

I cannot wait for you to all read Gone before Goodbye so that we can kiki about every juicy detail.

Go grab your copy right now, and then let's meet back here at the end of the month to talk about all of the twists and turns.

I want to know if you figured it out before I did.

Okay, more about that at the end of the month, and now it's time for Malala.

There's a reason so many iconic songs are about reintroduction.

One of my favorites is Jay Z's public service announcement, allow me to reintroduce myself.

My name is how I promise I'm not going to wrap here.

I also love Amy Winehouse's Back to Black.

She sings that line we only said goodbye with words.

I died a hundred times.

Some stories are placed upon us by the world, by our parents, our friends, our circumstances.

But the most powerful ones they're the stories we claim for ourselves.

And that's exactly what Malala does in her new memoir Finding My Way.

When you are told you are a hero, you're like, well, maybe this is something that I'm expected to live up to now and you have to prove yourself worthy of this attention so much that I thought, like, Okay, you cannot be a normal person anymore.

I feel like I needed time, I needed the exposure, I needed to meet people.

I needed to be there by myself to figure out who I was.

And I'm so happy to be this young woman who I am today.

Memoirs are one of my favorite genre is because they let you step inside somebody else's life in a way that is so intimate, so vulnerable, and really unpolished when a writer really goes there, when they let you in on the messy, the complicated, the contradictions, the embarrassing.

Even you don't just know them better, you catch glimpses of yourself in their story.

Isn't that wild how somebody else's life, no matter how different, can suddenly feel familiar.

So before Malala reintroduces herself to you today, let's remember the version of her the world has held onto.

At fifteen, she was shot in the head by the Taliban for daring to fight for girls education in Pakistan.

Overnight, she became a global symbol, admired, celebrated, but often defined by others' expectations.

Yet Malala has said that public version never fully captured who she was inside, a teenager who wanted to be silly and rebellious and free.

In her memoir, she lets us in candidly on how her true self took shape during her college years at Oxford.

The friendships, the mental health struggles, the crushes, the late night essays, the fashion missteps, junk food binges, and the complicated pull of family.

This conversation isn't just about Malala reclaiming her story.

It's also about what happens when any of us decide to peel back the labels that the world has given us.

So let's turn the page today and meet Malala usaft side on her terms.

Malala, Welcome to the club.

Ah, this is an honor.

I'm such a big fan.

Thank you for this opportunity.

Thank you.

The honor is allmine and all ours.

You are really a feminist icon.

You survived an assassination attempt by the Taliban, and then you went on to become the youngest Nobel laureate Peace Price.

You've graced the cover of British Folgue, You've spoken to world leaders, You've been immortalized as a barbie, and the Malala Fund that you started has given over sixty five million dollars in funds to support education around the world.

And yet this book, your Newest memoir, is just about a girl, a twenty year old girl finding her way, who thought Malala would be relatable.

I think that's why I wanted to share this story, because this is the bio you come across Alata as an activist, and she's doing all of these things, and even when I look at it, I'm like, wow, she must have figured it all out.

But I wanted to share more about what this journey has been like for me.

And I wanted to share more about my college experience, my love life, my activism, all of it, my mental health so that people can get a true picture of who I am as a person.

So this is the most personal reflections I have ever shared, and this is me reintroducing myself.

It is deeply personal.

I told you off camera that I was a little bit shocked at how honest you got in every single realm.

Why did you feel like now was the right time to write the book.

It's hard to know when it's the right time.

I think when I reflected on how my life had been in college, and there's so many events happened in college.

That changed me.

When I think about the malaala who entered on day one to college to the one who graduated, they were completely different people.

Yeah, and if I hadn't had that opportunity, I don't think I would have really grown as a person.

I think the growth element is so important because if you are stuck in one bubble, in one zone, you sort of remain as you are.

And I found it really really hard because for me, all of these conferences and speeches and all of the work and just being like a lonely student and just being around, like, you know, my parents and maybe under their surveillance was really hard, and I thought, maybe this is going to be my life forever.

But in college, I had this opportunity for the first time where I felt nobody was watching.

I was away from family, no work, people around me, and I could do things.

I was like, Okay, Like am I allowed?

Can I should?

I?

I was like, why not?

But I'm so grateful that I went to college because that's where I was a free soul and I learned so much about myself.

I think I learned less from the books and I learned more from the exposure I had just to friends, and these experiences like doing crazy things and learning just more about who I was.

That's the textbook that I wanted to read.

What are the crazy things?

Because you mentioned crazy a few times already.

Yes, So okay, let me share this one story.

Okay, in college, I told myself not to think twice, and I remember one time like this student had no idea who he was, said that, oh, there's this thing called roof climbing at Oxford and you must join me to have that experience.

So my recent college friend and I were thinking about it and we're like, okay, like should we should we not?

And I was like I think I'm up for it.

I want to know what's out there that other people are experiencing.

These young people are experiences that I have not seen, and maybe I'll never see it if I, like, you know, complete my university and go back to my old life.

So I said yes.

I was like, yes, I'm going to climb the college rooftop with you.

And so I showed.

Up at like midnight.

My friend was with me and she stepped back.

Actually she was like, you know, I don't think we should do it.

I was like, okay, but I'm gonna go anyway, And it's a very journey because you are on like the fourth or fifth floor of the college building.

You are about to climb the bell tower, and it's so scary, like one misstep you are gonna fall and you have to like jump across to the other floor.

It's really hard to describe it, but like it is such an adventure, like just the feeling that you are somehow making it through every step.

And then you are finally on the rooftop and you can see the bell tower and you are in this world that not everybody can access right now, and I was like, wow, I think I'm part of the rebellious college kids right now, and I'm doing something that nobody else has done.

And there was this moment where I connected with myself.

I felt a sense of easy, sense of finding like my soul.

It's just really hard to describe, but I will never give felt alive, like I'll never forget those feelings.

So that was just like one moment I had, like many more.

I can imagine.

There's some that are not safe for work and those good private stories, but you know, I was kind of struck by this dichotomy that you're sharing of your private life and your public life, and you really kind of lay it out perfectly on the first page.

Would you read it for us?

Yeah, of course I'd love to.

Okay, I'll never know who I was supposed to be.

Maybe everyone feels that way, curious about the invisible crossroads in their lives, the wrong turns and chance encounters that change everything.

But I am haunted by it, the gulf between how I imagined my life and what it became.

I can't escape the feeling that a giant hand plucked me out of one story and dropped me into an entirely new one.

On a mild October afternoon, a bullet changed the trajectory of my life, cutting me off from my home, my friends, and everything I loved, spinning me out into an unfamiliar world.

At fifteen years old, I hadn't had time to figure out who I wanted to be when suddenly everyone wanted to tell me who I was.

An inspiration, a hero, an activist, but also a wallflower, a punching bag, a paycheck to my parents.

I was an obedient daughter to my friends, a good listener.

When I was alone, I unraveled because the hardest thing to be was myself.

The first time I read that, I got really emotional at that last line.

And if I'm being honest, I think what you're touching on is so universal for women in particular in your early adulthood.

If you're lucky, you have this moment of self actualization and the road that follows is difficult but worth it, and you're sort of standing in one place with this chasm of who you are and who you want to be, and you can see her and you're fighting for her.

Yes, mine started when a guy dumped me on a beach at twenty seven.

These guys seriously causing all work problems.

Right, And last year when I interviewed Reese Witherspoon, she was talking about in her twenties when she had it and she started just reading all these nonfiction books and that really helped her.

What did it look like for you?

What was the unraveling?

For me?

The unraveling was letting myself have the exposure and reminding myself that it's okay to make mistakes, it's okay to not get it right, it's okay to get into trouble.

That is all part of the experience.

I had always put this pressure on myself that somehow I have to know it all or I can't get it wrong, and I am answerable to my parents and my community, and somehow there's this expectation of me.

But in college time, I reminded myself that it's okay to be you.

And you know, if you.

Redefine yourself, if you find yourself in a different place, like that is still a part of you.

And my life changed completely, Like I'm so glad that I prioritized other things other than just like sticking to reading books.

I know I promote education, but I just could not imagine being in a library and not really hanging out with my friends and having that exposure.

So I remember, like one day I was in the library and I had a lot to read and do an assignment, but I watched outside the window and I saw all of my friends were just chatting and laughing, and I was like, I just want to be there.

I just want to go and join them.

Close my book, and off I went, and you head it out.

Yes, but I.

Think there's always just so much happening in college, and I wanted to be a part of everything.

Do you remember the first time that somebody called you a hero.

Oh, like eleven years old and people are calling you a hero because you are an activist, and people are admiring that you are sharing your story at fifteen because they thought that I took a bullet and I survived and I still wanted to speak for my right to education and other girls right to education, that that was making me a hero.

And I'm like, fine, yes, like that is all a part of me.

I'm not saying I'm not an activist and I don't do any of that.

But what I learned along the way was that we have very wrong expectations about what a hero should look like.

That doesn't mean that they no longer have a normal life so much that they are not themselves anymore.

So it's you know, it might feel like I am exaggerating it when I talk about like making friends and having these experiences or staying up late just chatting with friends about astrology and boys and gossip, and you know, like.

What's your sign?

Answer you are, Yeah, Oh, I'm.

A Capricorn, so we're good together.

Yeah, that's very good.

Capricorn is.

I love capricauns and I love cancer.

You guys are emotional and bring that out.

Very emotional, but I think I don't know if my sign explains it, but I just loved being around my friends.

Yeah, and I was there for them and I really cared how I made them feel.

Cancers have this.

More motherly, nurturing personality, So maybe it is my star signs in band?

Will you talk about in the book this group of friends at Oxford?

And I can imagine that finding these women were so important to you because what a lot of people don't know about your story is as soon as you were shot, you were stripped away from everything you knew as well, you were in another country, Like you weren't ever going back to the life or the people you knew.

So you find these girls and how did they help you in this self actualization journey.

Yeah.

So I've made many friends at Oxford, but I just want to share the story of like meeting one friend.

Cora was one of the first few girls I met, and she was studying the same subject as me, philosophy, politics and economics, and like, when I bumped into her, I introduced myself.

She told me what she is studying, and all of that we were chatting about the next essay.

We were chatting about our tutors and how we are finding the work so far.

It was about our plans for the next day.

And I realized immediately that she is the right one because she didn't ask me about the attack, She didn't ask me about the Nobel Peace Prize or something.

She just didn't care what else I was doing outside.

All she cared about was that I was her friend at college and I was a fellow student, and we were.

Just gonna be buddies now.

And like never ever any of these people who I.

Met like brought it up or like randomly asked me.

And I loved that because, of course, this is a part of me and I cannot remove it from myself.

But I also want to grow.

I wanted to learn more about who I am beyond all of these stories that happened like a long time ago in my life, so that I have like more stories to me and these friends help you have those stories.

So Cora was amazing.

You know.

We would go to lectures together, we would do assignments together, and whenever I was struggling with my essays, you would share her notes with me.

But you know, I could tell you that for me in my twenties and now thirties even more so, my girlfriends make me feel normal because I'm like, is this crazy?

Is this weird that I said this?

A guy said this?

Is that normal?

Did you have that?

It's good to have a variety of friends because to some friends you tell something and you're like, am I crazy?

And they're like, no, you're not crazy at all, but you are crazy.

And then there are other friends who are like, you are crazier than you think, and let me tell you, let me be honest with you.

So I love the combination because.

Sometimes you just need that support, somebody who tells you it's okay, you are fine, and at other times you do need somebody to be a bit honest if you and I think I have a mix of all of them.

Like Alice, who talk about in the book, she is very open, she's bluned, she doesn't care, she's like, let me tell you how.

You got it wrong.

You should not be talking to this guy, or like ough, like why would you do this?

And there are other friends who are there who are like it's okay, like everything's going to be fine.

If you're struggling with something, we'll figure out a way.

And it was you know, my friends who helped me in the time when I was going through you know, mental health struggles.

Yeah, I really want to ask you about that, but I do have to ask you first about the other words on that page, because you wrote a wallflower, a punching bag, a paycheck.

You look sad when I said that.

Yeah, this was a part of my life, you know, and you are in the public eye.

People have opinions about you, people have expectations.

But at the same time, I had my own personal life where I had to look after my family and suddenly, like at fifteen hours, supposed to be earning for the family, we had moved to a different place.

My dad's job had changed.

He was a school teacher in Pakistan, and now we're in a new place.

And it's like, you know, okay, so I'm signing a book deal and then I'm doing like this documentary so we'll get some money from that, and that I'm doing speaking engagements.

So I had to be open about that as well, that you know, it's not like we can survive of nothing.

That I had to also, you know, get an income and take care of my family and our relatives and a lot of people in Pakistan as well.

Wow.

And it was hard and it was affecting my studies because it meant I was traveling during my university time.

So I remember there was just one week where I had agreed to go to three countries in a week or so.

Wow.

So I was in Lebanon, I was in Switzerland at Davos, and that I was in Monaco for a private like baid speaking engagement.

And I was so behind in my assignments that my senior tutor called me to her office and she said, we need to talk.

So I was explaining to her, was like, oh, no, these events are really important because you know it's about advocacy for girls education.

And it is true, like some of the gatherings that I did had a huge impact.

Apple committed to support Malala Farm's work and we have been like helping millions of guls through that and at Tavos like that meeting with the Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau helped us unlog like billions of dollars for girls' education.

So they do make a huge change.

But at the same time, like I just could not get away with missing my assignments, and it was hard to explain to my senior tutor why I had to go for a paid speaking event.

I just could not.

I could not tell her.

So I was like, Okay, maybe I need to change things.

But it was only when I took my first like big exams in university, the first year exams, and I did poorly, like it was bad performance.

I nearly failed it that my senior was like, Okay, I think we got to do something about it.

So I was like, okay, I wouldn't travel during university time.

But that's another part of me.

Right.

I have to do work, I have to make money, I have to do activism.

And I appreciate your honesty.

I think a lot of people conflate fame with money too, and so here you are being so well known and people just think, probably you're raking in the dough and really it's a lot to juggle and you have a lot of people you're responsible for.

Yeah, I think my.

Life just took a different ton and I didn't plan that.

I didn't expect that.

So for me, I had to adjust to it.

I'm like, okay, now we are in this place, so how do we adjust this new life.

I want to talk about a different way of self identifying because in the book, you mention WWE and you mentioned it twice, which is twice more than I was expecting.

Malala.

Yes, I'm not a big WWE person, so I look some stuff up.

John Sena was known as the Prototype, Dane the Rock.

Johnson, of course, was known as the Rock, and that really stuck.

Does Malala have a secret wrestling name?

Not yet, But I think I did a lot of wrestling with my brothers.

So I have two younger brothers and like as kids.

No, it was actually like a WWE experience.

The bed would become the wrestling like the ring.

Yeah, and me my brothers we would be like quarreling and fighting all the time.

I just love doing that.

And you know, doing the John Cena move in there and you can't see me?

Wait, what is it?

Oh?

Did you not know this?

John Cena had just like.

It's called you can't see me, Okay, you can't see me, And he would just do this like you like punch you, and then you know, you just couldn't like see, you couldn't move, and then you'd be.

Like, you can't see me.

I don't know why am I explaining this.

That's Fir's a big deal.

It's John Cena has been like my favorite favorite wrestler, and I thought wrestling was all real.

I found out much later than it wasn't scripted.

Yeah, like I would be rooting for him, but I knew a lot of like I knew Ray, Mysterio and Triple H and all of these guys.

Are you a fac or a heel?

What does that mean?

Okay?

So I looked this up Malala, Okay, So a face is like the hero and a heel is the villain.

Faith, you have to be a face?

Right?

Yeah?

Okay, bear with me while I give you this crazy armchair theory.

Okay, but I was reading that in your first book that your full name, and correct me if I'm mispronouncing, is Malalai of Mowan, a famous passion which is a hero and known as the journal of Arc of Afghanistan.

So I was named after her, right, Yeah?

And your dad said he wanted you to be courageous and fearless like her.

Yes, that feels almost like a name prophecy.

That's wild.

Yeah, it is crazy.

And my dad has.

Been this role model to me growing up because he was an exceptional father and an exceptional man in that community of patriarchy.

So I knew my life was different because I had an amazing farmer, and I knew that a lot of my friends, all of those girls, could have a different life if their fathers and brothers and the men were supporting in their community.

So I have admired my father deeply my whole life.

But as I got older, I realized that I had not actually thought about the role of my mother and how exceptional she has been in my life in ways that I didn't see, Like I didn't see her, like it's just so hard to explain, but somehow, like my mom was invisible in my own story that I could not see her.

And so when I got older, and.

When I was in university and when I started thinking about marriage and these kind of things, I suddenly looked towards my mom and asked myself, like, oh, my goodness, Like who's this incredible woman And how did she decide to marry this guy like my father?

And how was she ready to move to a different place and restart her life Because I have like a thousand questions about marriage.

I want to know from my mom how she felt as a woman.

So this mother daughter connection suddenly became so strong.

My mom and I still are figuring out how to get along well, and she still tells me off or like not wearing the clothes that she wants me to wear.

And it's been a whole like you know, journey.

I share a lot of that in the book.

So that's share a yeah book.

Like my father, I've made him.

More into like a side small character.

Yeah, And it's my mom because I see her more.

I see her a lot more.

It's interesting because you've had a lot of opportunities that your mom didn't have, and so there does it feels like there's this gulf between the two of you.

From what I understand, your mom at one point could not even read or write right.

No, So like here you are this ambassador of education.

I can't even imagine the disconnect, and you speak about it pretty honestly and honestly sometimes brutally.

Yeah.

So my mom never went to school, and growing up I wanted to be like my dad, and I knew that I never want to be like my mom.

I was like an uneducated woman no, and not having any career no.

But as I got older, I realized that without an education, they have been so resilient in.

Finding her way through.

All of these obstacles, all of these difficulties.

My mom is a very strong person.

She has been there for me at times, and I just couldn't even like see and like acknowledge and thank her.

She's still a tough mom.

I remember when we were packing for university.

She was like putting in all the Pakistani traditional clothes shelvarkamis, and I was taking them out and putting in like jumpers or like sweaters and cardigans and jeans.

And I would look up on Google Selena Gomez casual where twenty seventeen, like what is trending right now?

Because I want to blend in.

I want to be like.

Any other student.

Why is my mom making me stand out as a Pakistani?

But for her, it was the culture.

It was our traditions and what would the men in our community think about me?

And she just never wanted women's independence and girls' education to be seen as a thread to the community.

And I understood it from her perspective, I think a bit later because I realized that my mom and women from her time had fought for these things like protecting them from violence.

And my mom always said that she was so blessed that her husband, like my dad, was such a supportive guy.

I'm like, every guy should be a supportive guy as a husband, But for her, no, this was an exception.

And she had like protected so many women from being beaten up or being harassed or raped.

And she even saved this girl's life in our when I was a child, and this girl was raped and my mom took her for an abortion and she saved her life.

And if you ask my mom for her opinions, I think she would not, you know, she would not say whatever we think is like politically.

Correct right now.

But for me, it was more her actions that spoke louder.

And I know she's a very strong person, and whenever she tells me something, she's coming from a point of view where she wants to protect me.

But I'm telling her like no, like you know, my fight is slightly different, and I want to break some rules and I want to like redefine these normsortas.

But yeah, and then we love each other.

So when I interview people, they'll tell me some of the most personal things, and they're brave and they're so courageous, and I'm always honored that they feel comfortable telling me, and then after the interview sometimes they'll call and say, hey, I said this thing about my mom.

Can you take that out?

Everything else they leave.

But this is my question to you, because I'm not going to read this whole quote.

I want people to read the book, but you describe your relationship with your mom and who she is, the amazing part of who she is, and then the very difficult part, so much so that sometimes she would punish you physically.

You said you felt short of her standards.

She has not read the book yet, No, are you nervous about how she's going to receive it and about your honesty?

So we talked about star science and I think my mom is a scorpiod.

We don't know how exact data, but but I asked her about the season and the timing and I figured it out that it was around October and November.

And she's a Scorpio.

So she's very firm in her beliefs.

And if she sees this book and she has a problem in something, I think she'll be like, yeah, like, so what's wrong with what I said?

I am right?

Yeah, Like, for example, you know the one story I share in this book, I think I might be giving too many spoilers, but that's okay.

Is when it's like the finally it's the wedding day now, like we're we're getting so close and I have made the decision.

I am ready to marry the love of my life.

And we were trying on the dresses we're going to wear the next day, and my mom looked at ourselves dress and his shoes, and my mom was like, why doesn't he have new shoes?

These are an old pair of shoes.

Initially I was like, yeah, this dress looks fine, everything looks fine.

But as soon as my mom said it, I felt like it just got into my head and I was like, yeah, does he not love me?

Does he not care about me?

Why would he not by like a new pair of shoes?

And is this not a big day for him?

And I feel like such a villain right now when when I tell this story, I'm.

Like, how could I even think like that?

You're a heere?

But I started like texting him and I was like chatting with him and I was like you just don't understand and all of that, and he was like no, Like he would then explain he's all like financial issues and all of that, and he had moved toward you know, I had moved him to a different country and like made him like leave his job and all of that.

Yeah, and he was just he suddenly opened up about his family background and everything.

But that's like not the important part.

The important part was how my mom was sticking to what she thought was right.

And the next day, like I put on my wedding dress everything, I opened my phone and us, I don't know, he had just like forgiven me.

He had moved on, and he had said, like, you know, I can't wait, like you know, we're getting married and all of that.

Because the night before I thought maybe it's over, but.

I really yeah, I was like maybe, but he is such an amazing person.

Like I don't know how you moved on.

I said, like, I'm so sorry, I forget about all of that.

I'm so excited to marry you as well that I found out, like my mom had still brought you.

My new a pair of shoes.

She sounds like a great mom.

She's tricky.

It's difficult to work with her, so you can ether give up or you just don't argue.

Oh yeah, you know.

The clothing aspect is a big part of your book, you wrote to me, they weren't just clothes, they were camouflaged, And to me, that signals this tightrope that a lot of first gen kids have where they're trying to honor traditions of their culture and honor their parents, and also express themselves and assimilate to a new culture they want to be a part of too.

What was the process for choosing what you were wearing on the cover of your book?

You know what, I had a whole stylist and everything, but I told her that for me, it's my head scarf.

That is a huge part of my identity and I want to carry that as a symbol.

And I said, I like pink and these colors, so work around that, and it just worked out really well.

Malala.

I love to ask all of our guests what they've bookmarked this week?

Okay, it can be a quote, a text, you sent a friend, something on Instagram.

What have you bookmarked?

So I was at dece event recently and I met one of my favorite authors, Zadie Smith, and that is bookmarked in my head.

Now.

I just cannot get over it that I saw her.

She is stunning.

She is extraordinary, and I mean like Zadie Smith.

You meet Zadie Smith finally.

So that was just amazing.

She was probably so excited to meet you too, No, I was more excited.

Before we take a quick break, I have even more book news to share with all of you.

Reese's Book Club is now on WhatsApp.

I've been looking for a way to communicate with you all more directly, and this is it.

So when you join our WhatsApp channel, you can stay up to date with the latest Reese's book Club news, the exclusive author content, the latest podcast episodes, voice notes including from me, and the opportunity to read along with us all month long.

And there's even more ways to connect, Okay, from IRL to URL, so you can join Reese's book Club Community city chapters to chat with readers in your area.

If you're located in La New York, Nashville, Charleston, or Saint Louis, you can find your new book besties and engage in fun conversations around our monthly picks.

And it's super easy.

So to join us, download WhatsApp and find Reese's book Club in the updates tab.

Okay, we'll be right back with more.

Malala usaf sign another thing that first and kids struggle with is conversations with their parents around mental health.

And there's a part in your book that I am personally very grateful that you included.

You describe losing your mind in peaces the last year of college through the support that you found and therapy.

How do you understand what happened in that senior year?

Yeah, So I had my first panic attack in college and it was seven and eight years after the incident had happened where I was shot.

And when I think about this whole time, I think like I had recovered from a bullet and I had healed.

So for me, I thought like, we have closed that chapter.

I have moved on, and this mental health thing will never be part of my life because I'd be the last person.

To get it because of what I have overcome.

And many many years later, now I'm in college and I'm like, you know, I have friends and life just feels happy and all seems normal.

And I remember it was late, late at night I was struggling with my economics assignment that a friend texted me and called me, Hey, do you want to hang out in the college gardens?

And I was like, yeah, or why not?

And maybe she might give me her notes who knows, and that could help me in my assignment.

So I showed up.

It was just, you know, some friends and they were trying a bong.

So bong was something I was seeing for the first time.

I had never seen it before, and smoking wheat is very common in college.

So they said, oh, do you want to try it?

And I was like, oh, it's okay.

But I was like, okay, one puff I coughed.

They're like, just one more try.

I was like, okay, last one.

On the second attempt, I inhaled it and I felt it just went immediately into my body and I couldn't process time anymore.

That was a turning point, like my world changed completely.

I could not move.

I felt I just froze, and immediately I started getting these flashbacks of the attack.

I could see the gunmen.

I could feel like I was maybe in the afterlife, maybe I was dead, maybe I was about to die.

Like it just could not feel the senses anymore.

It was, you know, it was like I don't know what to do.

Should I screamed like I want to run, I want to like get out of this, and I could not.

I think it's the helplessness in that moment that really shocks you.

How just time freezes and you are helpless.

I don't know how I made it through the night.

After that, things changed, like I was, I was never the same person again, and even to this day, I don't feel like I can be that person from the past, Like you know, you can never be now.

This is the new you you have to accept.

I wanted it to disappear magically.

I was like, can I just make this vanish?

Because I was so strong yesterday, like it was all fine.

Why did this happen?

My friends helped me initially.

They were like, we know you're going through a difficult time.

You don't have to tell me, you don't have to tell us everything, but we know you're going through a difficult time.

So they were doing sleepovers in my bedroom because I could not fall asleep.

I would be shaking and shivering and I could hear my heartbeat and every time I'd close my eyes, I thought I was I was just gonna about like drown or like die or like you know, fall into like deep or something.

And friends did everything for me.

To be honest, my family that was a tricky part because I tried to bring it up, and I noticed immediately that my mom and my dad just like sort of about like panicking a bit, and they were.

Like, what do you mean?

And then I just shut my mouth.

I was like, Okay, I don't think I can talk to them about just because they just are saying like stay away from all the troubles and like why are you causing these problems.

I was like, they won't understand, they won't understand that I need support, I need something.

I need to talk to somebody about it.

And then in the end, one friend of mine from college told me about a therapist.

And this was like many months later because I kept on having these panic attacks, these flashbacks, the trauma, and it was too much in the end that I was just like affecting everything in my life, from my time with my friends, to my assignments, to everything is just all around.

You cannot escape from it.

She told me that it's quite normal for students to see therapists, and that's when my mental health therapy journey began.

Thanks for sharing that.

How do you feel now?

I feel much better now.

I remember my first therapy session and I told the therapist everything and I was like now give me the medication fix it.

I realized it takes a lot of time.

She helped me.

Understand that we have to embrace it, accept it, take it all in.

And she also helped me understand how thoughts, emotions, feelings and actions are all separate.

We should not be too worried about falling into a spiral and feeling trapped.

She also gave me breathing techniques, like you know, breathing in for seven seconds and breathing out for eleven seconds, and just like putting your hand on your chest and just like being with yourself.

And I also change the way I live my life now.

I try to go outdoors more, go for a walk, eat well, sleep well, run.

Running has helped me so much, play new sports.

These things were affecting my work before when I wasn't doing them right, and it was a big part of my mental health.

But when you work on them, you realize that they are a good way to like It's like a preventative care.

Yes this now, Yes, And I think the most important thing is to know that you can ask for help.

Go ask for help, and for those around you who you think might need help, be there for them.

In the book.

Because of this, you really take us back into your life after the shooting, and you say that people really wanted to know about your pain.

And there's this quote that I want to read back to you.

You describe it as it made me feel like a butterfly with a straight pin through its heart, forever trapped under dusty glass.

In the months after the attack and the years you were doing so much media and all of these speeches, people were asking you the same questions over and over again.

I saw it in all the interviews.

What do you think they were missing?

What did you feel that they weren't tapped into, and what do you wish they'd been asking you?

I think in my.

Posure to media for such a long time at such a young age, made me somehow accept it as a part of my life.

And when you are told you are a hero, you're like, well, maybe maybe this is something that I've expected to live up to now.

I thought it wasn't just the pressure from people that I was feeling.

I internally had told myself that you have to now live up to it, and you have to prove yourself worthy of this attention so much that I thought like, okay, you cannot be a normal person anymore, like love, No, forget about it.

This injury has affected your facial symmetry, Like move on, you know, like these things are never going to be a part of your life.

Friends, No, you're going to be in busy places and you're not supposed to have friends.

These things are a thing of the past, like before you were fifteen, and you can never be a child anymore.

So when I you know, and if this is how you're life is, I'm like, I can't fully blame the journalist because they're like, Okay, I guess that's who you are.

Now you're showing up like like you are getting the prizes and the titles, Like what else are we supposed to ask you?

Like what are you going to do with your life?

Or you know, how are you going to advocate for this, this and this?

Or what do you say to you know, the Taliban, or what do you say to the gunmen who attacked?

When these kinds of questions that I feel like I needed time, I needed the exposure, I needed to meet people.

I needed to be.

There by myself to figure out who I was.

And I'm so happy to be this young woman who I am today and I know that there are so many things that I haven't figured out yet, but I feel okay, I feel that I'll find my way through it.

So that's why I want you to reintroduce myself in this new book, because I think this will give people some guidance on what questions to ask me, Not the boring old one, new questions.

Fun ones.

Yeah, if you're younger, could see this girl, the one that you wrote about in the book, who used to want to be a mechanic.

How would she feel about you?

What would you say to her about finding her way?

Oh, my goodness, I think she would be so proud of her.

She would be like, thank goodness, you know so much pressure.

Thank goodness that you took your time and you experienced things, you made friends, You're happier, you found love.

That is shocking.

I thought you were never going to get married.

I thought we had agreed on that.

What else are you're going to do?

You know?

Yeah, so I think she will be surprised.

You would be happy.

She would be excited and thrilled.

Yeah, okay, we're going to do a quick speed we round.

Okay, so sixty seconds on the clock.

Rapid fire questions are you ready, yes, okay.

What book do you wish you could read for the first time again the twin Ete series.

What's your favorite book to recommend.

Trevorover's Bona Crime.

What's the most real conversation you've had with a world leader behind closed doors?

So one official diplomat meeting, and I won't disclose much information, but they were telling me how it's okay and much better for women now in Afghanistan under the Taliban.

And I told them back that if you take all the women from your family to Afghanistan, like, would you feel comfortable for them?

And then they had no answer.

Yeah, So I.

Was like, that's not a country where women have a future.

What's a tradition or ritual from home that you still carry with you wherever you go?

Drinking tea, offering tea to others?

It's amazing.

What do you call your husband?

Do you call him a pet name?

I call him a lot of pet names, and then some of those pet names offend him.

Offend him.

What do you mean, like, you know, the cheeky pet names that you call them, and then he's like, don't call me that.

I'm like, I will call you that.

I come up with like weird names like my bubble gum, you know, my my sweetheart or my John Cena.

That's funny.

Yeah, I can't see me, you can see me?

Who said that?

I didn't say that, neither did not hear Malala.

Thanks for being a part of our club.

Thank you.

I feel like you gave us this really special stamp.

I'm grateful.

And if you want a little bit more from us, come hang with us on socials.

We're at Reese's book Club on Instagram serving up books, vibes and behind the scenes magic.

And I'm at Danielle Robe r O B A Y.

Come say hi and df me And if you want to go nineties on us, call us.

Okay, our phone line is open, so call now at one five zero one two nine one three three seven nine.

That's one five oh one two nine one three three seven nine.

Share your literary hot takes, book recommendations, questions about the monthly pick, or let us know what you think about the episode you just heard, and who knows, you might just hear yourself in our next episode, So don't be shy, give us a ring, and of course, make sure to follow Bookmarked by Reese's book Club on the iHeartRadio app, Apple podcast, or wherever you get your shows until then see in the next chapter.

Bookmarked is a production of Hello Sunshine and iHeart podcast.

It's executive produced by Reese Witherspoon and me Danielle Robe.

Production is by ACAST Creative Studios.

Our producers are Matty Foley, Brittany Martinez, Sarah Schleid, and Darby Masters.

Our production assistant is Avery Loftis, Jenny Kaplan and Emily Rudder are the executive producers for a Cast Creative Studios.

Maureene Polo and Reese Witherspoon are the executive producers for Hello Sunshine.

Olga Caminwa, Kristin Perla and Ashley Rappaport, our associate producers for Reese's book Club.

Ali Perry and Lauren Hansen are the executive producers for iHeart Podcasts.