Scott Are you ready?

Oh, I'm ready to laugh and loaf and and laugh.

This seventy five year old.

You got two thousand strangers in New York City to smoke a cigarette with him.

Uh, We're going nuts for butts on this episode of Bla bla ba ba ba ba bananast World.

Would you believe.

You?

Mysillion pieces?

Would you do?

Bananas?

Bananas?

Banana?

Bananas.

Bay guys, gals, non binary pals, Welcome to bananas.

Hi, Scottie, Hey, Kurtie b.

We're dedicating this episode to the good and decent people of Warkworth, Canada, population seven hundred and fifty.

Yes, we we were even doing that.

Also, I just want to let everybody know Seattle, Late Ad, Late Ad, Seattle, December thirteenth and fourteenth.

I'm at Emerald City, Emerald City Comedy Club, So come on out.

We just added it because I'm back on the road.

Folks.

Are you guys?

Are you ready?

Are you ready?

Scotty, let's dive in?

Yeah?

Are our guest today?

You might have seen her in Steven Soderberg's Command z damn might have.

She was nominated for a twenty twenty four WGA Award for Writing on that series as well.

You might know her from being part of Just for Laughs, New Faces twenty twenty five or Deadlines fifteen Committeans Ready to break Out in twenty twenty five or Vultures Comedians You Should Know and We'll Know or TBS Comic to Watch, or you can see her in Bradley Cooper's upcoming movie is The Thing On.

Please welcome Chloe Radcliffe back to the show.

Hello, thank you for having me back.

Wellcome back.

Our algorithm serves you up.

Chloe a lot the bananas pop Instagram, I see your JFL performance.

It's literally every time I hit the little magnifying glass to search, you're one of You're on the board.

I'm honored to be on the board.

But you know what, I've had other people say that that video keeps getting reserved to them, which I don't understand.

Why the algorithm doesn't know that you've watched that and now give them a new video of mine.

Now give the more they like it, give them another flavor.

It is so weird.

The algorithm really is the closest thing we have to magic nowadays, where it's just like who knows, I don't know how it works.

Where I don't know how it works, but I know it's a trick.

Yeah, I know someone's lying.

And only the type of person who will focus on one thing harder than the rest of us will ever focus on anything in our lives can understand what is happening for now, and I think the computers are going to take it over.

So wait, we were just before we started.

We were just talking about the fact that you are starting to record a new hour and you're doing it in Denver tonight.

If you were listening to this the day it came out on Tuesday, December tenth, nine, December ninth, then you can go right now to Denver.

You can go to see Chloe record her hour at Denver Comedy under Ground.

Perfect.

You're recording on two separate nights.

I'm recording two shows Monday and Tuesday, December eighth.

You miss that.

It was amazing.

They carried me out on their shoulders.

I crowd they I had multiple standing ovations during the show.

Go tonight.

You need to go tonight?

Why why not?

Why not do it early in late show?

What a question?

Why do you come to me with these things?

Only because I find the second show is always the better show.

Totally, totally, And that's why.

That's why Denver Banana's listeners if last night, if they if people cried from my comedy last night, imagine how good it's going to be tonight.

Yeah.

I think it was that I knew that I wanted to do it on weeknights.

I knew that I didn't want to do a weekend and.

Oh, you're worried that it would be too late for people.

Yeah, I think in New York you can probably get away and look, this is not an insult to the middle of the country.

I'm from the middle of the country.

I love the middle of the country.

Everyone he's coming to the show Denver has been skiing all day long.

They aren't an ipa is.

They've been smoking those fat blunts.

Yeah, they don't.

So, you know, I think what what it would be like A six pm and a nine pm Both of those are times that for normal people in normal places in the country, people are like, the fuck do you mean a six pm show on a weekday or a nine pm show on a weekday?

Dude, I just did.

I just did a ten pm show on a Monday night in New York.

It was just like, what is this real.

Yeah, thats a real thing.

What do these people do?

How are there one hundred and fifty people in this room?

What do you have to do?

Where are you going tomorrow?

Yeah?

It's crazy, it's crazy.

But this isn't just a special.

This is cheat, right you're doing?

This is not cheat.

This is this is an hour.

This is my hour special.

This is an hour of stand up.

This is so far everything that Scotty has said is wrong.

Don't listen to It's a tactic.

It's not my solo show, and it's not on Wednesday, summertime.

It is an hour of stand up and it is on Tuesday to summer ninth.

See now I'm playing the audience.

Yeah, and you are serving up facts and that's what it's all about.

Yeah.

Yeah, that's a trick.

It's a tactic.

So what do you play the new Bradley Cooper movie.

I play a stand up comedian?

WHOA?

So I really outside your wheelhouse?

Yeah?

I had to stretch my acting jobs for this.

You booked it.

You booked it, Chloe.

There are a lot of comics who probably went out to play a comic.

And you booked I have I have been told that a lot of of comedians audition for this role.

I am very honored.

I am a buddy with the guy who wrote the stand up for Bob for Yeah Bob Castram, Yeah.

Yeah, Yeah, he's so awesome.

He's great.

We just worked together at the tonight show.

Oh of course I am no longer working because I didn't know you weren't.

You fucking kept that from me when we were sitting down and having drinks the.

Other day and I didn't say, watch us say goddamn word.

You didn't.

We talked about it for like a full hour and you did not mention.

I think I thought you and I worked there.

Oh no, I did not.

I think I know.

I'm not trying.

I'm never trying to hide it.

I'm always looking for an opportunity to talk about how it how that place scoured me out as a person.

Dude.

It really it scoops inside your soul and just carves.

It out, hollows you out, hollows really crazy, oh really really crazy.

And like it gave me so many things.

It like not even in a like it it, you know, and it taught me a lot, like literally concretely, I I happened and I was there earlier in my career.

Than you were there.

But like, yeah, it very concretely was Domino A that led to Domino B that led the Domino C that led to Domino D.

Like I can like trace it through my career.

I'm grateful to have had that job and incredibly, God did it.

Mess me up?

Yeh, yeah so much.

It's amazing, really well, but again, I you know, I am sitting in a house because of it, So thank God, thank god I had that job.

Heck, hell yeah, let's dive in all right here it is maybe I am very excited to tell you about this.

Now, this is something I saw.

I saw a flyer for this.

In New York Crazy and this was.

An Ola magazine with an extremation point Ola dot com.

And this was written by Jovida Trio.

Really good, really good.

The Internet can be a weird, wild and scary, but once in a while, something viral tugs at your heart strings.

That's exactly what happened last week.

That's it wasn't exactly last week, but it was okay a couple of weeks ago.

Uh, that's okay.

When a seventy five year old Brooklyn man named Bob the cigarette Maestro Terarry invited strangers to share a smoke with him, and thousands showed up.

Bob is an actor and performer and part of a comedy collective called Old Jewish Men.

To promote his smoke filled gatherings, he put flyers gathering.

He put flyers around New York and passed my random people in the park.

It is a flyer that is just a picture of him, an old, older man.

It says Jewish cigarette with me no capitalization.

Then it's just a picture of him smoking, and then a clip art of a cigarette burning, and then it just says Friday, November twenty first, two pm to two h five pm.

He and it's in Washington Square Park and you can rsvp.

There's a little QR code you can rsvp too.

In the flyer, Bob told people to meet him outside Washington Park.

He used the power of social media share videos inviting people and it went viral great.

What happened next was pure magic.

More than fifteen hundred people showed up.

Students, skaters, people on their lunch break, longtime smokers, people of all ages gathered in the park waiting for Bob to light the first cigarette.

He was a star as the crowd chanted bob Bob Bob Bob, let other people's cigarettes, pose for selfie, signed autographs, and made his dream come true.

He signed audit, He signed a lot of people's cigarette packs.

That's great.

I would love to have one of those.

So I wish I had gone.

I mean too, I wish I could have gone, But this was when I was still working, and I did.

I could not leave because that is not allowed.

If you're not smoking, don't start.

And if you are, definitely quit and if you can't quit, come smoke with me, right right, No, he said, at least cut back.

He's trying to be nice.

It looks like the video is the video is crazy.

The video is crazy.

There's so many people.

There's so many people smoking a cigarette with this guy.

Did you guys know smoking's back by the way I could tell smoking his back.

Yeah.

I mean the problem.

The problem is it's the coolest thing.

It looks great.

Yeah, it looks amazing, it feels good, it makes you naughty.

Eat everybody wants to be skinny now.

I mean, it's just it's it's unfortunately better than every other vice.

Yeah, yeah, it looks cool, but uh, do kids still roll?

It was always the ones that rolled their own cigarettes that just drove me up the walls.

I know, I don't think they do.

I know a couple of musicians in Brooklyn.

People in Europe definitely rolled their own.

But I know a couple of musicians in Brooklyn who Scotty.

Musicians in Brooklyn.

Yeah, they're probably They're the same as people in France.

Yeah, you would push them off the fire escape that they are standing on rolling a lucy for you.

Yeah, yeah, you would go how many?

How many stories up are we?

I think this is I don't know if you're gonna s yep, gladly.

You know what I loved about the self rolls, though, is the little box, the little box where you like put it all in and then you closed the box and a perfectly made cigarette pops up the top.

Have you ever seen those?

Oh?

Yes, I have, So those are cool.

What you're saying is you like machine?

I love machine?

I love them.

Yeah, I love a zip I love a zippo.

You know, I love all that shit.

Honestly, smoking a cigarette with a zippo is one of the true joys of course life.

Yeah, of course.

Well the problem is that as you're trying to get like healthier and more responsible.

Nothing is safe anymore, like nothing is allowed anymore.

And I don't mean safe like you're gonna hurt yourself.

It's like you can't eat that that's not safe.

You can't walk over there, that's not safe.

There's nothing, there's like nothing is nothing is okay anymore.

They also came out I just went to the doctor and she was like, so now they're saying no drinking is the only safe drinking.

Yeah, And I was like, but for but for fifty years, it was two drinks a day was okay.

And now all of a sudden, it's just no drinking.

It's just like you can't just continue take everything away from us.

Yeah, yeah, and probably probably they're right, no drinking is the safest drinking.

But sure, yeah, we used to We used to live.

Until thirty five.

Now we can get to seventy five and have liver cancer and then die.

What do you want to get to eighty eight?

No fucking one, great point?

Or do you want to get to eighty eight and not drink the whole time?

Like if I'm going to eighty eight, I'm gonna be if I make it to eighty eight.

I'm never not gonna have a thermos and alcohol in one of my hands.

I'm right sorry.

I met a woman who was going through AA in her eighties and her husband had died and she kind of had nothing else to live for, and she just drank black coffee and I was like, baby girl, you should drink get.

Back, get back on.

You gotta numb this somehow well.

Funny you such to that because Chloe and I grab drinks about I don't know, three weeks ago or so, and okay, he went to a bar that's known for having very good cocktails.

How would you rate scale one to ten, ten being the best drink, one being the worst drink.

The drink we ordered.

I would say I would rate it, uh, I would rate it like an h like it doesn't live on the scale, on the number scale, you know, like that it.

Was not no, it's not even it wasn't even bad.

I drank my whole thing.

I drank the whole thing too.

Yep, but it was it was like so unrecognizable as a cocktail that it was sort of like imagine, imagine if you put like sugar in some dirty dishwater and then you put.

Cream cheese on top of that.

Correct, you would be like, I can't rate this as a cocktail.

There's no what's the place, what's the drink?

Okay?

I took a photo of the menu because it was so bad and I knew Chloe's going to come back on.

The drink was called Secrets of Inheritance.

So already a problem.

Yeah, that should that should be your first one.

Trying to punish people.

They're trying to punish people.

That they really are.

It felt like a punishment.

Here's the list of ingredients on the menu, and we still went with it, but also cloning arm are like, we have to try this.

It sounds horrible, and we were ready.

Graham cracker, crust, gray goose, that's one ingredient.

That's one.

That's the first thing on the list.

The first ingredient is already confused.

They've infused vodka with graham cracker.

That's something is like, you can't there's no way to make that without chemicals, you know what I mean.

There's no way.

They took graham cracker, crushed it, crushed it up and let it sit and then strained it out.

No, that is just chemical editions.

Okay, go ahead, Second ingredient sick high rice beverage.

Okay, all right, so this is a confusing foreign's taste.

Well, let's up the any a little bit.

Third ingredient Korean fish sauce.

No, you didn't know.

You did not order that drink.

Fourth about the order, not even the drinking.

We were happy either.

Yeah, Fourth ingredient, Hannah mac Gioli taxs you sixteen.

Don't know what any of it is.

Couldn't couldn't fin fifteen.

Was better tack t a k j u.

So maybe it's like a soju.

Maybe ingredient five cream cheese foam.

It's actual cream cheese.

It dominated the whole thing because you could smell cream cheese right under your nose.

Every six.

A fish sauce bagel as ingredient six.

Just to top it off, just to let you know they're trying to ruin your life.

Pink sugar sprinkles.

This is a real drake that Chloe and I.

Got you of that we got two of you got Oh no, I mean like one per right, okay, one per.

Imagine Imagine a world where anything you're going to consume has both fish sauce and pink sugar sprinkles in the same list.

So upsetting the secrets to inheritance is that you want to murder yourself.

Where was this place?

Where was it in Los Felis.

It's a it's a big bar, you could say, and uh, I would go back again to the bar.

Okay, I'm looking up.

Okay, So Hannah tacked you is Korean rice alcohol?

But then isn't the other one also rice alcohol?

Yeah, yes, Sikai rice beverage.

So basically, if you can sit there and imagine putting an half a shot of vodka in your mouth and then biting a gram cracker, eating a spoonful of rice dunked and fish sauce, and then smearing cream cheese over your tongue.

And we did that, and.

It's almost like a Philadelphia roll drink, Yeah, because Philadelphia.

D delicious, Yes, with a s'more like with a yeah, with like a marshmallow in it.

Yeah.

Yeah.

It's insane, And it was hilarious to watch each other be like, yeah, we're adventurous, we like new things, and then just looking and being like, boy, fucked up.

I Yeah, it would only have been better if you and I were talking about a divorce at the same time, we're like, all right, it didn't work out for us.

Let's have a drink and work this out, and just looking at each other like you're eating racket balls.

Yeah.

I love to ask the server, like, what is the weirdest thing on the men, because I'm sort of like everything has a gin and honey, everything has a their twist on an old fashion, right, But like I'm always like, surprised me, shock me, and you know how rare it is for me to actually be shocked.

This place shocked me.

Credit to them, Credit to them.

I used to do the same thing.

We wud occasionally get a shift drink at some of the restaurants.

I waded in and I would make the bartender happy by saying, what bottle have you never touched before?

And they would usually grab Galliano, which is Galliano is like the really tall, almost triangular bottle.

It's it's three times larger than every bottle.

And the only drink any of them knew how to make with that was a Harvey wallbanger.

So there I was at twenty four, just slugging back Harvey wallbangers.

I don't even know what a Harvey wallbanger is.

I think it's Golliano gin and orange juice.

I think what's golle on?

I don't know if it's a cordial.

It used to be a big drink in the eighties, seventies and eighties.

It's a it's a but it's a not great and there's a reason nobody ever touched it.

Dram Bowie.

I used to drink a lot of dram Bowie because nobody ever ordered it.

It's at every bar.

And that at twenty four, give me the drink that no one's drank.

I would say, what bottle have you never used since you've worked here?

And they would turn around and be like, you know, I've never used, and then they would just grab it and then they would make something.

Out of that great amazing.

They were happy because you know it would also they wouldn't get caught if they gave me a huge poor because nobody else was everything else.

So do you remember what your first sip of secret alcohol was?

Clay like when you were a young person where you had a friend's house, who's dad had a bar, or your mom.

Last my first like secret alcohol that I wasn't my my much older cousin, my cousin who's fifteen or twenty years older than me, gave me a glass of white wine at a wedding when I was probably like fourteen, and I remember being like, this is disgusting.

This is the.

Worst thing I've ever put in my body.

And I didn't finish the whole glass.

I like, I don't.

I don't remember.

I didn't get drunk.

I like had so little of it because I thought it was terrible.

But the first time that I ever got drunk was the summer after high school at a friend's house, and I got drunk the first shot that I took.

I took my first shot that night of Bacardi.

One fifty one sure, and I thought that that is what alcohol was.

And so I just like learned.

I was like, this is it.

This is the experience.

I don't understand why people like it, but like, this is you better get used to it.

And so it meant that I immediately was very good at taking shots because I just learned on the worst shot.

Yeah that's good, call smart.

Yeah that's smart.

Kurt.

Do you remember your first like clandestine sip of booze?

Wan is brutal, brutal, you can light it on fire.

I remember the time I got drunk.

I remember the first sip.

I think maybe the first sip was it was a beer.

It was a beer in an attic, in an attic during the summer, out at a kid's house who had a skate ramp in his backyard, and we're listening to Jack and Diamond and we're trying to drink a beer.

And it was hot.

I was gonna say that sounds like a hot humid.

Yeah, it was a terrible place to drink a beer.

But the first time I got drunk was I was twelve, and I was my sister, who's much older than me, got married in Germany because she married a German Man.

And in Germany, like kids drink, and so no one gave a shit.

And so it was just Bellini's that were being served at like ten am, and they were all just going around and I just kept taking them and taking them, and then I grabbed like a full bottle of champ pain.

I was just drinking a bottle of champagne.

And then I just continued to drink wine all day long.

Like for the first time I got drunk, taking a boat to a castle in Germany where they have a reception I'd be like, they did it up.

It was a crazy, crazy wedding because his parents had like money, and it was like insane.

Wow, what a bummer.

It must have been off your rocker.

It was also like, that's imagine why I enjoy a drink.

The first time was on a boat in Germany.

Castle.

Yeah good man, Yeah the best.

Yeah, Billini's are delicious.

I don't know why Mimosa's took him over.

Billini is so much more delicious.

So there was this Okay, so there.

Was a story of getting drunk the first.

Mine's not quite as bougie.

So we would ride bikes everywhere.

We were nineties kids, so we'd just leave the house all day and we went over to my friend Emmy's grandparents' house.

They had a really cool Victorian home in Glendon, Maryland.

I think Emmy lives there now and inherited the house, I mean.

And they had a full bar because they were a huge beer distribution family.

They are companied at Anheuser Bush up and down the East coast, so they had everything you want and they had a full bar.

And we looked at the whole bar and we kind of did the same thing.

Were about six of us over summer break.

I was probably in sixth grade, seventh grade, so ten or eleven, And so we got into krem Demnth of course because it was green and it smelled so good, and so we all passed the bottle around but we didn't drink, and then we you know, topped it off with a little water to raise the level back up.

And then we all went riding and this one kid named Charlie.

We get on our bikes, we ride across railroad tracks.

We ride up the first hill and he gets hit by a car.

No way, totally fine, okay, but the driver gets out starts screaming at him, and I just kept riding.

My friend and I were like not getting involved.

Of course, nobody's in a helmet.

We all thought we were drunk, even though we were not drunk.

It was basically listerine levels of drunk.

But yeah, the first time was like zip zip sip.

And then we got on bikes and within two minutes one of the people got hit by a car.

Jesus, oh, pretty awesome.

And my buddy Andre and I'm probably Emmy whose grandparents house.

It was.

Just kept on a riding.

We were like not today I'm not going.

To San Quentin today, just San Quentin for having.

Do you know what they do to eleven year old me in prison?

Not good?

So this is something the krem Demn thing made me think mine delicious.

My dad came to my college once because he was having there was like a college reunion for him, and it was like one of the he was the only time he ever visited me period, and so we're like, we're going out with him afterwards, and it was like I was going to be like I was nervous, very nervous.

Obviously never really hung out with my dad as a person, and I was twenty one.

So I drink.

We went to a place in Baltimore on the water.

Still have no idea where it was.

It was on the water.

We sat outside, I asked for a drink.

I think I just said, like, give me a drink with a lot of alcohol.

I think I said smart, And he made me a drink that I believe was called a white Spider and it had creme dement in it and it was just minty.

Have you ever looked great hard alcohol the ingredients?

Is it a white spider?

Are you looking up white Spider?

It is you're not kidding, Bud.

It is three parts vodka, half part crem dements, shaken with ice, rained into a chilled or cocktail or coupe glass.

Coup glass, yeah, you were, Or you can use Aqua Bianca licur.

It's a sleek and minty cocktail that blends clean, neutral taste of vodka with the sweet, refreshing flavor of crendamn white.

It's splitting crazytad.

With your German dad at Bay Cafe and Fells and Canton.

Damn dude.

I like that the I feel like bartender and server are even aware of a white spot.

What a weird choice.

Also, that's a Baltimore's choice.

I feel like you have to be wearing sunglasses while you drink a.

White Yeah yeah, not on the Chesapeake Bay in Baltimore.

Wow, give me a story, Scottie.

You got it.

Speaking of horrible cheeses and getting arrested, Cassie sent this one.

You can send your stories into the Bananas Podcast at gmail dot com or the Bananas Podcast on Instagram.

Drug dealer jailed after sharing a photo of cheese.

This was written by Rob Pitchetta, who's so good at cheese crime.

You best, Rob, Pitchetta.

It should be Cheddar, but he just he's too cool.

So it's Robpitchetta at CNN dot com, which is sort of real.

A drug dealer whose fingerprints were analyzed by police when he shared a photo of his hand holding a block of cheese has been sentenced to thirteen years in prison.

Oh my, so he was just holding cheese in a photo and they scanned his fingertips because he's holding it.

I'm showing them he's holding it like this, so it's like it's not he's not gripping it.

He's just clutching this cheese.

Wait wait, read it, Read it again.

A drug dealer whose fingerprints were analyzed by police when he shared a photo of his hand holding a block of cheese has been sentenced to thirteen years in prison.

Carl Stewart, thirty nine years young from Liverpool, Northwestern England, sent a picture on an encrypted device of a block of Stilton cheese he had found an upmarket British grocery store.

Marks and Spencer mary Sides Police said in a press release the.

Photos was discovery sending it to just a buddy.

Ya signal or something, you know, using something off the photograph was discovered by police.

Well, they might have had a you know, I've seen television shows.

They might have had a fake phone number that they were texting with this guy with rights.

That's the new that's the new trap for criminals.

Hey, uh, show us what options you're considering at the grocery store.

Yeah yeah, instacart just busting people.

Great idea.

By the way, there's no way.

There's no way you're getting Canbert right now.

There's no way.

Prove it, prove it.

Oh real.

The photograph was discovered by police who analyzed it.

Authority said Stuart's quote love of Stilton cheese end quote led to his arrest, and.

It was Stilton, I love it the most British g's out.

There, agreed.

He was jailed on Friday after pleading guilty to conspiracy to supply cocaine, heroin md M A and ketamine and tran and to transfer criminal property.

Stuart said the Stuart sent the image on end crow chat.

I've never heard of.

End crow chat chat.

That sounds like a very British signal.

E E n c r O end crow chat an encrypted messaging service used exclusively by criminals.

Okay, all right, all right, all right.

That's cool.

I hope.

It's a question when you're signing up, are you a criminal?

Proven the capture that you are a criminal?

Thing you would steal?

Which of the these items is illegal?

Shoot your phone these pictures of pills.

Choose the ones that are mdmature.

So uh.

Encrow Chat was infiltrated by police in a major operations.

It was major hmmm.

Carl Stewart was involved in supplaying large amounts of Class A and B drugs, but was caught was caught by his love of Stilton cheese after sharing a picture of a block in his hand on encrow chat.

Detective Inspector Lee Wilkinson said in a statement, his palm and his fingerprints were analyzed from that picture and was we were able to establish that they belonged to Stewart.

Crazy.

They had his fingertips, the fingerprints okay, yea, or they had them or they had them in the National regis.

The data bank.

Yeah, they had them in the data bank.

So it wasn't from a crime scene.

So they just needed to know if the hand holding the Stilton was.

Oh they knew maybe they knew the handholding the Stilton has a lot of drugs.

Also is a guy who has a lot of drugs and we don't know who the hand.

Is exactly interesting.

Yeah, yeah, that's what it was.

Hilarious.

You know, this guy loved cocaine and cheese.

Yeah, the fine, finer things in life.

I can't imagine doing cocaine.

You'd want to eat cheese, right, I mean that doesn't seem like a natural pairing.

No, no, no, not at all.

Okay.

Anchor Chat, which offered a secure mobile phone instant messaging service, was a criminal marketplace used by sixty thousand people worldwide for coordinating and distributing illicit goods money.

So it's sort of like it's what Silk Road.

It seems a little bit like that, money laundering and plotting to kill rivals.

My goodness, Stuart is not.

This is like sometimes, you know, Chloe, we do a lot of stories where the journalist or just writer will give you three paragraphs at the beginning about why they wrote about this, and it's always the most boring stuff.

It's not facts.

This is the opposite, because I feel like they stick the landing on this so well, and I'm going to do this story in the future episode.

Stuart is not the first person to be arrested after making an unforced air great blanket statement.

In twenty sixteen, two unfortunate robbers held up a McDonald's and France, only to discover that eleven armed members of an elite paramilitary force were eating there at the same time.

As Oh, those are my favorite stories.

The SWAT team needs a burger too.

Yeah, man, it's better over there.

God.

So anyways, don't use encrow trat and don't post pictures of your bare hand holding cheese.

Guys, that's just just a teachable moment for us.

Wow, I mean, give it up.

The detectives involved in that, Like, that's kind of amazing, Like we're not doing that.

I don't, Kurt.

I think you're giving them more credit than they than they're due.

I think I think give it up for I feel like they probably use like AI to analyze the fingerprints or something like.

That's you know, like that's amazing technology.

But I'm gonna.

Say for the detectives to get into encrow chat feels like that feels like step one.

You know, that feels like go to the club where people keep overdosing.

You know, It's like that's I would say that is like one oh one detective work.

Go go to that place where there's a lot of criminals where it advertises for crime.

Yeah.

Also, the most like the closest I ever came to this was back when people had landlines.

I was really good at timing when somebody else would pick up the landline and I would too, so I could just listen on a phone call.

I'd be like watching somebody across the house and be like and now and then I would just spy on my friends talking to their girlfriends.

Who and then you would hold your hand over like the thing and just yeah, that's funny.

And I was good at that.

Let me tease you into some oh thumbs ups.

Indeed, here this one's easy.

Good Giant cap Beaslaur's police to drug rest.

Giant Capa leads police to a drug rest.

That's good Nature's boats.

Everybody loves a cappy thumbs ups.

This is a time sensitive one too.

December eleventh, which is two days after Chloe is recording in Denver at Denver Comedy Underground her hour long comedy special.

Do you have a title for that special yet?

The tentative title is Dibbs.

That's good, although other options are eyes down here, oh yeah, and other options are all baby, no sexy.

Oh yeah.

That's a good joke too, A lot of your jokes, Chloe.

It's December eleventh, two days after you're in Denver watching Chloe.

You can go to Sacramento so for the Sacramento Ban Animals.

I guess that would also be like folsome and stuff.

Samantha is letting us know her father, Tom Campbell, wrote a book.

She's thumbing him up because he's also turning eighty years old.

So he wrote a memoir called The hay Seed, which you can buy on Amazon.

I bought two copies, Kurt.

If you it's a memoir.

If you want to go to his book signing, which is also secretly an eightieth bird surprise birthday party, you can, and you definitely should.

Sacramento Ban Animals support an eighty year old man who wrote a book.

I mean, come on, you can DM our bananimal at Sam campseyes on Instagram.

That's Sam like regular Sam camp ses is c a mp s I e s on Instagram.

Get the details, and Samantha says it's never too late to follow your dreams to thumbs up to Tom Campbell for writing The hay Seed, which you can buy on Amazon, or you can go get him to sign a copy.

DM.

Samantha Juliana or Juliana de la Montana.

My favorite name.

That's a Bananamal I told her.

I just love that name, so good.

Tanya wants to thumb herself up for her last day of working for Elon.

Hell Yeah, thumbs up and double thumbs up for having just an incredible name.

Okay.

Kara or Cara, I don't care here wants to thumb give herself a shameless thumbs up.

In the past three months, she has been navigating early perimenopause and endometriosis, Flara depression, separating from her partner fourteen years, losing furry companions, working Christmas retail god, and she adopted a new kitten.

But Kara says she is still standing, and she wants to give herself a deserved pat on the back for not falling into a pit of despair.

Yes, so double thumbs up, Kara.

That is a lot going on, but you're still standing.

Good for you.

That's nice class but not least this is a sweet one.

Caroline wants to give her dad huge thumbs up.

He has been working little by little to refurbish his nineteen fifty nine jeep.

He's been working on it for years and finally got it up and running just in time to drive Caroline and her husband away from their wedding back in September.

It was so cool to have that jeep as part of our big day after years of watching it slowly get fixed up.

And she sent pics of she and her husband kissing in the back of this nineteen fifty nine jeep being driven away from this ceremonia.

That's awesome.

So thumbs up to you, Thumbs up to everybody, thanks for sending to man.

And of course you can send your thumbs up too, or your strange news stories to The Bananas Podcast DM him on Instagram or the Bananas Podcast at gmail dot com.

We are here with the inimitable and fantastic Chloe Radcliffe.

True, you know, I feel like it's never too late to follow your dreams.

Is sort of the is sort of like a theme that has run through today because it also was the old guy smoking cigarettes in the park.

True that he's now, he's now a celebrity.

He's you know, I bet that he spent his whole Like, I bet he's been an entertainer for his whole life.

I bet he's wanted this kind of celebrity and this kind of celebration and now he has it.

Also, Yeah, I love an old man who still smokes.

Of course, he has committed that is commitment seventy five and still smoking.

He probably starts smoking when he was ten, like he is sixty five years of smoking.

I like that he's smart enough to say it's going to be for five minutes.

That's my favorite detail from two to two o five or whatever it was.

That's actually the most comedic moment.

Yeah, a lot of people over the years.

You know, we have a lot of friends that are social smokers, especially in college in Brooklyn, and they would always be like, you know, we're deep in some drunken conversation about truly nothing, and they're like, come outside, smoke a butt with me.

Smoke a butt.

And every time I would smoke a cigarette with a friend, which is maybe twenty five times in my entire life, I was always like, I think I'm doing this too fast, because I felt like cigarettes would go away so fast that I understood why you could smoke a pack a day because they really don't take very long.

But I was probably also inhaling.

I was gonna say, Scotty, your tolerance for substances, I think is very high.

I get this two or three drags into a cigarette, and I am like, on the third or fourth I am nauseous.

Smoke so slowly, and I love I love the first two or three drags, but I have to smoke so slowly.

I've made the mistake of trying to stub it out and save it because I'm the cheapest person I've ever met, so I'm like, I don't want to waste half a cigarette, and I've put it behind my ear and it smells.

It's the worst smell I've ever smelled in my entire life.

It's worse than burning hair.

There's nothing worse than a half used cigarette.

I'll tell you what is worse than a half you cigarette.

I know exactly what it is, which is because when I was eighteen, me and three of my friends were driving down to Baltimore from New Jersey and we decided we're on the highway and it was cold out, and so we kept the windows rolled up and then smoked cigarettes in the car the whole way.

And then my car smelled with no windows open through four people smoking and my car smelled like that.

Like that, time's ten anytime I got into my car for six.

Months, it was Jesus off.

It was so terrible.

I mean, you know, do make make dumb choices?

You know, you find out, But that is it.

You want me to read this?

Yeah, hit it up.

Peruvian police use Kapa Bearra costume to lure, arrest it and lure and arrest suspected drug dealers.

This is an ABC seven so funny.

This was sent him by Copyhaste.

Thank you, copy Haste.

The man dressing up Oh, this is written by the digital.

Team Noble Swinging Digital team in Peru.

Nobody wants the guy in a costume story.

This was on ABC seven.

Dressing up as an animal might just be the best way to catch a suspect.

Exclamation point, which is rare in journalism to see an exclamation point.

That's right, get that's what police, Yeah exactly, this is why it's the digital team.

Nobody wanted to That's what police in Peru did.

A police officer in a Kappa Bera costume captured a suspected drug dealer on Friday, body cam foot shows the costumed official holding of Valentine's Day gift.

The disguised officer then charges into the home when the door is open and pins the suspect down.

This is the same police unit that used a similar strategy last year, wearing a Teddy Bear costume to lure a suspect.

Oh genius needed to get the door open.

I guess this is really definitely seems just like someone describing a video.

There is no reporting here whatsoever.

Doesn't need any what I saw on World Starve.

A lot of our also, a lot of our stories, or at least the ones I choose, are that it's just somewhat describing a reel that they saw.

But great, I would love a Capy Bearer costume.

I've never seen a Capy Bearer costume, and I think that'd be a real hit.

How accurate is this costume?

Not?

Well, you know, not very But it has the head right and then the body kind of looks like a hippopotamus.

I guess, Okay, so it's more of like a furry situation, like it's something that a furry would wear.

Yeah, it's a big or a mascot.

It looks more like a mascots Okay, yeah, yeah, if there was a mascot for a you know, the largest road.

And sorry, why did they need to dress up as a cafe Bera.

To get him to open the door.

So he was outside the door with the hot Valentine's Day gift.

He opens the door and then and then the capa Bera tackles him.

That's the best part about the video.

Hell, it's not other cops.

It's the Cappa beerra who just goes and takes them down.

And then cops run in and wow.

You'd be it works if you got arrested by a cape Bera.

No, you would never be allowed back on n crow chat.

If you got taken down.

By a cave be it would just be you and the cheese guy, though, you'd have to find your own band forever ENCRYPTI channel.

Oh man.

That's pretty funny though, because like you could think of all the human things.

They're like, ah, you could send a guy to check the water meter and they're like, they're never going to open the door for that.

You can be like you can send a package, like a delivery guy, and they're like, no, never gonna happen.

You're like, how can we trick these Peruvians?

Well, last year.

Teddy bear work.

A teddy bear worked pretty good.

And then that same guy didn't know that, so like a year later he's like, it's not a teddy Bear, it's a cavy bear.

This is totally different experient.

They've got the head right, the body looks like a hippo, but they've got they do have.

I want to see this costume.

Oh man, that's so cool.

You want me to wrap it up with one?

Yeah, just give us the title.

Well, I might give you the whole thing because it's only six sentences.

Okay.

Jordan sent this in.

Thank you Jordan, you send a lot of good stories.

My friend American student ends up trapped in a giant vagina sculpture.

I thought we have done this one.

It just happened like two days ago.

This is the second vagina American trapped like me.

I swear to God we did this one before.

Go ahead, No, this one's brand spank.

I know that, But I mean I think a person got stuck in.

This, oh, the same vagina years ago.

Yes, yeah, it's a Germany.

They'll get you, man, they'll get the very tight vagina.

They'll get you American Exchange students sparked extraordinary rescue mission when his leg became trapped inside a giant vagina sculptor.

It was a Dare Fire Department.

Squad leader Marcus Moser told NBC News the young man tried to pose for an unusual photo mm hmm and climbed inside the artwork.

A total of twenty two workers with special equipment were deployed to the scene in southern Germany.

M hmm.

They needed twenty two.

That's that's amazing because German efficiency.

That means there was they used every person.

Yes, this happened on Friday last week to free the twenty year old.

But a forceps delivery was not necessary.

That's not even a great joke.

That's sort of like they wanted.

To avoid a c section.

Yes, that's why they needed so many people.

We were able to pull the victim out of with our bare hands after twenty minutes.

Moser said.

The six foot replica of female Genitalia was installed thirteen years ago outside of Microbiology and Virology Department in the city of Tubingin or Tubingin, it is worth and again ending with a great sentence, if you had to guess how much a third?

How tall is this?

A six foot vagina?

Was two hundred thousand US dollars.

I love it that they've just given the price.

Money well spent.

Wow, Chloe, Where can they find you?

Where can they buy tickets today?

To see you tonight?

Well tonight, I'm in Denver.

Tomorrow I'm gonna be stuck inside of a vagina sculpture, but thank you.

Tonight I am at Denver Comedy Underground.

Tickets are available on my website Chloeidcliffe dot com, or there's a link in all of my bios on all my socials, which are all at Chloe Badcliff like my last name Radcliffe but bad But yes, it's at the Denver Company Underground tonight, seven thirty December ninth.

You should come.

Bananimals, go dresses.

Bananas will look great for the taping.

If she has a couple of bananas, Yeah, get the little yellow heads.

In there, get your super brews, put on your at Leisure slide inside of banana costume and represent Denver.

Get in there.

I'm doing my I am doing and Scotty, I'm doing my solo show Cheat, which you brought up on Friday of this week.

December twelfth in New York.

So that's it.

Ours Nova, all.

These tickets, Ours Nova is still going.

Ours Nova's still going.

Man, We're still out there.

Yeah, it's great.

That's good to know.

All tickets are on my website Chloreadcliffe dot com.

Go check that out.

Great show.

I loved it so how we became friends.

I went and saw it so good.

All right, Well that'll do it.

Thanks to everybody on Exactly Right.

Thank you Chloe, Thank you, Curdie B.

Great to see you, and congratulations on your newfound freedom.

Friend.

Congratulate Bananas.

Put it on a shirt.

Bananas is an Exactly Right media production.

Our producer and engineer is Katie Levine.

The catchy Bananas theme song was composed and performed by Kahon.

Artwork for Bananas was designed by Travis Millard.

And our benevolent overlords are the great Karen Kilgareff and Georgia Hartstart.

And Lisa Maggott is our full human, not a robot, part time employee.

You can listen to Bananas on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts, and please feel free to rate and review as many times as you can.

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