Navigated to Wolfing Down the Kia Kids - Transcript

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1

Scott you ready, Courty b I'm just right, huh.

Laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh.

Speaker 2

Ohio.

Woman who had her car repossessed by the dealer takes legal ownership of dealership name in a revenge move.

Speaker 1

For the ages.

Oh man, She's putting the entire world on blast.

That's so good.

Well, the name of the game on this episode is you know, Bananas World.

Would you?

Speaker 2

It's not my sillion pieces?

Speaker 1

Would you?

Speaker 2

Bananas by Banana Banana Bana guys, gals, non binary pals, Welcome to Bananas.

My name is Kurt Brown.

Speaker 1

Older and I'm the one.

I'm Banana Boy number two.

Scottie landis thank you.

This is the silliest little podcast there ever was.

Strange news, good times, great oldies.

We're just happy to be here and happier listening.

Speaker 2

Oh hey, how you doing by?

Speaker 1

Hey?

Yeah, I'm so good.

I'm I'm feeling you know.

It's been a lovely summer in Los Angeles.

I think everybody is looking at the world and going what the age is going on?

I'm doing that too.

But at the same time, my friends are good, My family's good, You're good.

Podcast is fun.

Dog's good.

I got a lot to be grateful for, and I'm very grateful.

Speaker 2

I think that's the only way we get through this.

I think it's the yeah, here, we get through this, look and try and be as grateful as we can for the things that we have.

And so yes, I want to shout out to all the things I have to.

Speaker 1

Be grateful for.

Speaker 2

I will not listen to all of them for you, but I am very I'm very grateful in general and in specific, but mostly I'm grateful that we get to do this together, because I who I don't I left Los Angeles.

I left Los Angeles like a like a like a bad out of hell.

But I still get to talk to you.

This is importent.

Speaker 1

I agree, it's wonderful and I'm so glad that we get to do it.

And my my parents came to town.

They visited for a week from Maryland, which is very lovely.

We had a wonderful trip.

We had great, great meals and great chats and caught up.

I found all the family gossip and you know, all the good stuff for our family visits.

So we we go up to Idlewild.

Have you ever been up there?

Yeah, it's in the mountains.

Speaker 2

Never been, can you believe that you'll really like it.

Speaker 1

I'll make sure we should maybe even do a little show up there, because they do have little theaters.

We can actually do a show for like thirty bin animals and then also stay up there.

Yeah, and I actually probably have a really nice time.

So the mayor is a Golden Retriever of Idlewild.

I think it's Newsmax and we you and I have a friend who has a little mountain house cabin up there, and I asked her, Hey, my parents are in town.

Can we stay there?

I want to show them a new part of California.

Yes.

We go, lovely, great times, eating good food.

My parents stay in the upstairs bedroom.

There's an upstairs bathroom.

It is above the downstairs bedroom where I'm staying.

Downstairs bathroom.

Second morning we're there, I just hear like a thud, not like somebody falls, just like you drop something heavy.

Yeah.

So I see my mom about I don't know.

Forty minutes later, it's probably six thirty seven am, and she goes, did you hear that?

I go what?

She goes, there was a tarantola in the bathroom.

I go, really, She goes, yes, I go, Okay, are you okay.

She goes, yeah, I just sprayed it with hairspray, and your dad hit it with a shoe and we flush it down the toilet.

Oh my god.

So they handled it so fast, like just like they both grew up on farms in Maryland.

That's true.

They both grew up on farms, so they just handled it like two farm kids who are now adults.

Wow, my mom didn't scream.

She got up in the morning, saw tarantula in a bathroom and on her first instinct was I'm gonna spray this with hair spray to neutralize the threat.

And then my dad goes, here comes the wrecking crew.

He said he thought about picking it up, and then he goes, you know what, and then he just killed it first and then put it in toilet paper and flushed it.

They were like, do you want to tell Molly and our friend that owns house, And I said, yeah, I will tell her because that seems like a translate upstairs to knock in the front porch, not in the entryway.

Yeah.

So I text her.

She goes, oh my god, I'm so sorry.

That's so crazy.

She's freaking out, like, I'm so sorry, that's insane.

I'll have somebody come over there.

And we were leaving that Daniel.

Yeah, so I drove, we go back, I take my parents to the airport and they, you know, they were fine.

They just had never seen one before and it was very early.

Speaker 2

And also, I mean, I've seen him in person in the woods and like it startles you.

It's the size of your hand.

Speaker 1

Yes, my dad said it was like three four inches big, like pretty big.

Yeah.

So we're driving and my mom's like, well, I took a picture.

Do you want me to send it to your friend?

And I was like, now, I told her it's fine.

I mean, you know, there's nothing we can do.

So driving parents off, I'm driving back to my house and my mom sends me the picture.

Kurt, I'm going to show you the picture my mom sent me, and I want you, as a man of the world, to identify this animal.

Speaker 2

Oh, it is a fucking huge scorpion.

Speaker 1

It is a fucking huge scorpion.

That is not a tarantula.

Picture.

I go, well, I think because it was six am, and they it was in the morning, and I think they didn't expect to see anything there.

And I think just the we had talked about transla season out here.

You yeah, so I think the word was just in her mind.

Speaker 2

Oh my god, it is a three.

Speaker 1

And a half four inch scorpion, which I've never seen in real life.

Speaker 2

I've never seen in real life.

Speaker 1

Upstairs bathroom in the morning.

So how does that get up there?

My mom says, I'm just going to read you the text exchange.

It's only a few lines.

My mom said to the photo at ten twenty three am.

So we had already driven back.

That's how early we were up.

I said, that is not a scorpion.

I said, that is a scorpion.

That is not a spider.

She goes, oops, is that better or worse?

And I said that is way worse.

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.

She goes, Oh God, poor Molly, our friend.

She said, for some reason, the word tarantula was stuck in my mind because we had talked about that earlier.

I am old and dumb.

She said, Are you going to tell Molly?

I said, I am not telling her that there was a scorpion in her house.

Speaker 2

You have to because scorpions are different.

Speaker 1

Than I did.

Okay, then the next message from my mom was are you home yet?

So just instantly back to mamo, are you safe.

That's amazing.

Yes, oh my, so my parents woke up a barefoot in the morning.

Speaker 2

And also like those things can hit like if they sting you.

I honestly don't know what you do for us getting stung by a scorpion.

I don't know.

Speaker 1

I looked it up.

It is probably not deadly, if there are California brown scorpions or whatever, but it it is supposed to be three to four times worse than a beasting.

So if that thing hit you, it is like it's a day ruiner.

Oh man, So the landist plan we don't turn and run, Kurt.

Now, the old line state holds firm.

We spray things with hair spray, hit them with a shoe, and then flush them down.

Oh it made me so happy.

But anyways, yes, I it was like a funny way to wake up.

A thunk, A great story translor would have been enough.

And then your fiel scorpion.

Speaker 2

That is amazing.

That's truly amazing.

I'm so happy save that for the pod.

Speaker 1

I know.

I was like, yeah, I'm gonna I told Molly and she was like, what the fuck?

Speaker 2

So good, folks, let me just tell you a little something something is that.

In case you are not aware, Bananas has a Patreon and the amount of stuff that we offer on that Patreon, it's a lot, all right.

You get you got mail bag episode where we answer all your questions and your letters.

We got a bonusade where we do advice and would you rathers?

We got a Broananas, which is Bananas with male guests.

We've had Kumail Nanjianni and Adam Devine, so John Gabris and John Gabris, and we're having Johnny Pemberton on.

We'll have Jack Quaid on.

We'll have Flula on.

Speaker 1

Flula Borg's coming on.

I think Jabooki Young White's gonna be on.

I just had coffee with Jabuki, so funny.

We're gonna have some some heavy hitters.

And also I started a chat room yesterday where I said, everybody vent for half an hour, and then about thirty ban animals hop right on and started venting about you know, work sucks, moving sucks, these things sucks, all these It was so fun, and then at some point it pivoted in the people just showing pictures of their dogs and saying feel bet everybody, And then the last fifteen minutes was no venting just dogs and cats.

Speaker 2

Yay, that's so great.

Speaker 1

I love that.

So there we go.

Speaker 2

And then also we have a bonus episode of Bananas that is no ads.

And we also have once a month Friday Night Drink Drink Our Thursday Night Thursday Night Happy Hour, which I screwed up last month.

Speaker 1

And my internet died in my neighborhood and it was one of the most stressful.

I don't like to let people down ever, and I went and just the whole block was out, and I was like, well, this is my own personal hell.

So I did finish that drink by myself.

But yeah, we we cocktail.

It's so fun and apparently everybody stayed on just continue talking and having fun amongst themselves.

Speaker 2

It was great.

It was really cool.

And I think the next one's going to be Friday or Thursday, August twenty eighth.

Speaker 1

If that works for you, Scottie, I think that might be perfect.

Let me check the old cow.

This is live to tape, folks.

I think I can do it.

I could definitely.

Yeah, let's saim for the twenty eighth, twentieth or twenty ninth.

Let's say that, okay, because well but we'll we'll circle back, but I do think I can probably do that date.

Yes, all right, great anyways, and oh yes, I'm doing my novella.

Speaker 2

Okay, tell me about that.

Speaker 1

So I've posted the first four chapters of a novella I wrote.

It is called On the Rocks, and during the last writers skilled strike, I decided I was going to sit down and write a crime novella that was intentionally over the top and insane.

It is about a man who goes to a company work party at his boss's beach house and he looks down he sees his ex fiance dead on the rocks below, with a Martini glass swirling in her hands, and he has to figure out who killed her at that party.

I wanted to connect all fifty states because it's hard to find common grounds.

So I'm writing it.

So I wrote the first twenty six chapters, and by chapter, I use chapters very loosely.

It's gonna be a ninety nine chapter book.

Some chapters are two sentences long.

It is a page turner, folks, all right, So the first four chapters are.

Speaker 2

A chapter turner.

Speaker 1

It's a chapter turner like you don't or you can get three chapters on one page pretty easily.

But I'm writing it under the pen name Rifle Tampon because i want to just unite everybody, and so I'm going to be releasing two chapters, probably bi weekly, and then also finishing the book simultaneously only on the bananas Patreon at all of the paid tears.

Oh, that is awesome, So join us, bananamals.

It's so fun, And everybody who has we thank you sincerely for building this out and making this bigger and being a great community of nice, kind, generous people.

Speaker 2

Here.

It is Ohio woman who had her car repossessed by the dealer takes legal ownership of dealership name and a revenge move for the Ages.

This was in Fortune Magazine.

I've ever read that soldier of Fortune, this Fortune Magazine.

This is sent in by Brett Kennerson.

Thanks Brett.

Speaker 1

Love that Brett Kennerson.

Speaker 2

Written by Chris Morris.

A lot of people say it's.

Speaker 1

Best in the business.

Speaker 2

Here it is an Ohio woman whose car was repossessed by the dealership with just one month after she bought it has pulled off a revenge move for the Ages.

Tam McCreary discovered as she explored legal options against the company that the dealer has failed to renew the registration on the company's name with the Ohio Secretary of State, so she registered it in her name, then hit the dealer with a cease and desist order ordering them to no longer use the name they've used since twenty twelve.

As you might guess, illegal battle is underway.

To back up, Yeah, McCreary, according to court documents, received preliminary approval for a loan when buying a used Kia K five at Taylor Kia of Leo Lima.

The lender later determined the information regarding McCreary's income was not sufficient for final approval and the car was repossessed while she was at work.

Speaker 1

Ugh.

Speaker 2

So they said she had a loan and then did it ugh Once.

Speaker 1

She responded, that's horrible.

Speaker 2

It's horrible.

Once she responded in court with the demand that the owner ceased using the name.

The dealer argued that an arbitration clause in her agreement to buy the K five made the court case invalid.

A judge agreed that could have been that and this is where Tia really hurt.

Tenaciousness needs to be admired.

That could have been that but the Third District Appeals Court ruled that while McCreary signed the arbitration agreement and and that would apply to the matter of the repossession, the claim over the use of the name tailor Kia of Lima was not subject to arbitration as it had nothing to do with the Kia purchase.

The court reversed the previous decision, writing this claim is a separate matter that could be pursued independently of the other claims in the complaint that address the consumer transaction issue a lot of complaints.

Since this claim does not fall within the scope of arbitration agreement, this claim should not be dismissed and sent to arbitration.

The case is now headed back to lower courts for additional legal proceedings.

Speaker 1

Wow the system on trial.

We love that.

We always speak truth to power on this podcast.

Speaker 2

There great nice work also.

I mean, like that's fan Tan.

That's just using your wits.

That's using your wits.

I love it.

Speaker 1

There was a show on Discovery Channel.

I probably tried to loop you into it.

I was working on this pilot and it was called car Fellas and it actually became a series.

But the first production company that was on it were a couple guys, You and I worked with a lot who shall remain nameless, but they the idea was out in Amityville, Long Island, there was a car dealership that focused primarily on Cadillacs, used Calacs, and it was run by three guys, and I think two of the three had been in jail for crimes.

They were all Italian and so it was very godfathery.

But they were called car fellows, and they were all larger than life personalities.

They were larger than average men, and they all got busted because of surveillance caught them in like a sting, and now they sold used cars and they were very funny guys.

So the production company that was doing the pilot for Discovery they needed some jokes and some host copy and stuff like that, because guys, so I hate to tell you, but reality TV is ninety eight percent fake.

It's two percent reactions that could be real, and then the rest is people like Kurt and I behind the scenes pulling the strings.

It's called story producing.

Anyway, they were like, hey, we're not you know, to use car dealership, you might get one customer a day, you might get three customers a day.

So to shoot a pilot, you have to make it seem like it's busy.

So they were like, do you know anybody who's looking to buy a car?

And so I started reaching out to friends and then they were like, do you just want to pretend like you and your girlfriend are buying a car?

I was like yeah, sure, and they're like, here's what you're going to say?

So sure, So a bunch of New York funny people of various ages, and couples that weren't really couples.

Just we all went out there and Kurt I bought a fake car from the car Fellas.

I talked him down.

They played hardball.

I said, can we get a cash?

I'll walk out of here today if it's six thousand.

I'm talking to my then girlfriend and all as well.

And then they turned it into Discovery Channel and Discovery goes, are these people real?

And they go, yeah, these are real people, and they go, you're telling me all of these people bought cars in that same day, and they canceled.

They fired the company, they fired the production company off the project, hired a new one, and then put the show out with a new pilot, and I never got on TV.

But somewhere whoa out there?

There is a episode of TV where I am buying a car versus the car Fellas and really getting into it, really grinding their gears.

They're coming back.

Figures are being thrown around.

Meanwhile, at the time, I had thirteen hundred dollars to my name, but I'm like six grand and I walk out the door, I drive out the door.

And so that's just a little glimmer behind the fake world of reality TV.

Don't let it affect your reality.

Oh my god, isn't that crazy?

Yeah?

Speaker 2

Also, who else was it?

Was it a bunch of improvisers who went out there?

Speaker 1

Yeah?

I think as I'm saying this, I wonder if like Pat Shepard, our buddy, our good friend.

Yeah, yeah, might have been one of those people.

But also I think they looked they were like really, so all these twenty five to thirty two year olds.

Speaker 2

Or bunk cars that I remember when I think I've told this story on the pod, But it must have been like twenty three, twenty three, twenty four, and my it was again through improv and it was another improviser.

I knew she was a producer on a Judge Judy knockoff show that shot in New York and for their week of February fourteenth, they did like a Valentine's Day, like wrote like a relationship court thing, yes, and it was all so fake and produced.

It was all improvisers and then people and then some real people from like Ohio.

But I was in the green room with these women from Ohio.

Who were they all?

And they were they all had different stories about who which of the reality show, like they were professional reality show people.

So they were like, They're like, oh, well, Morey will fly you out and give you two nights in a hotel, so that's a pretty good deal.

And then the hotels are nice.

Hotels are nice, but this show, this show only flies you out one night, so you only get one night and the hotel's not that great.

But then if you go to like this, and they had that they knew all of the shows so they just would do that.

And I was like, this is crazy.

And then right before we go up on stage, they wand us with a metal detector and I'm like, what the what the fuck kind of show is this that I'm getting wanded with a metal detector before going on stage.

And the woman who had been talking, had a fucking steak knife in her pocket, like a like a serrated steak knife, not like a not like a switch blade or anything that you would get, just steak A serrated steak knife, probably dull as shit.

And she was like, I'm from the streets.

You gotta be protected.

I'm like with a with a with a serrated steak knife.

It was the craziest thing to try and bring out on stage with you.

Oh my, maybe try and kill the judge.

Speaker 1

I don't know.

Yes, I knew too, Dudes, that is crazy to try to get.

Oh my god, because somebody there is real.

I mean, there's some real cop, or there's some the judge is a judge.

Everything else might be fake.

But you can't just walk into a courtroom with a steak knife on your.

Speaker 2

Persons in her pocket.

Speaker 1

I mean the funnier bit is to have a fork and a small steak in your pocket too, and be like, I get hungry on trial when tempers flare, I need a little bite tea and I'm a protein doggy.

There's a guy that worked so when I was a bike doctor.

There's a bunch of different locations in this One guy and his friend so a mechanic and then his friend pretended to be gay to come out on TV they weren't gay men, and and on like Jenny Jones or Rolando, one of the older ones, and there's a clip of them where they come out and they were like, and we're here to tell our wives and our family that we were gay men.

And they did it for the trip.

Speaker 2

Crazy.

Speaker 1

They did it for the trip in the hotel, they wanted a free flight because then they stayed for like a friend's wedding or something.

So basically lied said they were gay, flew up there, and then to prove it they got it, they said play some music, and then they did that.

They started dancing and then one turned upside down and they held each other so that like two feet were in the air and two feet were down, and then they just hopped in a circle and the crowd starts dancing and getting into it.

And then those guys just came back to work on Monday.

What it's there is a VHS of it.

Oh yeah, this was ninety five.

But their their example of no, we really are gay was just one they stood up, one did like a cart wheel, the other one caught him around the waist and then they just jumped with legs above heads and and just jumped in a circle.

And the crowd was like, yeah, that, I'm gonna find this class.

It's got to be on YouTube.

Speaker 2

Also, that was that used to be Damien and I's signature move where we would go out dancing.

Speaker 1

He would get go.

Speaker 2

Down on his hands and then flip his flip his legs over my shoulder and then I would pick him up here yep and like dance him around the dance floor.

Speaker 1

And then flip it back down.

Yep.

There you go.

So you guys would have been gay in nineteen ninety five.

Speaker 2

We were doing it in nineteen ninety eight, so it was it was it was straight coded.

Speaker 1

But that's what it's all about.

My goodness.

Here's one for you.

So you just moved.

Also, you got to go visit our our good friends at Twin Elephant Brewery.

There you're you're pretty close to him now and oh I will also.

Speaker 2

So Edmund love Edmund see him twice now.

Speaker 1

So for those who don't know, Kurtie b is now working on a late night show and guess what he's on screen.

So if you watch, you're going to see this guy on some sketches on the Tonight Show on NBC.

Speaker 2

Look at that.

Speaker 1

That's a big deal, dude.

Think about it.

You were a kid.

You were a dumb kid from New Jersey with big dreams, and look what you've done.

Credible.

You're working in thirty Rock, You're getting on national television.

Speaker 2

Working on thirty Rock is really fun.

Speaker 1

Yeah, that's that building is really fun.

It's a cool building.

That's Starbucks in there.

Cranks out some coffees because you get all the assistants and you get all the tourists just getting off there and they're really really going hard.

So anyways, congratulations to you, and I'm going to start.

I'm going to try to find these sketches.

If there's everyone you're super proud of.

Put it on the Instagram Buddy podcast on Instagram.

You know it, you had it.

It's an app for your phone.

Here we go.

Beth Michelle sent this one in.

Thank you, Beth Michelle.

You're the greatest.

Rowdy children kids Throwing rocks leads one Massachusetts, Massachusetts brewery to post new rules for visiting parents.

They hit close to home for you.

Careful out there?

Speaker 2

Where's the brewery?

Speaker 1

Norton Massachusetts, but twin elephants in New Jersey right near you.

The owner of a brewery in Norton, Massachusetts, the commonwealth is putting his foot down to stop some misbehaving children.

The new rules are not for drunk adults, They're for customers with kids.

We are trying to be the kind of neighborhoods living room here bad first argument.

If you're trying to be the neighborhood's living rooms rowdy kids, yes, they're going to be building forts out of sofa cushions, sheets and towels.

We want people to be able to come in and relax and hang out and meet friends.

Families are welcome as well, said Brian shirt Left of bog Iron Brewery.

Yog bog Iron.

But just like when you're in a guest in someone else's living room, you can't be climbing on the coffee table.

That is why whoever wrote this, who I will find?

Let me see if I can find her.

Right there we go, Brandon Truitt.

That is why Brandon Truet for CBS News is the best in the biz.

Oh yeah, Brandon, as so posted throughout the tap room and printed on the menu.

Patrons of bog Iron Brewing Company can't miss the new memo.

Children must remain seated at the table with their parents.

What good luck?

Speaker 2

Dog Iron understand children can't throw rocks.

I get that.

Speaker 1

That's fair, that's fair, that's decency.

Speaker 2

But what they have to be seated at the table with their parents?

Did you that's just a way of just being like, we don't actually want families here.

Speaker 1

Again, That's what I'm thinking.

The brewery has a full kitchen and wants families to feel welcome spending time together enjoying a meal, but recent incidents gave them no choice but to adjust their policy.

We literally, more than one time had kids throwing rocks at root one, two three right outside our beer garden, throwing rocks around the beer garden, climbing, jumping up and down on our picnic tables and stuff.

It just got to be way too much.

He said, that's fair, that's fair, you can't throw rocks.

Speaker 2

Look, that's fair to not want that stuff happening.

But then don't say families are welcome.

Just that's all you have to say.

But don't be like where the Nation's living room, families are welcome, but children need to speak, only speak when spoken to.

Speaker 1

Back in the fall, notch brewing, Huh in Salem.

There are a lot of breweries out there, Man, by God, there are a lot notch brewer in Salem.

And Brighton established a kid curfew after six pm, only patrons twenty one and older are allowed to be there.

Now, I'm actually for a curfew, but I think six pm is very early.

Speaker 2

It's too early.

Make it seven pm, seven pm, okay, because look, everybody starts to go out to dinner at seven you do.

Let parents have five to seven, get there five pm, and then you're you're wrapped up by six point fifteen.

Speaker 1

You're out there when the foreman pulls the whistle and Mom leaves the coal mine at four pm, she hits the company's store.

She picks up some hard tack and some lard for her family, and then she wants to go to nice the rug rats.

Yeah, she wants to have a nice beer.

She takes the conestog wagon home.

She picks up the dumb husband.

He's over there in a recliner chewing his cud, and then she takes them for a couple cold ales.

Why don't they call beers ales in America?

Speaker 2

I don't know, I wish they would great name.

Speaker 1

Yeah, and they go to Iron Brewery and she's been cracking cold down in the mines with the other ladies.

Let them have till seven pm before they have to drag their kids home.

Bog Iron Brewer are the bog Iron owners say?

Most people understand and say, quote, he's doing the right thing here.

He's trying to keep everyone happy.

And I don't think he's trying to shut out families.

He's just asking them to mind their kids, right, Which is the bigger thing.

Is he should ban these parents to let their kids run in the garden, throw rocks, get them out of this, Yes, said one bog Iron.

Speaker 2

Elect Kids walk around.

This sounds like it's outside.

Let kids walk around outside, away from the table, as long as they're not throwing rocks at things.

Speaker 1

I mean, at Golden Road they had kid stuff, Giant Connect four, they had I don't know, you know, they had all kinds of kids stuff.

Yeah, that's fun.

If you're doing it right, then you get a bunch of well behaved kids.

It shouldn't be that hard to keep them at the table.

Speaker 2

This is a person who does not have children.

Speaker 1

That's what it is.

That's what this do hard to.

Speaker 2

Keep children at the table.

Speaker 1

You know those things that love to sit still, you never get bored.

Yeah, don't pee all the time.

I think having half the page on one of the pages of the menu might be a bit overkilled, said one Patron's what it is, the memo is half a page of that is so New England.

Speaker 2

Oh so that's what it strikes me as.

That is very much what it strikes me as.

It strikes me as as again, am I dislike for New England rears its ugly head, but an over obsession with rules that go against the natural order of a human animal.

Speaker 1

Yeah, I have something where it's like every rock your child is caught throwing is fifty dollars added to your bill, or like going to the staff because it's like, yeah, shut these kids down.

But yes, seven pm.

I thought six pm was a tadra cone.

Speaker 2

Yes, yes, it's very much the equivalent of Boston's inability to buy liquor on Sunday.

Speaker 1

Yes, I win.

Speaker 2

Throwback to the Protestant history of our country, folks.

Speaker 1

Oh yes, the old Protestant history boy still haunting us to this day.

I went to Golden Road once I was visiting some friends were doing a birthday party, and you know those things.

This happens a lot, especially when you're young in comedy, where people kind of come to a show and then they're talking to you, and then you're done talking to that person, and then I show up and you know me, and then you'll go Scotty, you know this is a this is Dave.

Dave is a writer too, and then you walk away and leave me with Dave.

You know those situations.

Yeah, as a writer, this has literally happened to me every time I go out for the last twenty five years.

So I go to Golden I.

Speaker 2

Don't do that, but that I don't do that because I don't know anybody's name.

So I go Scotty, Uh, Scotty, this is oh, by the way, this is Scotty to the person.

Speaker 1

Hoping, and then I go, Hi, I'm Scotty.

What is your name?

Speaker 2

You always do it, It's very nice, I do.

Speaker 1

You can never over introduce, so I say everybody's name constantly until I'm sure everybody's clocked it.

So so I go there, Matt and Mary.

There are good friends.

We should have Mary on.

Actually, she'd be a great guests and I could tell Matt is stuck with this guy and I don't recognize this dude, and that's a bunch of comedy people that you would know.

And I show up and I grab a beer and Matt's like, hey, Scotty, I'm just gonna use a fake name for this dude.

This is uh Steve.

And I'm like, hey, Steve, nice to meet you.

And Matt looks at me goes, he's really good at impressions and then walks away.

So that's how Matt dumped the guy on me.

And and so then I'm like really, and he goes, well, I'm not really that good.

I only do one impression.

And I go, oh, that's cool.

And he goes and I only do two words, and I go right, and he goes, I do Sam Elliott, but I can only do Sam Elliott saying the word steel bird.

So I go, well, let me hear it, and he goes, steal bird, and that's all I did.

And I go and he honestly curtain.

He did sound like Sam Elliot when he did it, steal bird.

And I said, that's great.

Why do you only do one?

He goes, That's the only one I ever wanted to do, and I go, why did you pick steel Bird?

He goes, I don't know.

It just sounded like something Sam Eily would say.

And then I had to talk to that guy until the next idiot came along and I could be like, you guys got to meet Steve, this guy's great and im Prinson, and then peeled him off.

So all we did is past this guy that I'm not sure one that he knew anybody in our group, or two maybe he didn't even exist.

Maybe he was a ghost of a sound mixer for Roadhouse Steel Bird.

Speaker 2

I was talking on the phone recently, and I was outside talking on the phone and somebody walked up to me.

Happened and went Kurt, and I'm on like I'm on the phone, And I was like, like, kind of way, and I don't recognize this person, which is not uncommon for me.

I will often not recognize people I've met many times.

Apologies, sure it is a fault of mine.

But he looked at me, No, boy, he looked at me like we were we were siblings and had not seen each other in twenty years.

He looked at me like he was either he was having some sort of event in his life at that moment like where he was going through something or I knew I at some point knew him incredibly well, and he just it was so crazy and I could not place him at all, unless it was maybe someone from my deep past, like someone who I knew in like third grade.

He was in shock that I was standing there talking on the phone to the point where he stood in like expected me to get off the phone and stop what I was doing to like embrace him or something.

And I just wonder who it was.

And if it is someone from my past that I've forgotten, I mean, wow, I have no idea.

It was really intense, though intense couple of seconds.

Speaker 1

But that person doesn't know how to live.

If you walk up to somebody you haven't seen a really long time, and you've seen me do this hundreds, maybe thousands of times, I'll walk to somebody and go, hey, Kurt, it's Scotty, and I'll point at myself and the course I do it every time.

I do it to people I know know who I am.

But it's not it takes he does it to me, folks.

Speaker 2

He comes, he says, Kurt, it's Scotty.

Speaker 1

The zoom turns on.

Speaker 2

Hey, when I click on the zoom, knowing we're gonna do banana.

Scotty is still there, going it's good, Scotty.

Speaker 1

Yeah, it's me.

I don't forget me.

Separation me into some thumbers.

I got some good ones.

Speaker 2

I don't know if we posted about this yet.

Scarlett Johansson and Adam Driver fighting and marriage story is being used by the USDA to scare off wolves.

Speaker 1

Oh good, a cinematic one.

I like that.

Thumbs ups.

These are your thumbs up.

This is Marissa sent this in and it says, yeah, thank you can always send your thumbs up root anybody in your life on Please don't do birthdays anniversaries over fifty years.

We'll thumbs that up.

Oh hell yeah, Marissa sent this in.

I just had a baby girl here in Los Angeles.

She came a few weeks early, and I was wondering if you could thumbs up my husband, Mike Hollingsworth.

Now I know who Mike is because he's a great artist and he's an animator.

And I actually reached out to Mike once about grabbing a coffee and I haven't done it yet, so sorry, Mike.

We'll go to the tally Rand soon enough.

But I want to show.

I want to thumbs up my husband, Mike Collins birth on our behalf because he's already being the best daddy.

She is in the NICU for another week.

It's been very emotionally difficult and we cannot wait to take her home.

Yes, and I check back in with Marisa.

Things are going well, everything's getting better.

Mike and I are huge fans, and I'm sure he'd love to hear the surprise.

Shout out if you can.

The baby's name is Lily Bell Rose, which is a very beautiful.

Hell.

Yeah, So thumbs up to both of you this very stressful time that's soon to be an extremely exciting and wonderful Yes.

Speaker 2

In there, this is temporary, as my wife's tattoo says, this is temporary, and you're gonna have an amazing Lily Bell Rose in your home so so soon.

Speaker 1

Thumbs up to both of you, said beautifully said.

Andrea wants to thumbs up.

Oh, I went to the wrong one.

Andrea wants to thumbs up her dad, who is seventy four and does not know what a podcast is.

But he is four years sober this November November fifteenth, and he has always been by my side as I struggled with my own alcoholism.

Today August first, I am eight months sober because of his encouragement.

Speaker 2

Andrea, come on, thumbs up, thumbs up, good for you, keep it dry.

Speaker 1

That's so good.

We're proud of you.

Go for nine months.

Let's do one more.

What do you say, Kurt about one more?

We do love the thumbs ups around here, don't we.

Oh?

I know there was a great one about swim lessons because we talked about how like eighty percent of the world can't swim or whatever.

Okay, here we go.

This is from Katie, and I believe it's Lessie but under the great handle.

And sorry Kurt that you didn't get this first.

The Fruity Dike.

The Fruity Dike sent this in her words for it not mine, making that very clear.

We love all people here.

I am listening to the latest episode of Bananas and was also shocked about the eighty five percent of the world that doesn't know how to swim.

So I want to thumbs up my best friend Zach, who has been dedicated, who dedicated his career to teaching children to swim.

He has built up several swim schools in Maryland and made sure to create classes that cater to populations who are statistically less likely to know how to swim, like low income folks, African Americans, and people with some intellectual disabilities.

He is, in fact the best in the swim business.

So thumbs up to Zach.

Also on a side for Scottie.

Zach and I have been drunk at the Columbia mal Cheesecake Factory numerous times, and your Maryland anecdotes always make a smile.

Well I one day, Katie, I hope you me and Zach go to that Columbia mall and we do drink on like Bubblegum Lane or one of the weird little wimpy names they have around there, which is true.

Sugar Plum Lane is a real place that I got rolled over for my radio and my car being too loud.

Are They gave me a fake citation like a like a warning because I was playing I don't know g Love and the special Nature.

I know, I was playing Naughty by Nature too loud In nineteen ninety eight on Sugar Plumbley thumbs ups to all of you keep that sobriety going and all the dry sixty nine ers out there, keep it going.

I sent three more today, Kurt.

A lot of people getting sober.

Speaker 2

Congrats.

Okay, here it is Scarlett Johansson Adam Driver fighting and marriage stories being used by the USDA to scare off wolves.

Speaker 1

So good.

Speaker 2

This was in Yahoo, written by Zach Scharf zak Sharf.

Thank you, Zach Sharf.

Speaker 1

The Heart.

Speaker 2

A new report from The Wall Street journally reveals the audio of Scarlett Johansson and Adam Driver screaming at each other in Noah.

Bombach's marriage story is being used by the United States Department of Agriculture to scare off wolves from killing cattle and scaring livestock on farms across Wow America.

The fight scene is the most emotionally volatile moment in BOMBOXX twenty nineteen drama, which earned both Johansson and Driver Oscar nominations per the WSJ.

Riding to the rescue are drone Cowhans, whose quad copters have thermal cameras that can reveal any wolf lurking in the darkness and bathe it in a spotlight.

A loudspeaker broadcasts alarms sounding like fireworks, gunshots, and people arguing.

One recording is of the fight between Scarlett Johansson and Adam Driver in the movie Marriage Story.

The drone part is the part that that should be in the headline.

Yeah, that they're using drones to broadcast Marriage Story to wolves.

That is a big part of this story, and that's just right at the end.

That's really burying the lead.

I had none who at the.

Speaker 1

Park Service or whatever has been checking out Marriage Story.

That's I think that's a pretty obscure film, Like that's kind of an art house a type of that's not your mainstream film.

Speaker 2

No.

Also, I feel like people screaming could be from any movie.

There's so many.

Speaker 1

That's like a lot of.

Speaker 2

Movies are screaming, but Marriage Store specific is very funny.

I feel like it is like a someone it's a joke from someone deep inside the USDA.

Yes, I agree, it's like somebody works at a desk who just like was like, you know, assemble these things for drone cowpoke.

Speaker 1

Yeah.

Also, I would guess, See, I'm not a biologist.

I don't even pretend to be Kurve for that one time.

Well that was a mistake and I am sorry to everybody in the front row.

I would guess that human screaming might attract wolves.

Speaker 2

Oh, because someone's hurt, and then they can come in and get a little bit of that leg or yeah, about.

Speaker 1

To bop each other over the head with a big mallet, and then the wolves just clean up the rest.

I just say, I would guess that the sound of human screaming might draw in wolves.

But then again, what do I know?

Well, I don't.

I'm not a zoologist.

Speaker 2

I'm not a wolfologist.

I'm not a wolf guy.

I'm not a loopisologist.

Speaker 1

What is that good?

We're gonna leave everybody with an educational tidbit.

Scientist is called loopis.

It has to be a loop in there, wolf biologist, boring, It has to be better than that wolf biologist, wolf scientist.

Come on, you got to give me something good.

Yeah.

I love a loopologist, yeah, apology, But I like a loopussogist.

I think it's a wolf biologist, which is a bomber boot and I love them.

I love a wolf.

Who doesn't love a wolf?

Right?

Great?

Animal?

Great?

Great?

Speaker 2

I mean I know who doesn't love a wolf.

It's people who own chickens and livestock.

Speaker 1

That's all right, this room for all of this.

It's a big planet.

Speaker 2

It's a big plant, isn't it.

Speaker 1

It's cool with like The Naked Gun did very well, so hopefully.

Speaker 2

Have you seen it.

Yeah, I love it's so funny that.

Speaker 1

And I got the Beaver popcorn carrier too.

Speaker 2

Oh my god, you did.

Oh that's so great.

Speaker 1

Of course, how to do it?

Speaker 2

Oh my god, tell me if the place did not go ape shit insane for this line.

Speaker 1

Yeah, the whole theater.

Speaker 2

Why was that forty second Street, amc The whole place was like tears coming down everyone's face.

Speaker 1

It is a very funny movie.

Pam Anderson is great in it.

Liam Neeson is great in the fact that those in theaters.

Oh, well, that's why it's doing so well, because people are standing.

I mean, people are shipping that couple hard, including me.

I think they're great together.

I think they're so cool.

I love her.

It's funny because back to the Wolves briefly, the reason I brought up Naked Gun is like, it is crazy that Liam Neeson an excellent actor.

Ye Shindler's list amazing a million great movies, but in the last twenty years really since taken his which he thought was going to be a flop and a stupid straight to DVD movie.

He actually said that in interviews he's fun.

It's basically him fighting different people.

Yeah, and that he got to the point where he was fighting so many different bad guys that then they did The Gray where he fights wolves.

Yeah.

In the final scene of that movie, he puts airplane bottles between his knuckles and then it's going to go head to head with a wolf.

And then I was like, this guy's just punching everything, this dude, and why do we like to see him?

Leeam Neeson just punching people?

And in Naked Gun he punches so many people.

It's fantastic, really fantastic.

Go see it in theaters.

Support comedy in theaters because I'm trying to get some in theaters.

Speaker 2

Thank you so much for and everybody.

Speaker 1

Thank you, Scotty, thank you, thank you, Katie Levine, exactly right, our benevolent overlord who we just love so much, Karen and Georgia, everybody involved in making it and as a special place.

We'll see you all at Bananas Fest two, October fourth, Denver, Colorado.

Bananas.

Bananas Bananas is an exactly right media production.

Our producer and engineer is Katie Levine, the catchy Bananas theme song was composed and performed by Kahon.

Speaker 2

Artwork for Bananas was designed by Travis Millard.

Speaker 1

And our benevolent overlords are the great Karen Kilgareff and Georgia Hartstart and.

Speaker 2

Lisa Maggott is our full human, not a robot, part time employee.

Speaker 1

You can listen to Bananas on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts, and please feel free to rate and review as many times as you can.

We love those five stars.

Never lose your place, on any device

Create a free account to sync, back up, and get personal recommendations.