Nah, he showed up.

You show up and I danced all night and I think he sweart almost got me pregnant, remember that night.

Wanted to take you down.

He takes me out the club.

He again again.

I was like, Joe cracked the motherfucking biggest in the game.

You know what it is, your boy, Jada, This is the Joe and Jada Show.

Every show legendary, every show iconic.

And we stick to our word.

Today's guests, it's from the trenches.

You think of the culture, you think of comedy.

When you think of acting, somebody they try to break, but they can't break.

You think of somebody that any anything.

She puts a hand on her foot and she does it to the max.

Well, her feet ain't done today.

Forget shut up.

Don't you be snitching men, bro, you say her feet ain't done today.

My feet are done every day.

But today they've done God's way, natural, no paints.

That's how the shrimpers like it, butt naked toes.

Well that shrimpers.

She ready, Oh that was a four, y'all.

That was for a certain demographic out there.

You know what I'm saying, yo, sis man, We're so proud of you.

Yanna to have you here.

You've been killing the game for a long time.

You know, you started out, you know, forced the homes and had the roughest time of your life, and now you ain't to be successful.

And just like Jaden said, we see they always try to throw money at us, you know what I mean, fake cancel us, but we rise to the occasion because I think cancer is fake.

Do you think cancer is fake?

I think the only thing that can cancel me is God and myself.

Yeah, I could decide to allow whatever the world is saying to stop me from doing my purpose, so I could just do my purpose.

And I'm doing my purpose.

So however they see me, I'll say, fuck them.

Yeah, no, I don't want to them all.

You don't try to cancel me.

Every couple of months they try to cancel me that, but that means fuck them.

I don't see them where they are.

When you see people in person, they show you nothing but law exact.

I'm not gonna look at no fucking social media, no Twitter and think that that's the real deal.

Yeah.

Yeah, Sometimes I look at those comments and I be like, dang, I wish I didn't know how to read again, because when.

I didn't know how to read in nothing bothering me like that you have.

You had to say that ship to my face, Like if you want to talk shit, you have to say it to my face.

And and I'm still like that I missed the nineteen hundreds.

We'd be like, say that ship again, I slapped the ship out you, and they won't say it again.

They won't even say it.

You know.

Back in the days, men had to have well men, boys, they had to have courage.

They seem a pretty girl you gotta walk up to and talk to us.

Now it was the d tweet.

Yeah.

Yeah, they don't even know how to be like, your's up, mama, what's good?

Yeah?

They are socially awkward soaks.

Yeah, they travert and ship on this phone.

Mmm.

He trying to slide in some DMS right now and then when he meet the girl, I'm like.

Looking at it, looking at the ground and smiling at the ground.

Look at me in the eyes, nigga right here, nigga right talk to me, don't tech.

How about I went on a date and the dude text me, we're sitting at the same table.

Why are you texting me and you're sitting right across from me.

He's more comfortable texting than talking.

Yeah, And I had to look at him and say, I can't read, nigga, use words out your mouth, act like I mean, literally teach me.

I want to be with a man that could teach me.

Are you a leader?

No?

No, he definitely not.

He wasn't ready.

His credit score was bad anyways, awkward?

Not this bad?

What a woman like you?

You make a lot of money?

Tip and if when you need a guy to level you up or have more money than you or mm.

Hmm, he just gotta have a good credit score and an EI in number.

So credit score gotta be seven hundred or higher.

Because I feel like your credit scord is are grown up report card, Right, that's your grown up report card.

That's gonna show me how responsible you are?

Uh?

Do you pay your bills on time?

If you make an agreement with with the with the entity, do you fulfill your side of that agreement?

Are you frivolous with you?

He's not looking at him like, Yo, this guy's hot.

I'm gonna take him down.

Oh no, I'm I know.

If I'm gonna take you down, I'm gonna just take you down.

And then I'll disappear, okay.

Or if I feel like you got potential.

If I feel like you got potential, if I want to invest in time in you, now, I need to see if you work the investment.

So what's your credit score?

Right?

Because how you spend your money is how you're probably gonna spend my heart, and my heart is very fragile, and I'm not gonna let you just fuck it off.

Leave guys.

I'm not saying cheap.

Guy, I'm cheap.

I'm cheap.

I'm right, So you're cheap.

Yeah, I don't spend a lot of money.

You got a lot of money.

If you cheap, you got a lot.

I spend my money on land.

I invest in the land, right, That's where I spend my money.

That's how I buy buildings without with Gucci, Louie and Diamonds they buying land.

Yeah, I invested in a diamond mine.

I feel like, why am I gonna spend all this line I could get diamond I can invest in the mind and that they can send me my ship.

Why am I gonna buy that leon?

Yeah?

You need some diamonds.

I got you, my nigga, I got you.

I also invested in a lyftyan mine.

You need some batteries?

I got you.

Like, I'm like, I'm the type of person like, why just buy it already made.

I can invest in the raw resource and then get that, you know, get it as.

A affordable price in l a com.

Yeah, now you buy minds and ship like that.

Yeah, I'm like this.

If a bank won't give you a loan to buy a house and start a business, why would I loan you my body's That is that technical?

Because because when a man get inside you, he think you is.

He want to claim you, like it, like you his land.

I think if you I think if every man right, this might be old fat Joe, But I think if every man three fat three fat jos Ago.

You remember when I was fat fat Joe right, looked like the king finished.

Now you was snagger talk all a lot.

But if I think if every man thought about the girl they're having sex with, just saying yobay, mistake God's doing, She's going to be pregnant and have my baby, I think they would less.

Randomly, I think if men lactated when they give women pregnant, they would fuck less.

If men lactated.

Yeah, if every time you got a woman pregnant, your nipples started to leap, you would think twice before you.

Men ain't equip.

That's that's where well, no, you would quit.

You would quip because men nipples leaking.

Listen to me, men ain't ready to be in no fucking label rules.

Like if I become president, I'm gonna get some scientists to put something in the weed and the beer.

And every time you get somebody pregnant, damn you breastfeeding nigga?

Yeah you gonna yeah, yeah, yeah, you don't like that.

Huh you don't like that though?

Yeah?

Now you got babies hanging on to your nipples?

Yeah yeah, what that feel like?

Yeah?

Take the baby on the road with your player.

Yeah if you carried your kids on the carry thing with the strap.

Yo, listen, I feel and get this wrongol yo, but this could be.

Listen, this could be.

This could be.

How does that feel?

This could be out of the troe because people make their own decisions.

But me personally, when I see a guy and the girl got seven kids, you know the strollers with the two, I said, man, he making the work too hard, bro, like he just boy?

And every time, you know, I can't give me hands and the baby.

I feel that way better.

Ain't walk belly.

This ain't the boarman's beat, I'm telling you.

And they do it because they be like, all right, we're married, We're gonna go seven babies.

And I'm like, yo, that ship a little bit too much on that girl right there and she boys Steven he I don't know if she ever get divorce.

I don't know who's like, yo, I want the yonder.

Somebody do want the eight somebody want Somebody want the someubbody want it.

Somebody always won't they want the aid.

Somebody want it, so as nobody for somebody another man's treasure.

You ain't fucking somebody want it.

Let me tell you.

I tell you the story with some men.

Okay, I'm like, damn it ain't no excuse for me not to have no im.

This is on me, on me.

Boogoo bigle wolves, boogle wolves.

When you see it's like you scared, snack, come at your nose.

We call we call these dudes stuck in the face.

When they're stuck in the there's nothing you could do, you so fucking ugly, you stuck in your face.

Yeah, we call them niggas.

Stuck in the face, and those are the ones that treat you like a goddess.

And I don't understand because well, some of them arrogant, like we know some stuck in the facers that come around girls and act like they the flyers dudes in the world.

But that means they got the money.

Stuck in the face, man, I swear, and God I went to I went.

I went to a party in Miami the other day, and I think I was just sitting there because people watch, and I think I was just looking at stuck in the facers the whole night.

I was like, Oh, he's stuck in the face.

He's you went to the ugly people party.

I think so.

I believe so.

And they were very friendly people.

But the friendly just told you, no, no, they friend Nah.

Some of them we know stuck in the facers that like, are really arrogant up stuff.

I just think when men get money, right, I think that's the biggest difference they ego.

Once they get money, they even get tough.

Or he could be the ugliest dude in America.

Think he handsome and flying like I don't know, hmmm, oh you gotta go.

Who's fun?

Oh?

It was yu Keita.

This is like what somebody throw a fat and they don't claim it, right, That's what's going on.

Five.

Well, it was an old it was.

There was a ring from the night on hundred that.

Your jaws on the plane and you're looking around like who fought it?

But you foight it, Joe.

That ring was from the nineteen hundreds.

So whoever did it got gray hair around their nuts.

It was great liars too, Chris.

We immediately looked at them.

Yeah, yeah, we immediately looked at them.

What you said?

I said that ring tone was from the nineteen hundreds.

That's the original telephone ring tone.

So whoever's phone that was, they got gray hair around their nuts?

Garant, damn it was the lady for she probably got.

Nuts, right hair, she probably got nuts, gray hair, gray hair around you know what I'm saying.

Listen, first black female comedy, the first black female comedy in the old Saturday Night Live is she wanted Emmy for the episode.

I thought the crazy you know what's Saturday Night Live?

Fush know what that is?

Tell me what that's like?

I treated you over it.

They treated me like a worker over there.

I put in the work and it was a lot of it was hard.

I lost ten pounds in like one week.

I was stressed.

I was really stressed out.

I was because I was living my dream.

That was my dream to like work for SML right, Like I wanted to be on that show so bad and I really wanted to do a good job.

And it was like the little girl in me was so excited I could barely eat.

Like I'm just like, you know how like if you go into some amusement park you always wanted to go to the day before, it's like hard to seek.

So the whole week was like that for me, so and I was just so excited.

I made sure I talked to every single writer, put my thumbprint on every sketch, Like I wrote my monologue out so many times, and then I went to the comedy club and worked it out like and then they been like, on the day it was like an eight minute monologue, they cut it down at six minutes.

I'm like, no, you can't cut out the Japanese.

I need to show people I can speak Japanese.

And they're like, no, no, Middle America won't understand this, and they want to and I was just like going back and forth with them and you know, fighting for what was like best for me and my brand and got what I could out and it was like it was it felt like I was in a hurricane, you know, like and when it was all done, I could feel the feelings right now, I'm like reliving it in this moment.

When it was all done, I was just like, Wow, I'm sitting in my hotel room.

I'm looking in the mirror and I'm like, there you go, little tea.

You dreamed about doing this, you did it.

Do you want to do it again?

And then I was like hell, motherfucker no, I want to go to sleep.

And I slept for like a day, and then I watched it and I was like so so proud of I was very proud of myself so that I didn't like that I did it.

I didn't quit on me.

I stuck to my guns and I was a team player and like, yeah, I was just very very honored.

And then when I got nominated for an.

Emmy for it, I was like incomplete shock because I think I never even thought that far.

I just wanted to represent, you know, and just and make the little girl in me like happy.

Yeah, that's crazy because and The similar thing was, you know, we on top of the world.

Remy goes to jail, I go to jail and lose all my money, and then we throwing all the way up.

And then we're performing at the BET Awards, and I remember that one second before we went out, we held each other's hands and we was like, oh shit, he came out there.

I'm all the way up.

You know.

Motherfucker's over there looking at you like they you wasn't supposed to see me, nigga right now?

Oh you getting all this bow maane, motherfucker you getting all that shick right.

But those moments are the moments where you can't sleep.

And also Puerto Rican Parade.

Every year, the Puerto Rican Parade.

I couldn't sleep the night before.

I be yup thinking about there, and they don't even let you go to like four in the afternoon, so you really up talk you're actually dreamed before the shit just you done, man Tide and the ship.

You gotta do the same shit over and over for like seventy blocks and the usually the Sunnis and shit crazy.

But yeah, I know the feeling, what what gets you?

Like that was your first time summer jam or something like, what what gets you?

You can't sleep, nothing you you smoke, you sleep, you get excited.

I get like that before every every performance, really, Helle always think I'm gonna mess up or forget something, look fall through.

The only time I get nervous is like a big New York show because we're from here.

You got a hundred people all of a sudden, Yo, we together every day two three D.

How does one hundred people show on every time?

I just want to know, like, if we're alone right now, if I gotta get busy, get in front of this fucking building right now, me against a hunting I gotta throw nobody know where to be found?

Why won't we do Madison Square Gone, hundred and fifty waiting for you out there like yo yo yo yo.

And then it's like that's that's where the pressure comes.

When I do something like Madison Square Gone.

That gives me a headache.

I need all taping people from second grade.

It's like a class reunion.

Oh yah, I love that.

I did the State.

Yeah, I did the Staple Center in LA and it was like my whole high school, junior high, in every elementary school I ever went to, filled up that whole dang theater and it was like the most amazing feeling in the world.

And then I was like, come backstage.

That was the dumbest thing I could have said.

What's the doumbest thing I could have said?

Everybody come backstage and every last person that haven't went to school.

Yeah, but it was like my bullies came backstage too, and that I loved because then I was like, yeah, I told you I was gonna make it.

Look at you in my backstage, like the people that used to tell me you ain't gonna make it, you just gonna be somebody, baby mama, you ain't shit.

You're gonna be on welfare, You're gonna be this like And for a long time I thought maybe they were right.

But I never gave up on me though, never quit on me.

And it's crazy.

Because I watch a lot of Cardi B's interviews from from day one to now, and she always talks about people saying you just gonna be a stripper, You ain't never gonna be that.

Really like people really are?

They really fucks with your mentality, either they you stronger or it just bullies you.

Yeah, they would be like you too pretty to do comedy?

Ain't nobody gonna laugh at your jokes.

Ain't nobody gonna be laughing at what you got to say, Like you should just get a rich baby daddy, and like you just too pretty for that shit, like pretty girls don't do that, And I'm like, but pretty girls don't do it, then all the more reason for me to do it.

Sound like it's a whole lane just for me.

They good, sound like it's something just for me.

Then I'll go ahead and open the motherfucking lane up then, And pretty girls don't do it, but beautif for women do do it.

And when people say, oh, girls aren't funny, okay, so you're saying your mama ain't shit because the first person that made you laugh.

Was your mama.

Is your mama ugly, your mama must be ugly.

Mama made you laugh, your mama and mama stuck in the face.

Your mama stuck in the face, because that the first nice to make you laugh.

And if your mama.

Stuck in the face, then you stuck in the fighter because you look just like her.

So like watch what you say.

I see one time this dude suit this girl like she's looking like the most beautiful the baby came out, he's suiting.

He's just like, Yo, this ain't what this not the baby, yo, yo, listen, yo, yo jada.

It's like doing so much fucking surgery.

Yeah, you're thinking you with the baddest chick in the world are stuck in the face came out they live like Yo, I didn't buy into this.

Yeah, that's not what I signed up for.

I ain't signed up.

And sometimes I be thinking, like some women, not just women, someone who.

Look when the baby could grow out of this stuff?

Sometimes they kiss if you do sing and you fantasize and over a woman you don't know, she did everything in the fucking world, and you come out you stuck.

You want to bush yonda you're gonna try to have a baby with the thinking you're gonna have the Filipino where that motherfucker come out like, yo, stuck, don't baby going off?

God forgive me for that.

That's just we be in fun nowt That's that's it.

It's fact, right, And sometimes they could grow out of it.

Yeah, no, hell no, no, they're gonna have the surgery always.

Some of them got a surgery out of it.

You know what I never understood, right, how get you fixed.

Stuck in the fike.

You surgery, can't surgery well surgery, that's houck.

Or you're gonna have to massage.

They face and they constantly say positive the East to them.

If you you are, you are kind, you are sweet, You glow when you step into a room.

Your people are attracted to your light.

Your light is better than your actual genetics.

Like old school ship, my grandmother.

You got a ring that can help it.

Stuck in the facer.

There's a lot of charisma, funny guy, a lot of charisma.

You know, somebody that you know.

The girls love their personality.

That takes away from the stuck in this.

Yeah, he gotta be funny.

I'm being honest.

Yeah, dude gotta be funny.

He gotta smell good.

He need to have good hygiene.

If his fingernails is cleaned.

We might because some god stink, right, Yeah, the how the fuck?

You don't know when you stink?

Man, they know they stink.

They think that thek for so long they don't know.

Regularly, Ship, you look at your something.

I was in the fucking boat Dagger the twenty thirst and the fucking windows was like foggy and this shiit stunk so much, ain't not listen.

I had to get out of there.

But I was getting something, and I say, yo, I had to tell the Doe riches with me.

I said, Yo, my man, this ship you stink, My man, and you you somebody need to tell you that your ship out of control.

And you don't just think you tearing the paint off this motherfucker like like like you know how you can't you know how you can't fire people for a certain reason that gotta be off limits, Like you can't discriminate.

You can't this.

If you're in my business smelling like shit, you got the fucking dope.

If you tearing the paint off, you can get fired.

How about how about them people I'm talking about the walls look like they smell good.

You ain't seeing them in a while to give you a hind and then they smell be stuck on your.

Sho I want a wedding.

One time I went to a wedding.

It's like somebody, one of my man's wife said, what's up?

I never forgot it.

I was just like, damn, and it's real bad.

It mighta been in twenty thousand dollars dress diamonds and that and and hit me and I said, I said, damn, this ain't right right, Like listen, I really like, you ain't never seen me stinking your fucking life.

Well, we was in George and shooting that movie that when ship one day, a little caller ship you.

You ain't never sell on me.

Steinking you was a little songcy that day.

I'm the post y'all for that.

Nigga, Molly smell like dirty gotta be fucking dolls.

Nuts smell like dirty crayons today, y'all.

He was a little softy that day.

It was hot, sticky out there.

I promise you where your brother at he could promise that nigga.

Maybe you were smelling him, you.

Want to he was smelling right.

I was you on like Carnea side of top.

I was sitting in the Sunda little minudeo song a sweet stack full of ship.

I was like, Oh, his nuts probably smell like salty plums and dirty crayon.

Yo.

I'm one of the cleanest men you ever meet in your fucking life.

Everybody not on that day.

Everybody was a little softy that day.

Everybody loved groovy and you just have a big groovy little to stylens, my man groove, you know, groove stinkers.

No, I took them with me on tour.

I had to show over the water.

I don't want to stay well because I wanted to go back.

But oh yeah, that's just one of them show where I should have never did this song.

Put your hands off.

Crazy, that's ship chronic.

I get through all of that.

I smell cut through the air.

It's horrific.

I get it.

I get through.

I'm backstage, you chilling now.

This is when they still got the disposable, the yellow camera.

Shure, I'm talking to somebody bruise over there and laughing.

I wonder what he's laughing for.

When I turned around, it's one of them with no shirt on.

He took his shaufie with me.

Look, I was the mad at you know, some of them more players.

It was all over my shoulder.

It was, and it's like, you gotta burn the shirt because it turns out body.

I won't say who, but I seen you with a guy one time, and I seen you.

You was handling him like a dude.

Dude.

Yeah yeah, you was like yo, stay there and this guy was actually flying.

Nah.

She had like I can't say, but I was watching you.

You was moving like a dude, like you was like, you're over there.

You know you move and I moved.

Just this day.

I was looking.

I said, damn, Tiffany really on top of the world right now handling them allfucker like that, like you know, she had him like, you know, on the side.

No, no picks with you nowhere near?

You know, she had that boy like, yeah, Tip your tip.

I seen it.

I see it without just one of those was it.

It's a couple of those.

No, was the NBA player player the NBA players getting Now we're getting warmed.

I'm just saying, no, I'm not.

We're not doing that you.

I'm just saying I was shunning them.

I ain't hit one of those, liar, I had trying to hit Tip.

You've been lying a lot, you know, I am not the first of all.

What you ain't is no lie.

Okay, Hey, I'm not finna lie on my stuff.

I have yet to hear the NBA player.

I am working on it tentatively.

That's why now now now, now, maybe maybe you I was there, I was performing live.

You were shunning him, you had him over there, stuff like this.

He's a fly god to you had him like, I wasn't there.

We move now, I wasn't said first of all.

First of all, I wasn't there with him.

I was there with that white boy that was reaching over your food.

And that's why I was checking.

Maybe the ovidude was on the other side of end, but I was checking the white boy that was reaching over your food, and I say, don't be reaching out for food like that.

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Yo.

I was at your stand up and you talked about you went to jail in Beverly Hills.

Yes, how was that like?

So nice?

I've been to many jails.

I've been to many jails.

I'm gonna tell you that's the nicest jail I ever been to, and I've been to like ten or fifteen, and I'm gonna saying that was the nicest when they got a call button in there.

It's very clean there except police.

The police are very like respectful, I guess because they're getting paid more than the average police officer.

It was great.

They served like peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and actual tang like.

It was great.

You know, I wasn't great.

I went to UK right, so I was been from the UK for no reason, for many reason because I went to jail.

But they so they wouldn't let me back in and the promoters would be like, yo, I got you, I got the juice just to say.

I'd be like, yo, bro, I can't get in.

So they booked me for one of them stadiums over there and they like yo boom.

So I fly over there and they go, fat, yo, what's up?

This is just something's the wharf?

Could you step back here with me?

That's just sure, no problem is that?

Could you?

And I just came off the plan.

I'm in the airport.

It was like could you put your hands in there?

And they searched me nicely It was like they opened up a thing and it was like, you want a turkey sandwich.

I took a turkey sandwich, a juice haping, a juice of this.

Then it took me to this room.

They opened the door.

I went inside.

They closed the door with no handling it like hello, you in the nicest jail ever created.

It was I'm stuck here there to poster ball Mally a couch in jail in the UK.

I'm sitting there was the most pleasant here you go to jail.

Shit.

But did they have a.

Car button in there?

They had no fucking cause line had a call button in it and it actually worked.

I pushed the.

Button like I've been to jail before it and like if you want the police attention, you gotta scream out.

Officer, somebody daddy here.

I'm believing the death like and then they'll show up like thirty forty five minutes later.

But in Beverly Hills, you push that car button, they come right through the intercom immediately.

Yes, miss Hattish, do you need something like?

Yeah, my cycles started in here, y'all toilet paper.

I don't know what y'all got in here.

This toilet paper made out of rice, paper or something.

It disintegrates immediately.

Do y'all have any like sanitary lunkins?

And when I tell you the best Maxi pad, the thing was huge.

It went around the biggest pad I ever seen in my life.

It went from the top of my belly button to my brass strap.

Nigga, And I was wearing a thong, so it looked like a fellow in a rope.

And now I'm gonna spoke.

I'm a spokesperson for Beverly Hills jail pads.

I really liked that jail.

I really think every police station, like I don't know if you can learn from them, they could learn from them.

And it's just I felt like a human right And maybe I made a mistake.

But if I ever decided to make any mistakes ever again, I only want to do it in Beverly Hill.

In Beverly Hills, because they just disconnect between let's say civilians and offices.

Is how they talk to you and how they treat you.

You know, she said.

The best thing she said is I felt human.

I made a mistake.

Maybe I made a mistake.

Maybe they throwing this shit out Monday at the court.

But one thing they don't do.

Is the cops always fair?

I never I have.

I have a real tough problem with police to like I have a now more than ever, I have a real tough time because I am superurely rich compared to these guys right now, and when they pull me over and they want to talk to me.

Now, I'm just telling you, when they want to talk to me like they could talk like they God or they the king of Earth.

And I'm sitting there.

The last guy who stopped me, I said, Yo, my man, dude, what the fuck you want to do?

Either giving me the ticket?

On on my way and dead ass?

I'd like to be respectful.

You not talking to me.

I'm with my family.

You talk to me like I'm less of a man in all, I'm not me Jose.

I'm not going for that.

So give me the ticket.

Do what you gotta do.

If not your poor I'm rich.

I don't give a fuck what you're talking.

Yeah, I'm saying King.

I know, Rodney King.

But what I'm trying to tell you is a very respectful your license and registration.

Here you go.

This is that.

Here you go.

Don't be having meetings, whether you want to give me a ticket, for no reason anyway, And you're about twenty four years old.

Like, yo, bro, come on, you don't have posters of us in your war growing up.

Get the fuck out of it.

I'm not a problem in jail with them niggas.

He was not talking to me like that.

You know why I happened at that party over day.

I see my man Toffee in Miami.

He was in jail with me.

If I'm Cat and any of the Mongolians, every shit I'm talking about, that guy would tell you he is not saying that I did not have the I'm sitting over there right, motherfucker's working and they want to eat.

I don't have a problem.

I got twelve dozen of chicken every every fucking day.

I got whatever the fuck I want.

I'm living like my ship, like a fucking warmth in his pro saying, I'm not lying to you.

My ship, they give you chicken, a piece of chicken on every Thursday.

If I'm lying to you, are you talking?

I had a dozen of fucking chicken legs every day.

This I love chicken legs.

Yo.

The corruption I hated, you know what I mean?

It ain't pigeon the well yarysquell all right.

The point is one day I seen nothing expensive they supposed to feed.

You, say, nine in the morning, it was damned near like one o'clock and all the work, and these guys are they ain't got nothing, so they waiting on that whatever they cooking for, So they made chickens.

This correction officer due he was black too, by the way.

He came with them boots, rubber boots up there here and shit, and this guy be talking that ship.

He come up, nigga, Hold up, these niggas have been waiting for like twelve hours to eat these chicken wings that they made.

Hold up.

Flip that over, Flip that over.

Yeah, that one there before the prisoners eat.

He was in there like making the selection.

I went up in there and grabbed chicken wings in his face.

Get the fuck out of here with that shit.

Huh much.

I knew he got into the words.

I walked away with that.

I'm not dumb niggas.

All these niggas U see getting smacked on the back of their head and all that.

That's not Jo crack.

And to tell you the truth, I had twelve dousand chicken like.

I didn't even need the wings.

I did it just to let him know, nigga, I don't give a fuck about what you're thinking gonna were pout.

I'm not going for that shit.

I don't know about I haven't been to prison.

I only been to No.

Two.

Listen, they was the leged in I never miss yourself for three hours.

By the way, that guy the next day he used to fuck with people the most.

That next day he came back and said sorry, he did his history.

He said, Yo, I'm sorry.

I did not know what tom.

I said, Oh, I'm not trying to flip, but you did them.

I had a girl in the jail.

She was a fucking you could.

Her name was Raggedy Ann.

She have red hair.

She walk around like this.

She do she walk around?

Did she work this?

Yes?

It was the corruption offic sudden, just wh house with these raggedy ann Listen, what are we doing?

She's raggedy Ann, bro.

And she walk up in there, this white lady with the red hair.

She walk up in there, tripping on niggas.

Every this my fucking jail and I'm this this this me and her, we ain't even have to talk.

So in the jail, I work in the kitchen.

They got the kitchen for the cops in the same thing.

Of course, Fat Joe used to walk up in there pull out the sneak of ice cream.

Boss, when the shit walk out with the ice cream every day, I ain't give a fuck, like nothing, I'm not sneaking one day the bitch catching she grab as shit.

She couldn't even wait for something with Fat Joe.

She this my mother fucking jail.

This this this a movie.

I'm like, you know I'm wrong.

You know she caught me still in this ship.

I'm just walking away.

She talking to shit.

We in the building, so we on our way to go up.

She are saying this, it's a hundred niggas.

I'm like, I made sure I was ninety nine.

You heard two time, felling like I'm in the back of the line.

Helly, motherfucking think they rich and famous here this is.

I said, well, mister, might be gotta be talking about me.

If I step out in the line, you gotta be talking about me.

She said, well, maybe I'm talking about you.

I said, miss look, let me tell you the bad news.

I've been in here three months.

I only got four of my mansions on the water down the block.

You only got one month to run it off.

If you want to fuck with me every day and try to play with me, I'm out of here in two fucking three weeks.

She said, well, what if you leave in the pine box?

One hundred niggas shut the fuck up so fat they were like, I got back in the line.

I said, oh, let me not play with this.

Sure enough, eight months after I'm in jail, I can't sleep One night looking at the local news in Miami.

Federal correction officer kills her husband, throws them off the boat in the middle of this bitch killed her husband and they had the cameras on the houses showing her dumping the Boxy, yo, this bitch is she's in Nigger The facts called me one day.

He was like, this is the federal disc I said, who the federal Yeah, we heard you had an incident.

I said, money, get the fuck out of here.

I hang up the phone so fast and I dropped.

But she killed the husband.

Raggedy Ann was the truth.

Raggedy Ann, you know, Tiffany, you got this new show.

Let's let's trying to obviously ain't trying to sell back.

She obviously, I ain't trying to sell No, nown polish.

She ain't trying to sell no foot polished that she got a show man.

Let's hear it.

Yo, Yo, Tiff, I'm not going to forgive you for that ship you said.

I stunk like balls like this.

I'm not that ball out.

Your bass smelled like dirty crayons.

Probably, I'm not sure dirty dirty smell like everybody tested.

Before we get it should though, you know I always.

Got a swing with all our guess guess what he got too?

Mean, he got two with me, yo, you did it.

He got two with me, and it's fire.

We got two of them when they for Tiff.

Yeah, slappers, slappers, dangers, straight up banger.

He talk with you because I asked him for a verse.

I got to wait three years.

This guy, yeah you alive.

No, No, he can't.

His ship is fired though, like his bars is like he never missed undeniable.

He was like when I heard it the first time, I cried, I was so happy, and then I was like, well, I don't have his phone number so I could like show you my gratitude.

I had to call this person to call that power.

I kind of it made me feel some type of ways.

Until Brinkley got involved.

I thought it was a scam.

I'm like this really, Fontifity had like you know what I'm saying, one.

Of them mine it was, and we're gonna drop that soon.

Too few parties.

But then it's a real thing.

So yes, going down.

Yeah, and it's going down her hilarious after real deal.

Man.

You know, whenever I invited to my birthday party, she's in town.

She come in.

Whatever I asked her for.

She always solid.

She wanted the few people in the industry that you could always count on if she could make it happen.

And you right off the top.

I'm gonna be there if I could be there, and if I can't, I can't.

He showed up.

You show up and I danced all night and I think he sweat almost got me pregnant.

Remember that night, Oh my god, swe wanted to take it down.

He takes me out the club again again.

I was like, I was dancing at s w V and shit like this was prizy.

I gets so week.

You know, she's funny.

This is that's the way Mary, Jamie and Mary was drinking it death for the party and then I can't party with you.

It was like, you know, it's crazy Floyd Mayweather walked in that night.

Money may Weather right birthday party had a sea through bag with bricks of gold in the bag, and motherfucker might have walked in for twenty thirty minutes, walked around everybody with the fucking gold bars and the shit, and just left.

Floyd Mayweather.

Boy, he be flexing.

Oh he flexed.

He said he was gonna make a donation to my charity when I went and bought the groceries for the people, and I'm still waiting.

Floyd.

You showed all that money on ig like I got you, tif, I got you, held up bricks and breaks the money, and you still didn't make the donation.

I try to ask better couple of those, but you always paid.

You ain't sucking me.

I come up to this state charity pure sucker.

You ever heard of a pure sucker?

Now you're like, I go, I'm telling you what kind of man?

That's only truth.

I walk into charity if just suckd I It's like they throw the motherfucking light on my boom.

You're sucking lord, you sucking down, clean buddy?

What your suckond down?

I woun'd eve, I go to the lit where your lips is shaped.

I go to the charity they Joe come through show let me bro speed you right, let me feed.

I'm the truth is I go to the charity event and I wear a little suit.

I think of supporting.

Somebody tell me tu time fellas say yo, we're doing the charity whatever.

I come throughing the shot you got fat Joe in the building.

I really ain't come for you to throw the light on me and go boom, mister fat Joe, what do you think you got?

Thirty six thousand?

Night now forty six thousand?

Right now?

Do you got fifty six thousand?

This?

Fat Joe got fifty six thousand?

He got this?

I'm like, what the fuck got?

Soul fact Joe?

This that shit happens to me?

Or I might not be going no more.

I don't want to go no more.

I don't want to go to your child invite you to my chariot.

I don't want you to send me to that because I don't want to go for fun.

And you could just give me the thirty thousand before you get your relationship with a good friend of mine who I love, Jason Lee, tell me about that's a special.

Yeah if if he was into girls, like he would be my man.

For'd be like, hey, daddy, be my baby daddy.

I'll let him shoot up the club.

God, yeah, let him shoot up the clip boy.

We went to Columbia together and I was just like, yo, I wish I could.

Move like that.

I can't move like that though, but no, no I could.

Now you can't yeah or shout out Jason.

So, speaking of Columbia, I took did me and my girls?

We traveled.

I didn't take him to Columbia, but I took four of my girls to Africa and he shot it.

And it's a show called Tiffany Goes Off.

And these are my friends since we was like in junior high and high school, and uh, we've been friends all these years, you know, just ten because I'm so young.

And we traveled all the way to Africa and we.

Went to we went to Cape Town, Zimbabwe, Zanzibar, and we got into some stuff.

And I'm gonna tell you, initially the network wanted it to be a reality show.

But I don't do ratchetness.

Like I might come off like I do the ratchett shit, but I don't do all that the way we like, if.

We have you're in the batties.

Well, I'm a baddie, but I'm not.

I'm not about to Like you're not gonna fight a bit on camera.

No, I'm gonna fight shr ass when the cameras is off.

We're gonna Miley Wop in the room.

But we we've known each other so much, shah.

But we've known each other so long, don't We just can have a conversation, right like we never argue over nothing like that.

We just have a conversation.

So you see black women moving how black women actually moved, How they move when they don't have to do all this fighting stuff, when they can use their words and they intellect fun.

Rich black woman ship?

Are you not.

Let me take some because all this ship?

I move like a regular human being.

I don't move like I'm the richest.

I don't move like it got it popping or nothing like that.

I move like how I always want to live my life, and that is like a normal human being.

I don't need people surrounding me and be like oh my god, Tiffany Like if you see me and you recognize me, I love them.

We'd be like hey, what up, Tiff, And I'll be like what up because I'm a regular person.

I don't need to be.

I was Africa experience.

Did you meet one of them seven foot?

Yes, I'm the Nigerians that hagged you.

First of all, we didn't go to Nigeria.

We didn't go to Nigeria.

We went to king Town, We went to a Victoria Falls, we went to Zanzibar, we went to Ahari and yeah, I mess some very tall, handsome, beautiful men.

I don't know about cock diesel, but that's what you was gonna say.

I'm they had big cock.

I don't want to tell you what's going on, Joe?

What's going on?

Yo?

Let me tell you something, Joe, Joe, I'm not an international.

I don't hold internet.

You internet, I don't hold internet.

I did hold audition.

So you use some of them in the show with you?

Yes, so me and my.

Girls in the show.

And then there was some guys that popped up.

Some of them were actors, like famous actors in South Africa.

Like so this dude like named Primo.

He's real popular over there.

He in a lot of movies in Africa, but most Americans probably never seen him before.

So he came to the comedy show and stuff and was like holling at me.

We went out to the party, went to a couple of parties or whatever.

I think he thought.

I was like finna be with the business, but like he don't have a credit score.

They don't have credits.

How am I gonna ran down rant this?

I can't just give up, Like I gotta see how many goats?

How many cows do you got?

Like I need to figure out which what's the you know, yeah, cause that's rich, Like you got diamonds.

Ain't nothing, that's nothing.

That's nothing.

It's like they got food though, Like look I got ten cows, I got thirty seven goats.

That's a rich man.

He can feed me.

He got I got land I got I'm growing this.

To me, that's sexy.

And that's why my on Farmers only dot Com with up ted, Like I'm into duce.

That got land that can feed me, that can provide if armageddon come, if everything on there, there got to be a.

Place where we can go.

And he needs to know how to use guns and how to grow food.

That don't have nothing to do with the showow listen, it's like super fined us.

We went out to Africa.

That's beautiful.

Yeah, and you picked some pretty cool spots.

Yeah, hands and near the furthest I ever been in my life.

That plane take a break, You take the plane, the plane land in the middle of nowhere to get more gas.

Yeah, they actually let you walk out of the plane.

Yeah, like you know, in the middle of nowhere, and then.

You go back on That shit was fall, said it was, but it was one of the most beautiful places.

That's how I knew I was.

That was one of the places I knew I was famous because I flew further than I ever flew in my life.

And when I landed, it might have been like five or six in the morning.

So we got in these trucks and we're going to the hotel and we almost ran the dude over he was going to work.

He backed up and he started to curse.

He was like, oh shit, said Joe.

I was like, oh my god, this shit is far as hell.

We was walking through a village.

We just walking through a village.

They got chickens running around, kids playing.

I'm thinking nobody's gonna recognize me, and just walking.

I ain't got no makeup, I'm just keeping it regularly, just getting my exercise.

And they're like, Tiffany hotsh Tiffany hottish, and they like trying to take pictures and stuff.

They're like wait, wait, wait, so they got the old cameras right, gearing it up like it was so like it.

I loved the continent.

I love that continent.

I would like to explore every single corner of it.

And I feel like, as a person with some wealth here in America, if I can drop my money over there and build a bridge, like I really think that that's the main purpose.

My main purpose was to build a bridge.

Between African Americans in Africa and so they can see what it really is.

Because what they're showing us at two o'clock in the morning on TV is not what it is.

What they're showing us in this movie, that movie is not what it is.

And for me, like I travel all to all kinds of places where you know, most people like why would you go there?

What you're doing over there?

Like then you see that this is going on, this is going on what I want to see with my own eyes.

And when you go see for yourself what it is, you realize what the media is showing you, what's going on.

Your algorithm is not the truth always, So I'm always.

I've been everywhere in Africa.

Yeah, there's you been the eritrail.

I've never been Toil.

Have you been to your booty?

Average your booty it is called your booty called there's a part of Africa Jaden.

Maybe you ain't noticed.

It's called Equatorial guineare they on Spanish?

So every year New Year's I had the super lick.

Every year they would hire me to go over there with a bunch of southsid bands of fat Joe kicking hip hop.

The whole place in Africa talks man ain't Gola talk Portuguese.

So in Gola everybody go from Angola to Brazil.

So Brazil was Portuguese in Africa, so they talked Portuguese.

They really African.

That was the stop on the way over here.

But I've been in so many different parts of Afghana, god bone, I've been everywhere and everywhere.

One everybody ain't laying there in ohy.

I mean, I was thinking about some blood diamonds, but the ship I didn't know the right plugs.

I was trying to get the blood dom I could.

I could connect you in all the dime, all the diamonds ain't blood diamonds.

All the diamonds ain't blood diamonds.

Some of it is actually like feeding the village and taking care of people when it's our people.

So it's like, you know, then I got you something.

Africa one of the most beautiful places in the world.

It's crazy, how well now they got their own ship popping with all the Afro beats and all that they man had that.

But when I was going over there, it's but when I would go over there, man, they would show so much love to Americans because they was that's pretty much the only black people they seen.

Michael Jordan's beyond say this, this, this.

They're looking at everybody tipping he had us.

They looking at everybody.

Look, she's doing movies.

How many girls want to be actresses in Africa or be comedians And they're like, yo.

They just starting a comedy scene out there.

They're like they didn't have comedy for so long and they're just getting it started, like in the last like seven eight years.

I'm sure, but they like open Michael King, Michael Blacks is the king of comedy over there.

Huh, original black guy.

There's a few that's like killing it that's not necessary that you never heard of.

That's like got more followers than Michael Blaxon.

You gotta remember there's more people on that continent than there is over here.

Yes, and and you got to invest in the continent.

Bro.

If they if they putting money in your pocket like that, you gotta invest in.

You know, I'm trying to buy that Harlem River Drive bridge, the bridge from the Halem to the Bronx.

That's the ship I want to you know what I'm saying.

I'm trying to do Hall ofm the Bronx.

You know what I'm saying.

You talked about body the way wanted, not where you tolerated.

You got the wants it not where you tolerting.

Go where you're celebrated.

Now where you know, Stephanie Mills taught me that one time.

She told me that.

She said, Joe, I go where I'm celebrated.

Now, where I'm tolerant, I don't even need it.

There's a lot of tolerated one fuckers on right.

It's a lot of tolerated motherfuckers that when you see motherfucker come around, nobody really like them, and they still just keep coming around.

I got guys like, that's the FEDS, they defects.

I believe that somebody told me that.

So, but there's a guy, there's a guy that always shows up.

How's this, How's that?

Who's this?

This?

This?

And we'll be like, what the fuck is this dude doing?

It?

Don't matter what.

Wait, he's the fat.

Somebody told me that.

Somebody said this nigga the fat.

I don't know when people ask so many questions, I asked them to leave.

Yeah, he do.

If you can't just be in the environment, like especially if you're not on my payroll, you need to go this more.

Guay is showing up.

This one Yuay is showing up since the beginning of time.

And he's just tolerated.

Wow, when we pull up, he's just tolerated.

And so when he pull up, so I remember, one night, are you tolerating?

I'm in Prome?

What does he bring it to the table?

I'm in Prime War twelve.

Five in the morning.

They left us the whole restaurant with my wife Mary Jay drinking.

I'm near security.

No security were leaving at five in the morning.

This nigga outside the fucking Prime one twelve.

So I tell Mary Ess and Mary, don't worry, don't worry.

I know this this that we open the door.

She said, I know this nigga.

She called them by the name of one in the color.

I said, Yo, So this guy just storm everybody.

He shows up, you know him.

He just stalks every celebrity to the table though absolutely nothing.

I've been trying to get rid of this guy for thirty years, but he keeps showing up and he throws this face.

Are you trying to get rid of that one billion person?

I would ask him, what are you bringing to the type of why are you showing up?

I won't even give him my hand.

I'm sure they're watching this.

Whenever I perform at Club eleven Miami, there's one hundred and fifty dudes out there and they came and they sit in my section and I'm in the corner like this where I can't even enjoy it, and they just pop up and a lot of those guys are tolerated.

Yes, I went there this weekend.

It was one hundred and fifty guys in my own ship.

Everybody cold.

I don't know, man, I don't know what promoter.

Man, the promoter is these guys.

You can't pistol peak.

He's my brother.

He's celebrated.

But he come with twenty dudes.

I don't know, but you gotta and this guy come with twenty us.

I don't know it.

This time.

Can only bring two bro Like, don't be coming with all these unnecessary people.

I need spaces for my bitches.

That's what I say all about it.

If I give you money in the strip club, right, because I personally don't throw money in the st I know, I mean to say, the money, brain, I throw it way.

If I give you five hundred dollars, five hundred dollars, five hundred dollars, fied, if you could throw the money, don't think I don't see you only throw a hundred and you put the four hundred in your pocket.

Its levels of bumnus going on in this world.

It really is.

Now.

See what I do is I throw the money and then I'll start picking it up off the floor, because.

Then I put in work.

I work for my money as more as Chestnut.

But I did play with More's Chestnut.

And the whole cast went to the strip club and Morris and like the the male actors gave all the girls that was in the play money to throw to the other girls, and we threw it out and then you know, everybody else was chill, but I was like, oh, I gotta clean up this area before somebody slips in falls.

And I picked the money up and then I put it in my BX and I said, I earned this money.

I cleaned it up.

Fat any stand ups coming up?

So I'm going to Alabama, and I'm going to Alabama and Mississippi this weekend and then next next year, well February start.

February next year.

I'm hearing all these small comedy clubs and places you would never think I would go, just because I know they need it.

They need the comedy relief.

So you know, I was saying out in La with Jeff Ross.

I love Jeff, and it was like the week before the roasting of Tom Brady, and I watched them practiced it.

Y'all, guys, actually go to the comedy club.

Everybody is famous.

You go in that lady comedy club on a regular night and needs comedian you ever thought you wanted to meet in your life is sitting in there, and they practicing there.

Imagine you re styling the spot and all the rappers are in there.

And so I went in there and it was so funny.

And then when I've seen it on Netflix, I was like, Yo, this ship I was dead.

This guy was practicing.

Yeah ship.

The show is called what because this show.

Is called Tiffany how this goes off.

You can see in November thirteenth, Thump Peacock.

You gotta check it out because it's real, it's fun and you'll enjoy it.

I can promise you that.

I mean, have you been having trouble watching the NBA games, Like you don't know where this shit is at?

Now here's something.

It's on NBC.

No, it's not.

One day on NBC, then it's on ESPN, then it's on V then it's on this This shit crazy to find a fucking game.

It's like, yo, like looking at YouTube, big.

Mistake, God, Like we cannot go to a designated spot every day.

That shit changed.

One day I'm thinking this on problem, The next day is on Peacock, The next day is on ESPN.

Today, Yo, y'all bogging out with this ship.

I'm pretty sure it's on Peacock because they gave me a jacket that said NBA is back at the Peacock.

They gave me a letterman coat and it was like, you know, twenty twenty five, the NBA's back for Peack.

Remind me never to wear this ship again.

Give it to me.

I'll wear it for you know, I fucked some bloods before.

You fucks bloods before they'll appreciate it.

Bloods ain't cribs.

Yeah, it's supposed to.

Has no color line.

Dangerous, dangerous, thundercatown.

You know.

Somebody me and my sister was talking about this, like how when you in your twenties, you were Puma.

In your thirties is cougar.

In your forties you were Thundercat and in your fifties you were saper tooth Tiger.

And then if you in your sixties, you were toothless, saper tooth tiger.

And then with the boys, I think the woman, the woman don't stop.

The woman never stopped.

Yes, we do, like gosh, they get you know, they get tired or they you know, they leave that buy if they ain't got the right system, they fucked up.

But the women don't stop.

Yes, we they're seventy years old with boyfriends in the fucking aarp.

The fucker well, you know, the STD rate in.

The old folks, home is at an all time high.

That's why that's the best place to get it, to see what happened, because they like, ain't nobody.

Getting pregnant in him?

Old?

And they all from they all from the free love era from the sixties when people used to just have sex and all you got is chlamydia gonorrhea from the clap you know.

Now you get gun of her paciphilades.

You know.

But they're like, look, I'm old, well, I'm about to leave anyways, let it itch, let it leave.

I don't care, make me come listen.

Let me tell you something.

It's out of control.

They even fathom that they're seventy year olds still looking for your grandma.

Fucking your grandma fucking that's how you got here, granny throwing that ass back.

Hips messed up for a reason.

They'll give me, my lord, she ain't lying fifty sixty and he's still there.

All this my boyfriend and what doing?

How should it's like a fossil?

Why let me do you you're trying to get rocking.

Let me tell you this story about homegirl.

My knees she broke up, Like so my home girl had to break up with her husband because she came home.

This is during COVID.

She came home and he was sleeping with the housekeeper.

The housekeeper was sixty three years old.

He was in the bed with the.

No sixty three old Dominican ladies look right, and this is.

Sixty three year old Mexicans.

They'd be walking up and down Broadway their legs is right, sweeping and mopping.

I just want to know what makes a man avo, what makes a man at the house want to sleep with the house Like, these guys are fucking sick in the head, right, they won't sticking the face sick.

He's ony in the dick.

That's what it is.

You know, nanny the nanny's twenty five.

I would have rather him sleep with the nanny.

This is like, what does that mean about me?

What does that say about me?

I said, it's just saying it open enough, That's what that say.

That motherfucker.

Now, old lady know.

She wrote a ruder.

That motherfucker.

She got experience.

If anything, you should have stopped and washed him.

Been like, let teach me your ways, Rose Limba.

Now these motherfuckers teach me your ways.

Wherever Leanous, my girl in New York.

There we go?

Is that?

No?

No, no, no, no, I don't play that ship.

I'm a gentleman.

Man.

You gotta be man's calls to see the Kingdom man all changes.

I've been hanging out with this dude.

He's so polite.

But I can tell you just look like throw mama off the train too, like they like, because now I'll keep look like, look like, where's the beef?

Like like they got the hump on the bat?

Ain't no system going on around here?

They picked them wise over here?

There where's the beef they got?

And those be the ones that come off the train?

Those the goblins?

You make that sounds Tiffany, what's wrong?

What happened?

Are you watching the show?

Huh?

Don't this?

The housekeepers?

Okay, you can't go away from the back watching that ship in the control booth like y'all you just yeah, don't think the truck.

We love you, thanks for coming.

This ain't that that?

Ain't this?

It's cracked kidding.

And here.

I don't have a housekeeper.

I'm looking for one, preferably melt