[Courtney] Hello everyone and welcome back.

My name is Courtney, I am here with my spouse, Royce, and together we are The Ace Couple.

And today we’re gonna have a little fun.

I picked up a goofy little book recently that gave me inspiration for this episode.

In fact, I found it at my just favorite little used bookstore in Kansas City, Prospero’s, and it just so happened to be during the week where we were finally doing our finale to our big three year long all ace D&D campaign.

There was just so much joy, so much love.

We had so many of our ace friends around us, and we’re in this little used bookstore and I find this book called Oxymoronica: Paradoxical Wit and Wisdom from History’s Greatest Wordsmiths.

So imagine my delight when I crack open this book to see exactly what the heck it is.

Or I don’t know about delight, maybe horror.

We’ll– We’ll see what these quotes are.

Maybe, maybe it’s delight and horror in equal measure.

[Royce] Have you read them at all?

Did you look at any before this?

[Courtney] I skimmed a few pages but I haven’t actually looked at the chapters we’re going to be looking at.

Because there is an entire chapter on sex, love and romance, which I think we’re going to dig into today.

[Royce] Was there also one on marriage or relationships?

[Courtney] Yeah, marriage, home and family life is another separate chapter.

So depending on how many of these we get to, this might actually be a two part episode as we go through both of these chapters.

But this book is written by Dr Mardy Grothe, who has coined the term oxymoronica.

Examples being: “Melancholy is the pleasure of being sad,” by Victor Hugo; or “You’d be surprised how much it costs to look this cheap,” Dolly Parton.

And in the introduction to the concept of oxymoronica the author says: “I use the word oxymoronica to describe quotations that contain incompatible or incongruous elements.

Many examples of oxymoronica appear illogical or self-contradictory on the surface, but at a deeper level they usually make a great deal of sense and are often profoundly true.” [Courtney] So we’ll be the judge of that.

We’re gonna dig into the sex, love and romance chapter and see exactly how profoundly true we find these quotes to be.

A lot of them are famous quotes of history from, like, well known pieces of literature or well known historical figures.

Some are a little more modern than others.

Like I saw some quotes in here just skimming from like Lord Byron and then we’ve got people like Oscar Wilde.

Obviously Dolly Parton was one of the first examples they gave.

So that’s a modern person, so.

Let’s just pull a sampling of some of these quotes and see how much we hate them.

Or, conversely, maybe there will be some nuggets of wisdom in here that we can get behind.

[Courtney] So, right off the bat, we’ve got a few quotes that I already really hate.

Such as: “What a man enjoys about a woman’s clothes are his fantasies of how she would look without them.” Boo!

I don’t like it.

There are a lot on the same vein, though.

Because then it goes on, you know, there’s one by Coco Chanel here that says: “A woman is closest to being naked when she is well dressed.” There’s almost a positive spin that could be put on that one that, in the right context, I’d be okay with if it was talking about, like, some sort of vulnerability of like being yourself and using your style to convey something to the world in an authentic way, and that’s what they mean by being naked.

But it’s lumped in with these other quotes.

This one just says: “There is no woman so naked as one you can see to be naked under her clothes.” No!

No!

I don’t like it.

[Royce] So getting into this, I was kind of assuming a lot of heavily gendered comments.

[Courtney] Yes.

[Royce] And maybe this will be more in the, like, marriage and family section, but I assumed a lot of what is now characterized as, like, boomer humor.

[Courtney] Oh yeah, how much of it is just gonna be like I hate my wife.

[Royce] Yeah.

[Courtney] We’ll see.

But yeah, heavily gendered, you are correct.

Because here’s one that says: “A man chases a woman until she catches him.” And then, “A man is never so weak as when a woman is telling him how strong he is.” And this one is from 1948, the Lady’s Home Journal.

And I really want to know what the greater context is in this one, because the singular quote that got pulled is: “It takes a lot of experience for a girl to kiss like a beginner.

Like, was that a how to on how to kiss?

It might have been.

Now, this quote here is an anonymous source, but this is the first one I’ve read so far that I’m like, yeah, I can agree with that to a certain extent because it’s not heavily gendered.

It’s not about men sexualizing women.

It just simply says: “In the act of loving, you arm another person against you.” And I think why I like that so much is that that quote can still apply to all other forms of love.

It does not have to be romantic or sexual love.

Like if you open yourself up to, like, a deep, loving friendship, that kind of emotional vulnerability can hurt you if things go sideways.

If you have children and love children profoundly, you can be hurt by them.

[Courtney] I don’t know.

I like quotes about love that are not exclusive to one specific type.

Although, on that note, there is still only so much of that that I can get behind, because– I’m not even going to read all of these, because so many of them are saying exactly the same thing and it’s just the whole like, “Love is great, but also it sucks.” Like, like: “The sweetest joy, the wildest woe is love.” Okay.

Or: “Oh, what a heaven is love, oh, what a hell.” Like okay, all right.

And there are several of these.

It’s just– I think maybe the reason why I don’t like them as much is because it’s so passive.

When people do make comments like that about how love is so great but also so awful it’s– there’s a passiveness to it.

Like love is just something that happens to you and you just get to get joy and hate from it as it happens around you.

And I guess I like the more active, “In the act of loving, you arm another person against you.” Like I am making a choice to be vulnerable, I am opening myself up to pain.

[Royce] Yeah, that makes sense.

I also hadn’t read much of this book.

I think I flipped it open to one of the chapters and just saw the layout.

But the fact that they have a bunch of similar, in essence at least, quotes right next to each other, there’s definitely going to be like one or two that stand out, as you know, they were written better or were a bit wittier.

Like you said, pulled in, or, you know, got to the heart of the issue a little bit more well.

[Courtney] A lot of them are just, you know, cliches.

[Royce] Yeah.

[Courtney] We– we have, at this point in time, come to know these as cliches that we’ve heard a thousand times over, in several different ways.

[Royce] Yeah.

You refer to them as passive, it’s also by speaking of something like love and mentioning it’s both a heaven and hell, the person seems so far removed from it.

[Courtney] And yeah, I suppose sometimes the connotation of, like, the pleasure and pain thing, like the two sides, it is both at the same time.

I know people will use them as known cliches that a lot of people must relate to because they’re said over and over again.

But I do always have to wonder, like, what kind of love are you talking about and in what context?

Because like this one seems very melodramatic also, from an 18th century writer: “What a recreation it is to be in love.

It sets the heart aching so delicately.

There’s no taking a wink of sleep for the pleasure of the pain.” And it’s like, all right, you’re saying you’re in pain but the pain is pleasurable.

Which if you’re into that kind of thing, that’s perfectly fine.

But there’s something that almost reads inherently like there’s something unrequited about it.

Like you’re in love with someone who either doesn’t love you back or you have not confessed to this, so you’re just sort of languishing in your feelings alone, and just sort of doing this self-indulgent, “Woe is me.

But love is so great but it’s also terrible.” Because like– I don’t actually think love is painful.

[laughs] Just as a person.

[Royce] Yeah, I don’t think that there’s parody first of all in the, like, the good and the bad.

They’re often phrased that way, in these short little snippets.

I also don’t think they’re happening simultaneously.

It’s an up and down.

It’s like you said, the pain possibly coming from an unrequited sort of love or from loss.

[Courtney] Right, a breakup, a divorce, a parting of ways in some form.

Because then this one isn’t even in the book, at least not yet that I’ve read, like the well, I guess it wouldn’t be oxymoronica, would it?

“Better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.” Like, I understand the appeal of the melodrama that is wallowing in sorrow.

I understand that.

I have been there at points in my life, so.

And a lot of great art comes from that.

And a lot of– But like those are the things you say after you’ve already been hurt, you know?

And it’s so odd that people will write about love as something that will inherently also bring you pain.

And I don’t necessarily– It’s how you look at it, right?

Like, even in a loss in the event of, like, a death, let’s say you– you love someone your entire life, and then you’re grieving their death.

You’re sort of blaming the good thing on the bad thing, aren’t you?

That’s not very eloquent, but you’re like, “Oh, I hurt so much because I loved.” [Royce] Which I mean there is truth to that, if you didn’t have a connection with the person whatsoever, their passing wouldn’t have that big of an impact on you.

But I think it’s inaccurate for some of these sayings to suggest that continuously, during that relationship, pleasure and pain were both happening.

Good and bad were both happening.

It’s– I feel like it’s more of a swing between one or the other.

[Courtney] Because I can even– I– I have at times, throughout my life, conceptualized the concept of grief as love that is being sent out but cannot be received, or love that doesn’t have anywhere to go.

And at times, conceptualizing grief that way have– has brought me some amount of peace.

But that’s kind of one of the only ways that I can get behind, “Love is joy, and pain,” is if you are also concepting grief as a form of love in itself.

But for some reason – and I’m gonna say the reason is society – when I hear so many quotes like the sweetest joy and the wildest woe is love, I don’t think most people writing about love this way are thinking about that.

I think they’re thinking of either breakups or like rocky relationships.

Even if there isn’t a breakup.

[Courtney] Like, it’s the same kind of thing.

Every time we watch one of those weird allo reality shows and everyone talks about, like, how hard marriage is and how hard relationships are, and people talk about these enormous, immense struggles in their relationships and I don’t understand.

But like am I way off?

Like most people talking about pleasure and pain are probably thinking about that more in those terms than like, oh, I’ve had a long and happy relationship with this person and then it came to an end, like by a natural means, by natural causes, the relationship ended.

[Royce] That was my impression from some of the wording there.

It seemed like people were either writing from the standpoint of it being difficult to get into a relationship fully because of the fear of being hurt, or early courtship, potentially unrequited situations where you’re not confident if it’s going to go anywhere.

It seemed like there was either a lot of– the way that was phrased, there was either a lot of back and forth, like in an unhealthy relationship, or where there isn’t a lot of communication and expectations aren’t being set, you’re not actually sure if the other person is returning your feelings, and less so about a lengthy relationship and some form of loss.

Which I think is why, reading those, I don’t think they’re all that interesting or profound.

[Courtney] Yeah, I was promised profound truths.

[Royce] And you got cliches.

[Courtney] Yeah, I mean closest we’ve got so far is: “In the act of loving, you arm another person against you.” I love that that is an active choice.

I love that it conveys vulnerability and trust.

You inherently have to trust someone to do that.

Those are all very good things in relationships to have.

But I mean, because even then, even if we give every benefit of the doubt to the “Love is pain, pain is love” kind of people, then it straight gets into the like, “I don’t trust people.” Like here’s Shakespeare: “When my love swears that she is made of truth, I do believe her, though I know she lies.” Or Lord Byron saying, “Now, what I love in women is they won’t or can’t do otherwise than lie, but do it so well, the very truth seems false.” So okay, cool.

Followed by: “In love assurances are practically an announcement of their opposite.” Sounds like you all just had really toxic relationships.

My gosh.

Or: “Doubt the man who swears to his devotion.” Now, this one I might need an explanation or a translation for because I don’t speak allo, but this one doesn’t just say love, this one specifically says lovemaking, which I am to understand probably means sex.

And it says: “In lovemaking, feigning lovers succeed much better than the really devoted.” What does that mean?

Please explain the profound truth in there that I am meant to glean from that quote.

[Royce] It kind of sounds like the writer is saying that if your partner was really, really enjoying it, they’re probably faking.

[Courtney] Is this quote really trying to be profound about faking orgasms?

Is that what’s going on?

That didn’t even occur to me when I was reading it.

I was like feigning lovers, what are they feigning?

Yeah, damn it.

But it also says they succeed better, so.

[Royce] Yeah, from the perspective of the other person.

[Courtney] Hmm.

[Royce] Like the other individual is going to feel better about themselves with someone who is faking it than someone who was just devoted.

Was that the word they used?

[Courtney] Devoted.

Hm.

Yeah, carrying on.

This psychologist I can certainly agree with.

Rudolf Dreikurs wrote: “A great many people fall in love with or feel attracted to a person who offers the least possibility of a harmonious union.” I don’t even know if that’s oxymoronica.

Where is it?

[Royce] Yeah, it lacks the direct contradiction that some of the other things that you have read off has.

[Courtney] Yeah, I don’t see a contradiction at all.

I just see it being like some people fall for people who are bad for them.

[Royce] Well, well yeah, that’s what it’s saying, not profound.

[Courtney] Not profound.

Where’s my gavel?

We should be passing judgment on the profundity of these.

Um, I do kind of like this one, apparently from a 1993 book by Linda Barns: “I have no-fail chemistry.

A guy turns me on, he’s the wrong one for me.” Appreciate the self-awareness.

So then– I mean, we get into the love-hate things.

And none of these should be surprises.

We hear abridged versions of these all the time.

Like: “Heaven has no rage like love to hatred turned, nor hell a fury like a woman scorned.” But they just nailed down a whole bunch of those.

Like, “Of all the objects of hatred a woman once loved is the most hateful.” Or, “The greatest hate springs from the greatest love.” I like this one from Sir Walter Raleigh.

Or rather, I hate this one.

“Hatreds are the cinders of affection.” So not only can love turn to hate, but hate also turns to love.

[Royce] Yep.

Enemies to lovers trope.

[Courtney] I don’t like it.

[laughs] I also just feel like that’s another thing that I’m just incapable of relating to because– Well speaking of being angsty and wallowing in melancholia, I very distinctly remember, at the end of a horribly abusive relationship where lots of horrible things that I have every right to feel hatred about happened, I was writing a ton of poetry about it.

And I distinctly remember one poem I wrote that started with “I hate” every line, like that was the theme.

But it was all about hating the circumstance.

And the thing that I hated the most was that I couldn’t hate the person who did these things to me.

Like I could not bring myself to hate.

And maybe that kind of goes along with anger.

Because anger is one of those emotions that I just kind of emulate.

I think hatred is also something I just kind of emulate.

[Royce] Yeah, words are hard.

Particularly without other people giving detailed explanations of what they’re actually feeling, because I don’t tend to use the word anger.

There are situations where I get frustrated, which I think is a different thing.

And I think frustration is often – not always, but often – sort of like an underlying building of anxiety, sort of a thing driving that.

Hatred I don’t think is something that I feel.

Because if there’s a person that has done something wrong, I just don’t want to be around them.

Like I just naturally don’t think about them.

[Courtney] Which– I mean, maybe that’s getting to the heart of some of these.

Even if I can’t literally relate to hating someone I once loved, in that very visceral emotional sense, you do have to care about someone on some level in order to hate them.

Because there is a strong emotion there.

It’s not just apathy.

It’s not just, “You are nothing to me, I don’t pay you any consideration.” It’s like even if it’s a negative emotion, it’s still directed at that person, so that person matters enough to receive that ire, I suppose.

This one– [scoffs] This reminds me of all the very cynical co-workers I had back when I worked at a bridal store.

“If we judge love by the majority of its results, it rather resembles hatred than friendship.” [Courtney] So I hated it so much when I worked in a bridal shop.

I loved that job, I was good at it.

So many of my coworkers and even, like you know, management, owners were just as soon as there weren’t any customers in the store at all, they just be like, “Yeah, I mean, we know more than 50% of these people coming in just aren’t gonna make it.” I’m like, how could you be so cynical?

And they’re like, “It’s true, most marriages end in divorce.” Which I don’t even think is true anymore.

People said that for so long that everyone takes it as fact.

But I’ve absolutely looked it up and I don’t think that’s even true.

[Royce] Wasn’t the 50/50 statistic a roughly equal number of marriages and divorces happening, like the same year?

It wasn’t even– It wasn’t tracking marriages that end in divorce.

It was just: this many are happening right now.

[Courtney] Yes, I think like that.

[Royce] And I think that that number has changed over time.

But I mean that doesn’t mean that half of marriages that are starting now are going to end.

It means that a lot of older marriages are ending in divorce.

Which I don’t remember the statistics for the most common times of divorce.

I mean some bad marriages will intentionally wait until their kids are 18, until the youngest child is 18, to divorce.

[Courtney] Right.

Well, I also– Obviously, once divorce got more easy to access, there were gonna be more, but that doesn’t mean that marriages are worse than they were before.

It means there’s an easier way out of the bad marriages for more people to access that.

But this was a few years ago now, so I’m not even going to be able to find it, but I’m pretty sure I saw a headline that was like, “Are millennials killing divorce?” [chuckles] [Royce] That does sound familiar.

[Courtney] It does sound familiar.

[Royce] Yeah, I also don’t remember any statistics, but I feel like the last time we talked about this, and like looked a few things up, at least at a large scale, fewer marriages were ending in divorce than they used to.

And a lot of the reasons were fewer arranged marriages, people getting married later, people cohabitating before marriage, like having longer engagements.

[Courtney] Yeah.

[Royce] It’s just fewer people were getting married to people that they probably shouldn’t.

[Courtney] Right.

And yeah.

And I mean part of what I loved– It was actually two different bridal shops that I worked at.

I loved just talking to people during a very happy time in their life.

Like helping a bride-to-be find her dress, seeing her excitement, seeing her you know if she was with a mother or a best friend.

Seeing just so happy everyone is like in this bubble of love.

And like asking them stories, like how did you meet your fiance?

Or I always loved if I got to help, like, a woman find her dress, find the veil, accessories, get all these things together, and then she’d send her fiance in to get measured for a tux.

So then I would get to meet both of them but at totally different times.

So I get to ask both, like, tell me about your fiance?

And just seeing how excited and happy people were to talk to me about this person that they love so much.

[Courtney] I really enjoyed that because I genuinely enjoy other people’s joy.

And to be feeling that happy and joyful, as clients are leaving, only for someone I worked with to be like, “Yeah, they probably won’t make it.” I’m like, ah!

Why are you so terrible?

Like just enjoy this moment, enjoy this time and let people share their joy with you.

[Courtney] Oh, this next quote is dark: “When we want to read of the deeds that are done for love, whither do we turn?

To the murder column, for there we are rarely disappointed.” Yikes.

Ah, see– This quote probably sums up everything I was trying to get at, at the, like, “love is pain” kind of a thing.

“I love her and she loves me, and we hate each other with a wild hatred born of love.” I don’t know, man, it sounds kind of toxic.

Maybe you should break up.

So this is really interesting.

This is for everyone out there who, you know, doesn’t necessarily feel this kind of love or can’t relate to this kind of love.

I’m sure this quote will teach us all, once and for all, what love actually is.

Let’s find the profound truth within these quotes.

“Love is the same as like, except you feel sexier and more romantic.

And also more annoyed when he talks with his mouth full.

And you also resent it more when he interrupts you.

And you also respect him less when he shows any weakness.

And, furthermore, when you ask him to pick you up at the airport and he tells you he can’t do it because he’s busy.

It’s only when you love him that you hate him.” [Royce] It’s funny because all of these other ones were written as very vague statements about humanity, and this is about one guy.

[Courtney] [laughs] This is about one fucking guy who wouldn’t pick her up from the airport.

[Royce] And eats too loudly.

[Courtney] [laughs] I just [sighs] Now, I know.

Now I know what love is.

It’s the same as like, but sexier and romantic, and just a constant state of annoyance.

Apparently!

See, I don’t like this one because I don’t agree with either.

But it says: “Love is the source of every virtue in you, and of every deed which deserves punishment.” That doesn’t sound right.

Nope, I don’t think so.

That’s almost got the same vibes as, like, heavily religious – usually Christian, let’s be honest – people who are the type of people who will be like, “Oh, but you’re an atheist?

But how do you not just like murder people or steal things?” Or like, how are you a good person if you’re an atheist?

It’s like do you need the Bible to tell you not to kill people?

Is that the only reason why you’re not killing people?

It’s got the same vibes.

Like, really love, like love is the only reason why I can be a good person, but also why I do cruel things sometimes.

[Courtney] So many of these quotes also it’s like, who hurt you?

Who hurt you?

At least with the quote about the airport, like I’ve got a pretty good idea of who hurt you.

But some of these broad, sweeping ones, like this one guy has three quotes that are all like mh… Starting with: “The most virtuous woman always has something within her that is not quite chaste.” Mh-mm.

Don’t like that.

But then he also says: “Men are so made that they can resist sound argument and yet yield to a glance.” And he must be feeling horribly emasculated by whoever hurt him, because this third quote here is: “Women, when they have made a sheep of a man, always tell him that he is a lion with a will of iron.” [Courtney] Okay, I really really do like this one, though.

Charles Baudelaire: “The man who gets on best with women is the one who knows best how to get on without them.” I think there’s truth in that.

I think there’s a lot of truth in that.

“The big difference between sex for money and sex for free is that sex for money usually costs a lot less.” Boo… [Courtney] Okay, and here’s one for the male loneliness epidemic: “The physical union of the sexes only intensifies man’s sense of solitude.” That’s not what we’ve been hearing lately.

We’ve been told men need more sex because they’re also lonely.

Okay, Napoleon Bonaparte: “In love, victory goes to the man who runs away.” Some of these are just so cynical.

“Of course, it’s possible to love a human being, if you don’t know them too well.” Boo.

Or this one from Samuel Butler: “Nothing is potent against love, save impotence.” Ah yes, the good old fashioned, “Nothing can kill love, except a lack of sex.” I hate it so much.

Oh yeah, then there’s the, you know, there’s the love is pain thing.

But then there’s, like, the love is war.

That’s another thing that you hear over and over again.

“Love and war are the same thing, and stratagems and policy are as allowable in the one as in the other.” I think Napoleon would disagree, because he’s saying in love, the one who wins runs away.

I don’t– I don’t think he’d be saying the same thing about war.

So which is it?

Is love war or is it not?

[Royce] I mean he may have started saying that after having to back out of the Russian campaign.

[Courtney] He may have said that.

I guess I need to look up more about Nicolas de Chamfort, because there are two quotes here, one is great and the other is awful.

Which one do you want first?

[Royce] Let’s have the good one first.

[Courtney] “There are two things I have always loved madly: women and celibacy.” I like that quote.

I think, dare I say, it could be a mood.

For some sapphic aces out there, mayhap?

Heteroromantic ace men?

And yet, and yet it’s in a book about oxymorons.

So the author of the book read that quote and was like: “Those two things don’t go together, women and celibacy.” When I think a lot of people in our community would read that and be like, yeah, those aren’t at odds at all.

Perfectly normal thing to say.

Although I can’t give the writer of this quote too much credit, because the next quote is: “There are girls who manage to sell themselves whom no one would take as gifts.” Gross.

[Courtney] “What most men desire is a virgin who is a whore.” Yeah, I can’t disagree with the quote, I just loathe the type of men it is describing.

But we all know the type.

We all know the type.

It is just baffling how many of these are like presumably straight people who just don’t actually like the opposite gender.

Like this one: “Woman inspires us to do great things and prevents us from achieving them.” Or, “You have to be very fond of men to love them, otherwise they’re simply unbearable.” “The tragedy is not that love doesn’t last.

The tragedy is the love that lasts.” What unbearable relationship have you found yourself in that this is what you’re writing?

[Courtney] Some of these don’t actually have years.

Very few of them mention context.

And I wish more of them did have years, because obviously some of the well known names, if you know what rough period of time they’re from, that’s all well and good.

But this one is presumably from at least a slightly older time period where most people were settled down in their early 20s.

That is increasingly not the case, but I do kind of like the implication of this, like, stay single ladies.

Because this quote says: “Personally, I think, if a woman hasn’t met the right man by the time she’s 24, she may be lucky.” And I can only assume that’s from an era of time where women were expected to be married by 24.

This is another one I think I need more explanation for: “Sex is the one thing you cannot really swindle, and it is the center of the worst swindling of all; emotional swindling.” What does it mean…?

[Royce] I didn’t expect swindle to come up.

[Courtney] Swindle!

[Royce] Is the author just someone who caught feels after a casual encounter, like after a hookup?

[Courtney] Is that what emotional swindling is?

I don’t know.

[Royce] It kind of sounds like it.

I mean, if they are saying that their affections were stolen, that sounds like an unrequited sort of situation.

[Courtney] I guess.

Oh, I don’t like this one one bit.

“Sex touches the heavens only when it simultaneously touches the gutter and the mud.” [Royce] Okay.

[Courtney] Why…?

I don’t like either side of that, in the context of this quote or in any other ones.

Anytime people talk about sex being, like, divine, heavenly, next to God, uh-uh, cut it out, bad, wrong.

But I also don’t like when people talk about sex as this, like, horribly dirty, trashy thing.

Even if they’re saying that lovingly, like, “I like dirty trashy sex and it’s good.” Like I– I don’t like either, either way.

Definitely don’t put them together.

Uh-uh.

[Royce] Speaking of, I had a thought the other day that was kind of a long, retroactive, ace realization that back when it was airing on the radio, I always thought that Closer by Nine Inch Nails was overrated.

[Courtney] Yeah?

[Royce] Just a lot of people I knew liked that band and that song in particular, and I never really got it.

[Courtney] [chuckles] Now what the heck was happening the other day where that just occurred to you?

[Royce] I think it came on the radio when I was driving.

[Courtney] Oh.

[Royce] And I mean, the reason I’m bringing it up now is because speaking of sex as something that is ascendant or heavenly is in the lyrics.

[Courtney] Yeah, well, also talking about desecrating and violating.

Thanks, I hate it.

Yeah, overrated song.

I agree.

“We think about sex obsessively, except during the act, when our minds tend to wander.” Allos, please confirm.

Ooh, Dorothy Parker, who hurt you?

“Scratch a lover and find a foe.” I like that one better than all the flowery “Love is hate” ones.

I do appreciate the drama of this one: “All the sweetness of love is steeped in bitter gall and deadly venom.” And I genuinely really love this one: “One of the advantages of living alone is that you don’t have to wake up in the arms of a loved one.” [Royce] That person likes having their own bed.

[Courtney] [laughs] Exactly!

I like that that can either be someone who just really wants to be single, perhaps they’re single at heart, perhaps they’re aromantic, perhaps they’re just trying to be subversive.

Because, you know, waking up in the arms of a loved one is normally what people say is one of the best parts of cohabitating, of living with someone, of marriage.

But it could also just be someone who likes her own bed.

See, we had such a good one here and now we’re back to all the bad ones again.

There are so many more bad ones than good ones in here.

“The penalty for getting the woman you want is that you must keep her.” Or, “Sex is like money; only too much is enough.” I don’t want to know what a person who writes a quote like that considers too much sex.

I really don’t want to know.

And I think that’s going to do it for today.

So that was the sex, love, and romance quotes.

So I suppose in a future episode we will dig into the marriage, home, and family life quotes.

[Courtney] But as for today, that does bring us to our featured MarketplACE vendor: Floramisu.

There are actually two great options to support Floramisu.

You can actually commission either chibi or semi-realistic artwork, or you can check out their Redbubble store.

Floramisu is an Argentinian ace and there are a few really cute things for sale on this Redbubble shop.

I particularly love the Pride dinosaurs.

I absolutely got an ace pterodactyl, but there’s an agender dinosaur, there’s a pansexual dinosaur, a bi dinosaur.

If dinosaurs aren’t your thing, there are also lollipops, colored sand bottles, lots of different types of Pride merch here.

And even if Pride merch isn’t your thing, there are a lot of other options.

Artwork of just generally cute things, like a little loaf of bread, bunny, or even more realistic things like some of the artist’s photography.

[Courtney] And, of course, the great thing about Redbubble, as always, is whatever design you like, you can get it as a sticker, as a notebook, on a t-shirt.

Lots of different options if you find a design that you love.

And there are many great ones by this artist.

So, as always, the link to find our featured MarketplACE vendor is going to be in the description box on YouTube and the show notes on our website.

And if you’re listening somewhere that allows for comments, let us know which quote you loved the most or which one you hated the most.

Because if there’s anything we learned here today, it’s that love and hate are exactly the same thing.

Can’t wait to find out what other profound truths lie in this book next time we dig into it.

But until then, have a great week and we will talk to you all next time.