In today's episode, a story about a kid who refuses to take a bath, even if someone were to offer him a million dollars.

Let's get into it, Helloll, story time truly not a boring time, rab a standing You'll be fine.

Follow the whole storyline, Helloll story time, might you have at least one time?

Well, this is the story of a kid who had never ever taken a bath, not a regular bath, not a bubble bath, and perhaps it goes without saying, not even a bird bath.

Wesley didn't do showers either.

He wanted nothing to do with any of that stuff.

His poor parents had tried everything, but even from the time he was a wee little baby, he refused to take a bath.

He would scream and thrash his idy bitty baby legs and his teeny tiny baby arms.

All of the twisting and flailing made his parents worry they might drop him, so they always gave up.

It didn't get any easier as he grew either.

When he was a toddler, his anti bath temper tantrums were out of control.

One time, while being carried to the tub, he grabbed a hold of a towel rack and held on for dear life.

I'm not going in that tub.

I don't like tubs, and they don't like me.

The towel rack ended up being pulled right off the wall, which then fell behind the toilet and cracked a pipe.

This caused water to start spraying everywhere.

The entire room was completely soaked, as were his parents, but Wesley escaped just in time and had stayed completely dry.

His parents did everything they could to make bath time more exciting.

They even made up a little song that went, tubs are fun, tubs are cool.

It's basically just a mini swimming pool.

But Wesley didn't care for that tune, and he definitely didn't care for their attempts to lure him into the tub with fancy bath toys.

But check it out, son, This is a limited edition eighteen care gold plated rubber ducky with a ceramic beak that lights up.

How can you say no to a bath toy like that?

But Wesley had always told him he wouldn't even do it for a million dollars.

And even though his temper tantrums went away as he grew older, well now he had something else.

Excuses.

Sorry, guys, I just don't have time to take a bath right now.

I'm just so busy, you know, Wesley, You're not busy.

You're lying on the couch throwing a ball in the air.

Sometimes these people made no sense to Wesley.

Well, mom, the ball's not gonna throw itself.

I have to see if I can beat my record of eighty three consecutive catches.

Besides, haven't I told you before that I'm not really a bath guy or a shower guy.

And this kid was not the kind of person you could easily trick.

No, I'm not going to come give you a hug while you're holding a garden hose.

No, I don't want to go to the swimming pool with you today.

Pools are basically just giant bathtubs.

And don't get me started on beaches.

The beach is just nature's bathtub.

Wesley's parents eventually had to sit him down for a difficult conversation.

Wesley, you know we love you, right, but there's no bath thing.

It's gotta stop.

There's no need for it.

Good hygiene is important.

Wesley obviously didn't think so hygiene Shmi Gene.

I'll tell you what's really important.

Robots that can do backflips, Like, how can you even think about giving someone a bath at a time like this, when we still haven't figured out how to get robots to do a backflip.

Wesley's mother gave his father a subtle nod.

The thing is, Wesley, you stink.

Okay, no child wants to hear that from their parents, but it's true.

You're absolutely filthy.

Look at your skin.

You have layers upon layers of dirt.

The old dirt has started their own families.

Some of the dirt is probably expecting grandchildren.

It's just not healthy.

Wesley took a whiff of his armpit.

I mean, I suppose it smells a little bit ripe, but it's kind of got character.

Do we really want to live in a world where everyone smells the same?

And come on, it's not like I've heard anyone complain about it before.

Wesley's mother had a hard time believing that.

Wesley, your friends and classmates have all been wearing nose plugs around you since the first grade.

Why do you think your teacher has forty seven different types of air fresheners in your classroom?

Wesley shrugged.

I just thought she really liked air fresheners.

But can we not all agree that those things smell so much worse.

At least my scent is natural.

At this point, Wesley's parents were left with no other choice.

There was only one thing left to try, the thing reserved for the most desperate of parents.

Wesley.

I'm so sorry, but your father and I are going to have to call the bath police on you.

We never wanted it to come to this, but we need to get you fresh and clean instead of trembling and cowering in fear.

Wesley snorted, bath police, Yeah right, that's not a thing.

You might have been able to scare me with that when I was younger, but I'm too old to fall for that now.

But Wesley's parents weren't bluffing.

They got on the phone straight away.

Hello bath Police.

Yeah, Hi, I've got a child here that won't take a bath and he stinks.

After hanging up the phone, she turned to Wesley and said the bath police said they're on their way.

Wesley stood up and started walking to his bedroom, laughing the whole way.

Twenty minutes later, there was a loud knock at the door.

Bath police.

Oh, thank you so much for coming, said Wesley's mother as she answered the door.

We didn't know who else to call.

You call the right people.

This is what we do now, Please, how long has it been since the suspecting question has taken a bath?

Are we talking one week?

Two weeks?

A month?

Wesley's mother started to square him.

Try never, never, repeated the officer, as in never ever, as in your boy has never ever taken a bath in his entire life.

The man turned to the other two officers standing next to him, Guys, I think we might be in for our toughest case yet, but this is the kind of thing we've been training for or Wesley had been quietly watching this interaction through the small opening in his bedroom door.

At first, it looked like his parents were talking to three of the ghostbusters, but after a closer look, it was clear these people weren't here for ghosts.

Instead of proton packs, each officer wore a different kind of specialized backpack.

The guy with water written across his uniform had a clear plastic jug strapped to his back.

It connected to a spray nozzle that was holstered at his belt.

The woman standing next to him had soap printed across hers.

On her back were two separate containers, one Wesley guest held shampoo and the other soap or was one of them conditioner.

Maybe the shampoo was a two in one to save on space.

The third officer had dry printed across his chest.

Strapped to his back was what Wesley decided might be the world's largest and most powerful blow dryer.

Wesley's dad was practically drooling as he imagined using it to blast all of the fall leaves into the neighbor's yard.

All three officers wore badges shaped like rubber duckies, and even their hats had shiny yellow duck emblems.

Wesley flung his door open and sprung out into the hallway.

So they do exist.

This is gonna be so cool.

I've seen so many police chases in the movies, and I've always wondered what it might feel like to be in one of them.

I can picture it now, Sliding down firescapes, leaping across rooftops, hiding inside of dumpsters while the police look around and say, hey, what happened to the kid?

I thought he went this way?

The officers looked up at Wesley on the second floor.

Of course, a kid as filthy as him would think about hiding in a dumpster.

Wesley's parents never would have guessed their son would be excited about having the Bath police after him.

Wesley, this isn't supposed to be fun.

You're not supposed to be enjoying this.

Being chased by the police.

Bath Police is not a good thing.

You come down here this instant, Wesley decided that sliding down the drain pipe outside of his bedroom window and makeing a run for it was a much better choice.

The officers started to make their move, but then held back for a moment to give Wesley's parents some reassurance.

We just want you to know your boy will be fine.

Our water sprayers and blow dryers are always set to the lowest and most gentle settings, and our shampoo uses a special no tears formula.

We'll have your son back home before at the end of the day, smelling like a bouquet of roses.

But what about his clothes, asked Wesley's mother.

He'll be getting washed with his clothes on, ma'am, unless your boy has a habit of running around the city naked.

The officer then turned to the other two officer Soap officer dry, it's time to rub a dub dub.

The officers all put their fists together and repeated the slogan rub a dub dub.

The bath place moved quickly, and it didn't take long to start gaining on Wesley.

It also helped that they were traveling in a zippy little three person rubber ducky on wheels.

I see the boy up ahead, called out the officer who was driving.

The one sitting in the middle said, and I can smell him too, pee you.

Wesley was enjoying every minute of it.

What a thrill to be a stinky fugitive on the run.

But simply running wasn't enough.

He felt compelled to add all sorts of fancy maneuvers, Like the parked car in his path.

He easily could have run around it, but instead he climbed straight over the hood and finished with a nifty little tuck 'n' roll landing.

Hey, some kid just wiped dirt all over my car.

I just had a wash this morning.

A little further along, he slipped into someone's back yard.

He could have run under the clothes line without even ducking, yet for some reason, he grabbed a hold, swung himself around three full times, and then flung himself through the air.

Like a gymnast, but shouting coming through move out of the way while sprinting across an empty parking lot.

Well, that one made the least amount of sense the officers were gaining.

The one with the water pack unholstered his sprayer and took aim.

Just a little bit closer and I'll be able to squirt the little fellow.

Acting fast, Wesley darted in front of an older woman walking along the sidewalk.

The spray missed Wesley entirely, but completely covered the woman.

She spun around and glared at the man in the rubber duckymobile, who himself looked even more shocked than she did.

At first, she was furious, but then she caught a sight of officer soap.

Oh, is that a floral shampoo?

I love when my hair smells like roses.

And since you already ruined my curls, you may as well finish the job.

Ten minutes later, the old woman was squeaky clean.

Wesley, meanwhile, was long gone.

Ah man, he could be anywhere by now.

Officers back in the rubber duckymobile, it's time to rubb a dub dub.

Knowing he was no match for the speed of the Rubber duckymobile, Wesley had taken to the rooftops.

Some of the best chase scenes in his favorite movies happened up there, and now he was finally about to his first ever roof jump.

But as he prepared to leap to the next building, he froze, WHOA, that is a very large gap, and that is an awfully long way down.

There is no way anyone would do that in real life.

You could never stack enough fluffy pillows and marshmallows down there to make me even consider it.

He also realized it was a strange thing to attempt when no one was even chasing him up on the roof After all that build up, he simply turned around and went back inside the building.

When he was back on the street, Wesley searched for a store he could hide inside it for a little while.

He realized he'd made a huge mistake the moment he walked into the first one.

Ah, gross, what is this place?

Is this some kind of joke?

Do you people work for them?

Is this a trap?

The salespeople and customers all turned around and stared at him.

Everywhere he looked, all he could see were tubs, big tubs, little tubs, blue tubs, white tubs.

He had somehow failed to notice the sign out front that said, you people should be ashamed of yourselves for selling this stuff.

Absolutely ashamed.

Have you no sense of decency?

He bolted at the back door and into an alleyway, where he felt so much better.

The alley was dirty and grimy and had four full sized garbage dumpsters lined up in a row.

He was about to climb into one of them when he heard the screech of tires.

At the far end of the alley, he saw the rubber duckymobile.

The officers were already sprinting toward him.

Even if you tried to run the other way, he wouldn't get far.

A chain link fence blocked the exit, and he absolutely refused to climb many more fences after the time, one tore a huge hole in his pants.

Getting his ball back from the other side of the fence had not been worth half the school getting a peek at his underwear.

Stay back, don't come any closer, or I'll jump into this muddy puddle.

The bathplace stopped in their tracks as soon as they saw the puddle at the edge of Wesley's toes.

He was as wide and long as a pretty big stick and as deep as a soda can.

Come on, kid, you don't want to do this.

That puddle water isn't clean.

It looks like chocolate milk.

Wesley inch closer to prove he wasn't messing around.

Kid, Please, you have so many reasons not to get any dirtier.

It doesn't have to be like this.

You can be clean.

Let us help you from somewhere deep inside a little piece of toddler.

Wesley crept out, But I don't wantna take a bath.

The officers edged forward slowly.

Kid.

We found you here because we could literally smell you from a mile away.

Even if you escape, we'll still track you down and come on, look around.

There's nowhere left to run.

Let us help you.

We can have you smelling like roses instead of a kid who got into a fight with us.

Skunk.

He wasn't wrong, even if Wesley jumped into the puddle and made himself dirtier than what kid, This isn't like the movies.

A helicopter isn't just gonna drop you a rope and help you escape.

The off or really shouldn't have said that.

The guy totally jingxed it right on cue.

They all looked up as the sound of a helicopter thundered overhead, and just like in the movies, a rope ladder dropped down, stopping right above Wesley's head.

It seemed he was being rescued.

Sorry, guys, I'd love to stay in chat, but I've got an epic escape to make.

Wesley was already high above the city by the time he climbed off the rope ladder into the helicopter.

His heart was pounding a mile a minute.

Oh wow, that was absolutely terrifying.

My knuckles were turning white from holding the rope so tight.

How do people in the movies hang from a ladder with one hand while waving at the police detectives with a briefcase full of jewels in the other.

There's no way anyone looks cool and calm while doing that in real life.

I've never screamed so much in my life.

Three people sat inside the helicopter.

They all exchanged confused looks when they saw him.

Wait, who are you one of the masked You're not the guy we're supposed to help escape?

Our gu and smell like he's best friends with a rotten egg.

At least they were nice enough not to lower him back down into the alley.

Instead, the bad guys landed in the middle of a schoolyard and shoot him out of the helicopter.

Go learn something, kid, Maybe then you won't end up like us and think about taking a bath.

Silly bad guys, thought Wesley.

Don't they know there's no school on Saturday.

The helicopter crooks flew off, leaving Wesley alone with a new problem.

As long as he's still stunk, which he still didn't necessarily agree that he did, the bath place would always be able to track him down.

But that little mix up in the helicopter gave him an idea.

If those crooks mistook him for someone else, maybe he could fool the bath police too.

What if the kid they were after suddenly didn't look or smell anything like what they expected.

What if he disguised himself as a kid who didn't give off the impression that he might be hiding moldy cheese in his bed.

Wesley knew exactly what to do.

He ran to the school and slipped inside through an open window.

He could have then gone straight to the costume room, behind the stage in the auditorium, where he'd be able to find any costume you could think of.

He could dress up as a donkey with a pink tutu or a guy from the eighteen hundreds with an old timey mustache, but that wasn't the kind of disguise he was thinking about.

Wesley needed something that would truly fool the Bath police, something no ordinary costume could provide, something you could only find in the janitor's closet.

As he opened the door, he saw everything he needed.

A mop and bucket, some rags, and a scrub brush.

Wesley worked on his disguise for close to an hour.

He was taking it very seriously.

After all, there was a lot at stake here.

When he finished, he decided to put his disguise to the test.

After a quick search, made easy by the quacking sound of the rubber duckiumobile, he found them.

The three Bath police were standing on the sidewalk sniffing the air.

Wesley walked right past them and they didn't say anything.

Perfect He then turned around and walked past them again.

This time Officer Soap clearly looked at him and still didn't say anything.

The third time around, He even tried speaking to them.

Beautiful day today, isn't it?

Bath Police say?

Can I help you guys find someone?

Not sure who you're looking for, but if it's a guy named Wesley, then that's not me.

My name is Frizzly, a guy who smells like school soap and has really clean skin.

Now these officers may have been easy to fool the first two times, but this was like begging to be caught.

Oh Wesley, that is you.

We didn't smell you coming, nor did we recognize you.

You look so clean, and you smell so fresh.

Maybe not as fresh as our two and one row scented shampoo and conditioner, but still pretty decent.

Wesley was looking sly not bad, eh, Bath Police.

After a chase like the one we've had ye today, I bet you I've been your toughest case yet, am I right?

The officers looked at each other before answering, well, this has definitely been our weirdest case.

We spent all day chasing you to get clean, and you just went ahead and did it yourself.

Wesley was trying to figure something out.

So does this mean I win?

You're not going to try and spray me with the tub water.

Officer Water shrugged, well, I guess we don't have to.

Now, looks like you're free to go home.

The officers looked like they could use a bath too, had they gone and jumped in that muddy puddle.

After Wesley had flown away in the helicopter, Officer Soap had one last question, So Wesley, why did you do it?

Why did you take a bath?

In the end, Wesley laughed, I didn't take a bath.

I'll never take a bath.

Cold water feels weird on my skin.

I don't know how you people do it.

I used a scrubrush and a bucket of water from the janitor's closet, which I stuck in the microwave to make it warm.

The officer was almost afraid to ask, Wesley, are you telling me this?

Whole time you thought everyone has been taking cold baths?

You do realize you don't have to microwave water?

Right?

Literally every single tap has a hot and cold Wesley had to think about that.

Huh, isn't that interesting?

A warm bath sounds kind of nice, actually, especially with extra bubbles, maybe the perfect thing after a long day of playing chase officers.

I think I might go home and try my first official bath, A warm bath.

Rub a dub dub am, I right, rub a dub dub, answered the officers with a smile.

They were just happy to know that he was going home to have a bath because they were almost certain the brush he had used to wash his skin was the toilet brush.

The end.

That's the story, and here is your question of the week.

What is something you try to avoid doing even though it might be something good for you.

Thanks to Wesley for letting me use his name in today's story, and shout out to the following listeners.

Oscar Willis from England, Nathan Mackenzie and Rupert from Vermont, Xavier, Eli and Brooke from Altona, Australia, Lucas and Patrick from Sydney, Australia, Holly and Jack from England, Summer and Ruby from Wanaka, New Zealand, Anna and Lydia Spadero along with their dog Boomer and their rabbit Honey Bunny from Tennessee, Porter, Jude and Milo from Vancouver Island, and Daniel and Joe from Surrey.

Thanks so much for listening and I'll catch you on the next one.