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Let's get into the episode Let's pod.

Put on your pod shoes and dance the Blues.

Let's pod.

Thanks for coming back.

Don't.

Be silly.

Thank you for having me back you.

Need a feminine touch around these places.

This was just so masculine.

Toxic.

They're saying it's too alpha, yeah.

So in this place, it's just crazy awesome charts.

We're too so.

Now I think I'm pregnant again.

Yeah, so.

You are sat on a very stained place.

Imagine that you sat on a stained pillow.

Loads of open spots of Saturn.

And just got open spot pregnant.

Oh my God, pregnancy is the worst.

But that's what oh God, I used to think that when I could do you ever chuckle fuck when you started out during stand up?

Like, did you ever, you know, do like another one of the open spots?

Like, you know, when you're an open mind?

Girl and you're just like chuckle, Yeah, chuckle fuck, that's what.

Yeah, I just realised what that is now.

Yeah, 'cause when I started off there was no girls.

Yeah, yeah, of course.

I see.

I absolutely did.

And I remember even at the time being like, if I have an accident and, and even at the time when you yourself were an open mic, I remember being like, if I have an accident, I get pregnant.

Like fucking this.

Like that's mortifying.

Imagine that.

Imagine.

Imagine the father of your child.

Yeah, yeah.

Go.

All right, love.

Just off to do GOG show.

Yeah, imagine, because none of us know someone like that.

Just gonna go off and perform for.

Pints at Shenanigans.

Bye babe, look after the baby.

I had a old rendezvous with a lady who had two sons older than me at the time.

Oh God they were both 6 foot plus.

And imagine if she introduces me as that new stepped up.

Just some 24 year old open spot get to bed.

I think she was fifth, the 50s, like fourties.

Yes, King.

Oh listen, comedy has no age.

I mean, you still have legal age, but did you?

Did you did you get on with the cause of the comedy?

Is that no?

She was.

We just got, we just got pissed.

She was mad, mad mad as a box of frogs.

I think.

Yes, we kissed in the range, right?

You're fucking me or what?

I went OK, Yeah.

And I knew you said you say yes, I fucking welfare.

If that's OK with you.

Should we write together?

Afterwards, after, after the nice of sex like the singer.

Should we write babe or what?

You joke I remember shagging an open spot not see an open mic when I was also like oh sorry he was starting to be paid this is out of America and on his wall was all the posters of all his jokes so he'd like done the full.

Like Megan?

Oh no.

So I did Shaq to like a room full of jokes and him being like, what do you think about it?

Like that one?

And it was it.

I was like.

Yes, hey, what do you think about this new bit after the?

Show.

Oh God.

Could you say this on you?

Because you're thinking in here, man.

She's got a new bit about a shit of shag, do you?

Know what happens do you know what happens to you guys?

Like if a new if a new comic, you want to be nice and supportive obviously, but like if they come to you and say can what do you think of this or try this on you and then the proceed to do their 5 minutes set to you.

Do you do you?

Do you pretend to laugh or do?

You just say.

Sorry, signals go signal IRL I think.

Yeah, I still think it works.

Yeah.

I just have added it.

I know I I pretend to laugh because I just, I can't.

You can't, you have to.

No, you have you have to put a dog down, babe, you just say.

You have on stage, do on stage.

That's better.

That's all I said, kinda.

Best way to do it on stage, The only one regret is the one who has said do the Chinese eyes and he did it and he got in trouble.

But you know, definitely.

Don't regret that.

Fucking don't apologise.

I had someone show me their video.

Oh, first of all, I had to watch it all.

I had I opened spot once be like would you mind that was it.

They were going up.

They're like I want Would you mind untaping my set?

I was like, what?

And I, they were like just making sure and they didn't have a tripod or anything.

They just wanted me to hold the phone and hold it.

And I was like, are you out of your fucking mind?

Like, no, yes, I mind.

This is absurd.

But also I was new enough.

I was like, no, that's fine.

And no, now I would I would put their phone in the bin.

I.

Have to stand there like that for.

Everything else to be filmed just get good.

Right.

Yeah.

Have you been?

Really great.

Thank you for I'm really great.

I'm a mummy.

Do you know Tony?

Actually, it's really funny being on this with you to talk about because obviously Danny, I don't know if you know this.

When I told Jamie I was pregnant, he missed it like he didn't understand.

So he just so we were outside, so Lauren had just got Winnie and she was having a bit of a like, Oh my God, about yeah, about how much it was having a puppy and and I'd and I knew that and I'd said to Jamie, we'd done a show, whatever.

And I we're outside here and I was like, we just us too.

And I was like, hey, tell Lauren I've got you know, if she wants to hang with another new mummy anytime.

Just just let let her know.

And he went, Oh yeah, sound fist bombing.

I was like, I was like, so I wrote a voice note, Lauren.

I was like, hey, I told Jamie I was pregnant and I'm pretty sure he missed it.

I just got a voice note from her later with him just laughing in the back and I go.

Oh that's why I think that is pregnant with a dog or summer there's some Benz that pick it up.

It was so low.

I was like, yeah, no, no, no, clearly that's.

It no you told me the car journey.

No, we were, well, we're in that pub in Cardiff, we're in in Wales.

I had the ultrasound by the time I told you and John, so I slid him across the picture.

That was such a Susan Boyle of a gig, wasn't it?

We got there and we were like, this is gonna be an absolute fucking nightmare and we all had such a banger in.

Yeah.

I think a lot of people found out by lots of open spot insole boys crying their eyes out that the shops closed because.

It was so tempestuously open before you.

Spoke about it like Woolworths and Preston's has shut down.

Hey, it doesn't mean I love is making young male comedians cry.

So it's no, it's been great.

I really I really like.

I just had a fucking.

Do you remember that journey home from?

I'm so sorry about that journey home because it was Skelons van Tony.

And then I asked was like, you can have a lift back, but like, I was, I was taking up a bit of room because I was, you know, pregnant and like sitting and I, you guys must have been so squashed.

Oh.

We had fun.

He's got fun with.

Beefing and many van journeys together.

Yeah, and that is so.

This one was Cardiff like 4 from.

Cardiff to.

Liverpool, that was a lot it.

Was where we stopped off, where we stopped off for him because.

We we at McDonald's in like, where the fuck were we?

Nowhere.

Nowhere.

And he got mobbed.

He got absolutely mobbed.

I was like get off me.

Oh, you wouldn't McDonald's.

That's probably the stuff.

The mythical that Carol.

Wasn't it wasn't it wasn't it wasn't.

I won't hear.

It was a really fancy McDonald's.

Really, really fancy McDonald's.

Really chic McDonald's.

It was like a five dozen screaming girls screaming.

Just sign the text.

Yeah.

I had to be security.

I was like, he already has.

That was such.

That was funny.

Dry as she was.

I was having a funny job with John Skeleton.

I was having a week of it this week.

Like I love her so much.

I'm so grateful.

I love being a mummy.

It's just been a fucking week of it.

And and and I Skeleton message me.

I say he's like, are you OK?

I was like, I think she's on cocaine.

I actually think she's on cocaine.

She won't.

She's a skull.

Favorite.

He's like, she's a Scouse and I was like fuck my tired Scouse baby.

She's going to have you up the wall.

She's a Scouse, says she's going to have you up the wall.

Yeah, I know Scouse female as well like and I like listen.

You're best friends with the Scouse.

And best friends with two Scouse like like and I I've said it before I truly believe on the 8th day God made Scouse women but I can only imagine Scouse teenagers females teenagers is like a fucking time.

What would she like as a teenager though?

Do you know what?

Like quite, I think quite good insofar as like, I didn't do anything fucking ridiculous.

I was obviously a ginger.

So I had that other temple.

Me.

What's your Oh, I don't mean to.

I was at the real academic.

School, I would say I was that very.

So you can't, you don't really say.

I drink in parks in a.

Huh.

Did.

You drink in parks and stuff like that.

Yeah, we did a bit, but like basically telling my.

Parents were National Trust parks.

Yeah, sure, sure, sure.

This, this.

And also like this size of my friend's gardens were like parks, you know what I mean?

Like.

Like by the Swans, Jeffrey, could you get us the library please?

If you think about like private school girls, half the time you're having house parties 'cause their parents like away for the weekend, you know what I mean?

So it was more of that kind of stuff where you just like trashing people's nice house.

It's safe, I think very much.

Yeah, actually, like, Oh, my dad's been nicked so yeah it.

Was also like the parents were at the timeshare this weekend so everyone come home yeah it.

Was massive packet, yeah, teenage drinking like in the parks massive when I was going like it was every park was full.

Just just people.

Just.

Just Bevan and parks.

Just.

I used to look, I used to look at pubs and all that.

I can't wait.

One day, how we to be, How we to be in scout to rain and drink.

Drinking.

Imagine drinking and shelter, man, do you?

Remember the IDs though?

I remember like how the ID that we all had from 16, was it European driver's licence?

Yeah, yeah.

Was.

Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, like obviously all these bouncers knew.

Yeah, I think, yeah, they're all.

Some of them are fun.

Yeah, we live.

Back now and you're like on my.

18th birthday, it was on maybe like a Thursday night going into Friday or Friday going into Saturday, whatever.

And I queued up maybe a little passport.

It's like half 10 going into a nightclub.

And he went, says it says a year.

I went and I went, yeah, my birthday.

Sorry.

He went.

Oh, come back tomorrow, lad.

Jamie, I'm so sorry.

Oh, come on.

I'm so sorry.

For all Jamie, I know, but there's a lot.

Then I have to walk, give me little clicky shoes.

Did you have a school shoes?

Little.

School shoes on.

I had 'cause I thought, oh, you gotta go out and like it.

I'm going.

Smart your business casual shoes.

I was in the yeah, I was in me a going out.

Shirts in the same.

Job with the going out shirts.

That leave, isn't it like those of us who are our age, we went out university in business casual like that was why were we in that?

I don't even just shake us and say just stop it.

I wore a blazer like I'd wear a blazer.

I'd like that.

Why I didn't just clap me and say some bone chain I.

Dress I dress Tigers go into a job interview for Tiger Tiger.

I dress like the slut of Foxtons.

Like I just, I don't.

Know what you stand picture I used to have like pants and shoes.

Shit.

All miles off.

So.

Funny like a big fat sneaker player.

Stephen Lee, Stephen.

But.

Why did we?

Why was that?

I remember hearing that all like people see people say like you, I think from our mums and dads generation, they used to have to wear like smart to go out and I think then then talking about their nights out to us as in our mind thinking oh, but they.

Did it like look at look at our, our folks.

So our folks were going out and what like the 70s and that like they were, they was the fucking 70s.

So it was whatever the fuck they like.

Did you go on that order?

Amen.

Say, yeah, so it's an 80s, but they was going to places like cherries.

Enjoy me.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Going down chicken bits tonight.

Yeah.

My daddy's got on a velvet jacket.

He's miles off it.

Velvet jacket you.

Know it's time when you are.

My mum was just.

How did he pull your mum?

Well, I think she just fell into his bedroom.

She fell into his bedroom.

Yeah.

He didn't open spots and.

How much barriers to enter back then or opening?

No, listen, some of us went through that and I.

Think.

I've never told you the story of like an older, obviously not together anymore.

They went on the first date and there was dancing to locomotion.

Come on, baby.

Yeah, she.

Was at 88.

Eight now and you're like it's.

Fun.

If it wasn't that tune, it was just like a train.

They were just standing by a train.

Downside Piccadilly.

So you know, like Locomotion, it's got all hand movements and what does the actual dance to it?

Yeah, the DJ stopped that because my dad's miles off it and the DJ lowered the rent.

What are you doing mate?

Waiting for the bus.

I do want words.

Oh, I want kids to like.

Him.

She sounds like me.

I always, I love that.

I always want the one who I've got to like, save and rescue.

That I think someone seems a bit like me as well.

Yeah.

I'm just a division that needs saving from the I need sheltering from the cold, cold cynic world.

Won't hear it.

Won't hear things.

How?

Did your parents meet?

They were university together and it was first year and my dad had a rugby injury and had ice on his face and so was like less than his best and he and my mum had been mates and and apparently he slid over to her.

I was like making his, making his sick move on her.

Finally, after a few months being pals and she turned around and she went no, I don't want to.

I don't want to.

Previous night because I'm going to marry you and I don't think you're ready.

So she turned her down because she said I'm going to marry you and you're not ready yet.

So go off and do your thing, because I'm going to marry you, but it's too soon.

Oh God.

Oh my God, Andy got married.

OK, what an absolute second.

Can you imagine a 19 year old girl saying that to you?

That's amazing.

She.

Don't sort your shit out.

And then she.

Basically would go fuck it out because I'm going to marry you.

So yeah.

So yeah.

Oh, that's so it's.

Mental, yeah.

Oh my God.

I know.

So it's.

Kind of weird.

Oh, the.

Prestons are sorry, but I I and it's like when she retells the story, you're like, that's that's really lovely and that's really funny.

Now play out that they didn't end up together.

Like she's a fucking psycho, like she's a psycho fresh.

What if she said she's psychotic?

That.

Could have been like the 5th flat, she told.

Tell ya she was.

She was.

She was.

Gone you.

Can't say that's impressionable teenagers.

I can't.

It won't work, Michelle.

It can.

Yeah, very nice.

Psycho.

Yeah.

So no, there they are.

I think my mum and dad met in a in a club actually Garlands I think nightclub.

No garlands.

Yeah, Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Just that they didn't work out like, but you know, some things don't work out mate.

No, but no.

We're all strong and better for it, right guys?

Yeah, right, guys.

Right, right.

We turned.

All right.

Right.

We turned out so fine, yeah.

We don't need hope, we don't need external holidays.

I saw mean the other day there was like, it was like there's some kid doing a show in the living room.

Like if you did shows in your living room, you're now mentally unwell.

I was like, yeah, 100%.

Like, did we all do shows in the living room?

Yeah, yeah.

I was really dark.

I used to like store.

I used to like stories when my dad killed Native American women.

Pops in the earth.

Specifically Native American women.

Yeah, I had a.

Picture of a Native American.

I had a Native American ornament in my bedroom.

Oh.

Fine, I used to come alive at night and stand over and try and kidnap me because I fork.

That was a book.

What was it?

We had when we were little, there was a book about the the Indian boy who who's the toy came to life at night time, I'm sure.

Yeah, I bet you read that book.

I bet there was.

Like boy, I was an ornament of a Native American and she had a baby in her arms and I've in my head I thought this baby is clearly dead and she's wanting to take me back to a fucking teepee.

Do you know?

What I mean she she picked someone better than you.

No, because I'm impressionable, yeah.

Yeah.

But was he I?

Don't think she's gonna be in a house in the middle of Manchester and and Gordon.

Well, where else might she be, Tony?

Well, where else might she be?

Why not?

Well, why isn't she in the little house in West Derby to get me?

No, you're right.

I'm so sorry.

I'm so sorry she didn't pick you.

It's.

Only a two man Tony.

There's only a two man ton.

She's got you bring you back to the tribe to dance you around like a sacrificial pig.

I'm saying Tony's name now because you would have big spit roast apple in your mouth all dancing like, oh the big white man save us.

She would have been lucky to have you, lucky to have you.

You've.

Your grandmother Willow should have been lucky to have you.

Me dad used to fix television.

I had a toolbox yeah and written this story that he had a secret compartment in his toolbox with loads of weapons and that he kills people who wronged him and that like someone goes he used to fix televisions.

Yeah, and then like what if a customer goes a Channel 5 still fuzzy, you got to gone out and pops him in the head.

Fucking yeah, just.

For not just for not doing his.

Job.

Yeah.

So you should what?

Was your dad's job.

Where do you think you got confused?

He was ATV engineer.

Everybody reckon that's because his dad's job was so sad that he decided to.

Make Well, he thought it was going to be a booming market.

He had three.

Yeah, there was three of them.

He used to go out together in school.

Yeah.

One went out to be a doctor, one went out to be a pilot.

And we had them do fixing tellers and making light bulbs.

Yes, amazing.

Sorry I haven't.

Never did.

That Yeah, you listen.

No.

But you know, it's a job for life is intention.

Telling Timeless like being prostitute.

Well, timeless.

Well, they got made redundant, so and then that's.

OK.

You got turned down to be a lot of you.

Gotta smell the jacket, kids stay a week.

There are those jobs where when you get turned down, it's, it's it's so awful.

Like I remember coming up like a really nice acting gig and I had there was some, there was some time free and I had to obviously earn money and make rent.

And I I applied to be a wait.

A waiter like a suit, like a sub junior waiter at Coat Brasserie.

Like famous for treating their staff appallingly and not giving them tips and whatever and didn't get it.

And you know, you're like.

What I can't even get into that I.

Can't even become a junior waiter of someone who effectively like volunteers.

Like a volunteer waiter?

Yeah.

Yeah, it.

Was a really don't even get that was gonna be here for the absolute lols and selling like Poole Fritz to idiots.

They're just flooded, aren't they?

It's like every job's got like under applicants more than it.

Needs, yeah.

Yeah, that's the problem, isn't it?

Thank God we're just at the top of the fucking pyramid at last, you know what I mean?

Like we don't even.

Have to on our.

Ivory towers.

Mountain tops.

I don't think I don't.

We have, we discussed this before.

I don't think you go back to normal work ever again like it's, I think that decision's been made, no.

Well, I don't know, babe.

I have to like I'm in March.

If I don't come up with something real good real quick, I've got to go back to my receptionist job, which it's it's one thing women going back to work when it's their career, which I am because I'm doing the stand up.

But money wise I have to go back to this receptionist job really, unless I fucking.

Unless yeah, pops off.

Yeah, I.

Figure the kids just got to start like growing her hair and we sell it.

Do you know what I mean?

Because I'm mine.

I can't.

Obviously it's my, you know, my personality, it's mine.

But I figured if we just grow hers, it's really nice.

Are you going to bring the pod back bit much?

With Miss Ki would so love to.

It's just, it's now it's not only the finances, it's like a scheduling thing.

And when would you know?

It's one of those where I would one day.

I'd so, so, so love to.

But it's just at the moment, the two of us in the same place at the same time with the money, it's just, yeah.

And the money is setting up now some of these producers, what they charge fucking you.

Saw what I had to do this morning.

These producers, it's like how you're lucky to be here.

That's that's the advice.

You should be waiting for the fridge.

You should be happy.

We're talking to you.

Can you imagine we're talking to you?

That's that's the advice I'd give your offspring if you ever want me to give some advice.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Which I do, which I do.

Man to baby get into the producing game, Yeah.

Farming.

You guys get run rings around?

But like, know your place, you know what I mean?

I'd tell her that, I'd say, but know your place.

Like stay in the dark and don't talk, Danny.

I'm talking, yeah.

Get get her in the production game, man, you know we're.

The ones who who performing the art, it's like we're just highlighting.

It's like we're the talent generally, like we're, we're the artists.

I don't know how you.

Don't know that I'm sorry it's your emotional wounds on show cause my I'm so sorry.

Through my life, yeah.

I'm so sorry right exactly for the arts for the arts.

I'm sorry you haven't monetized vulnerability, Danny.

Not my problem.

Hey, head of capitalism.

OK, bye.

Do I love so Pickles that my child is is she's obviously the she's been back at comedy since she was 3 weeks old.

She went on stage at 3 weeks old.

She's out like we're on the road to Thomas Green at the moment and I keep when I'm and we've done like a but we we're all she's she's been great.

But we I was trying to do like the routine.

I was like, because we had a week at home and I was like, right, do the bedtime, the bathroom and the Reed and blah, blah, blah.

And it's been a fucking disaster, like an absolute.

And I suddenly realised the other night and then last night was at Creatures and she was with love of her life, Cameron Jones, who was looking after her in the green room.

And I, she slept like a dream.

And I was like, Oh my God, her routine is shows her routine what she thinks is is being ingredients and shows like it's gone completely the other fucking way.

She get it home now.

So she's like why the fuck?

What is this?

What is this calm reading?

Yeah, where's the lols?

Yeah.

Where, where?

Where are the lols?

Yeah, and you.

It's so funny.

Is everywhere.

Where's the stag do?

But then we saw like the like the ghost, or should I say like the Queen of Christmas future because we were in Glasgow a couple weeks ago on tour with Thomas and stayed with Finn.

Do you know JoJo Sutherland's daughter who is the same as like Jojo's daughter?

So she was in green rooms the whole time.

She now works in comedy.

And we stayed with her and it was so funny seeing her.

And she just thinks comedians are fucking idiots.

Like, she's, I mean, the greatest guy in the world.

But she just, she's so over it.

She's grown up in it.

I mean, she was saying she's like, I did my homework with Jimmy Carr, like she was, she's so just.

So, yeah, yeah.

She's so idiots.

You're not impressive, of course.

That's a good thing to be.

We are not impressive people.

We are don't.

Tell Danny that.

We are not impressive people.

We are fat liars.

I am tickets for me tour, I'm saying.

Oh my God.

Hot water content for when we're.

On tour, except for when we're on tour.

How is the extension?

Isn't it?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

So great.

It's done well, Miss.

Yeah, it's done well of.

Course it has.

Yeah, yeah, Call back on their own next week.

Looking forward to it.

Busy November, busy December and then January.

Be quiet and of February but finish your February and then I'm done.

Then you must never.

Gig in January passes me the baton and I start Yeah and.

When do you go to?

Ferry Smith start at Leicester Square.

Yeah, nice.

I'm sure we started with Thomas, yeah.

It was a good time, baby.

Yeah.

Looking forward to playing London, London, London.

What is she?

What is she, London?

Yeah, I've never played there, so Papa Michetti in London do.

You know what I would say?

How do you find playing that?

I mean, we were there together a few weeks ago.

Yeah, that was, I mean, now it's fine.

I mean, I I've kind of had a London sound.

It's London.

It was more places like, you know, satellite towns outside of it, maybe a bit more because London, London, it's sort of, it's sort of tracks like pretty cool people and stuff.

So.

Do you just find it's just quieter?

Ohh yeah, the boring.

Yeah, I and I kind of, it's taken me being out of it for quite a while, like.

There's laughing, yeah, because you don't wanna like.

I think they're just two fucking other an artist.

I really think that there's a sort.

Of.

Dance, monkey dance aspect to it where they're like, yeah, I.

They're all they're enjoying it, they're smiley, but they're not laughing.

It's like they don't wanna give you that.

They don't wanna give you that.

It's so.

The way I will demand it.

Yeah, February 4th.

I I hate, I mean, I like that night that we were down in that show 'cause that was a laugh that.

Was nice that.

Was fun but I hate I just don't like doing it anymore.

It's just kind of joyless.

Yeah, yeah, they they can.

Play it once, haven't I?

Well, babe, you're gonna have a great time because it's like your crowd.

Audience but mean more like a club night when you.

When you have a club night in London, I mean, same with Thomas Green.

Like I had a word of time because Thomas has great, really great fans.

But yeah, the club nights you're like, fuck, this is nowhere near as fun as it is up here.

And to be fair, most of the people they've asked me to play down there are Scousers that are working down there.

Yeah.

So it's gonna be.

Like I watched Jack Dee last night.

I was, I was good.

Obvious crowd, man, they're just beautiful.

Are they?

Oh, they're just chill, watch it, laugh, fuck off.

So like, I love my crowd.

Obviously I don't want to bite down that speed, but they are and.

What you say, boy?

They are did.

I tell you what.

So when Jamie and I did this gig, it was Freddy's gig, the belly laughs one in Saint Paul's.

And Freddy, who obviously has no feelings, has no heart, had called me before and been like, listen, Jamies headlining, which means it's Jamies crowd, which means it is no place for a baby that was like, see, you do love us and and he he he literally be like, you can't you can't take the I will have to take the baby, but.

You were great.

That was nice Gig got.

It, it was a really nice gig.

Fuck, you killed man.

Without coming on here and, like, kissing your ass.

You fucking killed.

He did the thing that I am.

I'm never not in awe of where?

So we had two gigs back-to-back six and eight, and he had to.

You did 25 on each?

Yeah, both completely different 25.

Like both.

Gigs like Daddy?

'S got gears, Daddy has got gears.

Roofed like roofed it and you go fuck like here's me like peddling same old shit trying to make it not look tired and was fantastic and I was like shitting Nora.

It was so.

Good, he was fantastic that put yourself.

Always fantastic.

I'll be gigged together as well and Crosby there.

You go, yeah, that was so nice.

That was nice.

With the better.

That was nice.

Yeah, always kill.

Hattie is the killer.

No she doesn't.

She doesn't is the thing I feel like sometimes my brain isn't.

Working break is coming soon.

We can feel us.

Ohh my.

Break.

Well, like from comedy.

Exactly.

Love it.

And my rich, My rich boyfriends gonna turn.

You're big.

You're big.

Yes, you are going to get your flowers you deserve that's.

Very nice.

I I, I feel very lucky at the moment.

I've got baby.

I feel like deserve, which I feel very lucky about.

And if I'm just focusing on being a mummy for a while, then that's a OK, but Oh my goodness.

Speaking of, I am actually, this wasn't like a Segway.

I am actually I'm doing a really brave thing.

Yeah, which is the so the little show I had before I had the baby.

No.

Oh yes, I'm doing the big phase, which is great.

Just my show.

And that's like a compilation shows for comedians and me.

But my little you know the show I called a Tourette because I only took it to seven places an hour and take seven places.

Basically, they're all the size of people's living rooms.

Like they were like, which venues are you doing?

Like you won't have had of.

Them.

Oh, you know, it's like really off the beach.

So you got different.

It's booting tall.

And that's why I call.

It shed in Camden, it's just so quick.

Have you heard of it?

It's.

All the shed it was so.

I know it's just an address.

No, it's just an address.

I called it the Tourette because it wasn't, it was like 7 venues and but I taped it and I don't want to call it a special because I don't think it's special.

I think it's just special to me because it's would you tell me?

I just think it's my first.

It's like my first seven years of comedy, like boxed off that's done.

I'm really proud of it.

I really love it.

It's the show about, you know, coming to having a baby by myself and all the IBF stuff and, and I, I love it so much.

So I'm going to release.

I decided I was like, I really, I I'm gonna release it as like a taping.

I'm not calling a special.

I call it the taping.

And and yeah, I'm don't.

Feel path I can't what you want.

No, I don't want to call.

And the boys were saying this.

I was like, but I don't think anything you've written in the first seven years of comedy is special.

I think that's not.

I think we're very.

We're, we're, we're very.

It depends how good you are.

I know, but so but but like Once Upon a time, people's specials were like fucking Oh my God this guy's got their first special like it was.

Such a big thing because people didn't.

He went when he arrived.

For now, you know everybody.

Gives the death of DVDs man.

That's why I if I can sort, anyone can.

That's why I won't put a special out.

Why is it?

Because I'm too resentful that I've got 100 grand if this was DVD times.

I know you're right.

Is it not just because you can't look at how to make a YouTube account?

No, it's because he's too lazy to write the series.

I think that would tick.

So I got locked out of ticks.

I can't give up.

Shit.

So plus I want to do a thing where because there's so much now online and available, I just wanna build a thing of.

But you gotta see him live, you know?

And it's like.

Kits in it.

It's not a bad chat.

I thought that that was like.

'Cause I have an online presence anyway.

You bet you did.

Babe, you got a a worldly presence.

You get you putting your stuff out.

Are you through the pot?

Like, yeah, but then.

But if you wanna see me live, live.

I love to see that's.

I think that's really fucking smart.

But I also think part of mine comes from a bit of fear, which is obviously there's no secret with the kind of comments female comedians get.

And part of me was like, I don't care most days.

But with a show about me deciding to do YVF by myself and become a mummy by myself, I actually don't give a fuck what Roy from Huddersfield thinks.

I don't wanna hear.

It 'cause no one would shag her, I imagine, although if she asks me nicely, I'd give her a go.

That Patty rest and I'll.

Give her a go all night.

She needs a bit of live Lord of the Seal should like me and me to that.

Fuck off, Roy the computer and.

He's like, I don't want to hear it.

Well, apart from from you because he's glorious.

I forgot what's happening on tour with you and was That's beautiful.

Oh yeah, I can't wait for the tour Diaries of that.

That's going to be Have you fought?

I was thinking if I was an IVF baby.

Oh yeah, because I had to favorite IVF babies.

Go.

On him obviously don't oh, you don't take offence and it's not, it's not.

It's.

It's not her fault, it's not her fault, but I think all IVF babies grow up to be undesirable people to bathe in a pub.

Perfect start.

Up start up pub.

Because they're two loved.

Because you.

Because.

I was an.

Accident.

I've turned out all right because my mum and dad secretly resent me.

School of And that means I'll get around in the pub, but because everyone all.

Have your babies are loved.

Yeah, I'm.

So loved and wanted and I've strained to have you.

Yeah, she won't fucking work for.

She won't work for approval.

But if I ask your kids when she's 18 to get me some quavers, yeah, In the round that we're we're in for some reason, yeah.

Yeah, 'cause you.

Were I used to gig with your mother?

Don't.

You get some fucking taping about Ivy fucking doll I used to gig.

With your mother.

Don't get your Uncle Jamie some quavers.

I think that's probably fair.

I'm so conscious of my my mate, who's also she's pregnant right now and she's same as it's taking a long time to get pregnant.

She was like wait for my fucking spoiled cunt.

I don't know.

I don't know.

I I'm I'm very aware of that.

Her not I think it's.

Just a few.

You brought up those.

No, that's what I mean though, 'cause yeah, he was straining to have a baby and went to IVF, went to our IVF.

Babies turn up with this unfair expectation of them and they can't handle fairly.

People wanting them so much.

You're so right.

I'm going to what I went.

Into that I was just spunked up and left.

Yeah.

When was you spunked up?

Spunked up Spunked up your man.

Oh yeah, for that.

Sorry.

I was just like.

Fucking it wasn't you, that was it, Yeah, your mum was spunked up.

Yeah, I mean, well, we had one.

Fucking hell, do I mean because I was just a bad shag baby?

Yeah, a BSBI.

Was an NSB, she's a no shag baby.

So that was a bum baby.

Yeah, yeah.

I'm not a bum baby.

Yeah, you're dribbly a lot.

I think so, yeah.

I don't know.

You're really like good bone structure.

I don't.

Know bum baby, he calls me.

Nah.

Because he came in the bum and then he dribbled down.

Yeah, that's one of the worst things of far.

I was a pull out.

I was literally a pull out but.

I think.

I'm so brand the other way round, which is if he's a bum baby, imagine how a fucking what a fucking go getter that sperm was that it made it all the way through.

That's true all the way through.

Like that's the scenic root lads, if ever I heard one.

Yeah, it's from the arse into.

Into.

The utero, that's some go getter spam.

Tones I was.

Just starving for something.

That's like the Bear Grill.

That's the.

Bear grills.

The sperm I'm the bear grills.

Like Rocky?

Uninterited egg because even your sperm is the big fat eggy.

Though my sperm had to come.

It's like clambering over the mountains.

Like yeah, my sperm had to look at all my fucking brothers and sisters be wiped on a curtain.

No, that's what he gave dramatized.

See my brothers and sisters there getting the egg.

And grew out with a dead Indian baby.

Can you find out?

If you could, could you find out who the sperm belonged to?

Yeah, I know.

I don't know like his name or like where he lived or any that.

Doctor.

I'm sure I can find out, but I yeah, you get given like a catalog.

It's like the Argos of dreams.

Meet the person, Would you meet them?

It's not really up to me.

So the baby, it's all the legalities of the baby.

She can apply for his when she's 16, she can apply for information about him when she's 18, she can apply for his last known contact details.

So it's all on her.

But if you wanted to yourself, would you?

Would you want to know?

I'm not.

Fussed, really.

I thought about lying to her because every day we get, we get like, we got lied to his kid.

We will because my brother's like disabled and that we just went yeah, yeah, you was found you lad, just like found you and that.

But he believed everything before he got diagnosed.

After him, he was like, he believed everything.

So we made-up the story that we found her in a basket and that.

I think it's stuff if like she picks up a weird hobby that I just can't sustain.

Like what?

OK, not even a hobby.

What if she's like a snake kid?

You know the kids who are into snakes and ask every if like a snake in a tank and I'll just be like your dad.

No you didn't.

You had snakes.

7 snakes.

No, absolutely not it.

Wasn't me.

It was me sister.

My sister's a snake kid.

Yes.

I would tell her.

Like her dad died.

Me sister was like 4 years older than me so no my sister's just.

Stay.

I'm not doing snake kids.

Rats and that.

Yeah, my sister is disturbed.

Yeah, mice.

She watched.

She watched Freddy Krueger at like 4 or five.

She's not fucking tap like.

But I would tell.

Her sister, she's to RIP a Barbie dolls heads off.

Yeah.

Oh my God, she's.

Sid is it?

Sid in Toy Story Sid.

Yeah, put to the next door neighbour's letterbox.

No, with little notes on that saying I want to do this to you, isn't it?

She's tapped my sister.

Really, she's she's great.

I wouldn't, I would tell her that her dad died of a snake accident if my kid was into like snake things, you know what I mean?

I just, I'm not doing snake kids.

No.

There's so many things, like generally anyone like a kid who's like mad into a certain animal, I find quite tricky, yeah.

Yeah, yeah.

What did you do?

You have to do you see a picture of the person?

No, because that threw me.

There are some catalogues where you do see a picture of them, but it gets a bit confusing because you start treating it like Tinder and you're like, I don't want to fuck my kid.

Yeah, I don't need to find.

This person sexually attractive?

Yeah.

It's not from a sexually, I mean like you.

Just mean from like a, like a.

Genetic.

But then do you not find that sometimes like the ugliest couple have this like banging hot kid and then you have these people who are smoke shows and they get together and kids rotten kids absolutely rotten.

No, I've seen so ugly fat families me.

From like every every.

Action Fat, ugly families with fat, ugly kids.

I just don't think you you can't.

Big fat ugly kids one.

I love them though.

They're funny.

Yeah, they are.

I love fat ugly kids crying their eyes out.

Sweating.

Yeah, because they can't have any more fucking baked beans because they're too fat and too ugly.

So there's no danger that because.

I when, if I go to an egg clinic, Yeah, if you, if you can do it the way round.

Yeah, I want picking.

What a fat, ugly woman.

What?

So 'cause I'm fat and ugly and I want fat ugly kid to bring up, so I'm has to be fat and ugly?

Call it Tony's.

I knew it's gonna come back to you.

Didn't call Tony or Carol.

Come on, baby Carol.

You.

Call Carl.

Carl, actually.

Imagine if she.

Imagine.

Imagine if she got married to Neville Neville, Gary, Neville's dad, and then she'd be called Carl Neville.

Carl Neville.

Shut up.

What?

Like the Spanish system where they just take everyone's name.

Government.

You'd be called Carol level.

Oh, I'm gonna write a story.

The characters are gonna be Carol level.

So good.

Have you ever done it?

Have you ever done a family tree?

A family tree thing.

No, I love names.

So like where you?

Come from and I like your background.

No, I really liked it.

I mean mine, so it's all English.

I just.

It is just so.

English, I think we're.

Related, I don't.

No, deep down.

Deep, deep, deep down.

We actually.

Might be because my dad's from Bury, Lancashire so we're all I'm all all my families in northwest really are just.

Yeah, imagine if we're related.

That'll be so great, so good for you so.

So I would use those coattails.

So I'm actually I'm actually relate to Jamie Hatch is there if you know?

Yeah, yeah, mine's all Irish.

Oh yeah, I couldn't remember saying this.

Yeah, yeah.

I think it's Preston, not Scottish surname.

No, it's from Preston.

From Preston Babe.

Oh, from the place I thought it was like.

There was a Freddie Quinn's from.

It's.

Very much for Freddie Quinn's On Sea Full cycle.

We were just destined, just destined to mate.

Just destined, just destined, just destined.

He still calls my baby it, but we're getting that.

It's horrible.

No, you were saying before it's.

It's like an Argos catalog.

Is it literally like an Argos catalog?

Kind of, yeah.

Does it smell nice?

I love the sort of Argos Catalog 1.

When I when I was I read.

That so that's how I picked the donors I just like.

You sniff, I went to say a place full of escorts.

Prague.

Oh yeah, they had IMAX screens.

The holograms.

Like knowledge.

Like a Mac screen, Like a Mac screen, Like a picnic circus.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Like a screen and then you click them.

Pick a dicky circus.

I guess she's there we go.

I guess she's, I guess her brains working again.

It's like a picture of the, the, the lady of the night.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

At a bio I've said does.

That have STD history or anything like that 'cause that would be sad.

And the medical, the real number and you just go knock on and you'd be like, hey, Sharon.

So what's her name?

Yeah, so.

I I I never so clearly, by the way, I.

Would because she would never.

You would never.

Is this Amsterdam?

This is Prague.

God fucking yes.

It's called Show Park.

That's sorry, that wouldn't it.

I think that's I think it's a bit Black Mirror esque and dystopian.

If you had a digital catalog where Joe the you're liking the start of Super Sunday.

Well, football players turn around Dave 36.

No, no heart failure in his family history.

Balding.

I think I quite love that.

That's like the most sterile perfect.

I think that's a perfect way of doing of doing shagging of I think maybe going forward, that's how I like to operate my sex life.

Just have like like windows of men doing exactly that, just walking in being like.

Yeah, yeah.

And then you just have a quick and then I.

Just quick and I just go to the room.

Just quick, yeah.

But it's just like, yeah.

Open mic at 23.

Yeah, we'll.

Cry when it's finished.

Yeah, so will you.

Ask how was that?

That's maybe great.

Maybe that is the future.

Maybe that isn't the worst thing in the world.

Yeah, it's just 5th frowned upon, isn't those, isn't what I mean, I think it's frowned upon, but it's safe.

Babe yeah tell yeah.

But where's the the Genesee qua?

I've given up on that 'cause when I was gonna say quad it, it ended up like a fucking shit heap.

So I'm not gonna gonna say quad it anymore.

No, Tony, you haven't.

I won't hear it.

No, I won't.

I won't hear it.

I felt the last time he was going, you were getting like jazzed about it.

I.

Don't deserve the fairy tale, I don't worry.

What about the girl who needed a Shin Grimsby fuck?

It up.

Hey, what about this throngs of hot models at that McDonald's on the way back from Cardiff?

Listen, I haven't got time for them because you know, this has been long, but it's just, I just can't find the connection at the moment.

I think I need to love myself, but I hate myself.

But then I can't be asked changing that.

So I'm just going to be sad forever.

Have you got that thing, that male comedian thing where you're like, I could get help and make myself better than what if I'm not funny?

Yeah, right.

OK, well, you're all fucking demented because that is the most of Jesus.

That is the most ridiculous.

Thing if I wear fat.

That's what, right?

They all have this thing where they're like, if I get happy, I'm not going to be funny.

No, you'd just be fucking better in green jokes.

Plus.

You know fat jokes always do them.

Or fat.

Film them and then Benham.

Yeah, I've got great pre mum jokes.

Filmed it, bend it.

I hate that, you know, I'm such a tortured son.

Yeah.

Tears O'Connor.

You've not got a laugh.

Two years.

Tears O'Connor.

What about those self-service checkouts?

You don't remember the London Olympics?

I don't know man, it's just.

Hey, we all enjoyed COVID.

It's.

Just it's just a dynasty within.

It's just those performers, huh?

Anyway, remember Brexit?

Sort of fucking contort in your eyebrows Like the Daily Milk advert as well, you prick.

But this is the thing, like we don't mind binning old jokes that are now no longer timely.

You can bin old versions of yourself that are no longer timely.

Is the truth, Tony?

Just gonna take ages.

Yeah, babe, it's life is long.

I can't wait.

I can't wait till you meet the woman who finally deserves you.

I think if I meet, I think if I meet a woman who really have a connection, yeah, I think that I'm not.

I'm not dependent on how I shouldn't, but I think it will help.

Do you or do you think your sabotage because you think you don't deserve it?

Help me.

It did.

I absolutely.

Helped.

Yeah, a rope and I was one of the Chilean miners.

Yeah.

I don't think there was a that is law.

But that is.

True.

Yeah, that's.

True also that's true also.

Can we discuss this story Chilean miners is one of my absolute favorite stories.

That was the one where at the top.

I mean, it's lovely that it worked out and it was Lauren's situation where she rescued a good Chilean miner.

But do you the.

Old survive.

They did.

Yeah, it was.

Hilarious 110 This is great.

It's that it was hilarious.

So all the wives are obviously atop the hole waiting for their Chilean minor husbands to come out.

So were all their mistresses.

So at the top of this hole, when all these men were stuck in the ground, that was the only where that was the time when women and people worked out that these men had been cheating on them.

Because the girlfriend's like, oh, that's my, that's my boyfriend.

She was that, that's my husband.

They were like, what can you fucking imagine the carnage at the top of this hole?

They're all just down there.

Be like, oh, I hope I hope we don't die.

And then they got on the leg.

I wish we died.

This is so bad.

Like I.

Put the rope down, Yeah.

I can't reach it honestly.

God, he just obviously saw two women.

He put, he put his head up and go.

I I, I left my.

I left my phone.

I got back.

Down I stay in hall OH.

Much of the conduct, I fight you all out of there.

Hey, Chaos.

My day, what a day.

That that that must happen at some funerals, that surely.

Surely it happens in funerals of country western singers.

I feel like half of them are singing about that.

About like on the day Carrie Underwood famously has one.

Have you seen it in weddings where they've found out and they like leave their presents?

Obsessive.

They have like screenshots of I'd love to watch that.

Baby, it's single people porn.

It's single people porn where you watch people on the most special day of their life.

Fucking ruined, lines ruined.

She's like, they're in her dress.

You're like, here we fucking.

I think there was one way that you've you've all got a card there, my beautiful bride, and they open the card and it's text messages of shagging the best man.

So great.

And then what happens is your interests.

And then therefore she's crazy like the mum feet.

Yeah, I can't wait to get in.

Well, there's the one where let the brides find out the day before that her the fella's been cheated on and she has the wedding anyway.

But the officer's not on.

No, well, she'll like she'll like read out like they'll be, although it'll be a speech, the restaurant when there's a whole speech.

I mean, like, I just want to read out some text messages I found from my and it's just oh, so good, so good.

I don't care if they're staged.

I don't care.

But it's so good.

Yeah, yeah, because you could.

Some illegally get it annulled.

You could.

Do what I mean, because you haven't.

That's why I used to be a massive fan of of catfish.

Catfish was sick.

'Cause I was like when a fish quality was so.

Good.

Do you have any food through the guy's phone?

Just someone's life.

Ruined through through the guy's phone in the river.

So it's like you've broke her heart and stuff.

She's led her on for mum so he's just texting.

He went listen to him talking to Neve leave.

Shulman, he was so brave.

He was so.

Brave the bravest person I was so.

What was that?

I mean, there was such an appetite back in like the early naughties for just people's lives being ruined on the.

Camel show that Darty had cancelled didn't.

He they're doing it now one like married at first time married did.

They get cancelled in a general.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Some are.

Too many people.

One too many people killed themselves.

I guess they had like a cap and they capped out.

Yeah, they know it's gone over now.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Well, more boys and so, yeah.

Comedy, we'd all have to stop.

Buckaroo for scum money yeah they're doing it now to a certain extent without mode at first sight because I love mode at first sight, but I I was OG save as one and save as one.

It was a genuine social experiment.

It was based on loads of different compatibility and now it's just like reality.

Now it's just like Love Island and I've heard through the Grapevine, I've got some mass contacts, won't name them.

They say like they have like producers on there and they go, I'm not leaving this dinner pie until there's an argument, so you better start shit.

It's just that's.

Was that made in Chelsea?

They'd have to like, redo their arguments, their things, so that they could film it and all that.

That's what happened with Big Brewer, wasn't it?

Yeah, because Big Brewer the first couple of seasons was fucked up.

Like it was just fucking weirdos, you know?

It was like like attacked that other woman and they had to like stop recording and and and get him out the house.

As well, Yeah.

Do you remember the year with John Tickle?

They have John Tickle in it.

And that year was brilliant because they all just got on and the producers hated it, obviously, but they went, no, we're just I was on.

But that's nice watch as.

Well, I know that's what I mean.

I I like that because it's authentic.

Don't like that fucking Caroline this year.

She's a little bitch.

I've now I've done a few years me like.

I've been fantasizing about putting her up for eviction.

Me.

I've been doing me a little speech on that.

Manifesting.

I went where there's a hard Caroline, there's a swinging brick putting you up.

I'm OK.

I went.

You don't tell how it is.

You lack emotional intelligence after the Caroline.

That would that would kill her.

Because just because you tell her how it is, that's not a good personality trait.

Because you lack emotional depth to take and you lack empathy to know what these these words carry weight.

So you're not just saying how it is.

It's not being authentic.

It's being rude and sometimes cruel.

It is, you know, sometimes I think that we're people, they're like that that's just rude and they're like, well, I just, I just mean it.

You're like, but it's so.

Rude.

Shut up die or something.

Fucking.

What you what for eviction?

Yeah, bitch.

I fucking tell them I love this.

I love this side of you, Jame.

It's really sexy.

Really.

Sexy.

Yeah, I really like that is nice.

Passionate.

He's.

So.

Passionate.

Redhead bed that's.

What it is?

Yeah, my favourites.

Absolute passion.

I know I, I remember being Kate talking about on iPod about like doing a, doing a comedians love islands.

I, I just think it would be so funny.

I mean not what single person would kiss, but it would be very funny.

Yeah, so autistic.

Oh.

My God.

Just all the female comedians pissed out of their head and the boys are the corners.

Just the girls on one side, the boys only there, Yeah.

I'll tell you what.

That'd be perfect.

And and that will show just how fragile the male comic ego is.

Oh my God, there's nothing more delicate than that.

Seriously.

In.

The amount, the amount of affirmation I need to get off Lauren.

So I'll watch EastEnders to myself.

Yeah, but she's read.

She'll like, be reading a book or doing something proper, and I'll just go.

You see this oven?

This is what I mean.

They would never, they would never forgive that argument that they had six years ago.

So why now, these now best friends?

I'm right.

I love him.

Yeah.

Yeah.

He's so spot on.

So she just.

Gets there that's what male that's.

Right there.

So it's one of those suddenly joke about like, I don't know what they were all doing before I moved to the Northwest because my phone is just the male comedians being like, it's so I was like, what were you doing before I got hit?

Like what, what, how were you?

And I really, you weren't, you were all just desperately sad, broken people.

And that's, and now obviously you're driving so hard.

And that's because I got here.

It's because I got to the Northwest.

Because.

Because you got here.

Because I.

Got to the northwest.

Look around, look how happy those.

Boys are, I had 10 years off though that night and it was like, you did.

It was really good.

It was really good.

Yeah, yeah.

Then when I come back.

OK.

And then I everything is good and then how successful you are.

No, it's better.

It's.

Just in the water if you.

Just look at how like when they try and play everything cool and then if you got if you got ranked not first.

I'll be all far.

She's a slug, he.

Didn't even.

He didn't even write what he was talking about.

He didn't even write his own conversation.

Fucking film it then.

It is.

It is still a bitchy game, isn't it?

Do you know what I think is interesting?

Is it what ours.

I think what's really interesting is actually up here, it's the reason I think I've said this before, it's so different from London is you guys actually give each other shit to each other's faces and then would go to bat for each other behind each other's back.

It's completely opposite in London.

Whereas I think it's really funny you guys give each other such shit and are like and roasting green rooms and would never say anything nice at all.

But then behind each other's back are actually like really love each other and all of each other and.

Exciting for each other, yeah.

I had Freddie on the without he'll hate this but just being like how fucking.

That is all the nicest, yeah.

Buoying people up like apps again.

He will make me delete this because he's a horrid boy.

Obviously he's a horrid boy, but it's just like buoying people up and it's so everyone's, yeah.

Yeah, he's got.

Yeah, he's, I had calls off a few times.

So just like just just fucking just to say like, well done on show, I think.

That's so great.

Or just so.

Yeah, I think you're all actually secretly nice little.

Cutie boy, Cutie little.

Boy, it's cutie.

Little we have the cutest we're the we go, we go.

Skip your hands.

You are the.

Cutest boy am I to Dora.

Before we go Hatter a new segment, I was didn't really Segwayne so because there's nothing so much fun guys, No, I know let's build hatch Preston's perfect pub so.

Is that OK with you?

4 drafts on draft for.

Free.

Is it if I was focused Guinness?

Beers.

Oh yeah, yeah.

Yeah, well, beer.

Ciders, whatever beer, cider, just your draft like I guess or your your pumps.

I know what draft is.

You have to act out.

I know a middle class.

I know what a draft beer is.

You.

Know short nail draft.

Draft, draft.

So it's draft, you know what mine would be just for, just for sentimentality.

Sake.

But then you've got to think of business too.

It's a bit of a.

OK, so personal is fosters.

Oh, because when I was six years old, I strolled into a kids kids party.

I was 6.

They were also six and my dad dropped me off and the dad and the dad like saw today was like Harry, Harry, what can we get you to drink?

What can we get you to drink?

And I looked this man in the eye while my dad was standing behind me and said my favorite drink is fosters.

My dad was like almost Oh my God.

Oh my God.

And that's what happens when you have a northern dad from Berry bringing up children in West London.

So Fosters would be on draft Guinness 0.

Can we discuss Guinness 0?

Zero.

Yeah, I'm.

Not a I'm not a zero drink.

It's.

Unbelievable.

Drinks get fucked up.

Oh, yeah, no, no.

But just if you ever decided like you were pregnant, then I will tell you Guinness 0 was an unbelievable sub It's unbelievable.

Did it really help you there?

And this is delicious.

Oh, so it's a growing market, the business alcoholic thing.

Business, yeah.

It's a glory market, isn't it?

Yeah, Yeah.

Loads of soft corn.

I was.

Like, no, yeah, I'm so bad.

Loves with the world.

Yeah, exactly that.

Drink pasta.

My other one is Leffe because I think the glass.

Is so cool.

What?

What is it?

Leffe because the glass is so.

Cool.

Oh, Leffe, the Greek thing.

Belgian Belgian Arena.

Same babe, same, same.

But it's in like a chalice, isn't it?

The Leffe thing is in like a chalice, which I.

Love.

OK, I should adore it one more.

Do we need one more?

Yeah.

Moretti.

Oh, I'm.

Going to turn down a Moretti.

I think you pulled the market there.

Thanks.

Thanks.

Thanks.

Thanks.

Three spirits.

Yes.

Tequila, always tequila, always tequila every single day.

Does mezcal count?

Yeah.

That's like a nurse though, isn't it?

It's not really a spirit, but OK.

So tequila, mezcal and then like Peach naps with sluts.

Oh.

Yeah, thank you very much.

So I'm, I'm, I'm creating this image.

All right.

I'd love a Foster's Drinker to go on the Peach snaps slot.

Oh my God, that baby's.

Going to have a baby.

It's going to be a car crush.

But like, live in a karaoke bar, That's what that couple.

Does three shots.

Tequila again?

Tequila again I.

Change your tequila spirit through Vodka I.

Hate it.

I hate it.

Oh God, absolutely hate it.

No, I think it's like an old girls school thing because it was, we were all told vodka's the thing to drink so it's got no calories and so we just drink it out of like fucking Evian bottles and I, I, it's too much now it's like nail Polish remover.

I smell it and.

I'm like, it's just.

Awful, awful, awful.

That one.

That's awfully string.

Those are the plastic bottles just.

Literally vodka like in this, because we knew there's no calories and we were like, oh, that's the best way to get drunk and not put in any way.

Fucking hell yeah.

We're fucking smart, girls, fucking smart.

And oh, oh, oh, Aftershock.

I haven't had to shock.

You you have to hold in your mouth.

Shock.

Holding your mouth and you were like, Oh my God.

This place, this place is wacky.

And then?

Do you remember there was that liquor when we were little called Lucky Strike?

We're gold bits in it.

Oh dear.

Goldschlager.

Goldschlager.

Why do we call it lucky?

Strike the gold bits, they say.

Cut your throat and the alcohol.

Got into quicker.

Yeah.

They had flecks of gold in it.

Yes.

Those are my teen years.

That's what I want.

Yeah.

Yeah, that's what.

I want you don't like when you say ask the guest to the pubs.

She says a lot about the person, obviously you.

So much.

Can I have one more?

Because it's a sentimentality.

Because I lived in Chicago Fireball.

Oh fireball, that is a savage.

One fireball and yeah, that was that was.

OK.

So then we were having like deco.

What kind of style?

I know it's really.

Is it a bar or a pub do?

You know what deco I love and I'm not being paid by them, but I just love it so much.

Do you know Monroes?

I love that that's it where it's like it's a pub, but it's it's not like it doesn't smell of pub carpet.

Yeah.

And the decor's really cool.

So like a bit of neon.

I love a bit of neon and a tradition.

Vibrant.

Yeah.

I've ever introduced some old coasters from like the 1950s just like on the wall.

OK.

Like, but like vintage.

Do you?

Save Do you save food or just?

Yeah, yeah, it does.

But but but like it will say bar snacks.

Yeah.

And I'll be like nachos but chicken dippers but a Mac and cheese.

But like, I'd say 10 things and a bacon sandwich.

Oh yeah.

Not enough people have bacon, just 1/2 that, 1/2 that on the menu.

I don't care if you're fucking Indian restaurant have a bacon sandwich on the menu.

Everyone loves that.

And you.

What was the other thing?

The name.

Yeah.

The haggard bitch.

What the haggard bitch?

Haggard.

Bitch.

Ohh, I love that day.

That's the haggard bitch.

Well, from one haggard bitch to another, it's been fantastic to have you thank.

You it's great to catch up.

I love, I love you.

All I love to Little Miss Picks bring her up.

Well, don't bring her up as an IVF baby.

Maybe just, you know, maybe.

I.

Don't tell her.

Yeah.

Just just say you, you know you're a dickhead sometimes.

Yeah.

She'll turn out better in the pub.

In the good you say, Right?

She'd be able to buy Jamie Quavers in 18 years.

That's all for.

When was at 89 lbs Yeah.

Long game for these quavers, Britain.

I'm by the long game for these quavers.

Well, thanks for joining and where can people find you?

I'm doing the big phase on the 17th of December which is my show which will be really fun in Liverpool.

We are 4 comedians and then I we're releasing my taping toxic waste my taping not special my taping toxic waste at the beginning of December also and.

Gold much hat.

One of our perfect favourites, our lovely, lovely lady of femininity.

That's keeps us masculine boys in check and we need that.

More on the circuit, we'll all agree.

That's all for us, I think.

Do I plug your toe or?

Nah, Let's leave it wholesome.

We love you lots.

Can I thank?

You.

Sorry, can I ask Rick Swanby because Tony said his London show was the 4th.

It's not.

It's the 30th of January.

Yeah, it was close, I know, but.

Just in case someone goes Nah.

I can't do the 4th.

Yeah, and I'm the first of Feb.

So why don't they 2 for one not 2 for one money wise?

I.

Made of money I'm.

Not sharing that, but come and watch Tony stay over and watch me the next hey?

Are you the first of all Fabia in London?

And where am I?

London is yours.

Sunday.

Yeah, I think so.

Mansati.

Wow.

So what a weekend.

Oh, maybe we could have a little romantic week away in London.

Who knows?

Goodbye, everyone.

Everyone.

You're cuties.

I'm not moving.

Yeah.

And I'm not moving.

You could definitely be a lead singular band.