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Let's get into the episode.

Let's pause, put on your pod shoes and dance the Blues.

Let's pod ready to go then.

Yeah, OK.

I'll, I'll maybe.

Oh, that's not introduced.

That's just fucking roll with the punch.

I think hurry on.

Yeah, welcome.

Hello.

This is an inside to what we do on Patreon.

Yeah, get that curtain peek behind it, baby.

Yes.

Start again, start again.

That's been saying that again, do off and on, do off and on, do off and on, do off and on off.

That's what they're doing it.

Was talking about professional and you just went what do you want about?

That Well, no, we're going to be more professional now.

This is a peek down.

Hey guys, do you have a curtain at all?

Peek behind it.

You'll see us.

This is what we get up to when the lights are low.

And that's on Patreon.

This is this is basically a public episode for you guys who support the pod.

Yes, very grateful for you.

And we thought, you know what, let's give an example of a patron episode to the public to then hopefully grow our patron and grow the ever expanding fairy army.

Yeah, and you meffs need to start because me and Jamie, I've got bills.

I'm going on towers tomorrow bro.

Are you on old towers?

Yeah, double date.

Oh, who's it with?

Me and Lauren and Callum and Meg.

Oh.

That's a nice double date.

Nice and fancy.

Oh, you didn't ask you?

I've got a girlfriend.

But did ask her, did you?

Yeah.

You sure?

Yeah, and you went?

No, because of the Yeah, yeah, fuck you get.

Scared of rides?

Yeah, I can't fit on rides, to be honest.

Yeah, so nice bit of basically I went for park a few weeks ago.

Yeah, do you get the bug?

And as soon as I come back, I was just like, oh, I don't know what you doing.

Wednesday the 10th to to Lawrence.

Nothing.

Why are you gonna think It's just thinking that she's getting, you know, wind and dined and that they're like, bang, you're on oblivion now, bitch.

Without the street lady.

I'm taking it to Stoke.

I took it to Stoke twice.

What?

Was the first time I stoke.

I took it to stoke loads that I mean, recently.

Oh, our first ever sort of date was a comedy club, A comedy gig in Kids Grove outside of Stoke.

I was.

Off with Freddy Quinn, was it?

Yeah, it was a fucking dive, man.

And did you bomb?

No, I did well, but it was hard work browser.

I had to graph my.

I was like, when you're playing foot, you do stop over because Missus is watching.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

I was like, I thought the these are fucking rotted microphone not working and all that.

It's got acapella and that Freddie Mercury.

Oh.

She's just sitting there going, oh, what's this?

Just like fuck you, just following difficult situations.

That new stuff's really on.

Same set now five years later, but we went to Stoke last week last Saturday, had rare Saturday off.

Rare Saturday off.

I have a lot of Saturdays off now.

Yeah, because why?

Did you go to Stoke last Saturday?

Because I went to the cinema.

Why in Stoke?

I couldn't be asked going to Manchester.

Yeah.

So at Stoke.

But there's this closest cinema, surely?

Not really where you where you live?

Do you live by Stoke?

No.

What?

We live half an hour away from Stoke.

I wanted to recliner.

I'm not.

I'm coming in.

And what mission lab?

It's so you you live now little bit about.

Half an hour?

Yeah.

It's half an hour drive, yeah.

And it's and it's an hour drive to Yeah.

Yeah, and it's busy here and busy in Manchester.

Do you know what I mean?

Just.

So you just, Oh yeah, I want to stop.

That's a shit.

I have to go to the pitches that.

Are you know when you go to a car park again, you're like fuck me bro.

This is there's been some crime watch reconstructions and this.

Guy Yeah, yeah.

Did you have like a Hollywood Bowl or something?

We've done a laser quest, I think.

Yeah.

Yeah, yeah.

Did you get recognised there?

One of the stuff open the door for isn't nice.

Oh, it's nice.

Like a big man, you know, watch the weapons.

Oh, what's that about?

Weapons is oh, it's got to own it out of Ozark.

No, the the kid.

The fit girl, the kid.

The kid.

No, the whoa, whoa, she's called.

Yeah, the blonde mom to kill, Yeah.

Fucking man, She's my bit of right man.

Oh my God, I had such a crush on her and all that came out.

Did you?

Oh, in that little one domain, Jamie H do I mean, you have to go in the barn, Jamie.

I'll go in the barn.

I'll be a little big.

Oh, fuck yeah.

This.

Is the accident.

Yeah, Joe, I'm just like, you know, she looks like she smells a bit.

Joe, I love behold.

Oh, fuck.

You know what I mean, Joe?

Like, like, why is she going to wear perfume and she's mucking out?

Do I mean, she's a mucky girl, man.

Yeah, it's the, yeah, it's the kale that obviously I've already seen like one or two seasons of.

What was that?

So the kale obviously does the the thing with the the main manners in it, yes.

It's like white trash.

Yeah, and like a brother's like hillbillies in a Yeah, he's.

Fucking fire.

Oh, she was my thing for a while, man.

She was my celebrity crush for a while.

Should.

I be watching this now because it's not a patient.

Off white knickers.

Have you got a message to Jamie?

Because when you're watching.

Some of you off white knickers.

White knickers, not the fucking fashion label it means.

Pissed knickers.

Oh Jame H of the Green Room radio shout.

Yeah.

So what's this weapons about then?

She's a teacher in a primary school.

Yeah, very different character, but shows a range she's really good in.

It has she got the same accent.

She's got something twang, yeah, but she's obviously not like a.

Louisiana's initial like that.

So yeah, Virginia or whatever, all the kids in a in a classical missing at the same time.

Oh fuck.

2:17 AM in the morning, they all just run out of their house and it's and there's one kid leftover.

He didn't.

He didn't run out.

He didn't run out now.

Yeah, that's me.

That and that's me.

If I was in that weapons 20 past 2:20 in the morning, shut up.

You'd like I'll be there in 10, yeah, I'm on me way and then but the way the films made is I'll give too much weights.

It's done from a lot of characters, different perspectives.

Like.

That and I'm sorry.

Keeps you guessing.

All the stories intertwine and stuff like that, and it's got that Chinese monk in it, Chinese guy who's in everything he's in, like he's in big films and that.

Jackie, John.

The Chinese monk.

Oh, he's the.

Guy is he called Alan, He's a detective and someone who was a monk detective.

I don't know if he was putting the accident on.

He's a detective in that thing where the old where there was all getting killed.

Yeah, that was that.

No.

What's that program mean?

What's that?

Oh, do you know what I mean?

What, what, what?

Which from?

This guy.

Yeah.

He's it for the Cameron.

He's in everything that that needs a Chinese pet or an Asian person.

He's the man they.

Get what's his What's the series he was in lads.

Where was the detective?

And he was a monk.

I'm looking out because I know what you.

It's all like rich kids getting killed and stuff about the game.

He made the game.

Someone made the game.

03 body problem.

Three body problem.

Fuck me, do you remember that?

I've never seen you.

Oh, Jeremy talks about 3 body problem.

You have seen it.

It was the weird one where they put the headsets on and he went into like a virtual reality, but it was real sort of thing.

And the world.

It was about the aliens coming to take over or something like that.

30 where they could, if he could read the mind.

Maybe I can't remember.

Was that it where the atal have somewhat?

Where the atal have like somewhere where?

I don't know.

If you've watched Everybody Problem, you know that's not what the comments it was about.

Yeah, I've watched.

I've watched.

What we watched with it was like big people could read, the aliens could read the people's minds they act like.

Yeah, stuff like that, I think.

It was when they put the headset on, it was like it.

It went into their brain.

It wasn't just like like that.

It was like real, but then they were then being used as like the aliens are like, we're going to come for this world in like 20,000 years or whatever.

We're going to get there.

Or something.

And then they sent someone, someone's head to go and get.

The yeah, it's like big.

And if that's well, I got a mountain thing and there's a big door, so I mean.

I don't.

I don't remember that.

But she's stopping.

She's stopping the time travel thing, weren't you?

Oh, I need to be watching, man.

That's warm me up that.

Can you Google where he's from?

Is he from Manchester?

I'm sure.

He's from Manchester.

I'm sure he's, you know, he plays a Mankin anyway.

Not in the not in weapons.

Weapons All American.

What's in weapons?

Is a head teacher.

Oh, is he?

Eccles.

Yeah, sulfur, Sulfur.

See, you might be watching this now.

I hope so.

He's going to pay you.

Yeah, some of you offline because.

Yeah, so, so at 2:20 in the morning, yeah, all the kids just get out of bed and just walk out the door.

So she's under suspicion.

Like what have you told these kids to do with that?

Oh, to him, to my man.

No, no, the girl.

The girl who's.

Off way to the hills.

White knickers girl.

Yeah, I said to my man China.

No, no.

And all the parents like to teach her.

All right, sorry.

They're all having to go there.

What?

She's.

On and that and the kid who's left behind and the kids are I don't want to talk about.

Nothing to do with me and she's like nothing to do with me.

Jamie H why don't you interrogate me, mole?

Then I get down here.

I'm just like, hey, took them kids on and it's just like no Jamie H, I'm afraid ever so much.

I had nothing to do with those kids going missing.

Oh man, that's going to talk about over a bar and we get pissed and we play pool and that and just don't really not take a shot or show.

I'll take a shot and she backs up into me a little bit and then we call back to it goes from different perspectives or goes from here perspective lead up to that day, then a police officers perspective.

And then the kid who's left the.

Hands and the kid and then, you know, just loads of different characters are all intertwined and it's really good.

Right, it's about we don't want to keep, we don't like.

7 out of 10, so it's seven out of.

10 Seven out of 10.

Good seven, Good 7.

We don't give like to give spoilers out here, right?

But so where did the kids go?

I'm not.

I'm not going to say well.

Don't want to give any spoilers, I'm not going to.

Say, well, Eddie, dad, we don't know.

We don't know.

Who knows?

Watch it bro.

Off.

Started doing a thing as well.

I don't know I'm going to keep it up for so I might do these on the Patreon going forward.

Little tease there because we have we go through different sections of Patreon.

Don't we have features on Patreon that usually lasts up to two weeks?

We forget, but I've always been quite ashamed of the lack of films that I've watched drop in.

Why?

Just, you know, when I often comes up in conversation and people call what you've never seen finger you never see.

Yeah, yeah, I get that because I think I've seen all you know that films where people say have you seen this?

I've seen them on Yeah, yeah, it's still the ones I haven't.

I'm I'm a movie both but.

I'm not.

But I just, I don't watch, I'll just watch like classic ones.

So in mid 20s I made a conscious effort to get better with food, Yeah.

What happened?

I got better with food.

How?

How?

Because I eat fucking pasta now.

Yeah.

Oh, I thought you meant like diets.

Like no no, I just try more things to try fishing that do what I mean.

Yeah, of the chippy.

No fish.

I don't want a sausage dinner this week.

I wouldn't have bathed fish.

Oh, Jamie, hi, I got a climb you can lick.

No.

So I made a conscious effort to like try.

Yeah, could try more foods.

I remember you saying years ago that you start selected foods like chips, wasn't it?

Yeah, you should just need chip.

Every restaurant I go to the new chips like I'm not going yeah, not going to still do chips, bro.

Rice is a fake carb to me so.

You've explored your taste buds.

Yeah, and now I'm exploring my cultural intake and trying to watch more great films.

So a list got sent around a couple of group chats them in of New York Times 100 Best Films of the 21st Century.

And and it's not.

Yeah, but it's still a list in it.

Yeah, OK, you, you get 4050 out of it.

Yeah, but it's a list in it.

I mean, that's it's something to go off.

To shinless list on that.

That's not 221st century, is it?

It's nice is.

I don't know.

Yeah, isn't it?

I don't know if it was nice.

Yeah, it's nice.

So it's some, it's a place to start in it.

So I've done 2 off the list already.

I thought I did.

No Country for Old Men.

What a fucking film.

That's not a film, that's a film.

And there will be blood.

Oh, good start.

That's a great start.

Good start.

I preferred no country for old men.

Did you?

Yeah, I love that.

Will be blood.

But I prefer no country for old men.

No country at all.

Man's fucking no country.

What you need it?

I've seen no country that is that the one where the cycle with the ball lead.

Yeah.

Yeah, well, the guy's just like, so the guy is just fucking chilling and he's like fucking, he's some fucking dare for me dare.

But he's later.

So it's like, wow, fucking dare runs off.

He's like fucking little dare cunt.

You and I see the dust settles now.

It's like, fuck, is that a Ford Fiesta there?

Bang down.

So what are these fucking fiestas doing over there, mate?

So it goes down, checks out.

Yeah, so slows deck Mexicans kicking about is like fuck me, this is a Fiesta Club God Rogue do.

I mean, anyway, he checks the Bootle on pots, the Bootle on bear, everyone in there, bro.

I mean, smack for dizzles.

Yeah.

And then he's like, this guy's like fuck you.

You go there Aqua Rumby and you have you got water friend, There's around those being Mexican bear, no Aqua, no party, and he's like there must be fucking some dot.

If there's also everyone knocking about, there must be coke.

Must be some fucking dog knocking about.

I mean.

Or Coke.

Or Coke, Coke's all gone.

So, so he's like, right, I'm going fucking try this morning.

Now this guy, he tracks day for days.

Don't that's what it means like looking at hoof prints and that is that right?

This day's got overhead.

I mean, he's one of those brothers.

So he's like, fuck me.

Yeah.

There's a little fucking blood splashing, a bit of mustache here.

There's a Mexican somewhere.

So he's like, gets his old skull pack went right.

If I was a Mexican and my mustache was falling out, I'd go under a tree.

So he looks around trees.

Yeah.

So he looks around trees.

Yeah.

He sees this like he's like, oh, fucking sunbathe or just just check him out.

Gets little binoculars out.

So it's so sunbathe in this Mexican with a mustache and it's like oh some baby a lot, but it's dead.

So chips over to him now here guys, fucks as Mexicans done out here bro absolutely fucked in a tree.

It's got a suitcase on it, man.

Fucking 2 mills in there there 2,000,002 mills.

So he goes home, yeah, goes on to his caravan and that.

So it's like, yo, Carla, whatever you called fuck you, Carla.

It's bad.

Jeez, I got where have you been?

Jamie Hage, not now.

You've got your knickers off giving me headache for Jeez, are we talking to you?

Like shut up.

I've had a day of it.

Do what?

I mean, we've not got any day, but it's trust me, she goes better than that.

Battles everything, wakes up because you don't need to go to your mom's.

I'm not going to my mom's.

Jamie Hage.

You tell me why lad go your mom's do my fucking head in does he?

No, he's done it.

He's like go your mums are not going on that was she chipped off to to the mum.

He's got 2 Ms.

but he realises he's left it He got he wakes up in the middle of night after he shagged his like right.

I'll go and give him some water then.

So he checks back out guys missing in her is that folk they're on to me, bro, So he's like folk these are on to me next he gets pimping starts getting popped up, bro is that thing thing like goes in like Neo in the matrix yeah, 1999 can't watch it.

So he's like foot.

These are after me jumps in like the swamp and all like swimming.

Then they send a dog after him, the dog swimming.

So it's like fucking hell, mate, this fucking Aqua dog age what it means like popping you and they had you little fucking more shuttle that.

And then he's got this 2,000,000 and then this.

Meanwhile there's this fucking big dog, you know what I mean?

Gets arrested and he just fucking bangs the police officer You, you arrested.

Like shut up.

It's got like this magic weapon that fires bolts and that and like like a bullet, but that bullet.

And so he's just going round the city, just going where's Me 2 million quids?

And he's like, I don't know, I run a petrol station and he's like, right, you're getting fucking popped.

Where's Me 2 million quids?

I've done all that.

I fucking run a hot hotel like Pang, you're popped.

And he, like, it's like chasing him down the sky, the 2 million.

And then Tommy Lee Jones is a sheriff in it.

Yeah, but he's like, can't be asked.

His little assistant, his little deputies, like, hey, boss, I should go and check with the drugs.

And Tommy Lee Jones, like, I can't be asked.

You know, I got six months left to retire.

I'm going to involve me.

It'll be all that sort itself out in the No Country for All Men.

That was no country for all men.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I do not remember any of that.

Film.

I don't do that.

I was no country for all men.

I just remember going around with the fucking compressed air, kind of the thing.

Yeah, that's what me that's.

Did you get out from that?

Yeah.

So he goes, he goes round to everyone and he goes, have you seen the guy with $2,000,000?

And then the guy goes, no, I run a hotel went and then this, then the Mexican goes.

I guess it's no country for old men, huh Pop?

That's what he says.

That's why he's gone, obviously.

So.

What was there will be blood like?

Wait, wait, just before you get on to that, what's what is the rating?

That's what there should be a rating.

Oh.

Danny, if you're.

Going to do, you need to review it.

No country throw man, don't get to 8.5 out of 10.

OK, what about there will be blood?

There'll be blood next week.

Oh, on.

Patriot and I will be bored.

We get to hear Jamie's tale of how the film is not not how it goes.

Jamie's version of the film, yes.

Fiestas in the Western.

Fiesta in the western.

Yeah, that'll be some call out for the A, a Hey, hey, getting you home safely.

We've got some presents.

Yes.

So this one, can you tell on the box what it is?

It says toys.

You say Mattel?

It says Ron Weasley.

I love Mattel.

What the hell?

Sorry we sometimes get paid.

Patreon send us gifts.

No, we don't get Peach and send us gifts.

We get Peach and send you gifts.

I need it more.

Oh, I got no presents.

You actually got loads there.

There's not a house zone is.

Yeah.

Give me that, fatty.

Give me that.

Give me that.

Now you've been north.

This one minute I'm trying to finger.

I tried to build it up that it was like, well, Tony hasn't got one and well.

Tony has got one.

What's the post code for?

Her addresses.

Put it in there.

Comment LL.

One yeah, shenders, you're off white knickers, but.

We're ruining.

We're ruining Christmas Day now.

Right.

OK, I'm going to put that one just has your name, that one has both.

Right, OK.

So I know what that is, I'll explain.

Afterwards, if you like want send us presents, we welcome presents.

We we both had rough childhoods and we didn't really get spoiled birthdays and Christmas.

So making up for it now with you.

If you don't know my story, I was back to 1991 when I was born and my mum she give she give birth to me C-section it was.

Airlift, some would say.

And she looked at me and she was crying.

She said that's that's my beautiful baby boy.

Then she said fuck feed and that and she left me.

So I grew up in the care system.

My dad's a gambling on it so.

Well, I grew up with me granddad's both still a care system and I didn't get much.

I did.

I got a lot like I'm lying but send them some fucking presents.

So if you've got to send them something to Backstock Market, Hotwalk Comedy Club, what is it?

Do you know where you're tough?

Well.

Do you know where you're tough?

No.

OK, get it out and then I'll tell you.

I'm so happy.

Yeah.

Why am?

I.

Are you Fire Chief as well?

You're not just a fire, but.

Oh my God.

Fireman, Tony man, because I if you don't know, I want to be a fireman.

And now I have Fireman.

That's great.

So do you remember a couple of weeks ago Alicia Bailey bought Jamie a puzzle, the 3D puzzle?

Oh, picture of the weekly trailer.

That's the one.

And you said what the hell man?

And she said I'll get you a present, I just need the present idea.

And then you started, oh you said send me your knickers.

So she said I've bought Tony a present but he has to pay for knickers.

So that was the present.

Shout out to Patreon, I've got knickers to buy.

I said knickers then, by the way.

So.

I was going to go Choo Choo, but fireman don't Choo Choo do what's the fireman's do?

I'm not doing that.

That being meme that lad forever on the Internet.

It will, lad.

Right.

So can we have, can we have an episodes?

Can you make that onto the sound board?

Yeah.

Put that on the sound board and then do you remember on Bullseye when the big bull used to come across the screen and go and bullish special prize?

Can we have that?

Every time we do a new feature, she comes across and goes.

Conspiracy time.

Oh, thank you very much.

Alicia Bailey, thank you very much for the fire and Fire Chief hat.

Appreciate it.

That'd be good for a calendar, wouldn't?

It Yeah, we need to do a Christmas calendar, man.

I mean, if, if we're doing that, we need to get on here.

2027 of me.

Yeah, yeah, we'll do next year.

Like what else have we got?

What should we open next?

I think I know what this is.

This is this is a shit off him.

The Hills with Survivors charity.

Oh, very nice.

Because I've done some a gig for them.

Yeah, it is.

Yeah.

Yeah, just it's like a Hills with survivors stop thing, you know what I mean?

So yeah, that's nice mate.

Goes to this couch.

Goes with my hat.

Yeah, because I've done a gig for them, you know, the charity night.

Yeah, they just said thank you, which it's my pleasure.

I'm always up for doing charitable work when I'm not skins.

It's good, isn't it, over boxing?

Oh, it's this, Jamie.

So I think I know one thing that's in there, I don't know the rest.

It's it's all poochie and OK, it's a good ball.

Ball though, Good.

What about that?

Yeah.

I don't get the reference, I don't get the saying it's all it's all Poochie that for hooch.

Is a Halloween?

Don't outside.

So thank you very much.

I like a water bottle.

Now listen to me, baby.

Oh, it's his brand.

Oh, he must have a brand called It's All Future That's yours.

All right, all day.

Thanks.

For the Jet Jet.

It's the mall.

Yeah.

Oh, nice.

That's your colour, Jamie, as well.

Colour.

Oh OK, I thought this was all.

Like that?

That was nice, but that?

Suits me that it looks like me.

The only problem my friend, thank you very much for the sending these out but I just don't.

I don't know because everyone thinks a stinker poo mate.

It's all bucci.

Oh man, did we get a card?

No, it's a Frankie.

Frankie love you though.

No, that's fine.

I I thought it was something else I was waiting for.

Mike Winch.

We've got another presence somewhere in the building now.

Fuck it, now it's.

All poochie, man, that's poochy.

That's fucking poo.

That love.

You're for a little pretty.

Oh, man, that's fucking lovely.

That thank you very much.

What's the blank?

Called It's all Poochy.

It's all she is, you fucking knob.

I cut that out right.

Oh wow.

Oh, it's all Pooky.

It's all peachy.

No, it's all Pooky.

Don't say that.

No, it is so it says isn't.

It is it P.

UPUCCI.

I mean, you would think it would be Pooky, yeah, because there's no H, but Gucci is as doesn't.

Have I'll tell you what that would look good with Yeah on a skip for all the other rubbish.

Right, one more.

Time.

Oh wow, man.

It's all poochie, man.

That's it's.

Not genuine.

It's not genuine.

It's a new style, man.

It's it's actually quite nice for Joey's been wearing them.

See if you wonder, because he's blind 1.

More time.

Wow.

No, no, no.

Put it down, put it down, put it down.

It's all Poochie, it's all Poochy.

It's all Poochy, baby.

We're adjusted, of course.

Thank you very much, Mike.

That's lovely stuff.

Get you all.

It's all Poochy gear.

It's all poochy.com/poochy.

And if you want to get some, some some, you know save some money, use code with.

Poochy.

Poochy for 10% off.

Have you got any Patreon correspondence for us?

I'm.

Sure we do.

This is another segue.

So yeah, segue time, it's it's that's going to be a button going forward.

Also on Patreon.

It's not just a place to enjoy bonus episodes, which you get 2 a week off by the way, you get an episode like this and an episode in front of a live audience, as well as early episodes, early access to episodes of a guest and pre sale tickets for both our sellout tours.

So it's a really good deal for you Panama.

So please come and join.

But over than all that, than all the content you get.

It's also a little community on there and you can send us messages and we we as we've mentioned, we do a Patreon of the week and we can be asked and all that kind of lovely stuff.

So.

Sign up and you get to see Jamie's film reviews every week for this month.

What's what's next on the list?

But he's getting some correspondence.

I don't know yet, I was thinking parasite but I think I.

Might watch Coach Carter yesterday.

I've.

Seen that load so.

Yeah, I have myself.

But I mean, I just thought when you see a film and you go, you know what?

My probably you sorts out on repeat.

It's on me, provers autism things coach cart is it can do that word for word.

Kind of, yeah.

You're going to run.

If you give me attitude, you're going to run.

It used to make me actor Samuel L Jackson to do what I mean.

So how we do a bit coach cart with today?

Because, you know, like the my deepest fear stuff and all that.

Yeah, he goes, he knows the film.

He knows the film back-to-back.

But his best bet is when he's he's making them do like bleak tests or whatever, suicide runs, suicide runs.

He's like, if you're late, you're going to run.

If they give me attitude, you're going to run so that he'd make me do it.

But things in the house, do you know what I mean?

So like, say if she gives me fish fingers, she's going to run.

This is what?

Your mum?

Yeah.

So she goes fish fingers would say you got to run I.

Don't wonder she used to batter you.

She had she had two trouble.

If she don't do a coffee, she's going to run.

I feel so sorry for your mum, you know, you used to that.

I was like, just causing chaos.

It's funny.

I don't wonder she had a break.

Tyler, you'll just fall around and send to me.

Samuel Jackson.

No wonder she lost the block.

I thought you're used to narrate life as well.

What you should have raised her life.

About mine, but obviously because I've spent so much time before.

She used to fucking hate it, lad.

Does she?

Did you used to want them on purpose?

Yeah, so say she'd go like you've got to clean your room, I'd go, said Mum.

I'm really Jamie just started relaxing.

She.

Gets more and more and I just.

Keep the same.

That's class.

She approached him, ready to hit him.

That's.

So funny.

Yeah, I watched Coach Carter and I need something else to watch, mate, this week, this week to keep me in.

Because you know what it is with me, boys.

Once I have free time, quiet.

It's when the demons get in your head.

I went pub last night.

Just just announced me tour.

Congratulations.

Congratulations.

Thank you, mate.

You know what I mean?

Yeah, no, I was trying to think of release dates, but yeah, this will be well.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

But you know.

Still go and buy tickets.

Because I just announced we talked, well, you know what I mean.

So I was a, you get excited, don't you?

Obviously, you know, very excited A.

Lot of stress builds up to it as.

Well, so once it's done.

Get all your links and all.

Yeah, once it's all out there and you don't and you don't have to puff, do videos and parks and that.

We've got to talk about that video.

Do you know, do you know the worst thing about this is how much of A fat bum I am?

Yeah.

I had to use my dad's phone.

Yeah, because the camera on my phone my the front camera on my phone's broke, shattered.

So I had to use my dad's phone, right.

So told me dad's phone was out for a walk at me steps in.

So I'm trying tried once and I have my dad's phone.

I was in the park and I was just fucking when I was doing this, you could just start to see me.

Big fathead.

Yeah.

So I was thinking, oh, I'll just go up a bit.

You know what I mean?

Obviously like get the fat angles in and like obviously I've went dead eye.

So all I commented just like the piece of Crouch film, which is that's my favorite, was this record on a CCTV camera?

Imagine we just do the CCTV camera.

Made them intact though.

Oh, that's made it a CCTV.

Yeah, yeah.

And then just got fucking to the field for the video.

But I said, I said I don't like you.

You've asked me to do them in the past.

Paul's asked me to do them in the past.

I just you can do them.

I can't do them.

It's.

Only so when we've had adverts in the past for different brands and stuff, I mean sometimes like sponsored by Bud Fire and any 10 and then let's do what we want, which is great.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Some brands that we've had, we've had to read like scripts and stuff and it's mind blowing.

I'll, I'll, you can't just say 2 words to me.

That's what you like though.

And we have.

We have to commit.

One day we'll have to post outtakes again.

It's all it's all patients it takes.

Yeah, yeah, I.

So if you sign off the patients, you'll be able to watch what we're all about.

Try and find them and repost them at the top of the page because we've got loads of new ones.

No loads of new patients in some way.

We had to come in a day after to finish it because we couldn't get through a record that.

I was in tears love, but every time you you recall like, oh, so hey, guys, but like, you know, it sounded like on the on the script.

I was just gone.

And then and then I just get I get I have to say green room with that go hot waters green and then he's got no, that's just two words.

I just get, Oh, it was the worst ever.

I just can't.

I can't read or write love.

My favorite my my my favorite.

I didn't IQ test before.

My favorite thing in the video is where when Chinese sell it and you just went it's an hour long.

I didn't write it, I was just don't want to do.

It's an hour long, there'll be seats.

We did one in here, I said, yeah, where's that one going?

I thought I said it's a pole and then he said I'll just do one off the phone.

I was like, well it's out there.

So yeah.

So what?

Cause obviously to all the stress, I'd say with all ticket links and stuff like that one Sevens live.

When it's out there, I just don't have to even think about it until it's sold 15 tickets and then I've got to pull it.

But yeah, I got excited.

And then I have something to eat with my our friends.

Yo, last night a lot.

Well, tea time.

It's the cafe.

And then I was in town and I went.

So I stop us off a pokes here.

I swear on my own, no one in their lad.

No one.

That's all right.

Like 8:00 I just got a creamy 1.

Just suck at this.

Yeah, just what's the bad?

10 just sat there just on me phone.

Just no.

It's applying to messages of people like getting sick and stuff, you know, support.

Yeah, it's chilling, man.

Yeah, just chilling.

Pint on your own, It's chilling, man.

Get into late though bar too late.

Because Pogues is.

I love it, but it's quiet.

But when it's busy, it's way too much.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Sensing into OverDrive, bro.

Oh yeah, I just had a few go to drinks mate and I'm excited for the for the tour.

You excited me for yours.

Yeah man, more dates went on sale today.

Leeds.

This is how when Birmingham is on 1/3 date in Birmingham, third date in Leeds and 3rd date in Glasgow.

And these talks as well 2027 of a podcast so.

Yeah, yeah, it's 2026.

I'm touring all year pretty much.

Yeah, yeah.

Well, 2027, obviously we did live shows every Friday, so you've got to come down and support it.

Yeah, live shows every week.

By the way, the.

Hot Walls.

Green Room Roadshow.

That'll be class class.

It'll go off because.

It's generic, on the road for ages.

Yeah.

I'd be gone.

Yeah, of course you would like to have your best friend.

I'd be gone to get your drinks and so use it just be like Danny we've.

Been to your house?

Not the best mates.

Oh yeah, I didn't do this in in public.

Oh, you said?

Would you think and save for the Patreon?

I'm saving this the Patreon because it's going to make me sad.

I don't know what to be happy on the.

Part I'm going to save for the Patreon, but you'll have to sign up if you want to see some trouble going off in a minute.

Yeah, it's going to kick off, baby.

Have you got any correspondence done?

I do so it's be bad.

Just message me over.

She's been waiting for an assignment, thinks she's back in union.

She and hey, no one needs say.

Oh that made it sound like your pedo.

No, she's.

She's gone to your student.

She's in her 30s, but her professor, because she's doing a master's, said for it no one gets over 7.

It's very rare to get over 70 and she's got 74 on like a face proper assignment.

So she's.

She's buzzing, so I'm like.

Can I can I say just keep your eye on that professor mate?

Well, she started, so she's one of the professors.

She's watched the fucking like a seminar thing with him and then she's bought like two of his books and stuff and she's like, I'm just so amazed.

Like whatever any saying, it's so interesting.

It's like keep.

An eye on him.

Little teacher's pet.

Keep an eye on him mate.

I once got 100%.

I've had two 100% essays in English in the past.

Got one for Jaws in year 10 and one for Great Expectations in year 11.

Didn't you do an essay about film?

Oh yeah, I'm.

Looking at you now.

Now you give them film reviews.

Film reviews 1.

You're going to need to have your.

Own Where the fuck do them kids go a lot?

What I'll tell you on Patreon.

Sign up if you want to know where the kids went.

John, do I know what happens in jars?

Yeah, yeah.

Patreon Big shark God.

What an actual shark.

And join all the secrets of the people who die.

Yeah, they're all connected to yellow.

And yellow means caution.

I got a minute What?

So in Jaws, the shark, yeah, yeah, he's like fucking like kid in yellow underpants.

I'm having him.

And it's just yellow is a key theme in George and George.

George, George, George George is called.

Is that his name?

George.

George.

George.

George.

George.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Is that the shark's?

Name.

That's Sharks name.

We had George Shaws and he's remember George Stores from Shooting Stars.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

That's where he got that from.

No, that's why he got it was like, oh, I love George.

George is my favorite film.

And obviously it's only Jaws fans know it's called George Jaws.

George Jaws.

And then?

He wants to himself.

George Doors.

Got me.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Goes back to George.

What's yellow goes through the?

Yellow yellow yellow is traditionally means caution but.

Yeah, it's on sides.

Is it?

Yeah.

Like in the Departed where they have the X shadows?

Yeah, and it indicates he's going to get popped.

Yeah, yeah.

It's yellow in Jaws.

Is that true?

Yeah, yellow lilo, yellow underpants.

That's what doing films.

That white Coldplay sang that, Yeah, because it was all yellow.

That should have been the theme tune of Jaws.

Should that often do around when Jaws was?

There no Chris Martin actually come up with.

It was all yellow when he went on the liver transplant world.

For George Best.

Yeah, he was walking down the liver transplant ward and he was just like, fuck, it's all yellow in it.

Chris went you want to something there?

He's a fucking And it was at night time on it.

He was like, look at the stars, look how they shine for you.

We're losing him.

And that was in the that's in the 12 inch mix.

That was Fireman.

Let me put that on.

Oh my God.

Every time we have a guest on, we've just got one minute fire, I'm going to get one.

Oh.

Fucking hell Alicia, I don't want to spy me one but can you send me a link to 1 so I can get one?

Fire, fire.

Hey, we'll just follow the monks on Monday.

I'll just go.

That was fire.

That power.

I just swill them.

We need to make that as like a Gong show, but the opposite.

But if we're firemen, yeah.

Live shows never not also Alicia.

Don't buy another one.

Because I don't buy the one something like.

Genuinely that I think other people have bought 1 so by the time she sees this we should have had already added this.

Yeah, OK, I'll get it.

That's.

What I.

Want the same 1 though.

No other people have comment contacted me to buy you a hat.

I don't want to ruin it, but just now that it's been mentioned, I don't want.

To leave you to buy, people have contacted you to buy me a hat.

Fireman Yeah, because you asked for it and I think everyone got sad because you were sad on the Patreon.

Yeah, but just get me the links.

I won't wear one and next time don't know one.

No one tell an act.

But every time that comes on here, they say something good like yeah, just hide it behind that pack.

Just go.

That was fire, yeah.

Yeah, you know, can.

I can, I just see some of very personal to like people who do like me and stuff.

I don't know if you know, but I'm always late.

These will back me up and I'm always late and I think I know.

I think I know what the problem is.

I'm trying.

I'm trying to be better than you know.

You know, I'm trying to change, trying to get lose some weight.

I'm trying to stop drinking and drugs.

You know, them three work in progresses, but I've reflected and and I know I'm always late because I haven't got a watch.

You know what I mean?

Like if I think if I had to watch, I'd be on time and then me being on time would make me feel better, that me feeling better would stop, you know, over easing, over drinking and over sniffing.

So if there's anyone out there who wants to buy me Rolex?

Rolex.

I appreciate it.

My socks don't match.

I've run out of socks because I always get patterned socks.

Have you really got on socks on?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I've only got.

I've only got like 5 pairs of socks left.

They just keep going missing man.

So where?

Did he go lad?

I don't know, it's fucking annoying in it there's.

The toilet?

There's a toilet?

Is it?

Is that one of yours?

What sock at the toilet?

Yeah, Bear.

Magic.

Yeah, I need some socks, bro.

I just go for it.

I buy them all the time.

Just lose them.

I've just, I've just been messaged there for the for the collab.

Coal lamp.

It collab with a with a clothing fair big boy clothing seriously love so you know you're fat loaded big boy clothing pay partnership.

Pay that what?

And all that's the fast.

Well, I found some weight.

Tom turned to get me big.

Isn't that I'm powered?

Not fat, fat, fat low, lad.

Yeah, you're fat.

You're fat cunt.

Yeah, you're not a fat cunt.

See what I mean?

I'm sick.

This is why it's worse being me.

Because these little fucking fatties, Yeah, they have their own little fucking support group.

What?

I mean they fucking world where there's people like me who struggled with the weight, sure, but they're not fucking disgusting pigs.

We've got no one.

We're not expected by the skinny people.

We're not expected by the fat cunts.

Evil.

Disgusting pig.

What the hell?

Yeah, that was fire.

That's funny though.

We.

We always come up with ideas and don't carry them on.

Yeah, we do.

Please please.

Yeah, we do.

Yeah, she don't start.

We always come with ideas mate, 'cause we.

Just used to.

Always come with genius.

We are bad geniuses.

We always stick to our ideas and and plans and coming soon as genius told us big night.

Three years in the making this, three years of plan, even 5 producers to put in being on 100 as well.

We should just want a GoPro.

All we have to do is really GoPro.

We've been on 1000 nights out.

Yes, Daniel's son.

I've never seen a post ages ago and it was like who's ready for Jamie and Tony's big night out on the page?

It was from like 2022.

It's going, it's coming.

We're just waiting for a couple of bars.

I think the bars we plan to go, if not close, yeah.

And I think they have.

So I'm going to have a beer, mate.

Yeah.

So someone buys me roller.

So which is like blind ranking.

Yeah, Oh yeah, This is what we do on the page.

We do some.

Blind ranking.

Little fun stuff by rank.

Well, when it stays on.

Wednesdays.

Or I want to play that imposter game.

Man, that's fun that what's.

Imposter game.

I don't know if we can play it with just those 3.

Yeah, we can, lad.

No, because one of us has to know that.

So say I'd have to come up with the thing.

I would then tell use.

No, we just random generate it.

I'll be waiting it for you people.

I'm.

Confused.

So say it's footballers.

Yeah, yeah, football imposter, right?

I'll just cut it to Man United players.

Yeah, I'll say, say the purse is Bruno Fernandez.

Two of us will know who it is and one is the imposter, but you've got to make out you know where it is and then you give clue.

So I'll go midfielder, Danny will go creative and you'd say like.

Turn off thunders.

See what I mean?

Like, This is why we can't do anything.

It's a fucking thick old you are, you know what I mean?

We'll do that on page and we'll explain the rules for an hour to him.

Yeah, that'll be funny, that.

Yeah, we don't have the time to do.

This.

OK, Go on then.

Come on.

Anyway, OK, so we'll do this plan ranking things that people find disgusting.

I don't know if you want #1 to be the most disgusting.

People find disgusting or what we think is disgusting.

So This is why I think it would be good because we try to come up with it together, but your answer is going to probably be very different.

So it would be good to see what you come up with.

Different to that apartment, Jamie, Yeah.

So the first one is bad breath.

So what?

How would you think people would rank that, I suppose, or how would you rank it?

Disgusting.

1:00 to 5:00.

So I don't if you want to do the intro, but that was just so you know what type of things.

Blind ranking.

I know you say it as a blind ranking.

Blind ranking what?

No, you say it.

What I'm saying I'll say.

I'll say blind rank killer.

You say something.

What we say blind rank in what?

Disgusting, disgusting hygiene is all hygiene.

Yeah, basically.

Yeah, blind ranking.

Disgusting things.

Blind ranking Bruno Fernandez Should we do a?

Separate list just so we can see how different they are.

Like we'll do, but.

Also, I'll do and individually then and then at the end we'll reveal it.

OK, yeah.

Oh, get.

That.

Well, that's interesting.

Yeah, that's right.

I like that.

It's like a Mr.

and Missus.

Yeah, we need white boards, man.

Someone buys white boards, Let's get white boards, man.

Let's do that.

Put it on the expenses account, Rob, some white boards from behind the back, right what we're saying there.

Put our phones on you.

Yeah, yeah.

Blind drunking, disgusting things.

Green Room.

OK, first one is bad breath.

Out of five.

Yeah.

So am I just going to tell them and then afterwards you can explain your answers?

Do it at the end.

Yeah, that's all right.

OK.

So, or should we say where we've put it now?

I reckon at the end, OK, just so we can't change, no one can.

Change.

Yeah, man, then.

Next one is body older or Bo stanky bits.

Next one is dirty bum holes.

What's is 1 the worst?

One is the most disgusting, 5 is the least I think, next one is dirty fingernails.

Fuck.

This the last one is phlegm.

Phlegm, Phlegm.

Yeah, why is there a GM phlegm?

Why is there a GM phlegm?

It's just the most, it's the most random.

I just put it FLEM phlegm.

It is G, isn't it?

Yeah, pH as well.

OK, so that's the five.

What?

You just come with so bad breath.

What did you have?

I put it forth are.

You changing all yours?

Sorry.

No, sorry, no, I was just putting the last word.

What number?

One No.

What did you put bad breath?

Or should we just want to do that instead?

Go one to do you do?

No, let's say where we put things.

OK then, bad breath.

Where did you just put it 4th?

Bad breath fed.

OK, body holder 5th.

4th.

Dirty, but moles.

3rd, 2nd.

Dirty fingernails.

Second phlegm.

1st.

Can we go down and you're from 1 to fives instead?

Because I could.

Suppose right Number one dirty fingernails #2 dirty of them.

Holes got bad names.

That was fine.

Tony number one Dirty fingernails, 2 dirty bum holes 3 Bad breath, 4 Body odour, 5 flim.

I went first phlegm, second dirty fingernails, third dirty assholes 4th bad breath, bad breath, 5th body holder.

Because he loves body holder.

The thing is, I'm going to.

I have methods of mine, man.

Let's not let you go first, Jimmy.

I don't find any of these that annoying.

That's.

That's what I mean.

Like the only the only justify I've got justified there it's dirty balls being top 2.

That's just horrible shit poos.

Horrible, dirty fingernails, Especially if, say, if you're save someone's cooking food or something, you know what I mean?

Oh my God, it doesn't matter who cooks food with the fingernails or just honestly, I ate these.

If you've got 30 fingernails, then you're going to have 34 hands on it.

I don't.

Care.

I'll tell you what the worst thing gets to me in this sort of realm.

So I have to check what I do.

I'm pretty like.

You've got sweet corn on your nails.

Oh yeah, I had a Dick before.

That was fire.

The worst thing in that sort of hygiene thing is loud eaters.

That's the thing I can't cope with.

Chew and don't do that.

No, no, no, no.

You're OK with someone having bad breath in your in your face?

No, I don't matter as I happens on it.

I don't really, but smells don't really bother me that much.

It's sound smells I can cope with to an extent.

There's a couple of open spots who stunk a piss when I was going out loud.

Was it?

Bad there was like green room like fucking air glade mold struck me stunk of.

Piss.

Piss.

That's audible.

Like a wall of piss bro.

How would you think of piss?

I remember one test.

Someone is in King's Arms in Salford.

So when?

Hey, Jamie, All right, but I could Comedy night for sale from pine.

No, I didn't even hear him.

I smell.

I went Oh fuck fingers.

That's when you can smell someone before you see them.

When you know.

It's their smell.

He's known to be the smelliest personal circuit.

If you ask people who started out with me, it was the smelliest person because you'd think it would be me, but it's.

Yeah, I've heard a few stories about a comedian in a green room and then like being told though like some other comedian said lad you stink of.

I've been told before, not by an aunt.

By you.

When I was working when I was working in the bookies.

And someone said can I have a way with Jamie?

She stink of shit, fatty.

Yeah, but she's like, no, she was dead.

Like she got back at the ocean, said no.

Well, if you want to send some Gibson, you know what?

It's Jamie now.

Somebody old?

Was like don't forget, I know things can slip and stuff but it's just important to.

Me.

Oh, she's nice to buy about.

It really nice.

She was like Danny, but I didn't, I didn't really like to tell you about like a couple of customers I've mentioned like customers.

Don't you know, you know, you know, after happens.

I was just telling the story about.

When you put the papers open, that.

Years in year 7, year 7, because I was a little fat kid, I didn't want to get a shower after pee.

Yeah, because obviously I don't want to get fucking little tits out.

So I just it was pee lessons, 4th lesson and then I had like IT 5th.

Do you know what I mean?

So I've just obviously went played footy and all that, put my uniform back on and I'll get the shower and sat in and I must have stunk.

Yeah.

And then remember, remember like one of the lads just going to me lads, you stink lads.

Yeah, and me head just went.

Ever since that day, I've showered every day.

Everything that I've been told in a couple of jobs, I think it's because, you know, if I have to get up in the morning, I drive and just spend an extra 20 minutes.

Called a big fat puddle, big fat cunt, big pig, big bar and all done saying I stink.

That is my thing.

Like I'm not asked about it.

No sports cleanliness.

That's like we were saying the other week, one of the best compliments you can get is someone going like, what's up?

And it's smelling you and being like you smell amazing.

It's.

Just the opposite, isn't?

It ah loud heaters bro.

Don't be fucking chomping down my scruff to lad teeth there bro.

You got 32 teeth there.

Or knock them out if you start.

Right, that's enough.

There's any young girls out there?

I am single.

If you want to Fireman's lift hit me up on the DMS or if your cats in the tree or on the roof give me a shout.

Well, all.

Right, babies, thank you very much.

Thank you very much.

Hope you enjoyed that little insight.

So our patrons go if you want to see more of that at patreon.com/shop.

It's a more personal approach to us.

You get to see more personal touches.

Instead of interviewing all the comics or guests.

This is more of us.

We get very personal, we get gifts, we have loads of fun coming during the madness.

It's only three pile a month.

It's yeah, £3 a month and 75 PA week and you get loads of bonus shit.

We love you.

Anyway, keep and give us Five star refuse on iTunes, Spotify and all that stuff yes, and we'll see you for more stupidness next week.

Thank you very much.

Bye.

Bye.

I'm not moving.

Yeah.

And I'm not moving.

You could definitely be a lead single a month.