Every time I open up my mouth up and goes out.

Don't wait now two inches b bd bed bum yourself, that pussy up, get a job o ricking honey, rick hod he chasing all I'm black like that, hebout liveing.

It's color easy.

This is Outlaws BUTCHS Medicine.

Is it on?

Honey?

Is it on?

Is this thing?

Recording?

Once?

Some YouTube, Land, Twitter and Instagram, lands, Snapchat, ground of scruff, b G C Jacks, Facebook, pais go and less but not least every single one of my bitches a Choris chun Mingle and the lands all across the land.

This is your grub t S Medicine coming to you loud, live and in color from the Outlaw Podcast.

I don't don't tear down.

Goddamn it, don't tear it down.

So I'm here right now today with a very very good friend of mine.

I mean like we've been friends and I've admired him for a very long time, and I actually my mother actually has a crush.

I remember miss Mary has a crush on you.

Miss Mary was like he is so handsome.

Yes, yeah, miss Mary said, Miss Mary has Miss Mary just like he's just so handsome.

Booth.

It's like, there is no way.

So I'm sitting here with Transman Superstar Leith Ashley.

Leith is a actor, he is a songwriter, he is a music producer.

Uh, he is an entertainer.

But I'm gonna take away from this because I know, y'all I did in the comments and she says TS loves to talk, talk, talk, and don't let the guests talk.

But if you pay attention to the show, you'll understand that this is not an interview.

These are friends having conversations and so sometimes we you know, get the talking and I'll be like, we share experiences, and you know, this is just just goes to show how we are not so different in the world.

So I'm gonna do this.

I'm going to turn the floor over to my good friend Laith Lath.

There's a section of our show it's called talk your shit.

Okay.

In this section it says, it's time for you to talk your shit.

Who are you, what do you do?

What are you proud of?

This is your time to shine, So don't hold back.

So I'll give you a little bit of example.

Because people come here and they like to come and they want to be modest, We not do that over here.

We don't do modest.

We talk about us being the first, We talk about us being the only.

We talk about the awards we've won.

We talk about how we can walk the boot and nobody has snatched over us.

We do that here because I want people to to I want to take the stigma out of celebrating yourself.

I think that.

Shit it's supposed to be therapy because I'm not used to doing that at all, I think.

And most times when people come here, they'll sit in the chair and they'll be like, I don't want to do that, And I think it's because we've been taught so much to Hey, be be humble, sit down behind no, celebrate yourself.

If you're the first to do this, and that you are, if you are the the waymaker, you paved it, you get to you hear you celebrate you So talk your ship?

Who are you talk my ship?

All right?

This is me and you look at him laithe Ashley, and I am.

You know, I'm one of those people that I feel very uncomfortable talking about about about myself or like the things that I've been successful at.

But I'm going to because we're taught to make ourselves small, and it's and stepping out of that.

You're you're told like you're always supposed to be grateful.

But you know what, I totally agree with you.

I'm going to talk my ship.

My name is lath Ashley.

I'm a singer, songwriter.

I'm a dancer, I'm a model.

I'm an actor.

I was a former social worker, so I did work on the ground with with my community.

I'm a huge advocate for racial justice as well.

I love to teach.

I'm the first trans man to be featured in a Diesel campaign, I believe, maybe among the first, if not the first, to be an Abercrombia fish campaign.

There were a lot of first I can't honestly, I don't.

I can't think of all of them right now.

But I've definitely been the first to do a lot of things, at least out in the open grace, like the cover of Attitude magazine, Gay Times Magazine and a few others.

I had some Vogue spread, British GQ and a few others, like you know, on the top of my head, I really can't again, this was she just called me.

I can't.

I just can't.

Running down and I'm like I love uts and I'm so I'm not one hundred percent prepared, but you know, I do what you do a lot.

You know what I'm saying, Well, yeah, I know.

You know who you are.

And not only do you know who you are, when people talk about trans men in the United States of America, your name comes up first.

Oh right, and Taylor Swift.

That was Taylor Swift's love interest on Lavender Hay's music video.

So that was also the first to be love interest to a huge pop star in the mainstream, mainstream pop culture.

Yeah it feels good.

Yeah, it feels good.

And it feels good because you get the opportunity to reflect back, reflect back over who you are and sometimes we get lost in the noise, and the noise is you gotta be perfect because now you know you are the first and you are the visible and I walked this line up.

I don't give up about all that.

Yeah, I don't give up bout that.

Yeah, I could be the first this and this and bitch, you get my time wrong, I'm cussing.

Yeah wow.

Yeah, And that's what the thing is like, We're human beings.

We're imperfect.

A lot of times when you are the first, or you are you do have a platform.

There's this idea that, oh, what you say is gospel, and I'm just like I'm learning like everybody else's.

Things are changing.

I'm getting older, the young kids are coming in, you know what I'm saying, Like I have to keep up as well.

So it's good.

I always say it's good to have mentors that are older than you.

It's good to have mentors that are younger than you.

Good to have people around your your age to keep you sharp, to keep you going.

Mm hm.

So I want to ask some candid questions with you, because you know, you and I have this free ball.

We feel all.

Literally, I want to ask, Okay, when did you first transition, like, because transitioning for everybody has its Again, we talk about we we I talk about me so I can make you feel comfortable.

I transitioned at seventeen, but in my mind I did.

I was always I was something different.

Yeah, I didn't know what the name was.

Yeah, I know was it was different, but I didn't know.

Like, and then when you found out what kind of name it was, it was besides faggot, yeah, besides faggot, you were like, Okay, well are you a cross dress or are drag queen or.

I was so I knew from the time I could remember around five that I was different, cause you know, people they call you tomboy, they call you all these things.

At first, I was like, Okay, yeah, I'm a tomboy.

But as I got older and keep knocking this thing, and I just observing the other kids, like I think.

I think that trans people and a lot of queer folks in general, we tend to be very like introspective because we see what's supposed to be and what we're taught is supposed to be the norm.

And when you you know internally like okay, I don't necessarily fit what I'm being told that I'm supposed to be.

And sometimes like at least for me, I'll speak for myself.

You stay quiet and you hope that maybe this is a phase and it will change.

But maybe I was like five five going into elementary school.

When I was in kindergarten first grade, the kids used to call me so my my birth name is just Ashley, was Ashley Lacruz.

I wasn't going to change it.

But because I transitioned to the public eye, that's the only reason I added Lathe to it, so now it's lath Ashley de Lacruze.

But they used to call They thought that making my name masculine then was adding an O to it.

They called me ASHLEYO in first grade, and I welcomed it.

I remember I used to change my clothes in the closet, so my mom would put like these really girly, freely like outfits on me, and I would steal.

I had a cousin that was two years older than me, and we were really really close, and I would go to his house and he would be like, oh, you can have some of my clothes, and I would sometimes he will let me have it.

Sometimes I'll take what I wanted and put it in my backpack and change in the closet and I'll have like my T shirt with the like you know, the grunge look kind of open, and they'd be like, oh, Ashley, oh ASHLEO, and I'm just like, yeah, I am, that's right.

So I welcomed it then, and it only became a problem when I started to go, like right before I went through puberty, So around ten to eleven, I was playing basketball with my dad and I remember being like We're on the corner in Washington Heights in New York.

A friend approaches him and I overheard him say, oh, you need to like, you need to be careful with her because she's getting older and if she doesn't change, there's going to be a problem.

So there was already I was hearing.

I was like, Okay, there's a problem with the way that I present and the way that I move about the world, even though this is who I am and I'm a child, and like no one told me to do as this is just who I am.

And I remember the first time I got called a dyke when I was in sixth grade.

That's when I remember I went crying home to my dad and I was like, we need to go shopping.

And that's when I instead of like going to shop in the boys section, I went to shop in the girls section to wear more feminine clothes when I was in middle school, and that happened through to like til I was fifteen, and then I was just like, I can't do this anymore.

And then I went back to wearing what I wanted dressing and like more stereotypically masculine the men's clothes.

It's a lot no, it's it's it's actually interesting because you know when we tell people out there in the world we know who we are.

It's like like like with Zaia Wade, Yeah, with that whole situation was going on, Zaia knew who she was, and everybody out there in social media was like, Dwayne Wade shouldn't make that girl, make make his son.

Be It's like he ain't making nothing like she's being she knows she you know, and.

You knew that you were more masked.

You know you were a man.

You knew you were yeah, man, And I knew.

It was definitely different from like my I spoke to like my mask of center like lesbian friends, and I would ask them, like the studs.

I was like, so, how do you feel about your body?

Like is this something that you comfortable with?

The breath?

Are you comfortable with this and that?

And they were just like, yeah, I love being a woman.

I just this is how I feel comfortable.

And I was like that's when I knew.

I was like, Okay, this is we're not this is not the same.

There's something else happening here.

So so here's where we might get a little a little might dance in a dark a little bit.

So you said you're you're lesbian.

Stud You're lesbian like my stud friends friends.

Yeah, and they said that they are more They're happy with their.

With their breast, they're happy with their their women, their body.

So would they fall into the non binary category?

Honestly?

So, I think that, again, language is always changing.

I would consider studs non binary to be honest.

I think I'm actually very happy that you're speaking about this because a lot of folks don't like admitting that.

As as we have a broader understanding of sex, sexuality and gender and sex people, we see that these lines do blur, and from what at least from my understanding of what non binary is, even we would actually fall underneath.

Yeah.

Because yes, because even though we present maybe more binary in our presentation, because of our lived experience and our understanding of our own sexuality and gender, we're able to, like, because I'm so comfortable in my skin, for example, I'm more comfortable accessing my femininity now than I was before, and like I'm like, I'll be like, hey girl, what's going on?

So I'll play around, I'll be a little bit qu sometimes it's but it just shows how it's performative because like, really, I think this is me, but I think when I'm when I'm around other queer people out I want to be like.

Give me.

But in the not in the bedroom.

There's facting out there.

That's just now we're.

Gonna get We're gonna we're gonna get to that part in a minute, you know what I'm saying.

But I'm so glad that I'm able to talk to you and you're not in a sensitive place of that because we've had guests here that are not sensitive.

But but our podcast has been going about like we get millions of views.

We get millions of views like in all over social media from people sharing the experience.

Wayne Brady came here and he talked about him pan sexual and that got like a million something everybody, but the way but the way he but the way he broke it down.

I'm I asked him what does pen sexual mean to him?

And he broke it down.

Then Monette came like, we got like one point seven million, like one point eight I don't know, like millions of views, and Monette was explaining to me what they were like they you know, And I get into these spats with people because they they don't play the whole tape.

They'll put take a piece and be like, oh, I'm mad.

Yeah, but that's just what's gonna happen because everyone, everyone wants to be and right now, it's just it's also to be angry at something because there's a I keep I've said this to a close friend.

I was like, we live in a time where like clicks matter, and even when you look at like conservative the conservative right and what they do with their podcast, the way that they're able to capitalize off of outrage.

They'll put something that where people are gonna like they're gonna click and be like, oh this this thing is gonna trigger me.

I'm gonna typeing and clicking.

They don't give a damn about what's actually going on.

It's just it's literally about how to get some some coins in their pocket and get more people to filter in to watch their content because that also that means more money.

More eyes on your ship means more money.

I think that I know.

It's just I'm gonna get a little like preachy preachy here.

They're gonna come back.

And that's the thing I don't, I can't.

I have I had to learn to not be afraid of that.

Please don't, and that's why law, but not be afraid of what people think about you, because ultimately that's a reflection of them.

I'm totally open with being called in if I'm wrong.

I'm wrong.

I'm not opposed to.

But you're not gonna it's gonna be a way.

You're gonna call me right, Yeah, call me in the right way, because if you make me mad, then none of us listening right.

While we're here.

What's your nationality?

My family's from Dominican Republic, dominic I'm Dominican, now Puerto Rican.

I'm Dominican.

You Dominican?

Dominican?

I love Puerto Rican.

Lad's one Puerto Rican.

He was Dominican.

So recently I've come under fire because I, uh, you know how I am.

Everybody that knows me know how I am.

I don't give fuck with your race, your gender, your this bitch you knock on my door and you at my door with some bullshit, I'm opening the door.

Have I said homophobic things?

Yes?

Have I said transphobiic things, yes?

Have I said racist things?

Yes?

Have I said biggoted things yes?

Have I said yes?

So I'm gonna address it.

While while while you all.

Are watching, I would say bigger than not racist, because I can't be racist.

Black like that.

But there was a guy that was reading my shade.

You know, you don't know how we trans people usually I don't know about you, but we suffer from body this morning.

Just what is it this for youa dysphoria and dys morphius.

It's dysphoria, this morphing like, so you don't know about reading me like you don't know the constant struggles I go through with my up and down weight.

Bitch their hormones and shit be having me.

One day, I'm five hundred pounds.

One day, I motherfucker hundred.

So as a woman like your body and your shape is gonna be scrutinized all the time.

You reading my shape and you know what I'm saying.

And then especially during the time when all this transaction with shit going on and you're calling me a he man and all this stuff, and you do what you know, this motherfucker came under there, right, And I don't know some of that, and so I think they were Spanish.

I don't Latin.

I don't know.

I just seen some goddamn I went on their page first, and I knew they were Latin, and bitch, I said, instead of you being under my page, you need to be under the bed because ice is outside.

Was that right?

No?

But you defended yourself.

Was that right?

Now?

Here's my accountability?

Was that right?

No?

Did?

I said yes?

And I said it because bitch, you came over here.

You don't know what I was struggling with to day.

When I'm fighting, I'm fighting to hurt you.

I'm fighting to hurt you.

Yeah, because what you said has hurt me.

Is it right for us to fight fire with fire?

No?

Because usually at times people that I'm swinging on everybody get hit.

Yeah.

My thing was y'all coming down on me that day, like I had just want undertake.

So they were just reading me, reading me, reading me, reading me, about reading me, by my body reading this.

So it wasn't just Latin people reading me.

It was black women.

You should have seen the things I said about them, motherfucking holes.

You should have seen the things I said about the fucking.

O.

The transactions that were reading me.

Everybody got it.

I mean when.

I told a sex change, bitch, pull your nuts out of your motherfucking stomach.

The next time you're talking to me puts the asshole?

Was that right?

No?

But it was not.

It was it was not me.

It was me going for what's what's going on for.

The juggular And it's just like, honestly, I'm sick and tired of people telling us to always take the high road and to turn the other cheek.

And I'm just like, while people are constantly enacting violence, I'm like, no, And this is why I was angry today.

I'm like, you come at me with some ship, I'm gonna backhand you, and then.

What And because you're not gonna beat me, No, you're not.

You're not, And especially in a street fight, I'm not to be me.

And my thing is I'm saying this on the camera.

I didn't mean it in the space of whatever.

I mean it in from the from an angry place of.

A place to protect yourself.

Yeah, Like, bro, you don't know what I go through on a day to day basis like going through the ship.

I'm over here now about to throw up taking a fucking o Zippi shot because because I hate the damn salad and it's too spoonful of saturn and I feel so.

But I feel that because I mean, I've took a little bit of a break just from from constantly like working out, because I felt that I needed to always present a certain way and have disappearance that's hyper masculine and if I didn't have that, then I'm not man enough and I'm not going to get work and blah blah blah.

And I was just like, I need to step away for a while.

But now I'm in the place where I'm like, shit, i haven't worked out in the X amount of time.

I feel small.

I feel like I'm like I have my little I'm like I feel but this is I appreciate that twisted you find.

I'm little.

I'm very little right now, and that's how I'm feeling real.

You're gonna get real big.

So I'm about to you about to get up.

I have to go back, but I want you to know I hated the fact that I have to.

Like they like they were on Reddit trying to cancel me about all this stuff that.

Had just canceled.

It's like, yes, and if you if you're watching this show and you say yes, I take accountabill.

I did say it, and when I said it, I meant it.

But I didn't mean it for it.

I don't.

I don't.

I don't support anything with ice, but bitch i'm reading.

Yeah, I don't support reading other transactions with you know, but I was reading.

It was like, bitch, you read me, let me, let me you hurt me.

And I don't.

I don't have time to be trying to pick through some nice ship to say.

I mean, sometimes they say just ignore it, but there are certain times where like that should just get me.

All day it was all day late, it was it was all day like I was.

I felt like that that you know, that meme of that girl out there swinging on.

Everybody was up.

It was like women, the women.

It's like you had to see the women.

It was all there, the women, the women, the women, the women.

They were all black.

And I said, everybody sat quiet when I was reading the Black Women to Death.

But the moment that that that motherfucking this nigga done stepped over here in the place and I hit this, Oh she's rite this, Oh she don't like, Oh she's this all up.

I'm like, well, where y'all was at when I was cussing all the black people out?

Where were you at when I was.

Voted for the motherfucker that did the thing.

Shut up now, now let's talk about it since we're here for us just for a second.

So my challenge was, while y'all was over there doing all this petitioning to cancel because I said something about this this person over here, you ain't said none to your cousin over there.

Now, your cousin needs to be held the count you told them, But you're not holding none of your cousins accountable for going out there.

I told my fucking my my family is blended.

I'm from Miami, so my brother is married.

Both of my brothers are married to Cuban women.

My brother, my nieces and nephews are Cuban Black.

Cuban.

My nieces and nephews speak Spanish.

Sometimes I gotta tell him, hey, now, god damn it, talk to you, to you in English.

But I told my sister in law, bitch, if I think that any one of y'all voted for Trump, I'm gonna call ice on y'all.

No, okay, I'm just like, because they said, well I don't, I'm like, what are you?

What is he saying?

Well, one of my sister in laws, and I was like what is he saying that you're not listening?

Your kids are black, you are also Cuban, and also your mother in law is elderly, and she she has like these people are trying to take away so many things.

What are you hearing from this man?

You know?

But she did, But I told her if she did, I was gonna call Ice on her.

I said this from me.

So if you think I'd give a fuck about somebody in my comment section and how they feel, I told my sister loud.

Is, I'll tell you.

I mean.

I stopped identifying as Latino, to be honest, why I don't.

I didn't want to identify with the words that the colonizer put on my people, so I started I identify as Afro Caribbean, so or Afro Indigenous of Caribbean is sent you know what I'm saying too, And it's just like it's it sounds like obviously for for when it's when necessary because of language and because of people's understanding of stuff, I'm going to be like, yeah, I'm my family's from the Dominican Republic.

I'm Dominican Americans, so I'm Latino because we're Spanish speaking.

But I prefer that because I'm trying to remove myself and my identity away from the people that colonize that land.

And it's the reason why anti blackness, Like when we look, we need to you know how people how who is that comedian that's always like Dominicans or meno black, meno black?

What's his name?

He's like makes fun Dominicans for not wanting to agree.

Do you know what I'm talking about?

He's like me, no black, we no black?

What the hell is his name?

Someone good?

But anyway, so I think that again people don't get the nuance, Like anti blackness exists everywhere, and it even exists in black and black culture within like especially with African migrants.

There's I went to school with fifty percent Latino, fifty percent black.

A lot of the students, the black students were actually first generation American or direct descendants of like immigrants from various African countries, and a lot of their parents would tell them to stay away from the Black American students.

Only hang out with the Latino students because you need to care about your grades xyz.

Like the Black American students blah blah, And why do they think that?

I always say American culture is media and our entertainment media that gets out to the world showcases black people as lazy, as criminal, and all this stuff dougs.

So then everyone thinks that that's what black people are, and then nobody wants to be that, including other black people, yes, and including black people of their diaspora.

So when people when like a Dominican says, oh, I'm not black, I'm Dominican again, we have to remember there's the whole culture that's tied into their identity in addition to like racial politics and that, and that gets very complicated, especially on Caribbean islands.

Jamaican is the same thing, I'm Jamaican, Like they'll say the same thing, I patient I'm you know.

But sticking to what I know is the Dominicans is anti blackness.

Anti Haitianism is very rampant because it's not a real yeah, it's just like it's really not about it's about dissociating yourself from blackness as much as possible because black means low class, it means and you want to be associated with whatever is in power, and what's in power is whiteness.

Yeah, speaking of sort of Dominican Republic and Haiti.

There's a river that separates.

Yeah, this is an island.

Yeah, I don't know if it's a river.

So you can literally just over, Yes it is, and then you're there.

Yeah, So it's crazy, so a lot of So what people don't know is that the Dominican Republic was and Haiti.

They were both occupied by the United States, but dr was occupied by the US twice.

That's why Dominicans play baseball.

People don't know that.

You always think of like usually Latin American countries, they played soccer.

We don't play soccer.

We played baseball.

Who brought baseball over America?

Did?

They also brought their racism in that?

And that and the colorism over, which is why it is the way that it is.

So the reason that Haiti is in the condition that it's in and Dominican Republic is in the condition that it's in, it has there's a little bit more movement, and folks are still impoverished, but it's not as poor and in such terrible condition conditions as Haiti is.

Because the people, the elite folks in the in the DR they played ball with the US.

And it's always the case.

I'm I'm about to get I don't know if they gonna kill me.

I's across the global South, it's always the same story.

It's the US going in getting rid of the government that's there for the people, putting in a puppet government, extracting its resources and then making the people so poor that they can't access like anything.

And then the people that state that are in government and state and like playball, they have all the riches, and then they immigrate to America for a better life, and it's just like get.

Rid of the immigrants.

I'm just like crazy, right, what the fuck is you're talking about?

Crazy?

Yeah, that's what I was like my sister in law, Yeah, I was like, girl, what the fuck are you talking about?

Also speaking of Cubans, Ted Cruz who always talks about just fyi.

He always talks about, like why he's a Republican and why his family had to flee Cuba.

They forget like the reason he fled Cuba.

The person that persecuted his father was it was Bautista, who was who was in charge before Fidel Castro, so it wasn't and who put Batista in power the United States of America.

So just fyi, he needs to get his history straight.

He don't even know he's from Cuba.

They don't even know what the fuck he's talking.

Listen.

And when we have these types of conversations or whatever, it's like we shouldn't be in a place of being sensitive about Oh I'm old, no, no, no, listen.

I've been called everything under the sun.

It ain't it's listen.

I'm built for it, but I'm also have it could be a day that comes.

I'm like, okay, bitch, not today.

I told the story on my fag talk show where I said that the very first time that I was called a nigger, hard E hard R was from Cute because I'm from Miami.

I'm from Miami, but they a white Cuban or a black Cuban too, like they were white the whiteman.

Okay, So it was just like I was like, wait a minute, I was a whole height.

Hold the fucker.

I ain't even have no white person to call me no nigger.

But I just like, hold on.

But you know, you share these stories and then the reason why the title of the show is PEC is doing us a disservice.

It's because everybody they want to dance around and not talk.

If I'm telling you that I'm sharing my experience that this has happened.

Don't brush it under the table and be like, oh, yeah, whatever you know, and then then you you sensationalize me retaliating.

I'm tired of people taking the retaliation of us and and and minimizing yeah, you know.

Yeah, at this point, I'm just That's why I'm in the point where I'm just like, if we're gonna scraplet's do it.

Let's motherfucking do it.

You know, I don't think that I'm righting with everything I do and say.

And if you, if we if we, if we sit down and we have a conversation over so you're not gonna come in the door with your bad side talking about you gonna beat me because I said, no, bitch, you're not gonna do that.

You ain't gonna do that, not with ts I keep a bad pistol revolves, You're not gonna do that.

Like I've been fighting the majority of my life.

Like you don't understand, I have been fighting.

I've been fighting men.

I've been fighting motherfucking uh uh, homophobic women.

I've been fighting white people.

I've been fighting.

I'm from Miami, so I've been fighting with down there, bitch, I've been fighting.

I have been fighting.

I have been fighting.

I think people forget like again, That's the thing race politics in the US is it's so unique to the United States that it's not you can't really relate it to other countries in the same way because how we are going to be perceived here is going to be different how we were going to be perceived outside of this country.

Like when I started identifying, for example, before I was like, you know what, I'm taking the Latino out, but I was like, I'm after Latino.

I'm you know, I'm from the American Republic.

My dad is.

If you saw my dad, you'd be like, that's a black man.

If you asked him, he would not say that.

You know what I'm saying.

Well, when I look at you, I see I see shades of negro ye.

It's in there.

There's a lot of it.

But when I remember when I went to London for the first time and I was just like, yeah, I'm black, and they were just like, no, you're not.

Really.

Yeah, they were like you're you're like mulatto, your mix and they were like, but you're not black.

So they had like their language around what somebody is.

It's always going to be dependent on the person that's perceiving you and whatever they're used to seeing.

I always yoke around.

I'm like in New York, I'm Dominican.

In LA I'm either Armenian in black or Mexican and black.

And then the airport, I'm Arab, so.

You Arab in the airport?

Yeah, they stopped mere we go.

So late.

I want to now that we got that ship out of way, don't y'all don't fuck with me with this ship no more.

I'm done with it.

And if it ain't resolved, okay, if you like me, you like me.

If you don't, oh the fuck well, I want to talk about you being fetish size.

Okay, I want to talk about that for a second.

I want to know your experiences, everybody love I'm so black.

I want to know your experiences around it, like you know, like like walking down the street or or or just you know, coexisted with you.

You're a very handsome man.

You're very handsome.

So and then to add the layer of hey, I'm a transman.

Does it become like.

There's this tends to be like questions.

It depends like yesterday For example, I went to the park with my dogs.

I always had my dogs with me, and this there was a group of young ladies like having a little Sunday picnic and they I'm literally walking by and they stopped.

They were just like, you look good.

And I was just like, it felt nice, but it wasn't.

It didn't feel fetishy.

I guess they also didn't know who I was.

Yeah, but when when people do, because I'm one of the more prominent transmen in media, it does get a little like weird and uncomfortable.

Yeah, yeah, I know, like really like gross, it gets aggravating.

Yeah, let me see or let me like, let me, let me get a taste, let me get a try, Like what the fuck am I?

I'm like your fucking sex doll puppet thing, Like like.

I want to know what it's like.

You know, find you somebody that wants to show you what it's like.

Yeah, you know, do you experience that within our.

Like yeah, like gay man, absolutely, Yeah, see I'm.

Trying to get you to correct the shield.

Then I'm going to.

Dig gay man.

It usually comes from game gay Man.

Mm hmm, okay, that's what about what about okay?

Straight identify men that you have.

You say, hey, bro, you know I.

Mean I've I've That happened to me in the very beginning of my transition in New York.

It was like this Doug dude in my building in Harlem, and he was I was coming home from uh, I hope he ain't watching this.

I was coming home from from the club with my friend of mine who was a stud, and we get into the elevator, like she's she lives a little further out from where we were.

We were partying in Brooklyn, so we took the train back up to Harlem and she was gonna stay at my place in Harlem, and he like follows us into the building and like into the elevator and he looks at me because he knew he knows me.

Also he knew he saw me growing up.

And he looks at her and was like he got his he got a New York fitted on real lowly.

It's like, so.

You got the strap.

And I was like, I looked at him, and I looked at my friend and I was like, what do you mean, Like I want you to slept me out and throw me away?

And he said this is like he was like six to two like you know, Diesel, he's a big dude.

He wasn't like this small guy.

And I was shot, Like my jaw was on the floor.

I was just like this man, just what the So he wanted you and your friend to like slut him out and throw throw throw him away?

Did you do it?

No?

I was freaked out.

I was just like, uh we this is like my boy, like, no, this is not happening.

We're going to sleep and then she's going home tomorrow.

Like that was that, and we just we never talked about it again, but I remember we like looked at each other and we were just we were just gagging.

It was I couldn't believe that that this man said that, and I never saw him again.

Did you do it?

She wants me to do it?

Have you ever thought about like like Kevin, yeah, have you done it?

I haven't.

I'm like I'm so square, like I think I've had I have a lot of like I think trauma around my body and sexuality, So like, tell me, tell me about it.

I I don't know.

I just don't feel one hundred percent comfortable yet, so like it's hot in my mind.

I'm like, oh, i'd be down to do whatever, But in reality, I'm just like, no, what so you have?

Okay?

What's It's the Angelica Ross made me understand something when we were together on her uh when we Want to Live.

But then we were on her podcast and she made me understand about to pivot back to the non binary conversation that we were having.

She made me understand because I was in hot water about that stuff, maybe a couple of months ago whatever, but she made me understand.

She said, Madison, as much as you youts, Madison, you are connected to your joint, to your dick, as much as you talk about you don't you don't have a shame about it.

It's there or whatever.

She says, how are you not understanding non binary?

And I was like, you know, it's things like that that you make people have these epiphanies like, oh, I got it, you know what I'm saying.

I mean, it's a this is a conversation that's probably like I'm going to say this, but who knows the people how people are going to react to it.

But I've had this conversation with another really good friend of mine who's a trans woman black as women.

I don't want to say her name.

But she's brilliant, very intelligent woman, and she really like checked me one day.

She was just like, in a in a world where we were going to be completely and fully accepted for who we are, there may have been like no need to medically transition, but because we need to like fit these these binaries or these boxes so that we can live and survive and thrive.

I think there's there's this not to say that there's not nuance nuanced even within that where some people do identify with the binary, Like I feel so comfortable in this body.

I feel so comfortable presenting as masculine.

I feel so comfortable and so happy that I was able to go on testosterone and able to have top surgery and have disappearance.

But then it's just like sit back and wonder like would I have been okay if the world saw me and where I wouldn't have had to do anything, and people just like, yeah, I see you, and I respect you and I get it, and other I don't think that we're just not there yet.

No, So yeah, it's a it's a broader conversation.

And even when we talk about like lowers, there's transmen that I like the guy that created this shirt for example.

This is his brand is called pussy Boy, and and I love him because I'm just like you whatever he's been through, what he's been through, and he's gotten to a place in his journey where he's so comfortable being that, and I'm just like, I wish I was as comfortable as you are that way, but I'm not.

And that makes that makes us.

That's what makes you and I different.

And I like for me to feel whole and complete.

That is necessary for him, not maybe not not so much so.

So he just likes for me like I'm in a space because there was one time in my life that I think it was pressure that the girls will tell you, oh.

You not no real, right, And I'm just like, but guess what, You're never gonna be I don't want to say, because you're still real.

You're you.

I know you're gonna you're still used.

Fine, fine, Okay, You're never gonna be that.

You're gonna be real.

So they used to be like in order for you to be real even but.

It's a survival thing.

It's because in the world in the streets, if you're if you aren't, if you're cis assumed or if you're not, if you're visibly trans or like I'm using all this slanguage, or if you if you're not passable, like it becomes that much more dangerous.

But then you step back and it's like, even if you are the most fishy, most Pasti's still dangerous.

Still they don't like you know what I'm saying.

Yes, So it's just and so when you hear like as we're prominent figures in our community, like, I love it when when I'm not recognized.

I love it when I'm able to push through and nobody don't know because it is like, okay, I'm not.

Just going about your business having a day.

It's when you know these people know and they know that you're, you know, prominent, and they say ship like when they when you because I don't know about you, lath and this is I'm getting better.

I'm getting better.

I'm getting I'm getting better.

I am We're all we're all growing and getting better.

That's what that's what being a life is about.

I try not to watch things about me.

Okay, I hate watching stuff.

I can't trying to watch stuff about me.

So I'm getting better with like releasing that ship, and so i see them on these having these full blown conversations like well if he so I'm over here, like, oh god, if he wanted to be what if he would have got his dick cut off?

If he got cut off?

That you you you So what you're saying is that I'm not real because I don't have surgery.

I'm not real.

I'm not real to your level.

And I'm saying in my brain, unto anybody else, even if I would have had my dick cut off, bitch, you're still not gonna accept it.

It's you're still not They're going to add something else like, oh, but but you can't give or whatever.

But there's a lot of misconceptions around any like any trans procedures too.

So it's just like you got to leave some people to their ignorance, some ignorance.

Sometimes it's just just like you're not if this is what they believe, you're not going to convince them otherwise unless they have a personal experience where someone in there, like someone close that they love, ends up being trans and now they have to like really come to terms with whatever beliefs they already had about about us, because like and also through the internet, like people the only times that I felt like I have been able to connect with someone that maybe had an opinion about me was in person, because I'm like, right here, I'm tangible.

You can't get away from me.

You're not on fucking internet typt typing away.

Because I remember when I first like started getting gaining prominence on social media, my first reaction was like every single negative comment I had the fucking time, bitch, I was on there, like I'm gonna convince all of you.

And I spent so much of my time, so much of my energy trying to convince these people that didn't know me to love me.

And I'm just like, they're not going to what's your saying, cancer, m that that's the activation because I'm a libra.

Yeah, And so it's like it's like I'm looking at the fairness of it's unfair that you feel this way, bitch.

You don't even know me, You don't even know me, and you got all these thousands of people watching you, you saying this step.

And so that's why I said I'm getting better.

Yeah, I mean everybody, I always tell people everyone transitions, you're just focused on ours because ours is it's so it's one, it's become a political thing, and it's something that people view as like this is a thing that's unchangeable.

But literally like no one people like I was born a man.

I'm like, no, you were born a child.

You were born a baby, and you transition into your adulthood and you taught and you because of whatever you experience in the world is the reason that you are and the reason that you view the world.

The way that that that you do similar to the way that that we do, Like we experience different things, the differences we had physical transitions.

If anything, you should be able to learn from us because our transition can help you understand your own gender and sexuality even better.

Yeah, like I don't.

I don't see it as I don't know.

I don't understand what the strength.

You can go through so much affirming, gender affirming, Yeah, they go through so much.

Those bbls.

Yeah, those bbl.

Girl, those bbls.

Yeah, those augmentations.

Yeah, those white teeth that you're down there in the fucking Spain.

Where is that, uh, Columbia, Columbia.

They also Turkey with the hairlines and all the guys, especially like the gays that are on TRT, on testosterone and y'all at the gym lifting and getting fucking buff and you're sixty years old.

Like, girl, all of that is gender affirming.

Let's let's cut the ship.

Yeah, all of that is so girls.

Stop it, Like, don't act like you don't know that you're human beings are always in a constant state of transition.

You're transitioning mentally, you're transitioning spiritually, emotionally, your.

Body age, financially.

Yeah that too.

How many times you don't went from broke the broke, the broke.

The well, I've been blessed.

I don't know, you know, there's been some scary time.

Yes, absolutely.

My thing is it's just like I hate when they act like they don't understand transition, Like like transition for us is is just bigger.

Yeah, and I think we also, I'm so happy that I'm who I am, Like, there's yes, there are certain things that are difficult about being a transperson in this world, but I feel like my perspective, it's just it's so much broader than someone that hasn't experienced this.

And again, it's just like we can all learn so much from each other.

Like I don't I don't understand what some women's issue is with with you.

You could you could teach them some things.

Listen.

The woman's issue with me is this, like they view me as a black man.

Okay, that's the issue and and their and their issue is truly with the black man.

Yeah, they don't want the black man to say anything to them.

Sorry, ladies, that's just what it is them.

The issue with a lot of black women is that they view me as a black man because somebody in this commentsat is gonna say, well, you are a black man.

You know.

Well even I'll zoom out some more and say that the reason that's so and they're blaming you, it's patriarchy.

So when we think about because black men are the victims of patriarchy as well, and also like anti blackness.

Yeah, so there's this this the way that this society has has made like made formed is that because of patriarchy, because of anti blackness, because of white supremacy, we have there's this hierarchy.

So like if black is if black women are at the bottom, then there needs to be someone that they can like stomp on or like blame, point the finger.

And I think that folks need to really like wake up to really see what's going on, and like, don't go after your own people, don't and also like really really like broaden your your scope of you the you attacking another trends a black trans women is not going to change that You're being oppressed by the same systems that are pressing.

Her, especially with her fighting against those systems.

I'm not any sister, sist, not sister, not c I A and.

I don't understand the issue.

Listen, we're gonna talk about dadd in a second.

But bitch, you gotta know what burnt me up.

Maybe about a few weeks ago, was me sitting on any Lee show.

You saw it?

Oh God, did you see the conversation around it?

Yeah, my father, father, God in heaven.

Yeah, Father, God, please in heaven.

What pissed me off?

And I know y'all out there watching gonna think it's about the straight men it likes to transit that ain't even that.

It was the women who felt the way because I told them that prep when Nini asked me, do I think that she should be she should take PREP?

And I said, yes, I think that all women.

If you sexually active, you should be you should And You're like, You're like having engaging with even if it's one partner, but you're not you know, you're not exclusive.

All honey, if you de saw to think pieces from I'm not gonna say this because if you if you would have seen the think pieces from women from women were writing that man is trying to poison our bodies.

I was like, that man hates well again so much that he's trying to poison our bodies.

That's how it comes from anti intellectualism, because there's this it's like all this the anti anti like there's a because of where we are politically, there is a large amount of people one education is like in the ship to like in the toilet, and people don't understand that.

They think now they think that everything that's medical, anything medical, is negative.

And because people are learning about, for example, like the pharmaceutical companies and how pharmaceutical companies can do whatever it is that they want to do what they want as corporations to make money, that does not mean that everyone in medicine is looking to poison you and that there's no truth behind all the science that's been done over like the course of the last five hundred years.

Right, I want to.

Play Devil's here because if you think about the things that the experience that we're done on black people, like the tuskegr you know, so it does give black people.

Yes, this is this is what there's This is why there's always nuance and all and all in all of our conversations.

You have to look at which is why.

But I'm saying like, there's there is a reason why certain populations are going to be skeptical of medical professionals, like we know, especially black women and their experience and and with with childbirth, for example, you're more likely to die or experience experienced complications than white women white women.

But uh, the reason PREP exists is to prevent HIV.

Yes, and and and white like white sis well sis, white gay men have been using PREP to prevent HIV.

So if if that you know what I'm saying.

And also PREP initially a lot of a lot of these HIV meds were made specifically for people assigned male at birth, so there was there's also again zooming out, there's a lot of a lot of things that are anti women.

So I understand women being upset and feeling like maybe, oh, people are coming into our spaces or or where we're not being heard.

But you're you're not the enemy.

Is not the enemy, I'm telling I was telling them, like, ma'am, these black women are thirteen percent of the population.

From my understanding, I'm not cent sure of the number one hundred.

I think it's thirteen percent.

Don't don't do your own research, but it was.

But it's HIV has reason fifty percent amongst black women.

So I'm telling black women over here, Hey, I'm not saying your partner is DL.

I'm not saying that your partner messages with trainees.

I'm not saying that your partner is gay.

I'm telling you that if you are sexually active, I would say this, maybe if you don't want to go to medicalizing or like taking a certain medication or drug, you can at least get tested have a conversation with your partners because this is part of the Also the work that I did when I was working in healthcare, it was educating populations that were told that they didn't need to worry about STIs and HIV.

And it was primarily it was like women and transmit which were the population that was on the rise in transmission.

So if you are a population that's on the rise and like more people are getting it.

You need to be proactive about your health care and about your sexual health.

So if you're sexually active, get tested, have a conversation with your partner.

You can go with your partner and get tested together, and then you, your partner and your doctor can decide whether or not that would be something that's appropriate for you.

Yeah, so Tamar says it.

Yeah, and then it's like, oh, well just give Tamar, which I love tamarw I do, but it's just like, oh, it's because you see me as a black man that you can't take it me telling you girl, protect yourself.

Girl, I don't know what's your I'm not saying your partner.

Wasn't that crazy?

Like was people coming for you like that?

Like for real?

Really, Okay, that's crazy.

It was.

It was quite like I'm telling you that first week after that nine Leaks interview.

That first week I was like, oh, well.

I guess you know what I mean.

Then the second week she has said, oh, third week, fourth week, it was like this that ship they're still doing pieces like these women were.

I wouldn't listen.

I wouldn't like, you can't fuck these thing pieces up.

Everybody wants.

They're fifteen minutes like, this is what the Internet has turned into.

And if you start like really trying to fight everybody that's trying to have a think piece, I'm just like you don't.

I don't be trying to fight the motherfucker hole can That's why I just say, listen you.

Some of y'all may like some shit I say something you don't know.

Well, we'll both and both in there will be okay.

Yeah, But at the end of the day, my place does not come from a place of malice.

It comes from a place of girl.

Yeah, I want you as a woman to protect yourself and that's what and that's ultimately what it is.

So it's like, if people are hating from you coming from a genuine place of care, then that's their issue.

Yeah, I love you.

I love you too.

You don't have to worry about the.

No, baby, I know you got me.

Listen, I know I need you, got you, you got yourself.

You know.

I want to talk about a situation that happened to me with a transman.

I was dating a transman.

I didn't know he was treading.

I was dying for this part and I did I did not know that he was a transman.

I really liked him a lot, and I decided to go in a different direction with my dating life because I usually fuck first and see how everything works afterwards.

I was like, Okay, let me see how everything works first and then fuck later.

So this is why we didn't.

We weren't sexually.

I did try to reach and grab and because you know, he he had his joint there in the front and stuff, so you know, it was you know, I like you know, you know you you stop teasing me.

I like me, you know.

So after it took them rushing through it, after a situation happened and the tea got out to me, I was just like, now me, of all people as T S Mass, I'm TS MASS transsection.

You a Madison.

Why didn't you say from the front, hey, I'm a transmit.

Maybe where you where you thinking that I was supposed to just know, I was supposed to ask you I want to I'm and so you didn't.

You didn't say anything to me, And and then it's just like when we were talking about sex, you were telling me how good your dick was and how you was gonna dick with me and how you was gonna fuck me from the back, and like I was gonna you was it was straight backshotting instad telling me, but I don't don't talk about your dick.

Don't you talk about yours?

Don't you say?

And I don't want to see anything to do with your dick.

And I'm like, you know, and I've been through situations with trade that's like he's not into he likes me as a girl, but he's not into the unit.

You know what I'm saying.

And it's just like I got, you know, put put her away, put her away.

I'm here further, I'm not here for that.

I'm here for everything that's okay that you have it, but I'm not here for that.

Boaa.

So I was so I thought that I was dealing with that kind of train bitch.

It was insecurity, I mean, ultimately, that's what that's what it was.

I'm like, no, he told me you can't.

I'm gonna put put your face I wanted to put you to put your face in the pill.

I'm gonna fuck you only from the back, and it's a so I'm like, what the fuck?

And So one night when it was when it all hit the fan and he pulled out his piece through the boxers.

I was like, was it a nice piece?

Or was it like thee So it was a nice piece, because if I wouldn't have looked if I wouldn't, But I'm a dick connoisseur.

I've had many dicks over the course of my life.

I've had many many dicks, and so I was like, and I have one of my own that doesn't look like that.

So I was just like girl and my bread.

He would he wouldn't let me touch you would let me, and so I was just okay cool.

So afterwards when we started talking about it, I was like, I was so angry because I'm like, bro, you could have told me this, like I would have like, you could have said this.

And my thing is I talked about it on my show and I said I didn't.

I didn't.

I didn't want to get fucked from the back with no scrap.

I didn't want no scrap to fuck me front and back.

All the trans men started to clobber me.

I didn't say I wasn't gonna date him.

I would.

We don't know what would have happened if we would have just talked about this ship.

You told me that you was gonna backshot me and my your dick was gonna be so good to me.

Why didn't you tell me that it was what it was so I could.

Have been like, I ain't look, I don't know what was going on in his head.

Obviously his statements about not wanting to see it was some insecurity there, and maybe he was trying it was he young, was he you know, young here trying to see if was he if he could he was okay, So he was trying to see if like maybe he was trying to compare and see like if you said to him that he was a better lover than like some of the disguis that you dated in the past, even.

Though I don't know that.

And so you know what I said, sometimes goes on talking.

I said, I told, I said, ship, nigga, I got enough dick for both of us.

You you're gonna get some of this dick.

But it was it was not from I say fun.

Like that.

I didn't mean it.

I just meant like you over here putting all these fucking rules down on me and telling me this.

Hell especially both trands like just be open and have a conversation about.

Prot of like you know, can I get a little bit, you know, I never I've never been intimate with female anatomy.

I've never had blissy before.

Never or wait a minute, I think about it.

I used to escort.

Some things happened, I've never it never actually worked, right.

Got you?

You weren't able to keep it keep it?

Yeah?

Right because it was film.

Yeah, she was fim her nails were running down my back outside.

I was like no, but they never meant with a tranceman, So I don't know what would have happened, Like if I was attracted to all that masking.

I was attracted to that in the bond and we had ship.

It was when when he was sucking on my titties, My motherfucking ship was So that means much.

Yeah, yeah, if he was open to that as well.

So that's the thing with a lot of folks like that are in like the T for T relationships.

It has to be compatible because some people are like, don't touch me there.

I don't feel comfortable.

Uh, especially if they're like a pre or non operative down there.

So it's just like it might work, it might not.

And sometimes people are so in love that whatever rules they had in their mind, it goes out.

Yes, it'll go out the window, because it's just like I'm like, Okay, we're here, we're here.

What it's about's see what we're gonna do the fuck you know what I'm saying.

Listen, let's see how we're gonna make this ship work.

I was willing to go in that space, but he kept telling me, oh, y'all gotta fuck you from the back.

Yeah.

So I was angry about that, like, no, you're not going So my words, my verbigh to him was you ain't fucking me with no motherfucker scrap.

And it was because of the rule, like Julie b didn't feel fair.

I have to put my face in the bed and on the looking you can't see nothing.

I don't.

I have to be intimate with my partner.

My partner got it even went right again, fucked gotta ride me.

I can't.

I don't want to fuck right from the bag.

If I have to hear him, I need to look at him.

Okay, I need to see him.

I need to connect.

We're gonna talk more about want toad out to the end of the show.

We was called I mean, I love to I love to talk about this stuff, even though I'm like, I'm.

You know, I'm very call.

It takes me out of my show.

I tell my experience because I didn't say I wouldn't have had him.

I'm like, sir, you cannot put these You can't be over here telling me, oh, bitch, you gotta hide your nuts.

Bitch, I'm not a squirrel.

You gotta hide your nuts, and you gotta put your face in the bed.

Sir.

I'm trans I'm not doing this.

I'm fifty, bitch, I'm not doing that.

No, we're not going we either gonna We're either gonna take all this ship up.

We're gonna be decking in this motherfucker okay.

Yeah, or take you you know again, have a conversation.

If you need some tickets, slow figure it out.

And if it's be naked naked, if it's here, if it's.

Up in here, and that can't pull it to the back, and I'm like, ship, i mean, cut the light off every time.

Bitch is gonna be a motherfucking goddamn sweet dream of beautiful nightmare.

Somethings gonna happen this bitch.

So yeah, I think everybody would have had a good time.

I believe it.

I think I believe it and we're gonna get on banded bitch.

But I got to say this the last part.

I think I would have cheated.

On him, okay, because you need the other thing.

I don't.

I it's what you prefer, its what you like.

I like, Yeah, but I'm not into I'm usually I dick, but I really I'm usually not.

Really intimate with the man, okay, because I know what comes along with with that.

Dig has it always been the case foolishness with all of them, at least on your experience, child foolishness, O foolishness.

And you know this was different, This connection was different.

Got it?

So the connection was there, but then you couldn't necessarily couldn't connect like in the bedroom, like there's there was something.

Yeah, because it was his rules.

His rules were because I would have been like, maybe I might have you know, I don't know, if I don't know, I might have let you think that you're gonna go in there for a second.

But you know, you never never had a little little strap, a little bit.

You didn't even let allow it to happen.

It could have been a nice stroke.

I want to come.

You need to make those I need to see the souls to come out of the balls come here.

But I would have I would have.

I don't know if he want us, if he wanted us.

I feel like that the souls be coming out.

It's just it's just probably it's different from what you used to but it's still it's still.

I don't know.

I don't know, ship I ain't.

I just I just that was my that was my experience, and I didn't I'm I don't know.

If you say, if you need to talk to to a friend of yours that can give you some insight, well shit, you know who I'm talking about.

We don't get to the end of the show that the part of the show is called band It Bitch.

So this is my favorite segment of the show.

Now, some people that are here banning drag shows, l B, l G, B t Q, plus books and even our very existence.

But we're flipping the script.

What's something that you would ban if you ran the world.

Here's how it works.

We each get one minute to make our case for what needs to go.

Let me kick it off and show you how it's done.

All right, my name is Tis Madison, and if I rule the world, I would ban people not disclosing things when it's gotten to when feelings have gotten involved.

I think people take a little bit longer than they should to disclose stuff or whatever.

You wait till feelings get involved, and then like when shit, when people start loving and things like that, and then you over here and you ain't told me shit, and then now we in a space and it's just like, now you got all these fucking rules and shit like that.

Bitch, we could have done You could have told me this up from the front, because I'm very fair.

I'm a Libra and I'm very much so like if you tell me some shit, I'm like, oh, I'm not.

You know, people hate rejection too, so I think, but you gotta get your ship together before you come into a space.

I want you to be I want I'm a woe.

So I tell more majority of my partners from the beginning.

Listen, I'm not I I can be faithful, but you got to make me faithful because I don't believe that you're faithful.

And so because I don't believe that you're faithful, bitch, I'm not gonna stop answering my phone.

That's a minute, okay, all right, that's that's hard.

So the question again, so what I would band if I.

Ruled the world.

Yeah, you don't got to be that is that?

That is what I would ban.

I would all all the political things we talked about.

My name is Leith Ashley, and if I rule the world, the things that I would ban would be by supremacy, anti blackness, misogyny, sexism, racism, all those let's see.

Uh.

You know, we tend to think like tolerance is the way to go, but I think that where we went wrong with tolerance is that we started tolerating people who are biggots.

So not tolerating those type of people and not putting them into fucking power.

I want to say other things, but you know, why not.

I don't want to go to jail.

Yeah, yeah, so late, Thank you so much.

No, we're gonna do it.

I need to do an extended talk because you know, we get we get the time.

Yeah, I want to I want to know more of the things.

Show me the photos.

I'll show you some of mine.

Yeah, you know, are you dating?

I'm not why it's hard, Like the reason that I covered before, it's just the not feeling fully comfortable like I really I've only had one relationship after I started my transition, so like I felt even pre transition, it was I think easier for me to let my guard down in a sense because when I was interacting with women, they already knew what to expect, and now because they see me and how I look, I think it's a lot of Again, I know a lot of trans guys have no issues and they go out there and I'm I'm not saying that I would have any issues, and it's not It's not necessarily the other person.

It's me.

I have to feel comfortable and whole in myself and my body before I engage with somebody else.

And it's just I'm not there right now.

Dating.

Yes, Are you sexually active?

No?

Because that Camigo's hand in hand, that's it.

Yeah, not for me, the people, like I think, let me see everyone that I've had sex with except one woman we've been in the relationship.

What do you date all spectrums of women?

Uh?

Well, my most recent X is a trans woman.

Do you date CIS women too?

Yeah?

Before that was only SIS women.

Yeah.

What's the difference between dating a trans woman and a CIS woman?

I don't know that there was a Well, are there differences.

I don't know if I can really compare it really, because there was the age difference, Like when I date was dating like my most recent CIS woman ex, I was in my early twenties, I was twenty three, and then when I started dating my trans woman she was I was twenty seven, and she was even older.

She was older than me.

She's three years older than me.

So I feel like the maturity was like, so the relationships were different, like if it's specifically about her transness or that identity, I don't think there's she was a woman the way that she moved in the relationship woman, so that I didn't really see any There was not a difference in that in that regard.

All right, yeah, are you Polly or my not definitely monogamous?

All right, well, who knows.

But I mean, I if I'm really feeling somebody, like I'll disclose, Like with my ex, like when we were having when we start having issues, I was open to opening things up at that point if she if I felt like maybe she felt that she was missing something, but I was just like so in love, So was I was we do that?

Yeah?

Well I asked those questions for all of y'alltre that likes Laith and finds Leith to be very attractive and stuff like that, because we all do, and I know that Leith tell them what they can find you.

You can find me on Instagram at Leith Underscore.

Actually the same thing on TikTok.

I'm not super active on there, but you know you'll find some little posts every now and then.

All right, y'all, this has been Outlaws for Ts Madison.

Outlaws is a production of the Outspoken Network from iHeart Podcast and Turtle Run Entertainment co created by Tyler Rabinowitz and Olivia Piece.

I'm your host, Tis Madison.

We Aren't Executive produced by Tyler Rabinowitz, Maya Howard and Tis Madison.

Our supervising producer is Jessica Krinchich, and our producers are Joey pat and Corvin Moral.

Our video editor is Tyler Rabinowitz and our sound editor is Jes crimechicch.

Our associate producer is Trent high Tower Special thanks to our producers assistant Daniel Rabinowitz.

Our theme song is composed by Wazi Merritt.

Our show art is by Pablo Montana.

Got You Next Week, Honey,