We need to talk conversations on wellness with Coast FM's Tony Street.

Hello, welcome to we need to talk.

It is great to have you with us.

Now, when it comes to having children, most of us simply expect to get pregnant right as a biological right to reproduce.

I know, I certainly did.

The alternative wasn't something that actually crossed my mind, and I was one of the lucky ones that fell pregnant easily when I decided to have kids in my late twenties.

This is not the case for many women, including Kara Lenin.

Kara is a fertility energetics coach.

I don't even know what that is, so I'm looking forward to finding out.

She essentially combines subconscious rewiring, feminine energetics, and nervous system regulation to help women conceive.

Now, when Kara decided to have children, she was told her egg quality was poor and that egg donation was her best option.

But she defied the odds and managed to conceive through IUI at thirty five, then again naturally at thirty seven.

She'd been given just a one percent chance of natural conception.

I can't believe that happened.

Karra it's so great to have you here.

So were you starting to get pretty worried, like sort of when you hit your mid thirties, thinking this might not happen.

Well, not really.

I just honestly I assumed that when the time came, I would conceive.

You know, I never had any major.

Health issues, no issues with my cycles, nothing like that, and so I had just assumed, like, yes, I was in my thirties, but I had no concerns whatsoever.

So then at thirty three.

My partner and I started trying, and we were doing all the things, and me being a typical type AI had the ovulation sticks and the apps and was doing all the timing and all that really un sexy stuff, and nothing was happening.

And it got to six months, and you meant to wait for a year, but I was just like, I just want to go and get checked for peace of mind, just for peace of mind.

I think I would have been the same and had been six months.

I remember doing a pregnancy test when we decided to start trying, and I was pregnant very first time, and I feel like I would have been outraged if I wasn't, which is such a dumb attitude.

Yeah, no, it's amazing how someone is just so different for everybody.

Right, And I went along to my GP, had some pretty standard blood work done, and he was kind of like, you need to see a specialist.

Couldn't really even look me in the eye or tell me what the issue was, just told me that my hormones were off and that I would need to go and see a specialist.

And of course, again me being you know, a type, I was googling my way through those results trying to find out what does this mean.

I basically had very high FSH and very low AMH, which basically meant I didn't have many eggs left and the eggs that I did have left were no good.

So went along and saw a fertility specialist, and yeah, I was kind of given the same response that basically my egg reserve was very low.

The quality is also very low.

Remember, she did an internal scan and told me that one of my ovaries looked like a dried up raisin.

So that was great.

And you can imagine just all of these thoughts, just like you know, running through your mind, like what is actually happening here?

What was your reaction?

I look, I was a bit of a martyr.

I have to say, I think I just came into it with quite and we'll kind of get into the energetic side of things.

But I've probably always been a bit in my kind of more masculine energy in terms of working hard, hard, work to achieve results, go go go, always busy, never resting.

You know, why are you describing me?

You know?

And so I was like, well, I'm going to prove her wrong.

You know, I'm going to prove her wrong, and I'm going to conceive naturally and this isn't my lot.

But you know, she did say, you know, look, with these kind of numbers that I'm looking at here, egg donort is your best option.

Wow.

So that definitely blindsided me.

That definitely pulled the rug from underneath me, and I was pretty shocked.

What was your husband like?

Oh?

You know, I mean he was like, baby, it's going to be fine.

And you know, I hear this with my clients.

It's like the guys, and it's great because the guys are always like, it's gonna be fine, We're going to have a baby, don't worry about it.

It'll work its way out.

We don't need all the answers right now.

And that's what I hear.

That's what Mark was like for me, and that's what I hear all the time with other women, which is great but can also be quite frustrating when you know you're literally looking at statistics in front of you, your blood work, and how it's so out arranged.

What do you mean it's going to be fine?

Look at the stats?

Yes, start telling me to get an ego.

Yes, exactly exactly.

So he was great.

He wasn't concerned.

He was like, I know we're going to have two children.

I knew I was going to have two children.

I guess I just didn't know the shape it would take from that point on.

But originally, and initially I went into it very you know, the martyr.

I'm going to prove them wrong.

I'm going to conceive naturally, because I think I always thought, you know, if there wasn't a show, I'll just get it fixed with IVF.

Right.

But your news was slightly different.

It was I was saying, you need an egg donor you're talking about somewhere else's egg exactly.

And so I had said to her, well, look, you know, as IVF an option with my own eggs, and She's like, pretty much.

No, Like, I wouldn't put you through IVF because you would probably still only get one follicle and it might not be good quality, so you'd be throwing you know, twenty thirty K down the drain.

So you're not really a great candidate for IVF.

So I was kind of like, Wow, Okay, now I really am out of options here.

Yeah, and those stats aren't great.

So but you were still convinced you were going to have two children?

Yeah, what made you confident?

Because I even I feel like I'm normally optimistic, but if I got told you're going to need an egg donor, I think I probably wouldn't have been as optimistic as you.

Honestly, I think it was again just this, just this programming in me.

We'll get to that.

Like just I've always hard worked my way to success.

I've always when I've wanted something, I've worked.

Hard and I've achieved it.

I've always you know, if I want a job, I will keep their job, you know what I mean, go after it.

And you know, at the time when all this was happening, I was working full time.

I was traveling to Europe for my job as well as Australia.

I had also started a gluten free and paleo snack food business, so I was in a commercial kitchen twice a week making it all from scratch.

I was, you know, socially very busy.

I was going to the gym five days a week.

I was just your typical A type person.

And I truly was like, well, I'm just going to do the same thing with this.

Yeah, like, yes, you're telling me this, but I just don't know if I believe it.

It was kind of my initial response.

And not to say that it didn't freak me out, because of course it did, but also a big part of me was like, you know, I'm going to do everything I can to try and have children with my own eggs first, and I think that it's possible.

I just had this belief.

I just had this belief.

I don't know why or where it came from, but I just believed that I was going to have two children.

I can really relate to that now.

I didn't struggle to get pregnant, but after I was told after my first two that I couldn't carry a third, what propelled me eventually to have my third child, Lockie via surrogacy was this innate belief that I was going to have three children.

And that is very hard to explain because I don't think I'm a touchy, fairly woo woo type of person in any way.

But I just felt in my core that I was meant to have three children.

Yeah, so I get that.

Yeah, but I then you had to make that happen.

So what happens next?

So I go all guns blazing, right, I spend six months.

I spend thousands of dollars on the supplements and the protocols and the functional testing and the superfoods and that anything, any shiny thing I could add to my online cart that would tell me I could conceive I was doing it.

Did you cut your caffeine?

Did you do that?

So I was like not drinking coffee, trying to be dairy free, gluten free, basically.

Fun free, let's face it, you know.

Yeah.

And so really my life was just solely focused on fertility.

You know, my life really shrunk down to this bubble of it's not about fertility, that I'm not interested.

You know.

I would go to.

Work half the time at work, my brain was in fertility mode, you know, And I just threw everything by the kitchen sink at this and I was like, I am going to get these eggs.

They're gonna, you know, come back to life, and I am going to I'm going to conceive, you know.

And I did this for six months, and what happened was I just hit a wall.

I just had complete burnout because I was so hyper vigilant and hyper focused on all of this, doing all of this action, taking all of this.

What else can I buy?

What else can I do?

What else is this golden ticket that's going to help me?

This magic pillar potion?

And I just I had burnout.

You know.

I was still working full time, still running my business, still keeping up with all the social engagements and all those things, and the gym and the gym and you know, all of it.

And I just really hit burnout.

And that was six months in and I think I realized at that point, like this baby isn't going to come on the other side of burnout, Like this is not going to happen.

And that is when I sort of started looking outside of the box, if you like.

And I'd always been open to other, you know, complimentary medical alternatives, I guess, and so I found a mind body fertility coach.

She was local to me, and I discovered her.

I'd actually been recommended to her by a mutual friend of mine, and I looked on her website and I was reading the testimonials, and I was like, this is why I had that gut feeling.

You know, these women and these testimonial had everything secked against them, and we're conceiving against all odds, conceiving naturally when they were told IVF was the only option, or conceiving through IVF, or through fertility treatment when donor eggs was the only option, like all of these incredible stories.

And so of course I had to meet this lady and I worked with her for the next two months or so.

So what was really interesting when I first started working with her was that we weren't necessarily talking about fertility.

So I'd go to meet with her and we would talk about what stressing me out at home, what stressing me out at work?

Why do I feel that I need to be a perfectionist all the time, Why do I feel that I need to say yes to everybody when it comes to work.

Stuff sounds like a counseling session more than fertility appointment.

Yeah, And so it was actually because how we are in life is how we are in fertility, right, So it's not you know, we often think fertilities in this little box that we need to kind of throw everything at it, but actually we are one big, interconnected system.

And so, you know, we would talk about all these different things, and we would kind of start to unwind all of these deeply rooted patterns that I had, like the hustle and grind, like the perfectionist stuff, like the high achieving and always trying to hard work my way to all my achievements and goals and kind of unpicking them and unwinding them and kind of trying to look at why am I like this?

Like where did this programming come from?

Can I ask what age you at this point?

I am thirty four at this point thirty four?

Okay, so I got my diagnosis at thirty three, just a couple of months before I turn thirty four, and so yeah, so kind of really starting to look at Okay, well, why do you feel the need to be a perfectionist and why do you struggle just to slow down and relax?

And she used a lot of hepnotherapy and emotional freedom technique to kind of start to rewire all of these beliefs that I had about myself, because what those patterns were doing was it was keeping my body stuck in a very disregulated state, and I was spending most of my time, probably decades, in a.

Very stressed state.

Right.

So with the nervous system, we have parasympathetic which is rest and digest and the sympathetic state, which is the stress state.

And through all these.

Patterns that I was playing out in my life that I sort of just had no conscious awareness of, but I just felt compelled to show up in this way, those things were creating chronic stress in my body.

And chronic stress in the body is going to create tension and resistance and depletion and contraction, and it's also going to slow down reproduction.

So when we are in a chronic state of stress, and you may not feel that you are stressed because it's literally your norm, but when you are in a chronic state of stress, your resources within your body are literally focused on survival.

Right.

Make sure your muscles are working, your heart is working, your lungs are working, and things not necessarily not necessary for survival, like digestion, like immunity, like reproduction will slow down or even shut down.

So is it any wonder if, like the woman that I work with in myself as an example, is it any wonder that these women I work with who have been decades long dysregulated perfectionists, high achievers, people pleasers, just outputting all of this energy, Is it any wonder that we start to see the physical body start to degrade in some ways and see that they have symptoms coming up or really painful cycles or diagnoses.

Even so, it's not even necessarily just fertility that it impacts exactly.

It impacts the entire system.

And this is where chronic illness and autoimmune disease comes from.

Is often comes from this dysregulated state in the body.

I feel like that's probably where mine came from.

Yeah, And it's so interesting like the work of Gabor Marte and doctor Jodaspenzer and doctor Bruce Lipton had done a lot of research in space in the space of health and well being and how closely linked our emotional state, our energetic state, our mental state, our inner safety is linked to how healthy we're going to be or the creation of disase in the body.

And this would make the statistics, It explains the stats why women are disproportionate when it comes to autoimmune diseases because women do carry a lot because often, even in our modern world, they are doing the bulk of the parenting as well as in a lot of cases working full time now and the emotional impact of having to make sure everyone is okay.

It's a lot of sense.

Exactly now that we need to talk with Tony Street.

So you go to this woman and is she doing the subconscious rewiring, the energetics, the nervous system regulation?

What did that look like?

So for me it was this unraveling, right, this unraveling of okay, So why are they Where have these patterns come from?

So the subconscious mind and the nervous system are deeply, deeply linked, right.

So from the ages of zero to seven, we are like little sponges.

We're absorbing everything around us.

We're looking at mum and seeing how she's showing up.

We're looking at Dad and seeing what he's like.

We're looking at other key caregivers and our environment we're growing up in, and we're absorbing all of these memories and emotions and imagery and all sorts of things.

And from zero to seven, basically our subconscious mind has been wired with our beliefs and our programming for the rest of our life unless we start to do this and from there that programming.

Let's say it.

Was, you know, when I do well at school, I get praise for my parents.

So I therefore am going to become a perfectionist.

I therefore and going to try hard it everything that I do, Put everything into my school week, my university work, excel in my career, climb that corporate ladder, because this is how I get my needs met because I receive love, connection, validation from my parents initially, and then as you grow older, you probably get the same from your teachers, and then your lecturers and then your employers.

And it's hard, isn't it, Because it's human nature.

And as parents, you know, if the kids come home and they've got a stificate, what.

Do you do?

Yeah?

Absolutely, don't you?

Yeah?

Absolutely absolutely?

Who knew we were creating a problem?

Yeah?

Well, I mean then there's other sides of it, right then.

It could be you know, it could be someone who grew up in a household that was quite tumultuous and there was a lot of maybe the parents were fighting a lot, and they knew to be you know, seen but not heard, and that was their way of staying safe.

So they grow up not using their voice and staying really small in life and not rocking the boat and not using not speaking up where they would want to normally, and that's their beliefs and programming coming out into the adult world.

So it's really interesting to see what gets wide into us subconscious plays out in our nervous system patterns based on what feels safe to us and the.

Reality and what it feels threatening to us.

The reality is, you look around, everyone has issues of some kinds, right Like, there aren't many people that are one hundred percent all the time.

So we all have issues, perhaps from the way we've been brought up, And that's not necessarily an issue of our parenting or the way we were parented or embosses.

It's the way we've reacted to it.

But how often do people actually acknowledge that and go, oh, that's why I react badly as an adult to that.

You know exactly, I know, and it's that fascinating connecting of the dots to really see.

So this is why I am the way that I am.

And like you say, it's not a bad thing.

I mean, my my perfectionism and you know, wanting to hard work my way through life.

It got me amazing results in life.

I was just gonna say, no, real positive to me, it's more of that.

Yes, So these patterns that we have can really be beneficial in a lot of ways.

And then in other ways, when it comes to you know, setting boundaries in life, or being in the right relationships, or you know, nurturing ourselves or you know all these other things, you know, maybe that will be depleting for our health and our energy and our well beings.

So it's not to say that these patterns are right or wrong.

It's just about how are these things playing out in my life and in particular for me working with clients, how does this look for my client's fertility journey and how is it actually depleting her.

Our parents are always doing the best that they can do, and it's never you know.

Yes, I have some clients who have had extremely traumatic upbringings and we go a lot deeper with that work.

But a lot of my.

Clients will come to me and say, hey, my childhood was fine.

I don't have any issues quote unquote, and they're not issues as such, they're just little things about the way that we believe we need to show up in life to stay safe and to get our needs met.

So how do we rewind those things?

Because I think as you get older, you become more aware of those things naturally.

Anyways, Like you know, I don't react well to those kind of things listening to you.

Now, I know I'm a perfectionist and I'm a work hard, get results type person too.

I already know that about myself.

So how do you change that?

I mean, I use a really strong combination of hypnotherapy, emotional freedom technique, and some energy healing practices, and I create these meditations, if you like, for my clients to really look at go beneath the surface levels symptoms, the surface level diagnoses of you know, what might be going on from a fertility point of view, but actually really start to look at what is the programming, where did it come from?

And when we can actually almost reparent that little girl or that little boy and actually let them know, do you know what, you don't have to show up in that way, you know what, Like, yes, it's got you far in life in a lot of ways, but now that you can see it's depleting your energy and burning you out and keeping you on the cycle of work hard crash burn, work, hard crash burn.

It's this reparenting process that I do with my clients as well through in a child healing, which kind of gives that child what they needed in that moment to let them know they are safe as they are and they don't need to throw all of their own resources out the window to achieve or to please others or to stay silent.

So in a child healing is a well known healing modality in a lot of different spaces, but it's just one part of what I do to really start unraveling and to really allow my clients to see, Oh, how interesting I'm like that because of Mum, or I'm like that because of Dad.

And it's never any blame here.

It's always an acknowledgment and it's always just an awareness.

Okay, I don't actually have to be that way.

So it starts with a conscious awareness, and then we get to integrate those changes into our life by slow, repetitive shifts that we make.

Right.

So for my clients might be like, do you know what I want you to in the morning, have that morning cup of tea or coffee and sit down for five minutes and just enjoy it.

Don't rage it, don't door, don't rage out.

The door, don't graby coffee and your stuff and everything.

And or you know what, the worst thing my clients can do is look at their phone first thing in the morning.

Just that blue light right into your eyes.

It's messing with your hormones straightway.

It's wiring you into that kind of hypervigilant, stressy feeling.

It could be you know what, I want you to go and just put your bare feet in the grass because we know that grounding again scientifically, grounding grounds your energy and calms the nervous system and reduces inflammation in the body.

Oh, just five minutes a day, or go down to the beach, take your shoes off and just be there.

And you know what, don't have a podcast in your ears.

Just be there and take it in.

Being in nature is extremely great for inflammation and reducing inflammation.

So what changes did you make when you found all of that out about yourself?

What shifts in your day to day did you make?

Yeah, so I really.

Decided to take a break from trying because I found that the trying it's almost like the trauma of trying.

It's just so the apps and the.

Yourvulation sticks and just the the you know what day of my cycle am I on, and the time sex and all.

The stuff which is so unsexy.

It puts so much pressure on the relationship and it just ends up being a really negative time in the relationship.

I had all these amazing, beautiful things I'd learned through my mind Body fertility coach, and then from that point on, I was like, do you know what, I'm gonna take six months to just take the pressure off, and I'm gonna get rid of all my apps.

I'm not gonna be using ovulation sticks.

I'm gonna say used to my girlfriends when they're going out for a wine.

I'm gonna say, used to that baby shower and actually know that that's gonna be me son.

I'm gonna say, used to those travel plans that I've put on hold because oh what if I'm pregnant, Like so many of us put everything on pause and on hold, because this futility journey just sort of seems to do that to us, like everything needs to be put on hold until we get pregnant.

And I just kind of opened up my life again.

Did you slow down work wise?

I pretty much slowed down.

I basically sold off my gluten free businesses.

I realized it wasn't work that was actually the issue.

It's how I was being in work.

So I'm not gonna have to get these ten things on my to do list ticked off.

I'm like, oh, here's my list.

I'm going to get definitely get the top three.

Anything more is a I'm not gonna I mean, I probably still do now.

But I walked fast.

I talked fast.

Everything I did was rushed.

I was never slowing down.

So those things were just I'm going to just take my time leaving my desk to go to the bathroom.

I'm going to take time making a cup of teen, having a break, and actually just I'm not going to go on Google anymore.

I just completely gave myself a Google band.

Just little things like this that just started to become my norm and started to bring all those stress levels down and kind of send this message to my nervous system that I am safe to slow down, that I am safe to relax, that I am safe to not hard work my way to every achievement in life.

Did you notice the physical change in your body.

Absolutely I did.

I noticed I was sleeping better, I was laughing more with my girlfriends.

I was, I mean, me and my partner in a much better space because we didn't have all that pressure going on.

And the thing with the nervous system as well, is that you know, the nervous system lives in the sub cortical part of the brain, right, It's below the thinking mind.

And that's why you know, it's not just about think positively or put your affirmations on your fridge and everything's going to change.

You have to actually show your body in small incremental moments that you are safe to slow down, you are safe to relax, you are safe to loob out on the couch and watch some reality TV.

You are safe to have that glass of wine.

It's not going to be the make or break of your cycle.

So I think it was a complete shift in how I was showing up, but how I was treating myself, and how I just continued to show my nervous system that I was safe doing all of these things that previously, because of my programming, my nervous system felt justsregulated slowing down.

I didn't feel comfortable just lying on the couch with a load of washing there that needs to be folded.

So through all these like small micro moments, I was really able to just shift the way I was being and how I was showing up in all areas of my life because I started to get more and more comfortable with these small micro shifts.

Yep.

So I took six months off and I was like, if I get pregnant naturally, amazing.

If I don't, let's go forward with an IUI.

And that's what you did, and that's what I did.

This is we need to talk with Tony Street.

So can you explain what IUI is and tell us how that led to you becoming pregnant.

Yes, so IUI is an intro uterine insemination, so it's kind of IVF is obviously the big guns when it comes to the medications and everything like that, and IUI is the process is basically that I was monitored daily with blood work.

As I got closer to ovulation, I was taking medication and also injections.

I was basically given the highest dose of what I could get because of my situation.

Why did you decide to go IUI not IVF at that point?

Well, IUI at the time.

I don't know what prices are now, but IUI was about two thousand dollars and at the time IVF was about twenty thousand doll Wow.

Okay, And because my specialist has said you'll probably get one follicll with IVF and one follicle with IUI, I was like, okay, let's do IUI because I'm you know, let's just see how this goes.

See how this goes.

So basically, I get monitored as I and I'm taking this medication.

I'm doing these injections in my stomach, and as I get closer to ovulation, I'm having blood work drawn every morning on my way to work.

And then they obviously can see when I'm about to ovulate.

And you get a call before one o'clock each day as you get close to ovulation that now's the time you're about to ovulate, and my partner needs to go in and give his sample.

They spin it.

And wash it and get all the best guys and then you you go on about an hour or two later and they basically just seminate you with that wash sperm or the spun sperm right up into your uterus.

Yeah, so right up in there at the perfect time with the hopes that it will do what it needs to do, that the sperm's going to meet a healthy, viable egg.

So I had a six percent chance of that working.

Pretty low odds.

I had a like, a yea six percent chance of that working.

And obviously there's that two week weight, which is so painful.

It's just like, you know, the days just go so slow.

But I really tried to just I don't want to say stay busy because I don't want to seem like I was trying to be distracted, but really just enjoy that time.

And I got the call, and to be honest, I actually got the call and I was told that it hadn't worked.

Oh wow, because my pregnancy hormone was so incredibly low, so much.

So they said, you're not pregnant.

They said, look, something tried to happen.

It was probably a chemical pregnancy.

My pregnancy hormone, I think, was like at a seven and it should have been like well over one hundred.

She's like, look, it hasn't worked.

I'm so sorry, and something's tried to work, but let's just keep monitoring you over the next few days and once it gets back down to zero.

That's when we can kind of potentially do we do another round.

So I was getting blood work drawn every second day, and as it transpires, those numbers keep doubling and tripling.

And so when did they call you back and how did they deliver that news?

Actually we think you are yes.

So after the first blood drawer, they ran me and they're like, look, your numbers have actually doubled, but it's still really low.

It's still really low.

We've still got some concerns.

Don't get your hopes up, basically, and then after the next two days they call back, they're like, your numbers have tripled now, but again it's not where it should be, so just don't get your hopes up.

And basically I think I did one more blood draw and they're like, look, I think you need to come in for an early skins and let's just see what's going on.

So it was so am I pregnant?

Am I not?

Like really uncertain time?

And so Mark and I went in for a scan and low and behold, we saw that little bean in there with a little heartbeat.

Even so I just obviously burst into tears.

Couldn't believe it, just could not believe it and had a perfectly healthy pregnancy.

Wow, that's my son, Jude.

And yeah, that was that was that part of the story.

Phenomenal.

Yeah, so you have Jude, yes, and then mister beer is waiting in the wings.

How did you get pregnant with him?

So I really wanted to have a sibling for Jude.

I was like, you know, I'm so grateful to have one child, absolutely so grateful given my prognosis, but I would love to have a sibling for Jude.

And I am nagging, feeling, not just you.

Yeah, And I'd always thought that I'm going to have two children.

I know I'm going to have two children, to be totally honest with you.

You know, those hardwired programs, they kind of raised their head again, and I kind of went right back into all the stuff I've done before.

I kind of went right back into getting all the supplements because now I'm older.

Of course, so all of those narratives kind of crept back in because now I'm older.

And my specialist had kind of said, like, if you do want to see can you need to get onto this very quickly.

So I sort of found this new wave of pressure and I got right back into my old habits of hard working my way through this, buying all the supplements, doing all the smoothies, doing all of this, cutting everything out of my life, and being really restrictive.

I actually had four failed iuis during that time, yep.

And I remember after the fourth failed IUI remember just thinking like, what am I doing this time?

That is different?

But it's different.

And so I went back to my mind body for till coach.

And so I did another sort of six to eight weeks with her and really just worked on the same sort of stuff, any lingering like subconscious belief and these patterns that are showing up and rewiring those and working on really calming the nervous system.

And worked with her for eight weeks and decided again to take another six month break because I'd really kind of got back into my old habits and was feeling pretty burnt out again.

So I'm going to do another six month break where I'm not putting the pressure on things and let's see what happens.

But basically I was preparing for another IUI yep.

So I really let go.

Of the timing and the charting and the apps and all that craziness because for me, it just was.

It was.

It was a stressful thing for me to.

Do and got back into life.

You know, we had a lot of fortieth birthdays around that time, and going to a lot of you know, catch ups with girlfriends and just living my life again, right, bringing that joy back into my life and the pleasure back into my life and space back into my life.

And I three months into that six month break, I sort of had this weird moment and I was like, I'm a few days late.

Oh okay, And then I sort of tested.

It was negative, and I was like, okay, well, that's fine whatever.

And then I realized ten days later, I still want to have my period, and so I was like, okay, it's ten days late now.

So I went and tested and that was the first positive pregnancy test I ever seen in my life.

I conceived naturally at thirty seven.

Wow.

Yeah, I mean, after being told, you know, about my prognosis and what wasn't possible for me.

It's quite incredible to really see the magic of the work of working with the internal nervous system and the inner healing of these programs we carry in these beliefs we carry, in these thoughts we carry that have that direct impact on our physical.

Body, so that there that whole experience, that journey compelled you to then make this your own.

Yes, absolutely, after I had after I conceived Beer, I was like, Okay, this is like a sign, like I had to go through this for my own growth and development, Like for starters, I'm not the same mother now that I think I would have been had I conceived Easy.

I was just about to say, what impact has that had on the way you parents?

Massive?

I think if things had to come easy to me, I would probably have gone straight back to work early.

Not that there's eithing wrong with that, but I just know, yeah, the way I was before, and I would have gone straight back home to work, had would have been in daycare, god knows what age, you know, I just would have pushed through with life.

It was just another thing that I'd ticked off and I'd achieved.

Whereas going through this journey and realizing that life doesn't just come from hard work and that actually I'd done so much like soul searching during this time and so much like it was like an awakening, to be honest, for me, it was a lot of like wow, like really looking at am I the way that I am, and not from any part of shame, but just really an awareness and a curiosity.

And now that I have my two kids, I mean, I'm by no means a perfect mother, Do not get me wrong, have my moments, but I know that I would have made different choices for them.

I know I would have made different choices for myself.

I know that I would have made different health choices for them, you know, because I know now the power of this inner work and healing.

So it's just I'm a better mother now in terms of I know what I need to do to stay regulated, I know what does trigger me with the kids, and I know that I can walk away when I'm feeling triggered, and I have the tools to come the nervous system.

Whereas before when I was just hustle and grind and get shit done, I just hate to honestly, I had to think what a kind of mother I would have been.

Yeah, I'm sure I would have been fine, but I'm just so different now.

And the choices that I've made for my children, especially in those early years and just in those newborn days, you know, like just being totally fine with a messy house and just being totally fine with the babies just sleeping on me and withdrawl all over me and milk all over me, and just being so in love with that experience and in that moment and in that moment.

Yeah, but you can't get it bad, you can't get it beat, so right, you know.

And I hadn't actually been a particularly maternal person before I went through this journey, and then I turned into a very maternal person for my own with my own kids.

Obviously I would.

Discribe as a material Yeah, yeah, And.

So it's just I truly feel that this was something that I had to go through to become the mother that I was meant to be and to find my passion and my my career moving forward now, which is fertility coaching.

And what's that like helping others, Like what's the success rate and.

How does that look?

Yeah, I mean it's incredible.

It's I mean, obviously the pregnancies are amazing, but it's not just those results that we're getting.

But you know, I had a client recently.

She had tried two or three ovulation inductions literally never got through to IUI stage.

We started working together and after a couple of months she had her first round of IVF and ended up with eighteen high grade embryos.

Wow, after having no results at all previously, and she's now twenty weeks pregnant.

It's a lot, yes, a lot of high grade embryos.

Another client of mine conceived naturally with PCOS after two losses.

Another client of mine was told she had low AMAT.

She'd suffered a miscarriage.

She was told IVF was her only option, and she conceived naturally, having the time of her life at her best friend's wedding.

Wow.

What she wasn't going to go to because it involved overseas travel.

Another client of mine was told that she would need egg donors.

Conceived naturally and always had a client who she had really high thyroid antibodies and they're in the four thousand range autoimmune condition with her thyroid, and obviously thirrowed is very connected to the whole endocrine system, which is what is very involved in our fertility.

So she had firrowed antibodies of four thousand and after three months of working together come down to eight hundred, so again still high, but such a massive reduction from where she was.

So it's just I just love sharing the powerful physical changes that happen from the internal work, because the internal work is based on science, right, It's neuroscience.

It's the science of the nervous system.

Is the science of our brain and how a brain, body and energy work together.

So I love the pregnancy success stories, but then I also see my clients shifting in so many other ways, Like they have better relationships with their partners, they are showing up for themselves in a more compassionate way.

They are shifting out of hustle and grind, and they're just slowing things down.

They are saying yes to things that they've been saying no to for so many months, and getting back out into life and having those fun moments with their girlfriends or their family, and you know, just letting go of some that tight restriction around dietary and coffee and all those things, which those things are great, but if it's causing you a lot of stress, then it's kind of working against itself.

Right.

So so many shifts on yes, the physical level with the pregnancies and the healthy births and everything, but also so many shifts happening in every ear of their life.

And I've had clients say to me more than one client who's finished working with me and we still stay in touch if they're not pregnant yet, have said to me like, I'm actually grateful that I didn't conceive before we started working together, because I'm going to be a better mother now knowing what I do and having made all these changes.

I'm going to be a better mother now than I would have been if I had conceived earlier.

And probably a better person to go through the pre see sort of things as well.

Yes, Oh, Cara, what you've said is amazing, and I feel like so helpful, not just for people that like I'm here nodding away and I've done my lot with my kids.

What would be your final message to anyone that's listening to this and going that sounds like me, I need to sort this out, whether it's for fertility or for something else just their life.

Yeah, what would your message to them be?

I would say that you know you're never out of options, you know.

I know sometimes we want to get to this stage where they've just received bad news after bad news after bad news.

They just feel like there's a dead end.

And I would just say to my fertility ladies out there, you know you're never out of options, if you are cycling, if you have a womb, if you have one functioning filopian tube, like this work can work for you, even if some of those things are compromised.

This work can work for you because I've seen it work time and time and time again.

And I think for anyone who's listening to this and thinking, Okay, maybe not for fertility but anything, I think it's just just knowing that on a fertility side of things, you have so much more power over your fertility than you've been lead to believe.

And that extends out to all health conditions.

We have so much more power over our health than we've been led to believe.

Yes, the medical community are incredible with medications and operations as needed, but we can actually take the power back and do the internal work ourselves so that things like IVF are so much more powerful and effective.

There was actually a study that was done through Harvard which was women who did a mind body connection program a head of IVF or a head of trying to conceive double their chances of success rates through a mind body connection program.

So you can imagine what it could do for all sorts of autoimmune conditions and other inflammatory conditions, health.

All of it.

So I just would really, I just already love putting the power back in my client's hands and just letting them know that there is so much at your fingertips that we can work with, that you get to take control of, and it's within your power to make these shifts internally which will always create physiological and physical changes in your body and your health.

We need to talk with Coast FMS Tony Street.

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