Oh child, you're listening in a mess.

Oh my god, it's another mess, another episode and I'm here with my ABC.

ABCDEFG Okay nine, My dear girl, I'm so hungry, Like I just we have to have like, uh like snacks.

There has to be a designated snack area for when we come in the pot because the sugar is low.

You gave me two gummy bears and I'm like, I need more now.

If you could have any snack in the world right now?

What snack I love?

Nello wafers.

Okay, okay, what do you say?

Oh that's that's such a grandmama.

Snack, nil wafers.

Is that the yellow box that's the thing they put on top of the banana put in?

I'm sorry it is that is an old snack though.

Do you start and she's.

Like the shell peanuts too?

Well waivers?

Yo, I'm trying my best.

You really like va I do?

They taste so good, especially in banana pudding.

That's the place I like them by themselves as well.

Just naked.

Yeah, are there are enough like sweetness but also kind of like savory at the same time.

Yeah, they gotta be smiling.

Some banana y'all don't.

Y'all don't get it, and it's not for you to get.

But I would love annella wafer right now, or cheddar, jollopeno popcorn.

There we go, Yeah, put it in my ryder.

That voice that you hear our snack king is Reggie Conquest.

Yaygi Conquest.

If you could have any snack right now?

What would you have?

I've been eating a lot of popcorn, so popcorn is really good.

I had the four cheeses last night.

Cheese, four cheeses, popcorn, white cheddar, cheddar, and whatever in caramel.

All in the same bag.

No, it's called four cheeses.

It's one of those bags that's like eight dollars from from one of them fancy.

What's yeah, what's the.

Brand?

I forgot the brand, but it's of it's from the fancy deli.

Okay, so we're gonna need that for the dump.

Yes, four cheeses, I've never fo that's not in my deli, and my deli is very bougie.

I'm sure caramel is not a cheese.

It's yeah, but it's something else.

It's I know, I know it's white cheddar cheddar.

What's up the cheeses.

What's the cheesus?

Goodle Oh, it's called four cheeses.

That's all I know.

I know.

I ate it.

And it's four servants, four serving, four servings.

It's a big old bag.

And I sat there and ate it.

I gave it a break and then I went back when.

You still gave it a break?

How you you left it in the room.

You got up to like wash it, and I was like, they're looking at me.

Yeah, at least gave it.

Like an hour.

Listen.

I love when you're eating like the cheddar popcorn or whatever or anything that would has cheese, and then the dust is all over your fingers and you let it.

You let it build up, and then you're like you just it off and then it just melts so good good.

That's what I loved about Cheetos because all the cheese dust is on.

I don't do that if I'm in public, if I'm outside.

Okay, no, I tilted back, which is still savvy.

Now do that again?

Ready again, crazy, No, no, we got we already got the treaty.

Wait are you are you?

Are you till head.

Back or you hand till the head back in public?

In public?

But the little the little last few little cancer crumbs.

Sometimes I go like this, I'll be out in public and you know.

But that's weird because your hands is it's sturdy, so you might as well.

You gotta be quick though, it depends on you.

You can't have them sitting you gotta go.

Second rule.

Yeah, I think it's kind of mess to just like take a whole bag of like chips or popcorn to the head.

If that's a communal snack, you should offer it to some if you alone.

If you live alone, sure, but if you're out and about, if you have chips, popcorn, candy, those are things you offer.

Gum, those are things you offer to people.

Yeah, but gum, you gotta be discreet with how you pull it out, because if you're around too many niggas, you gonna leave with less gum.

Okay, well, obviously it's not gum for the table.

But if you have gum and there's two other people next to you, you should offer.

I don't be blowing gum.

I don't be chewing gum.

No, more like to gum all the time.

But I bet the retainers that too.

But I like to blow bubbles.

I'll be in the crib twisting the bubble.

And you do y'all love how free you are?

You?

Just you know, have you always been this free?

Or is this the free issues think you've ever been?

Okay, on, take the hat off.

Yeah, I've been getting a low cut.

I love.

I love your joke about the girl who made fun of your hairline.

And then you're like, I've been wearing hats ever since.

Yeah, yeah, what did she say about your hair?

She said I was ugly without the hat on.

Looking at it, everybody is laughing in the kind.

Kind of me.

But I don't mind taking on my hat.

But I do have that always in the back of my mind.

And you were, what sixth grade when somebody.

Said this to you in middle school?

Yeah, middle school?

That just kind of follows you.

Yeah, No, middle school girls are mean.

Wool was lit that I used to go to work and do nowere I used to go to school and do no work.

So I used to always wan to school.

I didn't want to miss a fight, I didn't want to miss nothing.

So I had I had perfectly perfect attendance.

But I went to one of those.

I went to a public school that was for disciplinary We could.

Tell for the bad kids.

You went to to an alternative high school.

You went to Martin Luther King.

I already you.

Was not reading or writing.

My first high school and I had to go to Martin Luther King.

Why did you get kicked out?

That was bad?

But what like that is just too general?

Like I wasn't.

I was an instigator.

I was the guy that that the steps through some milks, fighting for some milk.

I talked about this.

I was.

I was.

I was mischievous, michievous.

I was mischievous as well.

Yeah, definitely.

Now were you a round baby like a round kid?

Uh?

Were you security heavy?

Could you?

Could you guard a building?

Did you guard building as a child?

No, I don't.

I'm not even that bit.

I mean I never said that.

I never kind of like I wish I was a big kid.

Then I'll be a big man.

I'll be sick five and I'll be in the NFL.

That is true.

I was six five, But you don't have to.

Be tall to the NFL.

Six five feels tall to play football.

No, I'll be alignment.

Oh I don't.

I feel like Reggie.

Even if you were that tall, I don't know if you would apply yourself all the way.

I wouldn't be doing comedy a football player.

I played football.

Were you good?

I was high school good?

Is a king?

High school cho the king?

That's not good.

I don't have that.

Baby.

You didn't have to do much for that.

Yeah, you were.

You were one of the only people on the team.

Well, y'all wait, you were athletic.

Yeah, I ran track, you did.

I remember, and I took Rember.

I took you for granted.

Yeah, your a c L or whatever.

That the dump.

I've been practicing my sprints.

Okay, yo.

You sucked your leg up so hard and you were you were on mushrooms that night.

Yeah, plish.

I pulled my a cl yep something.

Reggie challenged me to a race, and I was like, I'm faster than him.

But then we was like getting ready to race and I was like, yeah, but.

You dusted him so he did so serious.

It was you were Jackie Journey Cursey.

I was so serious.

And then we were in the We're in the diner.

We were eating after that, and I was like, Reggie needs to put his leg and rice and everything.

I never, I never, I never, I never shared how much pain I was in.

You were struggling.

Oh, I was crying.

I went home crying.

We know you were, Regie.

The mushrooms wore on all.

Didn't know how much pain.

I kept it a secret.

Reggie, you were limping at the baby shower two weeks later.

But those two weeks, Oh, I was down bad before I showed up to that baby shower.

Your one test one.

Yeah, that it sucks.

I was in so much pain, but still trying to have a good time.

You were like, that's that's what that's what being the man is.

I mean, and that's mess.

No, but he's masculinity, that's mess.

No, no, no, Do you feel like you got to be mainly all the time because you're a black man?

Uh no, no'm I live in Brooklyn.

You're allowed to be a little gay in Brooklyn.

Oh you can be a little gay in Brooklyn.

You can be you can be a little less manly in Brooklyn.

You could be.

Brooklyn teaches you to be a little soft.

Now, if I was back in Philly or anywhere else, No.

You're not allowed to be a little bit soft in Philly at all.

Uh No, it's all.

It's all Brooklyn, Brooklyn.

He could be soft certain parts of Brooklyn, Brooklyn, lets you be a little soft certain.

Parts about gentrified Brooklyn.

Yeah, since I've been in Brooklyn, Brownsville, Yeah, certain parts, but also yeah Brooklyn of the nineties, about brook about Brooklyn now of the transplant era, all that I've been in Brooklyn ten years, and yeah, you can be a little.

And that that's a relief for you, right, Yeah.

You do lose a little edge, though.

Why do you have to have this edge until you die?

You know, you only live for one Like are there things that you feel like you can't do as a as a man?

No?

Not now in public, not now.

But I mean I still talk to my friends that are back home and they'll say, so I'll do something.

They'll be like, whoa, that's why you got to drop them.

It's like people know you see, and that's what I dropped them.

And then and then all my thing.

You got to have a little bit of balance of that and what I am.

Now, what is there a real balance in that?

I think there is.

You gotta have some balance, you gotta I like going home and seeing my trash friends and what they think and listen to them say some fole ship.

I love that.

I can't wait for them to hear the pot his trash ass friends go back home.

It's not listening to two black women podcasts trash.

But I go home and I'm the voice of reason.

That's how you know, that's reason.

But they'm I'm wild.

You know what I mean when I say stuff?

So you know, but that's from being here and being around black women.

Listening to y'all.

I listened to you.

Mm hmm ye, applaud me.

This sounds like a setup.

Applaud you.

Yeah, if you're listen into the pot right now and you want to upload boo boo like some applause in the comments.

So wait are we Are we talking about our mess or no?

Well, I don't even know if I have mess.

You got mess?

My message that I'm really caught up in documentaries and that's how I go to sleep is with a really good documentary.

But it's it's just so fucked up.

It's like every documentary I turn on, I'm like, how could someone possibly do this?

Like I watched a.

Deadly American marriage and it was basically this this husband and wife there in the house.

Apparently everybody's asleep.

One of the kids is having a bad dream.

The husband comes in, is like yelling, arguing, screaming and so at the kid, and then he starts arguing with the wife.

He allegedly was trying to strangle her.

The dad is downstairs.

He comes up with a bat that you could add the grandfather, the grandfather, he comes up with a bat.

Sir, you hear some commotion upstairs, and you get a bat.

He gets a bat.

Okay, you know what, you're right.

He comes up apparently you know, he hits hits the husband with the bat.

All of a sudden, husband is dead.

Husband is dead.

Somehow a brick got involved.

They were smashing his head with a brick.

But then they said, oh he the husband was attacking them, and they were just it was seldom defen Yeah, yeah, not that, not the kids, but because usually the husband kills the whole families.

No, they turn it around, Yes, because you see the grandfather and it's like.

Who you fucking ups her?

Wait?

Your grandfather?

Yep, he's still alive.

The wife is still alive.

Obviously they went to jail because eventually they they went to jail because it was like, we're looking at the scene, Sis, this is not self defense.

Oh self defense?

Did he have money.

Uh, he had some money, but not like enough money to be like, oh, we want the money.

The mother wanted the kids that weren't hers.

I'm just giving the.

Whole doc up.

I'm sorry, but it's good.

It's really really good.

I'm not I'm not doing it justice.

But you have to watch because it's like, how did y'all think that y'all were going to go in the when they are doing the interrogation.

How do y'all think this is going to play out?

What era this is?

Like I think two thousand and twelve or twenty fifteen.

Yeah, if you see the scene, how y'all come up with this lies?

And where did it's brick come from?

People just going to fly with that stuff?

You just.

Yeah, crime of passion, Yeah.

Show up.

You're just saying whatever you can to get out of it.

I thought I thought I was sleepwalking an accident.

I didn't mean to do that.

We want to be the worst.

We would be the word we would be.

I said, if.

I'm hungry and we send in the interrogation and they give me a little snack, you give it up.

Yeah, let me get some trouffle fries in a vanilla milk chack and a smash burger.

I'm just I don't know.

I'm just saying like I eat and then be like I might have seen some, but I'm not.

I don't want to get to and they do.

They do, pish you off and watch Caller.

I watched Jesse Smilette and they both real.

You think there's a new Jesse one?

Yeah, but it's in favor of him, it is, it's not.

I mean, I watched The Unknown Caller and I watched did Jesse one?

And I'm like, which one of these people are worse?

That's a good thing about They are both too awful people.

But that's a good thing about documentaries.

Whenever you think you're in a bad place, put on a doc.

You're like, well, I'm not doing this.

I'm not doing any of these things.

I can't be that bad.

Who has the best documentaries?

Netflix?

Hbo?

Like, where a y'all watching YouTube?

I just started getting back in the docs, so yeah, the most.

HBO had some of my favorite docs.

Yeah, but it's really Netflix there.

Yeah the crime ones in the and the file ones.

Whereas like I'll be watching I be liking the ones about people lives.

Oh like the like thirty for thirty.

Yeah, that stuff.

Those people live.

I don't like that.

Somebody gotta die mess.

I don't want to documentary where people survive.

I need.

I like trouble.

I like I just I just watched The Dollas Cowboy Doc and Michael Irvin and that and how he was living in the nineties, like he should be dead, how raw he was, you know, drugs and party and how he was living.

But he's still here to talk about it.

I love that, But I feel like drugs and partying and sex and all that was different in the nineties, the two thousands, the eighties.

But don't you love a good story.

I love a good story.

I do love a good story.

It's scumbag story.

You resonate with that.

No, a stumbbag.

I'm not how much today's scumbag.

I'm not.

I couldn't last with those scumbags.

Back in the day they would call me soft.

Yeah, so now I'm not like that.

But I love a good scumbag.

Drugs were pure.

Now everything got fitting onl in it soon.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I wanted to start smoking vapes, but I heard they got fitting on them too.

They don't start smoking vaps.

You don't need that.

You want to of like cotton candy or bubblegum or whatever the.

Hell smoking You already have unhealthy things and you're like, you don't need a babe.

But I'm not gonna do it.

But somebody told me that.

I think they told me that to scare me out of it because.

It worked and it's expensive.

Not saying you ain't you don't have the money for vape, I'm just saying like it's a habit because once you finished, when you just go actually brought one?

What and how long does a twenty dollars vape last?

For it?

You know what happened?

It lasted a long time because I only smoked it when I when I was going through like something stressing me out.

Like I would just would go, where's my babe?

That's where it started where it start.

It lasted like four months because I would I would lose it and then be like, and I feel like I'm doing something.

Now are you vaping after you have sex?

I feel like that's yes, no, Becca, Oh okay, yeah, I would.

I feel like people smoke a cigarette.

That's kind of hard.

If somebody smoking cigarette after sex, somebody he went to jail.

No, no, no, When somebody smokes a cigarette after sex, it was supposed to be it was so good, like something to take the edge off, you know, That's.

What it was.

Yeah, And now it's it's like if you smoke cigarettes after sex?

Was like, was it even good?

Like what's going on?

It's it's like, why are you smoking in my house?

Yeah?

Where is your vapor?

I remember a girl smoked a cigar after I felt like I got all.

Big Mama, big mom.

I was like that that sounds like an older woman.

Was she just was smoking cigars?

She was like this something to take the edge off.

Yeah.

I just felt like such a bitch.

This woman sounds like she was a top.

Oh she was.

She was from Mephis.

Yes, yeah, that's some glorrilla.

She was Memphis.

Was a Memphis and she was about like she was five.

She fed you before or after she had something in the crock pot.

I just remember her pulling out a cigar and she.

Clipped it in front of you.

The Reggie had a blanket wrapped around his chair.

Scared, Marie, did you have you know?

I think it's time for me to get an assistant.

Oh, not a real assistants signed I'm gonna use chat GPT as my assistant.

Oh really, I didn't.

I just I I feel like I have a lot that I need to do, and it's to the point that like I can't even like sleep till my alarm right now.

Like yesterday I got up before my alarm.

Today I was up at six thirty at like, uh it was one thirty.

I went to bed at one thirty.

I was up at six thirty and I was in bed.

I was like, I know it's not time for me to be up yet.

And I was like, I was like, I'm just gonna count backwards from a thousand.

Does that work?

Sometimes?

It didn't work this morning, and then what And I was just laying there and I was like, well, let me just get up and do like an hour of pilates or an hour of yoga.

So I got it because I was like, I'll usually be tired when I'm doing yoga and I'll be ready to sleep on the mat anyway.

Do you drink coffee?

No?

No, you don't drink anything.

No, that's crazy.

I need everything, but I feel like I need a line of coke.

In the morning, and.

What I need coffee or pre workout.

Immediately you do coffee and pre workout.

Do you want to have a heart attack?

I'm going to have a heart Oh, do.

Not do that.

Mess do not say that on mess.

So Marie, what did you do?

I got up and I did yoga?

You did yoga?

And then what got yoga?

And then I and then I like at the very end, you like lay and kind of just like the lady, the girl's like, now my stay, So I like got I like napped for like twenty minutes yo, and then and then my alarm went off.

You meditate.

Sometimes?

Yeah, I've been trying to meditate, but my brain be somewhere else.

You have an app every single time?

Do you have a meditation app?

I found something on Spotify where it's like five minutes, sir.

You got to get you got to get like headspace.

I tried it, But my brain be, what you're gonna do when Diddy get out?

Like?

What are you supposed to Bill Costan when he died?

I mean, my brain be asking me on types of qu.

Wait, what when did he come out?

Reggie?

I don't know, but my brain be like, how you what you gonna do?

Do you owe?

Him money, Like, what do you mean when he.

Canna be random?

Bro?

You gonna do with the train?

Stop running?

Like it'd be questions.

I feel that because it's a lot.

I've been having nightmares, so souse you're watching documentaries about murder before you go to sleep, only haveing nightmares.

But you said I used to.

I used to be sound asleep and wake up refreshed, feeling good.

Yeah, the docs wake you up because I could.

I'll be watching the Doctor and you be sitting up like you'll be sleeping and something happened, you'd be like.

This be in the bed like that's how it was with the mortician.

I woke up six thirty five am and I said, oh no, no, no, no, no.

No.

I bring my laptop and I put it on the windowsill if I'm watching something, and I'll put the brightness ru low and I'll turn the volume down and be like it's just I'm being and beent noise.

But then something will happen and I'll be like what huh.

The wife was there?

My question is what is chat GBT assistant gonna do for you?

Oh?

If I say, hey, I got all of I got this, this, this, this and this to do in the next month.

What's the best way for me to do this successfully?

It'll be like, you can start with this.

I don't know.

This girl that I follow on Instagram.

She she's using chat GBT to help her post her dumps and I said, oh, am, I using chat GBT wrong.

I should be using it more.

I'll be asking the stupid as ship I saw.

Yeah, I'm worried about your day.

The world is definitely gonna end faster.

But it's not going to ask it's not going faster because of me and Reggie.

I'd be walling.

I definitely don't use GBT like I'm supposed to, but I need to.

Maybe I need I was thinking about that.

Maybe I need to take like an AI class or something.

An AI class.

No, guys, we're supposed to be fighting against AI.

We're not supposed to be leaning in.

You should ask over, you should ask chatbt how to use AI.

We need to be it's here, it ain't going nowhere.

We need to adapt.

Remember how we was in beginning with uh, I don't know posting clicks yeah, and we were like, I ain't doing that.

Now that ship is here to stay.

Now we're like.

If you're not doing it.

You're getting left behind.

You're really getting left right.

I'm in the back of the class, right.

The child is left behind for sure.

So I'm saying, we need to figure it out, we need to get with it.

Reggie, what's your mess?

Bring us in?

Yeah, what you want to talk to us about?

Uh?

Sometimes as a man, I need a man.

Sometimes that's a man.

I need a man and that and that's a mess.

I mean like, I just moved and I hired a task rabbit to put stuff together.

Say, what's your chest?

Why are you acting on coy about it?

While you Yeah, oh, I don't care.

Hey, I hired a task rabbit this time.

I put all my ship together like a real man.

Did you have movers?

Oh yeah, yeah yeah I had all that and it felt good.

I sat on the cos from my big little T shirt on, drank some tea.

So you were winning to Pooh while some man named Maxwell was putting up your shells and stuffy here is.

Here, all right?

And Reggie was like, nah, a little board to.

The left, and why you while you at it?

When you're in there, can you pass me some water?

And you need some water?

Good?

You hear some music.

Yeah, what you want to listen to?

What music you listened to when you work?

How long you've been doing this?

That's crazy.

I'm gonna take this call real quick.

You're my mommy, So you're okay?

You you?

So you don't want to subscribe to like the toxic masculinity?

When you say subscribe, it makes it sound deep.

It is subscribe when you subscribe?

What the what the toxic?

Toxic?

I can't say it?

Huh No, I can't.

Yeah, why don't you talk like that?

We we know because you went to Martin Luther King.

Yeah, you told us your story, sir.

Were you on the lean on Me school?

That's exactly That's what it is.

It was bad.

So you you want to hire a man to do a job, and you do you learn?

Do you have a trade?

Do you know how to do anything like masculine?

If I have to, I had to.

I used to put my air conditioner in every year.

I did that, Marie.

Did you do it right?

Though?

It don't matter.

It's sitting there and they didn't follow nobody to kill nobody's dog yet.

Yo.

The last time I or something together, that ship was so wobbly it'll get up I'll get it together.

But that should be wobbly.

But what was it, like a drawer, a dresser or.

Some ship you put together?

That should be the drawers.

Oh man, put together drawers.

I will say.

The instructions are messed.

They're really mess.

I remember, Oh, yeah, you put all you put all you stuff together.

Well, not me, another friend, a friend of ours, a friend of ours, a friend of ours, which is this is mess hiring your friends to do stuff because if it's a stranger, then I could talk to you very direct and then walk away and you're gonna get it right.

It's a friend.

Now I feel like I have to be a little bit more nicer and understanding and like, yeah, I.

Get my friends, like yo, nigga, what you're doing up?

But normally the thing is when you hire your friends.

I know, when I hire my friends, I'm working with them.

And that's the thing.

What am I paying you for?

I was working with him.

I said, no, this now, this is foolish.

But that's why you shouldn't hire a friends if you don't want to do nothing exactly.

Yeah, but the last time I've hired friends before and I'm working with them, but this time I was like, you know what, I don't want to do nothing.

Yeah, but if you But my thing is, if you hire a friend and you're working with them, I'm not paying you.

It seems like you're just coming over here.

Yeah, I'll get you some Okay.

Remember Marie, I had a friend helped me with my vanity and he walked in.

He's like, so what are we eating?

This walking in and asking what are eating?

You haven't even seen the hiring friends though, they're.

Like, yeah, what up, nigga?

But I'm paying you.

I feel like i'm paying you kind of.

Why did you say when he walked in and said that, I said, do you want post?

Or say?

So?

You should have you should have been like, hey, let's do some work first and then talk about food.

You just got here, take your shoes off.

My thing is why the food ain't already ready?

I mean friends, I'm coming over to put something together and food should already be Look should should You should have asked me that when you asked me to put something together.

I guess so.

But the thing is is that right, if I'm feeding you right, then I'm do I have to pay you?

Yes?

You're my friend.

You know my struggles you should be paid.

But my friend, you know my struggles.

Yeah, put the table together.

I don't have all the I don't have the full price to give task rabbit.

Anyway, we have a mutual friend that worked.

He ended up the drawer garbage.

You're away, you threw we threw it away.

The drawers put me into retirement.

Them drawers.

You gotta screw the thing.

And it got a lot like bro I said.

You gotta like lift it up and drop it down and wheel it.

And hell no.

The drawers are the reason why I was like, you know what, I can't do this because of drawers.

So maybe drawers and take down the patriarchy.

M no, No, have you ever put together a dresser or anything with drawers?

Like what's like the post whatever?

Subscribe drawers are so they're not even the hardest, but they're very annoying, and I was very frustrated.

I don't want to put anything together.

I don't they want to do it all.

I don't want to do anything.

When you get furniture delivered from certain websites, they'll they'll be like, hey, you want white glove service.

You want yes us to assemble it.

It's the extra X amount of dollars.

Yes, I'd be like, bring it upstairs.

I'm not carrying it.

I want you to assemble it, because what do I look like paying my heart arm money to bring it in and then do the work.

No, somebody else should do it and they'll do it right.

And sometimes that's the only reason you need a boyfriend.

Now talk about it, the only reason.

I mean, just the test rabbit is your boyfriend.

Technically, Reggie and my man, Man.

That's exactly how that nigga was in the crib.

How long was he up the house and how many tasks did you give this rabbit?

Two?

Okay, he did that ship quick too, because he's a professional.

So I'm sure he was like, yeah, let me heard this.

And he probably saw you and was like, I had a drill.

I got a drill.

I was like, yo, you want my drill.

He's like no, I'm good.

He was like, that's gay.

I don't want I'm not using another man's drill.

I brought my own because this is what I do.

I was hyped off her because I got that drill.

You just I've had a drill for years.

I just got that drill.

I'm told as a woman who lives alone.

I got to have my own tools, so no, not for weapons to put things together.

Yes, I was using drug.

That's that's that, you know what.

I got my drill too late?

You did because I was.

I was putting together stuff with with screwdrivers and you and I don't have the patience for it no more.

Yeah, I was using that.

I sen you went on ABVID elementary and insecure.

You using I got the screwdriver.

I got the joint where it's like it's like you pulled it out.

Yeah, I got a drill.

I just got a drill.

And I asked, buddy, did you want to use it?

He said no, he said not that little Fisher price drill you got over there?

And you said, I got a man drill.

So, Reggie, what do you do?

That's like, you know, manly.

Mainly think about you ready?

Go bill?

So I guess do you pay?

Do you pay all the bills?

Say some bullshit?

You just got laugh?

Wait?

Wait are you paying all the bills?

Oh?

Yeah?

Maybe maybe I'm not.

Maybe I'm lying.

Who gives a ship.

That's madly lying is madly That is man that's.

Not giving the full truth.

Man manly as hell yeah, I'll look you right in your face and lie.

But we know you do that.

I'd be like this, I sure.

Did just looking at your eyes.

I'm not.

You are a liar and a battle You're a bad liar, Reggie.

You look at his eyes.

That's why you wear your glasses.

When I do this, you gotta do it into the camera.

We can't even see.

You take the trash out.

To take the turn out?

Now, Reggie, what what do you think it?

It is like, what is manly?

I do think that men should take the trash out.

Yes, I agree, Yes, I don't want to do it.

I remember when my mom used to make us take the trash out.

I'd be first of all, it's I have one brother, but everybody everybody got their own bag, everybody bring it's five of us.

So if they're trash at the end of the week.

It's like, okay, everybody gets everybody's.

Bringing it back down.

Everybody, Well, me and me and my brother and my sister, everybody.

I think it should just be your brother.

Well, maybe I had to take out the trash, that's manly, but my sister had to clean the kitchen.

And that's why men don't know how to clean.

That's true because they all they do is take the trash out and then they be.

Like, what's manly?

What's what's some other man?

You know, like killing bugs?

Manly?

Killing bugs is a vibe too, it's a vibe.

Yeah.

I do like that, like killing.

But I got like these little lights in the crib because I like to leave the open window open.

So it's like this little light you plug in and a little net so if they get in, they go right there.

Show give me the love that I have.

The little gnats.

While you look and it's like all these bugs they all be captured.

Now do you act the same way with like spiders and stuff like that.

I'm with killing the bugs.

I ain't never you know, I an't worry about that.

By the mouse, yeah, into the mouse.

Mouse, Yes you do that.

That's I grew up with mice.

Yes, you grew up with mice.

We live in town town.

You know, Philly houses all.

Connected, so so we don't know about the Philly houses rats.

No, we didn't wrap outside never ever.

Field mice was the thing.

I remember one field mice.

You don't you have one field mouth?

Yes, I had one field mouse.

No, you we definitely had uh film because I always grew up with a cat, so you had to get a cat if you didn't want mice.

So yeah, I made it sound like we grew up with him, Like they was playing in the bed.

With what with mice?

I'm like they wasn't they also taking out?

I mean it's something like that.

No, no, no, no, no no.

But you know the houses is connected, and you know we had field mice.

You know, I had a mouse in my last apartment and it got stuck on a glue trap and it was still alive, and it was like, I love that, and I was freaking.

I called my cousin.

I said, hey, come get this mouse out of my house.

Yeah, my some bugs is not a problem.

I can handle that all day.

I want to see a little thing suffer, but I also don't want it.

In my house.

I'll be looking at it.

So you ever see those videos with a with a rasket caught in like a trap.

And if that's not where you paid twelve of them.

It'd be like it'd be like a it'd be like a trick door for like rats and they just keep walking.

I'll be sitting there watching all of them.

You talk about like the bucket that has they.

Got like a bucket, and they'll keep walking up.

I'll be watching this ship.

Like this is a ground they put like water or something they.

Get, or it's like a sticky trap.

It'd be like a piece of meat, and then it'll be like twelve rats that come out.

Yeah.

I don't have the same algorithm as you two come up on it or you paid either.

But I've seen the bucket.

You know what.

I don't listen.

Everything that comes my way animal wise is just very cute and fun and cutting.

Off my fun because sometimes it'd be like the dog lost, This dog was left behind by its owner.

I'n't be watching the Komo dragons fuck up the goats.

No send me that the photo dragon.

The Komodo dragons be eating the ship out of them goats.

I didn't know that that was the thing.

I love watching animals be animals online, so I'll be watching all that show.

I did see a video recently of elephant trying to have sex with a rhino.

Wait a minute, Marine, that doesn't feel like that's your brand.

What's going on?

It's not.

It's not my brand at all.

But wait, does your algorithm does say something about you.

Yes, it does basically for you page look like it's booties, booties, booties, booties.

Everywhere.

Let's see your for you page.

Yeah, let's pull them all up.

Yeah, look at it for you for you pages on the table.

Yeah, Sidney, pull yours up to I want to see what it's on yours.

It better be cute ship talking all it is.

She's not even bad see yours mine is?

No, no, no, no no no.

Everybody gets switched their phones.

Okay, how do you see it on?

Let's go look all girls.

You're looking at oh nails.

Okay, there's a girl with her tongue out.

There's a woman with her legs up.

Yes, Sidney, York for you page looks like what mine used to look like.

There was dancing, there's kicking out.

There's a guy.

There's a guy getting plastic surgery.

What's this one?

Oh, Reggie, you're trying to get something done.

But let me see.

I mean, if I keep scrolling, I can find that in yours too.

Now there's the mine is like, yeah.

Yeah, I look at I work out.

I'll be looking at.

Trying to correct your form.

What's mess is like putting stuff on your like uh, on your algorithm.

That's like not helping you.

Like I want to learn something, or I want to feel good or I want to laugh.

That's what everybody wants.

They want to learn something, they want to feel good, they want to laugh.

No, but sometimes I get into the you know, the think pieces that people are just complaining their reason.

But that's your that's your pro I don't.

I don't be I don't be caring about nothing.

What nobody's upset about.

My algorithm is bullshit.

I mean, and I pose you'll see what I post some bullshit.

Yeah, I'm never.

Maybe should be more informed.

That will that will help you.

But I feel like we trying to spend less time on social media.

Yeah, yeah, I don't even Yeah, I don't.

Yeah, I'll see something funny, I'll post it.

I'll keep it.

Moving, but you guys will get caught up with chat, GBT and AI.

Yeah, how do you help me?

How can you help me do what I'm trying to do?

Instagram is now our Facebook.

Like you know how our parents was on Facebook when when and they all got on and we were like, oh, I don't get off here.

That's that's what Instagram is for us.

Now we the old niggas and all the kids are on a whole different app, but they don't even want to be around us on TikTok.

They don't TikTok.

And it's other stuff too that we don't even know about.

So right now, Instagram is like our version of Facebook, because I know sooner than my auntsident started making Facebook.

I'm like, I'm never posting on here again.

And that's how you feel about That's how.

I feel about Instagram now, Like it's our generation of Facebook.

But I think I think we should actually go back to Facebook, because Facebook was like such a good community.

Facebook it's toxic, ye, and that is your brand, not toxic.

It's like political and like uh, scam me and fake news.

When I'm on Facebook, it's for Facebook marketplace.

That's it.

I don't check.

I don't even know where to go to check stuff.

I didn't even know you could put.

I don't even know how to delete Facebook.

I tried to delete it.

I'm like, where is the delete.

Because you need to deactivate it.

It's not deactivated.

Well, I had two pages.

I had.

There was Sydney Coco Local Washington, and then there's Sydney.

Washington Sydney Coco Loco.

Yeah, that was like, that was my alter ego.

That was like me, yeah fish.

That's when I was like, you know, partying cocaine late nights, the cool pis camera and then I'm putting all the dumps on the Facebook.

Cool picks is back.

It is back.

Let's get some cool picks.

That's what we need to We need to know that everything that people are like that's played out, it's gonna come back.

So that's why you can't get rid of it.

Well, my mom used to say that all the time, like fashion is cyclical, but now it feels like everything is cyclical.

Like people used to we used to have dumb phones, and then we got smartphones, and now people are trying to get dumb phones again because they're like, I don't need all this stuff.

I don't know when they started calling them dumb phones, because I remember when I first got a flip phone.

It was a flip phone.

No, that's what they're called flip phones.

I mean that's what they were.

But I'm saying, but they just started calling them dumb phones.

Well, yeah, that's what they's what's crazy.

I thought it was called the burner.

No, a burner or something else.

Isn't that?

No?

I feel like a burner phone is like it's a it's an alternate phone that you only use for like maybe you know business.

Or burners are for drug dealers really?

Oh, or like if you're on the run and you need a burn.

A phone and when you get off you snap it in half.

Yeah, you chuck it into a river.

You were like tracing us.

You didn't see them?

That was that wasn't Departed too, It kept snapping.

That's your movie?

I love Do you love that movie?

I love that movie.

I can watch that movie anytime.

What's the best thing about Departed?

It's just it's a good story.

It's in the movie.

What is it about?

Just watch it at White People, DiCaprio.

It's a star study, star study.

It's a great storyline.

It's Jack Nicholson at his best.

It's one of his best.

We should watch we should have a movie now, we should watch The Departed.

Okay, The Party is a really good movie.

But whenever people say such vague things about a movieing so good, it's so good, and then I watch it.

Lie, I haven't seen it in a long time, so I kind of forgot stuff.

But it's one of my movies.

It's one of those movies I just put on when I'm about to fall asleep because I know it's like, you know, like Martin, I'll put it on and I kind of know some of the lines.

And you know, town, what do you want your period?

I know, yeah, certain parts of you know, you know that's that.

That also makes me feel like a little like sad because the things that we used to watch it with keep us up at night and you know, make us feel good.

Now we're like, I'm gonna throw this song so I can go to sleep.

I'm gonna put this song so we could fuck.

Like it's just what.

Yeah, I ain't never put on nothing whatever.

That's what.

But you don't, you don't gotta you don't have to put on a certain movie.

I think the fucking just happened, Is that true?

I need I remember.

One time I put on it's a long time ago.

I put on super Bad and the girl never seen it and that ship it's funny, and it kind of kilt the vibe like she was actually into you know, you get older, you're like, oh, she just didn't want to fuck.

But that was that was a stupid.

It was so it's so if you never seen it, and it's very funny, it's distracting.

And that was I remember.

Yeah, I remember seeing you didn't put it on?

Mute brot me sitting there watching.

What's the what's the name on there?

Nick Love?

But this is Mick Loving is so good.

So this is that that you're that you can't do it.

Bro this is the hype.

This is the height of that success of that movie.

And it came to the v h S or DVD and I put that ship on.

Man, we end up watching the whole movie.

What y'all do?

Afterwards?

They about it.

She probably let me suck at titty for like two seconds and that was that.

She was like, I gotta be up in the morning.

Yeah, this movie was great.

I gotta go.

But I remember that was the last movie I like put on.

Hey guys, if you got if you're listening, don't put on super Bad if you don't.

No, my my friend said she likes to put on key and peel.

That's a that's a good one.

I mean that's you don't have It's not you don't have to follow that.

You could just but I don't know I would.

I wouldn't put on any comedy because every because camp Pill, those sketches will catch you like, it'll just beyond it.

You'll be watching, like, Yo, this ship funny as hell.

So I used to put on camp Pill, but I wouldn't put on anything comedy.

Okay, so horror I would put on.

I would put on like a drama.

Remember Antonio, he watched the whale Dude.

That is, he was crying in the back.

Her hair.

I would so I would put on the well because I'm not really paying attention to that.

You should know what I'm saying.

I will put on something drama.

Wait, what was that?

A wheel joke?

Restarted it?

No, we sa.

Grad.

You were gonna read a message for you from the listeners.

Okay, something from the listeners.

Something like a phenomenon.

For the listeners.

Okay.

So how do I get rid of my friend's ex without killing her?

What crazy title?

Hey divas, big fan?

Love you mean it?

Et cetera, et cetera.

So I live outside of Boston, and two years ago I moved in with two friends from college who have been dating for a long time.

Let's call them boy and girl.

For the story, I have always been better friends with boy, who is the most easy going, considerate man to have ever lived.

Sounds like you're on his dick.

You like boy JK.

The kind that gives us pause when we are about to say all straight men are complete trash, because he's not like the rest of them.

He truly isn't.

Girl and I have in the past generally got along grade, but we are fundamentally different people.

I have a racy, darker kind of humor.

I make fun of all people equally.

I'm very blunt and objective, etc.

She, on the other hand, is sort of a gentle soul.

Loves to do mental health check ins, mid functions, has a little psych term for everything, yeah a little bit, talks about astrology and constantly, more often than not, yaps endlessly often about her traumas to anyone who has a pair of ears in a heartbeat.

Okay, that is not me.

Long story short.

About six months ago, boy and Girl start fighting like two rats in a shoebox.

Two rats in her shoebox at a Reggie's house.

Is yeah right.

Meanwhile, I'm growing more uncomfortable in my own home due to their situation.

Girl is waiting for me to ask what's wrong, which I often do but then regret it.

Boy was more reserved, but girls weeping willow act was turning to a daily thing, and though we are friends, this started draining my energy to the point that I avoided being at home.

Damn, the house is not a home when your friend is in there from a dumping and crying.

I tried to telligently that it was becoming a bit much, but she just got upset, which is no shock since she was in no emotional state to withstand criticism.

But to be fair, she's rarely in a state to withstand anything.

You don't like this girlfriend.

Basically, usually this would make me sad, but I was so over this whole thing.

You know you overhears this.

I couldn't give two shits.

She got mad at me.

I can't help this girl, and I doubt anyone but herself can.

Anyways, they mutually agree to split up.

You were like ahew, my time has come.

They tried living in the same room in separate twin breads.

What sounds poor?

What's going on?

What's city after the breakup?

I think Boston after the breakup?

But obviously this idiotic item didn't work.

Then she moves out, and I swear it felt like Boy and I were reborn.

The vibe vacuum finally left the building.

But the gag is her new place is like a ten minute walk from ours, and since they share custody of a dog, she comes by often to drop the dog child off or to pick her up.

The problem is every time she does, it turns into an eight hour diplomatic is it?

Boy entertains her because he's a good person and still feels for her, but she started doing laundry here again.

Wait a minute, Divas.

No, anybody who's saying divas this is this is a gay man.

No, Divas is a gay man.

It's Divas.

Yeah, And I was so miserable in my own house because of that.

I still was in her for making me miserable for a long time at home.

Plus some of our mutual friends now think I am evil because I'm sick of coddling her, sad ass.

How do I get this woman to not come to my house anymore without being a dick and making her even more miserable.

I want to detox from her, but she's here three to four times a week.

Oh, I still want to be friends, But I'd be okay seeing her four or five times a year?

Am I an asshole?

What do I do?

Help live for the show?

Bring Amina back?

Love you guys are?

Yeah, I think that's a that's a gay guy.

That's a gay guy.

But mess as long as hell.

Yeah, what's your what's your thoughts, Reggie?

I don't forgot what the beginning was, living in the house they were together.

Oh yeah, I think they got to stop that dog ship.

I think white people started that.

That cold parent the dog.

I think it's bullshit.

I think it's bullshit.

I think uh, and it's steeping over to other cultures.

I hear niggas talking about it, and I don't like it.

I would never share a dog with anybody or any pet at that nature.

So yeah, that's white people ship and cut off the dog.

Stop using that as an excuse.

So she shouldn't be doing her laundry at the house.

Yeah, that's that's that.

We're cutting that right.

Oh, you know economies, You know, the economy is kind of I ain't mad at that.

I'm more mad at the dog.

People got to wash their clothes.

Yeah, but you gotta come here to wash your clothes.

Yeah, get your laundry in your house.

No, no, no, that's the community launch.

This is a private residence.

Man.

Yeah, the locks the door and mixed the lock.

My boy, I need launch or I'm gonna drop my clothes off and you wash them.

I ain't mad at the clothes washing them.

I'm more mad at the sharing the pet.

Yeah.

The sharing of the pet thing is yeah, Like, I don't know how long they were together, since they were together in college.

I guess so.

But it's kind of hard, like I'm I'm the wrong person to talk about this, since I gave up my animals.

Would you share?

Would you share a pet?

No?

Yeah, no I could.

I gave up my cats to go move to My cats were not My cats were amazing.

My cats were lovely.

They never they never left the apartment.

They weren't trying to leave.

Carolina's cat not mine yet AnyWho.

Yeah, And also I think, like I think it sounds like you don't want to be her friend.

That's really what it comes down to.

You don't like her from jump, you didn't want to be her.

You don't like her, and then but you want to you want to keep it like cute, but you don't.

You don't fuck with her in the email.

Let us know that you don't like her.

You think she's annoying, she's too in touch with her feelings.

She trauma dumps, she's annoying.

You gotta sit boy down and tell him, Hey, it's not really working.

She's here all the time.

Yeah, she don't live here.

He should tell her.

Yep.

He's got to be the one to be like, hey, girl, listen, this is not gonna happen.

Back up it we They did twin beds in the same room.

That's weird, though, Yeah, that's crazy, that's weird.

But what about the clothes, Like, I gotta wash You got to wash them at your mother's house.

You've got to find somebody else who has laundry.

I'm sorry, the relationship is over it.

To date, somebody else would have washed her dryer.

Yeah, do the work.

The work.

I would have to suck it up for that alone.

So you're giving us the girl's perspective.

I am saying the person who's coming back, you saying that you need to come back.

No, no, no, I'm saying, let that girl wash her clothes and stop sharing the dog.

But give give the clothes a few months do it like six months.

Six months, she's there.

What do you say four or five times?

What's the whole point of breaking up if you're gonna still see your ex?

You had the dog?

Ye eight hours?

Okay, okay, cut it off.

Cut it off one item at a time.

First cut off the dog.

In that time, you start cutting off the dog.

Hey, the clothes is coming right after that.

So you got to have a better idea.

Give her the dog, Give her the dog, and then cut off the laundry.

Yeah.

I think that's exactly.

Give her the dog and she could come do her laundry.

But she can she can only come wash like once a monther.

Yeah, because dogs are not like, hey, where's my other owner?

Well, they do miss them.

Don't say that that's not true.

But they don't say it.

They can't communicate it.

They can't like, they can't communicate it.

So until they learn how to communicate, that's why we need AI.

And on that note, thank you Reggie Conquest for coming in the building.

We love you so much.

Do you where can people catch you?

Find?

You?

Put?

The stuff not coming out?

Ohn't know?

Man, it's bad out here.

Man, I'm not gonna not this.

We are not doing that.

No no, no, no, no, no no.

You something on Instagram.

You was in Animal Animal cop or something like that.

What is animal?

What is it?

Animal Patrol Control?

That was last year?

My new movie that's about to come out.

Yes, you're in a new movie with Bradley Cooper.

What's it called?

Is this thing on?

Yeah?

It's coming out doing a great job.

Yeah, what are you talking about?

You book stuff?

But I'm not looks we are done.

Yeah, keep keep that for your people that we like, like here, everybody here on here is doing well.

Yes, we are doing everybody here is doing well.

Yeah.

You just went from I Can order a task Rabbit and I was like, oh, you know it's hot.

Because when y'all gave me the floor I felt those I was like no, I was like, okay, I can talk you like.

Shut up, listen.

If you're listening to this right now and you care about Reggie, you enjoyed this, send him a box of cigar.

I love you all.

Cameras, dead ass, dead ass, Thank.

You, Reggie, and as usual listening to us, keep leaving messages, love the comments and loves voicemail and just.

What are your boys?

Oh yeah, reading that was crazy.

Yeah, well, like we'll like a little.

Voicemail reading is hard.

I went to school with Phil.

That's why the kids don't do it.

Good Bye.

Mess with Sydney Washington and Marie Foston is a production by Will Ferrell's Big Money Players and iHeartRadio podcast created and hosted by Sydney Washington and Marie Foston.

Executive produced by Olivia Aguilar and Hans Sonni, super produced by Becca Ramos, edited a mixed by Brian Jeffries.

If you like your messages read on air, please email us at mess Thepodcast at gmail dot com, or call for your messages to be played at seven six three two eight zero six five eight eight