Oh you're listening to mess.

We're starting off strong.

We usually talk about our mess and then you you know, we get right, you get right into it.

So I'm going to say it right now.

I have a problem.

I have an issue.

Is space some there needs to be an intervention.

It's crazy how I'm so black and white.

I'm so police opygen she's by rage.

I was like, she's black, she's whide.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm purping too while I'm singing Wow.

Yeah, I'm really going to voice scenario outfits like Matt I know they do.

We're like K pop singers.

Always press you really?

Are you?

Really?

Are this ship?

Where's our gap commercial?

Yeah?

My milk take bring none as young this?

Yeah, it is your glasses.

Everything has Okay, wait, let's focus, let's get back here.

Oh yes, you have a problem.

Problem.

I don't know what it is, but I I once I like something, I can do it over and over and over again.

So I'm actually insane.

That's in them, right, doing things over and over and over again and expecting different.

But are you expecting anything or do you just like the thing?

You just keep doing it?

What do you what?

Are you doing the same right here?

We go, Here we go.

Why would I think having McDonald's and Taco Bell seven days in a row, yea, seven days this week.

I didn't think I was going to get it from.

But you wait, mac Donald's and Belle.

I'm going through No, no, no, not no.

Deserve McDonald's for breakfast, Taco Bell for supper, like yes.

Oh in the middle.

No, I don't do that.

I'm better than Chipotle.

The line for lunch, A line at rice and beans at a rice bowl is probably better for you than whatever you eating from Taco Bell.

Hold on, that's not true.

What you eating a cordio crunch yo.

I tried one of those for the first time, and it was you know that, that's that Campbell soup camp.

You don't even be high, you just sober eat.

Is it depression?

I don't know, babe, But it's something about the sausage biscuit with grape jelly and two hash browns got me in at McDonald's, okay.

And then when we had Taco Bell, I like two crunchy beef Supreme, Taco Supreme extra sour cream, jalapenos, and then those those little.

Donut holes donut holes from cinnabon.

You might as well Chipotle, because anything from tackle bell is the dog from the off you'll get over hasn't been hasn't been seen in years nineties.

Hey and the Gordy the Supreme.

No, she's passed at least twenty years ago.

Does you said?

Clone tyrone?

Yes, the clone Tyrone exactly.

So I I've been doing it like almost two.

Weeks, seven day, that's fourteen.

Well, you guys can count you as women.

It's hot in here.

It's anybody hot.

It's hot.

It's a high blood pressures that yeah, let strawl.

Yeah yeah, yeah, you're right while you go into these places.

So you door dish, Yeah, worse, worse.

In so close to me, all those they're so closed.

That's why I'm like, it must be seasonal depression.

The sun just started to say, we just the season hasn't even gone.

Are you here to help or hurt both?

I think in order to help, I got to hurt.

A little bit.

Yeah, okay, Haitian mom, Well Sydney, you hurt?

Is the taco bell here to help her work exactly?

I don't know when I'm eating it it it helps.

But then oh, fifteen minutes later I'm hurting many.

Oh right, it's your.

Jackie Joner, Kirsty on that ass.

It's world record, right record.

Now, remember when you were doing a hard seven times?

What level of this?

You just gonna let everybody know the range that I'm giving y'all and do both.

Wow, I don't.

There's moments where I'm like, I'm better than y'all, and I'm like, yo, I'm under y'all.

Underneath, I'm just like yo, No, it's like I got it not being relatable, and then everybody's gone message like we do not relate.

We can't, we can't relate.

And then I did the the Baja blast and it was not good.

So that's how is that the pie?

No, it's a drunt.

You know this pie?

Have you seen the It's like a blue pie?

No, what is that?

Is that?

Popeyes?

It's I think it's a taco bell thing or something.

It's like a blue It's like a mountain dew pie.

No, well, solids now, hello.

Blast pie, bring it to Thanksgiving.

No mountains solids now we are.

This is a recession indicator when when mountains making pie.

Look at that thing, it's like it's jello.

No, it's a hypnotic pie.

It's not not that.

Color is not found in nature.

No, no, no, not even in the coral reefs.

Listen, we gotta call the lorax or something.

I don't remember what his job is.

Cousin, feel like it's baha, blessed.

It's really giving, like wind decks over there.

Yeah, it's a wind deck pie, chemical cream pie.

Clean your sink, yo.

So this morning, when I was putting on my makeup, I moved my neck a certain way, and I was like, what is this chunk happening right here?

It's a chunk.

The neck is is getting chunk.

And it's because I did two weeks of McDonald's.

Yeah, it's are you getting.

The same thing every time you order from these places?

Every time?

I no switch up.

You know you never said me.

If I like it, I love it, I buy it, I see it, I like it, I want it.

I got it.

I got heard you.

I got that out.

The thing.

Who let the gout out?

I was looking up.

How do you know if you have gout?

That's the of the episode.

That's a gout out.

That's you you talk about.

We're at Sydney because.

It's also Ronald Grimace is French for gout.

Check the etymology, yes, check, check the periodic table leads the gout.

I'm literally bleeding.

I just want you to know I'm bleeding out right now.

So what is gout?

And why do you think you have?

What?

Web md?

I looked it up and I look it up and then I'm forgot.

I was like, do I have it?

And then I went to sleep.

But now woke up in the morning and it's, oh my god, I got gouted.

Well look at the gout.

I don't even okay.

Gout.

It's an inflammatory arthritis that causes certain severe attacks of pain, swelling, and redness in the joints.

Normally the big toe.

No, you didn't read that, especially the big one.

Put the biggest toes on the table.

Nike, at least clean.

Just do it.

That's very clean.

We look like profession my professional opinion.

That looks like a neck three.

You know doctor doctor Boston in the buildings and if.

Doctor a doctor calling doctor Boston boss wearing room to to forg out.

Yes, I'm you know, I got the same medical degree as arms.

Yeah.

No, wow, I feel like I got to put a hat on.

No, no, don't why wow?

Hat Okay, it's going to be even hotter.

Yeah, I know, but it's better than the sweaty hair sweating.

Okay, okay, it's not going to be Okay, you listen.

You got to break up the chaos what I have Now?

You look very straight?

Yeah, yeah, did you see how excited I got?

No, you start singing a show tune because you're so excited.

It's so straight.

He does not look like he would murder a woman.

He does not look straight.

Yeah.

When I murder a gay guy, though they like to kill too, they're lost by Murphy.

He loves every show he ever makes is about gays killing gays.

Okay, let's talk about my miss then.

Okay, okay, I started the Kim Kardashian Oh shih, that's fair.

You know what has famously zero percent on rock to make.

I don't like to trust that always, but a zero.

You gotta kind of you believe something.

If it has a really high rating or really low one.

I'm like, well now, I'm mean yeah, yeah, yeah, let me.

See because you're a messy.

Well you want to see them when they down.

I got woolo with ads.

Now, I got a little.

I sent it to you.

You did.

When I was looking up gout and then you gave me the manly you asperend and I was like our ranger impossible.

But also range, I am here to save the world him this K pop got it must again keep going?

Okay boom.

So first of all, let's talk about the clothes.

Clothing, Okay, first episode, she's wearing a business in the front song cut out in the back.

And she's a lawyer and she's a she's a partner of a lawyer.

And listen, that's that's feminism.

No.

If I want to go and get a divorce and my divorce lawyer hold.

Butt cracking out, cheeks on the chair, cheeks on the chair, that's a good title of the literally, and the way she was standing it was like wait what And then she turned to the side and it was like sis in the office, in the office, sena with your colleagues, and nobody was like why a booty cratching.

Is la oh brown?

Why nobody say anything?

And then they have NC Natch in his named slick back hats to the side.

And she's a lawyer too.

She's an investigator for the law FIR.

And if you're an investigator, you gotta have a hat.

You gotta have it, but a smooth criminals but church Lady Easter hat.

Veil tilted, was veiled royal wedding hat.

It's crazz so everybody's wardrobe doesn't make any sense.

And Glenn closes in it too, and Glenn closes in it.

And what is she She's like a sailor, She's she's.

World.

She was a funeral direction.

It's like it's like it's like suits, but the suits ain't got no back backless suit suits and quotes because it's like.

Suit suits.

It suits with a Z.

But yeah, the show is.

I watched all the four episodes that are well three of the episodes that are on, and I was like, I don't know who this is for.

It's obviously four Kim.

Yeah, because then at the at the end, I watched the credit, there's like thirty producers executive of producers Kim Kardashian, Ryan Murphy, Chris Jenner, and then every single address in the in the series.

And then I'm just like, so, does that mean they all paid, like they all put money down?

Yeah?

I think so.

I think it's kind of like a susu, you know, like it's one of those where everybody puts money in the bud, like one thousand dollars in so then everybody gets ten thousand.

They it's a can't put more than ten dollars than a thousand for sure.

Okay, she think it's that Gaga golden globe, you know, like for Gotti or whatever that well, uh, Gaga got it for Ryan Murphy show for American Horror Story back in the.

Day, which was yeah, yeah, that's really good.

Yeah, but right watching Kim try to act with Nissi and Glen are good people who have been doing it.

I'm like, this is why she went to law school for All Fair because she's not a lawyer, but she's a lawyer on She's method.

So she actually went to to law school to to to act like a lawyer when she gets in.

Ah, she did not pass.

She did not she had passed All is Fair though.

Anyway, that's well, when't you want to do just like a tiny little part when you're someone like that, come in, give two lines, get out, you know, do a scene with you don't know how to.

I know, I'm an actrror, I'm an executive.

My asses out, But that's what's so, that's what's so fund up about TikTok Yo.

He got all the supercuts of all the scenes that are just so bad with her.

They're like, what's the top ones you see?

Well?

And then Sarah Paulson's on the show.

She hates all of them.

Oh, sure, she's she's all she does is just drag them.

She calls them all these terrible names, and I'm like, you better drag them.

Drag them now.

I want to watch them, but it's hard because I want to see the suits suits.

Yeah, what's the what are the scenes that you keep seeing on TikTok Oh?

It's just like, you know, she has botox Kim Kim, so she can't move her face, but she's talking really hard to get her expression.

But it's like, you don't have one baby you have She's like, she's what what are the bags for?

Are you leaving me?

I don't understand?

And I'm like, I also don't undertand are you upset?

I want to know when Ryan was giving her the directions.

First of all, I don't know how for Jim, he's literally there, but I want to know He's like, Okay, Kim, so you're doing great, Let's let's do that one over this time.

Uh, try acting, Let's try one.

Let's do one where you at and I see you're getting comfortable.

Yeah, now let's clock in, clock in for.

Me, sweetie.

Or they just do a bunch of takes and then he's like, all right, we're gonna get this one on tape, and she's like, you weren't recording and he's like, I can tell if you're upset.

Your face looks the same and action.

Okay, guys, this if you didn't know, this is an ad by all Spare and you'll.

Have to watch All Fair in Love and War.

But every episode is a different weird issue and they try to to me, they try to be like a mix of like house, you know, like how long is that like a problem to solve.

It's like a mix of house and like sex and the city where they sit and eat and talk about something because it's.

Like girl talk.

They're like on a private jet and it's like Kimbo jewels from home.

She's wearing her own wardrobe.

She's like, I got something nice, sir.

She's dripping in diamonds that the lady threw off the Titanic.

Yea come back.

I'm going to watch it now because of.

You that.

We'll do it.

Are you watching anything, miss?

Yeah, let's see what watch what you're watching with both of your eyes.

Not to talk about work, but I'm in this play.

You do it every night and then I come home and I'm just tired.

So I've just been watching like bad reality TV.

Okay, because you just want to turn your phone on, you know, like every screen available.

Yeah, just flarees at me.

What a thousand ads in my ears?

It was.

But I've just been watching, like I watched The bake Off, I watched Survivor.

I watched Big Brother, which is like one of those that's one I've not watched.

Don't don't ever watch.

It's the ugliest because all it is is they don't have real cameras in there with them.

They have hidden cameras, you know, but they all know they're being recorded, and they're recorded twenty four hours a day or whatever, but they're just it's just people in a house and it's like hidden cameras.

So it's so ugly, like visually very ugly to look at, where you're like, well, I can't believe I'm watching this.

And then you're like, well, we're here, you gotta watch them fight seven seven episodes and you're like, I guess that's.

Yea, yeah, I guess it's beautiful.

There's no there's no cinema, you know, even bake off.

Oh look at the hills, look at the look at the grass.

Yeah, I'm pretty you know, the ugliest and they're just trapped in a house.

Now is it hidden cameras on Survivor or all?

No?

Starting in the cameramen are eating sandwiches exactly, yeah, big Hogi's right in front now.

I think everybody is starving on steck because you could feel the energy, like, you know, the cameras a little shaky as well, because you know low they got a low iron count the bar.

Yeah we're in Fiji.

Hell yeah, I've got all this equipment on me.

I'm you what does that even mean?

I got to cover my arms and my legs and mosquitoes and y'all burning rice, They burn rice.

I watched Survivor during the pandemic because Mito was like, you have to watch I want to say season fourteen, so I had never seen it.

I watched it and there was an episode where because you have to.

Like win food or something.

They give you food on some win food.

Hey that you gotta win food that does not feel as a black person, I'm not winning for.

Very hunger game.

I want to say it was a black lady took the right of my people, my people, no nobody eating, and she fully was like m and they were like the run.

We need for the week, rights for the week.

It's their taco bell.

I'm upset that I even shared that with both of you.

Love a judgmental bastard.

We didn't even probably yeah we didn't because we're.

I mean, honestly, we're so electric.

Aaron Jackets in the in the mess building.

Yeah, currently in.

A play, in a play, what is it called, It's called messy white gay.

Just it was such centered.

Yeah, it is messy white gay, messy white game and you play a white gang.

Okay, wow, really meta meta.

It's like these two guys, I'm one of them, These boyfriends kill their frontle mate and then hide them in a chest when everyone comes over for brunch.

Oh and it's satirizing these you know, these privileged white gay guys.

Ryan Murphy didn't jump on it.

I know, Ryan Murphy gotta come.

Ryan ready Ryan, Ryan, Chris can do it, so can I s Baby, I'll show chic.

You have cheek cheek in your movie?

Yeah, me and Josh throw the last in the movie.

Yeah.

And Megan thee Stallion.

Yeah, now she has cheek, so maybe cheek.

She is beautiful, Yeah, huge cheek, che cheek.

And you were like the year Obviously y'all are gay, y'all respects her and everything, but is there a moment where you're like, I just can't believe she's here.

Oh God, the whole time, the whole time, And she was there the first two days of shooting and that because she her parts small, so we shot her out fast.

So it was crazy.

We've been rehearsals and then she shows up and you're like, Okay, we're really making a movie.

Here's Megan thee Stallion.

And she was so fun, she said, everyone says that she's so nice, so nice, and would hang out between takes with the dancers.

You know, she wasn't like going back to her trailer and like I don't talk to anybody.

She was like talking to everything.

Yeah, exactly.

You called her at the beginning of the you know, of the Rise, because if you caught her in the middle.

You know, I mean, don't make an egg on dance.

She was on the island.

Oh yeah, they were throwing ass in front of Megan.

Yeah, they was throwing too in her face.

It was great.

It was insane.

I was like, yo, Megan is for the streets.

I love this.

She's just one of the people.

Is she engaged now?

We haven't been texting?

Yeah, the group chat.

Damn and Sydney to the group chat.

Oh you know what I heard?

You know, it's mess.

I heard that you can put people in your in your close friends and they can't get out.

They chapped in the close friends and they them, Yeah, you got it, you got it.

They can't get out.

Why would you want to.

Get out of close friends because some of them are bad, But you don't have to tap in when you see that green circle and people, do you do?

This is very gay guy.

People will do like consent chet close friends like do you want out?

And do like a quiz and it's like they don't care if I see your ass, I don't care.

Who even if I think you're the ugliest versus the world, you can show me your ass, I don't care.

Cares.

Oh my god, it's your ass and.

That in this well, I'm I have a gay closer.

They've never asked me.

I've literally seen a rectum in the during pandemic.

And put their dick on to know what.

That's what friends are.

I've told a friend, I said, hey, you put it on there, and I said, screenshotter just just just you know, for my.

Record, my record for but I see, I see why you.

I see why you're showing that book man and your mon I know exactly who you're talking about.

One Tree Hill and I'm not talking about the show.

Okay, so we never are.

Okay, that's one of those those shows.

I don't even know what the theme song was.

Yeah, and if you were like give me the hook, the elevator page should be like kids.

Living by a tree, little running around, no clue.

I don't know.

I know the Seventh Heaven song and I'm the Dawson Creek song.

Of course Creek song, yeah, I think it is, guess it is.

Just never even watched Dawson's c I did know the song, You're right, you know.

I always get caught up in you know, show tunes or whatever, like the the anthems and then You're just like, did you even like the show?

It was just the intro get you in, and you're like that they don't do that.

I like a lot of shows don't miss the songs.

They just start family.

Matters and all that that.

Those were good freshens.

The it's like, oh, they're talking about Steve.

He's got a rare condition and what was it?

What was the rare condition?

Girl?

A little bit of is that rare?

Maybe?

Maybe?

Ye?

Well, they didn't have a word for it.

Steve broke down the walls, right, so they.

The fact that they never locked the door to their house.

He was always just there.

Yeah, so it seems like you guys kind of wondered it.

You kind of like, yeah, but whose friend was Steve?

Steve was their close friend and they were trapped.

They were on the green bubble, they were and they wanted.

You should try that.

Winslow, wins you.

Get our African American television correct officer.

Winslow.

I don't want to lie.

Aaron.

When I first saw your name on the paper, I thought I had a black man.

Oh yeah, yeah, I said, a black man.

Be fair.

We have a black friend.

Her name is Aaron Jackson.

I had.

When I used to teach improv, I had a black student, Aaron Jackson.

Maybe he's to say Aaron Jackson, Yeah, this.

Was a boy.

Uh present.

At the time the time, we have no idea.

Now you know that it is also a rare condition to stay age, Aaron.

How is it being on a play though?

It's really fun?

You know.

I went to theater school.

Oh you did, yeah back in the day, so this was like school.

It's called Boston Conservatory.

So you were planning to be poor precise.

And then I moved here and was like, I'm going to do plays.

I'm going to be I'm going to be Broadway star.

And then I was like I'm over it, and then got into comedy because that's where the money is.

Yeah, improv, you got'm getting into comedy to where the money is.

You said, I'm getting into comedy.

You're like comedy in big air quotes and uh yeah.

And then but then got back, you know, got back to my roots.

I would like to do a play.

You'd be great, you would.

It's fun.

It is plays a cuy crazy to do it, like, because you eight times a week, that's what you're gonna lose.

You're like Mondays off.

Usually Mondays are off.

We're weirdly off Tuesdays, but we do want to they're doing something different.

They're a little different.

They're killing their threat ale.

Bait every time.

You're triggering me just a little bit.

Yeah, well we got to see the play on.

You can't even go on, get your tacos.

Come on the Wednesday when they're running through you, she said, you're stepping out.

To use the restaurant.

Yeah, don't want to.

You gotta go to the bathroom, says I didn't have taco this morning, so you would.

So you enjoy doing something.

Eight.

What I like is I liked having like any sort of consistent job, because I haven't in ten thousand years or maybe ever.

I mean waiting tables probably last time I was like, here we go, you know, so that is like also it ends, it ends in January, so there's like a there's like a ton nole.

Okay, you know, I'm like, okay, I only got to do this until then.

If this was like you're doing it for a year, I think that would be really those people that do that that it's done like Chicago for one hundred years.

I'm like, y'eall are brave, right, but don't they switch out to people though?

Yeah, but like some people in the ensemble or whatever will stay what You'll just like keep gigging, honey, roadway is hard.

I checked it.

It is.

It's like, uh, please understand, I'm not calling myself an athlete, but it's like, oh, this is like conditioning.

Like you're like, oh, I can't do that tonight because tomorrow I got to do the show.

So it's like I can't like, you know, go out and be loud.

I had discipline, discipline.

Oh I don't know if I could do a plane.

You need you need a limited run.

You're disciplined for four weeks, you know, like when they popp it.

Like remember Queen Latifa was in Chicago and e Palmer was in Chicago.

All the random housewives are.

Like Chicka, like yeah, exactly, get in, get out, Yeah yeah yeah yeah, limited run.

But it's it is fun.

And then the other thing that's weird too is like you know, in comedy, if an audience is going weird, let me change it up.

Oh oh they like this, I'll.

Lean into that more.

It's like, oh they don't like you know, you're if they're not into it.

You're like, well, this is the play well too well.

And an intermission.

Ours is no intermission, only eighty minutes, so come see it.

I should come see you.

Yeah, we'll get that good day.

Yeah, I'll get you'll tickets were press?

Yeah, got microphones in your face?

Rest, bress breast.

That's what we are are You know what's not mess?

Giving people tickets to come see you for free?

That chic that is that's fashion week.

That's Alan, Yeah, that's that's frog frog.

I do you know?

Okay, this is this is a mess.

For this then I do believe obviously you you got some comps, the Tooto comps out.

But I'm like, hey, I've seen people spend five hundred dollars, six hundred hundred dollars for all of these celebrities.

You don't want to pay twenty dollars for a ticket for a friend.

I know you're not gonna be on the list in no, no, no, it's crazy.

Yes, I'll take the ticket a ticket.

I'm just saying I wrote a I wrote a book one time, and you know a book when it comes out, it's like twenty sent to us.

And where is my.

Let me say, you have to watch the celebrity notation the movie.

But it's like, it's twenty five dollars.

You know whatever?

What book is new?

I get expensive, but.

My friend is my friend said to me, He's like, I'm gonna wait till it comes out in paperback, so it's cheaper.

I'm like, girl in front of you.

Yes to my I was like, I've seen you.

In ten thousand things that are one hundred dollars, but also twenty five dollars?

Is not the cocktail me with a marketing anyway?

Yeah, exactly, that's a drink at the soul.

It's a rare condition.

That's twenty five dollar dollars.

In saying that out loud is you'll be like, well, are you what's going on?

Do you do?

You need me to vemo?

You're like, what the hell is it?

The shutdown?

It is that the government shut down.

So what's the difference between the hardcover?

It's probably what six dollars?

Now you're paying nineteen save that.

Wow, that's a subway, right, you know what.

I don't even really want to drag them like that because some people really need six dollars.

But after tax, you're still playing like twenty one wow.

You you really know if you're a mathematician, to have a cheap mother frugal, frugal, there's a different mom.

There's a different differen can't we can't be mad at people who are like, hey.

This is what I budgeted for the week exactly, and this is above the budget, right, and I want to stick to it.

I mean to be fair.

Yes, my mom had three kids and a husband, so basically fourrees, basically four years.

Yeah, so yeah, she coulip in them coupons.

I had put it back and didn't write the list was in her head.

Oh wow, which is crazy because I can't remember anything when I happened.

And your mom didn't even smoke weed?

No, well yeah right yes, not on the record.

No never.

If my mother smoked weed, she'd be a cooler mom.

Oh man, I mean, does we make everybody cool?

No?

Way to paranoid and delayed and weird.

If I was gonna go home for Thanksgiving, I would I would low dose my mom sneak.

Put a little tincture in the you would turn yes, which.

Giggly tonight.

My mom's like Bill Cosby, is that what do you think that's what he was doing?

No?

Not nothing.

Listen, let's stay on, Yeah, tell us what you're I was like, let's.

Say this is this one's kind of boring.

But so my I have an old ass building.

It's from like whatever, nineteen twelve or something.

We're making it Titanic times from the Titanic.

But they've updated the hard keys, They've turned to electronic keys.

Love that, but none of them ever work.

So you're always having to call and they want you to download an app an app store.

This is not like a fancy you know, I'm not living in the this is an old ass building, but you know, with mold on.

The wall, updated with technology exactly.

Very strange.

But the fun thing about it is is it's like it builds community because now everyone in the building is like, what the fuck is going you know, like get this motherfucker.

So that's you're meeting your neighbors rage.

There's no better way to beat your neighbors than to all be pissed at your landlord.

I'll be pissed at the landlord collection.

And uh, you know, I got a husband and he's like, I'm trying to get out there.

I'm trying to get everybody to sign a petition you're change the doorback, you have to change the or like to have a false key whatever another key.

But you know, we're all gonna we're gonna be a union.

That's that's see, that's a different type of husband, because most of the husbands don't know how to do anything.

But now he's he's I'm the one that I'm not.

You're that Oh yes, yeah, theater exactly.

For this.

You like to go on stage and squak.

Yeah.

Literally.

I was like, I'm gonna need an example.

Show the people, show the people.

Yeah no, he's he's together.

Okay, well you need one of those.

I feel like apartment New York City apartment doors all have something wrong with.

Just have a key.

I mean, I I'm not mad at the fob.

Sure my front door, if you don't pull it shut behind you, it stays open and my neighbors will run out and and I'm.

Like, you're can rob us.

I'm kicking the door shut because it's not that hard to get in and out the building.

It really isn't, truly you I'm glad they discontinued Metro cards because really that was the only way I could get back into my apartment.

A little little metro card I would have it in my shoe.

I'm like, listen, yes, you know sometimes under the gout.

I was a child, I didn't have gout.

It was in tiny tim You didn't have lou gout.

Baby Out, Baby Baby out.

Coming to Nickelodeon, Nick Jr.

Nick Junior, Baby this Spring that guy.

I missed the gag, like or when they sline you, you need to bring that back just for regular game shows.

Put it on Jeopardy.

You know what they need to bring back for adults.

Legends of the Hitten we love.

I think they got to bring it back exactly what it.

Was for us.

Yeah, so we can be like, what's his name?

Omar, the big temple head, you know, like you remember he had a name.

Maybe he didn't.

I think his name is Omar.

He had a name.

Oh yeah, I don't know if it was Omar.

It's something like that because Omar sounds too modern.

Yes, they were trying to make it cool for the kids.

Those temple guards that would come out and grab it.

We were like, yeah, I.

Didn't like the slime.

That was actually really gross.

And somebody who you know, I care about my hair.

I was like, I'm gonna get a slim out of my hair.

You need a swim cap.

You gotta get a Nickelodeon wig.

Nickelodeon, you were so good, wasn't even ready for About Girl.

Not you let me not your main unit, and let me put that in my list of thanks for Christmas.

I need.

I need a slime wig for Christmas.

Of course on the twelve.

Dude, this is the most un serious episode thus far.

I just want you to know.

So I took swim lessons during the pandemic.

Damn.

You were doing everything watching Survivor, Take and swim the time.

I lived alone, so it was like, yeah, So I took swim lessons and I was like, do I need a swim week?

And I remember being in my house like I need something that's like And then I was like, bitch, you can't swim if you drowned in that week, pulling you down to the DL if the whip pumps off in the ocean, I mean, in the in the pool, I have to just stay.

I have to die.

Yeah.

And I was bald at the time, so I was like, let me just go and be balked, be bald, and learn how to swim.

And then you didn't learn how to swim.

Well, then I got my hair and then I was like, well I'd rather have good hair.

Yeah, swimming, know how to swim?

What do they teach you?

Just like I mean I know how to but were you learning stroke?

Yeah?

Yeah, yeah yeah, Restroy, whatever, what's the one we go like?

Do hold on eron?

So you've never taken a class you just came.

No, I did when I was little.

But I'm wondering, like what are they Yeah, because I feel like they're not just like holding you up like you're doing.

They were holding.

That.

I wasn't trying to tout you maritic.

So and you famously have amazing hair.

Well you cut a lot of it.

Yeah, long long.

I had long hair for a long time.

Yeah.

Now it's giving locks for love like you gave it up, or locks for some children.

Give the children a second chance.

You donate some of the tendrils.

It's not even how long I was.

It's not long enough to donate because I asked.

I was like, let's give it.

You know this gift.

I don't know.

But that's when people are like growing it out to their waist.

Thing.

It has to be a certain inch count or whatever, and mine was like.

They said, we don't want ten inches.

Yeah, but the people not wearing bobs, it's like you don't have no hair.

You being picky, like you don't.

Want Yeah, you have to whatever, sew it together.

I don't know, Like nobody's doing the three sixty bridge to Terabithia cut.

Yeah, I'll go back and for the bridges.

Hey, somebody in Ohio once a bridge and Terabythia three sixty bags.

We gotta give it to the three sixty bang A bowl cut?

No, no, no, no no.

A bowl cut is like it's cut real sharp, right, and it's it's stiff, okay, real stiff, got.

It's got body got waves.

It's like Tarabythia is Latin for b by touch my touch.

Can we get to touch my taramythia tattoos?

Can we do this?

Yeah?

Lower back.

Is the title of the episode.

There's so many options, and that'll show up good when you're on the Kardashian Show.

Yeah, Oh my god, magure back.

Okay, so we get the key fob, that's mess.

What else you got anything like a little juicier friend?

Yeah, what's going on?

I'm trying to think of any drama I actually.

Have you okay, babously, Josh Sharp, your Bessie, your partner, Cri work wife, your work wife.

Y'all have been friends for how long?

God, I want to say, like twenty ten or eleven, like fifteen years?

Say not you making us?

Do math know what it is?

I was like, you're a mathematician.

What are you thinking about?

I don't know how to not spend more money?

Frugality, frugal gality.

I didn't even know that was a word.

You don't know you said it off reality.

That's my other tattoo.

But it's gonna be mirrored, you know what.

It's gonna run right above my breast and I'm only gonna be ready in the mirror, and it's gonna be in screed people.

Like it's going to be in Times, Roman numerle, you know, calligraphy.

Sure, frugality fancy does I say family?

I'm not at all.

Frugality does mean family?

And uh in creole?

Yeah?

Okay, So y'all been friends for fifteen years and work together?

Like, is there any mess working with a close friend?

Oh definitely.

I think now we've worked through a lot of but you know, well, therapy, therapy, not together but were both therape eyes.

Okay, but yeah, I mean, of course all sorts of all sorts of mess arizes.

But but it's good now anything but anything stands out like, uh is there like hmm, I'm trying to not because obviously I'm sure you all signed an n.

D A you know, I mean.

We do every day.

Should we get in a D because we talk about our mess on the pop?

What I think it's public domain now just belongs to the people.

Well, in order to you know, work on your friendship, you have to be transparent and sometimes you got to work it out on the mics.

You know, not on the mics.

That's very Canadian coded that that's what we're all saying.

Okay, just get up and say everything.

And you say, hey, hey, we got real business is going on.

We're not getting We're not getting on the pod dragging each other, y'all.

Okay, we got an L S C.

And I think we used to do a joke on stage because he's just gay guys.

So like we hooked up in the beginning, we used to do a joke on stage.

We're best friends, two time sexual partners.

Yeah, you never told us that when he was on the pot.

I don't think that.

Was on stage joke comfortable say it, but way back in the day, so you know, they're just it's gay guy mass but everything was everything.

Why do guys do that?

I don't know your friends, but gay.

Guys all do that.

Yeah, that's how.

That's how a lot of people become friends.

It's through our bodies.

No, I don't want I.

Did try to propose that.

I think that people should focus more on their friendships instead of their partners and like relationships.

And I think you should actually want to marry your friends, right, And I politely declined said no, But I didn't offer you my hand in marriage.

Sounds like you wanted my vagina.

I should not, you know, I would.

I would like marry you.

Then I would have sex with of course very friends, very would be.

With me.

Mean, what's the purpose of I'm marriage or you're available?

You're out there?

So would I get married to you because neither of us are.

It's not an NDA we do y.

I'm so sorry, I cannot be.

I'm actually no longer I'm opting out.

Hey, Hey, whoever's doing to edit?

Cut it out?

Cut it out.

The Texas that I are in the.

Yeah, so I mean, after you see a friend in an intimate way, how do you be like not see that?

You know, I think that's a male Is that a male thing?

Maybe it's boys.

I don't know, because I like, it's just sex.

It's just sex.

I do think I've tried to I'm better about, Like I don't like sleeping with comedians.

Of course mistakes are made, but like I try to, like keep keep it working and play separate.

Are you at the Bellhouse and you've been at my bell house?

Literally I should have warmed up.

I didn't know we'd be singing something?

You already.

I think you're the first guest to be like right on time with us, Like really you are not missing a beat?

And might I want to crown you?

Round you for top top guests?

Thus far discuss this.

We don't have.

You just gonna decide.

She gets the crown.

I don't know we had crown, Yes you do, And I don't know we had top guests.

We do?

We do well s was one of them?

Oh yeah, she came.

Was that her?

She thinks her friend is in a cult.

That's really fun, Yes, it's really fun.

My door is weird.

Yeah, very much, so I should have we should have gave you her episode to listen to you and be.

Take notes, you know.

Oh also she uh she does social media for onlyfan Yeah, like is the response when she posts the videos and the girl makes bank?

Yeah, Amber, I think she needs to be making more money.

You know what I'm saying.

Of course, I'm responding to all the messages.

I'm basically, I'm you.

I'm basically and.

That's the that's the whole, that's what people really.

Yeah, they want to see the body all that, but then after that they want to have the one I'm special for you to talk to this Sierra de Berger rack.

You know that he's the guy with the long nose and he whispers to the one guy was like he loved this woman.

This is a story.

Yeah, he loved this woman, but she didn't love him because he had a long he knows, and she loved this hot guy.

And then he would write poetry for the hot guy to say to her, and then she fell in love with the poetry.

It's like, reallys and you're in love with the ugly love with the hot guy.

But that's what I mean.

She's Sereno de bergeraking for this only fans.

I can't say that.

I was like sierrao Bergerac, I said, Sierra Leone Diamond, Sierra Sierra.

Nos Sierra Sierra.

I feel like Sierra Knowsbergion.

You got it, that's it.

Punchback of Notre Dame.

But she didn't fall in love with him.

He was also ugly, an ugly guy.

Hey, but he had a job, he had he rang the bell.

I think you know that word ugly.

It's just we're we're so close with it.

You know, everything is not ugly.

I'm like, I can see people inside it's more ugly than the out.

You ever meet somebody, you're like, yeah, I'll take a picture of you, but I don't want anything else to do with you.

Why do I want to photo with them in my phone?

Then?

Because it looks good for the for the records.

Yeah, like they look they're very attractive.

But to actually be in like next to them, being cotes.

With them now.

On the inside, what would you rank the Hunchback of Notre Dame because he seemed nice.

He just was like, is that how you started the conversation?

Sydney?

Okay, let's do yes not a solo show.

Okay, we should write a play, okay, and it should write it and it helps us do it, and then we get on stage and he'd be like, lie li there, you guys are.

SI or do your no, And with the line I'm like, I see that nose.

No no, that's they're safe word.

No no, no, it's good.

Yeah, safe word.

It is funny, you know.

So Famously, me and my sister had gotten into an argument a couple of weeks ago.

Yeah you should hear that.

Do you have any siblings?

I do have a sibl I have an older sister.

Okay, Marie is the older sister.

No, yes, okay, the good one.

But Jesus, she's so unseerious.

I'd never look at her as the older sister.

She's so stoic.

My sister's so younger.

Yeah yeah, interesting, but is also unseerious.

So it just feels like baby totally.

Anyway, that an argument in Houston in the hotel security came security game, were getting a complain about the noise.

I'm like, it won't happen again.

Mind then not caught me off guard and I you know, I had to throw a weig on real quick.

Jop in the door.

It's since you don't have the security ready.

Door.

I'm a chain out the door.

Mind, I just grabbed the closest.

We gotta put it on.

I was like, this, it won't happen again.

Mind it was my sister's wig backwards.

Anyway, we're good now.

We talked it out.

I don't remember why I brought that up.

Yeah, we were just saying something because you were saying you wanted to give us an update on it.

No, but I bought it up because you.

Said, what were we talking about?

Damn the brain brain hit the track.

And you got what you want from me.

Wait, oh, I tell you, Oh, I do have a story.

That story is this was at their show.

I think I told you, Marie.

I my phone was working when I left my apartment.

Then I get out of the apartment.

The phone, the screen doesn't work anymore.

I can't move it around to do anything.

That's Steve Jobs.

I need to go to his.

I need to go to their show at the Bellhouse.

I did not know how to get to the Bellhouse.

I didn't know what train it is.

I don't know is there a train.

There is a train, There is a train.

I get on the L train and I was like, you know what if I go to Times Square and I'll figure it out from there, I'll figure it out from there.

So I Square, I asked.

I was going up to people, I said, hey, how do I get to the bellhouse?

Started?

That's how you started.

You started with hey, my phone isn't working.

And you can't say that because people were like yeah right, yeah, yeah, yeah, you in Times, Time Square and Time Square.

But these guys they had on backpacks and they were all sitting together.

I was like, oh, they're the nerds.

Still help me, you know what I mean?

We have their their T nine or whatever, like, yeah.

You see the beauty on the inside.

I do.

I do.

Look at these.

Nerds, ye, hey, hey George to me give it to me now.

And they thought I was a sex worker.

Thought it was where you willing?

Were you asking for it?

Did you have the cheats out in the back.

I was not at all fair.

I did not suits on.

But they were going to they were going.

To a Pokemon convention.

I was like, if if you think I was going to sell sell this ass to y'all.

Nerds, they think everyone you didn't see the inside.

This this this coucci is in Dragon ball z or dragon.

Yeah, pick up, so okay, house is everywhere.

No, they didn't help it.

They did not help me.

And I said, you know, Sydney, you're a New Yorker.

You could do it.

Go get on the map, Get on the map, Get on the map.

Where is the Bellhouse?

She had just starting the stars.

She had her finger and putting it in the wind.

The north is literally four p m subway.

I look at the map.

I was like, the Bellhouse seems around here, you know.

I was like, I said, I look at that landmark from the map.

I'm like, you know, I feel like a Starbucks is over here, like nowhere.

So then I figure out what stopped to get off.

Finally I get off, but I still don't know how to walk to get.

To the Bellhouse.

And it is it is random where it is.

So I it's only men.

That's only men that's available.

And I said, hey, I'm trying to get to the Bell House.

Can you help me?

You say, Bell House.

I hope you get to the Bell House.

And I said, never mind, no, no, no, never mind.

This doesn't feel like I saved space.

He's gonna walk me down down the alleyway and Benson is good in your houses and I and then he's gonna be like, she was a comedian.

Well, I guess the joke's on it.

That's the famous Murray fo joke.

That's why we are Okay.

So then I get to your show.

It's already it's the wrong day, the wrong show a ball row or yesterday.

Yeah, either, Aaron, what comes.

I'm just show.

I'm stressed, I'm cursing.

I'm like, I alls not working.

I'm like trying to turn it on, trying to turn it off.

I'm doing all this stuff.

And so uh and what's his name?

He's from I forgot his name.

He's a really funny comedian.

He won to Emmy.

Yes, Jack Killer's on the show.

I was like this first time I.

Met him, I think he's so cool.

But he's literally seeing me shake the ship out of my phone.

I'm in the corner like cursing at the wall.

He's like, Okay, well she's really you know right now?

Yeah, And so y'all have me at the end to the end of the show, and all I can talk about is my phone not working, and so I'm having a breakdown and everybody's laughing.

Everybody's laughing at this breakdown, and this one guy raises his hand.

He's like, we're taking questions at the bell out.

He said, did you try to turn off your phone and turn it back on?

I said, I will murder it?

Right?

You think that's not the first thing I tried to do.

There's a riss on survivor.

Why are you wearing throw the right the rise the Survivor.

I haven't been able to recreate that day ever, but red it.

You should have been at the show.

It was phenomenal us in record.

No, it's a fundraiser to raise.

Money record for charity.

They're not spending extra money for Saint Jukes.

That's crazy.

You know.

Somebody wrote a comment that was like, Hey, I don't know why y'all think that y'all listeners would be donating to Saint Jude's because we had an ad for them.

Y'all don't like Jude.

Like to say the Latter Day says a lot didn't like blacks.

Yeah, well, they didn't know Mormons blacks.

They also know what they also called it something else and we can't say that in front of it.

Heart.

Well, the other Aaron Jackson and exactly the other two that we know the other two.

That's the show.

You and Josh it right for us, the other two.

The we go, we're cooking.

We're literally cooking hot.

If you're listening to this episode, I hope you took notes everything, everything we sang, every reference we made, every Aaron Jackson that we've ever met.

There will be a test.

This will be on the final.

Is there anything messy you want to leave the listeners with or something that is normally considered mess that you're like, No, actually, that's that's living.

How about your friends?

That's not it's normally considered best.

Your friend?

Three?

Would you do?

That?

Depends on the friend whose house we're gonna do that.

I have a nice house, now, yeah, don't want that that That doesn't feel good.

That's all.

I want to do it at my house?

Why not?

That's what you don't have to do.

You had a nice house, Well, you have a nice house too.

I don't want to do it.

That is.

I know you don't want to do it because you talk about where we're gonna do it.

If you want to do it, it don't matter.

You could do it anyway.

In the shower, buffah by Bad on a Hit chipper as hands and when you have Tacos E special, this gouts, red light, gout, red out, chup the night a gay yes, oh yo, now tackle tackle tackle.

We had to go because we didn't eat breakfast.

We did.

This is all in the stomach.

Dinner, girl, girl, dinner the girl.

We know that's not dinner.

Oh my god.

I have to get canceled.

I want them to cancel my card.

I don't want to order from Taco Bell or McDonald's.

You want to be blacklisted, I do.

I haven't been blacklisted from Domino's.

Okay, Yeah, we're gonna have to do a part do for you.

So where can everybody catch you?

Where can they?

You know, watch what you're doing.

I'm on Instagram at Garbage Troll and then White Days plays at the Duke Theater until until January.

So come on down or upper or wherever I love it, come down, Come up, Love y'all, Love y'all, We love.

This was honestly a rare condition by Mess with Sydney Washington and Marie Foston.

Is a production by Will Ferrell's Big Money Players and iHeartRadio podcast, created and hosted by Sydney Washington and Ree Foston.

Executive produced by Olivia Aguilar and Hans Sonny, super produced by Becca ROMs, edited a mixed by Brian Jeffries.

If you would like your messages read on air, please email us at mess Thepodcast at gmail dot com, or call for your messages to be played at seven sixty three two eight zero six five eight eight