You're listening to Mess.

Live at Mess Recording right now.

Mitch McConnell just filled.

His ass, buff his ass in a khaki written in a pleated khaki.

Wearing a pleated kaki.

Oh my god.

He was wearing Banana Republic blazer of course, and clearly he don't have enough grips.

Grips on the on the on the is the red bottoms he's wearing.

It looks like you're just like a hard what's a good old person shoe, like a new.

Balance, orthopedics, some like those the cushion ones you see at CVS CVS.

Yeah, he's he seems cheap to me.

He's not.

He's not showing out for more than like a fifty dollars slipper.

Damn, maybe slipper.

He needed a slipper.

I think that's what it is.

Yeah, he probably should have had a crock hard bottom crock.

Do they have those?

You mean snow shoes?

He needs some?

Yeah?

No, I think crocs are just plastic, you know, rubber shoes.

If he knows what's good for him, he's gonna turn this into a sponsors just opportunity with the crocs.

Be like I was slipping because I was in the wrong shoes, so I couldn't.

Get up and then remix like now with life Alert.

Yeah it collaborates right now.

Yeah, I don't.

I don't like it, but I like that he felt so.

Lol.

Watching people fall in public is my self care.

Sydney has a job, now I do?

You do?

I do?

I have a day job, and so therefore energy is no.

But I'm I'm I'm pushing.

I'm pushing, push it to the limit, push good, push good.

Yeah I'm not.

You still were like, let's record after that.

You don't really have a choice.

We are so behind in terms of recordings, and so my schedule will be will be so fucked up that I will I'll make these sacrifices for you.

How was it a sacrifice for me, babe?

This is this?

This is the schedule for the pod for the foreseeable future.

Well, and this house.

It's a sacrifice.

I also have to be here at this time.

I know I to work.

She does, she absolutely does.

But this actually is better for you because you were on time today.

Oh yeah, everybody coughing in the studio.

Oh okay, twelve, it's not on time for five o'clock.

I said you were on time.

I said it loud.

You're the one who said says in about five twelve.

You know when you showed up?

I know what I showed up?

I was that Grace.

It was actually true.

It was actually five ten, I said, I said, Hey, she came in at five.

Yeah, that's what I saw my wife.

Show up at five oh three.

Yeah, you showed up at five o three and bad about it?

I didn't.

I feel bad about everything though.

So okay, yeah, no, this is We're gonna talk it to you for sure to get into it.

Great.

The listeners don't know who's in the in the building right now, so you was gonna bring them in.

Give it up for Jimmy, how did you?

eBay?

Hello, we did it?

Did you know?

Writing things out phonetically really has changed the game?

Yeah?

No, Reading is big.

Reading is is hard.

Reading comprehension too, is harder.

That's harder than reading because I can say the word, but I'll be like, what it's like.

Read the words around it?

Context clues.

You're like, nah, I'm gonna need to get that.

Webster is going on every time I try to read a book and get you at the end of the page.

I'm like, yes, what what started this?

What was?

Because?

Yeah, yes, this guy.

I'm trying to read again and I read again, read it.

I'm trying to read again.

And when I'm in my apartment by myself, I read out loud and I feel like maybe that helps me hear it read is amazing.

I be like, I think I can't, and I'd be like.

Do you ever stop your neighbors like keep going?

No, come on, Mike Tyson, I think he can't.

No, that's Mayweather.

Oh yes, another boxer?

Was it fifty?

That was like I'll pay you like a million dollars if you read a paid to Harry Potter?

Yes, yeah, something like that.

Was it Harry Potter?

I think it was.

Well that's not fair, it's not fair.

Those words are ridiculous.

Yeah.

Yeah, if I can't read, I definitely can't read something that's imaginary.

That's right.

I don't want it and I don't And apparently he didn't need a million dollars yeah, because he's.

No what would you do for a million dollars?

What wouldn't I do for a million dollars?

Wouldn't you do?

Probably?

Like sometimes we were just like would you stuck a dig for a million dollars, like, you can start lower.

I'm not gonna lie.

We do it for free exactly, And I'm like you like it so well?

How let's start talking about how low great?

This is how we're starting to podcast?

How low?

How low?

Well?

Free is the lowest?

Do I get to do I get to pick the person?

No, okay, that's part of it.

Yeah, okay.

If I get to pick the person, I'm like, oh, there's a story here, I'll suck it.

I'll suck like an interesting person's dick for fifty bucks.

Okay, interesting persons do not make that the title episode?

Name three interesting persons?

Interesting person?

Their three?

Yeah?

Theree is a lot, what, Sydney, can you name three interesting people who you would suck?

One of them is married so or has a fiance so.

No, I won't mention that person out loud.

You're thinking of people you want.

You always after somebody, Miss Marie, I was going celebrity looking back, Sidney, you told the whole story.

What camera girl.

Wow, we're supposed to be a unit, Sydney.

I swear you love throwing me under the podcast bus, Sydney.

This is called mess and you the mess.

We're supposed to throw them underneath bus.

No what sisterhood I okay, you didn't know what the buck.

I didn't know you're throwing me under the bus?

Well not yet, okayus that is that is true?

You did immediately?

Well I put that I threw myself into that bush.

Well, Marie, take that back.

I don't want anybody's man.

Okay, why are you talking about somebody that you knows?

Man, we talk about any dick in the world that you could suck.

Yeah, it's only people.

It would only be people that I.

Not a celebrity, not a ghost, not of somebody what you know, somebody who died?

WHOA I don't know.

I was just like, I was like thinking, that is the scenario where you're gonna try and make it happen to.

See if.

I'm not here.

I'm not a madam, I'm not a I'm not a millionaire matchmaker.

I'm not about to find somebody for real and give you fifty dollars to suck.

They did Paul Newman's Ghosts, Paul Newman, the the the ranch guy dressing.

Yeah, you slap though, you gotta shake it though, you got to shake it.

Yes, and his relationship with his wife.

I'm like, there's something there.

I gotta know what he's working with.

And people were obsessed with that man.

Yes, that Caesar, Caesar.

Yeah, Sidney, that's to bring Caesar at the bottle?

What what?

I don't know if they can see the video yet, but look at what Sydney doing with the ranch.

Shake your heart like a Polaroy picture.

Okay, so the salad dressing man still alive.

No, he's dead, you said ghost.

So I was like, well, now you went Caesars.

I went straight to Caesar's.

I thought you were going to say Casper.

What.

No, that's a child, that's.

A little boy.

Was young?

Yeah?

How old you think Casper was one?

I thought, I guess I didn't know who Casper was real.

I thought Casper was older.

Casper the legal ghost.

Casper the legal Ghost is amazing.

That the title thing, it's better, it's better than sucking interesting man's dick.

Well, well that's still on the running.

Yeah, like minutes into this podcast.

Okay, okay, let's let's reel it in all right, free, how you doing?

What's going on?

You know?

You know black people?

Yeah, my mess is my landlord is a is a county lint liquor beach.

Who Yeah, I'm bringing it back lit liquors back.

Yeah.

Yeah.

My landlord is a hot mess and has been a hot mess for the six years that I've been in this building.

But this week they cut my gas and my hot water.

For multiple days, the whole building didn't have it.

And you know, I'm the only black person in the building, and it seemed like the whites was cool with it.

They were like, yeah, they National Grid said they'll get They'll get here next Tuesday, next Tuesday.

So y'all not watching y'all?

Ass is that what's going on?

I was like, today, it's Saturday, y'all not boiling water.

We couldn't boil anything.

So my so, my next door neighbor, she was like, oh, my water is still kind of getting warm.

You could shower here, So you know, I was.

I put every I packed a little shower caddy.

I felt like like a college kid.

Yeah I had to sleep.

Yeah, I said, your bathroom is nicer than mine, but yeah, so I showered there one of the nights, and then the next night she was like, my water's not getting hot.

I had to wake up early in the morning.

The shower at Sydney's.

House because you know I got a two bed to bed.

Yeah, yeah, I said, the head and shoulders is nice.

I said, what's this?

A father and one shampool condition?

No way?

It was crazy, But that day I was like, yeah, no, this is not gonna work for me.

So so apparently what happened is that there are people who moved into the apartment upstairs.

They hadn't had gas the entire month of October, right, they.

Executive dysfunction, because how do you not report that executive dirty butts?

What do you mean you moved into a building and you don't have running water?

So they had been showering at their friend's houses outside the building.

I didn't know that.

So when they called National Grid to come turn their gas on, the man was like, oh.

It's a hole in the chimney.

I thought this is a hazard.

He said, I'm locking everybody out and he turned everybody's gas off.

Oh fuck.

And my landlord was like, yeah, but you're black, I'm black.

Like can we just can you look the other way?

He said, bitch, not for my license.

So she she was like, now it's up to y'all to call them to come back.

She just like no accountability.

Was like, this is nothing to do with it.

Sue her.

Sue this woman.

I've been emailing her for the last X amount of days, like, hey, if I got to get a hotel or Airbnb or keep buying food outside, I'm sending you the bill.

She's not gonna pay it, so take her to court.

So I called National Grid after coming back from sharing at Sydney's house.

I was eating everything bagel with bacon, egg and cheese and I called National Grid and I said, hey, we don't have I don't have hot water and it's been like forty eight hours plus and the lady was like, well, we can send somebody on the twenty first.

Wait a minute, now, what is going on?

I said, well, what day is today?

I'm doing the math.

I said, yeah, that's unacceptable.

It was on the fourteenth, Marie.

Yeah, that's a work babe.

So eventually, so what ended up happening and why this is so messy is I was like, if this was an emergency, and I smelled gas, is that you would tell me the guy can't come to the twenty first.

She said, if this was an emergency, he would be there within the hour.

And I said, I smell gas.

I smell gas.

She said, how long you been smelling it?

I said for a while.

And the guy came half an hour later.

Mind you, I wasn't even home.

I was like, I'm actually headed out.

She said, well, if they can't get into your apartment, they gonna knock the door down.

They're gonna get the fire department, and you're gonna have to pay for the door.

I said, it'll be unlocked.

I text everybody in the building.

The guy come in, you know, make sure he like goes to check to see if the hole is covered or fixed.

They not turning nothing on.

They said, they're not making no promises.

But if if he's here and it's it's like off.

I'm sure he'll turn it on.

And they were like, say less.

And I was like, are you gonna contact my landlord?

You have her information?

The lady was like, we don't have it.

I'll said nine one seven.

I can you want her email too?

Oh babe, she's at Yahoo dot com.

And her different aliases.

Yeah, so I sent all the information.

I left my house at eleven thirty.

He got there at twelve six.

He got there, he was confused.

Everybody in the building.

He's asking who called.

Everyone's like, oh, he's in my apartment.

They don't know what's going on.

My landlord shows up, she's pissed, she's upset.

The girl next next door, for some reason, has a key to the basement.

My landlord is vexed because the man is down there.

He flipped his switches.

He looking at you know, he probably looking at all the violations down there.

Anyway, they turned everybody's guests on, and I am the hero in the building.

Black women will always save the day.

Because the whites were like.

Well, you said the nineteenth, the seventeen, the bars, and I said, yeah, I gotta wash my ass.

So and also the room.

What were they all gonna do?

They're just not gonna have baby white another week, baby wipes.

They were gonna go to the gym.

I don't know where they was gonna shower.

They were gonna spray it.

What a bottle spread they're gonna do?

Ship you do if you don't have hot water?

I guess not.

Damn well, they were gonna take cold showers.

I don't know, but the water was And I called three one one, I called everybody.

I snitched on that lady in multiple languages on multiple platforms for you, and now I'm doing it on this podcast.

I'm proud of you, gonna know anyway, Yeah, I just I can't believe.

It was like three days of just I was like, why do I live like this?

It's not you living like this, that's it's how they are living and how she is doing it, running it the landlord situation.

She was at everybody and they were like, well, why didn't you call National Grid And she was like, I'll explain all my reasonings to you at another time, another time.

Bit it's like I gotta I gotta make an excuse, I gotta.

Come up with my life.

I gotta check chat, GPT, yeah, figure out what the mess is and then come back and be.

Like, well, every landlord is so lazy.

And I'm like, just don't buy the place.

Don't do this job right.

Yea, but everyone's the thing is is that they want the property.

They want the property, they want the perks of having a property.

But then when it's like when you really have to be that person, you are the boss, they don't want to do that.

Yeah, she was like the bare minimum.

The dude was like, there's a hole in the chimney.

That's a hazard.

She was like, yeah, you look the other way when this building explodes up, where are you gonna be looking?

I didn't even know y'all had a fireplace.

I don't know there was a chimney.

Yeah what this is just a chimney going through the middle of the building of someone's apartment.

I think it's just like I think maybe all buildings have chimneys, which I don't in New York City, No way.

I think something like all the gas gotta escape somewhere, the whole the whole roof.

Yeah, yeah, I think that's I mean, it's not.

It's not for saying it's not.

It's not a furnace, is it is?

Maybe it's a furnace.

No it' said the chimney man.

Listen, you good job.

When you came back to the building, they should have been outside and lifted you up.

Hoorah, collapsed hoorahs.

Also you being like, but keep it down.

She can't know it's me.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, no, she doesn't live in the building.

She was standing on the corner when I walked up, and we walked past each other and didn't even acknowledge you that.

She's like, you were the one giving her the trouble.

She knows it, and you trouble, and you have the trouble, you have the good.

Uh you know Haitian protective cloak on you.

That my mom, I said, Lee lowie, we're talking about her as I walk.

It's just as crazy.

I can't live like that, no one, Oh yeah, fully live.

The lady was like, if they get there and it's not an emergency, you can get fined.

I said, send him, it is an emergency, yeah, and find me.

Also like, if I had waited, that would have been like ten plus days.

I can't even make tea.

Tea that was the most important thing on her list.

Yes, girl, wiping your butt and tea.

Washing my butt and making tea.

You can do dirty ass as long as you got tea.

Listen.

I got home.

I didn't even watch my hand.

I rent tea.

What would you have done?

Uh?

My problem is I would have I'm too passive.

I would have been okay, well, there's gotta be away, or I'd like try and like bum off a friend or something.

No, you pay too much rent.

The rent is too damn high.

I'd also probably just be like okay, let's see cold.

I hear cold showers are good.

We're gonna do cold showers for a bit.

It was so cold.

Say, cold showers wake you up, so that's what you should do in the morning, like splash it on your.

Face, shower at night.

So it's fifty degrees outside, y'all still taking cold showers when it's fifty degrees No, exactly.

Know your rights.

People know your rights and don't listen.

People have to stop being complacent.

I know you have anxiety, you're depressed, you barely want to get up, but you being so we'll figure it out.

That affects everybody.

Yep, well they were.

Everyone else in the building that was calling National Grid was also lying.

They were like, it's an old lady and a baby that needs and they were like, no, the nineteenth is the earliest.

No.

Like, there's a.

Three legged dog that you've been able to take a bath.

He needs to take a bath every day, Okay.

When his leg's already gone, so he's gonna.

Have to wait.

Yeah, not me, I said, I smell guess.

They said, how long you've been smelling it?

I was like, yeah, you know for minute?

How long you need to be smelling it.

Yeah, They're like, where do you smell it?

I was like the whole building.

I smelled it with the whole building.

Yeah.

She was like, well don't.

She was like, don't unplug anything, don't.

She was like giving me the whole spiel, and I was like, girl, I know you know that I don't smell gas, but okay, act like you do.

Because we were recording this, Okay.

Hello, well damn mm hmm, Sydney, Yeah, thank you for letting me shotower at your house.

Of course, I'm glad that I have one.

Glad that I'm glad that I'm not.

That far from you.

Now look at Gord.

My mess, sure mess, yeah, my mess.

Uh.

You know, once again, I'm caught up.

I'm caught up, and this is what I do to myself.

Originally, you know, I had a story about Donnie the Duck.

Oh, let's actually fill y'all in now.

This happened like two months ago.

Donnie's owner hit us up.

It was like, I'm in the building, I'm coming to New York tomorrow.

I want to do the pot I hit backa up be It's like, hey, we don't have no no room for that.

Scheduled to do the podcast cool.

I hit him back.

I said, hey, she got your information.

She'll try to schedule like a normal person.

We get a text message in the middle of the next day, Hey, did you tell the guy with the duck to come to the studio?

Would Why would I tell him to do that?

Hey, he's downstairs in the lobby.

Did he get the duck?

Yes, he got the duck.

So he's on tour with the duck.

What do you mean he don't go nowhere without that duck.

There's this guy on TikTok that takes has a little duck.

The duck.

He made a chain for the.

Duck and a duck to strip clubs, to concert.

It was in the Puerto Rican Day Parade and everything.

Let the baby get in the nest and go to bed.

That duck is more outside than Eric Adams.

The duck is in the hook a lounge with area.

The duck is the mayor.

Does I think the key?

I think it has a little bit anyway, So you know, I haven't heard from him since.

I still see the videos.

But you know, so that did that did scare us.

That was a little but I was like, you know what, he's a good guy.

He probably doesn't do podcast.

He's harmless.

He's got a duck.

A man with a duck who's doing damage with a duck with a.

Duck, you know they're loud, and the duck he doing an ocean's thirteen and taking everything out.

The back of the house.

Babe.

If you look at this man, I don't think he's doing much.

The duck is the dcre what he's banking?

No, what could I do?

I just got a duck.

I'm just just me and my duck.

I'm just a brother with a duck.

What do you think he's trained that duck to do no offense.

I talked to him on the phone.

You see him on the far He ready got you, of course, I'm talking talking.

Got your number, Sidney.

Everyone has Sidney's number.

Sydney is the queen of just being like, yeah, just take my number down.

You talked to the duck at Sidney.

This is a new disclosure.

Yeah.

I didn't want to say because I knew y'all was going to react like this, But I talked to him on the phone and it was.

The duck on speaker.

No.

I was like, I asked, is a duck with you?

He said, yeah, of course.

And then I called him back again after I heard that he was in the lobby, and I was because I was.

Like, I was gonna just go meet up with him.

I really wanted to see Donny.

I'm just listen, I'm matched crazy.

You're not gonna scare me.

Let's let's link.

They told me he was in Harlem.

I said he went to the Ruckus basketball court to watch the play.

Yes, he did with the duck.

They loved it.

He said, yeah, I was in the lobby.

You known man O was Mano or whatever the rapper was here.

I took pictures with him and everything with the duck.

I was like, oh my god.

Okay.

The problem is that the duck gets many where he wants.

So he's like, y'all just show up and they'll all do the podcast.

Yeah.

Fine, fine, if you're taking care of the duck, so be it.

It sounds like the duck is taking care of him.

Yeah, and you know what, I might get a fucking duck.

If you had a duck, they might have had put.

The You're Missing Friends black.

So there's another duck person.

Tons of people are getting ducks now, but this guy, I think his name is antoine or something like that.

The duck is called uh duka.

No, that's what I'll call it, ducka duosa di vante.

It sounds like Whalt Disney trying to pander to black people, just like Donald don't do duct Yeah that's good, I actually do like that.

Get the baker.

That's a small dug use that.

No more drop.

I don't like this.

I don't like this anymore.

C No, I don't like it.

Listen.

I'm obsessed with these black men get these really cute ducks.

And there I think it's very I'm glad they're getting pampered.

But I'm just like, now there's like an economy of people getting duck.

That's where I'm like, where do you get these ducks from?

Yes, I don't know.

You know what happened?

He got, okay, so this is a mom got hit by or something.

No, this is okay.

This is Ductavius too.

The first duc Tavius got taken away.

Ducts too fast.

Curious du.

Previous one got taken away, and so he said, but Ductavius made egg, you know, taken away.

It was it was a certain type of duck that it was like, it can't be domesticated.

They have to they have to return, and people were upset.

They were like, oh my god, the ice is just taking everybody.

But it's a Canadian goose.

The comments are crazy.

Yeah, so oh this is ductavius junior, ductavius junior ductavious too.

Yes, so he's feeding him everything.

Oh, he's bathing him.

And this this black man, you know, he takes care of his hair, his locks or neat.

He's apart, he's got kids.

He's a good man.

He's a good man Savannah.

And so now he's like like, I need to see what he looks like.

Oh, yeah, you got kids.

Yes, that means he shouldn't have any time.

What do you mean?

Well, the duck.

Now he's trying to sell merch with the That's exactly where it's going.

Exactly.

That's where I feel a little.

Someone on TikTok it's gonna be like, how do I make money off the thing?

He got two hundred thousand followers in two weeks.

I'm gonna get a fucking duck.

That's it.

That's what it is.

That's that's how you're gonna sell tickets.

Bathe, What are you gonna the duck?

Ah?

You take a duck on tour.

Also, you have to.

Well, the thing is on a carnival cruise.

The thing is that that ducks poop everywhere, so I don't want to deal with that.

They poop everybody is so freaking cute.

Yeah, because he's not showing you the poop.

Would you get a random duck?

No, that's not my business.

Demmy, you do flips and everything all different night clubs and whatnot.

That's a human being doing back flips in a in a club, in a toilet, in a toilet like a man with hot water.

That's right.

Wow, you're a catch.

So yeah, let me say let me say it here right now toilet.

His name is Rashad the Wanderer, So you know, I'll obviously drop it in the dump.

This guy.

But he doesn't live nowhere near here.

Sounds like he don't have a home.

He does have a home, and he built another home for the duck from scratch that the duck has a jacuzzie light and it has a.

Pool raczie for a duck.

Sounds like he cooking the duck.

No, he's not different.

It's just like Maria.

It sounds mad, you're mad.

Hot water This week you're gonna put a pin in that because we need to get into this.

Yeh man, no, no, no, Demy, you are here.

I just want to know what you name the duck.

If you go Davante Davante duck Vonte, I was like.

It's not even fun in that.

Yeahante, Okay, I think I would name my duck Darnell Darnell, Darnell, Darnell Darnell duck.

Yeah, that actually sounds good, Darnel duck.

If you had a duck, what would you name it?

Demi too, Yeah, yeah, Demmy.

You know what you hear?

Yes, we here to unpack your mess.

My mess talk about it.

So backstory.

Up until like just before COVID, my hair was truly just like it's either I'm bald or I just it's like half an inch, like I would just shave myself.

So I've not been to a barber or anything in years.

COVID, I decide I'm not cutting it.

I'm gonna grow it out.

For the first time in my life.

People are just like, I love your hair.

It's getting long.

It's like the locks are grown out.

I've got dreads.

I'm like, okay, I like this.

I'm gonna keep it.

The hair is starting to get heavy and like messy, and I didn't know what to do.

So I met a guy at a comedy show who's like, oh, my cousin does hair.

Come up to the Bronx and get your hair in me.

What?

No, I mean you live in LA, but you get scammed in l A too.

You should know that.

You get scammed in LA, not.

Like you can get scammed in LA.

Wait was this the Bronx?

Why is that bad?

It's the Bronx.

It's the Bronx.

Nobody's just going come meet me in the Bronx.

Bronx, you you're from the Bronx.

No, I said, I'll go to the Bronx.

I went to the Bronx this morning to do what we're on a location scout.

Oh okay, I'd like to do your hair.

They didn't.

So there's the thing.

Get out.

That's what they said when you got to the Bronx.

When you said when you say you went to the Bronx, said, listen, the Bronx is fine.

If you know the Bronx, you don't know it and you I'm not exactly Yeah, okay.

So here's the So I go first of all, I we make an appointment and I get sick that morning.

I'm like, I'm sorry, I got to reschedule.

I reschedule it for next Friday when I'm better.

I go to the Bronx ten am.

I sit in the chair for six and a half hours getting my hair done, and all the time I was like, I haven't really given her directions on what what I want for my.

Hair, right, And also I was just sort of like heat.

Six hours, Yes, so do what to tighten your locks?

Yes, tighten my locks and then apparently braid them.

And I was like, my hair is pretty thick.

Maybe she'll like undo it and like do smaller braids.

She does braids in like just like my my locks as they are now, and starts braiding them in these giant braids.

I look like, you know, I was sitting in there.

I like it was done, and I was just sort of like you ever hear your hair done and You're like, I don't recognize.

Myself now, So there's I don't let it get that far.

That's the problem, because I'd be in the mirror she doing the whole time.

I'm with my phone.

I'm calling my sister, so she can discreetly tell me if it's given.

I told you I'm too passive.

I'm sitting in that chair.

And I'm also just like, I've never gotten my hair done.

I've never had to, it's never been this long.

I was like, I'm trusting her.

I'm sure by the end of it, I'll look at it and go like, Okay, that looks great.

Did you know this woman's first name?

Did you read any reviews on you?

So you didn't know her name or nothing?

You trusted her with your hair?

Yes, Okay, let's finish the story piece because we are all the women in this pier are like, you didn't show up with a reference photo.

I here's the thing.

I did save reference photos to my phone.

And then I was like, at some point you'll ask me what I want.

And I was like, at what point?

At what point in this process is it like, oh, the hair has begun.

You were waiting on her for six hours.

Around hour three, I'm like, we're in it, demmy, I'm stressed.

I understand.

Yes.

Anyway, so it gets a point where she's braided my hair, I like, coolio, and I'm like, okay, I'm gonna give this a day of just seeing how I like it, and I'm sending it to friends and they're all being very supportive, but ultimately I'm just like, I do not feel like myself.

White friends, some white.

Friend not all.

No, the most supportive friends were black.

Okay, you didn't hit me up.

I didn't because I knew what she would have said.

That means, you know, it wasn't for a wreck and you didn't get you didn't give me one.

Well because I hit my lady up and she said, girl, I do units.

I don't.

I don't do that.

She said, yeah, And so I sent you up projesta.

If you want one of these, I should have done that.

I'm walking around, keep going, keep going anyway, So were like.

Yeah, that's they were like, it's it's interesting.

I fuck with it.

It's different.

You're gonna have to get used to it.

It's also like it's for the first.

Time in ages.

I'm like, I'm seeing my scalp underneath it.

And I was like, oh, this is just not what I'm used to at all, and I'm feeling crazy.

But yes, yeah, okay, she treated it.

It wasn't.

The problem is not that she didn't do a good job.

It's just I was like, I should have just been like, I don't think this is what I want?

But oh, you knew it wasn't what you wanted.

What was the reference photo?

I didn't get to.

Even show her show?

Okay, that's all.

When you get your hair done, the reference photo should be from the immediate.

So this is what I'm coming in here for.

That got my hair done in over a decade.

Well we here write this down.

This is what I want.

So wait, when's the last time you got it done?

I mean, technically speaking, I've never gotten it done because it's always just been like if if I went to a barber, it'd be.

Like just cut it.

No, no, no, I'm saying, when you went to the Bronx, when was this?

This was a week and a half ago.

Shut up for six hours?

You know like this now don't and no?

But then okay, so I already know what the verdict is gonna be.

This is mess.

But six hours.

I gotta go bring the duck in.

I heard these downstairs.

If I if I leave, I'm going back to the Bronx.

Well just me, here's here's the problem.

A day later, I'm freaking out on my I do not like this, I really, I gotta get it done somewhere else.

So I just undo the braids.

Okay, a day later, day later, Marie, that's something you would do if it hurt.

And it did hurt, but everyone's like, you gotta give it time.

It'll settle in.

I wake up the next day and I'm just like, it still hurts and I don't like the look of it.

And he show us a picture of what it was.

I have a salon in Brooklyn that I can actually, I would actually I would love that.

Yeah, I'm gad a week ago, hold on, you might need to go to TikTok and oh wait, wait a minute.

That's the thing.

It wasn't bad.

I just was like, I don't think this is for me.

Ohay, wait a minute, Oh my god, damn you all.

I'm gonna go back to It's giving young buss a bus.

That's what I'm saying.

I was like, Coolio.

I sent it to one friend and he just went, oh, here it goes, and I was like, damn, do I like it now?

We zoom in?

Yeah, why are you laughing?

What?

Why are you laughing?

You Zubian?

You know it looks good.

It doesn't look bad.

That's the thing.

It didn't look bad.

It was truly just like I was like, I don't know what you wanted, what you expect?

Showed me what you wanted.

You thought you were going in to get your like locks.

Yeah, I just wanted them because it's like the hair like grew out like this, and I was like, I just need to clean up, right, so let me get this straight.

So you had never you hadn't got your hair done in a decade, and you said, let me trust this guy that was like, hey, I got a cousin in the Bronx because we should do my hair.

We talked about his hair.

And I was like, yeah, I like what your hair is like, and he was like his hair it was like lock.

It was just like shorter, more tidy locks.

That Yeah, that's what you told the lady.

Yeah, that you wanted.

Maybe you said you learn you said bab dealer's choice.

You couldn't.

You didn't you did a roulette.

You just let her let her roll the scout.

Yeah, and then how much did this cost?

Because the people want to know what you say?

Where we three hundred?

Well you could have got some boho braids?

No, because I think expensive.

Yeah, but she didn't know.

We look at he took it out and it looked like how it looked when he went in.

You know what I'm saying, like three hundred I can see if she tightened him and then she styled them, because.

It doesn't feel like she retwisted the new girl.

She didn't.

No, No, that's the that's what she went off with me.

Yeah, yeah, okay.

So she was playing with she really and you're sat in the chair after she washed it.

She should have been like, let me tighten these up and then like we'll figure out what to do after.

When when she started touching your your locks and you didn't be like, hey, you're gonna get to the scalp.

She was like, oh me playing to day?

Did she deep condition?

Yeah?

It felt good.

Yeah, it felt great.

Teach you went a little detox chair.

Okay.

That was the first hour was just me like she had washed my hair and then was like sit back and then it was like okay, now I sit under the heat and dry it.

And I was like, Okay, this feels good.

This is Yes, that's the best part of back in your hand.

She's innocent.

I truly think it's just like if I just.

Not innocent, Okay, okay this if she does this for a living, she's not innocent.

So wait, did you talk about the price up top?

No?

Definitely lay no, but that was she saw you and your cowboy.

But she was like, ah, yeah making money today.

Why did that take six hours?

Yeah, saying I mean I think we need to take this to shiptalk.

Back there like this on TikTok.

I was like, they will, they will crucify you.

They won't crucify you.

Were sitting in a chair for all that time, and she was just back there like this.

I'm like, do you have a mirror?

And then in the last thirty minutes, she was like, let me just do a couple of big breaks.

Demmy, I'm going to send you a whole bunch of videos every day.

There's another one that pops up of black women complaining about the hair salon experience and how like treacherous it is and how I just want to get my hair done.

I just want to feel good.

I don't want to pay too much, and like it's over.

So they're getting women who know how the system is.

And you walked your eclectic ass up in there, and it was like, hey girl, and you said eclectic like a slurf.

No, no, heart, see you're.

With eclectic, You're you're on Bosquiocht okay, and I'll take it in the Bronx and Nate.

She looked you up and down and she said, yeah, I got time.

I got six autumns.

You all saw the photo and you were like, oh yeah.

But that would not have That should not have been six outs.

She definite should have been three dreds, especially since your and she didn't reach your new growth.

We got just what we do.

Retwisted for shame on me.

Got feel like they're going, will you fool to get though I'm not even gonna hold you.

I can see you getting.

Let me send you to some of my friends the next want to make money.

You know.

This is a salon They specialize in in locks and natural natural hair in Brooklyn.

Other thing is that I'm undecided on what I want my hair to be.

Like part of me is like get just like tidy or smaller locks, And part of me is just like do I want locks at all?

Or do I want like something else?

It's like natural or like frizzier, Like what frizzier?

Because I was.

I was literally, I've fully just downloaded a bunch of photos being like what was on Pinterest kind.

Of dimmy, demmy.

Okay, So after this right, well, you know what, when this episode comes out, we are gonna put some some examples in the dump and maybe we can have the people help you.

Yeah, it's gonna be like the barber uh select.

Be like you want a number one number?

Yeah, yeah, you need some options because it seems like one you have ADHD and you're all over the place and you don't know what you want and you just need some assistance.

Yeah, and you you need a black woman in your life.

I do you have one of those?

All that I'm asking if you have a black woman in your life.

I was supposed to be the black woman and I said, hold on, I'll get back to you.

And that was got I was those you are complicit.

No I'm not, I asked, I asked Amina.

I mean it was like, girl, I don't do locks.

Like everybody I talked to this said no, I don't.

I don't do that.

They do braids, but they don't do I had locks.

She oh, she just didn't want to do she didn't want to do well.

But where was she going to get it?

Where did she go get her locks or her cousin didn't.

Yeah, her cousin did it.

The thing is, I had recommendations from black women of where to get braids, and I was like, well, I don't want braids.

I'm not going to go there.

And then I thought I was going to just get locks and have that at the end of it.

And then at the end of that was braided locks.

Then yeah, and I was like, okay, well they were cute though, yeah, but they hurt.

They The thing is, I'm sure over time I would have gotten used to, but I think the biggest thing to me was I looked in the mirror and I was She's like, I don't really see myself, and I don't like seeing so much my scalp your I don't like see.

So much fun.

Maybe maybe when you go do get your retwists say, I want like a light.

I don't need to a light.

I don't want people to see my thoughts exactly they're written.

I had them up there.

You know, demmy, I will say this.

I I feel bad.

I sympathize with you.

You know, I've been a black woman for a long time and many a year, and I will say hair is top five of like stresses that I have.

Like, I think it's probably right underneath money.

It stressled for me now too.

It was so much easier when I would just cut it myself, and now it's like, well I want it to look good, so I got to figure it out.

Listen, go to the also, get the place you go, get it loose.

So after you take it out after twenty four hours and three hundred dollars, did you tip?

Does that include a tip?

No?

You tip?

Ye?

Me?

Did not tip?

Oh no?

Did me pond dollars?

She tipped herself?

Didn't that job he wanted?

It wasn't a bad job.

It just wasn't what he wanted, right, But she didn't know what I wanted.

She also took six hours.

I'm not no she charged you for the time.

Yeah, she didn't charge you for the work, which I fully understand.

You say you're not get a tip though?

How we feel about that?

Let's say let's talk about our tips mess?

Yes, I think people, why are tips mess?

When I go to the coffee shop and I order something and you you spin that little iPad around and you be like tip, No, that's different because if I was paying cash you, this won't even have been an option.

I'm not talking about that.

I'm talking about actual service, like you know, I gave you a massage, facial, I get your hair, I do your toes or do your nail.

Tip for those things in general.

I'm someone who believes that, like you factor in a tip to the cost of a thing, so it's like if it's three hundred dollars, it's like, it's not there hundred dolls, it's three hundred and thirty or whatever.

This is just I was not paying attention and she told me the price and I was like, yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm just thinking about my hair and I did not think about a tip.

Was this at a salon?

No, it was home, No it was it was a nail salon.

That I believe that.

She so we don't even know if she really do locks.

I think she is.

She simultaneously did it like she.

I got there a little bit late, and he was like, let me go first and I'll just get mine because it's gonna be quicker.

The cousin was there, yes, and was it quicker?

Yeah?

How long?

Did his take?

Couldn't have been more than an hour.

And you said you didn't say that's what I want.

I didn't want what he got.

Okay, yeah what did he get?

I think his were like smaller braids.

He got the same style that she did for you, but smaller.

I think so.

And it took an hour.

I'm I believe that, yeah, because I think most of that time was me in the chair and I just kept looking at my phone and texting and being like, damn, yeah, it's three o'clock.

Now, I mean, this might be you, and I need to see you in other situations because this might be you.

No, this might be a pro.

I fully think it's a might be messed.

Yeah, so you weren't in the chair for six hours.

I wasn't the chair for six hours.

You were.

She was doing your hair for six hours.

So if you include me getting my hair like.

Washed, yes, oh, washing your hair is an hour plus waiting for him to finish.

Yeah, Well she would be like, Okay, now your hair's drying.

I'm gonna go deal with him and then i'm gonna come back to you.

So it's in between, I'm gonna go do some nails and then i'm gonna come back.

She did take a lunch break.

He took a lunch.

Well, six hours, you deserve a lunch.

I'm fully that's you deserve a lunch break.

Marie, she does What is it that.

You said that other guy's hair took an hour?

You could have everybody could have had lunch much sooner.

Yeah.

Yeah, all three of y'all could have went to lunch.

Jimmy, listen, Now, what's your background?

Where are you from?

I was born in London, but I grew up in Depth.

Oh do you know my mayor?

Yeah?

Oh well then I'm from Plano actually.

Okay, okay, So he was lying, yeah, yeah, because I'm like, who knows what Plano is if you're not from Texas.

Wasn't there a murder or something in Plano?

Statistically speaking?

Yeah, yeah, it could be in Texas.

Why is Plano Texas famous?

Heroin?

Oh?

Just Caroin?

Yeah?

Oh well really what it is is eight white kids over thelse from Heroin and they were like, we gotta do something.

Ah just eight yeah, a just eight.

Meanwhile in Seattle people o d by the minute over there eight At the same time.

I think it was around the same time, it was like high school kids Heroin.

How do high school kids get heroin.

That's your four friend because at my big age, I don't know how to get it now, sure don't.

I don't know where.

I wish I had a hook up and we could trade.

You give me the hair, I give you the heroin.

Heroin, Heroin, Heroin, open up a shop your heroine are doing or doing hair and we.

Get shut down.

But always because people complain about the hair.

Because of the hair, the heroin's great heroin is top hair.

They can't get to it.

They can't grip anything.

We don't.

We don't look at reference photo.

No we're cheap.

But that's because you let us decide.

Okay, so you're from you were born in London.

Yeah, you have no accent.

I don't.

I lost it when I was six.

Okay, Oh, I feel like a little English baby is cute.

They should have a little English baby bummy may with married men.

That No, that's not I have a crum from im from doesn't eat all day.

Ye.

My people would ask asking for like.

Chips, Chris Christ Chris, I have a cheap Cheeto.

No Chris che Cheeto.

They don't have Cheetos.

And the UK got terms mm hmm, what you what you know.

I don't know nothing.

I don't know what.

Okay, so you were in Dallas, but like, what's your You're Nigerian?

How do your Nigerian parents go from London to Dallas?

What?

I to the best of my recollection, it was my dad got a job in Irving, Texas, and we moved there, and then when we got older and were starting school, we moved to play Now because it was like safe city, good to raise kids.

And my mom got a job in a radiology.

Department radiology, well, computer science for a radiology Like she's a database in figure Yeah, yeah, my mom's.

Captain Johnson, she is.

She the head of the household.

I think did they both work?

What's your dad do?

Also a database administrator?

That's hot?

And I didn't realize this since I was older.

For the government.

Oh that's less hot.

I agreed, but I learned because I couldn't explain what my dad did for ages.

And then my sister was like, well, you know when the FBI came and interviewed our neighbors, right, and I was like, what do you mean?

Like, well, because they needed clear and so they interviewed our neighbors about our family to see if we were.

Up to your parents both have clearance.

Well just just my dad, did you have global entry?

Yes, imagine clearance, but you in the back.

He's clearance, but he cannot go to Canada nor.

But uh yeah, I love that.

Now I'm back in It's how to get clearance is cool?

Okay?

So they moved for work and whatnot, And then how did you get wrapped up in living in LA?

I got wrapped up just in comedy and writing and wanting to be like a writer and a filmmaker.

And then I went to college for in Austin and was like, well, if I'm going to do somebody as well just be in LA.

So I moved to LA pretty quick, like right after college.

I was just in l a Wow.

And you still live in LA.

And I do, although maybe by the time this drops out of just been like I'm out to be here.

Every time I'm in New York and I see, I'm just like I should be here.

Telling you We went to the Krabby Shack what was it last year?

Yeah, had some good old you know, a lot ro chatted, took a photo and then we dashed and like you, you had like three other errands to do?

Is that a good time?

Yeah?

Every time I'm in town, I'm like, I see so many friends and I'm just walking around and taking the train and I'm just getting free dope, mean from moving.

I'm not sitting in the car just being like whatever.

I just I'm so much happier here.

That's good to hear.

Yeah, because New York is a city that can suck the soul out of your body.

But LA, for me, when I lived there, was very very isolating.

Yeah, and you can't be alone in New York.

You're never alone in right now, but it's always in your business.

Which is good and bad because there are times where it's like I'm here and I should be relaxing.

It's the weekend, and I just walk around the city and I'm like, God, everyone's out, I should be doing something.

It's like, No, if I lived here, I would be comfortable to just think, let's go home.

You would go to sleep.

I'll be at my house watching with the window open, watching people.

Do they out there doing stuff?

But I pay rent here.

Yeah, and that's what it's really about.

That.

But that's the issue that I have with LA is that people have these homes and these cars.

So they're like, I'm going to get my money's worth and I'm gonna stay at the house.

But then it's like when it's time to mingle and do stuff, it's like they get there and then they're trying to run back home.

They're like, well, yeah, I have forty five minutes, went up, so fast, gotta go.

Or they're inviting you to their homes every other time.

It's like, hey, whatever your Netflix and look for you got going on.

I want to go out.

I want to be I don't want to sit on your couch.

Come my own couch.

But do people in La invite you over because they like their homes or because they hate traffic?

A little bit aboth?

For me?

I love the host I will I'm always being like come over, like I throw parties and whatnot.

But it's large because I'm like, I'll do whatever.

Like I've got so much shit in my house, and I like being home and I like having people in my home and like taking care of people.

But I also am like, if I leave, there's a point which I am like, I want.

To be home.

Okay, how many rooms you.

Got two bedroom?

Too bad?

Okay?

See, because it's like you know, you know, it's mess people who say they like to host, but they don't know how hot.

You know what I'm saying, Like, the issue is when I come in, right, it's time to take care.

Hey, can I get you something?

What would you like to drink?

You have multiple options beverages.

You got different types of water.

Little ramikins that you put the little chips or nuts or or what.

That's the word of the day.

Okay, that's called tiny jar like a tiny little cup.

Yeah, that's what I used to call Makochie used to Well, that will nurse those curls.

I don't try to go to the Bronx.

Get I got time, I'll go.

Okay, So now now you're here, you you might live here.

Is there any mess that you have dealing with being over here in New York?

Well, any mess that I have a crude in being here?

You have a mess that you built East Coast?

Miss.

I don't think so.

But I'm just like, as soon as we step like, oh I forgot, but no I don't.

I don't know.

I feel like my life over here is pretty clean.

Well, here's here's one thing I'll say every time I'm back in New York because I always come in the fall, I start smoking again, smoking what cigarettes?

I agree, I don't like it.

I would rather you had said crack.

Yeah, do you not love your life?

What's going on?

I do my life.

My problem is I also just like walking around in the cold and being like, damn, I could do something with my hands, and I feel sexy when I'm smoking a little cigarette.

And then I tell you, but I just walk around and touch touch a butt.

But all right, you know, yeah you heard them watch out ladies in New York.

They said, I can touch a butt, touch.

A butt if you're gonna have a butt in your finger, well a finger in your butt?

No, no, no, you know the butt cigarette butt?

Yeah you're red.

But why am I smoke some weed because I don't.

I don't like smoking weed.

I like little gummies and I like a little bait pen where I can measure how much i'm taking the second i'm hitting off a joint.

I'm just like, I don't know how much I'm hitting and I've gone crazy.

M Would you live in l A.

You don't know how to smoke weed?

Yeah, that's crazy.

I'm trying to get out of LA because everyone wants to smoke weed.

Yeah, because they live in LA and you should be high.

I like mushrooms more than I like weed.

Also, mushrooms are lit.

Yeah, you like that ship.

But you could smoke like an herbal thing, like a not nigga.

I've tried.

For the record, I'm not on board with this habit.

I'm trying.

Yeah, are you drinking while you're smoking?

No, so you're doing it dry.

Yes, the thing is also I barely drink.

IMA's got to be hot, man, I'm sorry.

No, no, no, you're right.

You ain't.

I know your breath gott to be I hate cigarette breath.

It's not what I'm not wrong.

No, you are correct.

I'm correct.

It is hot.

Not right now, Sydney, thank you for sing.

No oh no, no, no, no, right no now, not right now.

I'm a cigarette to day and I'm brushing chill.

I mean, I apologize.

No, this is a lie.

You're talking the truth.

Yeah, and that's why you have to be with black women, because listen.

To black women.

Yes, now, how many cigarettes are you smoking a week?

Well, one a day?

Or is it like everything?

It's every time I take a walk.

You gotta sit down, Yes, you got to get a car man.

You gotta, I gotta just stop and I got it just sober you got I got ucking like the I Am Sober app where it's like track how many times you I was.

I was so good this year from January to August, no cigarettes.

Then my birthday came around and I was like, what's one birthday August?

You the summer baby?

Yeah?

Yeah, I mean if that's the day that you have a cigarette.

Sure, But in the end of it, though, yeah, every day after that has been your birthday too.

Cigarettes are expensive, Yes, you rich, I'm just doing well.

I'm doing good.

I'm doing good, so good, so good, so good.

That's why I can't leave Las because I own my home.

We had a homeowner in the building doom when the gas goes out, that's my fault.

Well, to be fair, I also hadn't paid my gas bill since February.

You didn't include that.

You didn't include that.

The story, Well, I didn't know until the day before.

No, Murray, you knew no, but I didn't know how been that long.

It was.

The gas guy comes and it's like, oh, we shut this off.

I would like a whole building didn't have It's always like maybe you were like, oh, it's the building, it's not must Yeah, talk about being a homeowner.

How about that?

Is that mess?

Because everybody is pressed to.

Own a home own a home, But then I'm not press for it, not us people are.

Whenever I mentioned owning a home or people love to tell me like, oh, that's a good investment that's going to pay off.

And I'm just a little like I'd rather spend less money right now, like it was, it would also be a good investment.

Just have that money.

And also if I don't pay off the mortgage, then I'm just like like when I sell the house, it's like okay, well I'm just sort of breaking even here.

Talk about this because if I own a home, what is a mortgage?

It's basically rent.

It's just rent.

It's rent for a home, so that I don't own it.

No, but if I bought it, right, if I have to pay, Like so I can own a house and still I gotta pay every month like rent?

How much is taxes?

I have a friend she said after she totals it, She's like maybe twelve thousand a month.

Twelve thousand the heat, the all.

The bills, the mortgage, like.

That's the taxes.

The taxes.

Yeah, it's a very Wiscnson.

It's not West Canson, but it's very nice.

That's that's I'm nowhere near that, thank god.

But yeah, it's it's expensive.

And here's what.

Here's the reason it's not mess for me is because I like fixing things and just getting the chain shit at a whim.

You a little bobbed bill.

Mm hmm.

I love the d I y.

I love to be like, I'm just gonna build like a new door from my front porch.

I built a little cadio from my cat and attached to the window so I'm like, he could so you can just chill.

That's hot.

Yeah.

I love cat's name Benny Benny.

His name is Terry Benedict, as the villain from Ocean's Eleven Terry Benedict.

Casino.

Yeah, oh my god, dimmit, Landy Garcia.

Now I'm in.

I'm in because the hair took me out.

But now I'm in.

Okay, the ownly, the home and the cat.

I was here for the hair.

I was out for the cigarettes.

Terry Benedict.

That's the name of a fat cat.

Yeah, it's sweetie two years old.

Okay, when you're talking about ducks just showing up.

I was like, no, my cat just showed up.

Oh.

I like I had a dog.

Dog was dying.

Uh cat, I'm here now.

Yeah.

Cat was like, get him out of here.

Uh no.

But my friend was leaving town to go to Alaska for a while and she was like, there's a cat me on in my yard.

Ten hours later, she's like, this cat is still in my yard.

I don't know what to do with it.

And I'd live with cats with my ex, so I was like, I know what to do with the cat.

So I'll take care of the cat and I'll find home for it.

Three weeks later, I was like, I'm not keeping the cat, obviously.

But then my dog's dying.

I'm like, my friends come over to say goodbye, and they're like, you're probably gonna keep the cat.

Let's figure out a name for the cat.

So you had the cat for three weeks.

And I was like, it's not my cat name for it, just like it TBD.

Oh, I like t that same.

My mom still calls the TV diabolical.

And then when we came in with TERR.

Bennett, we were like, well, Terry Benedict TBD.

Yeah, this is why you get paid the.

Big Bucks's yes for naming cats.

Now, now this is the dog died and the cat was outside, Like let me now, can I be honest with you?

Sure?

Did this happen at home?

Did you get someone to come and yeah, the dog down?

How do you feel about the people who put these moments online on TikTok?

I so I personally have like never even talked about it online.

I put it on close friends just being like my dog, we put the dog down.

Whatever, I've never peopled still to the stage, like, where's clue.

I'm like, it's been two years.

Make a guess.

But for when people make content out of stuff like that, I'm always just a little like how real is the grieving and how much of it is you performing grieving?

Now, well, I'm dying as a person and I see like my nephew's making tiktoks about it.

I'm like, don't get me the fuck out that that's not really.

Think if I'm dying as a person, if my family, not my young family not making no tiktoks, they don't care about me.

You want to see them doing the dances.

Like the I want them to be like any arms.

With me in the back in hospice, they're lifting up your arms just like she's doing it too.

I don't know, it makes me feel bad.

It's a sign of the times though, I don't know.

It's just such a specific moment that I don't know if I would want to share with strangers, Like I'm leaving it up to them.

And also, I look, I look terrible when I cry, right, I do not look good crying.

Some people that you know, Marie, I remember when you were into Luma, you had a little tear for your birthday.

Beautiful.

Yeah, I was like I would take a picture of when you cry on mushrooms.

You were beautiful.

It was gorgeous.

But me the way, I really just like if I just let it out, oh that's gross.

I'm not setting up a camera for that.

And yet people do it every day and day.

I mean, we know Belahade doing it.

It's an entire type of person and like they process everything differently.

But I just I cannot be the kind of person who's preparing everything I do with like, I got to set up a camera because this is going to be important, it's going to get views.

And I'm just like I don't want to think like that, so I just in my brain I can't not be like, that's weird.

But I also understand that, like people grow up seeing that although it is normal.

To them, I mean for me, I don't even have to go that far.

Like I'll get ressed and run out of my house and people will compliment my outfit and I'll be like yeah, and then I'll get home and be like, I didn't take a single picture in this or I didn't shoot anything in this outfit.

And then people get on their phones every day and they do outfit posts, they do they do for the week, they shoot an outfit a day, and they make that a real and it's like I don't even think that far ahead.

And then when I'm traveling, I'll be like, oh, I want to do I'm gonna shoot some content when I'm overseas, and then I'm just trying not to get robbed or you know.

I'm trying to catch the train, or because for them it's a job, they're thinking like even just their life has become a job, and I'm like that sounds tiring.

It is, but.

It's just like the being in the moment I said, I said there's no mess being in the moment.

No, but I do.

I will say this.

I get mad when, like, I don't know, I feel like I try to catch people's memories because it's just good.

Like sometimes they can't remember these things.

Eventually they're like, oh what oh that d I don't And now you see the photo, You're like.

Oh my god, this brings up so much like joy.

You're good for that.

Yeah, But then there's people who don't do it at all.

Like I've had a couple of girlfriends that just they don't catch ship And I'm like, how much of the moment you're gonna be in?

Like I need you to get me, get me.

That's like a love language.

Yeah, I'm the friend bringing cameras everywhere and taking right now, we're gonna have that's mess.

We're definitely have to do that.

We should probably read a message because we're already.

Wow, we really went by this time.

Time flies when you're judging the guests, Yeah, jeez, wow.

We'll see how that turned out.

And first, folks, I'm gonna read this one right here.

Beige Woman tries to take our space at your show is the title of the Oh my God, you come in Hot Baby that title.

Before the October twelfth show started, which was literally this past week, a beige woman sat in the seat we were saving for our friend.

When we told her who the seat was for, she said, is your friend here?

We said, he's on the way.

Then she had the.

Audacity to follow up with everyone has a friend on the way when there were still other seats available.

My friend and I gave her a look.

She stood up, I put my bag on the seat, and she stared us down for a good twenty seconds before finally sitting.

One seat down.

Our friend arrived shortly after the show started, and our friend's many responses to your crowd work made everyone laugh, including her.

I hope she hears this and feels ashamed of herself.

Well, I will say this beige woman, she probably got a black friend because the way she's responding's your friend here?

That is giving aunty.

Everybody got a friend on the way that's black?

Yeah, very black, that's white friend on the way.

It's just nonsen enough to be white.

Where I'm just like, no, not no, it's not true.

Yeah, not you because you're here alone, babe.

Yeah.

But also it's like some of these people be holding these seats and it's like your friend, your friend gotta get here, man, at least the show.

We thirty minutes saying your friend just walking in.

Your friend don't deserve a seat, and we just gotta we just got to keep it one thousand.

But there were other seats available, So that means that's.

Crazy because the show was sold out, so I don't know how that was possible.

It was packed to the brim.

Yeah, but this is before the show.

Was this Sydney is ready to fight the mess?

I was.

I was just a little bit because I was like, don't be acting like there was seats available, because they were not, you know.

Okay, yeah, no, yeah, yeah, you gotta your friends got to get there.

They got there shortly after this.

Shortly after.

So was that mess?

I want to see the beige one response, like I wish that there was another email like this.

This stole like she's like avoiding the race.

This woman other woman, Yeah, just wouldn't just took a seat from me at your show.

I mean, I feel like sometimes people gonna butt heads.

But she didn't really do too much.

No, no, no, it was completely verbal.

I'm a little like, it's not worth writing into it's.

Just yeah, it's no.

It's more that it's the mess of being like I want this addressed on air.

I get that Jimmy dragging you baby.

He said, well, don't do it.

At the show.

Yeah, we're not trying to fight.

Yes, So here's another one.

Beyonce mess follow up a mess.

D's sorry for the late update.

Oh yeah, because this was months ago.

I was listening to best Mess and realized that I never replied something that I left out because the email was getting too long.

Yeah you did do four pages, Yes you did.

Was that we were originally planning on staying in a big house together.

We ended up deciding to get multiple places and Birthday Boy a room for himself, so I ended up not having the conversation.

I figured the stakes were much lower now that we could bounce around to our own place.

Birthday Boy kept it cute and we had an amazing time.

It rained during our show and my hair was blown out, so I wasn't able to give the full effect of my planned look, but a time was had.

Nonetheless, Sidney asked how long we had been friends.

It's been almost nine years now.

We have traveled many times together, but the text caught me off guard because I was reading the diva undertones.

He's an amazing person though, and wouldn't trade him for the world.

The bottom picture is of me, and the left one in both pictures is the birthday boy.

Yo.

The birthday boy heard you talk about this on the pod and read you down because you came to fix things.

No, no, no, we had the best time.

It sounded like he was a diva.

But honestly, you know what, I'm so glad that we've been together for nine years.

We traveled all over the world.

I wouldn't trade him for the world.

Birthday Boy read you down?

How dare you?

What happened was is that they decided you to go to the to Beyonce or in Paris, right, But the birthday Boy was like, yeah, we're gonna go to Beyonce in Paris for my birthday, which I feel, Hey, we're going for Beyonce.

We can't make this all about you because it's really about Beyonce.

But the friend was saying, well, we're gonna do this dinner, We're gonna do here.

It's like no, no, no, no, no, no, you get one thing on the trip, yes, for your birthday and then you know, praise be to Beyonce.

And anything that comes in the way of going to Beyonce.

I'm just like you gotta you understand that this is the most expensive part.

This is the centerpiece, right, this is why we're going.

It just happens to fall on or near your birthday, right, I don't know.

Thank you for following up on that and sending photos.

You know, we're visually.

We love.

Everybody looks good, everybody's cute.

It rained and people still are giving I love the long coat, two in the hats.

Wait, there's another one.

Okay, I'm gonna read this one because it's a little bit shorter.

Yeah.

Is it the lgbtqips?

Okay, yeah, hay sid Hey Marie, I love the pod obviously, y'all are so funny.

Anyways, I need to know, am I the mess or am I just an asshole?

So I started dating this man and we went to high school together, so we already knew each other.

He's more of my brother's friend, though I had a crush on him since high school.

But I shot my shot with him back in June because we're both thirty, so why not.

We've been dating for Okay, so high school was a minute ago.

Yeah, miss, we've been dating for a while and everything is going great and we even have trips planned to go on.

He's literally perfect.

However, he has the most annoying baby mama in the world.

She constantly calls him, literally just to start an argument.

She's always calling when we're together, and he refuses to put his phone on silent, and I have to hear it ring while we have sex, and it's pretty much all the time.

It's weird.

Here's why I'm asking if I'm the mess or an asshole.

He's a trans man.

The kid ain't his I know he's been around the kid their whole life, but.

What are we doing?

The kid is about six or seven and told me she had the kid out of spite and cheated on him while they were still together.

So am I messy for wanting him to say?

Fuck her and that kid?

Because why put up with someone who's insane for a kid that's not even yours.

The kid's real dad is not in the picture at all, but she has two other baby daddies that are in the picture.

Okay, love y'all, bye.

Lol.

I think, first of all, I'm like the kid is his.

But I'm also my big thing is he should turn the phone on silent.

Yeah, what's that about, right?

Why are't we be picking up if every time we talk it's an argument.

Yeah, I don't know.

Put her on mute, right, But that's for the kid thing.

I'm just like, no, that says kid.

Yeah.

Well I'm a little like I'm so he's known the kid, the kid's entire life.

The babydady is out of the picture.

I'm like, is this just a step kid?

Yeah, that's not his kid, but you know some people spiritually it is still.

I think even if it's like a step kid, I'm like, if you get attached to this kid, it's fine to be like, that's not your kid, but you also have to accept it.

Like they get to treat it like it's their kid.

You're not about to be blowing my phone up for this step kid.

That's what the kid can call me, you cannot.

Yes, I completely agree with that.

I think I think.

She on d n D delete the baby can call me on the on the big iPad, I hang.

Out sneaking to your man's phone and delete her number, like block to block it.

But it's the you know it's the baby mama.

So you need to be in contact if you want to be Yeah.

Yeah, child's life.

You know.

The baby has an iPad and an iPhone.

Like, the baby can call me, she can when a baby.

How old is this kid?

He said?

Six or seven?

Yeah, that baby's gotten my past.

That baby has a phone.

That baby's got a landline.

Yeah, call that, I want to say.

Because he's not putting her on D and D or whatever or you know, muting her.

It might be some mess.

It might be they It might be more than what's let on.

Because why are you not taking the precautions to make the person you're with right now feel comfortable?

It's giving shade.

D is disrespectful.

So what kind of hours is this baby mama calling?

Yeah?

So she not the baby mama.

She cheated on him out of spite and had this baby D.

Why am I in its?

That's not living?

No, no, that's miss miss miss miss mess mess.

We had a great time.

Did you enjoy it?

I love Yeah, I'm so happy to be here.

Thank you so much.

Having Before you go, please tell me where you got your boots.

I wish I had better answer for this.

I got them in a raffle.

A raffle in San Francisco during the wildfires.

I went to a line dancing thing and they were raffling off boots and this one where they ran new, No, they were used.

They look new on the bottom.

You resold them.

No, I don't know why they look.

It's coming in.

It's coming a little, it's getting in a little.

The bottom looked smooth though on that one too.

Yeah.

Oh damn, I'm not sliding around enough.

I'm going to Houston next week.

I will try to find some cowboy boots.

Yes, you look great in boots.

Thank you?

Yeah, thank you.

Look at that.

I feel like I look great in boots too.

If you love being I think you think that I look good in boots.

I wear a thirty eight aka seven and a half.

You go to European size first.

Oh you know, because you know I just got back from Europe.

Oh god, she summered abroad.

Yeah.

I was there for a week and you know what, my stummered And it's fine.

Then, Yeah, it's anything you feel like people need to know about you before we get out of here.

Yes, I have a special coming out in a month.

Look at that.

Yeah, to drop out it's called Didube is going to do one backflip one yeah, just one, no more.

No less?

And where can people catch the special?

It is on dropout, drop out.

I love this.

We can't wait till watch.

I can't wait for you to see it.

And if you guys have any options for Demmy to get his hair done in New York City, please hit us up with really good references.

Any Burrow Yeah, because he'll go yeah.

Yeah, travel, I'll go to stat No, I'm not.

You don't have to get on the ferry to get your locks.

Done, that's true.

What I need is to put out like like a transparency that's just my head and be like you photoshop a hairstyle on me, and so I can look at it and go, yeah, it's good.

Yeah.

Listen, my girlies in tech and graphic, I need you on mon stem.

I want to see it.

Yeah before we want Yeah, Okay, thank you.

This this is awesome.

Good many Thank you.

Guys.

Continue to leave us reviews and comments and.

Shares and all of that stuff.

We can make it to the top.

Yes, stay messy out there.

It's the holiday season coming up.

It's perfect time to be messy.

Perfect anyway, Goodbye Bye.

Mess with Sydney Washington and Marie Foston is a production by Will Ferrell's Big Money Players and iHeartRadio Podcasts.

Created and hosted by Sidney Washington and Marie Foston.

Executive produced by Olivia Aguilar and Hans Sonny, super produced by Becca Ramos, Edited and mixed by Brian Jeffries.

If you would like your messages read on air, please email us at mess Thepodcast at gmail dot com, or call for your messages to be played at seven six three two eight zero six five eight eight