[SPEAKER_00]: Hey, hey, welcome back to the Brown Girl Self Care podcast.

[SPEAKER_00]: My name is Bree, I'm the host of the show, as well as the founder of Brown Girl Self Care.

[SPEAKER_00]: Brown Girl Self Care is a platform in space of intentional healing, joy, rest, and abundance for black women.

[SPEAKER_00]: Have a quick, blue note.

[SPEAKER_00]: Very quickly, I just want to say, or what's been put into my heart to share, is that there are gonna be times where, [SPEAKER_00]: You need to share your truth, whatever that is.

[SPEAKER_00]: But there's gonna be a time when you need to share your truth so that you can move forward from a certain situation where you are being held back.

[SPEAKER_00]: And you're gonna need to share your truth because there's some shame around that truth.

[SPEAKER_00]: You feel like you're gonna be judged.

[SPEAKER_00]: You feel like, [SPEAKER_00]: You've made so many mistakes and there's no way to come back from it and so you hold on to that truth that thing that's inside of you that you You don't want to share Because again, they're shame or you you feel like you're gonna be judged or You know, maybe it's just even embarrassing whatever that truth is it may even just be something that is embarrassing [SPEAKER_00]: for you.

[SPEAKER_00]: But, you know, what do they say?

[SPEAKER_00]: The truth will set you free.

[SPEAKER_00]: I believe that's the saying, the truth will set you free.

[SPEAKER_00]: I'm speaking from knowledge here or I'm speaking from experience here because I have had to share some hard truths [SPEAKER_00]: Recently and there was some shame around it.

[SPEAKER_00]: There was I don't think there's really fear of judgment because the people that I Or yeah, the people I've shared my truth with two people and There's definitely no judgment behind it.

[SPEAKER_00]: So really wasn't that and that's why I always say by the way That it's important to know who's on your squad.

[SPEAKER_00]: It's important to know who is on your team.

[SPEAKER_00]: It's important to know Who you can go to [SPEAKER_00]: Not necessarily for someone to solve all your problems, it's not that, but just so you can be yourself, drop the mask, share your truth, have someone see an honor, the humanity and you have someone see an honor, your journey, you know, you're unfolding.

[SPEAKER_00]: experience.

[SPEAKER_00]: And so I feel like even though my friendship circle is not huge, I feel like I don't need to have a huge friendship circle.

[SPEAKER_00]: People I can genuinely say, yes, this is my friend.

[SPEAKER_00]: I don't feel like I need to have that.

[SPEAKER_00]: More so what's important to me is who the people actually are.

[SPEAKER_00]: and how they show up for me and how I show up for them.

[SPEAKER_00]: That to me matters more.

[SPEAKER_00]: So anyway, it's important to have that type of community behind you because shit is gonna come up and it can be fast, it can be painful, it can be hard, it can be scary, and what you don't want are people [SPEAKER_00]: have a attitude of see I told you so see I would never do that see you know oh well I have access to this this and this and you should be like me or too bad that you don't have access to this business like there's a lot of ways that it can look right but I'm just saying it's important to know who these people are in your life and make sure that they're the kind of [SPEAKER_00]: person that you need around you so that when you do need to share something, when you do need to, when you're going through some things, you need people that will have your back, okay?

[SPEAKER_00]: You need people that can keep, and also they can keep a real with you, but in a way that makes sense, okay?

[SPEAKER_00]: We need people like that.

[SPEAKER_00]: Anyway, what was I saying?

[SPEAKER_00]: I kind of got sidetracked here, but yeah, I've recently had to share some things, and, and I have, and, [SPEAKER_00]: have to be careful that, or you want to be mindful that you're not sharing to just put all your problems on someone else, it's not that.

[SPEAKER_00]: So there's definitely a fine line.

[SPEAKER_00]: And also, you want people that you can share your truth [SPEAKER_00]: And they know, like, if I need to come, someone to commiserate with me, they can do that.

[SPEAKER_00]: If I just need someone to hold space for that truth, I can say, hey, you know, this is what's going on.

[SPEAKER_00]: But right now, I really just don't want to talk about it.

[SPEAKER_00]: And they're like, okay, say less, they're like, okay, I understand.

[SPEAKER_00]: Because sometimes for me, just being able to express myself, [SPEAKER_00]: outside of a journal situation.

[SPEAKER_00]: If I do a lot of journaling, sometimes you just want to be able to show up and have human to human contact.

[SPEAKER_00]: That can also be a way for you to release.

[SPEAKER_00]: This is why having the right therapist is important.

[SPEAKER_00]: This is why having, again, the right friend circle is important, just being able to show up in your full humanity, which is something that black women, [SPEAKER_00]: Historically, we have not been able to do that, we have not had the space to do that, we have not been afforded the resources to do that, to be able to show up fully in our raw, unedited, you know, messy, whatever truth.

[SPEAKER_00]: We haven't really been able to do that.

[SPEAKER_00]: Black women are always been, we've always been expected to be the martyr, to be the fixer, to be strong, to be resilient, to be able to do all the things and not be supported, to be the nurtureer.

[SPEAKER_00]: Like we've needed to, we've been seen as the nurtureer of others always, you know, even back in, [SPEAKER_00]: in our history.

[SPEAKER_00]: We know that the black woman who was raped, who was violated, who was commodified, who was a child, a childified, is that a word?

[SPEAKER_00]: Whatever.

[SPEAKER_00]: You know what I mean?

[SPEAKER_00]: We have children, a lot of times not by choice, those children restrict away from us [SPEAKER_00]: nectar was forcefully taken from us and given to white children like we we are I'm saying we as if it was me but you know what I mean like our our ancestors we were forced to [SPEAKER_00]: So yeah, black women we have had to mask as a way to survive, but I want to invite you to find a way that feels safe for you.

[SPEAKER_00]: And I know safety can sometimes be hard, which is why safety is going to be one of the focuses for Brown Girls Self Care going forward this year and beyond.

[SPEAKER_00]: But finding ways that feel safer to you to drop the mask, to share your truth.

[SPEAKER_00]: to show up fully in your humanity.

[SPEAKER_00]: Again, even if it's messy, raw, hard, uncomfortable, scary.

[SPEAKER_00]: You know, because that being able to share your truth, it can break some strongholds.

[SPEAKER_00]: Being able to share your truth can break down some walls.

[SPEAKER_00]: Being able to share your truth can clear up some of the path [SPEAKER_00]: that might be like there might there are some things that might be impeding you, you know, on your journey because your journey might be littered with some very hard things that you've been that have either been thrown into the path or you've been shouldering on this journey, your backpack is full of of just all these things and you just have bottled up your truth.

[SPEAKER_00]: And sometimes that [SPEAKER_00]: Hella, it's beyond A-O-K, okay?

[SPEAKER_00]: Your rage, your sadness, your joy, your questioning, your, like all of that is, is a part of your humanity, okay, to be clear.

[SPEAKER_00]: But some of us have been bottling up our truth and you've boggled it up so much that it has hurt you.

[SPEAKER_00]: It has, it, it has hampered you, and I realized that a lot of times we hold things in because again, I don't know if I said this or not, but a lot of times it's been about survival.

[SPEAKER_00]: It's been about survival.

[SPEAKER_00]: But it ends up, to a certain extent, like it ends up after it's been bottled up for so long, even though we've done it for safety, we've been taught that we have to just hold it all in.

[SPEAKER_00]: We've been taught that there's no room for us to fully express ourselves and be ourselves.

[SPEAKER_00]: But after a while, what was meant to help us survive, what was meant to help us stay safe.

[SPEAKER_00]: It can become [SPEAKER_00]: the opposite.

[SPEAKER_00]: It can become the opposite.

[SPEAKER_00]: There's only so long that bottling up your truth for safety.

[SPEAKER_00]: Actually, I guess it's helpful or keeps you safe.

[SPEAKER_00]: So again, I want to stress that it's okay to share your truth.

[SPEAKER_00]: Some of you have been holding on to some things for a very long time.

[SPEAKER_00]: So my biggest advice is in 2026, if this feels like [SPEAKER_00]: I want you to find ways to explore sharing your truth.

[SPEAKER_00]: This can look like, obviously, like I had mentioned earlier, journaling is a great way to share your truth.

[SPEAKER_00]: Obviously, therapy is a great way to share your truth.

[SPEAKER_00]: Again, make sure your inner circle truly is your inner circle.

[SPEAKER_00]: That's a great way to share your truth.

[SPEAKER_00]: But also, if you really don't know what your truth is and you're like, well, I don't really know how to talk about this or share this or I don't know really what to say.

[SPEAKER_00]: Sometimes being able to share a truth can look like doing something creative like art.

[SPEAKER_00]: Sometimes it's just about you allowing yourself to feel [SPEAKER_00]: And art is a great way to do that.

[SPEAKER_00]: And you know, artists free, baby.

[SPEAKER_00]: I'm sure you have some notebooks around the house.

[SPEAKER_00]: I'm sure you have some form of like a few pens.

[SPEAKER_00]: Maybe a black pen and a blue pen and a purple pen or some pencils or highlighters or, [SPEAKER_00]: scissors and glue sticks and old magazines or newspaper clippings or whatever whatever it is, there are ways for you to express yourself creatively and again, I find that being able to do that when I know there's something like stuck inside but I don't really know, like I'm not clear on what it is or [SPEAKER_00]: I just know that something needs to be expressed, be able to do something with your hands like art, or other ways that you can express yourself.

[SPEAKER_00]: That can be really helpful as well.

[SPEAKER_00]: You know, this year, I feel like it's going to be an interesting year for many of us, myself included.

[SPEAKER_00]: I'm in a place of transition, a new chapter, a new season of my life, not only did I turn 50 this year, but last year, as you may or may not know, I ended up completely overhauling my life, moving from California to Arkansas, going to be living on a, I'll call it a [SPEAKER_00]: You know, as much as things have been good, there have been some hard things as well.

[SPEAKER_00]: And so, I feel like I'm in this valley currently.

[SPEAKER_00]: And I know that that's just life and life be life in.

[SPEAKER_00]: So if you're in a valley right now and you're not at a peak or even at a, what's it called, like a middle, not a peak or a valuable, just kind of like a middle, whatever, I don't know what the heck it's called.

[SPEAKER_00]: If you're in a valley right now, [SPEAKER_00]: you know it can feel very hard it can feel very hard and you don't like if you're like me if you're wired like me based on your childhood traumas you don't want to complain to anyone you don't want to talk about things to anyone you don't want to share with anyone because you don't want to be seen as a burden you don't want to be seen as a problem you don't want to you know you just don't want to really make any waves and so what happens is you just [SPEAKER_00]: And it just becomes this heavy weight that feels almost impossible to bear, you know.

[SPEAKER_00]: And I just don't want that for me, which is why I shared my truth.

[SPEAKER_00]: And I journal another things.

[SPEAKER_00]: I don't want that for you.

[SPEAKER_00]: And I don't want that for us collectively.

[SPEAKER_00]: So, hence, or thus.

[SPEAKER_00]: why I made this quick little bloom note.

[SPEAKER_00]: So I just grabbed my phone and the quality may not be the best, but it is what it is.

[SPEAKER_00]: Sometimes when a word needs to go out, it just needs to go out.

[SPEAKER_00]: I'm not doing the whole perfectionism thing.

[SPEAKER_00]: Definitely not doing the whole perfectionism thing.

[SPEAKER_00]: So it is what it is.

[SPEAKER_00]: If you don't, if it doesn't resonate with you, then it just doesn't resonate with you.

[SPEAKER_00]: And that means it's not for you.

[SPEAKER_00]: Um, so yeah, girl, just just that truth, you know, just that truth is something that we, we need and, um, again, eight no shame in that, right?

[SPEAKER_00]: And I'm sharing this with you because I want you to know that, you know, those, those peaks and valleys, those highs and lows.

[SPEAKER_00]: you think that it's just you and you're in isolated case or there's something wrong with you or you're just not doing enough or you're not good enough or you know you always mess it up I just want you to know whatever it is like those thoughts that you're thinking like that's just not that's not facts that's not facts a lot of us we're going through something or we will go through something this year you know that's just what it is so you're not alone [SPEAKER_00]: I feel you, I see you, I want to continue sharing my truth that you know that I'm healing right alongside you.

[SPEAKER_00]: This journey is imperfect, healing is not a straight line, it's not linear, just like life is not a straight line, it's not always linear, there's going to be some bumps and extreme highs and just just shenanigans and hard times, you know, and that's [SPEAKER_00]: a big part of, of, of just existing here, you know.

[SPEAKER_00]: So that's really all that I wanted to share today on this quick little blue note.

[SPEAKER_00]: If you want to carry this further, you can always book a one-on-one session with me.

[SPEAKER_00]: We can talk through some things.

[SPEAKER_00]: We can make some next steps, just email me at excuse me, connect that browngirlsselfcare.com.

[SPEAKER_00]: Again, that's connect CO in ECT at browngirlsselfcare.com or there will be a link in the [SPEAKER_00]: get on my calendar, okay?

[SPEAKER_00]: All right, so I was thinking about you, so I made this quick little recording.

[SPEAKER_00]: I will see you on the next episode of the Brown Row Self Care podcast.

[SPEAKER_00]: Take care.