Justin: That you can line up with a legitimate version of the film.

Justin: So that way this won't be such an issue, but we'll try it anyway.

Justin: Three, two, one, go.

Justin: Okay.

Jay: They don't do like production company intros like this anymore.

Justin: They don't?

I don't really notice.

Sadie: We lost something when they stopped.

Jay: Yeah.

Justin: It's because I'm mostly watching older movies with you So every time I see a Justin: new movie It's from like 1987.

Jay: Don't read me like this James got called out You'll watch Orson Welles movies and you'll like it, Jay: But, Jay: I fucking love Lady Bunny.

Justin: I love this animation It's always so ball fighter for the Sega Genesis animation.

Jay: Apparently Parker Posey plays this southern lady in White Lotus or something.

Jay: And everyone's all obsessed with her.

And I'm like, bitch, go watch Party Girl.

Justin: Yeah, because people know this movie.

It's not just librarians who love this movie.

Jay: Yeah, my roommate loves this movie.

Justin: Yeah.

Justin: There she is.

Justin: Thank you, Anna.

Sadie: Bye, babe.

Jay: I want to know whose aunt was a librarian and inspired them to make this movie.

Justin: Yeah, I think it wasn't...

I don't know if it was anyone's...

Justin: Because we looked this up when we did the Party Girl episode.

Justin: The one thing that I like is...

Justin: I thought I'd find him.

Carl.

But yeah, like, a lot of the clothes were, Justin: like, borrowed and all the people in the party scenes are just local clubbers and stuff.

It's...

Jay: Yeah.

Justin: It's very charming.

Jay: Yeah, but I'm just like, why did they pick librarians?

You know, that's what I meant.

Justin: Yeah.

I've never been able to, like, figure figure out who was like related Justin: to a librarian i think they were just like no this is it just the opposite of being.

Jay: A party girl is being a librarian i guess if i.

Justin: Had the money i would give it to you i just i like how this movie is about like Justin: a straight relationship and then everything about it everything else about it Justin: is gay like if you describe this movie on a paper, Justin: it's like a former teacher and a library page fall in love, and the happy ending is grad school.

Justin: You wouldn't expect the rest of this movie.

Justin: Guillermo Diaz is so fun in this movie.

Justin: I don't know if it's because he's so young, but I feel like they could have Justin: gotten a little more out of him.

Justin: Every time I rewatch it, I'm like, yeah, he could have been a little like a Justin: love rival or something.

Justin: A little more, Justin: Pyrated video cassettes, Justin: I love it, that's one of the charges I know Sadie.

Jay: I was just looking at them.

Sadie: They're great Half my commentary on this is just going to be the close I mean that's valid.

Jay: You're so valid This is a fashion run, Jay: Mary?

Mary your goddaughter Mary.

Justin: Mary prison but it won't happen again, Justin: the.

Jay: Listeners can't see but I gagged by this outfit that Parker Posey's wearing, Jay: little rainbow purse.

Sadie: I like how she has to hold the thing closed Like the leopard print jacket.

Justin: Excuse, Justin: They put toothpicks in falafel.

Jay: Don't put toothpicks in your falafel dude These white gentrifiers of falafel Jay: Can I have a falafel with hot sauce A side order of baba ganoush and a seltzer Please Hold the tube I.

Sadie: Love baba ganoush.

Jay: I love baba ganoush.

Sadie: Still 99 cents Do you like this kind of music?

Jay: Sure, what kind of music?

I like that kind of music It's.

Justin: From the Middle East It's a very sad, very beautiful song Thanks.

Jay: Hey, Turkish Delight.

Are you from Turkey?

Me, no.

I'm from Lebanon.

Jay: So where's Lebanese Delight?

You want Lebanese Delight?

Yeah, I do.

Jay: If it's him.

The way you say Lebanon in Arabic is Lubnan.

Fun fact.

Sadie: The graffiti-fronted library.

Jay: Is your Arabic fun fact with Jay?

there will be several of those in this episode, Jay: kids.

Excuse me, could you tell me where I could find Judy Lindendorf?

Jay: Lindendorf is such a great last name.

Jay: Sounds like a type of cheese.

Hannah Arendt, the historian.

Of course.

Justin: Over there you'll find the 300s social...

I like how they choose what books Justin: they bring up in the movie directly to show people's personalities.

Jay: Hannah Arendt.

Justin: Excuse me, where's Hannah Arendt?

Justin: And then she's obsessed with Camus.

Jay: Okay, 100 bucks Now that should do until my cash flow situation.

Justin: Clears up 80 80 Her enemy.

Sadie: The stink eye.

Justin: In the TV show.

Jay: I love her fucking cravat.

Justin: It's like a I got a pearl clasp it's a cravat pin you swine, Justin: how does it function what does it do.

Jay: It pins, Jay: it's like a tie pin.

Justin: I am not a waitress alright then why don't you try to get a job at a cleaning Justin: shop do you realize how broke I am what.

Jay: European political thought in general, or is it a particular vendetta against Jay: Hannah Arendt?

Excuse me.

Hannah Arendt.

Sadie: Every single Hannah Arendt book on the shelf was out of sequence.

Jay: I am so sorry.

Sequence.

It's like, on the ass, it's like sequence.

Sadie: What a dick.

He's not a dick.

Jay: This is why libraries don't like to collect manga.

Because things get out of Jay: sequence.

to pay them a competitive wage.

Justin: They make more money at McDonald's.

He's not a dick.

He's a patron.

Jay: Yeah, he's a dick.

Yeah.

Sadie: Not mutually exclusive, actually.

Justin: You think I couldn't be a librarian?

It's a good way of looking at it, Justin: though.

We love our patrons.

Jay: And also their dicks, you know?

Sadie: Yep.

Jay: Even a clerk will merely shelves and stamps.

You think I couldn't be a library clerk?

Justin: Work in your fucking library i think you're.

Sadie: Ashamed of me judy you're my only family and you're ashamed of me fine you can Sadie: start right now fine i will great wanda this is my goddaughter mary she's our newest clerk.

Justin: In the tv show they they i assume you're familiar with they just do something Justin: so strange with their dynamic.

Jay: I want them to kiss.

Justin: Which is already strange in this movie.

Dun, dun, dun.

Jay: Libraries are a prison.

This is me going in Foucault mode.

Justin: Mm-hmm.

Ooh, get another joke.

Ghouls are a prison.

Justin: Libraries are a prison.

And then it just goes...

Justin: Can you believe me?

Justin: The purple and the red always throws me.

Sadie: Something's different.

Where'd you put the Gautier jacket?

Behind a newly expanded...

Jay: Oh, I love Gautier.

Sadie: ...section right here, hiding such scavengers as yourself.

Jay: And my head's shaking...

That's just me.

I'm like, where's the Gautier jacket?

Sadie: ...like the same dream every night.

Maybe I'll rent this place out and start an aerobics center.

Sadie: Pack this place in.

20 bucks a head.

Mr.

Lew's got his rat.

Sadie: I've got new clothes.

And Leo.

Sadie: And one and two and shoulders back and down and up and up.

I thought you did Sadie: a good job.

Oh, God, don't remind me.

Justin: She just starts treating Leo like a pet.

Jay: Yeah, Jay: I can't see you in the library.

The head librarian was a friend.

Justin: Of my mother.

Justin: Did you see she has a matching hat for the leopard coat or cheetah coat?

Sadie: That's why she only takes public transportation.

Sadie: Don't mix those up.

What, Sadie: Yes, Derek, they're jeans and they're in order.

Don't mix them up.

Jay: She'd be a great cataloger.

Justin: Never mind, it's a flower hat.

Jay: Why is his shirt tucked into his pants like that?

Justin: He's like a nerd.

Jay: The 90s were a mistake.

Justin: People used to tell you to tuck your shirt in all the way into the 2000s.

Justin: They're just like, should never be untucked.

Jay: This is me at every conference I go to where I dance with the old ladies who Jay: want people to dance with them, but no one does.

Jay: At least at music library conferences, there's always like a swing dance, Jay: and then there's always like old ladies that are like, dance, Jay: and nobody wants to dance.

So I was like, I'll dance with the old lady.

Jay: And then they're like, oh, you're such a good dancer.

I'm like, thank you.

Justin: Is the music library conferences?

Jay: Yeah, that's what I said.

Justin: Okay.

I didn't know if he said music conferences or music library, Justin: because I just hear library all the time.

Jay: I've never been to a music conference.

Justin: Yo, what the fuck, Ash?

Moving, man, I'm with her.

Oh, yeah, Justin: right.

Me off, man.

Come on, with her.

With the rest of us, motherfucker.

Sadie: Nigel, this is Leo.

Justin: Leo, Nigel.

Oh, they have matching coats.

Maybe we met at the shower.

Justin: Shower?

What shower?

At the party.

Remember the shower?

Justin: You did it again?

What?

You pissed at my shower again, Nigel?

That's it.

It's over.

Jay: Exactly.

I don't care.

Nigel, that's it.

It's over.

It's over.

Why?

Justin: Because.

The sink was busy.

Mm-hmm.

Sadie: Nigel, a woman can go out with a guy who's smart, funny, intelligent, and.

Jay: By virtue of the fact that she goes out and goes out with a place, Jay: it's so hard.

Fuck, cruisin' for a cruiser.

She sounds like those like finance bros.

Sadie: I love the little shit eating grin.

Sadie: Oh, get him off.

Somebody help!

Hey!

Sadie: Married!

Does it mean we're not getting married?

Jay: Not getting married today.

Thank you for coming to the wedding.

Jay: I can never do that Patter song.

Jay: Have you seen people do the Not Getting Married Today song from Company?

It's insane.

Jay: When you give her the tape, just be very straightforward and don't talk about money.

Jay: What's up, Buttercup?

The rent, I'm not paying.

Why didn't you tell her you Jay: were spinning out of London in the fall?

It's a different musical.

Jay: I don't know, make something odd.

Why did I leave?

Jay: We all improvise.

You got sick of the London street fashion.

Justin: All those hats.

Justin: Your tape is good.

I'm glad we...

She's the one who tells him to say he was in London.

Jay: Yeah.

I'm really glad that we got over Electro Swing as a society.

Justin: Just don't be with her, and then you talk to her.

There's some good remixes Justin: that come through every once in a while.

Jay: No.

Jay: You can't vote to Elektra Swing.

Justin: Leo is me whenever some drunk person in a bar asked me to hold something.

Justin: I'm like, this is about to go in the trash.

We'll be back.

Justin: say?

When?

Before.

I don't remember.

Yes, you do.

I don't remember.

Justin: The disco ball necklaces.

And then you started to say sometimes you can be and Justin: then you stopped.

Forget it.

Why is he wearing dog tags?

Jay: Because it's the 90s.

Justin: I'm thinking of that as more as like a post-9-11 thing.

Jay: Desert Storm happened in the 90s.

Justin: Yeah, I guess that's her.

Yeah.

I guess that's when that started.

Jay: Yeah, that's what wore my dad's event in, is Desert Storm.

Justin: Got Desert Storm trading cards.

Jay: I'm glad we don't want to do this shit anymore.

You should hear my professor Jay: on the subject.

Oh, I can imagine.

Jay: Mary had difficulty with the alphabet.

Justin: Oh, really?

I was six.

She'd say...

I was six.

All your E's looked like threes.

She overcame it.

Jay: I got to use the microfiche catalog at work to look at scanned catalog cards.

It was so cool.

Sadie: Nice.

Jay: Yeah.

I got to have my own little sexy microfiche montage.

It was great.

Jay: There's one like in my department.

Justin: Were they making cards?

Jay: There's something.

They were like stamping cards.

I think for like ILL or transfers or something.

Jay: It's me, Mary.

Justin: Okay.

Jay: Did she say that right?

Jay: They're just speaking like really formally.

Sadie: Do you think she got that from the library, guys?

Justin: Yeah, that's exactly where she got the idea.

Sadie: And she's bending it all the way in half?

Justin: This is no good.

What are you talking about?

Jay: So the way you like greet in arabic is you Jay: go sabah here um and Jay: then the other person goes sabahan noor but if Jay: it's at night time you go masakh here and the other person Jay: goes masakh noor would you like some hot sauce with your uh Jay: and then keif or halik or halik is uh like how are you um ik or ak is the ending Jay: that says you no no no no brothers sisters yes me mary is my name is mary she.

Justin: Was introducing herself.

Jay: Yeah whoa or Jay: you could go anna is me the e Jay: ending is the personal possessive ism Jay: ism is name so is me is my name and there's no Coppola Coppola in Arabic like Jay: there's not in Japanese so there's no like there kind of is but you don't really say like, Jay: my name is something is just my name and then oh okay here we go Okay, um, Eid.

Jay: In modern standard, it's Yed.

Jay: I don't remember that one.

Eid, yep.

It's short.

I'm short too, though, right?

Jay: Shvaft.

Shvaft.

Mouth is also, um, Jay: uh, thumb, something like that.

Jay: Dialects are fun.

What did we just say?

You just agreed to have dinner with me on Friday.

Yay.

Jay: What's-his-name doesn't she like to?

I'm going home.

I love this outfit.

Sadie: So good.

Jay: Tomorrow night's thing at a rose compoio Wednesday's pubic this is what I'm transitioning into, Jay: I'm just this dude with longer hair Colin I connected that night from the essence Jay: from the ancient center of our beings two of you are in ecstasy it dries out your spinal cord, Jay: watch the door, Jay: Derek.

Justin: Do you think I'd make a good...

I like his belt buckle.

Yeah, Justin: come on.

Derek, do you think I'd make a good lighter?

Justin: Yeah, would you hurry up?

Justin: Derek, do you think I'd make a good actress?

His earring's in his right ear.

He's not you.

Jay: No, he is.

The right ear is the bottom.

Justin: Oh, yeah, you're right.

Jay: I can't get caught shoplifting.

Jay: Although I have things in both my ears right now because I'm stretching my earlobes.

Jay: But I'm going to, after I get my surgery Monday, I'm going to eventually see Jay: about getting my right tragus pierced.

Justin: Hello, Chanel.

Justin: You and your tragus.

Jay: I love this shirt, too.

Sadie: Pardon?

Origins and feces.

Justin: Oranges and peaches.

Why don't you look over there?

Jay: Under periodicals under food.

Justin: That's why you ask a follow-up question.

Jay: Reference interview.

Maybe it's on microfiche, which is down the hall.

Jay: She hasn't gone to library school.

Jay: She hasn't learned about the reference interview yet.

...of species.

Jay: She looks so dumb.

Always looking down, please, dear.

Patrons often mistake clerks for, Jay: That's true.

Jay: Howard, Ann, and I thought.

Sadie: Cold when you're.

Justin: Finished with those how much Camus could they need, Justin: yeah no it's the scene the.

Sadie: Most cringeworthy scene in the entire movie.

Jay: Like, there's some bad Orientalism in this movie, but I am actively calling Edward Said right now.

Jay: My man is dead, but I am calling him anyway.

Jay: Oh.

Justin: It always goes longer than you think it is.

Jay: It's so bad.

Jay: No.

Don't.

Don't do this.

Jay: Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

Jay: She's just doing, like, really racist voguing.

Like, it's real bad.

Jay: Is it over yet?

Oh, fuck.

Sadie: Is the egg carton on fire?

Jay: I think it was.

Justin: Yeah, it's smoke coming out of the oven.

Jay: Sometimes it amazes me how bad people can be at cooking.

Jay: It's not that bad.

Just scrape it.

I don't know.

Cooking's easy.

Jay: You just follow directions.

Sadie: It's not that bad.

Just scrape it.

It's a real poor kid's sentence right there.

Jay: Just follow the instructions.

Supermarket on Avenue D.

Jay: It's Vicki's wedding reception.

You're dead on that building.

Jay: My grandma taught me how to read recipe cards as a kid.

Jay: And like, this is how you follow a recipe.

And I went, okay.

Jay: And that's how I learned how to cook.

You just follow a fucking recipe.

Jay: What does our life mean?

You gotta read all the ingredients.

Jay: If there is no God.

And you get shit together and you read through the recipe Jay: once to make sure you know what you're doing.

And then you do it.

Oh.

Jay: Did she read the book?

He'd walk back down the mountain, and he'd do it all over again.

Forever.

Jay: Drag.

It's a metaphor for life, Leo.

It's famous.

Sadie: Says a woman who didn't know what it was 24 hours ago.

Justin: I think she did read.

Yeah.

Sadie: Oh, yeah, she's got it.

Sadie: One must imagine Sisyphus.

Jay: But he doesn't have to be.

he accepts his fate he you're telling me that if Jay: your name was syphilis and.

Sadie: You spent your life lugging a fucking rock up a hill you wouldn't be.

Justin: Miserable i think i'm an existentialist, Justin: hey nigel i'm looking for renee bet you two go at it like bunnies me and renee you and mary.

Jay: All Shacked up and cosy, eh?

No, I'm just here until I find the place.

Jay: All shacked up and cosy, eh?

Justin: Where's my mocktail?

My mocktail.

Justin: Where have you worked?

Me?

Well, um...

I've been working in London.

Justin: did you spin?

Well, I was working at this club.

It's called, um...

Justin: Fish and Chips.

Never heard of it.

Where is it?

no it it's um it's near, Justin: it's pretty good.

Sadie: It's the name of a band, Sadie: how's your upper torso out.

Sadie: and right.

Nine o'clock, no pay.

It's a tryout.

Okay.

Justin: Stand up for yourself, Leo.

You should get paid for work.

Sadie: Play anything written or produced by Teddy Rogers.

His music is not played in my club.

Sadie: Patient chips!

Sadie: You think she's happy?

She probably is.

She likes young boys.

Justin: She really does.

I want those boots.

Justin: This is like entirely my style Boots.

Justin: me?

Um, no.

I'll see you later.

I've got a date tonight.

Justin: That's kind of Bootsy-like.

I know it is not your life's work.

Sadie: But for your information, the hairpiece.

Dora is not a biography.

Sadie: It is the cornerstone of his psychoanalysis.

Jay: Recode it.

Sadie: The paperclip necklace.

Justin: I may have made a mistake, but that is no reason to patronize me.

Justin: It is dismaying that your expectations are based on the performance of a lesser primate.

Jay: Of an antiquated and idiotic system?

I think not.

She's cooking.

Sadie: Fuck you.

Really, hold it.

You'd really love my mother.

You wouldn't treat me like this.

Justin: That's what you had to do in bars before phones.

Justin: Just stare into the distance.

That's stogie.

Sadie: Breaking in via the fire escape, classic.

Jay: It amazes me that the window wouldn't be locked.

Sadie: Other than I need to use wild time.

Jay: Like, where's the facilities, people?

Where's the security?

Sadie: Her leaving it unlocked would suggest foresight, and I think the whole point Sadie: of the scene is that she did not have that.

Justin: I got the Suzy Mother Goose, both did their thing It's open!

Justin: Omar Alan Gurley, Justin: I just realized they set this record thing up earlier Because he asked, do you like this music?

Justin: So I assume it's one of his songs Yeah, Justin: It's the kind of things I don't pick up on Until I've seen the movie about eight Justin: times I just have no retention of what happens in movies yeah well.

Jay: If you spin yes I know I'm a DJ at.

Justin: Renee's the hottest club the hottest how did I find it yeah I'm Oh, good.

You know.

Sadie: That whole library is going to smell.

Jay: Libraries smell like weed anyway.

Sadie: That's a good point.

Do we?

Jay: Everybody smokes weed in the library.

Justin: People got mad at me for saying I was smoking weed in the BPL bathroom on Blue Sky.

Jay: People are fucking nerds on Blue Sky.

Justin: And then the mayor's communications director followed me.

Jay: Not you, mate.

Step aside.

Justin: This is Maid Marion.

How you doing, love?

Hey, Naji.

Jay: It looks like Kamala Harris.

Sadie: It really does.

Jay: It really does.

Sadie: Please do not eat smoke or drink in the stacks of the library rolls up with Sadie: a joint and a beer i need some patrons.

Jay: Like that, Jay: classification i'm not even good at the dewey decimal system that was like in Jay: cataloging like i always grasped library of congress okay and then like dewey Jay: decimal i was like what the fuck is this shit?

Justin: Those introductory essays in the cataloging rules are always like a trip.

They're pretty good.

Jay: I never had to read those.

Sadie: Love at first sight.

I mean, to be fair, she is hot.

Justin: Mmm.

Sadie: Tell me Since you left me Hey.

Justin: Believe in me, believe, in me.

Justin: Training montage.

Oh, my gosh.

Justin: see the little book hiding behind the two stacks.

Sadie: I know what's going on.

Yes, I do.

Sadie: You've been hurt before.

You've been hurt before.

You've been hurt before.

Jay: You've got to keep going.

Hurt before.

you gotta have the books flush with the edge of the shelf.

Sadie: Not shoved all the way back.

Jay: Not shoved all the way back.

Justin: The books just squished in.

Sadie: Yeah.

Jay: God, that would happen with the really thin music scores all the time and they Jay: would just get pushed back.

Justin: Yeah, you got to put thin stuff like that in filing cabinets or something.

Jay: No, they were in pamphlet binders.

It's just so many of them were crammed into Jay: a shelf that they would get like, Jay: and they were like thicker on one side than on the other because of like the Jay: thickness of like the pan binding.

I think how that works.

Jay: And so like, yeah.

Jay: You put them in pan binders so that they can be on the shelf.

Sadie: What I thought I'd never see.

Sadie: fire You give me fire Fire You might.

Justin: Be in there, boy.

Venus!

Sadie: Venus what?

Just Venus!

Sadie: Love, love To be loved That is kind of cute.

Not gonna lie.

Jay: It's extremely cute.

Justin: Cow.

Justin: Excuse me.

Sadie: What are you doing?

Sadie: Is that the Hannah or Rent guy?

Justin: I think it is.

Justin: It looked like you were just...

Eh, maybe not.

His hair looks a little different.

Justin: It would make more sense for him to be the one who is screwing up the shelves later.

Jay: Yeah.

Randomly putting that book.

Justin: On the shelf, is that it?

Sadie: You've just given us a great idea.

I mean, why are we.

Jay: Wasting our time with the Dewey Decimal System when your system is so much easier?

Jay: Why are we wasting time with the Dewey Decimal System, to be honest?

Hear that, everybody?

Justin: Our friend here has been waiting for us.

It's hard to replace.

Sadie: Little too hard in the other direction, girl.

We don't care!

Sadie: Right?

Isn't that right?

You haven't taken a break all morning.

Jay: Take a break.

I just want to do a good job.

Take your break.

Jay: are they unionized it's.

Sadie: A good manager.

Jay: I think the nypl is union, Jay: but maybe only recently i don't know i'm not the case nypl union, Jay: Yeah, New York Public Library, good local 1930 They are AFSCME, Jay: They've been around since 1968 Are you okay?

Jay: No, it's not like it'll pass.

Oh, Jay: or something.

Don't be silly.

No, you need a doctor.

It is.

Jay: So yes, they were Union When this movie was made, Jay: They're Union president, Jay: in 1993 I just wish you would hurry up and have done with it it's been two years right.

Justin: Is that normal the tears don't mean anything I don't know.

Jay: Well anyway Raymond Markey was union president from 1992, Jay: to 2004 which is bad you shouldn't be union president for that long that's an Jay: undemocratic union I'm calling you out in my PL Local Librarians Guild 1930.

Jay: You went to your boyfriend's concert.

It's over a decade.

Jay: something outlandish and the police came but you all didn't care because you.

Justin: Were all young look.

Jay: You need the union president institutional.

Justin: You need that institutional power so that you can hire goons you know how i know you.

Jay: Are just like your mother their president before that was Marion Porro from 1980 to 1992.

Jay: Also too long.

Jay: You need a rank and file caucus to reform.

Justin: A pita to something?

Sadie: The fact that none of these like food people are wearing gloves is bothering me as a former I mean.

Jay: Wearing gloves, depending on the environment, is worse than just having clean Jay: hands.

Because the gloves get dirty.

Sadie: Yeah.

Jay: I used to work in restaurants.

You don't wear gloves in restaurants, really.

Jay: You just make sure you have clean hands, because you're touching...

Sadie: Depends on the...

Jay: Yeah.

I don't agree with this, so can you go?

Justin: Yeah.

Yeah, I don't like wearing gloves in kitchen.

Jay: People usually get worse hygiene practices when they're wearing gloves because Jay: they feel like, oh, my hands are clean, I'm wearing gloves, and so they touch more shit.

Sadie: That's why you're supposed to change them out between every task.

Can I have a falafel?

Jay: Oh.

I ordered baba ghanoush and a seltzer, please.

Jay: Next time I go to a falafel place, I'm going to get falafel with hot sauce aside Jay: of baba ghanoush and a seltzer.

Sadie: I really want baba ghanoush now.

Jay: I know, me too.

Jay: There's this Middle Eastern place near the library that's apparently owned by Jay: Lebanese-Palestinian folks, and they got Baba Ganesh there.

Jay: They go blind.

Jay: They stick mascara and.

Sadie: Blind.

Sadie: How can we be blind to their innocent silent screams?

Jay: It's so pure.

Justin: Rabbits can scream.

Justin: Ask.

Jay: Justin how he knows this Justin's like Actually incorrect.

Justin: I've never had a rabbit scream What sort of a name is that?

And what you doing Justin: going out with foreigners anyway?

But that's why you can't have a kettle.

Jay: You never point a knife at somebody This is America You speak English I'm just Jay: yelling at people Don't fucking point a knife at a person.

Justin: What's his shirt?

I dreamed I.

Jay: Was I don't know, Jay: She went chainmail That little shit I'll rip his balls off Leo!

Jay: I was all, honey, please.

It wasn't even published in Cuba.

Okay.

It's a conspiracy.

Sadie: Pantsuit She's upgraded.

Jay: She's in that wheelie chair There's tons of studies on twins But these focus solely.

Justin: Can help you.

Bye.

Justin: Judy says.

Jay: That doesn't mean it's the only thing I can do.

And don't give me that.

Jay: You're only a clerk, Rap.

Jay: Because Juan is only a clerk.

You've got her doing the Scientific American Overhaul.

Jay: And you invited her to that acquisitions conference.

She's always at.

Sadie: Since I...

Since we had that problem.

It was my first week, Judy.

Shh.

Sadie: Maybe I do treat you differently.

Okay.

But that's because I'm concerned.

Sadie: you knew my mother?

Big deal.

So did I.

She was a woman with no common sense.

Sadie: Judy, there's no reason to judge me all the time.

Everybody here sees it.

Ask Caroline.

Sadie: Ask Anne.

Judge.

Ask Wanda.

You.

Jay: Who's intimidating, Judy.

I try to do, I try to do a good job here.

Jay: You don't even see it.

You don't even care.

Of course I care.

Jay: But the fact of the matter is, I have known you since the.

Justin: Come here every day, and I don't know the first thing about you.

Justin: I like how it shows that both of them are really bad at making their relationship work.

Justin: Your life, your friends.

My.

Sadie: I'm here in the library.

I usually go to the 8.

Sadie: I go earlier.

You should check out the eight beautiful people.

I bet.

Sadie: I connect with that meeting, you know?

There are a lot of people at the eight whose issues...

Sadie: But today...

Justin: I'm Renee.

And I'm a goddamn alcoholic.

Sadie: I like how chill they all are.

Hi, I'm Mary.

Justin: I'm sorry, I need a drink.

Sadie: I know I hurt you boy Calafal montage.

Justin: Can I have a calafal montage?

I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

Sadie: I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

Sadie: Are those purple tights with purple knee-high socks over them, Sadie: or are they tights that are made to look like knee-high socks?

Justin: I don't know.

Sadie: The Adidas heels.

Justin: I know I want to dance.

Justin: I like the block.

I'm sorry.

Jay: I hate that stupid hat.

Justin: The pilgrim hat.

Sadie: So bad.

Jay: It's not a pilgrim hat.

Justin: It's just bad.

A pilgrim hat, a beanie.

Sadie: A skirt to match the rainbow purse.

Sadie: I'd like my free pita.

You want pita?

Sadie: I know how you feel, buddy.

Think I don't get this down on the job?

Sadie: It's violating.

Hot days, you gotta strip down.

Sadie: Hey.

Justin: Good evening, Leo.

The jeans are good.

Where's my crate?

Sadie: What the fuck?

Yo, why is this on?

Jay: I hate this scene.

What happened?

Justin: 500's tribal.

Sadie: What?

Jay: Surprise!

Justin: I always mean to show this scene to Audrey.

Jay: There was a stack right here.

This scene makes me so mad.

But they're organized Jay: by the Dewey Decimal System, which is perfect.

Jay: Fuck the Dewey Decimal System.

Yeah, seriously.

Justin: Which is not made for music.

Jay: No, it's not.

Jay: And then he doesn't know it.

They were in order.

Jay: Jesus, look, I gotta be honest.

Yeah, they were in order.

And you totally fucked my albums.

Justin: The only thing useful she did is put the stickers on.

Bitch.

Jay: Yeah.

Fucking bitch.

You have ruined my life, you know that?

Justin: You've ruined my fucking life.

This is what I imagine whenever someone's like, Justin: what's a good system for organizing a personal library?

Justin: And I'm like you're going to do this and you shouldn't do this.

Jay: Yeah.

Also, hot take, this is just what most reparative cataloging projects Jay: are.

Tribal, sleaze, disco.

Jay: Those are further subdivided.

Jay: Is catalogers imposing a system without actually consulting communities?

Jay: The red sticker means that Teddy Rogers worked on it.

That's a no-no.

Jay: We know that.

It's your number two pencil.

Jay: I mean, like, this is the words that's right.

It's over.

Jay: It's like, did you ask a person?

Or is that what you think is right?

Jay: Use our caps.

It's the latter most of the time.

Justin: So it's just cataloging with, like, people first language as a whole driving ideology?

Yeah.

Jay: Okay, here we go.

Justin: I would love to do people first language with like reclaimed slurs.

Jay: I love Sylvester.

I'm glad he's been Sylvester.

Jay: Disco classics?

Jay: I guess.

Jay: He starts getting into like the high energy genre though.

Jay: And worked with Patrick Cowley a lot.

Jay: Yeah, he just created a pull list.

He didn't find any of that shit.

She did.

Sadie: I really don't understand the point of this scene.

It's just awkward.

Jay: Like, yeah, I'll shower naked with my friends, but I'm gay.

We do that.

Jay: Leo, I've got to take a shower.

Justin: Leo, I've got to get to work early today.

Justin: This is my goddamn apartment.

Sadie: This is my goddamn shower, Leo.

I'm getting it.

This is my goddamn water.

Justin: Leo.

Leo, this isn't funny.

That's my shampoo.

You have the cheap.

Jay: 99 set type.

I have the expensive type.

It's mine.

That's not funny.

Jay: You missed the obvious joke to squirt it on her, right?

Justin: Mm-hmm.

Jay: You gotta have, like, a visual cum shot in a scene like this.

Sadie: Incest.

Jay: Have a good night.

Justin: Howard.

Incest.

I will.

Justin: Why do you turn the lights off if they're still open?

Can I help you?

Justin: Yes, I'm looking for information on teaching.

Justin: Remember to turn off all the computers and close all the windows.

Oh, they are closed.

Justin: I always thought she was signaling him to not send him over.

Justin: Sir, uh, excuse me, miss?

Jay: Yeah, this is when they fuck in the romance languages section, right?

Sadie: Yep.

They ruin a first edition.

Jay: Why do they have a first edition just out?

That's their own goddamn fault.

Jay: That kid could have sneezed on it.

It's updated yearly.

Justin: For New York City.

It also gets sun damage.

Jay: Yeah, no shit.

check the most recent amendments to like yeah the nypl has some Jay: like they've got like a gutenberg, Jay: um that's like out where people can look at it like outside of the rose room, Jay: um don't like it.

Justin: Baby salanda milk and honey salanda milk and honey.

Sadie: I like how he's suddenly like attracted to her again and he's like as soon as Sadie: he finds out she's a librarian for some reason like this is part of the classism.

Justin: In this movie it's kind of weird, Justin: so like just a clerk and he's not a food vendor he's a former teacher right he.

Sadie: Can't just be.

Jay: A falafel vendor right.

Sadie: For some reason that reminds me of the time a guy in the drive-thru the worker Sadie: the taco bell drive-thru was like oh yeah you're that hot librarian and i was Sadie: like this is not the time nor place do.

Justin: Hot librarians get uh free uh churros.

Sadie: I i did not it was i want free nacho fries i know you can only call me that Sadie: if i'm getting something out of it right.

Jay: Like i want my goddamn nacho fries.

Sadie: That's when i was like maybe i need to move out of public service.

Justin: It's Yemen.

The land of milk and honey is Yemen.

Justin: Cutscene.

I love that.

Jay: That's the best ending in this movie.

Jay: God.

Oh.

You left the windows open.

Jay: least 30.

I found five that are out of print.

Who?

Some of our best poets.

Jay: Cummings.

I doubt Cummings is out of print.

Sadie: Yeah.

Jay: I doubt Hugh's out of print.

I am so sorry.

I doubt Dickinson's out of print.

Look in there.

Sadie: Sex.

Beauty, Mustafa surprised me last night.

When I look at you.

You know what?

Sadie: The place of least concern to find a used condom is in the trash can in a public library.

Sadie: Just saying.

Found them in worse places.

Justin: Better than the urinal.

Here you are trying to prove just how stupid you can be.

Judy, please.

Justin: Librarian script.

It is very readable.

Justin: This is me in every essay in library school.

Sadie: Trashing.

Melville Dewey.

Justin: Just talking about how sexist librarianship is.

Jay: And how the master's degree used to be a vocational thing, right?

Jay: Like a little certificate you got?

Justin: Yeah, it started out as a two-week program.

Master's degrees were shorter back Justin: then.

You could get them right out of high school.

Jay: Yeah.

Justin: You're like a master's of accounting, which just meant you did basically like, Justin: it's what we would call associate degrees now.

Justin: But then as times changed, people wanted to keep calling the master's, Justin: so they updated the requirements.

Oh, shit.

Jay: Only a judge can evict you.

Jay: Get to know the neighbors in your building.

Form a tenant union.

Jay: All right.

Don't sell your goatee.

Jay: Form a union instead.

Justin: She can steal more.

And a dress.

And $50 a sweat jacket.

$50.

Jay: Anyway.

It belonged to my mother.

She's dead.

Dead mom club.

Jay: Let's see what's in the other bag.

Jay: I got a kimono that my mom got when she lived in Japan.

Justin: I'm thinking about getting a kimono, because it's so dang hot in this house.

Justin: Just needs something a little flowy.

Justin: Or like a Jinbei.

Jay: She looks like she's wearing like a fencing outfit.

Right?

Justin: I like the sweater.

Sadie: Sweater looks cozy.

Justin: It's very...

Jay: It looks like a fencing outfit.

Justin: It's like the Harry Met Sally kind of poofy white.

Justin: But that's different.

That's different.

You're a teacher.

You're a teacher.

Justin: You're a teacher.

This is my life.

Justin: I want to do something.

Sadie: And what do you want to do?

that like v-shape in the front like of the sweater Sadie: very 90s thing then let's think of things you like to do things that you're good at then i'm not.

Jay: Is not true, Jay: i like his gold zipper yeah that's like in gold as a combo he's wearing like.

Justin: All dickies stuff.

Jay: It's all workwear.

Justin: I had a jacket exactly like that.

I used to be way into Dickies.

Jay: Although cool anarchists have these Dickies overalls and Dickies pants.

Justin: Dickies pants are good.

Jay: I know.

I want a pair.

Jay: Because you don't really know me.

Justin: Yeah one of my co-workers stole my dicky's jacket It's so cool.

Justin: would be a great place for a party.

Jay: Oh no my orientalism part two electric boogaloo this is keffia at least he's Jay: got a Palestinian keffiyeh on, but...

Justin: Since when was that guy a bartender?

Jay: I don't know.

Justin: Oh, right, she's making her friends work for her.

That's right.

Justin: I love those guys.

Justin: They're acting like freaks on a leash.

Why'd you make him dress like that?

Jay: Oh, it hurts.

So decadent.

So merry.

Justin: I live to serve, don't I?

The necklace.

I forgot about the necklace.

Sadie: Yep.

Jay: Oh my God, it's your birthday already.

Happy birthday.

Yo, Poppy, what's up?

Yo, what's up.

Sadie: What's with you, Leo?

All you got is pals?

Merry, merry, quiet and sharing.

Nigel.

Justin: Vomit.

Your cigarette is bothering me.

Get a last name and we'll talk, okay?

Justin: An evergreen insult in the queer community.

Jay: I get a last name.

Sadie: Give me a mocktail.

That's OJ Cranberry Juice No Ice Lime Twist.

Jay: Pay for that?

You got to pay for your dreams.

You have to.

It's how it works.

She's such a little cop.

Jay: Let me tell you, there are two kinds of people in this world.

Justin: Herbivores.

Why did she like charge for all of her parties instead of...

Jay: It's a rent party.

Justin: Mustafa, bring it at your post.

Jay: Look, it's late.

Nobody wants to raise money for rent.

That's how she charged him.

Justin: Well, she already got the money for rent.

It's funny.

That's her.

You're hurting me.

Jay: Ow!

Oh, my God.

Justin: What's your problem?

Foreshadowing.

You treat everyone like dogs.

Justin: You drink so much all night.

You move around the room talking, Justin: talking.

I'm having a good time.

Justin: Haven't you ever seen anyone have fun before?

Justin: And that means you don't respect the people who help you, who do.

Jay: It's been wisdom.

Justin: I would like a nice, powerful, mind-altering substance.

Preferably something Justin: that would make my unborn children.

Sadie: Be right back.

Justin: He's getting better.

Justin: Also, I guess he just kept that album that Mustafa brought over that one time.

Sadie: Yeah.

Jay: There's this, like, great band camp called, I think it's, like, Habibi Funk.

Jay: And they, like, put out all these, like, old, like, funk records and shit from, Jay: like, the Middle East from, like, the 60s and stuff.

60s and 70s.

It's great.

Justin: Isn't there something called like Bedouin tapes or something?

Justin: I don't remember if it's like a genre.

Jay: But it's like where it's like on like cassettes and like on like the MP3s on Jay: cell phones and shit.

Yeah.

Justin: Yeah.

I'm always having to do Was it Bedouin?

Justin: But yeah, it's like cassettes and phone stuff.

Justin: Listen to me.

Jay: Don't give me your faggot shit, Derek.

Don't be a faggot.

Parker Posey's allowed to say faggot.

Jay: It's the weather.

I give her permission.

Justin: Staring at a bearded dragon.

Sadie: The lizard.

Jay: He's just hanging out.

This is a very well-behaved bearded dragon.

Jay: Coop would be jumping all over the fucking place.

Jay: Although I have walked into like Pat Smart with him on my shoulder before.

Justin: She loves doing this move.

Jay: Yeah.

She's, like, very bad at voguing is what it is.

Jay: And then she, like, is orientalist with it.

Justin: We're just speaking, we're just speaking, we're going to mix and switch and switch.

Jay: What mind-altering substance is she on that's kicking in that quickly?

Justin: Hmm.

Something that'll make her unborn children grow gills.

Jay: Unless Dean Shrooms take longer to kick in.

Sadie: It's like that photo of like all the like girls holding cups looking at the Sadie: camera that people use as a meme.

Jay: I've got a keffiyeh like that.

Jay: I've got that red one, and then I've got like a black one.

Not the black and Jay: white one, just a black one.

I was marrying you.

Mrs.

Jay: Nigel Hogsworth.

Jay: just want to...

I just want to sleep.

Come on.

I just want to sleep.

Jay: Come on.

I just want to sleep, Nigel.

Sadie: Go home, girl.

Justin: Quick, lock it.

Quick.

Look.

Look.

Look.

Justin: Look.

Justin: Look.

Look, Mary, just open the door, right?

Justin: This, like, turns into a horror movie for, like, 30 seconds.

Sadie: Yeah.

Open the fucking door, man!

Open the fucking door!

Open the fucking door!

Sadie: Those are all the books she ruined by leaving the windows open.

Jay: Music.

Justin: I think some of those are bookstore discards.

I just noticed one of them had Justin: the title page ripped off, or the front cover ripped off.

Jay: Sorry, I'm just trying to see you.

Yeah.

Justin: Oh, my God.

Justin: Apparently there's a word in Russian for guys who just do this.

Sadie: Are always carrying things upstairs.

Justin: No who like sleep in the uh stairwell, Justin: milo edwards had a comedy bit where he was talking about those types of guys Justin: in that word and he's like oh yeah i think i like that my building turns out Justin: he lives on the fifth floor he just never liked to go into his apartment it's.

Sadie: About my future.

Justin: He would get drunk and read dostoevsky in the stairwell all day i'm working, Justin: Library instruction.

Justin: doing here?

You're going to help me, bitch.

Sadie: Okay, let's see.

We still have to hang that.

Jay: Piñata and make the hash brownies.

I'm here with the balloons.

Jay: Carl.

That's.

Justin: You know, a piñata.

What is a piñata?

It's a piñata.

Justin: A piñata is a Latin American ritual performed on birthdays and also Christmas.

Jay: What's up?

Be careful, a piñata!

You don't need some high-status degree.

Jay: You want the best program for the least money in the shortest amount of time.

Jay: Absolutely.

Oh, please.

That's you.

Justin: You went to Colombia.

Justin: But I didn't go to Columbia I did my undergraduate there, and Arbor is so much Justin: fun.

I don't want to leave New York.

Well.

Jay: As in non-academic.

Howard doesn't approve of academia.

He thinks it's for women.

Jay: It is.

This is me now, Jay: Academic librarianship is for the bourgeois, Jay: I used to be the enemy, I've now seen the error of my ways.

Jay: I'm kidding.

Kind of.

Mostly.

Sadie: Yeah, this is the place.

We want beer.

The queer falafel stand.

Jay: Word, where can I go?

Where can I get me some queer falafel?

Jay: Can I get a falafel and hot sauce?

When I worked in Utah, the falafel truck Jay: on campus, they loved me.

Sadie: I want that jacket.

Jay: Falafel.

And then there was like a good falafel pita place when I worked in New Hampshire and Jay: because I could say shukran to say thank you they were like hey and I always Jay: like brought co-workers there for lunch and they like they loved me they're Jay: like hey it's you.

I was like yeah it's me.

Justin: That's a great story.

Jay: Yeah.

You're working a new look.

Derek, may I have a word with you please?

Jay: You see the pinata for your birthday?

I like his little cowboy shirt.

Justin: Mm-hmm.

Judas is coming over here in 15 minutes.

Jay: We've got to get these people out of here.

Justin: I like how Kurt's just having a good time.

Justin: See the pinata?

Sadie: Kurt's just there.

Justin: She's having a slip.

Mary.

Leo and I have thrown.

Jay: You the party of a lifetime.

Like, I like how he calls her Mary, Jay: but not in the timbre cadence as if it was her name, but as a gay person calling anybody Mary.

Justin: I think it's just like him like that.

Jay: He's just gay.

Justin: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Jay: Mary.

Enabler.

May I?

I expect you on that dance floor in five minutes and please, Jay: Mary, those clothes were priceless.

They were irreplaceable.

Jay: Mary, those clothes were priceless.

Jay: Like he says, doesn't say it like it's her name.

Justin: No, he says it like Mario.

Jay: No, that's just how gay people call each other Mary.

Judy, there's been a mix-up.

Justin: I think he's just Italian like that.

Jay: No.

Derek and Leo threw me the.

Justin: Surprise party without my permission.

Write in the comments.

Justin: Gay or Italian?

This is our new game on the show.

Sadie: What does this hat say?

Ask something?

Justin: You haven't heard my plan.

This is called tough love, Mary.

Please, Justin: open up.

Please.

It's open.

Justin: It's open.

Sadie: Never do that.

Sadie: Come back with a warrant.

Jay: Come back with a warrant.

Do not talk to cops.

Call your lawyer immediately.

Jay: How come I've been getting all.

Justin: Those complaints about you?

Jay: Even lawyers, like, are like, shut the fuck up around cops.

Like, Jay: shut the fuck up.

Just don't say anything.

Shut the fuck up.

We are downtown.

Sadie: Officer, you haven't even read her her rights.

Justin: A love slave.

He looks like What's-His-Face, the actor, um...

Sadie: You know, in my experience with middle-aged ladies, she would actually probably Sadie: be the most enthusiastic in that room.

Not going to lie.

Jay: I'm serious about graduate school.

Jay: I wish I were saying I was serious about graduate school with a dude with a Jay: jockstrap thrusting around me.

Jay: Arthur loves to just sit and put his butt on a corner of my laptop and then Jay: have his tail go across the keyboard.

Justin: Mm-hmm.

Jay: See?

Jay: Yes, Arthur, everybody can see your tail.

You're a good boy.

Sadie: Poor stripper.

Stop with the lies and manipulations.

Why won't you trust me?

Sadie: She was very into that library.

She lent me a book from there on body piercing.

Sadie: That's nothing.

Library.

Justin: I'm body piercing.

Jay: I'm body.

See, it is me.

Justin: Cross-listed.

Yes, cross-listed.

Look, there are over 2,000 albums here.

So will, Justin: Why not?

Because she had sex in the library.

Justin: Sex addiction.

Sex addiction.

Mary.

Hey, we're in the library, Justin: Jax.

The romance language section.

Jay: That's what I want to know.

Justin: See, this guy's asking the right questions.

I'm so sorry.

Jay: Mary did wish us for a while.

Sadie: Yes.

I'll do it.

Jay: In my experience convincing someone you actually do want to go to library school is that hard, Jay: when i when i decided i want to be a librarian i told my boss at the music library Jay: hey i think i want to be a librarian and she was like let me take you out for Jay: a drink and then took me out for a drink and sat me down after she bought me Jay: a drink and went so why do you want to be a librarian librarian.

Jay: And I told her and she was like, that's the right answer.

Jay: She's like, if you had told me it was because you liked books or reading or Jay: something, I would have told you, no, that I wouldn't help you.

Jay: And then she did help me.

She helped me with all my applications and helped me pick programs.

Jay: I had to interview a librarian for one of my applications and she connected Jay: me with one of her friends who was a wine librarian in California and I got Jay: to interview him.

That was cool.

Jay: Librarian, huh?

Justin: But I never got to do any neat librarian interviews.

Justin: That's not true.

I interviewed the Judaica librarian at UF.

They have a separate Justin: Judaica library, I think.

I think it was UF.

Jay: Yeah, there were a lot of Judaica and Hebrew language cataloging positions when Jay: I was first looking for jobs.

Jay: But yeah, this was for the University of Illinois.

They required an interview with a librarian.

Justin: The lady bunny itself.

Jay: So what's everyone's favorite like thing about this movie like yeah i mean.

Justin: The fashion's always fun yeah.

Jay: And a rent buff and a rent the.

Justin: It twins, Justin: made marion, Justin: Kurt.

Sadie: Carl.

Jay: See, and like, so the steps that she says that she goes through to help Mustafa, like...

Jay: the way that i was taught to do reference was like you would walk someone through, Jay: how to do everything you wouldn't necessarily do the research for them, Jay: um you would like walk them Jay: through um and like show them the skills or like here this is then where you Jay: would find this information and then they could always ask for more help but Jay: that's like usually what subject specialists are for is if you're getting like Jay: really in-depth right yeah.

Justin: But she's mostly especially at a public library well she's mostly pulling ready Justin: reference though it was like he knew what Justin: he was asking for he just needed certification and navigating the city.

Jay: Yeah ready reference is kind of a lost Jay: art like i learned about ready reference but Jay: i feel like i never had to actually do ready reference Jay: the closest i can think is like when i was at the music library i would have Jay: to like point people to like yeah like here's the i think they're the Costellos, they're these, Jay: Castells, that's what they are they're these books of, Jay: like, Jay: for all the Italian and German operas and stuff it's like the pronunciations Jay: of everything for singers, Jay: so I always have to point people to those, Jay: and those were like on the reference shelf, Jay: Utah had a lot of stuff about like patents so and like standards like standards Jay: books so I had to like know where those were to appoint people to them but.

Jay: I don't work with the public anymore more though.

Justin: I'm looking to see if there's actually.

Sadie: Looking to see if there's actually Teddy Rogers listed anywhere.

Justin: It was Teddy Rogers right yeah Teddy, Justin: Available on Relativity Recordings, Justin: I've never noticed that The original soundtrack album, Notice.

Jay: Yeah?

Justin: I'm going to be looking for that more.

Jay: Oh, yeah.

That was in movies all the time in the 90s and early aughts.

Sadie: It's because the movie soundtrack slapped.

Justin: Yeah, in the 90s.

Oh, yeah.

It's back.

Sadie: Oh, God.

Jay: Oh, God.

Sadie: I forgot about this.

Jay: Ah.

Sadie: Why did they do this?

Jay: I'm looking for who Teddy Rogers is.

Jay: I searched for Teddy Rogers in Wikipedia and the party girl showed up.

Justin: Is that not a real person?

Jay: I don't think so.

Maybe.

Jay: I don't know okay well that's hardy girl i'm gonna try this out, Jay: cool we did it hopefully it worked this time yeah.

Justin: All right i'm stopping it now.