Hey, and welcome back to Cultural Lit.

I'm your host, Octavia Marie, and I am grateful you are here with me today.

Whether you are an OG listener or if this is your first time tuning in, thank you for being a part of this beautiful community.

We've built around Black romance novels, black authors, black women, and celebrating black love in all its gorgeous forms.

Before I dive into today's episode, I just wanna take a moment to thank you for all the ways you've supported culture lit.

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All of that support means the absolute world to me and it helps me keep this podcast growing strong and speaking of community, I've been seeing so many of you sharing your current reads and TBR lists and wow, it's just so amazing.

So keep making those recommendations because y'all have the best taste in books and I'm always adding something to my never ending TBR list.

Thanks to all of your recommendations.

Now let's get into today's episode.

This is all about something I'm passionate about, solo adventures and the books that make perfect companions for those journeys of self-discovery.

When was the last time you took yourself on a solo date, a solo vacation?

Maybe you got all dressed up and treated yourself to dinner at that fancy restaurant that you've been talking about?

Or maybe you kept it simple, threw on your favorite sweats and went to see sinners for the third time.

Yep, that's right.

I saw it three times.

But both of those are completely valid, by the way But if it's been a while since you've done something solo or you've been feeling a little anxious or hesitant about taking yourself on a date or planning a solo trip, I hope this episode will be the gentle nudge.

You need to push you past that hesitation and do the damn thing.

Because let me tell you, there are some experiences in life that teach us profound lessons about ourselves, and solo adventures are absolutely one of them.

I've been thinking a lot lately about second chances and the experiences we wish we could do over.

I saw this question making rounds on social media, asking if you could do one thing over in your life, what would it be?

And for me, without hesitation, it's studying abroad and traveling internationally when I was younger.

As a child of a single mother and the first in my family to go to college, I honestly had no idea that studying abroad was even an option for someone like me.

It felt like something reserved for other people.

People with different backgrounds, different resources, different kinds of support systems.

I didn't have anyone in my circle who had done it or could even guide me through the process.

I.

But here's the beautiful thing about reading and specifically about the kinds of romance novels we talk about on this show.

Books became my passport.

Through the pages of these stories, I got to travel to far off places, experience different cultures, and see the world through the eyes of characters who looked like me, loved like me, and dreamed like me.

Okay.

Reading opened up worlds I didn't even know existed and sparked a fascination with travel that has only grown stronger over the years.

once I started reading more intentionally as an adult, really diving deep into Black Romance seeking out authors who were creating these lush, diverse roles.

I began seeing distant lands and different possibilities through their stories.

Authors like Beverly Jenkins taking me to the Old West, or Elisa, Cole's historical Romance has transporting me to different eras and continent.

These books didn't just entertain me.

They educated me and expanded my sense of what was possible.

I think doing things solo, especially traveling, teaches us things about ourselves that can only emerge when we're comfortable with solitude, when we're truly okay with being alone with ourselves and our thoughts.

When you're by yourself, you learn who you really are beneath all the layers of other people's expectations and perceptions.

You discover what genuinely makes you tick, what kinds of experiences light you up from the inside, what your authentic interests are when they're not filtered through group dynamics or someone else's preferences.

Think about it.

How much of what you think you like or dislike has been shaped by the people around you?

When you spend intentional time alone, you get to develop your own interests without outside influence.

you might discover.

You actually love museums when you're not rushing through them with someone who's bored.

You might find that you prefer quiet cafes over bustling restaurants where you're not trying to accommodate someone else's energy level.

Solo experiences also push you out of your comfort zone in the best way possible.

When you're traveling alone, you are more likely to strike up conversations with strangers, to be open to spontaneous adventures, to say yes to experiences you might normally avoid.

You become more resourceful, more confident, more adaptable.

Now, I've never had major issues doing things by myself.

when I lived in Los Angeles, I routinely took myself out to dinner, went to movies solo, took long drives along the coast, had beach dates with just me and a good book.

I loved roaming around the city, discovering new neighborhoods, finding hitting gems that I might have missed if I'd been focused on entertaining someone else.

But I know that for many of us doing things along, especially things that feel quote unquote social, like dining out or going to events can feel uncomfortable or even scary.

We're waiting for our friend group to be available or for that special, someone to come along and be our adventure partner.

But here's what I've learned.

You can't wait for other people to live your life.

You can't put your interests and desires on hold indefinitely, waiting for the perfect companion.

And honestly, some of the best experiences I've had have been solo because I was fully present, fully engaged, and fully in tune with what I wanted to get out of the experience.

when we're young, we typically do a lot of different things, right?

We're involved in various activities, we're exploring different interests.

We're naturally curious and playful.

But at some point in our adult lives, we tend to focus more heavily on work, family responsibilities, caregiving duties, and we lose touch with the sense of play and exploration.

We forget how important it is to continue fostering our own hobbies and interests.

Even as we get older and take on more responsibilities, we put ourselves on the back burner thinking I'll get back to those personal interests someday when we have more time, more money, fewer obligations.

But here's the truth, there's never going to be a perfect time.

There's never going to be a moment when all your responsibilities disappear and you suddenly have unlimited time and resources to explore your interests.

You have to make time for the things that bring you joy, that feed your soul, that reminds you who you are beyond your roles and responsibilities.

If you've been pouring all your time and energy into caregiving, into work, into taking care of everyone else, I want you to hear this.

You are never too old to develop a new hobby or interest.

you are never too busy to carve out small moments for things that make you happy.

You deserve to have fun, to explore, to discover new aspects of yourself.

I want you to think about spending time alone, not as something you do when you're single or when you're between relationships, but as a practice that you continue throughout all stages of your life, whether you're single, partnered, a parent, a caregiver, a co.

At every stage, you need time to connect with yourself and nurture your own individual interests.

There's no point in your life where you can say, Okay.

I don't need solo time anymore.

Because the things you learn about yourself at 21.

Through solo experiences are completely different from what you'll discover about yourself.

At 35 50 or 65.

At each stage of life, you are meeting new versions of yourself, uncovering new layers, developing new interests and perspectives.

the 25-year-old you who backpack through Europe might have different travel preferences than the 45-year-old you who prefers boutique hotels and planned itineraries.

The 30-year-old U who loved crowded concerts might involve into someone who prefers intimate jazz clubs.

Both versions are valid and both deserve to be honored and explored.

I am sharing all of this because I'm just now getting back to a place where I'm ready to fully embrace solo adventures.

Again, my cancer journey changed so much for me physically, emotionally, spiritually.

It took time to adjust for the ways my body had changed, to reveal my confidence, to trust myself, to navigate the world independently again.

My first few ventures out of town, or with my daughter and sister, safe supported trips to New Orleans and San Diego.

Having them with me gave me the confidence to start exploring again while still feeling secure.

Those trips were important.

Stepping Stones helping me remember how much I love discovering new places, trying new foods, and experiencing different environments.

S This year I decided to step out even more boldly.

I took my first solo trip to New Mexico and it was transformative.

There's something magical about the desert landscape, the art scene in Santa Fe, the way the light changes throughout the day.

Being there alone allowed me to move at my own pace, to sit with the beauty around me, to process everything I'd been through and celebrate how far I come.

And now here I am in Porto Vota for the next few weeks fully embracing this next chapter of my solo adventure journey.

I'm talking to you from this beautiful place surrounded by the sounds of the oceans with a stack of books that I'm excited to dive into, which brings me to the books.

While I'm here in Mexico, I have several novels on my TBR list that I'm determined to knock out.

But first up, I'm tackling some of these five star reads that have been creating major buzz among the book community.

Books that have been all over book talk bookstagram and dominating conversations in the romance reading circles.

What's better than some literal sex on the beach while reading about some fictional sex on the page?

I'm talking about the work of Black romance authors who everyone has been raving about.

Finally getting a chance to see what all the excitement was about and one of the first books I'm finally tackling.

Is the next book in JL Seeger's Revive Me series y'all.

This series has been on my TBR longer than I really want to admit, and I'm almost embarrassed about how long I've been putting it off.

And here's the thing, I wasn't as into the first book in the series as everyone else seemed to be.

and maybe it was my mood when I read it.

maybe my expectations were too high because of all the height, but it didn't grab me the way it clearly grabbed so many other readers.

Plus it ended on a cliffhanger, which unpopular opinion.

I'm not always a fan of cliffhangers when I'm not ready to immediately dive into the next book.

But I've been hearing so many people rave about books two and three that I knew I had to give the series another chance.

And with JL Seeker recently signing with Bloom Books, a major traditional publisher.

All of the books in the series are being republished with new covers and updated marketing.

So I'm really interested to see how they position her work and how they market the series to a broader audience.

There's something exciting about watching an author make that transition from indie publishing to traditional publishing.

It often means their work is reaching new readers who might not have discovered them otherwise, and it's a validation of what those of us in this romance community have known all along These stories deserve the widest possible audience.

So what better time than now to finish the series while I'm here in this beautiful setting, sometimes a change of scenery is exactly what you need to approach a book with fresh eyes and an open heart.

Now.

One book that I've already completed while I've been here is No Ordinary Love by Maya Ariel.

Now let me tell you about No Ordinary Love.

This book is everything.

It's sexy and luxurious, but it's also one of the best representations of divorce and litigation abuse I've seen on the page.

Maya Ariel doesn't shy away from the reality of what it's like to be trapped in a marriage with someone who uses the legal system as a weapon, and she handles it with such sensitivity and accuracy.

The hero of no ordinary love is Miles, Westbrook, and y'all.

If all men were like miles, the world would genuinely be a much better place.

He's the kind of man who sees a woman in distress and doesn't try to fix her or save her, but instead creates space for her to save herself while offering unwavering support.

He's patient, he's understanding, he respects boundaries, and he loves what the kind of consistency that allows someone to heal and trust again.

Okay.

One thing I absolutely loved about this book is how Maya incorporates music into the story.

There are songs referenced throughout that perfectly capture the mood and emotion of different scenes.

I highly recommend creating a playlist as you read, because it will absolutely level up your experience.

Music and romance go hand in hand anyway, but when an author delivery weaves.

specific songs into their narratives.

It creates this multimedia experience that's incredibly immersive.

Next up, I'm working my way through Jaques Capone series because I need to finish it before I start the quasi series that has literally everyone in a choke hole.

I started quasi earlier, got completely sucked in, and then realized I needed to go back and read the previous books to fully understand all the connections and references.

This is one of those author situations where the more I read, the more I understand why people are so obsessed.

Jaque has this way of creating characters that feel so real, so complex, so fully developed that you forget you're reading fiction.

Her dialogue is sharp, the romantic tension is off the charts, and she's not afraid to tackle difficult subjects while still delivering that happily ever after.

We're all craving.

I think I'm going to need to dedicate an entire episode to discussing her work because there is so much to unpack the way she handles trauma, family dynamics, community loyalty.

It's also nuance and well-crafted.

Plus her heroes are the kind of men who ruin you for real life because they're protective without being possessive.

Strong, without being toxic.

And they love their women with an intensity that's both aspirational and, ooh, so hot.

and then finally, I'm diving into Work song by Danielle Allen.

Danielle quickly became one of my favorite authors after I discovered Curvy Girl Summer last year.

Her writing style, her character development, her ability to create plus size heroines who are confident, complex, and completely lovable.

It all just speaks to my soul.

while I'm equally waiting on her next book, plus Size Player, which comes out next month, I thought this would be the perfect time to finally check works on off my TBR list.

The premise immediately caught my attention.

the female protagonist deals with the backhanded compliments of you have a pretty face, something that so many plus-sized women have experience.

It is the coded language that supposedly offers a compliment while simultaneously delivering an insult.

but Danielle's heroin refuses to internalize that negativity.

and here's what this book is about.

A 27-year-old who has never been in love.

She dates but sparks never have seemed to fly.

Her mother says she'll never find love because of her weight.

Her sister says it's because of her personality.

Her almost fiance says, is because he's incapable of loving anyone.

While she rightfully dispenses her mother and sister's opinions as garbage, she admits her ex might have a point about her capacity for love, but then she experiences that heart pounding, skin tingling feeling for the first time with a guy she's never met, And he ends up holding her future in his hands in more ways than one.

What I love about Danielle's work is how she creates plus-sized characters who are unapologetically confident in their sexuality and their desirability.

there's no self-doubt, no constant internal dialogue about weight or appearance.

These women know they're gorgeous and expect to be treated as such.

It's refreshing and unnecessary representation.

There's something perfect about combining solo travel with romance reading.

When you're in a new place removed from your everyday routine and responsibilities, you can really sink into a story in a way that's harder to do at home.

You're not thinking about laundry or work emails or what to make for dinner.

You're fully present with the book and the experience.

Okay.

Plus, there's something beautifully ironic about reading love stories.

While you're on a journey of self-love and discovery, these books remind us of what we want in relationships, what we deserve from partners, what healthy love looks like.

They can be both escapist, entertainment and guide books for our own romantic lives.

when I'm reading a particularly swoon worthy hero, I'm not just enjoying the fantasy.

I'm also taking notes on the qualities that make him appealing, the way he communicates, how he handles conflict, his respect for the heroin's autonomy, his emotional intelligence, these characteristics become part of my standard for real life relationships.

one of the things that I love most about the current landscape of Black Romance is how diverse and inclusive it's become.

We're seeing stories about plus size characters, older characters, characters dealing with mental health issues, disabilities, trauma recovery, and so many other experiences that were traditionally overlooked in mainstream romance.

Authors like the ones I'm reading here in Puerto, are creating space for all kinds of black love stories.

They're showing us that we don't have to choose between diversity and quality, between representation and entertainment.

We can have beautifully written, emotionally satisfying stories that also reflect the full spectrum of black experiences.

This representation matters because it tells readers that their stories are valid, that their experiences are worthy of being centered in romantic narratives, that they deserve love stories that reflect their realities.

It matters because it expands the definition of who gets to be a romance, heroine, and what happily ever after can look like.

Coming back to the theme of solo adventures, I want to talk about what I'm learning about myself during this time in Puerto.

Being here alone with no agenda except to read, relax, and reconnect with myself has been incredibly revealing.

I'm learning that I'm more adaptable than I give myself credit for.

Navigating a place where my Spanish is rusty, figuring out transportation, finding my way around all these small challenges have reminded me that I'm capable of handling uncertainty and change.

I'm also discovering that I genuinely enjoy my own company.

There's no pressure to be on or entertaining or accommodating.

I can wake up when I want, eat what appeals to me, spend as long as I want at the beach, or as many hours I want reading without having to consider anyone else's preferences or schedule.

But perhaps more importantly, I'm learning to trust my instincts again.

Okay.

Cancer treatment and recovery involves so many decisions being made by other people, doctors, nurses, family members who are trying to help.

While that support was necessary and appreciated, it's empowering to be back in a space where I'm making choices based solely on what feels right for me.

Even though I'm here alone, I'm not isolated.

I've had beautiful conversations with other travelers, with locals, with fellow book lovers, I've connected with online.

Solo travel doesn't mean cutting yourself off from human connection.

It means being more intentional about the connections you make when you're traveling with others.

It's easy to stay in your comfortable bubble with the people you came with.

When you're alone, you are more open to meeting new people, more likely to accept invitations, more willing to step outside your comfort zone socially.

I had a fascinating conversation about books with a woman from Canada who's also here solo, comparing notes on our TBR list and sharing recommendations.

I've chatted with locals about their favorite authors and discovered some Mexican romance writers I never heard of.

These connections wouldn't have happened if I had been focused on entertaining travel companions.

the skills you develop through solo adventures, confidence, adaptability, self-reliance, openness to new experiences, these translate to every area of your life.

They make you a better partner because you're not looking to someone else to complete you or provide all your happiness.

They make you a better friend because you're not needy or dependent.

They make you more interesting because you have your own experiences and perspectives to share.

solo time also helps you identify what you truly want versus what you think you should want based on external expectations.

When you remove other people's voices and opinions from the equation, you can hear your own desires more clearly.

For example, before this trip, I thought I was someone who preferred busy packed itineraries while traveling.

But being here with no schedule has shown me that I actually love having unstructured time to wander, to follow my curiosity, to be spontaneous.

That's valuable self-knowledge that will inform future travel decisions.

The romance novels I'm reading here aren't just entertainment.

They're also serving as informal guides for this journey of self-discovery.

The heroines in these books are all on their own journeys of figuring out who they are and what they want.

They're learning to value themselves, to set boundaries, to ask for what they need.

Okay.

Watching these fictional women navigate their challenges reminds me that growth is a process that setbacks are normal, that self-love is a practice rather than a destination.

Their courage inspires my own courage.

Their willingness to be vulnerable encourages my own openness to new experiences.

If you are inspired to plan your own solo adventure, but feeling nervous about it, here are some practical tips that have helped me Start small.

You don't have to book a two week international trip as your first solo adventure.

Try a day trip to a city nearby, a weekend getaway to a place you've always wanted to visit, or even just a solo date in your own town.

Choose destinations that feel manageable.

If you are anxious about language barriers, start with someone that speaks your language.

If you are worried about safety research, destinations known for being solo female friendly, And pack books seriously, having good books with you.

Eliminate any awkwardness about dining alone or spending time by yourself.

You always have something to do and you never look lonely because you're clearly engaged in something you enjoy.

Trust your instincts.

If something doesn't feel right, leave.

If an opportunity sounds amazing, say yes.

Solo travel is about honoring your intuition and preferences without having to negotiate with anyone else.

Document the experience, take photos, keep a journal, save tickets and mementos.

Solo adventures are precious gifts you give yourself and you'll want to remember the details.

As I continue working through my TBR list here in Mexico, I'm struck by how these books enhance rather than distract from the solar experience.

Each story offers a different perspective on love, relationships, and self-worth.

They provide entertainment during the quiet moments and emotional depth that enriches the overall experience.

Reading about these strong, complex heroines, while I'm on my own journey of rediscovering my strength feels intentional and meaningful, these stories remind me that being alone doesn't mean being lonely.

That independence is attractive, that knowing yourself is the foundation for healthy relationships.

and this won't be my last solo adventure.

In fact, I'm already thinking about where I wanna go next, what books I want to save for future trips, how I can continue incorporating solo time into my regular routine, even when I'm back home.

And I hope that sharing my experience encourages you to consider what kind of solo adventure might be calling to you.

Maybe it's a writing retreat where you finally work on that novel you've been thinking about.

Maybe it's a food tour of a city known for its cuisine.

Maybe it's a simple day at a museum followed by dinner at the restaurant you've been wanting to try.

Okay.

Whatever it is, I hope you'll give yourself permission to explore it.

You deserve to take up space in the world to pursue your interests, to discover new things about yourself.

you don't need anyone's permission except your own.

As I wrap up today's episode, I want to leave you with this thought.

The relationship you have with yourself sets the tone for every other relationship in your life.

The time you spend getting to know yourself, nurturing your interests, and honoring your needs isn't selfish.

It's essential.

Whether you start with a solo coffee date or plan an international adventure, the important thing is that you start, every journey begins with a single step, and every solo adventure begins with a decision to prioritize your own experience and growth.

Thank you for joining me for this episode of Culturally.

And for being a part of this community that celebrates black love, black romance authors, and black joy, keep reading, keep exploring, keep discovering new things about yourself and the world around you If you enjoy today's episode, please subscribe.

Leave a review, and share culture lit with someone who needs these stories in their life.

I will be back with more book recommendations, author interviews, and conversations about black love, black romance, literature, and everything in between.

Until next time, keep turning those pages and living your best life solo or otherwise.

I.