This is our block pass called emergency inter Call.

Welcome.

Drew took me to a gay bar last time, and then he crashed.

Out on me.

You hit him?

He almost did.

He wanted that.

We've gone a bit with the term if he didn't, did you hit him?

Why?

I just didn't like it didn't feel right in the moment because I could tell he wanted it.

Oh, I've been there.

Yeah, what was the crash out?

I just started screaming at me.

Yeah, Like I was screaming gay slurs at him.

Yeah.

I was like, dude, what the it's you know, it's funny?

Is our friend?

Uh?

That came up in the cowboy hat.

Texted my other friend and was like, hey, like did I hear KAI say that Drew is by lmao?

And I was like, what's fucking funny about?

What's funny about the potential of me being by?

Like?

What what is so silly about it?

I really can't get on his case because that's me as fun.

I'm like like, I actually.

Like I am sorry, Like I am, I'm like, okay, girl, Like rolling my eyes is not real because first of all, it's just gluttony.

Call it what it is.

And then second of all, it's like.

Drew just no, I mean also Kai is by famously famously Yeah, but I just only hook.

Up with girls.

Yeah no, I mean that's brave.

Still, it's still to take up space is still very brave.

No, and the bike lot.

I don't take out that much space.

I don't take that much.

Oh yeah, Like so I I agree with him.

I would laugh.

I would laugh at the assumption that you're by and like, I'm sorry, I can I hate that.

I can think of people who like it just makes me laugh because I'm like, did I.

Hear Kai Drew is by l M A O.

L and he got his across?

Okay, that's good.

Yeah, because he's gay also.

Damn okay, Like, well, maybe it was coming from a place that like there's a girl who wants to like, but this guy is famously do go after you?

Yeah?

True, Like I just have that like like feminine quality to me that girls are attracted to, like I'm very emotionally intelligent, Like I hear them, I listen to them like I love women.

Yeah.

Basically, what you do is you become gay guy struck by lightning and you're you're you're doing what they called like act of listening when you're being responsive in the middle of it.

But you're like, right, right part, No exactly.

It's your boyfriend that that part.

One time I caught Drew being like, I'm gay, let's go try on bras at them all.

You caught him doing that?

Yeah, he was just telling girls like, oh, I could just tell you like if these bras like.

Going with girls.

I hate that he brought that up, but like one of my like RIZ tactics is bringing girls to Victoria's Secret and playing with their boobs in the changing room.

Do you like, do you act like he used to work there or something.

You're just like, no, no, no, I'm just like I'm a boob connoisseur, Like I can look at your I can see your boobs are what a quadruple d an F No.

I was thinking, like, h, I'm up in the ruse.

H exists, Yeah, everything exists.

Don't question anything now, like seriously, and it's not AI, It's real.

It's literally real.

The girls with the biggest booze you've ever seen on walking down a hallway.

That's real.

That the thing that I see on my phone is real.

It's actually so true.

That's so true there was.

I saw this music video recently and one of the girls had like the biggest knockers I've ever seen, Like.

What was giant which what was the name of the video?

What was the name of.

Clap your Hands by Edward Skeletricks Kai Stop.

But she had the biggest do hunger rugle as I've ever seen, Like they were giant, like literally ginormous, And I was like, there's no way, Like I cannot believe that those are real, Like there's absolutely no way.

And then it turns out I think they're a breastplate, but I can't tell for sure, but like in my head, I was like, oh, I like one.

I actually it's that big.

I want big booms.

That would be so painful.

Also, like, just like the shirt situation, like when my boobs were bigger, I think there are some people who are just born to have big boobs and then some people who like it genuinely.

Is a misplace meant in like a misjudgment because I don't think I was ever meant to have boobs as big as my boobs were, Like I always felt like like a bar wench at every weighting moment, I just felt like a bar wunch.

I felt like a He deleted the video, which the skill big Boob One.

Probably because it went against guidelines because.

They weren't out.

They were in like a bikini, and I hate that the woman that a woman's body is sexualized in.

That way and it's being shadow man.

Yeah, like it's really giving, Like girls should be able to show their boobs and nipples.

Like to me, Drew crashed out last night and also yesterday with me.

He crashed out before that because we had a stressful day and then decided because of that.

Actually, we just decided we were going to drink like day drenk.

Like we were like, we just need to day drink because we have access to a pool.

That is what a pool was for.

Yeah, oh my god, I forgot about we.

E's got a double shot Margarita.

Mind ju y'all.

I'm like, I'm low key like an alcoholic now like period, Like I love alcohol, Like I'm like alcohol is so good and fun, like I love that shit.

Drewid me keep calling I guess like I'm more of a drug addict than you are an alcoholic.

You're not a true alcoholic girl.

No, I literally still have like one drink a week, like, but that's just really shocking for me.

I know.

That's why I was saying to him yesterday when you start talking about it, I was like, dude, you we are both the same where when we start engaging in something, we have to make it public known because we're like, this is bad, This is bad.

I shouldn't be touching me.

You know it's bad.

Keep me in check.

Also, not only that, it's just literally because we for real don't do shit, like we're literally just permits for the most part, which I am trying to change because I think last twenty twenty three, I think I was really good at being social, and then the beginning of twenty twenty four, like March hit, the darkness.

Came, the Darkest coming too.

To bring back everything that like the light.

Is coming to bring back everything the darkness.

Did you just whisper the Darkness game under your breath?

No?

He did.

He didn't.

Did you do that?

Why?

Why would it be crazy if I did?

It's just insane.

I didn't.

I didn't actually say that.

You didn't.

You just said it came, the darkness came.

Yeah, Oh, I thought you were talking.

About being depressed on his phone, still looking for that fucking music.

But he's gone phone right in his face.

Bro, like it's two inches from his space.

Those glasses on.

Are you near sighted or far sighted?

Why do you never take off your glasses?

I'm near sighted and I have problems with association and if I don't have my glasses on.

Yeah, that was fucked up.

But also I think I look handsome in though.

No, you look really good.

You really do?

You look really good in glasses, Like it's really they're fitting.

Oh but yeah.

Basically, now me and Drew are back to being social, which means we're people who like are terrified all the time and neither of us know how to navigate in situations.

So we were by the pool and I got our first drinks and then Drew was like, oh, they were doing last call.

We got a double Margarita by the way, and I hit the joint.

Oh my god.

I really am like, oh my god, like hearing it out loud, like I'm really crashing out.

I was looking at my notes before I came in here, and I was like, oh, let me see what I had written down to talk about, and that was it, and was like, oh my god, Drew, I got Drew crossfaded as fuck loll and I was like, that's my brag of the week, Like that's.

I'm like, well broke my sobriety.

It is so fucking awesome.

I love when Drew.

Also, to be fair, I don't ever ask you to smoke, Like, actually I asked you to smoke with me all the time, but you've only ever smoked when one.

I like haven't really asked, and Drew will randomly like get the courage to do it, and it literally it feels like both of us lock in and I'm just like I know what I need to do, which is just exist here with him and act like that didn't happen and don't comment on it and just exists with him and be funny he he ha ha.

And we were having such an awesome time.

No, it was literally a blast, Like we finished the double margarita double and it was fucking rancid, Like it was the nastiest fucking thing I put in my body ever.

And then I go into my little snack bag and I pulled out chips and sour airheads and like there's all of these like yummy little things, like oh my god, I love like I literally love a snack and I was just like snacking crazy.

But the macarons, macaroons, macarons, what is it?

Macarn macrooms, macaroons, Pigma micron.

Only artists will get that one.

Wha.

But I like pulled those out.

I pulled those out, and like the one I ate was legitimately like the most vile, like cursed mush like it was raspberry and like I love raspberries, but like.

Under UV eleven and like eighty degree heat for an hour.

Yeah, but like raby, all.

Were fucking nasty.

Also, the coffee one was good.

But anyways, we're getting off track.

We're getting off track, but I'm like, wait, like should we get another one?

The guy comes around, He's like, oh, last call, last call, last call, and we're like yeah, we shouldn't.

And then like we kind of sit in silence for a second.

We look at each other and we're like went and wrong, my gosh, Like, let's get one more.

So I like hobbled, like literally hobbled back to this fucking like pool bar.

Because I'm too scared to go because I'm the one who said no to him.

And then I was like I can't go up early.

And so I'm like literally like stumbling, like like it's so embarrassing because I'm like literally high.

He's literally just cross faded for the first time ever.

And I like set the two cups on the bar and like there's like a moment of silence and like I was waiting for them to like ask me, like this hit the conversation.

Like I was sitting there and I was like we were like staring at each other, was almost like intimate in a way, and like I'm standing there and he it wasn't, No, it was not.

It was like the opposite.

And then I'm just like, two, this guy's too.

I was in it for you.

I get like nervous, and so I start like I'm like, hey, you get like another drink and and he's like I say, but I say it loud, like I say direction, but I like mumble like crazy, and he's like what, like what are you saying?

And these people are notoriously like mean as fuck, Like broh.

Was that fucking chateau?

They're fucking mean there, They're sod.

Their haters, they're ups, and like I mumbled, I love it.

Did I ever tell you when I got destroyed by like a really hot gig guy that worked at a bar at Cafe Mogador.

When I got breakfast, I was with Mason.

We were at it was like really busy, we're eating at the bar, and I got like a like a huge breakfast.

You literally weren't so like, don't like I don't know what you're making.

This is true, stop doing that.

I was like, so I ate the whole thing really quickly because I'm on this medication where I have to eat a lot hungry, and I ate it maybe like four times as fast as this was.

Like like recently, like a year ago, a year ago, okay.

Okay, but I was on it was a different medication was it also had a side effect where I have to eat a lot.

Of course all of my medications weirdly had this side effect.

But I ate the whole like pancakes, eggs, bacon, really fucking quickly.

And then the guy at the bar was like, wow, you ate that really fast.

And he was like a really hot, like six four, very muscular gay guy, and I was like, I just got destroyed by this.

I just looked down at my feet.

I didn't something like that happened to you recently too, where you were like we were talking about something like in someone like like confronted you like in that way, and it was like really off putting for you.

But like you just give that energy off.

Like that kind of off people sometimes I do.

People like see me and talk to me like that's like, which I'm actually really happy about.

Like I think I just have very kind eyes.

Like not to brag or anything, but like people just come up and talk to me like like not even like in like a hitting.

It's not even like they're hitting on me.

It's literally just like people come up and talk to me or ask me for directions, and I'm like, bitch, I don't know this fucking city.

Like like that type of conversation, which I love.

I love You're also good at carrying mundane conversation.

It's like a Southern thing.

I think, Like I've been so bad about it recently, Like I've been so in my head when I talk to people.

It's so bad.

Yeah, sorry, you got bodied, Kai.

No, It's totally fine.

I needed that.

Also, do you remember when I smoked weed in Miami?

Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god.

I will literally I will literally never smoke weed with Kai ever wait what you do.

I genuinely never smoke weed.

I think I've probably smoked weed.

I've taken like one hit and this is this is the this is the time that I smoked we over the last four years.

And I remember we were in Miami.

Andrew was like, you should just like smoke weed, fuck it, And I was like, no, I get really weird when I smoke weed, and I get stressed out and I basically have all of the parts of me that I hate are like turned up times ten when I smoke.

That's how I feel.

And he was like, I love you, I'm your friend.

Like I'll just you know, we'll just hang out.

It'll be fine.

I took the smallest hit from whatever, was it, like a pen or something.

Yeah, and then I just go dead silent and I sit down on the bed.

And then you guys are like doing stuff, and I'm like, I should say something.

I should say something, so I don't want to weird them out.

So I was like, it be fair, very valid situation to go wrong.

The hotel room they're talking about is this hotel and Little Havana, Miami, but it's literally it's just like a really tiny kind of like capsule hotel situation, and they were in a room with like four bunk beds.

No, two bunk beds for people.

Two bunk beds for people.

It was just like smell.

It was terrible.

You're to hear to hear, and then everything else was either.

Bed wall or desk.

It was just four guys.

And they were so fucking messy.

Oh got it drove me absolutely, But it.

Was it was you, Lucas, Josie.

No, Josie, Josh I think was in there, Josh Kai.

Yeah, I think it was us.

For maybe Finn was he not in.

That room, had his own room, Okay, but it might have been No.

Yeah, I think it was just Lucas because a Ryan was.

There on that trip and I.

Was not staying with you all.

Was Christian there?

Okay?

Then yeah, it was just as four.

So after a while being silent, boys, oh, I should say something to be social and inject myself into the conversation.

So I was just like, what are we doing next?

And Drew was like, oh, I don't know.

I think we're gonna go to this place.

I'm like, okay, well, like what time are we doing that?

And then like should we get ready now?

Like is that in fifteen minutes, I just start going through the itinerary of just being like very anxious.

Started becoming like OCD adjacent because I'm just like controlling every next time.

Exactly in my head.

Yeah, exactly.

It was like grasp me for some level of control reality.

Yeah, And like I think I was trying to be like, oh, how can I contribute to the situation.

That's like literally why I don't smoke weed?

Yeah, it's literally I.

Overthought at so many levels and then you Drew literally was like kai, you should never smoke weed ever for like twenty minutes.

Also, like the thing is like it was like the most persistent like like stream of consciousness like questions I've ever had in my life.

Like it was like literally like five hundred questions and five minutes like like it was.

It was wild.

I've never experienced anything like it in my.

Life because my tolerance is also zero.

Yeah, I have a baby, I don't think so.

Yeah, I think I was.

That's like when you weren't really drinking or smoking.

Yeah, I think on your birthday you didn't even really drink because I remember at dinner, the whole dinner fiasco, and you weren't drinking.

Oh yeah, wait, like when I had the allergic reaction.

No no, no no, but yeah, you weren't drinking at that time.

I'm thinking of your birthday dinner because that was the same trip, because remember we did like a birthday dinner thing.

I think it like Mandolin, Oh, I love Miami, Miami is we should go back to Miami and I'll smoke you out.

That sounds great.

I would love that.

We'll do.

Like.

Also, the episode we recorded out there is really cute and wholesome.

Oh yeah in the car yeah, and that was like, is that the first time you were on camera when we like know, the first time he.

Was on camera was in the Flea episode.

The episode yeah yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah yeah.

Because we had no choice.

Everyone was like, who the fuck is that that in the back?

Could I remember the Miami episode because O Ryan put her head on my shoulder and that was the first time that a woman had touched me in eight and a half years, and I just blacked out.

Anyway, this is cool.

Blacked out on video and I watch it, he watches it.

Right, saved tabs.

Whoever has a clip of that on their TikTok y'all need to go through to see who saved it and see if Kai's in there.

Oh my god.

Actually I saw there's a re upload account that's like re uploading ship that you've posted, and this made me laugh so fucking hard.

Fuck.

I hope it's in my legs.

I hope.

I didn't unlike it because I realized it was like a reupload account, and I didn't.

Want to think that that's just me.

I thought it was you too, because.

It's just they spelled my name like one letter wrong or something.

Yeah, guys, if you're listening to this, that's not me.

That's an impostor.

And in Bosters among Us among Us.

A bunch of comments were like, you've already posted these.

You're reheating your own nachos.

I was like, dude, this isn't.

Me reheating your own najas.

You think you're funny, but.

You thought of TikTok that I made.

It's funny.

You should pull that up.

Oh I can't find it.

It's you literally playing with your food.

Oh it's the chicken wings one.

Yeah, I love that.

How much meat is left on the bone.

I forgot about this one that's like when I first downloaded cap cut.

Yeah, I love cap cut.

I love cap cut.

I was literally just talking about that yesterday, like how much you love cap or when I was at the gym, like how much you love cap cut it you might be giving someone a titorial me.

Yeah, I'm not that good.

No, you're good.

I'm good when I'm like the kind of high that I'm watching something like my field there.

Yeah, my best cap cuts happened if I'm watching a show, because I think that's when like the stand in me comes out, like yeah, and I like my last ones are like I made, like, ah, I wonder if I have it.

I have Carrie from Sex in the City where when she wore that stupid fucking hat, I have a good cap cut.

Which one I feel like she wears a lot of well.

When she wore the stupid hat and was like in Dore with the thing in her mouth.

Oh yeah.

Also, speaking of the stand in me, like I went.

To a family cup in your ass, I went to a comedy show for this comedian that like I didn't realize like how obsessed I was with him.

Has that ever happened to you?

Like, I literally like went to the show and I was like, oh, like this is like a peer, like this is a friend, Like I'm gonna buy tickets to support one he puts on like one of my favorite comedy sets I've seen in a very long time.

Like it was so tight, it was so funny, Like I was like crying laughing the whole time.

But then like we hung out after and he would like tell me stories like that happened to him, and I was like, I know this from a TikTok he posted four years ago and never I didn't want to say that because like that's so fucking creepy, but like legitimately, like I was interviewing him because like I I am like a fan of his, and it was like freaking me out kind of.

I mean, no, you watched me do that with the girl your mom?

Uh, your mom Ashley.

Oh yeah, the shoes and shit.

Uh.

We were leaving the Vogue eBay Vintage Market with Colin and we ran into her and I spoke to her and her sisters.

She had the shoes or you had the shoes.

Someone had shoes.

I don't I don't really remember, but I literally spoke to her as if like she was a longtime friend, but really all that meant was my dumb ass was like spewing things about her to her, and then we walked away and I was like, no, I.

Literally I literally did that.

I wasn't spewing it, but I was like, oh, like I like it was like you about.

To act like you didn't know what he was saying, Like oh.

The first thing I fucking told him after his show was like, no, like I'm like a huge fan, Like you don't understand, Like I'm a really big fan of yours, Like I watched this weird, obscure interview you did on another podcast that like no one is talking about, Like I'm like, I'm obsessed with you.

And then the friend I was with was like you literally told him like you were a fan, and I was like, God, I don't give a fuck.

Yeah, if I'm a fan of someone, I'm gonna let them know like what that is.

I will literally always tell someone that, Like I won't.

That won't be the first thing, but the second somebody who I admire and I'm around them and their shit comes up, I I'm not about to act Oblivias.

I'm my girl, You're the goat, Like what like you have to say something nice also like don't be a fucking nerd bitch.

Come on, that's about to tell him.

That you're a fan.

And now when he does the fuck a fan challenge, boom.

Yeah, you're probably on the top of the list.

The top of the list.

Unless he has a boyfriend or something.

I'm sorry, guys, I uh I got caught.

Again doing what like sankeybox?

Oh my god?

Yes, yes, I hate the whole role in like under one minute.

Let me see your son?

Can I see your chop?

Oh my god?

So I don't know that people are recording this ship when I do it.

Yeah, I don't know that.

Yes, why don't you just like go on.

Like fifteen and a month probably on average, it's not like one video is fifteen grand.

It's just four videos.

There's a lot of videos.

Four it's four.

Sure, let's say that there's four.

Wait the first one you were asking to see her dirty sock.

Right, I think that's what it was.

Yeah, and like she held it up and you mounted.

What did he say?

I forget?

Or what did I say?

He was like, Gorge, can I see your sock?

And he like show He's like, oh, like my god, I'm like I don't king shame.

I'm like, get both of y'all, get yours.

Yeah, as long as he's not being fucking creepy in the streets, like I don't give a fuck.

Yeah, he's going to enjoy that chop stick.

Yeah, enjoy that chop stick.

Yeah.

Literally, Like that's the kind of depravity that I'm like, fuck it, Like, literally, you.

How do you get to that money?

Like that?

Over what happens?

Dude?

I don't know.

I think about it all the time because guys, it's not actually me.

Good, that's a this is an ongoing joke on the pata.

It's not me.

You can't back out of it now, bro.

Yeah that's like what that's you?

Okay, So let's just say hypothetically, I didn't have this kink.

I don't understand how people get that.

I don't like the sock thing.

Yeah, I don't understand that.

Like what it's confusing me is that's what I was just about to say.

That's what I was just about to say.

It's like it's three thousand miles away and he's like moaning at chopsticks and like cinnamon rolls.

That's what confuses me because I'm like you could quite literally go on to yelp and go through a few photos and I'm sure you would see like food so good.

Here's maybe it's like like the false sense of connection, like it like is giving a girlfriend vibes for him because it's like tailored to him.

I'm not always just like, how much does nurture versus nature play into this?

How much of kinks are just embedded into your genetic code?

Because I think I think all the kinks are like born I don't really, yeah, I think I think they're literally like something not you're not born with your kings.

I think like something happens in your like adolescents or like when you're Yeah, it's more of a factory.

I think so too.

I think so too.

But I'm like, he wasn't allowed to like do laundry and dishes growing up, so now he's like, I'm sad.

His mom wouldn't let him do the dishes.

Yeah, because he's a man and he grew up in like a really like oh, like the women do the dishes.

Yeah.

My cheese moo, Yes, that's the word that I always use to describe.

My cheesemo cheese moo.

Yeah.

I do think I think some fun shit happens to you and then you're just like kind of weird and you have to deal with it.

But like say, Lovey, just don't be fucking crazy.

At least he's like paying bread to literally see garbage.

It's kind of lit, and I bet he's postmating her that food.

I would put the fact that she didn't even buy, which is fucking lit, like what she's getting paid to literally sit in her crib and watch Love Island and then just FaceTime and show her garbage.

Some people are so freaky and I'm I feel like that's a whole DLC to life that I don't have access.

I was gonna say, like, it also feels like, I mean they live among us, like they're literally among us, and like it.

They're so good at keeping it DL well because it's like like the freak is like DL as fuck, Like I don't know how they do that, Like that's what's like, that's what.

I didn't even know that there were other positions besides mission missionary until recently I had to show them a whole new world.

I was gonna say, I feel like it's really because people either have hobbies that are normal or they make sex their hobby.

And I think a lot of people make sex their hobby and they don't even realize it's their hobby.

I'm like, if that is, if it is something that is not a necessity, that is taking up all of your time, and it is your only source of pleasure, that is a hobby, and you're not even good at the hobby.

Happy you hoes aren't good at the hobby.

Like practice jack of all trades, master of none, ass.

Bitch, jack off, masturbate, jack of all trade, jack off all the trade.

Yeah, oh my god, Oh my god, jack off all the trade, masturbate of none.

Of masturbate never no, no, no.

Jack off all trade, masturbait of none, nuns, and.

Masturbate to none, Like you're jacking them all off, but you're not masturbating to any of them.

Yeah, I guess that works.

I feel like there's a better there's something, there's something there for masturbate to know.

Card made up affair.

We were talking about how like when you meet straight people, like a lot of straight people who only know other straight people, and so Card was specifically saying this, like he has to like indoctrinate them into interesting things like because he's like straight people are awesome, but it's just it's like hard because also what we're talking about being the interesting thing is like how are they going to know that sokrda saying please be calm because of like a video.

You just breathed like that.

What like what I think you might be a mouth breather?

Funny because I I think I am a mouth breather.

I am No, you're not have your mouth?

Oh my god, what the fuck was that?

Kuy?

It's crazy how I start talking for longer than a minute, you start making noises and then you tell me to tate my mouth shut.

That's crazy, cauy, I'm.

The one who interrupts everyone, right, right, No, I really did.

Right.

I hated the last episode because I spoke the whole fucking time.

We go back and forth like that.

I hate it, though I love it.

No, no, no, when I talk, I mean yeah, I hate my voice.

I hated the last episode because I was collapsing in upon myself like a black hole, and I just wasn't a person.

I wasn't a person that episode.

I was.

I'm never a person.

I'm not kidding, like I'm not present, Like oh, I have a really good memory.

I have an amazing memory.

A week from now, I will be able to tell you my week front to back.

But I don't live in the present, like I'm like too panicked.

So yeah, if that makes you feel any better, I'm not here now.

I think my closest equivalent of that is if there's a photo taken of me and I see it.

I have so much dysmorphia for that photo up until around three months and then I'm like, oh, I recognize that as me.

So I don't know if that's related, but I feel like it might be.

I don't know.

Yeah, I feel like I've never seen I feel like every photo I've seen to myself, I feel like I look like a different person and it freaks me out.

It is freaky.

Oh, but the same thing happens to me.

But you're just bad.

You are bad.

No, I'm not.

You're sexy, you're hot, your head.

Straight.

Men go to Sicard as cucumbers and leave as pickles.

Let that marinate that far.

That's really good kind of go to Sicard.

I wish we had Raven glasses on in the moment we came up with that, because it was very like Wow, it was amazing, Like it went like it genuinely went like back and forth.

Like when you told me that at the pool, I was literally like that might be the most genius thing I've ever heard.

I mean, granted, your state at the pool was also the same state of mind that out loud loud as fuck after eating the first airhead went nobody is talking about the best thing on the fucking plane.

That is like really a conversation that people aren't having.

That's like really frustrating to me.

Is like sour airheads, like the new sour airheads.

You've been trying to push this, Like I know, I will.

Push this agenda for it as long as possible until it catches on.

The sour airheads are like so good.

There's more chemicals in them.

Yeah, it's a new picture acid.

Yeah is so good.

There's three new flavors.

It's the ones that in you threw at us.

Oh yeah those are those are this our.

I'm block to that until you said it.

Yeah, I'm sorry, And now I have a kink where I have to shove airheads in my head.

Yeah.

Citr acid is a really underrated and I.

Love when it feels like my enamel is melting off my teeth, Like I can like do this and like my teeth have like a different grit to them.

I hate that feeling.

That's why I don't drink the red bull.

I like can't finish a coke or something all at once because that like a string gent feeling all my teeth.

But also I like, question, do y'all do this?

I go to the bathroom every time the culture question for the culture.

Why can Arianna, Nikki Beyonce and everybody be a slut and I can't?

That's essentially what she was saying, Like no, like.

Baseline, yeah, snap part fuck.

What was I saying?

Oh, I go in the bathroom after I eat every time I eat, and it's because I have to wash my hands.

I have to wipe my mouth.

And I was saying this to somebody and they're like, oh, I'll take like the paper and literally put my finger around it and like take a napkin and like rub my feet or my fear.

Yeah, what the heck you mean your teeth?

Your freaking feet, bro, your feet are not in your Sorry.

I looked at Kai.

Then I got scared and I had to remember if I had socks, and shoes on because he's like close looking.

I took one photo one time.

Run the clip.

I wipe my teeth.

Do you ever do that?

Or no?

Have you ever done that?

Why not?

Because I'm not a fucking weirdo.

That's I feel like that's hygienic.

No, it's it's hygienic, but it's like hygenic to like a degree that I just can't stand behind, Like I'm fundamentally like an unhygienic person.

Like I don't believe, Yeah, you're you're clean.

I know, I'm joking, like I was gonna say, you're like hygienic, but.

I'm I'm normal.

I'm like literally just a normal.

Well you don't wash your hands after you pee a lot?

That I literally I will stand on this till the day I die.

If I had dirty dick, dirty used dick, I would wash my hands, But my dick and balls are spotless and clean.

That's like that.

And I don't touch urine.

I literally don't touch.

Urine when you touch the handle.

Like I flush with my foot.

I'm not even kidding.

I flush with my foot.

Not here obviously, but when I'm out.

In public, Like I just really can't like, you can't sit.

Here and find selfish to flush with my foot because other people touch that handle.

I've thought about it, but in public, I'm like, why would you be putting your hands.

There's some bathrooms that you walk into and you're like, I'm supposed to flush.

Yeah, Like it feels illegal to like my ears are ringing, someone's talking about me.

If that's not the vibe, I'll usually just take paper towel and like, yeah, cover my hands.

Well, speaking of the bathroom, this is what week three of me having my bidet, and it's amazing.

It feels really good to sit on that.

Thing like shot at your butt and it hurts.

No, it like it gives you like fissures on your asshole, Like it literally cuts your like buttthole over.

It likes it because it gives him a real reason to scratch, to scratch his ass in public.

Now.

I like the pressure because it cleans it thoroughly, and I fuck with that.

I actually think that's amazing that you're hygienic in that way.

Yeah, it's And I've also started to use it even when I don't have to ship.

I'll just sit on there when i'm feeling bad.

Yeah, that's you're just like when you're in a sad mood, you just spray your ass with water.

It's like I actually I was going to say, like thirty percent of this is real, Like it's not.

When you're sad, you just like sit on it.

And I have caught myself procrastinating on work that I have to do by like being like getting my probably dirty.

I really can't get on you because what's the what's the process?

I would what's the process after using a day?

Because that's what Like I funk with a bidet.

I love a biday, but like my soggy bottom, like with paper to toilet.

Paper to just wipe your butt, just.

Like half to take them.

It's one plied toilet paper and my fingers break through and I start fingering my asshole because like.

Well, that's why you have to wash your fucking hands.

You should be washing your hands.

I don't want to be touching my asshole when I'm in the bathroom.

You should probably wash your hands before.

Like a lot of times if I'm out in public, I will wash my hands before I use the bathroom.

Wait, and yeah, I think you're completely missing the point.

Like I actually enjoy as in a public toilet.

Bitch.

I was at I was out and about.

I was doing my thing.

Okay, I was with my buddies and we were all just like talking in a circle and we're just kiki.

It's actually it's actually it's actually the guy that it was like our guy said that you're by a.

I was like talking to him and I was talking to my other friend and we're just like laughing boots whatever, and then.

Laughing boots whatever, laughing boots.

Also the way holding the mic, I know, it was really.

Like, it's good, it's erganomic.

But I've never seen anybody hold it like that.

Homophobic.

Yeah, well no, when your foot was up, it actually made sense because it was like this balancing act.

Now it just looks stupid.

Now I am going to be homophobic stupid.

But I we were just like talking in this dude that's like like tweaking off something like literally like spazzing out here.

This guy came up for another drink.

Yeah, tweaking of something.

He walks up and he's like, does anybody have like does anybody have any like blow?

And we're all like no, and he's like, can I have a lighter?

Like can I have a cigarette And we're like no, and he's like, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, you're handsome, you're beautiful.

Then he points to me, I'm not kidding, and he says, you're and then just walks away.

I'm not kidding.

I didn't say a fucking word to this man.

But he goes, you're handsome, You're beautiful.

Your gowns, ball gowns, beautiful, beauty, beautiful, beautiful gowns.

Gown.

Wait, so did you know him?

No, no, idea, none of my friends knew him either.

He just like pulled up and just like sneak dissed me.

And honestly, you should have in that like moment seeing if you could get a whole old of laced coke and then give it to him any o DS and then he will literally learn to never do that.

That's that is good.

I have.

I have been putting fintanyl in coke recently, and to teach people lessons.

That's really smart.

Yeah, I feel like it's I feel like it's gonna like clean trend.

I think yeah, I think people like are gonna stop doing coke soon.

Oh my god, brou I think like I thought people did stop for a while.

Yeah, it did for like five years, but it's a procession sign.

I feel like it's literally you know.

You know how in two thousand and eight, all the music was.

Like we're gonna go crazy, We're gonna drink in the club.

We're gonna drink in the club, like we're gonna.

Did see a statistic that was like people are gen Z's drinking more now than they were?

And then like literally like four years ago, it was like gen Z had like the lowest drinking.

I mean to be fair, like is it most of gen Z now above the legal drinking?

So like, finally, what does that mean?

What do you say?

Like are you happy people get to drink or like you hoping to like see like twenty one year old drinking?

I love one year old.

Don't make me drink a lot.

That's like literally my vibe.

No, that's me.

But it's smoking and nobody smokes with me.

And everybody gets mad that I talk about smoking so often.

Sorry that you're so used to doing it that you don't have to like tell anybody about it, But like it's still not normal that I.

Do that all the time.

I literally was never like like I cried laughing when that guy just looked at me with silence after complimenting everybody I was with, like and it then, Oh that I fucking forgot about this then, Like me and my friend was we were talking about it like after and like we were just like I was like, do you know that guy?

And he was like, no, I don't know who that is, Like none of us know him.

And I was like, whoa.

He's like he's on one and we like turn around and he's like doing like like crazy shit in this circle behind us.

But we didn't realize that how close he was.

And like we're just talking about it, and I like retell that story and I'm like, yeah, he like literally just called me ugly and nasty and disgusting without saying a fucking word.

It was hilarious.

Well, five minutes later he comes back by and he's kind of like mellowed out and level, and he was like, hey, I just wanted to say you're like really cute, by the way, and like you're handsome and you're beautiful, but like you're really cute, and so he made up for it, like he made up for it later and like he was just so scared that, like he like actually hurt my feelings.

But I was like, no, like it's really hard to hurt my feelings because I will just monetize it on my podcast.

Yeah, you see a paycheck every time I get.

You see trauma, I see chit ching ching ching.

Hold on, no, don't.

Okay, I almost just kissed you.

I know I almost kissed you too.

But we have to say I've gotten really good at physical touch.

Right, yeah, he has, he has.

I what did I say?

Oh?

He his physical touch you to feel like if a doll came to life, Like if a doll just learned it and they didn't have joints yet.

So these movements like I knew, like the I knew that, like you wanted that and like required that for like healing, because you would do it to me like when I was down bad.

So I was just like, oh, this is something like she would want done to her.

So like when I was like rubbing your glitterius when you were sad, like it was awkward for me.

No, but like a really good job for your first time.

That was like my eight hundred billionth time.

Let's get it.

I mean it.

We said we would restart because it hadn't worked time before.

No, But like when I would like touch you, I was I just didn't know how to do it, and I like we would be like this far apart on my bed and I would just be.

Like, ironically you would do that, like I'd be like sitting and that's so sad to be fair, when I started giving you guys physical effects, and at first, I, if anything, I felt like a perverb because like our group wasn't physically affectionate at all for the most part, like kind of but like we weren't.

Like we've definitely as we've all grown older, we'd become more like likely to like hold each other and like grab each other for a hug.

But like when I would first start doing it, I remember like when of y'all would be sitting crying and I would like always like go up and like just like grab one of them, and then like while they're talking, and I always do that, like I always grab people like that, and then it does cross my mind that like.

Wait, also, it was like in the car, like you moaned when I touched you yesterday when we were.

Driving, because you've gotten so good at it.

Yeah, like I'm not even kid, I'm not even.

Kidding so low that now it's like.

I literally did this move.

I was just like pat, Pat, Pat, and it was like and it was like, oh wait, like that was so good.

No, it wasn't that.

It was you, I have really bad pain right here, and you like grabbed my back or something.

He like rubbed you rubbed a finger into my back and it felt really good and I did let out of it.

And I do remember that you have on better at physical touch because after he'll actually cuddle with me.

Where's four before you would just get up and immediate.

I would roll the tarp up.

You could roll the tarfaup bose you down with.

You would have one.

He would be on grinder with his phone, and then you'd just be spraying indiscriminately in the corner.

And then and then you would get me a fucking uber pool home.

Oh my god.

I feel like I used to be in an uber all the time.

But that's when we first moved here, and like we actually had like stamina to be outside.

I want to be outside again.

But like also now it just sucks.

The only thing that is annoying about being somebody who wants to be social and getting older and by no means are we all whatever?

I have become so picky.

I think that's really the real reason I don't go out as much anymore.

Is I am so picky because I'm like, I am not gonna fucking torture myself to be in a random ass bar with bitch.

Like what, like I want to go like dancing somewhere cute.

I want to dance.

I want to dance so bad.

We should all go dancing, like for real, for real, Josiah needs it bad, like Kai and I were talking about, like we want to learn how to dance, like unironically, like I just want to like feel my body and move, like.

Let's go on Friday I dance.

I feel like I'm the only dancer left.

Also, like the thing is dan though I loved Wait, what was I gonna say?

Oh, completely derailing the conversation, Like I don't know why this thought.

Oh no, like dancing high school musical but like we went and visited the high school music Yeah we did, and we didn't talk about it.

But like in Utah they filmed it in Salt Lake City at like East High School or something like that, and then or more it's really really crazy.

It's like actually the school, just the.

School and people fucking go there.

Bro, like we met we met somebody who went there, like we were.

At Alta to East.

I spoke a joint in front of East High.

I'm crazy, I don't go fuck I oh Me and Drew.

We were role playing super Super Super Super Super seniors.

Yeah, I mean there's a few more supers in there.

Super super super Super Damn are you Are you gonna go to your high school reunion?

Yeah?

I was literally like thinking about that like a couple of days ago because I was like, wait, like that's very soon soon, But no, I will absolutely not.

I will not be going.

What I think I gonna go to mine.

I feel like mine is gonna be fun.

No, yours will be lit as fun.

It means a card.

We're talking about it, and we were like, wait, we kind of need.

To like, no, that's gonna be fun because people like will have fun, like grand Berry, Texas, like everyone has like kids.

No, literally literally, yeah, there are people from my class who have kids and stuff, but they're still fun.

People from Miami.

So I guess like Miami is just like different, But I think it'll be fun also I think means a card or planning on like doing the first ever, like you know the Nationals cheer teams.

We're gonna do the first ever just like duo team of it, and we're still figuring out the songs on the rotation.

But right now it's funck.

I have to ask him what exactly it was?

Yes, and by Rihanna, by Arihanna and then but every transition is gonna be the real transition.

Who is transitioning?

No, she was talking about something else.

Oh, sorry, continue, No.

That was kind of it.

As I was going, I was like, actually, this is.

I'm sorry about my buy friend.

You're what.

My bye friend?

That's what that is.

I didn't get invited to my reunion?

Do you have to get invited?

I don't know because I didn't get it.

I didn't hear about it, but I don't even know if it happened.

And I also don't know if a college.

I get invited.

I can't imagine who from my school would reach out like yeah, how does that?

It's always it's literally like one person that like is like, oh we should do this, and then yeah, they like message you on me and.

The carter are going to be the people and do like a crazy pep rally like I want a concert like like that would be fun.

That would be We're gonna get a DJ Chipman to perform arm ecstasy.

Uh was it Brian Mode Trick Daddy.

It's gonna be a whole lineup.

It's gonna be crazy tricks.

We're going to get JT and Young Miami back together.

WHOA, that's exciting.

I would love that.

The last time I was in my hometown, I drove by my Bye.

Imagine you as my therapist.

Gay guys started as you drove, Let's talk about that part.

Let's talk about that.

Pussy yeah, recounting your sexual traumas that has been through.

I drove by my My my middle school, and I got hit by such a such a potent wave of nostalgia that I slept the rest of the day at my parents house.

It was really weird.

I was like, this is fucking crazy.

Do you like nostalgia?

Oh?

You hate it?

I don't.

I think it's it's like a squarely melancholy feeling, which I do think part.

Of I really I don't know if I kind of love nostalgia because I love being sad but it like makes me so yeah, its oh god, I wonder what like the evolutionary advantage of nostalgia's is just like memory, Like like that's a good question.

I like kind of.

I don't think we need nostalgia as much as like it's being used.

Now, Like I don't weaponize.

It's literally a problem.

But I've also never been because I'm not somebody who I wish I was better, because I do have friends who are really good at documenting everything, and they're like super obsessed with nostalgia.

Sorry, Drue is topping Chai off.

And it actually feels pretty good this time.

Okay, Oh well that one was on my prostate, and you know I like that.

Bring up prostates right now?

You know you can't bring up prostates right now, y'all.

Do not bring up prostates.

I need something to go back and track all the times during a mental health crisis.

Drew Phillips has publicly talked about a disease that he has, but he doesn't have.

Guys, my drat bladder, my dra My data isn't planing, my bladder isn't draining properly.

Wait, what do you mean?

I can't I can't finish peeing when I go pee.

And this happened to me in like January, and then it just went away and I didn't think anything of it, didn't go to the doctor, and then this happened, and I was like, Oh, I need to get this shit looked at.

So my oh my fucking god, my doctor was so creepy, y'all.

I, oh my god, my doctor was a fucking weirdo freak bitch.

And I like kind of was obsessed with it.

I know you are, because he's gone back three times.

Yeah, well, no, they keep schedule appointments because they think I have cancer Hodgkins lymphoma as he said, which also I'm like, that's what I was saying, Like a doctor should not even even if there's like an inkling inside of them, they should not say that to a patient.

Ever, he was like he did like a lymph node screening, and he like ran through all my things and he was like, could be Hodgkins lymphoma, Like let's get you in tomorrow.

And I was like, oh my god, what, oh my god.

But I like, like, I know this is like probably illegal, Like I don't know, like, but like he was really fucking weird from the jump, like really weird.

Like he like looked at me, and within like five minutes he was like kind of sneaked tossing me and he was like listen, like like in my office, like we treat like all types of kids around your age and like like like people that live on our bridge.

And he like held his hand out and pointed at me like no, literally he was like insinuating that, like I was like a home almost kid, and I looked at my outfit and I was like, girl, what the fuck?

Like I was wearing like a nice ass outfit, and like he was like he was like you can really trust me because we treat like all types of people like you.

And I was like, what the fuck is happened?

Like literally what is happening?

And like there was a very clear switch, like you know when a doctor asks you, are you like suctually active?

Yes?

Man or woman?

Man, there's like always there, there's like this brief hesitation.

Literally his was like oh cool, and like he moved on, but then he started getting fucking weird and creepy, like he was not probably.

H'm telling you you could possibly have like essentially terminal cancer like.

With this no, he was like a could be hodgkinsling Filma, but like that's like the best cancer to get because like there's like a ninety ninety percent like success right now.

I was like like in that moment when I was watching this man, like you know how actors every once in a while they're like I met this person, and I like the entire role was like fulfilled, Like I knew how I was gonna act based off this person, Like this person is my muse.

Like I was like, if I was an actor, this would have been a fucking gold mine.

He was so bizarre, but like like I like I don't know how to describe it.

Like he kept trying to doctor curse.

But he kept trying to like prove himself to me, like prove his like coolness and prove his like intelligence, and like he would be like I'm not gonna speak doctor speak to you, like I'm gonna like I'm gonna like lay it how you want.

And then he'd like go on this like really long, weird winded like hyper medical terminology like just like the just something I literally would never understand, Like even if I went to fucking college for like five years and I'd be like what and he was like, oh, sorry, sorry, but he kept trying to like prove how smart.

I literally.

Sounds like like two children in a trend whip.

No, it literally was giving that, and I think what happened.

I was like started psychoanalyzing him.

And I was like, one, like, we're in this giant medical building and he's on the fourth floor and it's all doctors above him, and they all perform surgeries and shit.

And he made it very clear to me that he did didn't do surgery.

So I think he's like a little insecure about his place in like the medical space.

And like he went on this like also long winded tangent about like the medical equipment he uses and how like in this building, like we have the best equipment like all the other doctors doctors that come to me for like medical testing.

And I was like, dude, whoa, this is like this was crazy, but yeah, the the fuck?

Oh he literally on my computer.

He literally is just the underdog.

He's you got trapped in a room with like the Anthony Fantano of music critiques.

It's like everyone comes to me and nobody gives a fuck.

Apparently.

No, that's literally like it was.

It was like the Anthony Fantano of doctors.

Yeah, like he's like, oh, I I'm no like established critic, but it's funny how everyone wants to know my score, Like that's not guid inlab.

I don't think Anthony Fantano has ever talked like that, but if I was him, that's how I would talk.

So I'm kind of projecting onto that person.

Yeah, and I've actually never seen a full video posode.

I was thinking about Anthony Fantano the other day because I saw he gave an album a bad review, and I was like, this is kind of a scary job to have to honestly give music and so entire subcultures and like insane fans bad reviews and objectively give it a number and be like this is a bad thing.

And I'm like, that would be really scary to have that job.

I think, I don't know, I would be much more inclined to talk about things I liked than the things I don't like, because I'd be terrified pretty consistently.

Like, I don't know if I agree with a lot of his takes, but I feel like he does have his own integrity, which.

Which is cool, which is really what like I think a critiques job when it's something that subjective is is like take your information and like make sure like that's your opinion.

Yeah, but I'm like, at any one point, this guy probably has like half a million people that have lost their minds, that like.

Want to kill And at any one point, the worst man you've ever liked and had a crush on was a watch every fucking revas.

Entire music personality off of Anthony Fantana's like top five albums.

We aren't becoming more gay people are realizing they have been gay, and.

That is a sign of a recession.

No, that's a sign of a gay man.

Is why are you obsessed with another man's playlist essentially.

With the amount of gay people is a recession indicator?

Really?

Does that spike before housing crisis?

Yes, guys were at an hour, So.

Whoa, I have to cut everything I just had for the last.

Thirty minutes for the last thirty minutes.

Yes, you're saying so much funny, So no, I'm kidding.

Okay, good?

I hate that.

No, no, no, no, don't do that.

I don't like that.

Oh wait, I think I found my Carrie edit.

I did this one sucks.

I think this is one of my first audits.

I mean, enough many and my big hat, Like, was that like supposed to be chic or was it supposed to be silly?

I think it was supposed to be like sexy and silly question mark, but like, I don't really know, because something about the fashion world is they actually don't fucking play around about weird hats and like specifically like a top hat, like a very structured like I don't know why that's there's so many more hats.

I don't know why.

That's the It was really sad about the New Sex and the City is I personally am like I don't think that the outfits and wardrobe is great in the New Sex and the City, but it's so good and like so much of the original show, and I was like, it's really sad to see some of the fits that they're pulling.

I never finished Sex in the City past season five because I can't lie.

I was like enough enough enough.

Yeah, I was just like fucking get over it.

Oh my god, wow.

Which is I'm sure I missed a lot, but I've seen like two of the movies.

The movies aren't even cannon in my opinion, but they're funny.

They are really funny, and that's kind of all that matters, if you ask me.

I'm trying to see if I have any more like cap cuts than I want to like show and tell, because oh wait, I posted my Nathan one.

That's fine shit, that's literally fine shit giggling and kicking my fing literally giggling.

Imagine him making you laugh like when y'all are just in.

I don't think he could actually make me laugh that hard.

If I'm being so honest, I think he would actually make me incredibly uncomfortable.

Actually, I agree, I think he would scare the fuck out of me.

I don't think.

I don't think that's someone I actually want to be around.

Most of my like crushes and people I find attractive are people I want absolutely nothing to fucking do with, and I don't believe they should be like in my life.

Then why am I here?

Because I use you like a sex object.

That's different.

I don't have a crush on you, that's true, My fire, it burns in my my clitteress.

Yeah, Drew's going through because Drew.

Gave me HPV and BB.

That's not cool.

That's dirty, dick.

We can't stop giving each other bb because neither of us wants to stop hooking up and neither of us wants to stay on antibiotic.

They call me Kai Big Perfect Penis new Man.

Yeah, we gotta we gotta go, Yeah, we gotta go.

We're losing it right right.

My media of the week, We're not friends.

That was sexy, right.

No, No, we keep trying.

Though, Okay, okay.

My media of the week is Shoot the Mood by Judy suky And and Pale Shelter Tears for Fears one on one, Hauling Oats every Oh Daylight by Lancy.

And then the Day likely gains it up off phone because in the day.

And Baby Pink by Kamelokobeo.

My media is music is My Hot Hot Sex thirty one hundred million by Soldier Boy.

Music is My Hot Hot Sex is CSS Machines Dream by Nobu Katsu Takamori.

And then what song was I listening super earlier that I was like, oh eventually by Tame and Paula.

Oh, that is a good one.

That is such a six so easy to shoot on Tam and Paula.

But some of those songs are.

Really Yeah, it's like he's just like a victim of like oversaturation and popularity, but like he he's really good.

Did you know that it's just one guy?

Yeah?

I didn't know about Time and Paula until Rihanna did a cover of their song and then I was hanging out his song.

It's one guy, same fucking difference.

I don't give a WHOA.

Like AFX Twins is one person.

That's there are two people.

No, bye guys.

We signed to iHeart yay, Oh right, I.

Forgot about that.

Also, if you haven't noticed, I'm sure you have.

On our cover it has a little iHeart logo and that's because we signed to iHeart, which is insane because I grew up listening to the radio.

And the reason I do this is because I wanted to be on Elvis Durant in the morning show.

That was my dream.

My dream was actually to take Elvis's job.

But luckily enough, annoying people online liked me, and iHeart now likes me.

So now expects some major changes.

Everything is gonna change, like this everything gone being change.

Yeahah yeah, those are going to be flipped different.

Yeah, it's gonna be Kai and his sister next week.

Yeah, it's gonna be me and myself ready for that.

No, but we joke around.

But there's gonna be a CAKM.

We're just figuring out the what resolution I want it to be?

Imax?

Yeah, he wants it projected on the back wall.

What's it called?

Projector projector mapping?

Projector mapping kai onto like random toys.

Wait, that's actually genius.

But yeah, I guys about KAK.

I got the emails of the production team.

I've been emailing them a lot.

I actually got their phone numbers, and I found their instagrams and I d M.

Yeah, I don't DM the women on the I Heart crew.

No, it was at three am.

I don't think that they saw it.

So what did you say?

Hey, what's up?

Why wouldn't you just say it was for work?

Why would you like?

I want to freak them out.

I think a bad habit I've had since we signed up iHeart is I keep texting people once the work day is over, and only when the worked it's over.

So usually I like email everybody back around six PM and I just blast their emails all night, so their phone is all the counters like, but it's really useless questions like oh my god or not even questions.

I'm like so excited we're with you guys now, and then no response because like they responded the first one hundred times.

Yeah, yeah, but we're super excited threading a lot of value to our show, so we're like, I know, we're like really, we're we're keen on showing you the future of emergency dot com because we have some big, big plans, big things coming.

All right, thanks for listening.

By ye three