Episode Transcript
I can't do this.
I can't be trusted right, Yeah, No, that's too much stress.
I don't don't ever trust Jody.
That's the I mean motto I live like.
Speaker 2Wow, Wow, there's certain things you should trust me with.
Being responsible for any sort of electronics is probably not one of them.
Speaker 1It's not one of them.
No, No, how are you?
Baby?
Hi?
I'm great.
I'm doing a lot better than you apparently, so.
Uh right, I'm fully in fall mode.
I yes, yeah, yeah, I've been baking.
I know this is a this is a rare occurrence.
I love this.
Okay.
I baked per simmon bread with simmons from my backyard.
Oh my god, I have per simmons in my bowl right now?
Are they fully?
They're full of persimmons?
Yeah, so are delicious.
I love them.
Yeah, I've learned a lot.
I didn't know there were different kinds of persimmons.
There's like a big yeah.
Oh they're so good.
Oh they're delicious.
Yeah, it's a little it's like a cousin of a pump like pumpkin bread is kind of what it tastes like.
Speaker 2Yeah, yeah, like sices, probably of the nutmegs and the things.
Speaker 1Cinnamon, the nutmeg, all the sugars.
Look at you.
I know it was So I've made some persimmons.
I'm going to try a persimon margarita a little bit later.
Okay, I think you should have done it now, you know what I mean.
Just let's start tasting.
It's you know, these days, somewhere there are no rules anymore.
Maybe it doesn't matter.
How do you think you have?
Speaker 2Eighty percent of the people in the world are probably drinking at ten am these days.
Speaker 1Okay, next week it'll be a happy hour at ten am on Howard Dannerita.
Right, everybody show up a little little sauce, right, Yeah, but I like it.
I also have pamellos.
Sorry, I'm just going to talk about.
Speaker 2Please do for a minute for Simmons and pamelos, Simmons and promelos.
Speaker 1So I tried to make a pamello margarita the other night.
It did not go well.
No, they're huge.
Speaker 3They're massive, and they're massive and a little bitter.
Speaker 1So they're too grapefruity.
I'm not I'm gonna say they're very They're very, very.
Speaker 2Much like a grapefruit, so they're a little I love grapefruit, but I don't know that I would want it.
Speaker 3Like in a well, I don't know, I like grapefruit juice.
Speaker 1Oh see, I don't, I I do, I like any of it.
So why I thought I would like a pamello?
Have you ever?
Have you ever had a pamelo before?
No?
Oh okay, So it's just because.
Speaker 2It's in your backyard and you were like, hey, yeah, I'm like, what am I going to do with this?
Speaker 1Is that happy thing?
All sized?
Right?
You're like, oh my god, that lemon has a problem.
Yeah it's Yeah.
Speaker 2The neighbor across the street from us here has pomelos and.
Speaker 1Yeah, oh yeah, I know.
So I think part of the problem is there's not as much juice.
They're not as juicy as I was.
They're pretty dry.
Like yeah, it took me three pamelos just to make two margaritas.
And I'm like, this is I could feel like lemon And yeah, it's like a losing game, you know.
Speaker 2Yeah, as big as they are, you shouldn't have to use more than one.
Speaker 1I agree, I should be able to like, you know, that should give you a gallon of juice?
Agree?
But no, it gave me like two ounces maybe wow, one one pamelo.
So yeah, not a fan of the pamelos.
Okay, what am I doing?
What am I next?
I don't know.
Well, we have tangerines.
Those won't be ready until late November, like a little tangerine.
Yeah, tangerines are delicious.
Next year, I hope to have some cherries.
Okay, that's past cherry pickies.
We got three cherries this year, so I'm very hopeful for next year that we're going to get more than three.
Speaker 2My poor, sad little garden that I was all excited about.
Speaker 1It was the mice.
Speaker 2The little mouse figured out how to climb up the back of my thing around the netting and got in and spaked all of my cucumbers.
Every day I come out and there was one more man and all of the cucumbers were gone, picked off my peppers and the tomatoes, and so I was just like, wow, get it.
Everything is just like growing and dead, and.
Speaker 1I'm like I can't even.
It was so mad because it was so we were so there, and then it was like he was very the mouse was quite thrilled.
He was for sure, he really he was very well fed.
I've got to figure out how to remedy that for next year.
The fact that you tried with the netting and then you were still thwarted by the mouse.
Speaker 2Well it's narrow, I've realized it's there.
Speaker 3It's the little I left that much behind.
Speaker 1The they can get standing uh.
Speaker 2Planter, and it's you know, rough woods, so they just climbed right up in it.
Speaker 1Oh man, those little buggers.
They're very, very smart and they can fit in any size of space.
Speaker 3It's cabable anyway.
Speaker 2So yeah, my garden is not as uh fruitful as yours.
Speaker 1Not as fruitful.
Well, I had to rescue the pamellos from the deer because I had deer in my backyard eating not the pamelos, I'm sorry, the per simmons.
Oh, I was gonna say.
I was like, wow, deer has a interesting taste balad.
Yes, this is like I love the bitterer.
Yeah.
No, no, they don't like the bitter, but the pamelos yeah or no the per Simmons's.
Yeah, they were just like snacking on those, and so I'm like, no, I'm going to harvest the rest of these.
You go, why are you crying?
Sorry, little little why are you crying?
She's staring at the door and she's whining.
I'm very sorry.
I'm just going to dominate this pre show chatter.
I walked in before I even started this, and you're like, Hey, how's everybody's day?
And I was like, I hate everything?
So I went on an therapy.
Yeah.
Yeah, we had a little ten minute Yeah, therapeutic.
It's venteene sash.
That's it's been.
Speaker 3It's just been like two weeks of is what it is?
Speaker 1You know what?
Speaker 2I suggest things where you're like, it's just you feel like the salmon swimming upstream constantly.
Speaker 1Nothing is.
Everything is ten times harder than it needs to be.
Speaker 2I don't know how many planets are in retrogade right now, but it's got to be all of them.
Speaker 1I don't know something.
And we're getting ready to turn the clocks back.
So you hate you hate that?
Yeah, God, it's all connected.
That's it.
I'm dead, all connected.
I'm just gonna fall into a deep depression now.
Sorry, we'll wake you up when it's you know what, I need.
Speaker 3A hibernate, that's really what I need to do.
Speaker 1We're looking for a replacement co host, just for.
Speaker 2The Jody taken into her little cave and will not be coming out that's literally what I felt like doing.
Speaker 1Like this whole week, I've been like, no, I don't want to anymore.
He was like, I've gotten a stupid accident, not even a bad one.
Speaker 3And it wasn't even in my car.
It was a Misscal's car, his.
Speaker 1Brand of car.
The more you told me about this, the worse it got.
It was.
I'm glad you're okay.
Speaker 2The car itself, the body is fine.
But the guy hit the passenger wheel and pushed it in.
The wheel took all the impact.
So now you got alignment, you got struts, you got the power steering it.
It's like it's all kind of like six thousand dollars, which is insane.
Speaker 1You'd think, oh, I'll just change this tire.
Speaker 2Tire with the the tire wasn't even flat.
Speaker 1It wasn't even flat, was like not even hard.
Speaker 2It just hit like in the right way and pushed it in.
And I was like, oh, look, lick the paint off.
Speaker 1It was you didn't do anything.
Speaker 2Yeah, yeah, the same guy was the same thing.
And now I'm like, but my, but now.
Speaker 1It's not so good.
Anyway, I'm sorry.
Speaker 2I went and worked out this morning and just tried to like lift heavyweights and did that help?
Speaker 1No?
No, but I tried.
That's okay, it didn't make it worse.
Okay, well that's good, that's good.
But it didn't you didn't have the cleansing effect of a good workout where you're just sweating out all of your aggravation.
Speaker 2I sweated out a lot of aggravation.
But I think I'm so full of it that it's gonna take.
It's gonna take a lot more sweating than that.
Speaker 1It's gonna take.
Yeah, it's gonna take a few sessions.
Yeah, I don't know.
I'm also just perimenopausal and angry.
You know what I mean?
You ever had you know when you have those days.
Speaker 2But it's been multiple days where I just wake up and I'm like, everything.
Speaker 1Is wrong everything?
Yeah, no, I get it.
I Hey, I went through menopause during the pandemic and my mother's death.
Oh my god.
I was just like nobody if you didn't hear from me for a year or two, that's why that's literally me.
I'm like, I don't want to talk to my friends, I don't want to talk to anybody.
Don't ask me to do anything.
You just like, don't talk to me.
I am incapable.
Yeah, you just want to like off the tree, uncapable.
Speaker 3Birth Like I am always very capable.
Speaker 2So when I have these moments when I'm like, I just I can't handle life, like.
Speaker 1The mouse has the mouse has won, the mouse the mouth everything, it's uh one at all won?
I lost.
It's a metaphor for your life.
The mouse ate everything.
Speaker 2Now say everything gardens in shambles.
Speaker 1I am I need a shower.
I don't know.
Well, you know what would make you feel much better is discussing an episode that revolves completely around Michelle.
Oh, yes, how did you don't put you in a good mood?
Is the thing that is?
It is the salve to my soul?
Maybe that's what started your chain of bad events.
Maybe that's what.
Speaker 3No, No, this happened long before I watched the episode.
Speaker 1Much are you watching it?
Speaker 2Didn't?
Speaker 1I was like, oh here week out?
Yeah we go?
Yeah, yeah, so it's missing.
Was a mond a bad montage or a dream sequence?
Was this about?
It was almost a dream sequence, that's true.
Speaker 2Yeah, it wasn't this shy of a dream sequence.
Speaker 1It was bad whatever it was?
Yes?
Oh boy, Well, welcome back to how Rude Tanertos I'm Andrea Barber and I'm Jodie Sweeten.
Maybe I don't know.
Speaker 2I've decided if I want to continue being here today.
Speaker 1You mean whoever you want to be?
Yeah, this is uh today we're discussing, like how do I start this show?
They we're discussing Season five, episode nineteen, The Devil Made Me Do It?
Like this everything this episode okay.
This originally aired February eighteenth, nineteen ninety two, and it goes a little something like this.
When Michelle's disobedience lands her in the doghouse, the little bow wow in her wants to bite back.
Meanwhile, DJ plays buffer between a bickering Stephanie and Kimmy.
Hmmm great.
Speaker 2I feel like the synopsis has gotten more descriptive.
Speaker 1Well, metaphors we have, Like, I feel like the whatever.
Speaker 2Ai we chose to do that has like really upped its game.
Speaker 1It's like it's around on im yeh right.
Speaker 2Let me have a little theme in here of dogs and yeah, yeah, no, it is getting a little bow wow in her wants wants to bite back.
Speaker 1Yeah.
If this was a creative writing exercise, I would give it an a absolutely yes.
This episode was directed by Joels Wick it was written by Elias Davis, a name that is not familiar, so let's blame Let's blame him for all of the mister Dave.
Speaker 3I'm sorry, sorry, David, mister Davis.
Speaker 1We have a whole bunch of guest stars this week, fabulous guest stars.
Barkley returns as Little bow Wow Sparky.
He's the best, so kissed.
We will see him one more time after this, but not until.
Speaker 2She almost made as many appearances as Debbie Gregory, except the same character.
Speaker 1He had more continuity than Debbie Grecchory.
Speaker 2Yeah.
Speaker 1Then we have Anthony S.
Johnson as Henry Taj's dad.
And this is another actor who did a ton of guest appearances in the day.
He was on Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Married with Children, Murder.
She wrote just all of the all of the top hits of the day.
Then we have Virginia Watson as joe Anne the Mom, and she too did a lot of guest appearances.
She was on Matt Locke Home Improvement and Parker Lewis Can't Lose I remember that show.
Thought about that show.
Speaker 2Right.
Speaker 1Then we have Tamara Mowray Howsley.
That's a lot of that's a lot of syllables in my in my mouth.
Finally, this is it.
We got all three Mowriy siblings on the show this week, which is fantastic.
Obviously technically only two.
You're right, they're playing the same character.
I think it's just one of them.
That's not They're only in one scene.
I don't think they're both credited, So yeah, who I wonder which one it is.
I don't mytory.
It was weird to see like twins playing the role of what ten year old fifteen year old?
I don't know how old she was in this episode, but it was like, yeah, usually that's reserved for toddlers, but no, this time they had teenage teenage twins.
Anyways, best known for the hit TV series Sister Sister with her twin sister Tia.
She also played doctor Kayla Thornton on the TV series Strong Medicine, and she has an impressive list of Christmas movies and mystery movies with Lifetime and Hallmark and then Tia is also credited for the role of Denise.
She along with Sister Sister, she did one hundred episodes of a TV series called The Game, which is a spin off of Girlfriends.
They did one hundred episodes.
Yeah, I'm like, how do I never read this show?
Yeah, it's fantastic.
And then she did twenty sixty five episodes of a Nickelodeon series called Instant Mom in twenty thirteen.
I have heard of that one, okay.
And then she too has a lot of Christmas movie credits to her name.
Fantastic, I love it.
The Mowory's the Mowerys are on the set this week.
Yes, they are fantastic.
Speaker 2We have Taught and Tamara were there though, because they were like my age and so you could hang out.
Speaker 1They were always around.
That's right, That's so cool.
And I do wish I knew which one was playing the role of Denise.
I know I do too.
An they're birth credited.
How does that work with twins?
Do they both get paid or do they split the fee?
Like, I don't know how this works when you're like, you have to pay both of them, but are they getting the same amount of pay as if it was just one of them and then you have to split it or I have so many questions about this.
I never thought about this until right now.
Hmm.
Idea, did they have to pay the Olsen twins for the two other roles that they played this week, the Devil and the Good Michelle and the Bad Michelle.
Did they get extra?
Right?
You got for that too, because I think technically you're supposed to get paid if you do a different perform if you do a different character, you have to get paid.
Speaker 3I don't think so, no, those in a series.
Speaker 1Oh I thought no, because I think it would be because it's it's you're like, you're under contract to do whatever they write in the script.
Speaker 2Oh, so you they should have had I have.
Speaker 1Just three actors playing all of the full house cast, like completely, you know, like how we did the Secret Admirer episode on how Rude Tanner.
Speaker 3Exactly, just us playing everything.
Speaker 1Hey, you know what, that's that's a bargain right there.
They should have just hired us to do it all.
Yeah.
Anyways, So Tas is back as Teddy, Darlene Vogel returns as Wendy Tanner, and Journey Smolette is credited in this episode, even though she wasn't in it, so I don't know credit.
We've got people credited that are in it.
We got people that aren't credited who are it's you know, the only thing.
The only consistency is Barkley.
Really, Barkley is the only kids.
Speaker 3He's the He's the one thread that runs throughout all of.
Speaker 1Full House, right, yeah, he is.
I love that little Love that little guy, Love that Amphibian, Love that Amphibian.
We start with the teaser in DJ's room.
Michelle walks in with a kid's portable speaker and microphone and she announces, guess what time it is.
DJ is typing away at her computer and shrugs four thirty, and Michelle exclaims, Nope, it's time for the Michelle Show, and she starts singing her made up theme song.
Speaker 3This is very meta, right yeah, I'm like, yes it is.
Speaker 1At first, I was like, oh, that's funny how she said this is the Michelle Show.
And I'm like, oh no, she really meant it, Like she really meant that.
Oh boy.
DJ admits she loves that show, but she has the homework show to do right now.
Michelle completely ignores her, and she continues, My first guest is Yogi Bear, and she does her Yogi Bear impression and says, I'm smarter than your average bear.
DJ gives a monotone response, terrific show one of your best.
Then Michelle puts the mic right in front of DJ and shouts here's DJ.
DJ reminds her that she doesn't do impressions, but Michelle is insistent.
She repeats once more.
Here's DJ.
DJ reluctantly deepens her voice and says, I'm George Washington.
I was your very first president.
How's it going?
Speaker 2Always a good idea to pick an impression that no one can verify.
Speaker 1No one's heard it, right, that's actually kind of brilliant.
Speaker 2Might yeah, you be like, I'm gonna do an impression of Ben Franklin.
It may or may not sound like him at all, but you don't know.
Yeah, you can just be emphatic about it.
It's like, no, this is what he sounds like.
Hear him, just a really weird high voice, and be like, that's what I heard.
Speaker 3He sounded like like Abraham Lincoln.
Apparently Abraham Lincoln had a very strange voice.
Speaker 1H really, I did not know that.
Yeah, okay, well I'll have to take your word for it because I have no way to prove that.
So Michelle is impressed with this impression.
Wow, you sound just like him, And on that note, she closes the show and sings the theme song while exiting DJ's room.
Once she gets to the doorway, she turns around and throws her hand up in the air, exclaiming, Michelle, all, I think, though, when when.
Speaker 2There's a moment of flinging and doing a whole thing, all I can picture is Adria right off camera doing that.
Speaker 1Oh yeah, yeah, you know what I mean.
Speaker 2That's all I picture is Adrian going okay, very and Michelle.
Speaker 1Yeah, it's true.
Sometimes sometimes she'll the Mary Kate or Ashley will say something and I'm like, oh, that sounds just yeah, for sure.
I have many of those moments.
I can literally hear Adria say the lines hysterical.
And I'm fascinated by the evolution of Candace's bangs at this point in the series, where she's growing them out and they're going are they are they long side sweat banks?
Were long side sweat banks.
And I remember it was so jealous of how long he were, and I was like, I was always jealous of her hair.
Oh yeah, best hair, tons of it.
Well, you're still in the You're still in the spiderweb bang era with your little spider banks.
Speaker 2It's it's like a puff of cotton candy on my head.
Speaker 1It's adorable, but it fits.
It frames your face nicely.
I think it's adorable.
It's very cute.
You're just trying to make me feel better because I'm in a bad mood.
Speaker 3But they I appreciate it.
Speaker 1No, I would say that.
No, it was easy.
Speaker 2We're moving from like the very eighties sort of the rounded teased moment.
Speaker 1Yeah, yes, we're moving away from the AquaNet, the big round brush era and into the side swept bangs era.
So it's yeah, it's fascinating to watch them get longer and longer as the series goes on.
Next, in Jesse's studio, Jesse is working on his music when Teddy and Michelle come running down the stairs.
Teddy shouts, here's uncle Jesse, and Michelle chimes in, we've been looking for you everywhere.
Jesse asks why, and Michelle matter of factly states, because that's how you find somebody silly like Jesse is so put out by this whole Like he's right, so annoyed at being disrupted by these Well, yeah, what do you want?
But why why are you looking for me?
What point I get to get to it?
Jesse emphasizes that he has a lot of work to do, and he tells the Muncskins to hit the yellow brick road.
He continues to play a drum beat on his high tech machine, and Teddy looks at him with surprise.
Where did that drum come from?
Jesse points to the machine and explains he's got a whole band here.
This is such new technology.
Speaker 2Oh yeah, this was like drums without a drum what yeah, Like it seems.
Speaker 1So old now, but at the time, it's like, oh yeah, this was just top notch technology right here.
So first he hits the drums, then he adds the bass and a little guitar.
Teddy and Michelle are watching and their jaws are dropped.
Finally, Jesse adds some horns and an Elvis voice to the end of it.
Michelle proclaims, we have got to play with that, and she and Teddy start to reach for the drum machine, but Jesse quickly yells freeze hands up.
They oblige and show him their empty hands.
He sternly tells them this is very expensive equipment that I'm still making payments on, So under no circumstance are you to touch anything in this whole entire studio.
Speaker 3Can you imagine what the payments are for that all that equipment.
Speaker 1I'm impressed at their job.
Yes, yes, first of all, I'm there's a lot to unpack here.
I'm glad.
I First of all, this is a rare mention of finances on this show and how they pay for it.
So yeah, we actually do pay for things.
Yeah, yes, this is like the elephant in the room.
How do they pay for stuff?
And okay, Jesse's financed this, Yes, the Sizer thing got good credit.
Yeah, and I'm very proud that Danny didn't just finance the whole thing because you think, oh, well, he redid the basement for Joey and then he just redid the basement for the recording studio.
Speaker 2Well maybe maybe Danny's the bank.
Maybe he borrowed the money from Danny.
You know what I mean, he's paying him back.
Speaker 1Oh yeah, that would make that would make sense.
Yeah, a little no interest loan.
Yeah yeah, Well, Jesse, Danny's a.
Speaker 2Loan shark and he charges him a ridiculously high interest loan and if he doesn't pay him back, it's gonna go really poorly.
Speaker 1Oh gosh, like this is the this is I want?
How does Danny make all his money.
He's a lone shark.
He's just a shark.
I love it.
Uh So, Michelle smirks, my feet are touching the floor, and Teddy grins, she's got you there.
Jesse tries to show them along, but Michelle insists that he stopped working because it's Saturday.
Teddy nods, telling him to get some fresh air.
Jesse huffs, I'd love to put on my play clothes and hit the sandbox with you.
Bozo's with the good Uncle Jesse keep saying, be responsible, finish your work, and then go out and enjoy some well earned relaxation.
Speaker 3It's good to know there's a good Uncle Jesse in there.
Speaker 1I like that, Yes, I was.
I'm very pleased with everything that I'm here.
He's financing things, he's got good I'm an adult.
Yeah, yes, But Michelle admits that the good Uncle Jesse is a nerd.
Come on, Michelle, let's encourage the good behavior, right.
Jesse tries to tell them that he is still hip, but the bad Uncle Jesse keeps trying to take over, saying work is for chumps.
Go out and party.
You're having a good hair day, go share it with the world.
And Teddy thinks the bad uncle Jesse sounds cool.
But Jesse is trying to teach them a lesson.
You need to know right from wrong, so he's determined to sit there and finish his work.
Unsurprisingly, he does a one to eighty right after his speech and happily shouts starting tomorrow, who wants ice cream?
And he chases the kids out of the studio.
Okay, it's a good too set up.
Speaker 2Yeah, it's a set up for the weirdness that we finally acknowledged that there is a basement full of expensive equipment here.
Speaker 1Yes, and it's expensive, and they don't want all these kids.
Speaker 2It's expensive, and they already put all this crap in the attic and then they had to.
Speaker 1Move it down.
They had to get a crane.
He's going to do it.
Speaker 2You can't carry it on the stairs.
Speaker 1It's a narrow stairway.
There's alway, you know.
It's this, Yeah, this is no nobody should be allowed in the recording studio except Jesse and occasionally one hundred rippers.
So next in DJ's room, Kimmy, DJ and Steph walk into the room carrying shopping bags, and Kimmy and Steph are in the middle of a heated argument regarding Timmy Finelli and Jimmy Finelli, in which one of them is cuter.
DJ butts in what are you guys arguing about?
They're identical twins.
Kimmy defends her choice.
Jimmy is two minutes older, he's much more mature.
And we came in hot into the seat, like this argument was already very intense, like from the jump, I feel like that was a note that we got that's like, no, no, you got to raise, got to raise it.
Just come in like at a ten, coming at a five, come in at a ten.
Well, because we've already been arguing, we've been arguings.
Speaker 2Yeah, oh yeah, but Timmy and Jimmy is the is the the issue right now at hands?
And then you just wouldn't shut up about it, the whole shut up it.
Speaker 1And we are steadfast in our opinions.
Nobody's budgeting on this, nobody.
So Steph rolls her eyes.
That is the dumbest thing I've ever heard, and Kimmy scoffs.
Let me get this straight.
You're calling me dumb, and Steph retorts gibbler, You're so dumb, you don't know how dumb you are, Kimmy tries to one up her.
You're the one who's dumb capital d u M dumb.
Oh boy, here we go.
Yeah, DJ vince's and reminds her Kimmy, there's a bee, and Kimmy starts to swap the air and frantically asks where I hate those things?
This was actually very funny.
It was funny, h DJ size, I think we have a winner.
Steph turns to her older sister and questions, how can you be friends with that?
Wow?
It's harsh.
That looks kind of harsh, Like I am a human, I'm Adreid, a weird human at a little bit that didn't hurt a little, But that's okay.
Kimmy doesn't back down.
She picked me, but she got stuck with you.
DJ is fed up.
You guys have been arguing the whole way home, and sure enough the girls start to argue about where they started arguing, on Lake Street or Chestnut.
Speaker 2This is just like siblings, Like this sounds exactly like my kids.
Speaker 1Yeah, but you're like, does it matter?
No, I just want to fight, doesn't just doesn't just want to argue, yes, which I'm non confrontational, so I don't like, I don't want to argue when I have to argue, I definitely don't want to make up arguments goodness, so DJ can't believe them.
She insists that they shake hands and be friends, so Kimmy stretches out of hand, but when Steph reaches for it, Jimmy swipes it away.
Ah, got you a shrimp boat, and Stephanie scowls bird legs DJ's had it.
She shuts the door and says they aren't leaving until they start acting nice to one another.
I would have kicked them both out, yeah, Why why is she keep them into the Saint?
Right?
If anything, DJ should DJ should leave and lock those guys work it out.
Yeah, right.
Speaker 2And also I feel like any older sibling would have immediately kicked out the younger sibling and been like, oh my god, leave me with my friend.
Speaker 1You're so annoying.
Totally totally yes, this was.
I mean, like, I get it.
The jokes gotta work, that storylines gotta work, but not realistic.
Uh So Steph rolls her eyes and says fine, and then starts dialing a phone number on DJ's phone.
DJ asks what she's doing, and Steph responds I'm ordering pizza.
This could take months, give me argues years, and they go back and forth on how long this will take.
I feel like we were adding some of that at the end.
At the end was just and I kept thinking, I hope they cut soon because I'm running out.
Speaker 2I don't know, I don't know how many Kennedies I can go, right.
Speaker 1And I'm so distracted.
Speaking of bangs, I'm very distracted by my bangs here, which resemble an owl pellet.
It's just like this stuffed an owl pellet.
Yeah, it's like this net.
It's like a part nest, part bones, part I don't know.
Yeah, it's gross, Like it doesn't even look like hair.
It's just a mess of b like a owl on my face.
Speaker 2I'm trying to even remember what your hair looked like in that scene, and I don't.
I don't particularly remember a problem with it, and usually I'm.
Speaker 1Pretty usually right.
No, this is when I was I remember distinctly when I was in this side that it's like the tuft.
It was just like the like the pepper hair and yeah, yeah, yeah, And so I don't know, as much as I want to blame the hair department for this, this might have been me.
Speaker 2This might have been me been like, I don't think I don't think this was you.
You were never like that.
Speaker 1I was never You're right, I never spoke up.
You never were like I want this.
Speaker 2You were like okay, which I understand because I was the same way.
Speaker 1And then I'd go in my dressing room be like I hate it right right, Okay, So I will blame the hair department for this owl pellet bangs?
Okay?
An owl pellet?
Speaker 2Yes, it's like they call it an owl pellet to like owl poop or something.
Speaker 1No, it's the little thing that they vomit.
Did you never dissect one in school?
An owl?
No?
An owl pellet.
It's the thing they vomit like they eat and then they vomit something up and it's got like twigs and material like whatever they've ingested.
It's got fur, it's gotten Never heard of this, and I know a lot of random things.
I I know.
How have you never dissected an owl pellet?
I mean I had dissected a fetal pig.
Speaker 2Anyway, this is anatomy and physiology we had to do.
Speaker 1Have you done a frog?
Yeah?
Okay?
Frogs?
Yes?
Dicted owl pellets like salamanders, maybe lots, reptiles, amphibians, maybe I don't.
Speaker 2Know, poor poor little things anyway, Okay, anyways, let's not get distracted about what we've dissected.
Speaker 3Sorry, everyone, He's really sorry for that.
Speaker 1Next in the kitchen, Joey hops down the stairs wearing a colorful tracksuit while singing, Oh what a beautiful mourning from the musical Oklahoma.
Speaker 2He looks like that woman in in those dance videos, the how to dance videos.
That's like the whitest white woman you've ever seen trying to explain hip hop dancing, and she's in She's in a full like blue tracksuit, just like that.
Speaker 1That's what Joey writes.
Speaker 2I was expecting him to start like doing the you know, like and jazz.
Speaker 1You're like, oh my god, don't ever do that, lady.
Yeah, like, this is the worst possible candidate to explain hip hop, right, Yeah, that's hysterical.
Yeah, Dave is a vision.
Yeah, it's the.
Speaker 2Second noisiest material next to car Quarterbay.
Speaker 1Yes, the sound guys like you're wearing a paper bag.
Move as gently as possible.
The sound guys are gonna get mad, and so Dave's he ends the song with a flourish.
This thing he would always do regardless if we were real loud singer guy.
Yeah, where he dramatically like pulls the imaginary microphone away from his mouth and he goes silent, and then he hits the final note and brings it right back in.
Dave, he loved that bit on Cue the doorbell rings and he excitedly tells Danny and Becky that he's going on a bike ride with Wendy.
Wendy's back.
This is a two episode arc.
I'm impressed, very impressed.
I like this relationship.
I wish this wasn't the end of it.
I was like, well, don't get your hopes one.
Danny notes, ever since my sister moved back to San Francisco, you've been walking around the house singing show tunes, and Joey insists that's not true, before he heads towards the door singing seventy six troum Bones from Music Man in the living Room.
Danny follows behind Joey, and he does not sugarcoat things.
I hope you know what you're getting yourself into.
My sister is a pretty serious athlete, and you're not exactly in tiptop shape.
It's still always so funny to me that Dave, the most athletic of who plays hockey every weekend, was the one that was always like, you're not athletic, right, I know?
Yeah?
They they yes, Dave's only three of them, and they kept yeah, making him out to be.
It's this doufish.
Joey explains that he knows that Wendy likes him for who he is and doesn't need to do anything special to impress her.
However, as soon as Danny opens the door, Joey jumps to the ground and does push ups while counting one hundred and eighty one, one hundred and eighty two, and he stands up to greet Wendy.
He tells her he's doing an early morning pump up.
He says he's working on his abs, pecks and lobes.
Wendy laughs, you're working out your ears, and Joey nods, yep, feel the definition in these babies, and he flexes as hard as he can.
Wendy admits she loves a man with ears of steel, and Danny sarcastically chimes in, and his brain is one big ball of aluminum foil.
Joey claps his hands together.
Eager to leave.
He tells Wendy they can put their bikes on her rack and head out.
But Wendy doesn't have a bike rack.
She doesn't even have a car.
Joey lets out a nervous laugh.
The trails twenty miles away.
How are we going to get there?
And Wendy casually says, ride our bikes through the hills of San Francisco, right, Yeah, this is ambitious.
Speaker 2It's not a Yeah, that's not a regular twenty miles, that's a San Francisco up and down twenty miles.
Speaker 1No, that's an endurance sport, because that's an ultra marathon right there.
Uh so, Joey is now visibly worried.
Sure, the twenty mile ride there will be a nice warm up and the twenty mile ride back will be a nice little cool down.
Danny butts in with amusement.
Especially for a guy who can do one hundred and eighty push ups without breaking a sweat, Danny's just roasted him this whole time.
Joey boasts that he's in tiptop writing condition.
But when he goes to grab his bike, we see that it's very old fashioned and has a banana seat straight out as stranger things.
Yeah, this was the eighties bike.
Speaker 3Oh god, I remember those things.
Speaker 2Yes, they have a little metal thing on the back that you'd like stand on the pegs and hold on to.
Speaker 1Oh yeah yeah, and they like they would rust overnight.
And yeah, it's instant rusting.
He loved it.
Speaker 2Yeah, you definitely needed a Tetnis shot anytime you've actually rode one.
Speaker 1Of those, Oh for sure, yes, yes.
So Wendy is shocked to see that this is the bike that he'll be using, but Joey assures her, Oh, all the top riders are going back to the banana seat.
Speaker 3That's more surface area.
I think it's more comfortable.
Speaker 1I would think so too, Like, don't dog a banana seat, you know that's probably got some good patting in there.
I don't know, I'm not My brain is going so many directions right now, but I'm continuing on banana seat and padding.
Speaker 3I'm just I'm like, oh, hold on overload.
Speaker 1Next, in Jesse's studio, we see Michelle tiptoeing down the stairs and she asks if anyone is there.
No one answers, so the coast is clear.
She walks up to Jesse's sound machine, and she's tempted to play with it, but as soon as she's about to touch it, another Michelle, in a puffy pink dress with long curly hair and a flower crown appears.
Speaker 2I mean.
Speaker 1As this wasn't just one does?
Yeah, So she scolds her Michelle Elizabeth Tanner, I am shocked.
Michelle is astonished and asks the look alike, who are your means?
Sport?
Speaker 3Child's having some sort of a mental break.
Speaker 1She's well, and as a therapist, you think she would understand, like why she's having this swell.
Yeah, but you know what break from reality?
Speaker 3You don't know when you're in it.
Speaker 2That's true when she's too close to it, like dumb people don't know they' dumb.
Speaker 1They don't know.
You're right, they don't know.
That's what what bliss man ignorance really is.
It really is, Scott.
I wish That's why I'm so unhappy.
You need to be more ignorant.
I could get a lobotomy.
I think I think i'd feel bad.
So the girl explains, I'm the good Michelle.
I tell you the right thing to do.
Just then another Michelle appears to Michelle, not another Michelle.
This one's wearing a bandana, a leather jacket, and long ear rings.
She warns Michelle, don't listen to that wimp.
Michelle realized says that that is the bad Michelle, and the good one begs her not to fall for her trap.
The bad one wants her to break the rules, but the real Michelle doesn't want to get in trouble.
It's not coincidence that bad Michelle looks exactly like Uncle Jesse, like with the leather right, Well, she just I mean right, that's I mean basically yeah, it's like, you know, it's.
Speaker 2Shopping and she came back in with the glasses in the little leather jacket.
Speaker 1She just get jacket.
It's super Yeah, she repurposed it for her for her face or break right, it's so funny.
So she calls her a chicken and flaps her arms, and Michelle is obviously conflicted.
So the good Michelle shakes her finger and repeats, be good oh.
In response, the bad Michelle chance party, Party, Party.
Michelle tells both of the other Michelles to stop.
She makes her decision and announces it's party time.
She goes haywire, pressing every button on every piece of equipment.
The bad.
Michelle dances along and shouts you're bad to the bone.
On cue.
Jesse walks downstairs and both of the pretend Michell's quickly disappear.
Jesse asks his niece what she's doing is having a mental episode?
Yeah, he should be alarmed, He should totally for several reasons he should be alarmed.
Michelle begs Jesse not to tell her dad because she'll get in trouble, and then Danny runs downstairs and asks if everything's okay?
Well, but come on, it's like, when is anything okay in this house?
Speaker 2You're either totally alone and nobody can hear you, or you do the slightest thing and someone comes running in right.
Speaker 1Like everyone right, and you're like, how did you not hear the other.
Speaker 3Stuff that was going on last episode?
Speaker 2Right?
Speaker 1Right?
No, it's it's like, just I'd love to sitcoms in this house.
It must be incredible.
So Michelle calmly responds everything is super, but Jesse tells the truth, No, everything is not super.
She was down here playing with my stuff after I specifically told her not to.
Danny turns to Michelle and asks if that's the truth, and she plays it off.
Hey, I was just having fun, Danny reprimands her, Well, your fun is over for the rest of the day.
You're going to be in your room and no TV.
Sheelle asks if she can rent a videotape.
You see back in the day, guys, you had to go to a different location and borrow a VHS tape.
You could have for about three days, and then you had to rewind it and turn it back in.
Yes, that was the best.
That was the best Friday nights at Blockbuster down in front of the wall, right elbow or whatever the hell was the big Blockbusters, like, I got it, I got it?
Yeah, I know that was I missed those days.
Uh so, Danny sternly responds, no tapes, no cable, and no pay per view.
Michelle can't believe what she's hearing, but Danny reminds her that if she breaks the rules, she's gonna be punished.
Michelle looks at Jesse and pouts, thanks a lot, Uncle tattletale.
Jesse tells her he is not a tattletale, and then he proceeds to tell Danny what she just said.
He realizes the hypocrisy, but stands firm that it isn't his fault because she was messing with his stuff.
Michelle continues with the guilt trip.
I thought I was your little munchkin, but I was wrong.
Danny doesn't fall for it and prompts Michelle to go up to her room.
She looks at Jesse and sadly says, I hope you're happy.
Wof the sad music plays in Jesse's sighs as she walks away.
Darnott, Michelle like, and now I'm mad at Michelle for making me feel bad for Uncle Jesse.
You know, like she's guilt tripping him.
You know, it's not tattletailing if he's telling right, Like he said, don't play with my stuff.
She played with his stuff, so I told Dan, But.
Speaker 2That's kids, Like any report is always a tattletale.
Speaker 1You're like, no, but that's not Yeah, He's like, yeah, Yeah, she's just I get it.
She's you know, she's in the moment.
She's mad at him.
She's she's like, look, I was having a great time down here with my two imaginary friends who are also me because I don't really get out of the house.
Yeah, she has to imagine she was just excited that there was something to play with, you know, right, No, yeah, that's that.
That just hit me that when you said that, is that?
Yeah?
She even her imaginary friends.
Yeah yeah, un back there.
Yeah yeah, not even like an imaginary friend, that's like something else.
Yeah no, it's just different for you.
Yeah.
Wow, that's the Narcissism just runs very deep in this family.
So up in Michelle's room, Michelle is sitting on the bed petting Comet, and she sighs, at least I've still got you, Commet, put it on cue.
Danny yells out for comment, saying it's time for his walk, and so Commet jumps out of the bed and doesn't look back.
So true.
They don't care.
They're like, I love you.
Wait a treat.
Okay.
Now Michelle is all alone and totally bummed.
The good Michelle reappears to her right and scolds her, I hope you learned your lesson, and then bad Michelle appears to her left and tries to show off the good one.
Hey, princess, go kiss the frog.
Michelle angrily reminds her that she's the one responsible for this mess.
Speaker 3God, she's having just a full identity crisis.
Speaker 1She really is, like she's blaming.
This is a lot.
There's a lot going on right now.
Uh, it's a bad Michelle decides to push all the blame onto Uncle Tattletale, but then she proposes an idea.
You want to make him very sorry.
The Good Michelle knows something's up and tells Bad Michelle to mind her own business.
Light the studio on fire.
No, sorry, not a good idea.
That wouldn't make him very sorry, though it would.
The bad one, Uh, the bad No, The real Michelle is interested to hear what this plan is, so the bad one suggests you run away from home.
Good Michelle gasps at the thought.
Bad Michelle insists Uncle Jesse will never squeal on you again.
So the real Michelle nods, sounds good to me.
I'm out of here.
She hops off the bed and grabs the world's smallest suitcase to begin packing.
Good Michelle tries to convince her otherwise while she loads up the suitcase with all of her clothes.
At the same time, Bad Michelle is shouting, don't listen to her pack that suitcase.
The two figments of her imagination start to argue back and forth, and Bad Michelle taunts the good one, yelling the good.
Michelle just stares at her in utter disgust going through this is.
This has become the Michelle Show in a matter of ten minutes.
Speaker 2Like it literally well they she came in and said it's the Michelle Show.
Speaker 1She wasn't lying time, right, we were.
We were amply warned.
Wow, this is a lot of Michelle's.
This is too many Michelle, this is This is a lot of Michelle's.
Speaker 2But I'm just glad that they're not freakishly large like they were in that one dream sequence from like t take at least normal sized to Michelle's.
Speaker 1Okay, yeah, it's at least they're not creepy.
I mean, they're this hole set up is weird, but at least they're not creepy large.
They're not creepy, right, yeah, yeah, okay is it?
And I don't mean this in a like I don't mean this in a mean.
Speaker 2Way, but when when I see Michelle and it's Mary Kate but in the the the princess thing with the hair and the crown and the whatever.
I'm trying to think what it reminds me of.
But there's some oh, Glinda, is what it reminded me?
No, you know when e t is dressed up in the wig.
Speaker 1And you can't know what I mean yet, you can't.
Speaker 2Say they look like I'm just saying it was like it's like the wig is so big and it looks so.
Speaker 1Ridiculous, you know what I mean.
And the dress is oversize, it's like when she's got extensions like she's obviously wearing.
It's.
Yeah, it looks like ET.
Yeah.
Speaker 2Yeah.
Speaker 1Or I was gonna say miss Piggy, but I thought Eat was better.
That's definitely the lesser offensive of the two.
Speaker 2Yes, I yah one really yeah, And no, this has nothing to do with with anyone looking like et.
Mark just dress up right, the whole ensemble, and I'm like, where have I seen this look before?
That's right Et, when he's dressed up for Halloween or whatever.
Speaker 1Oh my chest hurts, my chest shirts, Oh gosh, Yeah that's you know, I think he nailed it.
You definitely nailed it.
So next we are at Teddy's house.
Teddy has a house and a family.
Teddy gets a set.
This is a monumentous is huge episode.
Speaker 2You're really this set was for Sparky and like, well we got to have some owners and we got some people there.
Speaker 1Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, this is Sparky's like third or fourth appearance.
He deserves his own set by now he's put in his time.
So Teddy and his family are playing monopoly when the doorbell rings.
Teddy asks who is it?
And Michelle shouts through the door, it's Michelle Tanner.
Do you remember Do you remember this bit?
It made the gag reel how Taj couldn't get the timing right with saying who is it?
And then opening the door.
He would open the door and then say who is it?
Right to Michelle's face, And so I don't remember that.
Oh my god, I make the gagriel.
I remember it because I mean he was what eight years old or something, so he didn't get it.
It was like it's a timing thing.
So yeah, it was.
Speaker 2A yeah, you got a question before you can actually see who it is?
Yes, exactly, ask the question before you can answer it yourself.
Speaker 1Yes.
So Teddy opens the door and Michelle politely asks, Hi, Teddy, can I live with you?
He shrugs, sure, come on in.
He happily announces to his family, guess what Michelle is going to live with us?
Teddy's dad smartly asks if Danny knows that she's here, and Michelle admits, no, when you run away, you don't tell.
So the parents ask why she ran away and she explains to teach Uncle taddletale a lesson.
Teddy's sister, which is Taj's real life sister, thinks that Michelle is super cute and asks her parents if they can keep her, like it's a puppy or something like, it's c.
Speaker 3T break out the recent pieces.
Speaker 2Oh accuracy, Yeah, Michelle phone home.
Speaker 1Michelle grins, I am a fun girl, and Teddy's dad responds, well, until we get this straightened out, you are welcome to stay here, and she exclaims, thanks new dad, Thank god for these parents, Like, I'm very imped The parents handle this the only way you can, which is to be like, oh, don't panic, right, but doesn't know where you are a phone call.
They didn't like, you know, harbor her as a fugitive, like no, they were just like, there is no no eating in a bedding at all.
Oh, very impressed with ted Like Teddy's parents, Thank god for there's some normal person in the in this full house universe, like the only normal people.
So next, in the Tanner kitchen, Jesse is holding a camcorder and Becky and Nicky are about to Becky is holding Nicki and the twins are about to hit a monumental step.
It's the baby's first time trying solid foods.
However, instead of keeping focus on his son, Jesse keeps pointing the camera to himself to show off his reactions and his good hair day that tracks.
Becky starts with the strained bananas and the baby's not a fan of it, so she tries another spoonful and he keeps all of it in his mouth.
She announces it's a keeper.
I remember when they when I started feeding the kids, they were like, start with peas, start with something vegetable, because you start on the sweet stuff.
They're like, they're never going to like it.
Yeah, we started with avocados because avocados are plentiful here in this part of the world.
And uh, yeah, it's something.
The kids loved it.
It's oh, I love having avocado.
It's a great little.
Speaker 2But when you give him that first bite of like a vegetable and they're.
Speaker 1Like, like, oh, what is this?
The face is the master so great?
Her face whatsoever?
Was like this is terrible.
So then Danny comes running down the stairs and he asks, have you guys seen Michelle.
Jesse figures these adults in the house, you know, hey, she was grounded and now he can't find her.
That's true, so Jesse figures she's in her room because she's grounded, but Danny says no, he can't find her anywhere, so he and Jesse both start shouting her name as they search the house.
Then the phone rings and Danny's face washes over with relief.
He says, oh, thank god, We'll be right over and he thanks Henry for the call.
He hangs up with the phone and he tells Jesse and Becky that Michelle went down the street to Teddy's house.
She ran away from home.
Becky can't believe that she would do such a thing, but Jesse knows that she was mad at him and called him Uncle taddle tail earlier.
Jesse asks what Danny's gonna do, and he responds, I'm gonna hug her, kiss her, and then ground her for life.
And that sentence basically sums up all of full house.
Speaker 2Like literally but well parenting really in a nut, like I love you, Yes, I'm gonna hug you, kiss, and now I'm gonna kill you.
Speaker 1Yes.
He starts to walk out the door, but Jesse stops him.
He says, I've got a better idea.
Just do what my dad did to me when I ran away.
I guarantee she'll never do it again, which sounded very ominous.
Like right, Nick, I was right?
Where's he going with us?
Right?
Speaker 3Did he shove you in a suitcase?
Speaker 1Like you?
What did you do?
This is a like this is taking a dark but no.
Next, in DJ's room, DJ has forced Stephanie and Kimmy to sit in chairs facing each other.
The girls ask why they're doing this, because it'll never work, but DJ argues, sure, sure it will.
I saw it on TV Little Sisters and best Friends who hate each other on the next Giraldo.
Stephanie is skeptical, SoJ goes on to explain.
The idea is you guys can learn to be friends if you find that you have things in common.
Each time you agree, you move your chairs closer together.
When you disagree, you move your chairs apart.
Understand Steph rolls her eyes, we're not idiots, and Kimmy frowns.
Speak for yourself, and Steph just raises an eyebrow in disbelief.
DJ starts off by asking Stephanie what her favorite book is, and she answers Charlotte's Webb.
Kimmy answers how to pick up Boys.
Oh.
Dj emphasizes that they both read a book, but Kimmy says that hers was a book on tape, so they move their chairs away from each other.
But books on tape or is that still reading?
Like?
I am of the mindset that if you listen to a book on tape, that's still reading a book.
Speaker 2I mean, I preferently read reading.
Technically it's listening consuming a book.
Are you eating it?
Speaker 1No, but you're digesting it mentally.
You're mentally disting a book, so you've you're listening to it, right, But that's not reading, It's it's just semantics.
No, listening involves your ears.
Reading involves your eyes.
Speaker 3You can't listen with your eyeballs and read with your ears.
Speaker 1Okay, So, if you're keeping track of the books you read on good Reads, can you bark off the ones the book the audiobooks that you've listened to.
Speaker 3I don't listen to audiobooks, so I don't know, so I would say, no.
Speaker 1You can't count the audiobook.
You can count the audiobooks as books read or consu Well.
Speaker 2You yes, that you have uh listened to all of the words too.
Speaker 1Okay, yeah, I don't think there's a It's it's good reads, not good listens.
But okay, that's that's fine.
What good reads?
But you can't what's good reads?
You can't can't choose.
Is it like where you get audiobooks.
No, it's it's just like a website where you can keep track of It's like a social website, so you can see what your friends are reading.
You can read their reviews.
It's just a way of keep track of, like your to to read list, what you're currently reading, and what you have already read forget.
Yeah, me too.
One time I was halfway through a Jodi Picole book and I was like, oh, I've already bed.
It was like two hundred pages in.
I do that with books with TV shows.
This is why we need good reads, whether you are an audiobook listener or not.
But anyways, okay, before we before we get two hunder needs on this.
Before DJ asks what their favorite food is.
Steph says pizza, and DJ gets excited, considering Kimmy loves pizza.
But Kimmy doesn't love it more than trout, so they move their chairs farther apart.
Stephanie shakes her head, this is so stupid, and Kimmy agrees it sure is.
DJ points out that they both agree that it's stupid, so they move their chairs closer together.
This time.
DJ tells them to keep going.
Steph complains that she doesn't want to keep going and admits, you're always telling me what to do, and Kimmy nods in agreement.
Yeah, she's so bossy.
I'm sick of it.
They agree once more, so they inch their chairs even closer.
They continue to bond over their complaints about DJ.
Kimmy says DJ is always late and has to look perfect, and Steph calls her the hair spray Queen.
Speaker 3Which is saying a lot with my bangs right, yes, it's.
Speaker 1Like okay, I get kettle ya.
Kimmy admits, do you know she's never complimented my hair, and Stephanie isn't say right here either the owl pellet motif.
DJ interrupts, well, now that we're all friends, we can change the subject, but Steph doesn't let up.
Oh no, she has to vent about her frustration with sharing a bathroom with DJ.
She tells Kimmy, might as well go to a Texico station.
Are you saying she's a slob or that she's a steaks forever?
It just take?
Oh, it takes for take.
Speaker 2Yeah, it got Oh she's in there forever.
Might as well just walk down the street to the gas station.
Speaker 1So the Texico, Yeah you go, Okay, there you go.
Are there Texaco stations anymore?
I don't think that's a thing.
Well, it's like just a gas station bathroom, right, is that?
Yeah?
But Texico?
I think God, I don't think tech.
You know, I think Texico.
I think they went under a long time ago.
I don't know.
I haven't I haven't even thought about Texico since nineteen ninety two.
Uh So Gimme admits that they can go on for hours like this, So she asks Steph do you like frozen yogurt?
And Steph nods love it.
They bond over their shared love of the strawberry flavor in particular, and they leave the room.
Jay scrambles after them, grabbing her coat as she yells, guys, wait, I like yogurt too.
This is the beginning of our of our our our friendship Stephanie enemy ship.
Yes, oh, yes, we've been building as frenemies for a long time and now we are.
We're bonding as as she wolves.
You know, yes, it warms my cold black heart.
It really does.
Uh So.
Next at Teddy's house, Teddy and Michelle are playing Old Maid on the couch.
Well, Sparky lounges in Michelle's lap.
Michelle points to the card that she wants Teddy to grab, and he does it without question, to no one's surprise.
It's the Old Maid card and this isn't his first loss of the night, so Michelle lends him some advice, don't play for money.
Then she asks Teddy where she'll be sleeping tonight, and he admits, we're out of beds.
You can sleep in the kitchen with Sparky.
Michelle size, oh, I used to have a dog.
Those were the days.
Then the doorbell rings and Teddy's family walks in the living room carrying Michelle's suitcase.
Teddy's mom says that that is her family.
Michelle is confident that they've come to say they're sorry.
Teddy's mom lets Danny and Jesse inside, but before Danny speaks to Michelle, Jesse reminds him to stay strong and remember the plan.
Michelle asks them, do you have something to say to me?
And Danny admits he feels bad that she left home, and Michelle is eager to hear more so, Jesse continues, we miss you very much, munchkin, and Michelle questions, and you'll never be uncle taddletail again.
Jesse answers, well, I don't know how I can.
You don't live with us.
This throws Michelle off and she shouts I don't.
Jesse continues, No, remember you didn't like our rules.
You want to live here, that's cool.
He points to the giant suitcase they brought and says, here's some extra clothes, your toothbrush, and everything you need.
Michelle gasps, what is this a joke?
Danny shakes his head.
Oh no, this is not a joke, Michelle.
There's nothing funny about running away from home.
They both kiss her forehead and say goodbye, and Jesse casually says, if you need us, you know the number.
Give us a buzz.
They start to walk out the door and Michelle quickly shouts wait, you forgot something, and they ask what, and she points to herself me.
Danny asks if she really wants to come back and live with them, Jesse pipes up, even with Uncle taddletale, Michelle is sure of it.
She really wants to go home.
The guys are happy to hear this, and she gives them both a big hug.
They finally admit that they want her to come home too, and they miss her a lot.
Danny finally gets stern, don't you ever do this again?
You had us worried sick, and Jesse adds it wasn't very smart.
Michelle nods in agreement.
You're telling me I was going to sleep with the dog.
Speaker 3She'd always check if there's room before you run away somewhere.
Speaker 1Yeah, you really should, Yeah, absolutely.
Next to Michelle's room, Michelle runs in and shouts, my room, my bed, my pig, I love this place.
Jesse follows behind and tells her it's time for one of their little talks.
They take a seat at the table and he says what you did today was very wrong.
Michelle knows she shouldn't have touched his stuff, but Jesse's mainly talking about her running away.
He reminds her that was very dangerous.
You're never to leave this house without our permission.
If you have a problem, talk to me or someone else in this house, capiche, and she nods capeche.
Jesse asks why she actually ran away.
Michelle admits it's because he got her in trouble, and Jesse insists, I felt terrible about getting you in trouble, but I couldn't let you break the rules because if you did it today, you would do it next time.
She wonders, am I still your little munchkin?
And he says yes, as long as she doesn't call him Uncle Tattletale.
She smiles, okay, Uncle Jesse.
He asks that she never ever run away again, and she promises, never ever, ever ever.
He asks her to shake on it, but instead of shaking hands, they both do a little shimmy.
They say I love you and give each other a big hug and a kiss.
Jesse gets up to exit the room, but Michelle has one more question.
Were you really gonna leave me at Teddy's?
Jesse grabs the suitcase and opens it.
What do you think?
And we see that it's totally empty.
Speaker 2It's the world's oldest suitcase, right, he's very it's a suitcase seventy three.
Speaker 1Yeah.
Michelle laughs and admits that was very sneaky Jesse exits the room, and then Bad Michelle appears.
She has a devious look on her face and she says, I got another good idea.
The real Michelle does not want to hear it, but Bad Michelle continues, let's sneak out and watch oh MTV wraps.
That was the thing.
Oh yeah, that was that was that was it back in the day.
The real Michelle wants her out of there, so she disappears, but Michelle has to admit I like the way she dresses.
Just then, the good Michelle appears beside her and says, I'm so proud of you.
Remember to always do the right thing.
Michelle confidently responds I will, and with that, the good Michelle disappears as well.
Once once she's gone, Michelle rolls her eyes.
She can get on my nerves and that's our show.
That well, that was that I did Michelle Michelle show.
Indeed it was.
I didn't like it.
I did not.
I just I don't care for this episode.
Like the storyline.
Don't love the best storyline.
It's just the stakes never felt high.
I mean, yeah, I know she ran away for home, but she ran to Teddy's house per perhaps the most normal family on the block.
Right, that didn't even feel like high stakes.
It was just like, okay, they under a lesson sort of well, I mean.
Speaker 2I guess you don't want to really like, you know, have Michelle standing out there on the street corner of San Francisco with a suitcase.
Speaker 1True, it could get dark, very.
Speaker 2That's that's less funny and more alarming.
Speaker 1So it's definitely more alarming.
Yeah, no, I get it just wasn't.
It didn't feel I don't know, it just didn't.
It didn't.
It didn't didn't do it for me.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Speaker 2And I don't even have a necessarily like a particular reason that I was like, it just felt.
Speaker 3It was one of those episodes that you were like, oh, we just kind of threw this in there, and it's a little filler, you know.
Speaker 2I got to show that Michelle's you know, I don't know, they was just seeing herself having a mental crisis.
Speaker 1I don't know what we had to but like it just felt I don't know, I'm left feeling satisfied.
And the three Michell's gimmick didn't work for me.
Speaker 2If if it was five, I would have been much better then.
I think we just needed double the machine, more Michells.
Speaker 1Ye, we double the more Michelles, all of them.
No.
I'm trying to figure out because I can usually suspend disbelief to write, because I'm like, I love sitcoms, all the silliness that comes along with sitcoms.
But for some reason, this this felt less believable than the shape shifting backyard or you know, twenty five people living in the same house.
I don't know something about it just didn't feel I don't know, I felt like they broke the laws of physics or something.
Well, we've been doing that for a long time.
We've been doing that for a long time.
Yeah, I don't know.
It just didn't click for me.
It wasn't.
Uh, it just wasn't.
It wasn't It wasn't funny.
It's not funny.
Speaker 3It's not a really it wasn't a pretty funny one.
Speaker 2No.
Speaker 1And I think the kids, the kids are still too young to carry an a storyline like this.
It just sort of emphasizes the stilted baby acting again, right, I don't know.
I think it was.
It was better in previous seasons when they would use Michelle sparingly and her cuteness was more organic.
So now I feel like they're just forcing it.
They're kind of so much Michelle, so much Michelle, and they're kind of forcing the cuteness too.
There.
It's like before she would just be cute organically, and now she's it's written to be cute, whether it's actually cute or not.
And so I feel manipulated a little bit.
I feel like the writers are forcing this on us, and I'm like, yeah, it's just too much.
It's too much.
You need to dial it back a little bit.
Speaker 2Yeah, it just it felt it felt like an unnecessary reason to have both girls in the show, is what it felt like.
Speaker 1True, Yeah, very true.
Yeah, it's the payoff wasn't worth it for me.
It didn't work for me.
It's a very forgettable episode.
And didn't love our I mean, I love our bits, but but it wasn't it wasn't my stakes.
It was just like well, and it.
Speaker 2Also felt like DJ would have I felt like the argument would have been almost better if DJ had I don't know, somehow locked both of us out and then we had to team up against her or you know what I mean, like something like that rather than it didn't.
Speaker 1Yeah, I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't even know why.
Speaker 2Like I said, I don't even know why it wasn't great, but it just wasn't my favorite.
Speaker 1This is the low point of season five for me so far.
This is my least favorite episode in several seasons.
This is my yeah, yeah, yeah, this is yeah, this is It's a bad one.
It's giving Howie vibes, you know, it kind of is.
Yeah, it's just too much of a too much of a good thing, too much, Michelle.
You should use Michelle more sparingly.
You just you just should.
Sorry, Well, this.
Speaker 2Was a thing we did, and an episode we saw, there's just we saw Michelle dressed is et and Shell dressed is Uncle Jes, Uncle Jesse.
Speaker 1Yeah, it's a lot, it's yeah, do you have any everywhere he looks though, sort of, And so I've noticed in the girls room, Stephanie's bedspread is just this generic, blank, solid navy color.
And I'm glad you've graduated out of your Peter Pan retting.
You know, you're definitely maturing.
But I'm like, you can't have any sort of like bright colors or like purple or something trendy.
It's just navy and that's it with mister Bear placed on there, and I'm like, come on, set, it feels yeah, it feels not well.
Speaker 2Aren't we coming up on the redecorating of Stephan Michelle's room soon?
Speaker 1Oh?
I forgot that that happens.
Speaker 2Yes, maybe that's I think we're it's five or six.
Speaker 1Oh isn't that Vicky's mom something like that?
Yeah, yeah, it does.
The girl helps to redecorate or something like that.
Speaker 2So maybe it's more season six or a couple of but I do remember, I do feel like that's coming up soon.
Speaker 1So okay, So that would explain generic bedspread because it did not seem it doesn't seem like Steph at all.
It doesn't.
It doesn't seem like Steph.
Speaker 2Yeah, Steph is I mean, look at my shirt, for God's sakes, it's got three D things all over it.
Speaker 1Sequence adorable, Yeah, very cute, plain navy sort of one.
Did you have any everywhere he looks, I did not.
I did not.
This episode was just one big fact.
I just be honest, everywhere I.
Speaker 2Looked it was just Michelle, and I was like, wow, I don't there's more.
Speaker 1You know, I never need to see this episode again.
No, No, mere people I know.
Speaker 2Sorry, guys, all right, what if there's anyone out there who's like, this is my favorite episode.
Speaker 1I don't know, man, there's fan Ritos that love the Howie episode and the like it's the kids are so cute.
I'm like, yeah, the kids are cute, but this is stilted baby acting.
They can be cute.
I'm kidding.
They are cute, full stop cute, but they're not used in the right way in this episode.
Or no it was a weird one.
Yeah, well, thanks guys for listening to us.
Speaker 2Uh, you know, ramble on and uh and rant and rave, and it was your opinions.
Speaker 1Did you love I hate this episode?
You hate this episode?
Speaker 2Is it a forgettable one for you fan of Rito's, is it one that that you remember because it's so weird?
Or like, were you a kid that was Michelle's age and you were like, oh my god, this is so cool.
Speaker 1There's three of them, you know?
Yeah, yeah, I know.
I would love to I would love to know.
Yeah.
Speaker 2Yeah, let us know, guys, And you can let us know by following us on Instagram at how Rude Podcast, or you can send us an email and let us know at Howard Tana Ritos at gmail dot com.
Uh yeah, please leave comments, suggestions all the kind of stuff we love it and you can visit our merch store Howard Meerch dot com.
And am I forgetting something?
Speaker 1Nope?
Thanks?
Think you got it?
Yeah, I think I did.
Speaker 2I think I got it.
Hello, everybody, Remember the world is small.
The house is full of Michelle, just all different versions.
Speaker 1Too much.
Speaker 3There's the good one, the bad one, the nerdy one.
Speaker 1This was a lot for the Olsens to carry like, this was three different characters and that was at that's too much.
A lot of five year old Sorry, it just is.
Yeah, even two five year olds.
Speaker 2It's a lot.
Speaker 1Yeah, totally, I get it.
Speaker 2Okay, everybody, the house is full of Michelle, so uh be careful watch where you stay.
