Hi, it's Devon and welcome to this bonus episode.

Now this one's a little different.

You see, when I hear people talking about conscious sensuality and tantra, it's generally misunderstood.

People assume tantra is about strange sexual positions, but it's really not.

It's about a connection with your deeper sensuality.

It's about building confidence.

It's about being the person you are and being proud of it just as you are.

The essence of conscious sensuality covers many bases.

It's a deeply powerful technique.

So today I'd like to share a story with you, one that's quietly powerful, deeply human.

It's about a woman that I will call Christie to protect her privacy.

All the details in the story are true, So if you're in a place where you'd prefer not to listen to stories about intimate life and sexuality, you might want to skip this one.

For everyone else, just take a nice, deep breath and let it go with a sigh, listening with an open hearted mind.

Christy first came to me at forty six.

She'd been in a long term relationship for many years.

To the outside world, everything looked well ordinary.

They share their home routines, responsibilities, even children.

But inside she felt invisible.

She felt neglected.

She told me, she felt unwanted, undesired, like the person everyone relied on to keep the home together.

She did the dishes, but she wasn't seen as a sensual, vibrant person.

She wasn't seen as a complete human.

So over time she'd lost confidence.

Not overnight, but bit by bit.

The intimacy and the relationship had dwindled.

When sex did happen, it was cold and prescriptive, something they did on a Sunday morning, and she thought sensual pleasure was something given by someone else.

If her partner wasn't present or didn't meet her there, she thought she had no access to it.

We began with small steps, nothing dramatic.

Christie told me later that the idea of relearning how to feel sounded almost silly at first, as if sensation and desire were both basic instincts that should just be there.

But life had trained to to look outward for validation, and that inner connection had gone quiet.

So that's where we started.

Central presence.

That took no more than five or ten minutes.

It helped her realize that her sensuality was still there.

It had just become ignored and distant.

We also worked with her in a voice.

Christie had internalized messages, small unhelpful messages like you'll pass that, well, that's not for people like you.

We tracked those stories, named them, and gently rewrote them.

Instead of waiting for some one to say you're desirable, she practiced saying it to herself, quietly, one word at a time.

Another gentle shift was reframing pleasure as something that lives inside her, not granted by someone else, something not to be embarrassed by, but to embraces a beautiful part of her.

That idea landed for her like a door opening.

Pleasure as an available, lived experience, not a reward to be earned or reprised to be given away.

It was hers to give, to enjoy.

Within about three weeks, Christie began to notice a significant change.

It wasn't sudden fireworks at first, It was little, steady things, she said.

There were nights when she went to bed feeling a warm glow in her body just from paying attention to her breath.

She'd find herself smiling unexpectedly, noticing the ways sunlight looked on her arms, or how gentle self touch felt after a long, hard day.

These were the small reclamations on the journey of conscious sensuality.

And then something she hadn't expected.

She experienced her first sustained accessible orgism at forty six.

She told me she'd assumed that that moment had passed for her.

She believed those experiences were only for other people.

But through constant presence, breath work, and giving herself permission to fill without shame or performance, her body remembered, or perhaps learned anew how to enjoy her deeper pleasure.

She described it to me like this, She was discovering an inner flame, not a flash of eroticism that needed someone else to light it, but a steady warmth could return to a resource she could draw on when she wanted, and that resource changed how she related to her partner, her life, everything around her.

She didn't need him to create her pleasure.

She could bring more of herself to their connection, more presence, more invitation.

The difference open new possibilities for communication and for a tenderness between them.

Now, this is important, and I want to be clear on this.

Everybody's journey is their own, uniquely so Christie's timeline was hers.

People come to this with different histories, different bodies, different layers of nervous system response, so how you will experience a deeper pleasure will be uniquely yours.

But I do know that by learning how to be present your senses, by restoring your permission to fill and deepening your connection with your natural sensuality, and practicing simple, consistent exercises can create a meaningful shift, sometimes sooner than we expect.

So if Christie's story resonates with you, if you recognize that feeling of being unattractive, unsexual, unsensual, and you want to reclaim your sensuality is your own.

I have a small complimentary audio that can help you begin.

It's a gentle guided meditation called the Inner Flamegateway.

It's about fifteen minutes long, and it's designed to guide you into a RESTful state where we can safety open your senses to your deeper sensuality.

Now, you can find the damn link in this episode's notes, or you can come and see me at in a Flame dot com.

It's a free invitation to give yourself a moment to focus sensual pleasure.

So if you are ready to go deeper, then you can take your inner fire even further, as we will take you through step by step guided audios to reclaim your sensual presence, to indulge in a deeper level of pleasure, not just in the bedroom, but in daily life, in the world around you, and intensify the pleasure that you can experience every single time.

So if you'd like to learn more, you'll find a link in the show's notes.

Remember, Christie's story is a reminder that sensuality is not an external luxury.

It's not the thing you have to ern or be given.

Is a part of you waiting for permission to be felt.

If you're listening today, in something inside you have softened, that's the beginning.

Be kind to yourself, start small notice, breathe but for now, thank you for listening and sharing this time with me.

And if this episode has touched you somewhere deep inside, then the inner flame gateway is waiting for you.

Or maybe you'd like to share this episode with someone who might need a gentle reminder that they're in a flame is always there.

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