Hot Dogs, Pay Phones & JCPenny Crimes
Episode Transcript
Walmart vacations weren't doing it.
And I went in there and could not find the noise for the life of me.
It was like, we're going to have to put a hole in the wall.
What does it sound like?
Find this thing.
Just a real high-pitched, like, shriek noise.
I kind of wish that I was older and I probably wouldn't be able to hear it.
Like, it was that kind of noise.
Unless it was your own hearing aids.
Yeah, yeah.
It almost was like the sound that a vacuum cleaner might throw off on top of, like, the noise, you know, that whine, the high-pitched whine?
It was like that.
Like a bell hollering.
Yeah, yeah.
And I had to come back over here, and I was like, all right, we'll just, when I get back home tonight, I'll just try to hunt it down.
I had her like flipping breakers and stuff.
I was up there trying to listen to see if it cut off at any point.
Anyway, she gets home with the girls and Charlotte hears it.
And it was like, oh yeah, it's this.
And walks straight to like the toy bin and pulls out a little piano.
The batters were done.
It was just throwing off a key that doesn't exist on a piano.
So they immediately found it.
That was it.
Because it took you forever to find that.
I was so relieved.
Yeah.
Because I was like, this is ridiculous.
There's always something in this house.
I was like, there's something electronic in the wall.
It's going to be $10,000 to fix it.
One more thing like that, I'm burning the house down.
Insurance to get me to say that.
Yeah, you don't really need anything else like that going on.
No.
According to how that basement's been going.
I'm still not.
Yeah, yeah.
If I would help me move the couches back in to the...
It sucks.
Yeah.
Don't do it.
Don't volunteer to help.
I'm not, for real.
Joey Will, though, he loves moving people.
It's my favorite.
After Shane about killed me with his washer-dryer combo, tapped out a couple of people.
Was it all in one?
Stacked.
Yeah.
You can't separate?
No.
Oh, Lord.
The hand trucks, everything.
It's too big.
Moving it out, the hole just big enough for it to fit in that crevice.
I saved myself a little bit.
You can't get everything to the doorway with it, but some furniture dollies.
At first, I went to Home Depot to get one, sold out.
And I was like, all right, let me just take a shot and do Harbor Freight.
Mm-hmm.
Beautiful.
It's like one whole middle section of the store.
Yeah.
Just furniture dollies.
Harbor Freight got what you need.
Always.
For dirt cheap.
They're pretty clutch.
Yeah.
They are, man.
I should have got a bunch of them.
Can't have too many, they say.
No.
Well, the kids start trying to use it as a skateboard in the basement.
When you're not using it, yeah, that can be a problem.
Back in my day.
I thought I was going to have to go that route.
Supplies are at Home Depot.
Just do it yourself, too.
And probably pay less for it.
Yeah, maybe.
But you've got to actually do it, though.
That sucks.
Yeah, that's more work just to go do more work.
Does that make sense?
No, thanks.
Hey, welcome to Hootin' and Hollerin'.
Mac, Eric, Drake, Eugene.
Eugene.
You've thought, this whole time we said his name was Joey, but it wasn't.
Mom, I'm the one that has to go by the middle name.
Because it just seemed the easiest way.
Because we don't have them.
Also, you can't do it, and then you've just thrown it out there that it's not your first name.
You've blown your cover.
Yeah.
Yeah, you did.
I set it up for you and you could have just been like, yeah, it's time for me to come clean.
Yeah.
Now people know it's you.
You edit these so you can always just take that out.
I will bleep it up when you say my name.
Your mouth's going to be moving and he's going to go, Joey.
Drake, he's going to do like they used to do on Court TV way back in the day, a big blue dot.
Remember that?
Blow your mouth.
Joey said, all I'm missing now is my social security number on here.
You want my phone number hey today's episode about malls love them malls we're what's left of them r.i.p yeah the glory days of malls which you know not a thing anymore there there are still some malls out there we have some and we surprisingly have one in close to us in jasper still staying went to it today did you yep defies all logic that it's still open.
Much bigger malls have shuttered years before this.
It doesn't look very open.
No, well, it's been a long time since it has.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I went about 10 years without going in that mall, and then I saw the Jasper Mall documentary.
There's actually a documentary about our local mall.
And in the documentary, everything is almost shut down.
So I expected it to look like that.
And when I went in there for the first time, like in years, it was, I mean, it was pretty, you know, a lot more stores than I had expected.
The thing is, they last like a month.
Yeah.
Yeah.
A lot of them open and shut, open and close constantly.
And the two in-stores blocked off from the rest of the mall, so you can't go through them.
Which is so inconvenient.
Yeah.
And they're the two biggest, you know, stores there.
That is strange.
The anchor stores.
And that is an interesting strategy.
I don't want to jump ahead because we're going to talk about anchor stores in a little bit.
But that is dumb that you close off your anchor.
That's the whole point of the time the mall gets traffic.
And you close them off.
That's pretty wild.
I bet those stores that took over the anchor spots didn't want that liability of an extra opening that goes through the mall.
Like, that's just double security cameras, double your, all of it.
Who knows how much was stolen at JCPenney's back of the day.
Boy, tons.
What was on the other side?
Kmart?
Mm-hmm.
Yeah.
Kmart and JCPenney.
Man, what a time.
Hey, speaking of stealing stuff out of that JCPenney, I was with a buddy one time.
He tried to shop with a wallet out of there.
Oh, the JCPenney?
And got caught.
Yeah.
They about knocked his head off trying to go out the doors.
And I was with him in the car.
He was like 16 years old.
And I thought he was joking.
Like, I'm going to steal this.
Like, don't do that.
Yeah, I'm going to.
I didn't think he did until we're going out the door and he gets snatched up by that guy.
And they just leave me there.
I'm like, hey, I'm with him.
I wouldn't have done that.
I didn't drive.
He's my ride.
Well, yeah, I didn't do nothing.
They knew we was together anyway.
And they seen him do it, I guess.
And I was like, he's my ride.
I don't have any way to get home.
They was like, leave.
He's hard to do that.
I just have the store now.
Can you call my mom?
Yeah.
A payphone only at that time.
You didn't have money before you had to go back to him and be like, hey, can you give me some money out of your real wallet?
No, I had some cash and had to get changed for the payphone and all that.
What did they do to him?
Nothing.
No charges or anything?
No, his parents came and got him maybe or something like that.
Banned from the mall.
He was definitely banned from JCPenney.
I don't know about the mall.
So it's like a wallet you could just throw past the little beepers.
I don't know why he did that.
I was with a buddy who stole a watch from Walmart, but did get away with it, and I just felt guilty the whole time.
Yeah, you're an accomplice.
Yeah, and I was like, a Walmart watch is not worth all this trouble.
It definitely ain't worth jail.
Y'all need to pick some better friends.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, you're right.
If you want to steal, I mean, there's Dollar Generals everywhere.
Dollar General, that's you.
I mean, yeah, they told me.
Have a good day while you're working there.
When I work there, it was like people will try to steal.
And I was like, yeah, I bet.
Don't try to stop them.
I was like, didn't plan on it.
I had no intention of doing that.
No chance.
Yeah.
You think I get paid $5 an hour?
You think I'm going to risk my life to save literally anything in the store?
Even you?
Not happening.
No.
Save myself.
Exactly.
First sign of danger, I'm out.
Yeah.
I get a job of the other dog general.
Yeah.
That one was too rough by E-Cuisine.
Good Lord, yes.
Oh, that was the sketches.
It was.
It was.
I loved it, though.
Yeah.
I don't know if it's still, if they're still up, but Jasper Mall used to have these, like, rules, like, no do-rags.
Yeah.
I do remember that.
No wife beaters.
Yeah, no tank tops.
Stuff like that.
Sometimes I don't think they have it up anymore.
Yeah.
It's a lawless land.
What are you going to do?
My favorite sign still is in there is the tornado shelter sign to the hallway in the bathroom.
It is.
Man, what a terrible place to die.
Oh, that bathroom.
The Jasper Mall.
Boy, I forgot about that bathroom.
If the tornado doesn't kill you, if it rips up any of that roof, the asbestos and lead, pain, and who knows what else lurking in the ceiling of Jasper Mall will kill you.
Just breathing in one whiff of that, probably take you out.
Yeah.
Yep.
That Tiger King guy might get you.
That's why he's got that accent.
He's not from Australia.
Nah, he's not.
Just breathing in the Jasper Mall for 20 years.
Messed his brain up, I think.
Malls.
You know, back at the time that we're going to talk about here, the 90s, they were at their peak in popularity.
There was over 1,500 malls across the country.
And at that point, over 30% of retail in America happened in a mall.
I'm trying to find that number for where it's at now.
Right now, like 20% of retail is internet.
50% of retail, specifically like electronics and toys, is internet.
There's just still some stuff you don't get, you know, online.
Take a game with shoes.
Nobody's buying hardly anything from the mall, probably.
Yeah, I don't know what, you know, we can talk about that in a second.
Part of it was in this country, we overbuilt malls.
Apparently, we had 25 square feet of a mall per person, which was more than like any other country in the world and now I think after the so many have closed we're still only down to like 20 something square feet like it hadn't killed off that much but that's because a lot of these malls may not be entirely shut down you know like Jasper Mall still exists they're over building like shopping centers or whatever they call those strip malls I think a lot of them have died worse than malls yeah them boys from the sand lost making a killing the twin the brothers yes, that's what they did Tommy and Randy they built many malls On what?
The Sandlot.
Oh.
When he's telling the story, when everybody's fading away.
Oh, yeah.
Come on.
I forgot the little ending part.
Yeah.
Oh, hippie dude's gone.
Yeah.
You memorized the Where Are They Now on the Sandlot.
It's a timeless classic.
It is a good one.
Malls, though, especially in the south, though, looked a lot different from elsewhere.
I mean, I guess their malls up north look different from ours, too.
But we've got a lot of stores that they didn't have or just originated down in the south, such as Old Bilk.
North Carolina export.
Still there.
The Belks, as they call it.
Belks.
We had Parisian, which was based in Birmingham.
Really?
Parisian.
Was it based in Birmingham?
I didn't know that.
Yeah, born in Birmingham.
No kidding.
And absorbed into Belk.
Yeah.
Wow.
We had that big Parisian.
It was a big staple anchor of the Galleria.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I think it's where Von Marmauer is now, but it was like the first anchor.
It depends on which angle.
There was one in Eastwood Mall.
Was there?
Yep.
Eastwood or what's the other?
Western Hills, maybe?
One of those.
I remember, I feel like every grandma had a Parisian's paper bag that they would just get reused for everything.
Yep.
Like there's always a.
That's where my mom used to take me to get suits.
Parisians?
Parisians.
Yeah.
Specifically the one in Eastwood.
What is that by Century Plaza?
That'd be Eastwood, right?
Yeah, that's East.
Eastwood Mall.
What was the one in Fairfield, was it?
That's Western Hills.
Western Hills Mall, yeah.
I used to work over there and that was a zombie land.
No doubt.
That was getting that way in the 90s, wasn't it?
Yeah, that was.
Well, I worked there until 2006, I think.
Where'd you work out of there?
Where?
Mm-hmm.
It was a place called Teletech.
It was a call center.
Oh, it wasn't a mall.
It was a Teletech.
No, it was near the mall.
It was near Western Hills Mall, yeah.
Mm-hmm.
You got hung up on it all the time.
Yeah, but I would go over there because they still had, like, the little food court.
I'd go eat lunch sometimes.
And I think at one time, there was two little restaurants in a food court open, and that was the only thing that was open in the entire mall.
I went in there, and there was a Sears in there that was still open.
Yeah.
Sears lasted for a while.
Sears was like the first big anchor, really.
What did you say Parisians turned into?
Parisians got absorbed into Belk.
Belk, okay.
Did you know Woolsworth turned into Foot Lockers?
They had the Woolsworth.
Foot Locker?
Yeah.
Really?
Yeah.
What are you talking about again?
Woolsworth, I guess eventually like a company that owned Woolsworth, but before they shut down, they turned into Foot Locker.
It's the same company.
I did not see that coming.
Yeah.
What a change.
Matt's about to fact check me on that.
No, no, no.
I was looking because there's one on this.
You might have won two.
I'm not only about 90% sure.
I'm looking at something else because it's on my list here, but I didn't see where it was.
Okay, yeah, goodies.
Goodies was a big one.
Goodies was really, really big.
Yeah.
I don't know about the rest of the country, but in Alabama, Goody's was like the go-to there in the 90s, 2000s.
Back to school central.
It was a big thing in our area here, but I feel like in Birmingham –, pretty prevalent, too.
They were headquartered in Houston, Texas, so it was a big Texas thing.
Oh, yeah?
We had that one weird one that popped up, and then it shut down, and then I swear it opened back up like a year later in Jasper.
Where the Hobby Lobby is.
Yeah.
Where what?
Hobby Lobby.
Mm-hmm.
Was that the original one?
One was there.
I think it's still about Planet Fitness.
Yeah, yeah, somewhere over there, too.
Is that where it reopened?
I don't know where.
I can't remember where it reopened.
I just remember.
That's okay.
The Hobby Lobby is the original one.
That's the original.
Did we have a...
Yeah.
I don't know.
There's one in Gardendale that was still open when we lived over there for a while.
Yeah, it was open a long time.
Is that the one?
Or was that one?
That was over near...
By a public subordinate?
It was, no, it was in that shopping center that's...
What, Books A Million is?
Uh-uh.
No, it was...
That's in Fultonville.
That's Fultonville.
Yeah, so this one was over by...
By the police station.
Yeah, kind of like where, you know, the UPS store and the pool store and all that area over there.
Service Merchandise.
The name is familiar, but I don't remember ever going in one or if we even had one around here.
I remember them vaguely.
I don't know that I ever went in one, but I remember my parents had a lot of stuff from that store.
From Service Merchandise?
Yeah, so I'm very familiar with the name.
They could carry it in Sears or something, wasn't it?
I think it was like a Sears.
Yeah, that's what it...
I'm trying to figure out where this one came from.
That KB Toys.
Yeah, Toy Store in general, man.
That was one in Jasper Mall.
Yep, yep, I was trying to find Oh, Walden Book, remember that?
Walden Book's right next to it Oh, that's not a Southern, no, it's Massachusetts KB Toys, Yep, but they kind of just expanded across the eastern U.S.
and then into the Midwest.
So I guess it's not really a West Coast thing.
It's just, but it's very much on the East Coast and started spreading that way and then shut down.
But that was our toy store locally.
What y'all know about that peanut shack?
Boy.
Oh, the smell was fantastic.
You smell like popcorn as soon as you walk in.
Popcorn, bag of popcorn as big as Drake.
Yep.
Cherky.
Cherky.
Cherky.
Please don't stop that what did you, Joey I don't even know what you're saying turkey or jerky for Instagram Joey made everybody into horror movie characters oh yeah did you zoom in on Chucky he turned Drake and Chucky I saw Chucky and he was like falling off the couch yeah but he was just little, he looked like old dude from the Goonies in the face.
Did you give it a prop did you say turn turned Drake into two?
No.
He did make it dark.
Yeah, he did.
Turn this whole door into Chucky.
I did the main, like I did the big four.
Jason, Michael Myers, Leatherface, and Freddy Krueger.
In every variation, they would put Chucky in there.
I just really wanted to put Chucky in there.
Yeah, and like they had him like hanging over the couch.
I'm like, no, I don't want that.
So finally, finally I just gave up and they, and it was, they turned Drake into Chucky.
His face looks melted.
And Eric said, Eric said, look it, zoom in on his face, and I said, turkey.
He got turkey.
You zoom in on anything AI, and you're going to get some surprises.
Yeah.
Or just swirl.
Joey said, give Drake a horror movie size appropriate character.
Well, they didn't do the leprechaun.
That's what I thought.
If it could be worse.
A ghouly.
Critters.
Yeah, yeah, just a little gremlin.
Yeah, a gremlin.
Yeah.
So, yeah, those are, there's plenty more that we've lost over the years.
Some of these are just like women's store, Delia's, Delia's, Wet Seal.
Delia, yeah.
Rachel used to go in that store, I think.
Yeah, these aren't guys.
Wet Seal was a big deal for my girlfriend at the time.
Man, hey, you know what?
If you was going to go out with a girl back in the late 90s or something, and she said, I'm going to get me something to wear, and she went to the body shop.
Well, look out.
It was on.
Yeah, she was getting fancied up.
And her parents are never going to know she bought that either.
Nah, she's going to get herself some leather pants and tube top, maybe.
Yeah, there's nothing.
There was no full-body coverage outfits at that place.
I remember the body shop.
The first credit card I ever got was— He spent it all—he maxed it out at the body shop.
Yeah, no, it was— Remember Structure?
Structure?
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, that was the first credit card I got.
That was like an American Eagle or one of those kind of stores.
Yeah, they turned it into something else.
Hollister or something, maybe one of those.
It starts with an E.
I can't remember what it is.
But yeah, I maxed out my credit card, and it took me like 20 years to pay it off.
It was like $200 or something.
The company's long gone.
I used to apply for them at like Macy's and all that all the time and get denied.
Thank God.
Because I would still be paying on it.
Do you get the discount still if you even attempt to apply?
I don't know.
Yeah.
I haven't applied for one in like 30 years.
Belk always trying to get you to do that.
Yeah.
You can save 20% if you just apply.
No.
I can promise you I'm not going to save anything.
You would not be offering me this.
I'm already shopping.
You're begging on door busters anyway.
Walgreens tried to get me to get a credit card the other day.
What?
I know.
Who has a Walgreens credit card?
What good does that do you?
It can't do you any good.
No.
Unless you're just getting your prescriptions.
Get a credit card.
How am I going there?
Getting your Walgreens prescriptions on there until you die and you ain't got it off or something.
Yeah.
There's a hack.
You said tj maxx card no i'm just saying every time i go in there they're like i mean you sure you don't want you saved this amount of 10 today tj maxx card get out of here hey back to kb toys though i just think kb toys was like the best toy store ever it was awesome it was a real like movie type toys yeah some deals are there have that little weasel up front chasing that ball and that thing.
What was the point of that thing?
But it was awesome.
You looked at it every time you walked in there.
Get that little puppy that barks and doesn't flip.
And then the robot dogs came out and you could play with them in there.
Yeah.
I remember that too.
Let me tell you, when my parents took me to Toys R Us for like the first memorable time I can remember, like comes to me, I was like, I've been under the gates of heaven.
Yeah.
Toys R Us?
I only went one time my whole life.
But my mom and dad, things are just more expensive here.
We're just going with KB Toys.
Yeah.
My parents took me one time and didn't buy me a single thing.
But looking back, they were scoping out what I wanted for Christmas, I think.
Yeah.
The first time, or the only time I can remember going, my mom took me because Darth Vader was there.
Ain't no way Darth Vader was in Toys R Us, Joey.
It was the real Darth Vader.
and I got my picture made with him and my mom wouldn't buy me anything so it was kind of like a Well my gosh she took you to see your dog's table was that not enough?
I wanted like they had a gizmo doll that I wanted to have You're sitting right next to gizmo what do you need?
Yeah you was gizmo in that scenario Whoa.
Easy now we dad worked at toys russ for i don't know how many of course he did about three four years yeah yeah your dad's been a manager a lot of places it seems like yeah that was a fun fun gig i got all the i so many like promotional things that like it's got to come down and so they just throw it away but the dad was like i'll tell you all my kids and i had so much of it like cardboard cutouts and these vinyl like banners yeah and over time i just got ripped away they're It's worth so much money now.
Oh, man.
I can't imagine, man.
So much money.
And I just played with them.
And it's so cool.
Hung them up the wall, threw them away when I went to college.
Man.
If I'd have kept just one of them.
Yeah.
Hundreds of dollars.
Yep.
If I'm not mistaken, I think Toys R Us absorbed KB's toys.
Here he goes again.
What?
They turned into Hibbett Sporting Goods.
Yeah.
It absorbed KB?
Yeah.
KB Toys.
What about they brought, like it went bankrupt.
Somebody bought it.
It came back, and they have like a tiny one inside of Macy's now.
Have you seen that?
Oh, really?
Like now?
Now.
Currently, yeah.
I can't tell you how long it's been since I've been in the Galleria.
I can't tell you how long it's been since I've been in the Galleria.
I went like about a year ago.
It was kind of cool.
I'm actually going this weekend for the kid's birthday.
Are you?
Yeah.
Dave and Buster's.
They got sued a lot, apparently.
Their downfall really happened.
It looks like it's coming on the tail of the dot-com bubble.
Like the early 2000s.
No, it could be toys.
And owed a lot of money to Hasbro and Lego, you know, not paying their bills.
And then Big Lots sued them for something.
Big what?
Yeah.
How bad off are you if Big Lots is suing you?
I know.
And, yeah, filed bankruptcy 2007, announced massive layoffs.
Let's see.
They were still trucking along until...
See, we're in 2009?
Joey's sweating right now a bit.
He's going fine.
He's going fine.
KB Toys brand and related intangible assets were sold by StreamBank LLC to Toys R Us on September 4, 2009 for a reported $2.1 million.
That's it.
$2.1 million?
That's it.
For KB Toys.
That's nuts.
Wow.
That's in the world of massive retail stores.
I'm sure there's not much left to KB in 2009, but that's...
Jeffrey the Draft is laughing his way.
That's nothing for a wrap that check.
Yeah, and it can't be toys.
I mean, Toys R Us team will last 10 years after that.
Yeah, that's crazy.
They went down in 2018.
We bought, Charlotte was born in 2018.
A few months before birth, we went by Toys R Us because they were doing like a fire, they were shutting down.
And we got her like car seats and stuff there for real cheap.
Really?
Because it was going out of business.
Dang.
The last time I went, I think Rachel was pregnant with Colt, who's 12 now.
Yeah.
And I know that because we got to park in a spot that said reserved for pregnant women or something like that.
That's such a great...
It was like, yeah.
Yeah.
But I can't remember which one that was.
It might have been the one across from the Galleria there.
That was the only one I ever went to.
There's one in Summit.
There's one in Central Plaza.
That's the one I can...
I think there's the last one that was open that I can remember.
Y'all count the Summit as a mall?
The Summit?
No.
Okay.
Just making sure.
I remember Summit had Zany Brainy.
What?
Mm-hmm.
You remember Zany Brainy?
What is that?
It was a toy store, but it seemed like it had more like...
Obby no no wait probably you had a whole section of that too if you remember right but i remember having a lot of like edge stem toys educational stuff oh for real yeah not not a lot of like dumb toys he's going over johnny rockets i freaking love johnny rockets.
Johnny rockets about a freaking gallery rockets if you want to i don't even know if i've ever eaten there lisa hates how if i if we're out somewhere and i could still spot a johnny rockets there's no doubt we're gonna eat there really it's good, You've never eaten Giant Rock?
Dude.
I don't think so.
It's the most mediocre food I could ever.
I've been in the one that was on Five Points.
Remember that one?
But I don't think I ate there.
You're there for the vibes.
Do y'all remember Fuddruckers?
Yeah, man.
Watch your mouth, boy.
I think there's still some of those around.
You had to go in there and make your own burger.
Yeah.
Make your burger?
Yeah.
Yeah, you did, didn't you?
We went to one before, I think.
Maybe so, yeah.
We were going on vacation or something.
The one in the Galleria at one time or.
Oh, it was close to it.
It might have been right out front.
Yeah, maybe so.
It was there somewhere.
Or the circle of...
Or it may have been where that, like, Ruby Tuesday's inside was or something.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Something like that.
I forgot about that one up there.
You mentioned the mini Toys R Us and Macy's.
Is that what you said?
I think it's Macy's.
Yeah, it is.
Do you know there's still one Kmart open in Miami, but it's a mini Kmart?
What?
What's it inside out of?
A Walmart?
Yeah, it's like the size of, like, a Dollar General or something.
Sheesh.
Really?
Yeah.
Yeah.
They got the cafeteria.
That's a weird place for it.
Yeah.
I don't know.
It's like the only one that's left open.
You know, Sam Walton ripped off Kmart.
The whole idea of it.
Kmart was first.
Well, he did it better, apparently.
He did it better, yeah.
But he literally took their entire plan.
Like Kmart.
There was some things I liked about it, but they did that to themselves.
I remember the one that we had.
It was like a generic Walmart.
Huh?
It was like a generic Walmart.
It was like fever dream Walmart.
Yeah.
I remember going in the one in Jasper every now and then if I needed something and I I just don't like Dollar General, so I've got options.
I'll go somewhere else.
I went to Kmart, and I could get one thing.
But if you went in there to browse, forget about it.
I remember going in there and they had toilet seats in the electronics section one time.
That's where they go.
Yeah.
My aunt managed that one until it closed.
Oh, that's on her.
Yeah, it's her fault.
I will tell you this, though.
Walmart only carried edited CDs in the Kmart.
Kmart did have Breno Viser.
They had the explicit version.
Did they really?
Yeah, and they did not care to sell them to you either.
No.
That's how I bought all mine.
See how well it worked for them.
They replaced the whole section with court seats.
Yeah, you better go get them when you can.
They used to have those doorbuster sales that the alarm would go off.
Blue light special.
Yeah, buddy.
Got that little robot thing?
Mm-hmm.
Go around with that light on it.
They had some, they just saw a little K-Cafe, the little popcorn and all that.
I was literally about to say the Icy's.
The Icy's.
You know what they had there?
The Icy's like mama's checking out.
Hot dogs.
They did?
Yep.
Might have been where my affinity began.
Probably.
It all started in Kmart.
You ever had one of them Costco hot dogs?
Actually have not.
Oh, you'd love it.
I went with that and the pizza and the chicken bake.
The pizza's good.
I've had to eat too.
See, here's the thing.
Here's the thing with Costco.
My mother-in-law and Brittany, they go because the only time I ever went, I like, my anxiety was so.
It's nuts.
Oh, it's a lot.
I was stemming out.
Yeah, it's a lot.
If you ever can go there during the week, like on a Thursday at 10 o'clock in the morning.
That's it.
Yeah.
It's the only time I will go in.
I was over there the other day.
It was, what day was that?
It was Tuesday afternoon.
And I was like, I gotta get some of the Galleria.
I'm gonna run by Costco for Gossip Time and I did.
And.
The parking lot was like a Saturday.
People were always just running through the parking lot with buggies and stuff, going crazy.
It's chaos.
And I love Costco, but I can't do that.
Yeah, Costco's cool, man.
There's nothing in there I want or need that bad.
I wish they'd give you bags, though.
Oh, yeah, same way, isn't it?
Why is that a thing?
Just give me a freaking bag.
Stuff so big you can't put it in a bag?
I guess so.
Well, yeah.
Hey, we got like four pounds of, a pack of like four pounds of Koneka at one time though.
Whoa.
Really?
At the Costco?
Yeah.
My parents used, they used to have a membership and just get me stuff from there.
And there was these like flounder fillets, breaded already.
Boy.
It's the only place I ever seen them, man.
The food is good.
Yeah.
They got some good stuff.
They got the best store brand stuff.
Yeah.
My dad, dude, he was drinking the Costco beer for a while.
The Kirkland beer.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And he was trying to convince himself and me that it was better than Miller Lite, which is what we did drink, me and him.
And he's like, it's just as good.
I drank one.
I can't finish this.
It's terrible.
And then he finally was like, yeah, it's not the best, but it's real cheap.
Like, yeah, I can tell.
You're getting a store brand.
It's Keystone.
It was worse than Keystone.
It was like Keystone if someone had poured about a tablespoon full of water into it.
Have we talked about the Walmart beer yet?
Please tell me it's called Sam's Choice.
No, I wanted it to be, actually, I wanted it to be Great Value.
And I think I saw a video on TikTok when I was talking about it and they show they'll display at a Walmart and we don't have them here yet.
And I'm hoping it does reach out, expands.
Because I was like, if you just slap Great Value on that beer, oh my God, you'd sell so much of it.
I'll start drinking again.
Put the old school Great Value on there.
Make it look like that old, like 90s Miller Lite logo.
You know how it had that?
Oh, man, yeah.
If I go, go put that on the beer.
No, it's Brewmaster's Golden Cerveza.
It's like a Modelo stock off.
I'll try that.
I was hoping it'd be like, you know how they have instead of Mountain Dew, they have Mountain Light.
Not convincing enough for me is break my soul, bro.
Yeah.
That's what I was hoping they'd have different names like that.
Give them time.
That's not, they could be doing that, but they're not.
Yeah.
That would be, well, I guess Cerveza.
That's pretty close.
Just Spanish for beer.
Foster's is Australian for beer.
That's what they say.
But if our Australians say, no, it's not.
No.
They say, what is that?
We've never had that.
It's a big old weird can.
I know that.
Makes you wonder, what are they having?
Like, this is what they do in America.
We've never heard of it before.
Oh, I bet there's a lot of that.
I call them shoeys over there.
They'd be drinking them out of shoes.
That's just gross.
I don't want to do that.
That is some Florida behavior.
That's why they get compared to Florida a lot.
Yeah.
Foolishness.
Oh, and one thing we've lost for sure.
There's one in particular I was thinking of, and I think it was, it's not Western Hills, but fountains, wishing wells.
We had one in Jasper.
Yeah, man.
We did, didn't we?
Yes.
What have they been taking?
Those that we had, they took out.
The Galleria used to have a giant fountain in the middle unless it was Christmas.
Then they put the carousel in.
Yeah.
But it was a huge fountain.
Took that baby out.
They was always in those little pits.
Mm-hmm.
Like a conversation pit.
But people would be throwing their chains in there all the time.
It would just be loaded.
I bet that probably was keeping them all alive when they decided to shut down the wishing wells and their fountains.
How many power bills?
They keep the lights on.
How many power bills do you think they paid by getting all the change out?
Those wells.
All of it.
That's when they started their decline, when it took the wishing wells out.
That was all that money.
Nobody wished for the malls to stay.
No.
Let's go back in time and do that.
God, if I could.
Then, of course, the Southern Food Court, Staples.
The first time I ever ate at this restaurant was in the mall.
It was Chick-fil-A.
Yeah.
Chick-fil-A.
What?
Yeah.
Like the only time we'd ever get it was at a mall.
I only remember getting at the mall, and then the first time getting out of a restaurant, It was like the one off 280, and I don't think it had a dining room.
It was like just a drive-thru, like a double drive-thru Chick-fil-A or something.
That's the only Chick-fil-A I knew about for a very long time.
The 280 one?
No, the one in the mall, yeah.
I thought that was the only one for a long time.
That was the first time I had everybody at a Subway.
In a mall?
In Jasper Mall.
Yeah, right across from Chick-fil-A.
That's a pretty good Subway, too.
I was hitting that up before they closed it, yeah.
They had a pretty good lineup.
They had Sneaky Pete's right there besides Chick-fil-A.
Oh, Sneaky Pete's, yeah.
That's an extremely Alabama thing.
thing but it was a it was Drake's kind of place it was all hot dogs it sure was man but good that sneaky peat sauce Nicky Drake mmhmm.
Chili cheese, dog.
That's what I get.
They say in these other food court staples, but I don't know if they were necessarily from the South.
We know Chick-fil-A is out of Georgia, but I don't know about Great American Cookies, but that's on here.
But God, I love some Great American Cookies.
Mm-hmm.
Love a good cookie spot.
That's why I like going to the gallery, though, because they had versatility.
Yeah.
The snack places in the gallery are holding strong.
Mm-hmm.
Great American Cookie Company's still up there rocking.
The Annie Ann's.
They got Cindy's or whatever.
Cindy's.
That had been there for decades.
Mm-hmm.
I used to park down by Cindy's, man.
That was a lot.
That parking deck spot.
That was the last thing I smelled going out of there.
Floor, floor, second level of the parking deck on the end.
Yeah, man.
That was a good spot.
Right by American Eagle up there.
Sbarro's, that can't be a Southern thing.
I guess maybe the fact that we don't really have a, like a sliced pizza place around us.
Hey, somebody told me that new truck stop they're building out on 22 is going to have a Sbarro in it.
Watch out, buddy.
For real.
I freaking, I know it's trash pizza and people that are all about like, especially the little North, like, oh, how could you eat that?
Blah, blah, blah.
That's because, have you seen our pizza choices down here?
I think it's great pizza.
I'll take Sbarro all day long.
Don't get snobby with pizza.
No.
Don't do it.
I like that conversation.
They have Orange Julius.
I don't think I saw an Orange Julius until I was in my 20s.
There was one in Central Plaza.
Was there?
Yep.
I guess I just overlooked it.
Yeah, I don't remember that.
I always thought it was just like a Dairy Queen thing.
I don't remember it either, but I remember my dad telling me about it.
It was a big thing.
I remember talking about it in movies and TV shows, but like having never seen one, I was like, that must be like a West Coast thing or something.
Yeah, about 99% sure it was Central Plaza that had one.
We were more inclined to have Smoothie King.
What are they?
Juice drinks or something?
Yeah.
Yeah, but I think they started, when smoothies started getting big, I think they started, like, pivoting a little more towards that.
That's a hilarious name, ain't it?
Orange Julius.
Just peace out.
Don't make me call Orange Julius.
Dippin' Dots, which I feel like Dippin' Dots is.
I always think O.J.
Simpson.
I do, too.
I can't not think of O.J.
Simpson.
I guess O.J.
Dippin' Dots is still a thing, too.
I love them.
Yeah, they're usually in packages now.
Yeah.
I don't like that.
That sucks.
That sucks, man.
By the time he gets to the bottom, it's a melting cup.
Dippin' Dots I still don't understand it Me either Yeah what is it It was just They don't matter I don't know I think it's from space You gotta think though If they were in malls They were targeted towards kids This is Not an interesting place Kentucky, Paducah, Kentucky Oh Paducah Paducah That's where Dippin' Dots came from Yeah Dippin' Dots are Ducca Yeah in 1988 I can't say it now Jones the What's his name What does he call him Jones Orange Jones Kirk Jones Orange Jones, Upset because of the name Orange Julius was taken.
He began the company in his parents' garage.
It was originally invented as cow feed when Jones, who specialized in cryogenics, was trying to make an efficient fodder for farm animals.
He was trying to freeze himself.
Oh, first I could make a process.
In 1996, it unsuccessfully sued its main competitor, Mini Melts, for patent infringement.
Well, I've never heard of Mini Melts.
Nope.
So...
Yeah.
In 2007, the U.S.
Patent and Trademark Office ruled against Dib and Dots because the process of creating the ice cream was obvious rather than proprietary.
But he had a good run.
And then in 2011, he filed for bankruptcy.
And then do Regions have it?
Regions, oh, he had the loan from Regions.
Maybe Regions owns it now.
They still put Dib and Dots by Regions.
Once they started having it in grocery stores and once you could get it in them pouches like out of a vending machine, that's not cool anymore.
It lost its magic.
No, I like a ballpark.
Listen, if I'm going to a ball game, and of course I want the ice cream sundae in the upside-down batting helmet.
If I can't get that, give me some Dippin' Dog.
Give me the banana split Dippin' Dog.
Remember Dairy Queen used to do those?
In a batting helmet?
They did them for the entire Major League's year.
I had a bunch of them.
I don't remember that.
They did.
You don't have to remember for it to happen.
I didn't doubt it.
I know that when we went to Dairy Queen, without fail, I'm getting a peanut butter parfait.
I didn't.
I like that.
I didn't play with the menu.
It was that every time.
Was we taking a break?
You liked that, wouldn't you?
Or did we?
I didn't time it, but I think we are about up to one.
But we do have one last place here that is a Southern Food Court staple.
I do want to give a shout out to all the Chinese places.
Without a doubt, I bet the majority of Southerners our age had their first taste of Chinese food in them all.
There's no doubt about it.
What was that one in the Galleria?
Nope.
Yicou Zinc.
Yeah, probably.
No, I'm saying that was my first taste of Chinese.
Probably, yeah, yeah, yeah.
We were lucky to have a really good big Chinese buffet in Somerton, didn't we?
In its prime, your cuisine was out of place being here.
Very much.
Everyone here, probably, that's the first time.
Yeah.
But Panda Express, the first time I ever had it, it was life-changing.
You're definitely going to get, like, you can't get orange chicken.
Orange chicken is not a thing at, like, southern Chinese restaurants.
No, it's not.
It's a mall thing.
Yeah.
But when you get some good orange chicken at the mall or Panda Express, dangerous.
What's the name of that one that was in the Galleria?
I can't think.
There's been so many different names.
There's one that's Thai food now.
On one end is Thai.
We were just there last week.
And then on the other end is...
Chinese.
It's like a Chinese hibachi thing, but not all of it.
I had some weird chicken.
It was like grilled Chinese chicken or something.
Chickadee China?
I forgot what the seasoning said it was, but it basically tastes like a mixture of soy sauce and Dale's marinade.
MSG.
It's freaking delicious.
I absolutely tore that thing up.
Salt juice.
Yeah, it was.
It was.
Straight MSG.
Just a little bit of rice there with it.
Yeah.
I bet that was good, man.
It was.
I loved walking around just not being able to decide, and just wherever you stop, that's what you was eating.
I was having a great— Give me the— Let me try that.
Get a pull-toothpick out.
There was always Sambarros for me.
I've always been a pizza snob.
I get Boy I put so much Parmesan cheese On top of that thing.
God that's That's good pizza Sbarro is good pizza For what it is Greasy On a paper plate, Yeah boy Already the thinnest Paper plate You could possibly imagine You can see through it Yes You're holding on For dear life Just on the way To find a table Yeah Oh boy Alright we gonna take A little break When we come back And talk about Some other great things About the mall Some stores, That you don't eat in, Or they prefer you not to eat.
They don't like you walking in the bathroom and starting eating candles.
That's for me to decide.
You could.
Yeah.
Watch me.
Hey, the bottle says try me.
It didn't say in what manner I should.
Yeah.
If you want me to be, you know, be more specific with that label.
I always thought it was trying to fight me.
Hey, we'll be right back.
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A couple of them were even designed by us on the show.
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So what are you waiting for?
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But when that's over with, go check it out for yourself.
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If you got dropped to the middle of a mall in 1995 right now, where are you going first?
Sound shop.
Look at some CDs, tapes.
Trying to figure out why my mom and dad's dropping off a five-year-old by himself at the mall.
Help me.
Yeah.
They don't want me no more.
I'd have been nine.
Probably be, he probably should be with some friends.
Probably went to the toy store, though.
Definitely not by yourself.
For sure.
Yeah, sound shop for me as well.
No, today, you're at today's age.
You're not your, yeah.
And you've got unlimited money.
Oh, wow.
But you don't.
You've got today's money, but it's a lot back then.
A lot back, yeah.
I'm really confused.
How old and how rich?
You could be your age right now if you wanted to be.
Yeah, you could be, yeah, you've got $1,000 in your pocket.
Back in the old style.
Nope, you've got $1,000 today's money.
So that's $5,000 in 1995 money.
Yeah.
That whole mall is yours.
Where do you go first?
Boy, probably Foot Locker.
Oh, my God.
Oh, you could.
You're right.
Is your strategy going to be, I'm going to go in here.
I'm going to get everything.
Grab all of this and then like not open it.
I'm about to resell it.
This pristine condition Jordan's from 1995.
Oh, if I, yeah.
If it's, we're going back in time, you're saying.
Yeah, yeah.
Time traffic.
Yeah, yeah.
You're time traffic.
Not just the future.
Yeah, well, let's not do that.
Let's not do that.
Because the obvious thing is I'm going to go get the things that are worth the most money now that's still in the box.
Like the video game stuff.
Yeah, just the things you want.
I remember for Christmas every year at our, my grandma lived downtown Jasper and all the kids would come over there and she would give us 20 bucks each for every Christmas.
Did she do it and she'd get those little bank envelopes?
Yeah, it was.
I love this.
It was actually, yeah.
You know what you'll get.
That's what we did.
We all went to Jasper Mall and spent that $20 and I can tell you it felt like $5,000.
Oh yeah.
It was amazing.
I had five, I had five uncles and they would give each kid $10, just Walmart gift cards.
I felt like a freaking millionaire.
Oh, man, yeah.
Those, yeah.
It was better than the bought triple pack.
My uncle always gave us $20 for Christmas, and it was always in a First National little envelope, First National Bank.
Yeah.
Yeah.
With a little mistletoe on it.
That's exactly where it was from.
If it's 95 and I got unlimited money, I want to go to the Galleria and go to that weird pet store and buy with a couple of dogs.
You're going to buy a couple of dogs.
Let them out.
Dang.
The outlet malls in Austin I think we were in Austin yeah, They have an adopt, like, where you go in and adopt pets.
That's why this was in a gallery.
Yeah.
Yeah, it was in the gallery.
I didn't, like, I didn't know it was still a thing is what I'm saying.
Rachel said she was on a field trip one time and they went by the gallery and she tried to get a dog while she was on her field trip.
And the teacher, like, called her out on it.
Good calling.
Yeah.
Could you imagine bringing the kid back?
How was your field trip at the mall?
I got a dog.
I would be so mad.
No, you don't have a dog.
So mad.
So my family, your teacher got one.
Yeah, the school has a mascot.
We bought a poodle from that store.
Yeah, I heard about this.
I heard this store.
From the mall?
Yeah, from the gallery.
That place, right?
Huh?
That place you're talking about.
Yeah, and that same place, you know, it paid, I forget how much it was, but we bought, you know.
$300 if I remember correctly.
Probably.
It's supposed to be a full-blooded poodle, right?
We get home and they're like, well, we'll send you the paperwork, you know, we'll send you in the mail and all this.
And like almost a year later, they said, somehow we figured out it wasn't a full-blooded poodle.
And so, you know, my dad was like, hey, what's going on here?
And he's like, well, bring it back.
We'll give you another one.
Yeah.
And we had this dog already for a year.
We already had it.
Didn't they give you like half the money back or something like that?
Yeah, I think so.
Gave us half of it back.
That's sad.
I was trying this thing.
Yeah, so.
That's wild, man.
That's a mall story right there.
Yeah.
So who knows what.
That's his bootleg poodle.
Yeah, bootleg dogs that they sell.
You have to look at that dog in his little poodle eyes and tell it, or half poodle eyes.
Yeah.
You know, we don't know the percentage yet.
And be like, well, listen, we know you've been a year, and we've loved on you for a solid year, but you're— We need a full-blooded poodle, buddy.
Yeah, this is not—, You're not who we thought you were.
You're not French enough for us.
The receipt lot.
Yeah.
It was one of those big poodles too, wasn't it?
No, it was a small.
Oh, it was a small guy.
Oh, it was aggressive.
Pepe.
What's his name?
Pepe?
I thought you said the dog was Pepe.
Pepe or Pepe?
Pepe.
Pepe.
He eventually wouldn't stay in the house anymore, so we just let him go, and he just roamed around the neighborhood, and he was like a gang leader.
Really?
He'd be running.
You wouldn't see him for a few days, and then you'd seen him walking around with like a pack of dogs just following him.
That was Pepe.
So you say if you had the $5,000, you would buy a couple of dogs there?
Yeah, probably.
One of these has got to be a poodle.
Yeah, that's what I was thinking.
Was you hoping to settle the odds on that?
I swear, if one of these ain't a poodle.
There's a poodle and a bird.
He comes in and throws his mouth, give me all your poodles.
He's got a parrot.
Like, I don't think this is a dog.
Yeah, what is this?
Sprint painted white.
This is not a poodle.
Have y'all seen the AI videos, the dog shooting the gun in the door and then flashing a gang sign at the ring camera?
No, but I like the sign for that.
Oh my God, I gotta send you all that.
Anyways, that's his dog now.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
What happened to Pepe?
Pepe.
He, uh, I guess he eventually, you know, lost to the streets.
Got caught lacking by ops.
Mm-hmm.
He did.
The van from- He got a shot to y'all.
The mall showed back up and was like, get back in the van.
We saw him a day later.
I can't believe you blew your cover.
Blew your cover.
Thinking back, I'll tell you a story that I lived in.
Anytime I went to the mall was Suncoast.
Yes.
Yeah, I loved it.
Love it.
Love it.
The movie's galore.
That's what it should have been called.
I was- Well, they had a movie gallery.
I would, uh, I think I'd go straight back to the Disney store.
I did love the Disney store.
It was, yeah.
I mean, I'm a kid.
I'm 95.
I'm nine.
I thought you was going to be a grown man going back.
Yeah, I want to go back and just, I just wanted my childhood.
Man, I just remember walking back there and that mountain of stuffed animals was just like, I wanted to jump on it.
Just jump in the pile.
Then I'll learn later, you can get hurt doing that.
Yeah.
Very much the structured tier thing of plywood that makes it look like it's a mountain of stuffed animals.
Yeah, it's not.
People have gotten hurt doing that.
Forgot about the Disney store.
But also not only that.
That was a magical store.
I hit that up, and then I go upstairs, if I'm in the Galleria, and I go to the WB store.
Do you remember the WB store?
Oh, yeah.
Their answer to the Disney store?
Yeah.
That was pretty sweet, because it was like- They have any of those frogs in it?
Do what?
And then frogs in there?
The Michigan J Frog, his name.
Yeah.
Their logo guy.
He was- Hello, my darling.
Lots of stuff there, but also that came, that's post-Space Jam.
So they had a lot of, I remember them having some Space Jam stuff, and then you got a lot WB owns DC and I think they had some Batman and Superman stuff in there pretty good.
I know for a fact I got a stuffed Animaniac from there.
Oh yeah, yeah.
I'd go in one of those weird stores that sold like crystals and things.
You remember those?
Those Svorsky.
Yeah.
But that's a name brand.
You look at it and you're like I don't really know what they do in there.
I'd go in there and buy something.
They still had that one in Brookwood Mall before they showed them.
They lasted a while and I don't know how.
Where were the stores that sell, like, paintings and stuff?
I got kicked out of World Market.
They're the same place.
I got banned from World Market.
Not that place, but there are some of those.
There was an art, I think, in Brookwood, and I wasn't like a— There was in Galleria.
Was it?
Maybe.
Yeah.
All kind of random.
Like, one of them sell—one store sells, like, massage chairs or something like that.
Yeah.
Like, at one time, you could go buy you a dog and a painting in the same strip.
Galleria.
And get a massage.
You could almost do that at a lot of gas stations around here, too, though.
Yeah.
That's pretty— Yeah.
Mm-hmm.
Yeah, you could.
Pretty close.
Yeah.
Do you remember that World Market store that was like right at the corner of the food court in the Galleria?
Well, they had salads or something?
No, it was like wooden, like wooden, like crafts.
Anyway, I knocked a globe off of the shelf, and it shattered.
Whoa.
Like broke all the pieces, and it was like 600 bucks.
Oh, my God.
What?
Did you run?
Yeah, they caught me too.
Did they?
Yeah.
What was you doing in there?
Huh?
Why was you in there?
I was looking.
Oh, no.
I was a kid of taste.
Uh-uh.
You shouldn't have been in there.
Man of culture.
$600 Globes should not have been sitting out, like, within reach to get knocked over.
It was on, like, a table.
That's on them.
It was on, it was like a table with, like, things.
That's dumb.
What happened?
I turned around into it.
What'd they do?
They just told me not, I could never come back.
I'd be trespassed.
Yeah.
I was, like, 12, 13.
But from that store, not the whole.
Yeah, not the whole mall.
Yeah, you're like, yeah.
Man, that's crazy.
I ran straight to the Jewish people trying to tell me I needed my hair curled.
Oh, yeah.
The kiosks in the mall.
Yeah.
They're still a thing.
There's just not quite as many.
They're really overbearing, too.
Yeah, they're aggressive.
They can't be, especially at Christmas time.
Yeah, man.
I used to be going in there and getting me some silver Figaro chains.
Oh, yeah.
The fake ass.
Yeah.
Them CZ earrings, man.
As of last week, one of those stores still exists in the mall.
It's up there where a jewelry store used to be.
One of those fake jewelry stores?
Yeah, big ones.
Oh, really?
Get you some chains.
Yeah.
Chain gang.
Yeah.
Yeah, Lisa wouldn't let me go in there and take a look.
I got a bootleg Penny Hardaway jersey from there one time too.
Really?
Yep.
Now they've got the kiosk or like their house shoes that look like sneakers.
You ever see those?
No.
They're like big puffy sneakers.
Oh, yeah.
They got a lot of those there for some reason.
Random remote control coins.
The question I had, one of the first purchases that I remember making with money that I didn't earn, I was too young for it, it was given to me for like go buy a Christmas present.
It was at a kiosk in the mall and I still have it.
I wish I thought about it had to have brought it, but it's packed up in the basement.
Which is in the garage, but it was a CD holder.
And it was like an accordion, like two sides you could flap open, but you only flap open one at a time and peel it back, and then you could flip through.
You could peel both sides, and then it opens up like an accordion with these slots you stick the CD in.
I still got that.
It still has CDs in and around.
I kept it in my truck up until my most recent truck.
Probably got some good stuff in there, huh?
Oh, yeah.
It's still got it.
I've still got my entire CD album.
I wish I did.
Through the years, I've had those, and they come in.
You get them from Walmart and they start to overtime, they'll crack.
But this one from the Galleria, holding still.
Do you remember your first mall purchase?
It would have definitely been from those Christmas gifts.
But I feel like I got something like, I don't know exactly what it would have been.
But I can picture in my head buying a couple, like a yo-yo or something like that.
But some kind of gimmicky thing of the time period like that.
Some kind of little toy of some kind of like that.
That's seen on TV kind of deal.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah.
Something like that.
It seems like it might have been like a light-up yo-yo or something like that.
It was something along those lines.
It was pretty sweet.
I think mine might have been like a super soaker from KVTOS.
I don't remember mine.
Those were awesome.
I was just, oh yeah, pump and dunk.
Poodle.
Yeah.
With air quotes, poodle.
He's still thinking how he can get two dogs.
Yeah.
You got to buy one, get one.
You don't remember?
No, I don't.
I mean, I can, I'm probably a cassette tape or something.
Most likely a single.
Yeah.
Man, single cassette tapes.
Yep.
And a little sleeve.
What are you talking about?
Oh, boy.
A single?
Like a single?
Like one song?
It was like two or three songs.
A and B.
Oh, yeah.
And they were in little cardboard sleeves.
Oh, crap.
I forgot about those.
Yeah.
They'd just be a stack of them at the record store.
Yep.
You got to look through them.
And you can get one of that.
I remember getting the CD ones, and they'd be in the paper little sleeves, too, like that.
Oh, yeah.
Remember the CDs when they first came out?
There was in those giant cardboard things?
Yeah.
You know, there was like.
Yes.
Yeah, they were.
Twice the size of the CDs.
They don't make no sense.
At the stores, when they would have them in those, I guess it was like a anti-theft device, but they'd be in that big plastic.
Oh, God, yeah.
They'd have to come pull them out.
But yeah, they'd be sorting through them, and you'd be flipping them in on like stilts.
Yeah.
Looked like an oversized Nintendo cartridge.
Yeah, the CD was flipping the top on them.
Right, yeah.
Yeah.
Looked like an oversized Nintendo cartridge.
Yeah, it kind of did.
It did.
And they'd put that little key in there and slide it.
That's how SoundShot did them.
Yeah.
Speaking of buying cassette tapes when you're young, I was in, like, the original Walmart before they had the SuperCenter or whatever.
And I was going to go buy—I had my allowance, and I was going to go buy ACDC's Razor's Edge.
Yeah, boy.
And I don't know how, probably 13 or whatever.
And I went to go get the cassette tape, and there was this pretty hot girl that was working behind the counter.
And I was like, man, she's going to think I'm cool getting an ACDC cassette tape.
Mm-hmm.
And I was just kind of strutting up there.
And the next thing I know, I was laying on the ground.
Apparently, I took the corner and tripped over the shelf right in front of her.
Oh, my God.
And fell flat on my face.
And I looked up, and she looked at me and goes, she said something like, that shelf jumped right out at you or something like that.
Oh, dang.
And I just take the cassette tape and was like, I will not be buying this today.
She's like, hurry, dog.
You should have stayed on the ground and just held it up like this.
As the kids would say, you were cooked.
Yeah, I found my mom.
She was like, we got to get out here quick.
Why are you crying, Joe?
Yeah, we got to go now.
Go sit in the car with me.
That's humiliating.
Did you ever get that album?
Did you get your Rhythm Nation CD?
I think I told her that.
Yeah.
Can you go by and get the ACDC cassette album?
Yeah, it's in the floor back there.
It's Tyler, I broke it.
We can't.
We got to get the poodle.
You have this.
I want to end with that.
You're talking about...
Since we're on the topic of media, the video game thing you brought up, I do want to take a crack at this before we wrap up here.
So, you know, holidays are coming up and, you know, video games are always a big purchase.
Big gift, Joey.
Big gift.
So, I got a list.
The top 10 selling video games in the year 2001.
2001.
Don't let me get my bearings here.
Why'd you go to one and not just 2000?
Because I'll explain afterwards.
Okay.
It's a funner list so I know we got Dreamcast games are we are we N64 or are we GameCube in this place we are across all platforms, better to tell you what platforms we're dealing with can you tell us you know what can you just tell us what platforms were oh okay on this list we got PS1 PS2 GameCube Xbox PC Xbox had to be.
Dreamcast I don't man I sure brought my glasses I can't see this Oh my lord Dang it, Eugene I don't see Typical Eugene I don't see Dreamcast But Yeah, for good reason Game Boy Nobody bought one Game Boy Game Boy Game Boy Color specifically Oh, that's gonna be a Pokemon game Is it?
Yeah There you go So, in at number Well, number nine Yeah, you're just gonna tell what he got?
Yeah, so in at number nine Pokemon Gold and Silver Apparently it was a package I could have told you the colors I had those, I know.
College football.
No, no college football.
Is this all year long, or is this at Christmas time?
2000, yeah, the whole year.
Okay.
Oh, yeah.
Did you say Nintendo 64 was on that list?
Yeah.
Now, these games weren't necessarily released that year.
This was games that people bought.
So, yeah.
One of the Red Dead Redemption?
No.
I think you have another year until that comes out.
But do you have Grand Theft Auto in there?
Grand Theft Auto 3.
Coming in at number two.
Yep.
Hmm.
One and two.
Step up, boys.
Just try to get on the list somewhere.
I'm trying to think here, man.
I said Madden earlier.
Is Madden on there?
Madden 2002.
Yeah, Madden.
That's probably number one, right?
Number one.
Yeah.
Extra points if you can guess who the cover was.
2002.
Was it Steve McNair?
That's a good guess.
No, but it is a big cup.
Donovan McNabb?
Oh, y'all are close.
No, no, no, no.
Mikovic?
Man, y'all are so close with the race of the quarterback.
Okay.
Cam Newton.
Scam.
Okay hold on hold on hold on hold on you said we've said McNair we've said McNab we've said Vic.
Mooney?
Who?
No.
That's too late.
Minnesota Vikings at the time.
Oh.
Culpepper?
Dante Culpepper.
Dante Culpepper, yeah.
Woo!
That bulls.
Throwing the Randy Moss.
How about NBA Live or 2K?
No.
God.
You got a Mario game on there?
You got Sunshine?
No Mario.
MLB.
MLB the show.
No.
Zelda?
He don't even know.
No.
He's looking right at it.
Don't know.
God, Lee.
This is terrible, man.
You got like Metal Gear.
How old were we all into that?
Metal Gear Solid 2.
Yeah.
Coming in at number six.
That was a great game.
Yes, it was.
We're not really into Call of Duties at that point.
No, no Call of Duties.
Medal of Honor?
Are we in Halo?
You got Halo in there?
No Halo.
There's gotta be.
No Halo.
Wow.
But you do have an original Xbox game on there.
Yeah, well, Madden was...
Oh, Tawny Hawk.
Tony Hawk.
So, Tony Hawk, Pro Skater 2 in at number three.
Tony Hawk, Pro Skater 3 at number four.
Pro Skater 3 was so much better than two.
Yeah.
Man, everybody played that.
I didn't give a rip about skateboarding.
It was just a fun game.
Good soundtrack, too.
Is this one of the Spider-Man games on there?
No, no Spider-Man.
But think of, like, if you had a PC, everybody had this game for PC.
Doom?
No.
Warcraft?
World of Warcraft.
No.
Good one.
Rollercoaster Tycoon?
I did, man.
Sim City and Tycoon, that was the best.
You almost got it.
Not Sim City and not Rollercoach Tycoon?
No.
The Sims?
The Sims.
Oh.
Sims at number eight.
You mentioned, I'll go ahead and say, Pokemon Stadium 2 is at number 10.
Bro, Pokemon Stadium.
Dope.
And then it looks like one more is a racing game.
Racing game.
It's Need for Speed back then.
No.
NASCAR.
Grand Turismo.
Grand Turismo 3 at number 7.
Oh, that game was good.
You got that with PlayStation.
PlayStation.
Oh, one more.
One more based on a movie that came out that year.
Oh, this is exciting.
Action movie?
I guess it has action.
That's why I said Spider-Man.
Because it was a PlayStation.
Sort of.
There's some action in it, I guess.
What can you tell us?
Oh, Dumb and Dumb.
Huge franchise.
Dumb and Dumber.
The start of a huge franchise.
Star Wars.
Oh, it was Fast and Furious.
No.
The start of it.
Yeah.
First movie.
Harry Potter.
Shrek.
Harry Potter and the Sorcery Star.
Oh, I bet.
Yeah, that was.
That coming in number five.
Those games were cheeks.
That was tough.
That was very difficult.
Yeah, the reason I did 2000 because I started off with it because, you know, but half of the games on it was Pokemon games.
There's like four games on for the game.
Spitting them out.
The Game Boy and then there was like two for like the regular consoles.
Big year for Pokemon.
So 2001 was a funner.
Y'all see that Lego Game Boy at Walmart?
Very cool looking.
Yeah, I'm gonna get one.
I'm thinking it must be real small because it's like 60 bucks for a Lego set.
Yeah.
That's on the lower end.
The box is huge though.
Yeah, I know.
So something's up.
It's leading.
But I do want it.
Might be actual size.
So if you're watching this, you want to know what to give me for Christmas.
And Eric, too, apparently.
I would like one.
We want some Legos.
Yep.
Let's Lego.
We want KB Toys to come back, but if you can't do that.
Yeah, that would solve the Lego problem.
Then get the company that has all their debt.
Lego.
Bad to eat it.
Well, there we go.
That was a fun one.
That was a...
I hope you all enjoyed that trip down memory lane.
Made me want to get on the pay phone and call my mama to come get me.
Did y'all ever get...
I never really got dropped off at the...
I did.
It was just only...
Every Friday night.
If I did, it was with a friend, and their mom took us.
Like, my mom was like, we'll just leave us at the mall.
Yeah.
Well, no, my mom did, but with a friend.
Never had.
Always had a friend with me.
That was a hangout spot.
That sure was.
When you were 14, 15 years old.
Yeah, I remember right before I started driving.
I was like 15.
That's where I get dropped off.
Zoo that or Skate Galaxy.
No.
No.
I'd seen Steven get beat up so bad there.
Skating rinks, bowling alleys, all that stuff was never like.
I guess it would be fun, but it's not like, I won't come out here again next week.
Like it.
Yeah.
Also, I didn't skate.
So that was just never fun for me.
It was just somewhere to hang out.
Yeah.
Play arcade games.
Yeah, four games they have.
Some kids, they'll get dropped off and sneak into the bathroom and change in the clothes that their parents wouldn't approve of.
Oh, yes.
Well, I mean, I bought this nice outfit from the body shop, so I'm going to wear it.
Yeah.
Y'all are going to see this belly.
My spaghetti straps.
Yeah.
That's what's the main reason you go do stuff.
Girls were there.
Did y'all used to dare to go into the Victoria's Secret store in the Galleria when you were kids?
Yeah.
Bet you won't go touch a bra.
Man, I almost— Go put that bra on and run back out.
We were there last week with the girls.
We had to go get Charlotte a dress, and I suggested let's just go to the Galleria because, you know, there'll be options.
And we were exiting from the food court area, and we have to walk past that Victoria's Secret.
And I almost slammed the stroller into a kiosk.
Busted.
at least it knew it too I'm a man I'm gonna look it's a 10 foot tall almost naked woman, who's not gonna look you should be concerned if I don't if that was a man in his underwear by all means.
It was impressive because there's not many I should have seen that little American Cookie Company kiosk it was close it was just sitting there That's right.
Man, Hollister and Abercrombie, what a time.
Smothered you alive.
It was so dark in there.
Hollister was dark, for sure.
I was too poor and too chubby for Abercrombie.
It's just not going to happen.
They didn't have a husky section.
No, just take my money to...
American Eagle.
Yeah.
Or.
American Eagle's better anyway, in my opinion.
Air Apostle.
Air Apostle.
Air Apostle.
Air Apostle.
They're back around.
What?
They're selling their stuff in other stores.
I forgot where I saw it, but I was like, you came from that store?
You came from like TJ Maxx or something.
Dudes that just got out of prison, they love it.
They love that stuff.
What?
The American Apparel or American Eagle and all that stuff.
You ever notice dudes like our age that just get out of prison?
That's what they go they're always decked out that stuff that's their thing cause it was like what was popular when they got locked up most of the time, you just revert back so they just go back yeah so you see somebody wearing like and they can afford it now you're right oh yeah you'll see them like with Hollister and all that stuff all the time and they're wearing it like they did like you would in early 2000s I've never thought about it you're picking right back where they left it's hilarious it's hilarious every time a dude comes in the shop dressed like that I'll look at the guys and be like prison this guy out of prison.
Same with Ed Hardy.
That guy's about 10 years.
Oh, for sure.
He's been in for about 10, 15.
For sure.
Ed Hardy should probably be coming back.
What do you think?
Let's hope not.
It's pretty...
Von Ducks, people are wearing that again.
We all going to be sitting here with our hats like this.
I won't be.
Let's hope.
I won't be.
I'm going to have a dragon all over my head.
It's a glitter tiger.
It's the jeans.
It's the jeans that these guys wear.
Terrible.
Men don't need to have that many designs on.
Men shouldn't have designs on the jeans at all.
Freaking Buckle.
That's the name of the store.
Buckle.
Oh, yeah.
Isn't that still a thing?
Yeah, where they sell like the Affliction t-shirts and all that kind of stuff.
I bet that's still open.
That's probably still open.
Probably.
Probably.
I haven't seen her in a while.
Got a design on your butt pocket?
Yeah, man.
That's too much.
See what I'm talking about.
No dude should have a bedazzled butt.
No.
You know, there's always.
Or a bedazzled belt.
Not to get too far off, but I know we're trying to finish up.
But there's always that couple at the bar that's wearing pants like that.
The middle age and the dude's usually buff and he's got a t-shirt.
$80 t-shirt on.
That used to be the Jasper Bar guy.
I was about to say, it's Greenhorn Saloon Friday night special.
Her hair is fried.
The girl's got the jeans with the white stitches.
Smell them.
All the way down them.
The little thing on the back.
Oh, man.
Reeking of cigarettes and cheap perfume.
They drank a Jager Mosker in the car before they come in.
We're about a quarter mile from Savory Bar where you know that's happening right now.
Yeah, they're about to come hunting us.
If there's any bar around us, they'll have it before Jasper does.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
That's peak Savory behavior.
Yeah, it is.
For sure.
Husband owns a roofing company or something.
Now, this is a stupid thing to say.
Because he has a record, and so that's the only way.
But they don't care if you're roofing.
They don't care.
I just had a memory from the mall right quick, and this is dumb.
But when we were kids, we saw local newscaster Pam Huff in the gallery.
Oh, Huff and Magic Dragon.
And my friend goes up to her to ask for an autograph, and she said no.
What?
And so she was like with another friend or whatever.
I don't know.
But he got mad and called her Ham Puff.
To this day, I always look at her and call her Ham Puff.
I like that.
Did she hear it?
He walked off and said, Ham Puff wouldn't give me her honor.
She wouldn't give her honor.
She used to the newscaster.
James Spann would never.
No, he really wouldn't.
She seems like a nice lady.
Maybe she was busy or just he was an annoying kid anyways.
Brenda LaDonna wouldn't have done it.
Brenda Lidon will give you an autograph.
Oh, in a heartbeat.
I seen Janice Rogers at Red Lobster one time.
Yeah, I was with you.
Yeah.
She was with her son or something.
Yeah.
Oh, I seen Mike Dubberley in the little Build-A-Bear place one time.
He's about...
Was he getting him a bear?
I think so.
He's about the size of a teddy bear.
He's a little guy.
Yeah.
We got a newscaster from our area now.
Yeah, we do.
Would she sign autographs?
Maybe she would give us an autograph.
I bet she would.
She'd like them on the podcast.
We want Ham Puff.
Ham Puff.
It's Ham Puff or nothing.
It's a tough minute.
We want...
I can never not see her as Ham Puff.
What's that weird acting lady?
Janet Hall.
Oh.
We're going to bring her and let her sing.
She's singing.
She's got a whole album.
She's like a folk artist.
What?
Yes.
What?
Yes.
She's like a jazz or a folk artist or something.
Yeah.
Janet Hall.
She's old Duke Silver.
You know who she is.
Really?
Yeah.
I know who she is.
I know who she is.
Sitting next to old Bill Bolin.
Yeah this like she that was the thing she did back then she's always done it yeah she still does probably like you can look up on YouTube and see her like performing live it's hilarious to watch her sing yeah Oh, wow.
Which is not bad.
She plays a guitar.
Yeah, plays a guitar.
That's what you say.
We got to have her own show.
Well.
Has the music left.
Oh, she did?
No.
Oh.
No, I just called her weird.
I didn't mean it, though.
That's okay.
Well, we called Pam Huff and Puff.
Yeah.
Do you remember Mark?
I had to think of what her real name was for a second.
It's all been stuck.
You remember Mark and Brian?
They did a song called Huff the Magic Dragon.
And it said, lives in Birmingham.
And then they also did one that said, Pam Huff got a big old butt.
They was on her all the time.
I didn't realize.
I don't know why.
Yeah.
This is why.
I think she just retired.
The public has turned her into this.
She thought she was going to get made fun of.
Yeah.
Pam Huff rules.
Yeah.
Mike Royer.
Shout out.
Oh, Mike Royer.
He was in the Summerton Christmas Parade when I was a kid.
Really?
Yeah.
What y'all know about that?
Gerard Tracy.
Oh, my God.
I saw him pumping gas one time.
Me and him go to the same doctor.
Yeah.
His allergy doctor.
Allergy doctor.
Yeah.
We were on the same schedule for a while, and that's what they called him, Gerard.
Really?
That's got to suck.
It was funny.
It was just Jerry.
It was Jerry.
Yeah.
He seemed real cool because a lot of times people would come up to him and talk to him, and he was always, like, really cool to people.
That's cool.
Because the weather guys always seem like the weirdest to me.
He always reminded me of Mr.
Cotter on Welcome Back Cotter if you remember that.
He got a little bit of that.
I guess he probably retired too.
Yeah, probably.
All them dudes did.
Span's the only OG when still left from the game.
Mickey Ferguson.
He's not a weatherman.
He's a weatherman.
Big old goofy son of a gun.
He's not a meteorologist.
He is a meteorologist, but that's a weatherman all day.
He alone.
He walks onto a green-screened school bus.
I can't stand him.
I can't stand him.
I do that.
I don't mind saying it.
He wasn't there this past year.
He he'll i do that jack's biscuit bake-off thing every year oh yeah most years and i didn't know he was gonna be there i skipped it one year because i don't want i don't want to see he's just too much energy at he's doing early in the morning and he comes in there like he's doing stand-up like he comes in doing crowd work when he comes in the room and it's a there's like there's like 50 people in here no and it's just like first of all too early for this energy i understand that like this is your job but not here yeah not in jack's corporate office not with me here you know you know why he acts like that i bet he wears a freaking bow tie he does these bow tie guys they got the weird energy about him they are yeah yes and he's got it he's got it but he's just he's just goofy cutting up jokes and we're here to eat biscuits buddy yeah yeah i just don't just appreciate it you got a viral video that didn't make him look no good no it didn't yeah i i.
Kind to know what you're talking about.
There's a child.
Something he got his words mixed up.
He got his words mixed up.
There's another one.
That one was really bad.
There was another one where he was, tried to have a black scent and that one went viral.
And I mean, it's just, I mean like the man does something every day that should get him canceled.
This doesn't always get caught on camera.
And I don't think it's intentional.
Like I don't think, I don't think Mickey Ferguson is a bad guy.
Nah, nah.
I don't think Mickey Ferguson is a bad guy.
I just don't ever want to be in the same room with him.
You know what he could say the same thing about me and I just respect yeah that's fine same same, next week our guest Mickey Ferguson yeah now with the weather let's bury the hatchet triple threat match Butterbean Matt Mickey yeah oof oh Vicky Merguson.
I've been calling Vicky the whole time all right here we go that's a fun we went all over the place I think we recorded for two hours we did It feels like it.
We did.
All right.
So, I hope you enjoyed that one.
If you did, that's good.
If there's plenty more episodes where you found this one, just check out hootandaholler.com for packed episodes and merch and so much more.
And by more, I mean just music playlists.
That's on there, too.
And by playlists, I mean just one.
We've only done one.
We've got to get on that.
So, yeah, check that out.
If you listen, check out the video version on YouTube and vice versa.
There we go.
That's it.
Take care.
God bless.
Tell your mom and him we said To heck with Ham Puff Yes Unless your mom is Ham Puff Unless your mom is Ham Puff Then get her autograph for us please Apparently it's very hard to get, Maybe that's what it is She knows that every time she signs the value of her autograph goes down So she's very selective with it Bet you won't go touch a brawl.