We acknowledged the traditional custodians of the land we're recording on today.

Welcome back to another brilliant episode of Eat Sleep Pete.

I'm Kelly McCarran and I've got a lot of confidence in this show.

We have yet another what does that start?

Well?

Because I was like, wellcome back to another Brewin episode, like I've got confidence, I've got oh you do?

Yeah?

I thought I'm not as so confident because I thought you forgot the name of our show.

You almost slipped in that swear that used to be in the title.

I did, I did.

I think it will be a long time before I fully immerse myself without the sweat.

We've got another cracking, drunk agony Aunt episode for you today.

I'm Keiri yoursel.

Sorry you did hear my voice earlier.

I didn't introduce myself rude, and I assure you that no one is drunk.

Kelly did try.

She offered to make us a little beverino.

But someone has to be the grown up around here, and I guess it's me.

I wasn't suggesting we sink a few bottles of red.

I really thought a weed tipple could be fun.

It is one thirty PM.

So I'm on Europe Time, pretending I'm over here being fabulous.

Yeah, but in stage just sat here with me, Suki and Al.

And you don't even like Al.

No I do.

It's just he bocks and sometimes he's a dog.

Can you tell me?

I feel like in my old age, like I used to be obsessed with dogs.

Or maybe it's just that it's been a long time since I lived with one.

I just don't think you're a dog person.

I think you pretend that you're a dog person, but I think in real life in order dog person.

Kind of like I pretended for three years of the pod that I liked cats and then suddenly likes.

People that don't like dogs.

But it's not that I don't like them.

I just don't like that they smell.

Cats don't smell.

I like that they're cute and they're friendly.

They do smell a bit.

No, cats do not cats do their litter smells cats don't.

Anyway, anyway, can you quickly tell the story about how you came to have the dog cooler, because it's quite funny and you haven't told it on the pod before.

Oh okay, so Al belonged to a girl I used to work with who was really young.

Actually, she was like twenty something.

And this is when I was at mom and Mia at one of the old officers there and it was dog friendly, so the dogs come in and I just had never met a dog like album.

He's got a huge personality.

Oh, he's just such a like cute little gentleman.

And I don't know, there was just something about him.

I was like, I don't know what possessed me.

And I went up to her and I was like, hey, if you ever need anyone to look after your dog, like I'd love to look after him.

Maybe that's the dog versus non dog person.

Yeah, And I don't even know if it was like if you ever go overseas, Like it was really weird that I even said this to her.

And anyway, like a week later, a couple of days later, she was like, hey, I've actually been thinking about moving to London, Like would you look after the dog?

And I was like absolutely, that's a very hasty decision.

Like what did Charlie think of this?

I didn't ask him obviously, So.

What I did is we living Yeah, you're living together, you.

Were living together, but he's a dog person.

He's had like a dog, always had two dogs, like always his whole life had two dogs.

So we did like a trial on a Saturday.

I must have had a conversation before the trial was Charlie, and he was so not into it.

He was like, no, we cannot get a dog, like blah blah blah.

I mean this is like we were not married, not nowhere near being.

Engaged years ago, seven eight years ago.

Yeah, seven eight years ago.

So we did the trial on the Saturday, and by Sunday Charlie had fallen in love with him.

So we took him and it was only meant to be for a year, but we reached out and just said, hey, like, you're twenty something, you've just moved to London, Like, if you feel like you want to stay on overseas, we are so happy for you to rehome him to us.

But if not, obviously we will give back your dog.

We're not going to steal the dog anyway.

And she was like, yeah, I've been thinking about that and it was a really hard decision.

It's so weird.

We live actually now, seven years later.

She lives two doors down from us, in the same neighborhood.

She doesn't listen to the pod.

She's really young.

She's younger.

Yeah, she's not gonna what about when you lost him?

That's the funniest story, right, So anyway, she gave him to us when she came back.

A couple of times she visited, and then she ended up moving back about five years later.

So she's freshly back.

Right, the dog one of our gates is broken.

I usually do not let him out without me being an earshot, you know.

Anyway, I've forgotten, and I'm like, it's really quiet.

I can't hear the jingle jangle of his collar, so I'm going, oh, oh, like, oh my god, he's lost.

It's super annoying.

Anyway, go to the side.

The gates wide open.

Someone's left it open and I had to leave to go pick up roofs.

I'm like, all right, well, he's got his collar on.

Someone's gonna call me.

I have to just hope for the best.

I've got to hope for the best.

Anyway, I get the baby rug up, walk down the stairs.

Who's the bottom of my stairs?

The previous owner holding the dog that you've neglected, And he said that I'm a negleted, saying I just found him, like I thought this is him.

He went home, though he didn't go home.

Do not say that anyway.

She had hopped off the bus and he was like down.

He always goes to this one bar because it's got an outside seat and he'll just sit up on the seat with whoever's there.

He's very fine, he's super friendly.

He doesn't go far, but he's just like, get me away from all these fucking kids.

They keep having babies.

That's pissing me off.

And I'm like anyway, So that was a bit of a loll and she looked really sad too, like as in, she really missed him.

So he is such a special dol, but we're not giving him back.

No, he's officially yours and he used to bring him out for dinner with you.

Everywhere.

He was just and he still is like just he acts like a puppy in so many ways, Like he's just a little You've just described him to make him sound so calm that he just goes to the pub and like takes the seat and people watches.

No, No, he's so funny.

He's just a busy boy.

Well it's funny because he's like nine and people literally says.

Like he's three.

Yeah, and he looks like a puppy.

So they're like, oh, how old is he?

And I'm like, who's no, and they're like, really.

Yeah, he's just young, young soul.

He is he is?

AnyWho, that's the story of how we got our picking pit.

Yeah.

Shit, I've got a moan.

I'm going to be a moaning mershal today.

Oh for a change.

No, last week I was moaning.

What was I moaning?

Bell?

I don't know.

I think that we can just have a giggle and always call our pits and moan.

Yeah.

Yeah, who's the bigger moaning myrtle of the week this week?

Probably me.

Dementia is truly the most cruel, awful thing to witness someone going through.

My grandma is just it's awful.

Is it bad?

And well, it's just it's not like it's gotten worse.

It's just that some days are worse than others.

And it's not like I live there anymore.

That was just while I was forcing her to stay alive, which worked, which worked, But so I'm not living there anymore.

So it's just a few times a week that I'll go, and I generally don't go at dinner time because sundown is anyone that knows anything about dementia Alzheimer's, it's kind of like little kids witching hour, like they're just bad at nighttime.

In fact, toddlers and people with dementia Alzheimer's very similar.

In some ways.

It hasn't been that bad.

So I was like, it's fine.

I really want to take her fish and chips for dinner because she loves fish and chips and they're still serving her slop, so I thought, I'm going to bring around fish and chips.

She was just cranky when I first got there, and it was just like, oh, she starts eating it.

She's just like I cut it all up for her, and she starts eating it with her hands and just started getting so messy.

And it just like little things like that just slowly chip away at my heart.

Because she was such a proud woman with that would never want to be messy or unclean or eating food with her fingers is just bad manners.

So she would do that.

And then at one point she opens up her top, which I have to laugh about.

You have to laugh or your fe because she's a very proud religious woman.

People do not see her areas and she's sitting there.

She opens up her as your teet is out.

She's sitting there with and I mean, when you're old, your breasts are like two socks that just a very like they sang, So it's not obvious as soon as you walk in that her top is open because the breasts are like two socks.

So at one point this man comes in to say hello to me, and he was like, oh, surey, why are your bulbs out?

And she just glares at him and like, what can you see with your eyes?

Or something that doesn't really make sense, but she's just cranky.

And then the food's just like the fish and the chips and the lemon, because she's even eating the lemon, like I don't know.

This woman weighs like forty something kidlers.

I don't know where she's putting it, but she's just eating with her hands.

It's going all over her.

There's everything all over her naked chest.

And then they bring her actual dinner and I said to them, oh, she's just had like a large fish and chips.

I don't think she's going to be eating much.

She smashes everything, but it's still just like all over her.

And I try to clean her she's getting really cranky.

She's smacking me, like my hands away, she's yelling at me.

She won't let me take the food off her because I'm like, you're going to make yourself sick.

But she was just so cranky.

And then she must have been looking at Annie Joney's funeral.

Oh, pamphlet.

Pamphlet, yeah, because it was like nearby.

And then she starts like with her filthy hands, ripping it up.

No, And I just I think at that point, like it had also been a long day, I hadn't slept the night before, I'd worked like in the city, i'd record the six pods, I was exhausted.

Yeah, and I just lost it at that point, and I'm trying to take it off her.

I'm like, please, that's not and she's going, it's garbage, and I said, it's not garbage, that's your sister, please, And I'm sobbing, and I'm please, please, don't rip that up that it's that's not rubbish.

Anyway, she's smacking me and yelling at me.

And usually she's pleasantly confused.

That's how they describe her.

So usually she's very pleasant person with dementia, but not every night with the sun tullness, and I'm like sniffling, or take Annie Joney, and I'm finally get it off her, and then I'm trying to wipe all the food and the oil from the bloody, dirty fingers off her, and then I'm putting it aside.

And it broke my heart that you get to a stage where like Annie Joney was the love of her life.

They were she lost her husband when she was in her fifties.

They've spoken about their bond before.

That's your sister, and you didn't even recognize her enough to It's just so awful.

It's awful.

It's awful.

But luckily, my sister's got my sense of humor, Gallows sense of humor.

And I called her and she just burst out laughing, and she was like, well, maybe she was just cranky that Annie Joney, like she hadn't seen her for a while.

She was like, where is she?

She's ignoring her?

Yeah, and you know, my sister just made me laugh.

But yeah, dementia's just awful.

Oh, it's so awful.

Oh, keep my peak snappy because I've just rambled moaned.

If you will, neddie, I am going to be going two nights a week tellers.

Like, I've always said I wanted to play more than one night a week because it really is my pride and joy.

But it seems like a lot to commit to.

But I've decided to make the commitment.

So what days Wednesday and Thursday night.

But the Thursday night games mixed?

I do not like mixed, so annoying.

There is a big biological difference between a man and a woman.

They're faster and bouncier, and they smell and they're hairy, and I don't mind them playing.

And that's why I'm like going out of my comfort zone to play, because it's a lot harder.

It is so much harder because they are faster and bouncer.

They're like mountain goats.

Even the ones that don't seem that fit are so much fitter anyway, So that'll be Thursday nights.

I feel like I'll much prefer Wednesday nights.

Yeah, still because with the gals with the netty gowns, now that they're outside friends, not just nitbull friends anyway, those away peek and pits.

What's yours?

Melanie Morale reporting for duty?

Oh, that's it, that's it.

That's it.

That's it.

My pit.

I can't get on top of my housework.

It doesn't feel bad.

I've seen it worse.

I literally cleaned this morning.

Feet Imagine if I was it's a disaster.

I know.

I was like hoping you were going to say something nice and notice no I couldn't even vacuum though, I had to like prioritize.

It's a mixture of like, I don't have time.

It's a mixture of I want to be out of this apartment.

It's a mixture of.

You've got two kids in a small apartment.

It's but it's also an.

Exture of like, I want to live my life.

Yes, I want to live my life.

Also as if she lets you clean, she will not get off.

Yeah, she's literal, She's just.

You.

She's staring at me with my boom and here, stop talking about me, bitch.

Anyways, that's my pit.

I don't even need to get into it.

Underlining it moving.

On, like very relatable my peak week.

I just had a really beautiful Friday with rue.

Suki was there too.

She literally just raised her hand like I'm here.

I was there.

I was exhausted.

We'd come off the back of being away for the weekend.

So we're just chasing our tail a week basically, and I just said to her, oh, shall we watch a movie together in the morning, And so we popped a movie on and watched that together, Frozen the Musical.

Then we made some lollies in the kitchen that I've been meaning to make, and then we went out just for a stroll in the neighborhood.

So we just walked around together.

We went to the playground, walked alongside the beach, and it just felt like how it was for like the first two years of her life, and it was just me and her, you know, most days, hitting the pavement in the neighborhood and having a good time.

I don't know, it just felt really special.

Yeah, and I felt like, okay, yeah, we've turned a corner.

Things are getting better, even though the other things aren't working as well, like the relayationship dynamic and even last night, like Suki, I put her down and she went to sleep in her cot.

It lasted all of forty five minutes.

Still a wink time win is a win.

Win is a win.

But because I got her down at bedtime, it meant that I could do bedtime with Rue for the first time.

In months.

Oh, that's so nice.

What books did you read?

We read, zog.

I never get to read.

I want to read my favorite books, Dog and Snail on the Wall.

I know that we read them too much, but anyway, we did that, and then it was just so nice cuddling her to sleep like I never get to do that.

Sosuki won't go to Charlie if Charlie's.

Here, No, if she's fed, she will, but usually she's waking up and wanting to feed.

So it's just yeah, anyway, things can get better.

Like just to anyone out had a baby sad about their relationship with their toddler going a little bit haywire, just know that they do kind of come back to you.

All right, it's Q and a agony.

Aren't drunk people, whatever we do, we have a name for this.

No, we will pop the link in the show notes.

If you have a dilemma or question to submit, we answer all sorts of things.

Yeah, all sorts of things.

Question one, can you both explain a bit more about the decision to take the podcast to a network?

Great question.

We have had so many questions about this and it's pretty simple really, It's that our fault Yeah, the people that are cranky about us not being an independent podcast, well, I think you'd be more cranky if the podcast didn't exist anymore.

Yeah, And I think, honestly, we had tried a few different things.

We tried doing it ourselves, trying to bring on sponsors, which we were successful at getting some on, but they just weren't as frequent as what we need in order to be able.

To pay our beautiful producer.

Yeah, but we don't pay ourselves ever exactly.

So we met with our manager, like full transparency, We met with our manager who was also having trouble doing as.

We She even couldn't sell, she couldn't be an expert.

And so we had a big conversation with her about it, and the thing about the name came up, like because obviously we used to have a swear in our name, and she said, yeah, look, when I am pitching you guys out to different brands, I am actually not mentioning the name.

So I think as soon as people are clicking through, they're obviously seeing the name, that could have a bit of an effect on it.

And it just so happened at the same time that we decided to rebrand, I saw like an opportunity at Mama Mia.

One of their shows had ended and I thought, oh, well, maybe.

They'd reached out before, and yeah, both of us have worked their shows.

I still do.

So it felt like it was good timing, organic and it was like they were really still interested in bringing us on.

And at the end of the day, it was a business decision.

We tried as long as we did for almost three years.

It has been independent, but that's almost three years as well of us not earning a dollar money, and we had some serious conversations.

It was like do we continue to do the show?

And we both feel like it's super important.

We both love the community that were built, and we thought it'd be real shame to not do the show and having not even met up once.

Yeah, I think as well.

It's because you know, I had a few people with the anonymous feedback just you know, they were disappointed about the direction the pod was going in because we'd removed the ship, and it's like, guys, you go work for free then, okay, because we have without making a dollar, we have done it for the shitters and for the community.

Yeah, and we have, and we love the shop.

We love doing it and the thing about going to a network.

We've still got full eyep the content.

We haven't had any restrictions around the content.

Exactly like they love the pod.

Yeah, nothing else is going to change.

You're just hearing some ads occasionally, and just know that that's keeping food on our table.

Not yet, but hopefully, hopefully, hopefully all right.

Question two, how to deal with constantly rejecting family and friends invitations for dinner out because the baby will already be sleeping for the night ten months old?

Should we just take the baby and hope that he sleeps in the prem Both of us have such different I know, I know, I think I'm more pragmatic.

Is that the right word?

Like?

Where a brutal black and white?

I would say, we just.

Have different different ways of doing it.

I would just explain that this is just a season, that it's not always going to be like this, that you really appreciate the invitation, but could you try a different time, Like does it have to be a dinner that's you know, seven eight o'clock at night?

Like can we do an early dinner somewhere?

Could we do a late lunch?

Could you host if you felt up to it?

Could you host?

Because then the baby could sleep in their own bed.

You don't have to host and cook, you just hosting everyone, but eat so pizza.

I don't know why you both need to go take it in terns.

Someone stay at home with the baby and then you take it in turns, Like why do you both need to go so surely that they're more your family or more your friends, or they're your partner's family or friends like someone side.

It's on even when you share everyone.

Like if I invited you and Charlie out for dinner and both of you couldn't come, would you be like, well, she's more my friend?

Yeah?

Yeah, do you know what I mean?

Like?

Why do you both need to go?

That just seems Yeah?

I get that.

Also, if you were going to try the pram sleeps, try it at home before you go, and if the baby does love a pram sleep, then there you go.

But I like the idea of you guys taking turns.

That's one I didn't even think of.

Question three.

Yes, I think my friend's partner is cheating?

Should I tell them?

Kelly?

I don't know.

My first instinct is just no, Yeah, I get involved.

I think it's hard without context really to give advice on something like I think at the end of the day, yeah, even if you know it's tricky, Like I would consider how sure you are, do you have proof?

Did you see them at a cold Play concept?

Did you see them on a big screen in a cold Play concert?

Also, how serious is the relationship that they're in, Is it new or are they facto slash married?

Are their kids or assets involved?

And then I think the most important thing to think about in the scenario is how will this affect your friendship?

Like is this friend the type of person to accept this information and be thankful that you're giving them a heads up, or do you risk losing the friendship because I think sometimes although you want to tell someone something, I think sometimes it's better to.

You're doing Are you doing it for you or them?

And I think sometimes riding the wave and supporting them on the journey to getting there and then just making sure that you're there basically the end of it to pick up the pieces because you will be that person.

But it's a really tricky thing to navigate if you're sure.

What I would do is I'd approach the partner and say.

That's great advice.

Actually, you're a dick, like you tell her or yah, you tell her right now, or I will, And they're always going to tell because they don't want that information to come from anyone else.

That is the advice, Kelly.

You bang on with that.

Thanks only if you're sure, though, Yeah.

Exactly, like I think.

No question number four, I don't know if I should quit my job or not.

Can you both share experiences of quitting or choosing to stay.

I'm really conflicted.

There is something so annoying to me about people that winge about their job consistently.

Oh just stop stop working, stop winging, stop whinging.

It's boring and what's the point of it.

What I always say to someone that's a little bit on the fence, have a calendar of a month, and for the next thirty days or so, I want you to put like a smiley face or a face or a sad face at the end of each day relating to how you feel about work.

And then at the end of that month you can weigh up were there more good days or bad days?

Oh?

I love this, Then that will help you make your decision, Like I mean if, because that's also a longer period of time.

It's not just that you've had a bad week or you've had a bad meeting with someone, that will sort of would sway your decision if it's about Hey, often you will.

Unfortunately, I don't know why companies do this, but you will get more pay if you go somewhere else.

I'm always like, isn't it more expensive in HR fees, in recruitment, in like someone not being in that position?

The just giving someone a twenty k pay rise for goodness sake, just give it to them.

But for some reason companies don't, And especially when it's a good person, like a long standing employee, just give them a consistent pay rise and benefits and they will stay and continue to do a good job.

But if you're, say a banker, and you're always winging about your job, is it really going to be that much different in the same role but at a different company.

Yeah, it's not.

You're still going to have the same problems.

You might just have one less dickhead, but you know what, another one will come across, because there's always people that you don't like in workplaces.

Yeah.

Absolutely, I just think, yeah, the calendar and just see more about how you feel.

I have definitely left it longer than I should have in a lot of cases for quitting because I'm quite an emotional person and I want to stay because I I just get really ingrained in the culture.

I've made a lot of friends through work, especially living in a different state.

That's been like a really great thing for me to make friends.

So I usually wouldn't leave until I have another job lined up, So that would probably be my only advice.

And I don't know why, but it's astronomically easier to get a job.

When you have a job, I think you're less desperate as well, which I think sometimes taking a job out of desperation sometimes it is needed because the need to paid bills.

But if you are in a job, you're able to look with a little bit less stress.

And I feel like your judgment's a bit better too, because the worse thing is is leaving somewhere that you love and going somewhere that you hate, because then all you think about is going back to that other place.

Exactly and your friends that you had.

Yeah, I agree, I've stayed at places way longer than I should career wise, Like, yeah, if there was nowhere for me to go, or I didn't enjoy the work or just maybe if I was a bit stunted.

But I actually don't regret any of them though, because I stayed there because the friendships so paramount and I still have the friendships.

Yeah, there's something to be said.

I think about staying in a job that isn't so bad, but you're there for the people.

But on the flip side of that, I do think, no, you're worth yeah, and consider all aspects of everything when you're leaving.

If you think about how much time you spend working, So if it's making miserable when you're wining about all the time, well that's your answer.

And also think about different seasons for hiring.

Typically like don't quit at the end of the severer if you don't have annual leave that will get paid out.

Or whatever, like or at the end of our financial year because people.

Are busy exactly, be like strategic.

And when you're gonna quit, like quit, I don't know, March maybe so good to come to quit.

That's quite a while from It is a.

While away, but like consider all of that, like get through Christmas and New Year, very busy, expensive periods, but you've got that guaranteed holiday so you can spend with your family, friends, loved ones, whatever.

And you've also got a little bit more leniency when you've been somewhere for a while.

So yeah, you know, oh, Christmas party might be in a little bit like the next day or like you've got more laneancy, Whereas when you're at a new job, it's like you've got to be in your best behavior all the time exactly.

So just think about that kind of stuff.

But yeah, good luck.

Question number five, my ten month old doesn't want to be with her auntie and uncle.

How do I have her be more independent?

Or should I just wait until she's ready?

Also, what to do when my siblings, the auntie and the uncle aren't very involved in my baby's life.

Lenn was so similar.

He is still so similar about being left with people.

But I was a little bit confused because I'm like the auntie and uncle, your siblings are offering to take care of your kid, but they don't want to be very involved in your baby's life.

That doesn't really make sense.

Yeah, maybe they haven't been up until this point, and maybe this is the first goal of I mean, your baby's ten months old.

It is a lot to leave a ten month old baby with someone.

Especially if they don't have kids exactly.

Yeah, that's I mean, it's not if they've already got kids fly two.

But like, I think that that does come into play.

And I think the same thing with the dads.

Like the dads all like the non primary parent, they're useless in the first year.

Like they do help to some extent, but you were kind of that main person.

So and you've got to ask for help.

Like a lot of people, if they don't have kids, they don't realize.

I'm assuming that they don't have kids and that's why they're not very involved or have an offered or whatnot.

But I just think that maybe you haven't asked because and then they're not mind readers and they've never had kids that they don't know.

Yeah, exactly, so tell them be like, guys, I really would have liked if you showed a little bit more of an interest or offered to help out a little bit more.

But also just a little little periods of time.

It doesn't have to be like an extended yeah, but like an hour or two here and there.

If that's going to benefit you, absolutely.

Like do it.

Our next question is I'm pregnant with my first baby and look for baby name in spoke.

I love this game.

What are baby names you loved but didn't use?

Oh Mo for a boy?

Hey, don't fucking laugh, because if we had another baby, that would probably be the name.

Doesn't mean Lester wouldn't make fun of little baby Mo.

Mo.

It's so cute.

Don't you just think of a mustache.

The thing that put me off was Mo from the Simpsons The Bartender.

I was like, it's a bit weird.

I really love the name Tilda t I ld a t lu Swanson, just like one of my favorite actresses, and I thought that was like, very cute.

But I could never have it because our friend's kid is called Matilda and obviously it's like too close.

Disagree, But moving on my absolute favorite boy's name ever, which would have been the name we would have had, but Charlie's best friend has the same kid and they weren't like super keen on sharing names.

We kind of tested the waters.

It's our favorite name.

The name of my favorite singer Otis.

I love Day.

I would love to still use that.

I always say, if you really love your friends, your kids friend's name, like unless it's your best friend or your sibling.

Just do it, I know, and we live in It's a name who cares, even if you're best friends and you've both got like if I had a Suki, you have a sua who cares.

Things was like, I know so many Alicees and Sarah's and Emma.

Who cares.

I know, it's become such a thing.

She stole my baby name.

No she didn't.

She just liked the same name.

You know what, you didn't name siblings the same name exactly.

My sister in law was so funny because I loved the name Margot and I was like, oh, Gem, I'm so jealous that you guys named your daughter Margo.

And she's like, oh, just name yours Margot.

I don't care.

And I was like, jem Margo Cels would be too Margo Cels.

And she's like, oh yeah.

All right.

Maybe we're the cousins.

It's a bit much.

But I used like if you're not close, But I was like, I can't, like, you're only family in Sydney.

Likes I'm raising our kids together like one's gonna have.

To and it's not like a smith.

It's like yeah, you know, But I just thought she is like the extremes, right, some people really can.

And then she's just.

Like, oh, it's like me like we just could not get too hoots.

Like I had so many people message me like that they love the name Lenny Liam, like use it go on, it's a great name.

Yeah, our other girl name.

So this is actually what it came down to with Suki.

And I actually can't even believe I'm going to share it because I had a wig out and was like wanted to change Suki's name.

Oh I remember, because I was just.

Like, ok, it was it because I kept calling her silk.

Well no, it was like, so this name Charlie really liked and I really liked Suki.

And then we both went to sleep and we woke up in the morning and we both liked the other opposite name.

So he was like one hundred percent on Suki and I was like one hundred percent on b B e A.

I love b Wait.

Is this when she was alive or not alive out of the womb but still not named because that was how long.

Was It was like a week week and a half.

But we were calling her like we have had one day and would call her bee one day.

Yeah she does she also looks like a suki.

I mean, I love her name.

Like, the thing was, it was like, we're choosing between two really beautiful names.

Brew might be a little bit like I don't know.

Well, what it came down to was b was like, it has this beautiful meaning, be a trix.

It's like bringer of happiness, which was like really touching for us.

But because Rue means regret, we thought that that was a bit unfair.

To day that is eldest child law right there.

Rue got regret or gets bringing late in love.

And Charlie couldn't get over it.

He was like, nah, that's too mean, and I was just like, I don't think it's that mean.

But it's Funny's gonna have it.

She's already so funny.

She's gonna have a really good sense of Yes.

She will.

She will.

So those were our, yeah, our final names.

And there is one name, but I won't tell it just in case we do have a boy.

Well, do you know what I'm willing to do today?

What I'm willing to share my name?

No fucking way.

You know what it is?

Yeah, I know what it is.

I've never shared it publicly because there was always that little part of me.

Because I fully closed that door.

Yeah, and I think me, I think I'll be sixty and they'll still be like an inch of the door open.

But I think that me sharing my baby name for a girl.

I've always wanted a little daughter.

Yeah, which I can't see you with a girl now.

Oh, I know i'd have two.

And boys, you're such a boy.

I'm such a boy mum.

And it like I get farted on all day.

I don't get to color.

I get to do all the fun stuff with all of my friends beautiful daughters.

Yeah, and I'd be poor if I had a daughter.

They would be wearing a really cute outfit every single day, different outfit.

But you're gonna laugh so much at this.

What I've got a little sticker book of that I bought one day at the shop with my baby girl name wanted just in case stopid.

And I've got like a cute few.

This is so embarrassing to ad me.

I've got a few little outfits that i'd also just bought for her just in case one day.

But my baby girl name is Poppy Joy.

It's such a cute name.

Joy is my nanny's middle name.

I wasn't going to call her Shirley Shirley Joy.

And I just think that Joy is the best middle name ever.

I like, it's a great first name.

It's also a great first name, but like, you bring joy, You've bought so much joy to my life.

So I really wanted to carry that through to a little girl and have Poppy Joy.

And I just love the name Poppy.

It's so cute, such a good name.

That's actually what Georgie, Charlie's sister was going to be called Poppy.

It was between like Poppy and Georgie.

I love it.

And then this is my lame, little little sticker book.

Lenny was like when I pulled these out for the recording, I had them and then he was like, oh, stick as, I said, don't touch them.

They're for your sister.

Anyway, if anyone has a Poppy and we'd like, no, actually, I'm gonna keep it, just as there was a dream once upon a time to have a little girl and someone else call your Oh now look at me getting upset about it.

Now someone else call your daughter Poppy Joy.

Because it's a fantastic name.

I literally have the longest list of baby names that I didn't use because I love names, but maybe I'll just like post it as one of those fun shaable things ones.

I love doing my extended list too, because I've got that on my phone.

Let's do it, because that's actually really helpful for people.

So we'll do that, and so I won't run through them now.

Also, he's going to have a real hoot at some of them.

Yeah, you're you've I had really random names, and I'm like, really, Palma for a boy, that was Arnold Palmer.

The drink weird.

I've never heard of that.

What it's like an American drink.

It's like spritened.

Okay.

I think some of my boy names are pretty funny, like Ford and Declan.

Ocean was also for Declar.

You're just saying it in an American accent.

But like my girls' names, I think I think people would really froth on all right.

Next question question seven?

How can I best support a girlfriend absolutely in the trenches with postpartum depression?

I live ninety minutes away and her fridge is always stopped with food from family, So anything else that I can help with?

A cleaner, Oh great, I book a cleaner whenever you can afford it, just to turn up at her house that's c or get a few friends to maybe chip in, because even though her family's got all of the food and fridge stocked sorted, it's just something to like get that mental load off her and just to help out.

And also a clean house helps with your mind frames so much when things are really dirty and messy mind messy life exactly exactly.

And I think, as you're about to say, just have something recurring, like a phone call.

Always just call her, Like if you know that she takes a walk every day, caller, she doesn't pick up, she doesn't pick up.

Call he again, Yeah, just she knows that you're always just a phone call away.

Just make that time to chat to her on the phone.

Yeah, And I think like living ninety minutes away, having it in person, catch up once a month in the calendar when you're actually going to see her, But just make it really easy, Hey, I'm going to come over.

Or if she's like me and doesn't want to be in her house, hey let's go out, like kind of up the meeting with something that's going to be enjoyable and manageable.

It's not gonna be hard or feel overwhelm.

Yeah, and just say like, Hey, the first thing I'm gonna do is I'm gonna get there in the morning with a coffee for you, you go out for a half an hour walk, I'll take the baby, and then we'll hang out for the rest of the day.

But like, that's a really kind of nice way to frame it.

I know, like when I had that terrible, terrible couple of weeks recently, and Lucy just the next day came over and just took Suki out for.

A war boning.

Myrtled her out of the house.

And she just went out for a little walk with her, and then Suki fell asleep on her and I was just able to breeze through work and it was so incredibly helpful.

So yeah, I think loved Kelly's suggestions.

But also, just like I know that I'm getting really lonely at the moment.

Don't just be like how are you?

Because she probably feels like she's not doing anything or doesn't have anything to offer to a conversation.

So sort of help fill that whole bite, call her up, fill her in on the gossip.

Yeah, do things fill a plot simply so she's got stories to hear from.

You Also, look at things that are on.

Like I know it was a birthday present that I did with Lucy the ring making course, but I think as a like as a busy mum at home, I just don't have the time to like know what's happening.

Like I was so devastated to know that Nicki Blaser was here because one of my favorite comedians had an idea.

Lucy would have turned up with tickets and John to babysit and being like, I'm taking you out to see Nikki Glacier and I'm like, I'm going to this really funny comedian tonight.

And I was like, bitch, I didn't even know, but look for something like that and be like, hey, do you want to go to this?

Like it doesn't have to be every month, but like just little things like that that are little treats where you get to hang out as friends and that she can look forward to, plan ahead and.

Just get it incited for just feel a means Oh, I love I love the quote.

That's not a quote, it's like another meme where it's You're annoyed by the thirty memes that I sent you today that was thirty times I thought of you.

It's so true.

It's so true.

It's so see if.

She doesn't watch them, just keep sending them to her, because sometimes you'll be in a bit of a meme vortex and exactly.

Yeah, Okay, so question number eight.

My best friend is hating on my daughter.

She's twenty six, she lives at home, and she's only recently started her first job, and I've had enough she's always putting her down.

I love my daughter and realize that sometimes she does take advantage of me, but I don't need to hear it from my friend.

Oh, just get rid of her.

The daughter.

The friend disagree, I'm joking.

I think you obviously just need to have a conversation with her about boundaries and how she's talking about your kid.

Say like, hey, I appreciate that you were really so much I loved yeah, and you care about me and you want to stick up for me in the situation.

But there is a bit of a line there, because I'm still obviously madly about my daughter and lover to bits.

I think the friend is probably looking like she's forgetting that it's your daughter because she's a grown up.

She's looking at her just as a grown up that's taking advantage of you rather than your child.

You can bitch about your daughter if she's annoying you, sponging off you, but your friend can't.

And it's setting expectation, right, So you can say to her, Hey, I want to tell you something about Sarah, but I actually don't need any advice.

I just need you to listen.

Yeah, and like setting the intention because you also don't want to lose out on.

Being able to talk to her.

Yeah, but you don't need her to give any feedback or she needs to really say in that situation is like, that's really shit.

I think all you need to do is have a comm She's your best friend.

You should be able to have any conversation with her.

Just say, babe, it's really like it's hurting my feelings.

I made her make it light even just yeah, it's like stop, just like.

I just wish just say like, hey, I'm just a bit I'm actually weirdly a bit like sensitive around Yeah, like I don't really want to hear shit, like I know, I just need you to be there to support me without putting her down.

Agree question nine.

I'm so ridiculously envious of people that have family support.

We have zero any advice for not comparing.

I feel like it's eating away at me key and.

I could write a book about this because we don't have any advice.

We are so green eyed monster about people that have family support and people around, like we're filthy jealous of people, and we bitch about people that winge so that my mom was busy and couldn't watch my kid.

Oh, must be nice to have a mum around the corner just to watch a kid whenever you want your complainer.

So yeah, we've included this question simply to say we are with you in solidarity of feeling filthy jealous.

I do have some advice on the envy thing, and I think for me, how I try to think about it is that like, unfortunately, this is the card that I've been dealt, that we've been dealt.

I should say, like, we don't live close to family.

We do have my beautiful brother and sister in law that live here, and we've also got.

Little kids, so it's no, it's different.

There isn't the tired parents.

There's something or even non retired parents.

There's something about that, and.

It is really hard.

But the reality is is like that situation is not going to change for me.

What I can do is I can not let that envy affect my relationship with my friends.

So like, for instance, one of my friends, she has her mother in law comes one day a week and her mum comes one day a week, and whenever she talks to me about it, she feels sorry and the need to apologize, And I said, don't apologize.

It's like you are so there for me and supporting me, and I don't want that to be weird between us.

Don't apologize for having the help that you have.

I think that the only time it's really annoying is if someone doesn't realize that they're very lucky for having that.

But yeah, like, don't apologize for having help.

That's it's not your fault that you would dealt that hand, because yeah, everyone has things pros and cons in their life.

But what I think about and God willing obviously, like it's hard to be able to say that this would be definitely the case because no one knows what's going to happen.

But I think I try to think about when Suki and Ru have kids and I'm just going to be there all the time, like annoying will be annoying, Like I try to just think about that, like that's not going to be my experience this time, but I'm going to be there for the girls when they go through it, if they go through it.

So I think that keeps me quite positive about it and just knowing like it's more meaningful to me to know that we are doing it and we're doing it by ourselves, not that it matters in any however much help anyone has, but I don't know, there is a proudness that comes to know, like even though it's not easy, and like I would obviously want it to be a lot easier, I do feel proud that we to know that we're actually doing it by ourselves as well, So there's something in that to be celebrated and acknowledged to it.

And also it's okay that you feel jealous.

I just wanted to acknowledge that this last weekend, our friends.

I message to our friends that live around the corner, it's like, Hey, on a Sunday night, do you guys want to go to the pub for dinner tonight?

Like we take all of the kids to the pub and then we sit and have a nice meal and have a drink and laugh while the kids play so cute, and they were like, Oh, we're going to see Jurassic World.

Do you guys want to come if you get a sitter.

We're like, I was with my sister at the time, and she goes, oh, I can come over and watch you, And I said, I'm not using a babysitter token.

I can't ask you that often.

You've got your own kids.

I'm not using it to go watch Jurassic World.

That's literally me and Charlie.

We saw the adver it and we're like, oh, we.

Really want to go.

Okay, well, if you really want to go, I will come and watch the girls.

Well you go.

Try not to let it eat up at you, as Key said, but we totally feel you.

Oh, totally envious.

It's just it sucks.

Last question for the episode.

Are you too feuding?

Yes?

Yes, we cannot stand each other.

That is the secret when you're close like siblings.

Dude, when you work with someone you spend so much time with.

Yeah, and you know, I actually have all day every day.

You don't have the time for the nice cities?

Is that what the word is?

I don't say hello when I pick up the phone, do I know?

And I don't say hello.

When I arrive.

I literally walked in going I've had a shit morning or something, and then in your sullivan could go, wi, then you can tell.

Me about it.

So no, we're not feuding.

We're not at all, which is probably less polite than we were because we know each other, we.

Talk, we know each other more than we thought we did.

Yeah, which is kind of nice.

I've seen a nipples for seventy percent of today.

Yeah, sorry about no, It's all right.

They're beautiful.

They're feeding this little chunky little clang and chow cute.

Well, on that note, shit is another episode done?

Another episode done, and just it next week.

You're in for a real treat because it is the question that everyone has been asking, both myself and Kei for the past few months.

Yeah, what's everyone want to know about?

What do they want to know about?

Am I or am I not?

Oh?

My god?

Yes.

When I told Keith that, I was like, I'm ready, We'll do an episode, she was like, yes, Yes, on Kelly's body, find out all next week?

All right.

This episode was produced by us Kelly mccaren and Carrie Cells, and auto production by the Glorious Maddie Shoe, who has to edit our unhinged yapping every week.

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