We acknowledged the traditional custodians of the land we were recording on today.

No way, no way, Kelly.

You can't make this stuff up.

There's no reason why someone would submit something that wasn't the truth.

That is unhinged.

Hello, and welcome to eat Sleep Repeat.

This is the podcast about the madness that is motherhood and everything in between.

And I'm Kelly McCarran.

And I'm Key re Cels and I wish I had better news, but I didn't actually have a sleep last night.

My baby started solids.

I think I gave her too many solids and too much milk and she had a big old bomb everywhere.

So that was what my night was like last night.

Oh no, Well, I have a little quick tale to tell you that I think we'll cheer you up.

I just have to tell someone about it.

Do you know the actor kJ Appa?

Yes, yeah, the Redhead guy.

Yeah, he's a New Zealand dreadhead actor.

He stars in that Riverdale show.

Yeah, that's the most.

Niche, ridiculous, funny thing.

He has created, like a random TikTok account with a completely different character.

Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, the alias.

Oh have you seen this?

Yeah?

Yeah, Oh my goodness.

But he's got like a British accent, really bad fake teeth, and a wig.

And the only reason that people have put two and two together is because his tattoos are quite same distinctive.

I don't know if it's for an upcoming project or if he, as a TikTok commenter said, is just perfectly using free will.

It is so funny.

I just love that sort of ridiculous niche Huma.

It reminds me of this time that I found my cousin on Instagram and he made me swear never to tell anyone.

I really hope none of my family members listen to this podcast because it's still not our years later that he had like a random alias on Instagram and it was so funny, which I love.

Reminded me of the Crazy Friday I had a couple of weeks ago, but I never got to speak about it.

I don't know why.

But I went to an event for Thanks to Nature, who are just like my favorites.

They have this best curl balm Kelly.

I know you love them too.

Oh my gosh, really great affordable ham bodillies.

Yeah, it's a beautiful event.

They were launching some new body care, very slick operation.

We're there for an hour, we have a very quick overview of the products, and then we went down for the treatment.

So we've come out of the hotel suite and we're going to the lifts to go down to like the treatment rooms.

This beautiful girl walks towards me and cutches my eye because she's in full glam and a white suit at like eight am in the morning.

Oh.

We get in to the lift altogether, and I'm like, oh my god, that's Simone Biles, I know, yeah, And so I'm just grinning at her because I'm so excited to.

See her as in the Goat.

Yeah, as in the Goat.

So anyway, I'm just like grinning.

I can't believe my luck.

We're getting in the lifts to go down to the treatment room, which is in the basement, and I think because we all got in together, they must have assumed that we were going to the lobby, but we did it, and we're going down to the basement.

Anyway, the basement doors open, and who do you reckon standing to get into the lift?

Fifty cent and his bodyguard.

You what what what?

I know?

It was the craziest morning, We're like, oh my god, hi, who are you with.

I'm with like a few other like press people and creators.

It was probably like four of us, and then a brand person and a PR person and it was just all of us were just in shock.

Okay, okay, okay, hold on, did you say anything to the goat?

No?

No, no, no, no no.

She's up at eight am and full glam.

I didn't feel like she wanted me to talk to her, and I just felt like breathing the same air that she was breathing was enough for me.

It was I didn't even know that she was in Australia.

I didn't even know that.

I mean, why would I?

But well then I went to her Instagram and it was like she'd been here for days, so I didn't even realize and staying at the Langham.

Staying at the Langham random, I know.

But anyway, so wait, what was fifty cent doing?

He had just been working out because in the basement where the treatment rooms are was also where the gymmers.

So the celebs stay at the Langham.

I guess, so I guess.

So well, those can be our toddler lols of the week because gosh, we love to gas.

Their celebrity lolls.

Your celebrity lolls.

Let's move on to Peek and Pitt.

Would you like to take it away this week?

Yeah, queen, everything's through to shit.

I was probably already not in a fantastic mood because I've got a cold, I've got my period when I had a really annoying conversation on the weekend, and why are you giggling?

I just can't wait to hear what it was about.

I love that you were already giggling at me.

I'm out at this thing, at this event, and there was a friend of a friend of a friend, so there's no relation.

Like, I doubt I will ever see her in my entire life again.

And I also, before someone thinks, because I'm about to bitch, before someone's like, oh, what if she listens to this podcast?

Is no chance show me that the only podcast she's ever listened to was one episode about renovating at one point in time, and anyway, there's no chance that she is going to listen to this.

And if she does, you know what, well, at least I didn't say it to her face.

We're out and about and I'm making some conversation.

She was a lovely girl.

But we're just chatting and I'm sort of, you know, one of those conversations where it's a little bit like pulling teeth, you know what I mean, Like the conversation isn't running really easily, really smoothly.

There's no banter.

It's just me sort of trying to get information out of you while you sit there, kind of like an interrogation, I guess.

Anyway, I said, trying to talk to her and find out what she does and whatnot.

And she's not working at the moment.

She's got two small kids under five at home, and she's telling me that when they were discussing having a family, her partner now husband made it very clear to her that he didn't want anyone else bringing up their children, so that she would stop working while they were little to raise them.

And she's saying it that they're just so privileged because she is able to do that and he owns enough money that she can.

But my initial reaction is, well, that's all well and good for him to say, But then was it an option that he would be the one to stay at home with the babies and the small children if he was so adamant that no one else would be raising them, Like, if you wanted it to be a primary caregiver, was he an option?

Like?

I was getting a sense she was quite a submissive, sensitive person, and I certainly, you know, I know that I can be a bit abrasive, but I would never intentionally want to hurt someone's feelings.

I just wanted to question it a little bit and get her to think about it.

And she said, oh no, well he earns more money than me.

I'm like eye rolling and thinking about every other excuse of why that doesn't actually mean that much, right, you know.

And I'm not saying any of it out loud because we're at a function.

It was a nice event and we were having a nice time anyway.

But then she's sort of saying that she drives past a daycare, and some time times she'd be driving past at five point thirty pm and she can see people lining up to get their kids, and she just feels so sorry for them and so sorry for the kids because other people are raising them, and she's just so lucky that she doesn't have to work.

Oh okay, I could not believe that I was having to have this conversation and make someone think about what they were saying in twenty twenty five, and all, well and good that you don't have to work.

That is a wonderful privilege, and if you didn't want to work, that's great, But it also sounds like you didn't have much of a say in it.

It sounds like your husband just chose that for you.

But I just was very frustrated by the conversation, and then I was frustrated at myself because I thought, are you just being really judgmental?

And I was just irritated, and I left not long after because I just thought I just couldn't be bothered listening to the trot that was coming out of this girl's mouth.

So I just left.

Anyway, It's not really a pear.

It just really irritated me, and I wanted to know your thoughts.

Well, it's that whole trad wife thing, right, It's this man who is enforcing traditional gender roles to the extreme.

It shouldn't be about whether or not you earn enough money for her to not work.

It's how we're going to structure our family so that you can do the things that you want to do.

Like, of course, if she wanted to do that, and that was a discussion and they both came to that conclusion together, then do your thing, like live your life.

But it reminds me of the Ballerina farm check how the New York Times did that big sit down because she was kind of like at the height of her fame and did that big sit down with her, and they just noticed how the husband answered when the journalists would be asking questions, and it was like, hang on, I'm not here to interview you, sir, I'm here to interview the chick, like that's what we're here for.

But she would almost defer to him to answer questions things like that, like, look, that isn't how the relationship that I would want to be in.

But afterwards, after this New York Times peace came out, there was like all of this uproar, basically because this journalist had said that he was super controlling and that she didn't have any saying what was going on, and it was clear that he ran everything, but she was just the face of it.

And she turned around and was like, no, that's not true at all.

That's our relationship and I'm comfortable with that.

So if someone is in a situation like that, and like this woman was in the person that you had this conversation where is obviously making comments based off of her experience, and I think it is a little bit always like the grass is always greener, you know, Like she feels sorry for those people who are picking up their kids at five thirty.

I'm sure those parents don't want to, but it's out of necessity, right, But I'm sure those people also don't want to spend seven days a week, twenty four hours a day with their kids, Like I look forward to Monday to Thursday so I can have a little break and arrest.

You know.

Holidays are very tiring.

Any holiday with my with my toddlers, very tiring because I'm out of practice.

So even though she's saying it in that way, she probably doesn't like she doesn't mean to offend, but there's no perfect setup.

There is no perfect setup.

I think it just took me off guard.

Anyway.

My peak key resells it is spring.

Spring has sprung, its sprung, and it really has.

It really has, Like even though Daylight Savings hasn't kicked in yet, the mornings feel lighter, the afternoons feel lighter.

It already feels so much warmer, unlessen, I know that we're probably just having a season or hot week or whatnot, but oh gosh, I love like all of the spring fashion that's coming out.

Oh goodness, it just makes me so happy.

The other day, I picked up Lend from daycare with my roller blades on.

Luke was absolutely mortified, but I just thought, you know what, why not spring has sprung.

At one point, he did have to chase me down the street like an errant toddler that's lost their way because I did, my breaks weren't working.

Probably I couldn't figure out how to stop, and I was downhill going into oncoming traffic.

So Luke is chasing me down a street and then had to capture me around the waist as if I was a toddler.

And anyway, I've just been really enjoying this weather, even though I don't even know if I've got a cold anymore, if it's just hay fever.

But I will start taking some hay fever medicine because my allergies do play up a little bit at this timmy year.

But nice weather, Oh my goodness, it really lifts you out of a funk, doesn't it.

Yeah, it's strange.

I've noticed how shiny everything is, Like I don't know if I've ever been this aware of a spring before.

And I wonder if it's because we had that bout of non stop rain, at least in Sydney.

The wettest month.

Yeah, it was like days of straight rain, and I wonder if it's because it came at the end of winter.

It just kind of made everything feel a bit more drawn out anyway.

So I've noticed, actually this spring in particular, how much brighter and I don't know, happier and lighter that everything seems.

So I'm on board with that cal great peak.

What are yours?

So my pit this week was to preface it.

I had for the last two months been planning a surprise dinner birthday dinner for Charlie for his turning thirty five.

So it was a bit of a milestone.

And I've had a couple of shitty years and we've been in a funk, and you know, just one more thing to add to my list of things to do.

I really wanted to do something special for him, just to kind of lift his spirits because he does so much for me, And I sent out a little save the date a couple of months ago and found a venue one of our favorite cafes in our neighborhood, who don't usually do a dinner menu, but I knew that they had done some private dinners before and to her and she's obsessed with Charlie, like we're really good friends with her, and so she did like a full dinner menu and all of that.

Anyway, so I had all of this prepared, and I'd organized for his sister and his dad and his new nephew to fly in and be a part of the surprise party.

And it was like us with fifteen of his closest friends.

Anyway, I had been working over time, and I had Thursday was my day right at Westfield.

I was getting all of the presents, getting the grog for the party, all of the stuff.

So I was like on a grog that's a very Queensland.

Oh yeah, it comes out.

But I was getting basically like Thursday was my day for everything because Friday night was the party.

I actually had a job on Friday.

I had to go to an event and get some content and stuff.

So Thursday was my big day.

I was taking the baby, you know, I was going to be sleep training her in the prem like everything was going swimmingly.

We have a bite to eat and have some sushi, give her her solids that I prepared.

Anyway, around like three pm, I've done all of that.

I'm one way to pick up Route early from daycare, and then I'm starting to feel really ill, like really ill, and I'm thinking, oh, that's a bit weird, Like, I guess I haven't had that much water today.

So I had more water.

But by the time Charlie got home at seven, so three till seven, that little amount of time, I went completely downhill.

I was so nauseous.

By the time he got home.

I had to go to bed.

I was like, I can't actually cannot do anything.

I had heated up Rue's No, I hadn't even heated up her food because we got home.

The reason I picked up Rout early was so we could wrap all of the presents and set up like the Happy Birthday for the morning, so that she could be a part of it.

And we got through that, and I was like, I can't give you dinner.

Let's go and sit in front of the TV.

He got home at about seven.

I cannot feed you.

I can't feed you.

So we got home at seven and I just offloaded everyone and I went upstairs and yeah, the only thing I'd had to eat that day was sushi, and I got it.

It's a place that I go all the time.

Okay, well, you won't be anymore, will you.

Well, this is the first time I've ever been sick from it.

I was so upset because I was just so sick, so sick, I was nauseous.

I only vomited once, but my stomach was burning, and it sucked because I didn't feel better until Tuesday.

No, so you felt sick the whole birthday party.

The whole birthday party, the whole week, and I had all these other surprises planned, and I just felt so sick the whole time that I had to like dip out of like a lot of stuff.

And I just felt really robbed because.

I thought, no, I get it.

I get feeling robbed in that situation.

And Charlie was like, Babe, it's fine, Like, well, it's just me and you going out to dinner tonight, like let's just stay in, and I'm like, we fucking can't because I'm planned a surprise party.

I didn't tell him that, but I'm thinking, like, yeah, in any other circumstance, I would absolutely be not going out to dinner for your birthday.

But when there's two months of planning and all these people have made an effort to come and you'll I just love that.

I have no idea though.

No.

I was like, no, it's fine with Suki going with you guys.

No.

So I'll now move on to my peak, which was that I pulled off the best surprise party that has ever been planned.

Well, I mean for me anyway.

So he worked from home on Friday, which was lovely.

I couldn't go to the event that I had to go to because I was like so sick.

Thank god he worked from home on Friday, because when I was thinking I was gonna vomit, I hadn't needed to vomit.

He could hold the baby, but I still had to go and drop the grog off.

So I like healed myself out at midday and when he did so, this is the funniest thing, right, I had a job for the retailer and I was meant to go to the event and highlight their spring launches that were happening.

So I said to him, Oh, yes, it's all good, Like, they totally understand, but I still need to go in store and pick up the stuff to create my content.

Not true.

So I went and got the alcohol, dropped it off, came back and then I had told him we were going to this restaurant called Olympus, which is a great restaurant, a new one in Sydney, which I've actually bent to for my birthday, and I told him all about it.

He really wanted to go and had my niece coming over to babysit, and so she came over quickly, did a little run through, and then we were on our way, and so we're driving and he's like, do you need me to put the maps up?

And I'm like, oh, no, no, I know where I'm going.

He's like okay, cool, And apparently he was like in his seat and he was saying this to me.

He's like, oh, He's texting his friend Andy, who was at the restaurant waiting for him to arrive, being like, hey.

Family and friends as well.

Yeah, everyone was.

There from Brisbane.

Everyone was there.

So he was like texting Andy being like, mate, I'm on my way to Olympus now with key, like give me some recommendations and he was just like so excited just to go to dinner with me, and I'm.

Just like, oh, bless him.

You are not going to believe what I've got fucking planning anyway.

So he had been a bit sad about something, just a friend who had been sick, and he was just like, oh, sorry if I was a bit sad today, and I'm like, oh, that's fine, but look, I really want to cheer you up.

And one of your presents actually did arrive later than I expected, was actually at our apartment.

So I pushed back.

I told so many lies and and it came so easily.

I was a little bit worried at the press, but I said to him, hey, I've actually pushed the reservation back.

They said I could push it back to eight because I wanted to go and grab this present because I think it's going to like cheer you up.

And also we can just go to the restaurant a little bit early and have a cocktail.

In the bar.

He's like, oh, okay, cool random.

I'm like, yeah, but we need to park because it's quite big, so I need you to come into the house and get it.

Anyway, So we parked our car park and then we'd get out and he saw his brother like in the restaurant.

He's like, that's weird.

I just saw Toby and I'm like, no, he didn't.

You didn't see top.

But he didn't see anyone else, so he had no idea like what was actually happening.

But he just actually thought it was coincidence that Toby was there.

Well, I think he knew something was happening, but not to the extent right anyway, So I'm just like, just shush, don't say anything more.

Just keep walking anyway, and we went in and everyone was like surprise, and he obviously saw Tobe and was like, okay, so something must be up.

But he said when he saw everyone there and then he saw George Enna's dad, he just was absolutely flawed.

Did he cry.

He didn't cry, but he.

Was like very happy, like it's the happiest I have seen him in a very long time.

So it was like very nice.

I mean, obviously since Suki's birth.

He was like super stoked, but like very happy moment for him.

The next day, I was obviously still sick.

He let me sleep in and then he came up to put Suki down for a first nap.

And I woke up and I was like, hey, you're so sick.

He's like I just really wanted to say, like, thank you so much.

That's like probably the best birthday I've ever had.

And I was just like, oh, so yeah, I was worth all your work.

It was worth it all.

Look, I was so cute.

It was just really fun to be able to do something like that for him because we were overseas last year for his birthday and I could really plan anything because we were just kind of you know, had me being pregnant, We're traveling a lot, so it was hard.

I still made it really special, but it was just nice at this time I mate was able to make it really special.

And it was just such a surprise.

So if you're thinking about doing a surprise for like a friend or a significant mother, that wouldn't mind a surprise.

It's such a lovely thing to do.

And it's like it was so low key, like we're at a cafe that especially open for the night, like, and it was only fifteen people because that's as many as they could have, so it was including us as well, So it was it was like a really intimate, lovely little thing that I did and I highly recommend it.

If you've been wanting to do it for someone that you love.

You are just so cute.

Just please be one hundred percent sure that that person would like it.

Yes, absolutely, I just want my son to be happy.

Whatever made you think he wasn't.

I want to talk about in laws.

I want to talk about unhinged in laws featuring some glorious shittter submissions.

In laws, so they are the juicy, tricky, and sometimes hilarious threads of family life.

And they're often tied with the person that we choose to partner with because even if their family is actually no weirder than yours, you didn't grow up with it, so it's just not what you're used to the term in laws.

I found this so interesting about to give you a little bit of a history lesson and carees.

The term in laws can spark anything from a smile or a look of horror.

But where did the concept come from?

Because I when I was thinking about it, I was kind of wondering, how did these classic stereotypes like the meddling mother in law become so ingrained in our culture.

So the term in law dates back to the fourteenth century.

Originally referring to family members created through the laws of marriage rather than by blood.

So in many cultures, the in laws weren't just relatives use or at holidays.

They were deeply tied into your survival, your social status, and your economic future, and marriages were often arranged with these family alliances in mind, which meant that your in laws weren't just extended family.

They were business partners, allies, or sometimes rivals.

Yes, yes, this is like medieval stuff, and yeah, it's so cool.

I just had never really thought about it before.

And in agricultural societies, the new spouses often moved into the household of the husband's family, and this living arrangement naturally gave to tension, especially between the wife and the mother in law, who both might be buying for authority in the home.

Thus, this is where that age old trope begun, and it has only gotten more popular theme in pop culture thanks to the intense reaction it elicits in so.

Many of us.

So before we get into the shitter submissions, I wanted to talk about our own experience with in laws, because part of the reason we both find this topic so fascinating is that we simply cannot relate to the tales of bad in law behavior, although maybe we can in some ways, and we've got to start by opening up.

So firstly, talk about relationships that you had with in laws.

I guess prior to Charlie and then Charlie's family.

I haven't had that many boyfriends that were serious enough for me to meet the parents, so I probably had three before Charlie.

All of them were fine, Like, all of them are really nice.

I lived with some of them.

My Scottish boy friend that I met here, we went and lived in Scotland for a summer and I lived with him and his family, and they were really nice, his mum, dad, and a sister.

They were always nice in laws.

Like, I've never had any kind of experience with bad in laws, although like I definitely friends around me have navigated very tricky dynamics with their mother in laws, or I hate to say it is stereotypically correct, like it always seems to be with the mother in law, Like I don't feel like the dads tend to get two into the weeds.

And I got a few submissions about dads.

Oh really, that's so interesting.

The primary response was about mother's in laws, but yeah.

Yeah, all my experience has been all good.

And then obviously my in laws now like are the best, like they welcomed me from day one.

I just remember Charlie being like, Mum really likes you, and I'm like yes, and I was like, that isn't hard because she likes everyone, like she's the nicest person in the world.

He's like, no, no, no, like he could tell in the past when she wasn't like super into other girlfriends, like she wouldn't be mean to them, like they would never know.

But he knew, and so he said to me, like deb was really a big fan of mine, and so I was like, yes, it's amazing.

We would be in Bangalore and I would drive back to Brisbane and we'd split up cars, so he'd go with his dad and I go with his mom, and like we just have none stopped talking the whole time.

So I feel bad that people have these bad experiences, and I will not be one of those people that has a bad experience with my unless they're completely bad for my child.

But I also think that like in the in law's world, are they acting that way because they don't think that this person is good for their son, their daughter there.

Whoever, if they truly believe that, then I can't fault them because I guess like it would be hard.

Of course it would be.

But a lot of the people that submitted little horror stories, they're married or they've got kids, so it's like, what is the parent in law's objective there?

You've just got a kind of go with it and like get it.

You're not gonna like everyone in life.

Yeah, if it's down to like coerse of control or those kind of toxic behaviors of horse step in.

But if it's just they're not your person, I think that's when you've got to just suck it up.

And think, well, at least I'm not marrying them.

Well, yes, especially if they are going to get married and then have kids.

You've really just got to bury it and find some commonality or just faker to you make it.

Yeah, what about you, cal Have you had any experience with bad in laws?

No, I'm the same as you.

I've only had a couple of long term partners in my life.

My first one, you would think if I described to you their situation, you would think that she would have been a bad mother in law figure because she was later in life when she had him.

He was the little miracle baby.

She didn't have a great relationship with the dad, so only child, she was older, and he was just the everything to her, of course, But I still talk to her sometimes.

We'll still email each other about things.

So even though she was probably a little bit overbearing in some ways, I always just sort of understood why, because she didn't have anyone else to share the overbearing with that my mum and dad had three kids to sort of spread it out over, and she always included me in her overbearingness, if that makes sense.

Yeah, Yeah, I just loved her, and I loved that she always sort of included me and everything and just welcomed me into the family.

And yeah, she was just really great.

And like yeah, I said, we still email each other about different things sometimes, and I'm sure that she's a beautiful mother in law to who he's married since.

And then the next guy I had a long term relationship with, the same thing.

Even after we broke up, me and the boy, I still had dinner with her.

We just got along.

Yeah, that's really nice.

And then with Luke's mum, it was just never even a thing.

I guess as well, I've never had a partner.

It is worth noting that was super ingrained in their family, if that makes sense.

So having to do alternate Christmases has never been something that I've had to navigate or all right, will you just go to York family's house for Christmas, because I've never been with someone who's like super into Christmas or family things like that.

And Luke's family lives up in Queensland, so it's just maybe that's another thing that they're not close, So we don't really have issues and the only things that we probably would butt heads over.

There was a situation where his parents were both, we're not getting the COVID vaccine, and I said, well, they will not be meeting the baby while he's little.

But then that was never even issue because of COVID, do you know what I mean?

So like, because they were in different states, it was never actually an issue.

And they also aren't the sort of people that would push it.

They'd just kind of be like, oh, that's what she said.

They might, you know, be not more and bitch about me behind my back, but they wouldn't have pushed it with me.

I am on the record of saying I would love an overbearing mother in law because I don't have a mum that lives close to me, and I would say that my mum is very I sometimes wish she was more overbearing in some ways.

She's very much so minds her own business.

I love the idea of having someone really coddle me and turn up and cook for me and clean for me, and when I was in the trenches, take the baby.

I would have loved that.

So I've sort of always said that I'd love an overbearing mother in law, but I obviously don't mean to the extent that some people have submitted, because I think I just mean that I was talking to Mum when I was thinking about this episode, because she famously I've mentioned this before, but they actually moved out of Sydney because she found my nanny, the one that I'm so close to, so overbearing and such an awful mother in law that she remember, Yeah, she wanted to move out of Sydney because she was like, our marriage is not going to survive her.

Yeah, and so many people like I was speaking to someone the other day and they were like, we were just talking about how hard it is having kids, but we were speaking specifically I was like I always say to people, like, since having a second I've been saying like, you'll be fine if you have support around you, but if you don't, you won't.

And she was like, oh, yeah, it's really difficult without support.

But she goes, but there's not a chance that I'd be living near my in laws, and I was like, oh, there you go.

So it's still going strong that theme.

Yeah, it's so interesting, isn't it.

But the reason why I say I I would like an overbearing mother in law is probably because I am my grandmother in some ways and both of us are just quite blunch.

So Mom's like, oh, one time she turned up and she told me that my linen closet was a disgrace.

And I just always think of that reference because if someone did that to me, I'd be like, can you clean it?

Then, you know, like, good on, you get in there clean it.

I mean.

My nanny was apparently one night after the first night that she ever went over before Mum and Dad had babies, they weren't married yet, they went out of dinner and Mum baked an apple pie because my dad said that Nanny really liked that, and Paul really liked that, and Nanny called Mum later.

She said, Darcy told me not to call, but I would want to know your apples were undercooked.

And my mom telling me this story, she's still clearly offended by it, whereas I just think that that's quite funny.

Now it scarred her for lives.

That was like the moment she was like, we cannot live in the same place as your parents.

All right, So are you ready to hear some of the shitter submissions?

Because when I told you why I messaged you, I had tears down my cheeks.

I actually cannot wait to hear this because you've You've set me up and said this is going to be really good, So can you deliver?

Well?

Can the shit has delivered?

Well?

They're just so they sound fake because you just think no, no, yeah.

My mother in law agonized over her grandparents' name.

A lot of them do this.

Apparently she has a ma sound in her name, so she suggested she go by mama.

Stop we stood firm.

There was a firm noah on that one.

Literally it would have been her first word, mama.

My brother's girlfriend knew the bride'smaid dress color, so sister and Laura I'm assuming they've been in each other's lives for a while for my wedding, so she bought a dress in the same color.

When I called it out because I was only having one bride'maid my sister caused a rift in our family as my brother took her side and thought I was being unreasonable.

Wait, so the sister in law wasn't.

A bridesmaid but bought a dress in the same shade as the bridesmaid dress.

Oh that's just a I actually agree.

I don't think that.

I mean, I get why the shitter was annoyed.

She was just trying to be included, bless her.

Little heart, and it is shit.

Like you know, when it's your wedding and people do weird stuff, you're just like, oh, can you not, it's my day.

But I also just feel like that girl, she must be lonely or something.

She must be I just want people to think that I'm another bridesmaid because it happens by accidentally.

You can't just be like, but you're not going to ask every bride unless you're pretty good friends with them.

I don't reckon yeah, yeah, exactly, but I do get anything wedding related.

It's totally.

I'm obviously on the shitter side because it's very high emotions, lots of things going on.

So yeah, I remember my sister in law that will waite to my wedding.

Your sister in law?

Wait, she did?

She is the weird one that we don't talk to.

Yeah, that's weird behavior.

Come on this one.

My sister in law sent an email to my husband and I saying how concerned she was about my son's teeth.

She asked us to go see a specialist dentist who deals with splints eatc for teeth.

She went on and on about how he will be bullied for having a gap in his teeth.

His teeth and mouth aren't even formed as he's two years old.

Wait, that is so weird.

Why do you care so much their teeth?

Weird?

All those teeth.

Are going to fall out, ma'am.

I don't understand.

Email back with you know the X ray of a toddler's mouth, how because you can see all the adult teeth as well.

Yeah, yes, she just needs to drive back.

If you care that much, just have a conversation.

But like, don't hide behind an email about it.

You know we've talked before about if someone or not will know something, and it's like, you know, your kids got a.

Gap totally that she would know.

But does she have kids, does she understand how teeth work?

It's so few, all right?

My mother in law bought me sig zero singlets because there was absolutely no way my newborn was going to fit into the quadriple zeros I had bought, because he simply wouldn't be that small.

She knows best.

Oh no, I just would have been like, told you so, yeah, when because you forget how little they are, right, that was not that big of a deal though, It's like, well he'll fit into them anyway at some point.

Yeah.

In my head this time around, I was like, it feels weird buying five zeros, Like surely she's not going to be that small, and it's like they are.

My mother in law is a nightmare.

I have two girls and she's been absolutely devastated about both of them being girls.

When we told her that our second was girl, she said, well, that's not what I wanted, and then commented that the other one is too tall and will never get a boyfriend dot dot dot she's five.

Oh my god, oh my god.

You can't say that she might not even want a boyfriend exactly.

I kind of vote for this person say that she's going to be a lesbian.

Obviously, people care a lot about genders.

But you can't be the person to say that I wish they were.

That's me exactly and not what I wanted.

Well, you have another baby, then.

Yeah, exactly exactly.

And also we don't have control over that.

You can't be mad at me or disappointed at me.

My mother in law was deeply concerned about my newborn son's belly button protruding.

She was worried he would be embarrassed to swim as in a grown adult, and suggested taping a gold coin over it to press it down.

Spoiler alert, it's no longer out.

Okay, you grew out of it.

So I'm not gonna lie.

I was super stressed.

Oh my god, did you tape a gold coin to someone's belly button?

No?

I didn't.

But the thing is, it's like I kept because rus bellybutum was always fine, but Suki's bellybatum, and.

They clipped it.

They clipped it really short, so the thing never stayed on and it was just very It bled a lot.

More so I was just for some reason very stressed out about it, and then the way that it kind of fell of, I was like, oh my god, she's got an Audi and there's obviously nothing wrong with it.

I kind of like Audi's.

I think they look more aesthetic.

Yes, I don't know.

I don't know if I don't know where this sits with the general population on what's in and what's out.

Literally, I've got.

A really deep inning, and I tell you what, an Audi would be much more preferable.

You could get lost in mind.

Charlie would always be like, you've got an Audi, and I'd be like, no, you do.

And then I was like, do you think Suki does?

And we were just like laughing over it.

I don't even know.

I can't even remember now, but it reminds me of my mother's group friend Patty, and I think she'd be fine with me sharing that.

She actually wrote and sent the picture the other day.

This is why I remembered Lola, her daughter.

Her ears were like quite sticky, Addie, so she she made her wear this hat that pushed her ears down and would be like, Patty, why is Lola wearing that hat?

She's indoors?

Why is she wearing a hat was really funny.

So yeah, I can maybe relate to the mother in law, but obviously it doesn't matter at all, and I'm certainly not going to strab gross cash to it.

That's so funny.

Okay, my mother in law lost a whole lot of weight and he's trying to become an Instagram influencer model, which means Nana's feet is filled with photos of her in black lacy langerie, right next to photos with the grandkids.

No, no way, Kelly.

You can't make this stuff up.

There's no reason why someone would submit something that wasn't the truth.

Oh my god, I completely believe them, But that is unhinged.

Oh maybe like I don't know, set up like a fin star or something.

Nah.

It gets to a stage where I reckon, you've got to be considerate about your children and grandchildren.

I mean, let's embarrass people on purpose.

Yeah yeah, oh my god, sorry about that one.

Should I don't even know what to say.

Okay.

My mother in law would continuously watch me breastfeed my daughter closely, even so close she would comment on the suction.

That is just uncomfortable.

No one needs critique around their breastfeeding.

Unless you're like a professional, you know.

Yeah, I told my mom that one and she goes, oh.

And then one day Nanny just whipped out an apple to show me the difference between ours and that to show me that they would go back down, like back to the size that they were prior.

And I was like, wow, I really am my grandmother's granddaughter.

And Mom goes, yeah, but I hope you wouldn't do that, and I'm mom, I probably would, to be fair.

Yeah, I can actually definitely see you doing that.

That's actually so funny.

You guys are the same person.

Yeah, yeah, and it is like you can just imagine that without thinking I'd open a cupboard at your house and go, my god, this is a mess.

Yeah, exactly, exactly exactly.

But then I'm the sort of person I just wouldn't think of anything because I'd think that you could then say to me, will you bloody clean it up?

Then you bitch?

Yeah, you know, I wouldn't never call someone about their uncooked apples to be fair.

No, all right, this one actually sounds made up.

Mother in law's first time meeting my baby.

She came up on a work trip, so her flights were paid for by work.

Then she was arrested at the airport for bringing live World War one bullets through security.

Finally gets here, then she spends the whole time trying to call people in wored it out, then bitches behind my back to my husband saying she's such a leo about me, as if it's a derogatory thing to be.

I read that and I was like, I have so many questions.

I've got a lot of questions, like why was it feel like I needed a longer story time with that one?

Yeah, it was a work trip.

She had bullets choking has it?

I'm so confused about why it was a work trip.

Why was she bringing bullets super into astrology?

Like, I now have this weird idea of who this woman is in my head.

Saying she's a very strange person, and not in a fun kooky way.

No, okay.

So this one's mother in law wanted to meet the baby, so she drove her three month old baby like quite some distance, called her on the way and said, hey, I'm almost there, and her mother in law said, oh, can you bring me a coffee?

She's got the new born in the car.

Then when she was late because there is a poos blosion that happens, and she had to change in the car at the cafe while she was getting the coffee.

The mother in law then called and asked what was taking so long.

That mom with the newborn.

I would have said, I'm sorry, I can't get you that coffee.

I've got a bit on.

Mother in law made a joke about rubbing rum on teething baby's gums.

I said, absolutely not.

I turned around.

She was pulling her finger out of the baby's mouth and he was screaming.

She says she didn't do anything, but I begged to differ.

Is that not the most old person thing?

Because my aunt sent me a message one day saying, you know, Lenny screamed a lot when he was a newborn, and she said, what you could do is soak a washer a washcloth in methylated spirits and place it on his stomach.

I'm not joking.

I'll send you a screenshot of this message my aunt sent me suggesting such a thing.

Ma'am.

If it worked, it's because the baby is unconscious.

Okay, you could go to jail for that.

Yeah.

I didn't write back, and then I made a note not to ever leave the baby alone.

With I think that's a good idea.

Sorry, aunt.

Now sister in law tried to set my then fiance up with her friend.

Okay, so that's like your Georgia trying to set Charlie up with someone else when Georgia, Yeah, yeah, years later the friend was her maid of honor and my husband was the best man.

The sister in law referenced what could have been in her speech.

I don't like that, that's not that is so mean.

Can we just realize that it would not It would never have been because it was never a table as an option.

Babs brother in law was eighteen at the time, and he made a tally of my toilet paper consumption and tried to argue I should have to bring my own toilet paper When I visited ten years later, he was the best man at our wedding.

That is so brother coded.

Why would boys care about that?

Was it in a SHARE's family.

No, it would have been the family home.

This is just so brother coded because he was doing it to try to embarrass her.

Yeah right, okay, I kind of understand that, do.

You know what I mean?

Like he's young, he's just being like, oh, you're so gross, Like you do so many poohs and wheeze at our house.

You should have to bring your own toilet paper.

This is such a random one, but I these sort of stories that you then just bring up for years.

Yeah yeah, yeah, and that person never forgets how that person made them feel.

Exacting, my mother in law said to my eighteen month old son, you have chunky legs just like your mom.

Stop it, shots fired, Jesu Loise.

My mother in law brought over a care package of food after I'd given birth.

Oh so nice, that's so nice.

It was all meals with prawns and crab.

I am highly allergic to shellfish.

Oh my god, that could have Yeah, that could have really gone quite wrong.

My mother in law, I refuse to come and meet our baby in the hospital because we hadn't allowed her to be there for the birth.

What the grudge?

That gets really awkward, Like, so, do you ever want to meet your grandkid or are you just gonna hate on us forever for not having you.

Many so they didn't let you steer at my vagina.

My in laws took their son to look at wedding venues without me.

Oh that is just strange though, I mean, but if they are like paying for the whole wedding, I can't of get it.

But I'm also like, it's very weird.

No, it's weird, probably small time compared to others.

But my mother in law post things on Instagram and then sends them to me via DM and then she texts my husband to ask why I haven't liked to respond it to her posts.

She just really wants to be friends.

Recommendations.

I only have one this week.

Mine is the Upsea.

Have you heard of these col No, So they're basically like a little booster seat that you put on chairs.

So, say the dining room table when you're toddler isn't quite big enough to sit in a normal chair, and you don't have one of those high chairs that everyone has.

It looks like a cool chair that sits at dining room table.

You can buy these little things called an Upsey, and it is basically a booster They come in like all different prints, but they are quite expensive.

They're like one hundred and eighty bucks, which is a massive investment.

You can pick them up on Facebook Marketplace, but they are currently having a second sale, so I purchased one last week, maybe on Friday, and my upsy arrived this week.

They're sixty bucks.

There was a little bit of discoloration, but I didn't care.

It still looks nice and it still does the job.

And Rue is obsessed.

So now we can all sit at the dinner table together, which has been quite cute.

Because otherwise you do the pillow and then they slide down the pillow and.

It's just yeah, exactly, it's really good.

And it's also just like a funky little chair for them to have so they can use it like she puts it at her little table, because it kind of works for that too.

I didn't think it would because it isn't as big as a normal chair, but sixty bucks down from one to eighty with like minimal something wrong with a defect or whatever, a really goodbye.

I'll put the link in the show notes.

Cal what have you got?

I love that?

Well.

Firstly, I'm looking for a fabulous stress, so if anyone has a recommendation, please reach out.

You know, I love to shop, but I'm really struggling to find something that It's a four hundred and fifty person black tie wedding and I want something fantastic, you know, like truly fabulous, not something just generic.

And it's also Asian.

There's some rules.

I'm pretty sure it's no black, no red, so I want to follow the etiquette for the Asian wedding.

So I want to make sure that I don't turn up in red if that's really bad black or whatever it is.

Yeah, yeah, So if you've got any suggestions, please let me know.

I've also got to recommend it.

That was me asking for a recommendation.

If anyone has seen something fabulous, help me shop.

I have two small recommendations.

The first one is a book called The Birthday Party by Chalini Boland.

I'll link it in the show notes.

It was so good.

I haven't read just a good thriller for ages where just really easy.

It was about the premise is that someone's kid goes missing at a six year old birthday party.

Don't don't do that sounds yes, it's really good, Yes, so juicy.

And then my other recommendation is so rogue.

I talk about this at least once a year on the U Beauty podcast, but a lot of people probably don't listen to the U Beauty podcast, so I thought i'd recommend it here.

Well later, Nappy Rush cream.

Well, firstly, it is superior as a nappy rush cream for your baby's bottom.

Put it around your nose when you have a cold.

I'm so lazy, like often I'll just grab toilet paper to blow my nose.

I don't always have a super soft Kleenex or something similar around My nose starts flaking and it's so sore.

I swear will later nappy rush cream works one does you just put it around your snout?

Think about how it works on a baby, So it's kind of just the same.

Obviously, it looks ridiculous.

You do it before, better if you're just working from home, But it makes my skin ninety percent better, and it has to be the later one.

I swear by it.

And I know that Wilata is a bit of a cooked company.

It's like founded by anti vaxes.

But alas, until someone comes up with something better, I will continue to repurchase.

Oh wow, that is such a good reco I love that my nose.

Honestly, I always run out of tissues because I have that much mucus coming out that I end up using toilet paper and my nose yeah, always so red raw.

I'm gonna try this next time.

Thanks, Cal you can do a full face and makeup.

You snout still red, I currently look like Rudolph and Almo and to Elmo what in a tra debased?

Anyway, we'll be back in your ears next week.

This podcast was produced by us Key, re Searls, and Kelly mccaren, with audio production by Maddie Joanno.

Bye Bye,