Welcome to Criminalia, a production of Shondaland Audio in partnership with iHeartRadio.

Welcome to the final episode of our Heists of Many Types season, and also welcome to the final episode of Criminalia.

I'm Maria Tremarky.

And I'm Holly Frye.

So that is right.

This is the last episode of Criminalia.

This is a decision that has happened fairly recently.

If it seems sudden to you, it kind of did to us as well.

But we are in a time when you know, things are changing in the audio space and decisions have been made well above our heads about this show going forward.

So we are sunsetting it with the deepest love.

And from our very first show we wanted to kind of get our hands dirty.

We wanted to dig in and look at some of history's crimes to understand them better.

And over these past years we have told stories of historical offenders and offenses, and along the way we've considered whether or not any of those instances might look a little different today, if, for instance, maybe they would have some commonality with our modern world and modern problems.

With a little distance on the timeline, some perpetrators can transition from villain to less villainous, and sometimes though guilty is just guilty, how.

Lucky we are to be a part of something that makes saying goodbye so hard.

This is actually two finales in one, so let's treat them that way.

Let's talk about this season, our final season first, So we've been talking about heists, these random and sometimes really odd ball heists and the robbers who committed them.

It was a season where we kind of collected the strays.

We talked about nutcrimes and gold toilets and beanie baby madness.

You never really knew what you were going to get from episode to episode.

Some highlights this season included these heists.

We opened the lid on manhole cover theft and learned that once a rare crime, disappearing manhole covers have become an expensive and dangerous problem for cities, not just in the United States but around the world, with thieves swiping hundreds at a time to sell as scrap.

So watch where you step and be safe out there.

We also talked about a heist of liquid gold, or at least something very close to it.

Canada exports maple syrup that has been valued as much as twenty five times more expensive than crude oil, and thanks to numbers like those, thieves staged a multimillion dollar heist from the Global Strategic Maple Syrup Reserve at a total of about eighteen million dollars worth of maple syrup that made it one of the largest agricultural thefts ever.

And we talked about the day when three people with nothing more than a cargo van and a lie walked away with a baby grand piano from the Toronto Hospital.

As Constable Tony Vella said of that robbery at that time, quote, it's definitely not something you see every day, truly quotable.

If you have not been with us during previous seasons, welcome.

You're coming in a little late, but we have a tradition.

With every season's finale, Maria and I share our favorite shows from the season and our favorite cocktails and mocktails.

But before we talk about those favorites, we're going to take a quick break for word from our sponsors and we will meet you right back here.

Welcome back to Criminalia.

Let's get started with our personal picks, and to choose from, we've both picked our single favorite show and drink.

You want to go first?

Yeah, my favorite show is the easiest thing on the planet.

This was an easy pick for me.

The gold toilet it is.

This is also there's twofold reason.

Okay.

One, I don't know that I've ever told you this, but toilet is one of those words I hate.

I hate saying it.

I hate everything about it.

Okay.

If it weren't for the Simpsons episode where Lisa gets nicknamed toilet, I would never say it.

Okay.

However, this was a good thing where it kind of broke me of it and I'm over it now I'm a new woman.

But also I love because it's an art heist essentially, and I love this idea, the messaging of and this concept of kind of breaking down those preconceived ideas of what art is to who's entitled to engage with art?

Like to me, that's what made it really really interesting and exciting.

And then of course knowing that the toilet doesn't exist anymore because it got melted down almost as soon as it was taken, to the best of our knowledge.

But also is a nice commentary on the you know, ephemeral nature of a lot of art.

There have been a lot of art history that we'll never know about or see again where the loss of the art became its own kind of art, and that just makes it like the meta levels of this whole story are so great to me.

I love it.

I thought it was a great story as well.

I would on top of it was my honorable mention for the season, and I would say, on top of everything you said, I also found it incredibly impressive that it only took five minutes to pull off the entire thing.

I mean, that was a plumbed toilet.

Yeah, my first My first pick was the stolen baby grand piano from the Toronto General Hospital because all it took was a single, simple lie.

And we talked about that episode two that if you are going to steal something as large and as awkward as if he's there, if someone asks what you're doing, you say something real simple, really easy, real to the point we're taking it for tuning period.

That is a full sentence, complete stop.

And it took about ten days to get the piano back.

I liked that the piano was returned.

Yeah, yeah, it's a happy ending on that one.

This one, yes, not damage not wrecked.

Right in concert again having performances.

Just thought that the actual removal of the piano were stunningly easy.

I mean the piano one has a nice takeaway that you can use in your own non criminal life, which is that if you ever feel self conscious or shy or awkward in a situation, just pretend like you belong there because everyone will buy it.

Exactly.

Don't pretend you're doing a crime.

Pretend you're do crime.

Yeah, just do it for your own self confidence.

It'll be great.

That's my beaver advice.

Pretend you're supposed to be there.

Yeahs.

So our cocktail mocktail?

Should we should we move on to that?

Yeah, listen, it's a dessert cocktail, and of course it's wild beans inspired by the Beanie Baby heists.

I love, I loved wild Beans and the Beanie Baby highest drink.

You know, it's one of those things where as I have gotten old, especially after I, you know, uh, have done bartending classes, I don't like drinks as sweet as I used to by any means, but every once in a while, a good sweet drink hits the spot and this is one of those.

So the jelly bean martini, which is something that a lot of people make very differently, but here is ours.

It is an ounce and a half of vanilla vodka, three quarters of an ounce of elderflower liqueur, three quarters of an ounce of blueberry liqueur, and three quarters of an ounce of lemon And that's shaking with ice and strained into a pre chilled martini glass.

And what I love is that if blueberry is not your jam, you can use almost any other liqueur and play with it and make your own jelly bean flavor.

And has to happen.

And the mocktail on this one is very easy.

In lieu of that ounce and a half of vodka, you are just gonna use a combination of tea if you have a vanilla black tea, and then you sub any fruity syrup in lieu of the liqueur, and you still get a yummy wild bean that just doesn't have any alcohol in it.

And you'll do elderflower syrup instead of elderflower liqueur.

So no Saint Germaine a syrup which you can get.

You might have to go to a specialty retailer or online, but it's pretty easy to get a hold of.

How about you, what's your favorite drink of the season.

My favorite drink of the season was inspired by the great Canadian maple syrup heist.

And perhaps no surprise to me whatsoever.

And perhaps the fact that I'm a new Englander and I I had to pick it.

But it is the taphole based on an old fashioned plus bubbly Yeah.

Yes, do you want to walk to the cocktail in mocktail?

Sure?

Cool?

So the the cocktail version of this is a barspoon of maple syrup, two to three dashes of bitters and a dash of water, So you're just smoothing out that maple syrup a little bit.

You can stir that together, and then you're just gonna add an ounce and a half of the bourbon of your choice, and then gonna add an ounce and a half of champagne to this experience and make it a bubbly old fashioned listen, and I want to put a champagne on everything lately, so why not to do this one as a mocktail.

You're just gonna sub out that bourbon and instead use announce and a half of black tea with a pinch of white pepper in it to give it a little bit of a bass note, or really any other bubbles.

You can use your kava there, you can use your prosecco, whatever you like the best or have on hand.

Any sparkling wine will do, and whatever variety of that, like if you like, you know, a brute or something else, whatever of those you prefer is the correct one.

And that kind of tempers the maple ley note.

But you can finish, so it's like bubbles bourbon maple.

It's a nice journey when you take a sip.

I was a little afraid because it's gonna be a little sweet, but you're right.

It hits you at the back of the drink and it's lovely.

It's nice.

It's not a maple drink.

It's just a hints at it.

It's like a kiss at the end.

And I will say in some ways that one felt like a chee to me because a variation of a thing that I do at home all the time when we have people over, Like if you start a drink as an Arnold palmer and then you just add stuff to it, people always love it.

In that case, The easier way is it's based on a couple of things.

A drink that is served on Dafusky Island, which is the only place you can get it, called a scrap.

It's like a proprietary drink.

The recipe is a secret, so people guess at it, and it sounds very much Island iced tea.

And I kind of took that idea and an arnold palmer and made something new out of it.

So ours is an ounce of chili liqueur, an ounce of rye, three ounces of lemonade, and three ounces of unsweetened iced tea together.

You can also serve it.

I recommended with a half ta heen rim if you like really spicy, that's right.

So I think that's a great idea.

I forgot it that way.

You'd get a nice spicy but still very refreshing drink out of it.

The mocktail, you can use an ounce of any hot chili or pepper syrup, three ounces of lemonade, and you're just gonna up your tea to four ounds of unsweetened iced tea since you're gonna leave out that rye.

And then again the taking rim is an option there, and there's ice all up in there, so it's a good refresher.

It's a nice larger drink in terms of ounceage once you get your ice in there too, so it's like a good sipper.

It's not one that you know a lot of drinks, smaller cocktails that you get, especially if they're served in a glass without ice.

The intention is that you drink them fairly quickly, not like chugging them like a shot.

But the idea is that when it is handed to you on a bar, that is its perfect moment of existence.

And so if you and the same for things with ice too that are smaller scale drinks like that, if you let it sit too long, it's gonna dilute because the ice will melt and you're not really getting the same drink anymore.

But this is one where because it does have two water based components that are a big proportion of it.

Lemonade and iced tea both have a lot of water in them already, so if it dilutes a little bit, it doesn't shift the taste around as much a sip and drink versus a don't linger too long drink.

Right, did you have any honorable mentions?

It's really difficult to pick drinks because what if?

What if they all become your honorable mentions.

It's a little like, well they're all pretty good.

Yeah, I have one that stands out, and the others are all very yummy.

Yes, yeah, because this is our final show.

We're not going to roll straight from our season of heists into a new criminal enterprise, but we are going to roll into saying goodbye to the many seasons of Criminalia we have gotten hole run.

It's still going to be a shortish one, but and man, that's a tall order we discovered.

But we're going to take a break from our sponsors, and then when we're back, we will talk about our all time favorite episodes of Criminalia and of course, our favorite cocktail by them all.

Welcome back to Criminalia.

When we're brainstorming this podcast, we already knew our first season was going to throw about.

We already knew a season whose main character turned out to be arsenic, and from there we've taken dives into art, crimes and outlaws and crafted a libation to go along with each story.

After all, what goes together better than cocktails and crime.

So here we go our favorite shows and zips from Criminalia.

I found this to be incredibly difficult, very challenging.

It's like choosing a favorite child or in my case, favorite cat.

It has it was probably easier to choose my least favorites let's.

Cho that would be a funny show.

Also, bother with this one.

Did not have a hard time picking my favorite shows, not at all.

Here's the top one, Salvador, Dolly and Riker's Islands.

So to refresh, this is the story of the original Dolly piece of art that he made specifically for the inmates of Riker's Island because he was supposed to go and tart Art group.

That was a program that they were doing as part of the enrichment for the inmates there, and he gets supposed to go, so he made them an original piece of art to send along instead, and that piece of art got displayed for a long time over trash cans, getting splattered with stuff as people tossed their leftovers, and then it went into storage and then someone realized they had an original Dolly and it went on display at an admin building and then got stolen by three of the guards.

This is a story that I love for its dolliness of it, because I love someone or Dolly.

Anyway.

I think he would have loved this story.

It would have tickled him.

He would have wanted the crappy replacement art that they came up, so he would have wanted that this is also a story that just in life comes up over and over.

It's great to whip out at a cocktail party or like when you're talking to someone about what you do for a living and what your show is, and I'll say, did you know there used to be an original Dollie on Riker's Island?

And most of the time people go, except recently I texted you about this.

I had a story experience of I was doing an event and as part of it, I had to travel, and the people running the event had sent a chauffeur to pick me up at the airport, and the guy that picked me up at the airport had looked up who I was and knew that I did shows and asked me about it.

And he asked me what kind of stories we told on Criminalia?

And I said, did you know there used to be a Tulli at riker Silent?

And he said, yeah, I used to work with one of those guards.

And I almost peed my pants.

It is the smallest planet in No one knows about that.

He was shocked that we knew about it.

He didn't realize it had ever been like a news story that people talked about I'm not so sure that it was so made for a great conversation, but it's one of those things where I'm like, this is this story has such legs as my great conversation starter for me, and I had the greatest ride talking to that dude.

He was wonderful.

We had so much fun discussing it because he was like, I didn't I didn't think anybody knew all these details because he was like, yeah, I know, that's what he told me.

Like it was so amazing.

So that is why that is my number one favorite of all of the stories we've ever told.

It might be mine too, although it is not on my list and you'll find out later, but my first my first pick is also on your list, but perhaps not.

Perhaps I can't not choose Barry Bremen.

Yeah, of course he's on my legs.

Okay.

So to remind everyone, Barry was the star of an episode that we did back in Imposter season which was in twenty twenty one, and he gate crashed sporting events, He crashed the Emmys.

He pretended to be a Dallas Cowboys cheerleader.

He was known as I believe it was the Great Impostor.

But basically I love his story because Barry brings joy.

He never intimidated, he never kidnapped.

The story was just fun.

There was no one efforts.

But since we've told Barry's story, there has been new news in his legacy, and I feel I should update us on this.

Yes, so Barry loved being a dad, and he also loved helping infertile couples, and he has father at least thirty two biological children as a sperm donor.

But he didn't want anyone to know.

And it was companies like twenty three and Me that let the cat out of the bag after he had died.

But Barry's legacy of loving life, his freeze spirit, very much lives on.

There are many people carrying his hopefully hilarious sense of humor around in the world.

And is down there.

Outfit.

I love it.

I love it, I love it.

I love They're doing seasons like stalkers and poisoners and just a lot of injury and trauma and death and terrible which was great.

Even in our season of impersonators, a number of them, a lot of them were doing it for the thrill, but a lot of them were doing it to cheat people out of money, or even if they were in it for the thrill, they sometimes took it too far and things got weird.

His was like the most joyous there was delightful.

As you said, nobody got hurt.

He's a prankster, he says, not trying to hurt anyone except maybe.

The one person who did not like when he showed up was Tommy Losorda, who with a lot of profanity, kicked him off the field one day.

I mean, Tommy Lesorda would have been swearing anyway.

I guarantee it like positive or not.

So who is your second episode?

Second yourself?

I'll give you my honorable mention, which is from very early on and it's Julia Tafana.

I like it and it's one of those stories that you know, we talked about it was.

It was really true to our entire ethos in starting the show about like, let's look at these and do they really do these stories that get told about people because she was known for having killed like hundreds of people in Rome, but really, when you look at it, she was trying to help women out of domestic violence situations because you could not leave your husband, you could not get a divorce.

Someone had to die.

The only way you were going to get out is if you died or he died, and those women did not deserve to die in her view, and she helped them end things for their husbands, which again I'm never going to be like, yeah, murder's great, but this was a time when that was the only way to gain agency and get yourself safe.

So I liked that that that was to tell and crack open in a way that is not just the mythology and the numbers about her where people are like she was the most deadly woman in the entire place, and it's like, well, there's more to this than those that simple statement.

For my second pick, my second pick is John Dee came up it I know, right, this is a surprise.

It was kind of surprised to me too, but I ended up choosing him.

His episode aired in March of twoy twenty two, I believe it was during our Witches in Alchemist's season, and the reason why I chose him was because one of the things that I thought was really interesting about that particular season was the majority of witches in the season were female, and the majority of Alchemists in the season were male, and they were both practicing in some instances, you know, what was considered heretical behaviors.

One of the things that I thought was really interesting about that season was that I believe every single one of the witches that we talked about died in the end, was burned at the stake.

I may be mistaken.

Maybe there was one that wasn't, but the majority of them absolutely were, and it was flipped for the alchemists where there was I can think of one, possibly two who were hung at the end of the episode.

John Dee was a super smarty pants and I rolled him into the alchemist's episode because he was arrested for basically casting horoscopes for the queen and her sister.

I believe Elizabeth first and Mary, but he was not executed at the end.

He actually was genuinely curious about the world and people let him be that way.

And I just remember going through this season years ago and thinking of the difference between being called witch and being called an alchemist, and how yes, the work was different, but at the end of the day, did religion see it differently?

I mean, John d at the end of the day was advisor to the queen.

He may have been the original Double seven.

He is out there and celebrated, and most of the women that we spoke of, we don't know their names, right, Like, yeah, they're just not part of culture.

Yeah.

I have an infinity for the John d story because the cocktail associated with it, which is Yes, marshmallow fluff.

Was in this one.

Every Yes.

And when we did our book Killer Cocktails, it's one of the cocktails that's in the book.

And I remember going back and forth with our editor and other people at shit in the process over whether or not we could use blorp as a unit of measure, but everybody went out, it's in the book.

Everybody knows what a blurp actually means, so it's there.

Yep, that's the Angel language cocktail.

Yeah, great cocktail.

Okay.

So I had two possible honorable mentions, and I'll mention them, but the one that I landed on is different.

So I was weighing putting Mary Baker Wilcox in as my honorable Now, she is Princess Caribou, who fooled an entire British village that she was royalty from the Pacific island of Javasuit.

Obviously didn't choose her I then thought about Walter Minx.

Now I did not know the story of Walter Minks.

He was an extortionist who built his own getaway submarine, and.

That to me, Oh, yeah, that's pretty good.

That was a good story.

But truly one hundred percent, My honorable mention is not fair because I am saying every single episode of Art Heist season was basically the best.

I loved that season.

It was my favorite season.

All my favorite episodes basically fall into there.

And it's not just because of Dolly, you know.

I thought the episode on Carbaggio was really really fun to tell.

Oh.

I loved that season, every bit of it, and it may even be the reason why the gold toilet appeared in our most recent heists season, even though we've already done in art Heists.

Yeah, that season was magical for me.

One, we got to talk about art constantly, which I love anyway.

Two, all of those stories are fascinating and some of them are wild, and the very simple ways that people managed to make off with priceless works of art still boggles my mind.

But also because we had the conceit throughout that season without you knowing it, that the drinks had to mimic the art visually in some way.

It was a really fun challenge for me and made for some really creative moments where I just got to play a little bit in a different way.

And I loved it.

I had so much fun with that doo.

I loved that season.

I love telling the stories of the artists in a way that you wouldn't necessarily think of them.

You'd think of them as people rather than thinking as the person who made the art.

And it was just really fun to talk about them and get to know who they were and what happened to their work and whether or not it was ever returned.

Again.

It's good season.

Good season.

Still some missing pieces that we'd like to a lot like to find.

But as we know, we just needed a Dolly and a lie and rasically get rid of it.

You can take anything we want.

It's time to move on to cocktails.

Do you want to tell me what your sure favorite cocktail picks are?

So my favorite cocktail is going to start with one from Body Snatcher season, and it's inspired by Grandison Harris and to refresh our memories of his story for more than fifty years.

So first as an enslaved man and then as an employee, Harrison robbed Graves to supply the anatomy students at Georgia with cadavers his job so he landed in body snatching season, and his drink is called anatomical Man.

Pretty simple cocktail put together.

It is a tablespoon of simple syrup, one large strawberry that you dice up real small, and four to five mint leaves.

And then you're gonna want to muddle all of that together until your strawberry is really well smushed.

Fill that glass with crushed ice, add in your two ounces of cognac, and give it a stir.

Now, if you're making a mocktail, you're just gonna want to sub about the kognak, which is going to be a very strong black tea in its place.

Yeah.

I would probably also add some additional syrup, perhaps to make it up for the kognak.

We're doing it today.

The montail might have a sweeter note to it.

Interesting, nice nice.

Yeah, this is will mention.

This is the drink that got me through all of our publicity of the book.

Oh, I loved this drink because it got me through the writing of the book.

It got me through the publicity tour of the book, and this was a go to drink for me.

I love it.

So this is the one that's tied to Locusta, who was the imperial poison maker of ancient Rome.

I loved her story too, I loved everything about this.

Oh yeah, But because she was an apothecary and a botanist, I wanted to make a drink that reflected that of almond milk or the milk of your choice.

I prefer a nut milk so you don't risk scalding it and having it separate in a weird way.

But you could do a dairy milk if you want.

You just have to be really careful.

A quarter cup of culinary rose buds and in one Earl Gray tea bag.

Then you were gonna put those in a saucepan with the milk erosbuds in your tea bag and turn the heat onto medium until the milk is steamy and it's just about to bubble around the edges, and then you're going to turn the heat off, give it a quick stir, leave it to sit for a little while.

You don't want to do it super hot warm, yes, but just let it sit for a bit because it'll also steep more, and then you'll strain it into your mug and you will use your sweetener choice, so you can use simple syrup.

You can also listen, I use the fake stuff.

You can do that.

You can use brown sugar, you can use whatever you want.

And then you're gonna add an ounce of brandy to it, which is just the yummiest listen.

I love rose flavored everything.

I love that this is a warm drink.

We don't have a lot of those in the mix.

It's also just there's something very pretty about it.

You can also garnish it with some rose buds if you like.

If you want to do this as a mocktail, you will add instead of brandy, a cup of low sugar white grape juice with like a dash of vanilla extract simmer those together for a little while, and then once it's cooled, you can just funnel that right into a bottle, and because you're gonna want to simmer more than your ounce, you're gonna do like a cup so that you'll have some extra leftover.

But it's so yummy, and it makes a really good sub for cognac.

And then you can just have your botanist latte whenever you want.

If you prefer it chilled, you absolutely can let it cool completely and put it over ice.

We love an iced brandy drink as much as we love a room tempe.

But it's just that has been a big favorite.

I have made it for myself so many times.

We haven't ever really talked publicly about the illustrations in the book.

Those all started as photographs of the drinks that I took, and then I would draw over them and put them in photoshop and make them all black and white, and in some cases like I would matt out the photography of it and then erase a little bit, so some of the photo came through.

And it just was one of my favorites to play with for that because it's so floral and pretty.

Everything about this episode, the drink, the person, the book are.

This was just a Acusta is just coming for us.

We love her.

What's your second drink pick?

My second drink pick is the Peppery Sergeant, which is inspired by two of George Harris and Stalkers, So Stalker season which was season two.

Now, when I was going through when I was looking at these the way about the botanists.

Slatte suggests it probably should have been my favorite drink of the season, and it is my go to and it is lovely and it will always be one of my go to drinks.

But what I pulled out for my favorites were drinks that I remember at the time being struck by, So the peppery Sergeant.

The ingredients to this two ounces of whiskey, one tablespoon of halopaenno jam, and then club soda to taste.

The halapaenno jam, to me, was immediately interesting and this drink became on my list of you should consider making this drink next time.

Yeah, so it's only three ingredients.

The method to it is to add the jam to the whiskey and let it sit for a couple minutes in the glass and then stir it to combine, add your ice cubes, top it off with your club sodas to taste.

Now, if you're making the mocktail, you really only have to swap out the whisky, and you can do that with two ounces of chai tea.

But Holly has also recommended a dash of salt.

I mean salt or saline, just the way you would season food.

You can season a cocktail and it brings out the sweet notes and the sharp heat of the hoolopano in your jam.

Saline is also a good substitute for people that don't use bitters, because bitters add an alcoholic component to your drink.

Even the actual ABV of bitters is quite high, but you normally only add a drop or two, so it's considered a small, a minuscule addition of alcohol to your drink.

But if you are one of those people that wants absolutely zero alcohol in your drink, which for a variety of reasons people do, you can use a saline solution or just add a pinch of salt instead, and it will similarly season your drink and bring out some their sting flavors and really draw out some of the notes of all the ingredients in a beautiful way.

Yeah.

I have a number two and an honorable mention.

So my number two is the Hanged Woman.

Oh yes, actually I know this.

Yeah, is the one that is part of the story of Rachel Wall who was a lady pilot for ow England who was hanged.

And this is one that I love because I don't know that you could make a more sort of hollycentric drink in terms of the flavors of it.

It's so easy to throw together.

It just takes a splash of pumpkin syrup, I mean just a little like a half ounce, three ounces of hard cider, and then three ounces of champagne, and it's one of those things that is such a basic drink, but it's not stuff that normally gets put together.

It's very autumnal.

It's a very very I don't know, there's just something super fun on the palette about this drink because you get the apple, the pumpkin and that crisp bubble element to it, and it's so delicious.

It's one of my very favorite drinks.

I make it all the time at home cocktail.

You're just gonna use a non alcoholic citer and a ginger ale instead of of your champagn or your other bubbles.

It's just it's one of my very favorites.

I love it.

I love it.

Bubbles, bubbles and more bubbles.

There are some super solid drinks, Like when we were writing a book and we were only we were going through eight seasons of shows and cocktails and mocktails.

I haven't found one that I don't like.

But I definitely have some that are one standouts, and that is That's one of them, the lattes.

There's a few like that just do it for me, and they are just good, like a flavors that I would not put together.

I uh, I actually have two.

Listen, it's very hard to choose my favorite children so season, and it was one of my favorites of the season, and that is the swift Nicks in the story of John Nevison from Our Highway Robbers.

And it's just because I love carrot juice and I love messing with it in cocktails.

It's a good juice and cocktails.

I right, I do we talked about on the show.

I do a version of a classic tiki drink that I do at home that uses carrot juice instead of orange juice, and it flips the proportions of carrot of orange and pineapple, so it's carrot juice apple together and it's so good.

But for the switch, we are naming after a horse who had a particularly grueling run in one part of the story, if it's true, So I wanted to make a drink that included things that a horse would like.

So carrot juice an ounce of apple juice, three quarters of an ounce of simple syrup.

So there's your carrot, your apple, and your sugar cube, and then three quarters of an ounce of elderflower liqueur and an ounce and a half of vodka and it's just a delicious drink.

What I remember this episode.

So for the mocktail on this one, you're just gonna use elderflower syrup instead of liqueur and a kimomeal tea instead of vodka because you don't need to flavor it much because the carrot and apple juice add so much flavor on their own.

Swift nicks.

And then my other honorable mention is it's kind of we're bookending because it is also from the Dalli episode because it's another one that features a lot of my favorite things.

Is a drink called Dolly's Antics, and it has an ounce and a half of vodka, three quarters of an ounce of liquor forty three or another vanilla liqueur, but the Laqure forty three.

Normally we do not recommend a specific brand that is a Spanish liqueur, though, so I highly recommend using it because it's a reference to Dolly's life.

And then three quarters of an ounce of heavy cream or half and half.

You are gonna shake those together with ice and then strain them into a prea chilled glass.

You can put them over ice if you want, but then you're gonna put on top of it three drops of angistra bitters and a sprinkle of black salt.

And the reason is that we want it to look like the painting after it had been in the mess hall and got splattered with things.

It's horrifying and gross, but the drink is really delicious, especially if you do like a creamy drink once in a while.

It's one It's like one of those drinks that I would not pick that to drink all night.

It's like the finished drink for the evening because it is a little heavy because of the cream, and it is sweeter because of the LICORPORI three.

But it's yummy for a once in a while.

That's my other honorable mention.

Very nice.

For the mocktail, you would do a vanilla tea and an orange tea together and then mix that with oat milk, like you would brew a vanilla tea bag and an orange tea bag with oat milk or almond milk.

Simmara over low heat and then let its teep as it cools, and then just put three ounces of that in your shaking tin, shake it and put it into a chilled glass with ices above, and then your vanilla extract you can drop on top if you don't want to do bitters in your black salt, and it's another different yummy drink.

So many drinks it's really hard to pick favrits.

And you're looking at five years of I know content.

I don't think we ever even marked our five year anniversary, which was recent.

We did not.

We haven't marked time.

So going going through all of these episodes and older seasons was really fun.

I mean, it took me a lot longer than I thought it was going to, but I think it's because there were stories that I didn't necessarily remember because they're five years old, and as soon as I got into it, I absolutely remember this person and their story in all of this.

But yeah, it's hard.

I mean I feel bad sometimes when talk to people out in the w and someone will mention an episode of this show or another show that I've done and I don't remember it.

I feel terrible.

But like when you're doing a show every single week for years.

My brain can't keep it all.

I'm not smart enough for that.

It's too hard for me.

We definitely want to thank you so much for joining us for the final episode of the season and the finale of Criminalia.

I also want to give personal links to our amazing editors we have had throughout this run.

We started with Gabby, and then we had Casby and now we have had Vince for a while, and they have all been extraordinary collaborators and absolute delights to work with.

People at Shondaland have been amazing for us.

People on the iHeart end have been really lovely to work with.

And of course I have to thank my partner in crime Maria, who bless her came on this show when I texted her out of the blue and said I pitched this show, it got picked up, I need help and then I want you to write it.

And so it's been such a delight working on this for the last five years with you.

It really has been.

I don't know if this is if we've ever mentioned this before, but Holly and I have previously.

We've known each other for a while and we've worked together before this show five years again together.

Right who knows what the future may hold, but I'm grateful that we've had this run because it's pretty fun.

We got to tell a lot of good stories, and we got to make a book together, and.

We learned about Dolly, and we learned about DOLLI I mean, who doesn't want that.

That's the story that's sticking with me for the rest of my life.

I will be in a retirement home at the age of ninety six, going dude in Rectors Island.

So this is a goodbye.

But we also want to say thank you to our listeners.

Thank you for supporting us as we walked in and out of historical crime scenes.

And we are so grateful that you took this adventure with us.

We are so grateful that you have supported the show and the book, all of our wacky high jinks.

Thank you, thank you, thank you.

We hope you have had as fun a ride as we have, and I want you to always remember there is no such thing as cocktail jail.

That's right, other jails.

Yes, we've taken a tour.

There's no cocktail jail arrest to be made.

So go mix play with your drinks.

How to choose your own adventure.

Tweak them, to make them the way you like them, because that's the right way to make it.

Criminalia is a production of Shondaland Audio in partnership with iHeartRadio.

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