[SPEAKER_00]: the gay and vodka, what's that's a gay as vodka, what a really really really gay podcast that we called that's a gay as vodka, that's a gay as vodka.

[SPEAKER_00]: Welcome back to that's a gay ass podcast.

[SPEAKER_00]: The podcast that asks who's fault is it that your gay babe?

[SPEAKER_00]: It is me Eric Williams and the category is gay ass Jew because this week we welcome Jake Cohen back on the podcast [SPEAKER_00]: to update us on his single life.

[SPEAKER_00]: That is right, Jake has now been divorced, and has a lot to share in this new chapter of his gay ass life.

[SPEAKER_00]: Now we do talk about some of his slutty tales, but for the real [SPEAKER_00]: Dates the real sluddy scoop go to substock for the extended episode where he really lets us in and out and in and out of his gay ass sluddy life.

[SPEAKER_00]: But please enjoy my chat with Jake Cohen.

[SPEAKER_00]: It's all about Mishpuh today on that's a great ass podcast.

[SPEAKER_00]: And for the non-Jews, that means family, Jake Cohen, you are back on the pot after almost four, no over four years since your first appearance.

[SPEAKER_00]: Um, a lot has changed since he did this podcast on April 14th of 2021.

[SPEAKER_00]: It's got the rules.

[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, I was doing my research.

[SPEAKER_00]: But right before we clicked record, you said that you've run into someone that you met through this podcast.

[SPEAKER_00]: Can I guess who it is?

[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.

[SPEAKER_01]: All right.

[SPEAKER_01]: The context is.

[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, saw the social clip because famously my favorite way to digest podcasts in 30 second clips on Instagram and TikTok and we did a follow.

[SPEAKER_01]: He followed back.

[SPEAKER_01]: We got into DMs.

[SPEAKER_01]: We got a cute little coffee very friendly coffee session and I just also just ran into him on the West Side Highway yesterday.

[SPEAKER_00]: Okay, so I think I know if I'm wrong, it's going to be more to find for me because it's no, is it a horny, is it a horny answer of who it is?

[SPEAKER_01]: it's always a horny answer could it this could have been it could have been I don't know you could have been interviewing like I don't know I was trying to think of the most like non-horny person and I would still make it horny Well, and that's why again your mishpucho because I'm also a horny gay Jew.

[SPEAKER_00]: Um, I think it was [SPEAKER_00]: at hung Jewish.

[SPEAKER_01]: No, but you want to know the story about that one.

[SPEAKER_01]: Wait, what is that will you with this pod?

[SPEAKER_01]: Has he been on this pod?

[SPEAKER_00]: Because I know, but I've DMed him about coming on and I have a memory that the last time you did this podcast, I brought up that you were a star of David Neckless.

[SPEAKER_00]: This is what I love.

[SPEAKER_01]: the same star and there was a conspiracy on the internet thinking that it was me.

[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, exactly.

[SPEAKER_00]: So that's so, and for anybody who doesn't know who I'm talking about, Hung Jewish is on Twitter and he is a very sexy, obviously Jewish, and obviously Hung content creator who never shows his face.

[SPEAKER_00]: But what does he show?

[SPEAKER_00]: Hot Harry Pax, Perfectic, and Jake, I thought that you would tell me that like, [SPEAKER_00]: When we talked about him, that was your first on-trade to hung Jewish.

[SPEAKER_00]: That's why I thought maybe you had to hit him on the...

I mean, I thought you ran into him on the west side highway.

[SPEAKER_01]: No, but since then, we've had plenty of on-trades.

[SPEAKER_01]: Um, oh, but, no, this is another...

I'm not gonna say that.

[SPEAKER_00]: Who is?

[SPEAKER_01]: Guy Wath.

[SPEAKER_00]: Oh my god.

[SPEAKER_00]: Okay, talk about chaotic gauges.

[SPEAKER_00]: That is a, that is my middle name.

[SPEAKER_00]: I'm like, I don't know.

[SPEAKER_00]: I don't know.

[SPEAKER_00]: I think you and Guy Wolf have different levels of chaos, and I'm not saying that from a judgemental place.

[SPEAKER_00]: I'm just saying it from, again, to give context Guy Wolf did our horny bonus series on Substack, and he is head to toe hairy king.

[SPEAKER_00]: slutty king and and yeah, people very much enjoyed his interview Wait, so have you bumped Hum says with both hung Jewish and guy wolf?

[SPEAKER_00]: No [SPEAKER_00]: Not only hung Jewish, have you hooked up with?

[SPEAKER_00]: Yes.

[SPEAKER_00]: It's safe to say that, because nobody knows what he's like, I mean, he's...

I don't know what he's like.

[SPEAKER_01]: I don't know what he's like.

[SPEAKER_01]: I don't know what he's like.

[SPEAKER_01]: People are quite the sleuth, but yes.

[SPEAKER_01]: Wow, Jake already with some big headlines.

[SPEAKER_01]: But also, say, now we're just like friends.

[SPEAKER_01]: It's become like quite platonic.

[SPEAKER_01]: I think he's amazing.

[SPEAKER_01]: He's really like integrated in a lot of my friend group.

[SPEAKER_00]: Amazing.

[SPEAKER_00]: I love that and don't you love how gay guys can like, you know, see what's under the hood to start and then once we do the oil change We can sort of just enjoy the joy right after that [SPEAKER_00]: Wow, a poet, a poet.

[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, exactly.

[SPEAKER_01]: I think that's that's who knew I was.

[SPEAKER_00]: I saw the world through mechanics of cars, but here I am You jacou and see the world through gorgeous gay, slutty chaos, food, Jew diesma, and you have a book coming out September 30th.

[SPEAKER_00]: It is called dinner party animal.

[SPEAKER_00]: I'm just so fuck.

[SPEAKER_00]: I cavel every time I see your face on my internet.

[SPEAKER_00]: on my screen because you first came on this pod to promote Jewish the New York Times bestselling book, then you came out with I could nosh, you have your third book coming out.

[SPEAKER_00]: And obviously I want to ask about some of the books stuff, the food stuff, but I feel like since it's been so long since you came on, I want to re-ask the podcast question, Jake Cohen.

[SPEAKER_00]: tell me whose fault is it that you're gay?

[SPEAKER_01]: Who do we blame babe?

[SPEAKER_01]: So I'll give I'm gonna give two answers and really I think it and I you were like oh you give the same answer as the last time I don't remember what it was I don't know if you have the um if you have the [SPEAKER_01]: It's in the reality television sphere.

[SPEAKER_01]: I would say on one end, it was real world's Dustin Zito.

[SPEAKER_01]: Do you remember he was the one who was like, hooking up with this girl, and then it came out that he was doing gay for pay porn.

[SPEAKER_01]: And it was this whole thing.

[SPEAKER_01]: He was part of this, I don't even remember what was the name of the collective was very much like a frax-like hype house of guys that would just like, [SPEAKER_01]: Do you go off with each other?

[SPEAKER_01]: I do remember him and that would like because I was like, oh, I have to see This porn that they're talking about and then not kind of open up the world of like Frappoy porn for me, which sure sure, but then they're a couple [SPEAKER_00]: But I need to investigate this one.

[SPEAKER_00]: Okay, so Dustin Zito, he was on the real world.

[SPEAKER_00]: If he was a merge for the gay for pay, did your research tell you that he was just a straight guy making money in his gay face.

[SPEAKER_00]: I think he was 100% just gay for pay.

[SPEAKER_00]: Okay, and then like I'll you into the frat porn of it all, would you say that you are still turned on by frat?

[SPEAKER_00]: Greek life, 100%.

[SPEAKER_01]: Oh, 100%.

[SPEAKER_01]: We're a big fan of University of Michigan.

[SPEAKER_01]: I like, hey, okay, um, okay, well, what's the second reason for making you guys the second one also in the reality television sphere is Tiffany Pollard who I think is like New York is the blueprint for reality TV.

[SPEAKER_01]: And I think what she taught me as I would remember I would come home.

[SPEAKER_01]: My sister and I would come home from Hebrew school.

[SPEAKER_01]: on Sunday and at like we set the DVR for flavor of love.

[SPEAKER_01]: And VH1 had this weird thing where the new episode would come out that night, but they would air it in the middle of the day of like the release day.

[SPEAKER_01]: So it would be on my DVR so we get back from Hebrew school and watch the new episode of flavor of love.

[SPEAKER_01]: And we were obsessed.

[SPEAKER_01]: This was like barbed up to the age date.

[SPEAKER_00]: And she had education.

[SPEAKER_00]: Learning Sunday school, the blessings from God, and then the blessings from God as Tiffany Pollard.

[SPEAKER_01]: Exactly.

[SPEAKER_01]: She is the one who taught me that I'm the main character.

[SPEAKER_01]: She is the blueprint for main character energy.

[SPEAKER_01]: And I think that that is such a huge part of gay culture, gay life, um, just like my chicken general.

[SPEAKER_01]: So she was so influential with that.

[SPEAKER_01]: Because I saw that and I was like, oh, this is me.

[SPEAKER_01]: I got this.

[SPEAKER_01]: And then it just snowballed with like Neenie Leaks and and Jill Zarrin and all of these housewives and reality stars was like, uh, I think I'm the main character and everyone else's story.

[SPEAKER_00]: Well, I think you've got confirmation that you are the main character because then Jill's Aaron herself became your girlina where you're cooking over a fucking pot of multiple soup and whatever.

[SPEAKER_00]: Well, she's in the new book, she's in the new book and I have to say that your gay side in your Jewish side has a beautiful complementation, which is not a word, but I think that [SPEAKER_00]: Um, sometimes they're at odds and I want to get into the at odds of it all as a gauge journalist because the the gain is yes main character we love to take up space after being told for so long that we should hide in the shadows were freaks we don't deserve happiness fine.

[SPEAKER_00]: Now we're trying to to emerge as these proud, loud people.

[SPEAKER_00]: On the other side though I feel like as Jews sure we can be loud, passionate main characters in a sense we're also constantly afraid that we need to flee our homeland.

[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, and there's so much anxiety and stress.

[SPEAKER_00]: In fact, you said in an interview that your mantra is everything works out for me.

[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, tell me Jake Cohen as a neurotic gave you myself.

[SPEAKER_00]: That mantra seems counter to our generational trauma.

[SPEAKER_00]: How did you learn to believe that everything works out?

[SPEAKER_01]: I'm telling you before we started this, I got a, I called my mother and it was, she's like, oh my god, I miss you.

[SPEAKER_01]: You've been dodging my calls and I'm just some really stress right now going into to book promo and press and this is something that it happens every time and I'm very much aware of what I need energy wise.

[SPEAKER_01]: And at the end of the day, she is, [SPEAKER_01]: her and my grandmother are chaos and anxiety incarnate all they do is that I pick up oh my god this person and that person can you believe your arms can you believe your sister and I just I can't I can't [SPEAKER_01]: I can't welcome that energy.

[SPEAKER_01]: That being said, about a year and a half ago, I got very into Wu Wu, like everything.

[SPEAKER_01]: I'm big into like Abraham Hicks manifestation.

[SPEAKER_01]: I did the Hoffman process.

[SPEAKER_01]: I'm big into artist's way.

[SPEAKER_01]: Anything that is about wellness meditation, positive intentional thinking, being your best self and like bringing more positivity into your life.

[SPEAKER_01]: So that was [SPEAKER_01]: not easy that everything works out for me is not an easy one there are a couple I have like everything works out for me I don't chase I'm I attract a big one is I'm the prize so it's like what happens with guys like the the big thing as I'm like dating because I'm single and this is [SPEAKER_01]: kind of the first this past year has been my first time single since I've been out because I've just like always been in a relationship.

[SPEAKER_01]: I was very much like a long-term relationship person and so like the big mantra is like there's nothing more unattractive in a man than not being obsessed with me and so it's so I think that you have to just just kind of repeat these things over and over and oh it's why they call it mantra.

[SPEAKER_01]: It's not supposed to be something called easy [SPEAKER_00]: I cling to mantras with a white knuckle.

[SPEAKER_00]: I mean, when I first started to learn about the strength of positive thinking, I would repeat the same thing to myself as I fell asleep, but it wasn't like I am the prize.

[SPEAKER_00]: It was more like, you're okay.

[SPEAKER_00]: You're gonna be full.

[SPEAKER_00]: It was, I just have like, I came from such a scarcity mindset, and I've really tried to work at [SPEAKER_00]: the feelings of abundance and that everything is working out because yeah at my core I am very much I come from people who it's always what's wrong of course we complain about physically what we cannot be successful unless we're deeply anxious [SPEAKER_00]: The like this is happiness and success does not come without a great cost and so I'm trying to yeah I'm merge as someone who is taking clearly whatever fucking drugs that fell out of those books You were reading.

[SPEAKER_00]: What's the Hawthorne of it all?

[SPEAKER_01]: Hoffman the Hoffman process.

[SPEAKER_01]: Oh my god.

[SPEAKER_01]: It's the thing that like Katy Perry swears by it's it's like weeklong retreat and they take your phone and it's very much ritualized therapy for [SPEAKER_01]: Recognizing the patterns you inherited from your parents and your childhood and creating rich will to help create new neural pathways to rewire yourself.

[SPEAKER_00]: Fuck yeah.

[SPEAKER_00]: So it sounds like you could do a week of the Hoffman process, which I know everybody's wondering how much it costs.

[SPEAKER_00]: I found it already.

[SPEAKER_00]: The tuition is $6,200.

[SPEAKER_00]: It gives you a lot of meal on the next.

[SPEAKER_00]: But it also sounds like a week and on mushrooms that also helps kind of change my neural pathways.

[SPEAKER_00]: big on psychedelics.

[SPEAKER_01]: Last night I went to to Mayhem Ball to Gaga.

[SPEAKER_00]: I liked my dog.

[SPEAKER_01]: I just waited way too many shrumes and I had like, I don't think it's where I have all having non-stop revelations.

[SPEAKER_01]: I was just like not the vibe, but it's just like all of a sudden I'm thinking I'm looking at this.

[SPEAKER_01]: I think you're about worthy to give up the book.

[SPEAKER_01]: I see this old woman.

[SPEAKER_01]: I think you're about my grandmother.

[SPEAKER_01]: It was, it was, it was love.

[SPEAKER_00]: I love I do as well.

[SPEAKER_00]: I think it's I think for people like us who are trying to just constantly find a sense of peace.

[SPEAKER_00]: I think it does remind us that the world is bigger than just our neuroses, but obviously as someone who is in a single part of his life for the first time in many years, I want to dive into that because one of my questions was how would you how would you say your life has changed the most since you first did this podcast in 2021?

[SPEAKER_00]: And I would say that's a pretty big deal because you and your ex [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.

[SPEAKER_00]: So that's like, you know, a child bride in our community.

[SPEAKER_00]: How long were you with your ex husband if you don't mind me asking?

[SPEAKER_00]: Uh, just under a decade.

[SPEAKER_00]: Wow.

[SPEAKER_00]: So you, and then when did the split happen?

[SPEAKER_00]: How long have you been single?

[SPEAKER_00]: Just over a year.

[SPEAKER_00]: Wow.

[SPEAKER_00]: So you really are in this like metamorphosis of sort of seeing the world through single lies for the first time.

[SPEAKER_00]: Um, would you say that people react differently to a gay divorce than what you've observed and people were linked to straight divorce?

[SPEAKER_00]: Because gay marriage is still relatively new.

[SPEAKER_01]: You know, I think everyone is weird about any kind of relationship.

[SPEAKER_01]: I at the end of the day, everyone wants to be in everyone else's business.

[SPEAKER_01]: They love to project.

[SPEAKER_01]: I think that's the wildest thing is having any type of public persona.

[SPEAKER_01]: I'm glad that I found my niche in terms of cooking because I think that the majority of my [SPEAKER_01]: Like the idea of fame is through this lens of recipes or books where people come up to me and it's typically not I love you It's I love your cookbook and that's what I love But yeah, I think about the probably this probably this so I mean when I'm and I've known I like I have this was like beginning I feel like we started on social media together and I remember [SPEAKER_01]: like having breakfast with Bow and knowing them, you know, I don't know that way.

[SPEAKER_01]: Don't know them.

[SPEAKER_01]: They're friends with a lot of people that I don't really like.

[SPEAKER_01]: So it's like, I'm not, I'm not like, I don't really have anything to say other than I wish them both well, relationships are tough.

[SPEAKER_01]: They go through this like, it's so tough when you integrate work and love.

[SPEAKER_01]: And I couldn't ever imagine doing it.

[SPEAKER_01]: And I see so many couples that keep relationships that really should end going [SPEAKER_00]: And oh god, well I got into your point that I probably probably brought them up because you said that So many people on the internet like to weigh in especially when it comes to a relationship ending and what they received in terms of everybody Deciding who cheated why they why their relationship ended based on a short video was to me [SPEAKER_00]: crazy crazy and you got that hot exclusive you got to get it to lose a chick going well yeah i mean i've actually i've known them like you know just the same as you but then again you know them or if you have you hung out with them in person [SPEAKER_01]: I've not hung out with them.

[SPEAKER_00]: Well, they're a women person once.

[SPEAKER_00]: But we have to stop.

[SPEAKER_01]: All these gay people, Fagots need to stop acting like they know people that they like their things on Instagram, just because you follow each other does not mean you know them.

[SPEAKER_01]: That's the issue with these power social relationships.

[SPEAKER_01]: Everyone thinks they know each other.

[SPEAKER_01]: Nobody knows anything.

[SPEAKER_01]: And so you just have to give grace that people are doing their thing and you have grown to love the idea of the person that you see online, but until you are with them with cameras off in a room, doing God knows what you don't own.

[SPEAKER_00]: you don't know me um uh you when you and your ex broke up you kind of seem to navigate it in the healthy way of like keeping it off of social media for quite a long time.

[SPEAKER_01]: He deserves nothing but privacy nothing but respect.

[SPEAKER_01]: This is my life now moving forward.

[SPEAKER_01]: And I will never disrespect him or the relationship in that way, and because there was such beauty and I'm so grateful that it's so like preserved in my first two books and now I'm really in this place where it's it's about this next chapter and that's about it.

[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, well, and there's a lot, I think that we can talk about when it comes to marriage, especially within the gay community.

[SPEAKER_00]: In fact, you set on Aaron Lee, she's podcast that you think a lot of gay men stay in sexless relationships longer because we have a lot more band-aids.

[SPEAKER_00]: Would you say more about that?

[SPEAKER_00]: What do you say those band-aids are?

[SPEAKER_01]: It's the openness.

[SPEAKER_01]: I mean, listen, I just came back from my two-week, my annual two-week [SPEAKER_01]: you see a lot of funny enough.

[SPEAKER_01]: This happens.

[SPEAKER_01]: I got a good anecdote.

[SPEAKER_01]: I love an anecdote.

[SPEAKER_01]: This happens all the time.

[SPEAKER_01]: First time I get, I get to pee town, hit up the grid, which is something that I'm trying to wien off when I'm in New York.

[SPEAKER_01]: I try not to be on it so much.

[SPEAKER_01]: I'm not doing so great at that right at the moment, but in general I delete the app, and I only use it when I'm out of town.

[SPEAKER_01]: So, [SPEAKER_01]: We're in Ptown, we check out the grid, see this cute boy, we're talking, we're like, let's hook up, all this stuff.

[SPEAKER_01]: And then we couldn't make it a time happen that first night because I was there with my roommates, with their partners, one of whom is straight, so he was there with his girlfriend.

[SPEAKER_01]: And so it was just this whole thing of us having this beautiful first half of the trip where it was just like this wholesome experience, and then I told them, [SPEAKER_01]: get the fuck out on Wednesday, your room's going to Brian Derek.

[SPEAKER_01]: It's time to rage.

[SPEAKER_01]: Um, and what happened was, is he was like, let's hang out tomorrow.

[SPEAKER_01]: Let's go out for coffee.

[SPEAKER_01]: And I woke up.

[SPEAKER_01]: I was like, I'm going on a run.

[SPEAKER_01]: You want to join me?

[SPEAKER_01]: He's like, yeah.

[SPEAKER_01]: So we go on this cute little run.

[SPEAKER_01]: We go to the coffee shop on commercial and are just talking.

[SPEAKER_01]: And he's telling you this story about how he's there with his friends, where this couple.

[SPEAKER_01]: And like he hooked up with [SPEAKER_01]: And I pretty much give him this whole speel.

[SPEAKER_01]: Very much all my who I'm very much of myself help era And I think I might be a cult leader at some point But I gave him this kind of whole thing about my viewpoint which is a lot of these relationships Of kind of turn more into like platonic partnerships and they're outsourcing so much of their intimacy Which is again not [SPEAKER_01]: I'm not saying that that's not going to be always part of the evolution of a relationship is is you're not going to be in that same honeymoon phase of passion.

[SPEAKER_01]: That being said, I think more often than not we're seeing open relationships be this, uh, [SPEAKER_01]: ability to postpone addressing kind of the core issues in relationships, and literally this, then a few days later I got a message from this boy being like, he hooked up with the guy again, it blew up, he confessed his love, it was like, I want to leave my husband for you, all this stuff, he was like, and again, we also didn't really vibe that well in person, like in the way where I was just, it was just like more like friendly than passion.

[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, and and he's like, thank you so much because that our pep talk kind of like guided him through such a chaotic situation and I I'm very much a big believer.

[SPEAKER_01]: I'll give you a teach you a little word.

[SPEAKER_01]: This is the word of the year for me, mock tube.

[SPEAKER_01]: it's a Hebrew word Arabic word and it just means like it's already written and it's a big believer in like divine timing, destiny, all of that, it's already written.

[SPEAKER_01]: So it's like we were meant to meet for the sole purpose of me giving you this pep talk to help navigate this chaotic situation.

[SPEAKER_01]: And that was like a crazy story to say, [SPEAKER_01]: that often times you meet someone cute on the dance floor you're vibing and the second question has to be and where's your boyfriend or where's your husband because they're always running around somewhere.

[SPEAKER_00]: Do you think that gate couples then do that more so than straight couples?

[SPEAKER_00]: Do you think that straight couples get divorced earlier if they know they're it's not working because they don't have the outsourcing like we do?

[SPEAKER_01]: You want here one of my crazy hottakes, give us a minute.

[SPEAKER_01]: All right, so I think all gay men need to be tagged like cattle.

[SPEAKER_01]: Like we all need our ears, like we need little like things and says like coupled or single.

[SPEAKER_01]: And if you are coupled, you could be in an open relationship, but you're only allowed to approach other open guys.

[SPEAKER_01]: And if you're single, you can approach whoever you want.

[SPEAKER_01]: Because if you want to choose that energy, God bless.

[SPEAKER_01]: But what I think is that open couples cannot be chasing single men.

[SPEAKER_01]: Because at the end of the day, this is what happens.

[SPEAKER_01]: It's creating this loop where you have all these emotionally unavailable single men who are throwing themselves in between relationships that are supposed to be undone.

[SPEAKER_01]: But aren't because they have their emotionally unavailable sidepiece.

[SPEAKER_01]: And it just like continues to continue to continue to continue to continue to continue to.

[SPEAKER_00]: way, way, way, the emotionally unavailable sidepiece, are you saying that is their spouse?

[SPEAKER_01]: No, no, that's the, that's the single third.

[SPEAKER_01]: Is that you in this scenario?

[SPEAKER_01]: It could be, but it isn't because there is nothing more unattractive than a vet that isn't obsessed with me and you can't be obsessed with me if you have to go hold into your husband.

[SPEAKER_00]: Oh, what about, okay, then are you are you in your dating era?

[SPEAKER_00]: Are you still in your slot era?

[SPEAKER_00]: Oh, are you trying are you?

[SPEAKER_01]: I think I'm in the place now where I'm still in my slot era, but that's kind of coming to an end.

[SPEAKER_01]: I kind of like have had a [SPEAKER_01]: I have an end date, I've really kind of planned it out.

[SPEAKER_01]: I mean, what's the end date that you're studying?

[SPEAKER_01]: I'm going back to Berlin for snacks in November.

[SPEAKER_01]: And I think that's going to be the end.

[SPEAKER_01]: I think that's going to get the rest of it out of my system and then after that, I hope you have an end.

[SPEAKER_01]: What is snacks?

[SPEAKER_01]: It's like the, it's one of the two weekends a year where lab and bird kind are connected and women aren't allowed.

[SPEAKER_01]: it is as chaotic.

[SPEAKER_01]: It was literally my first foray really into Nightlife was I like was thrown into the deep end of that.

[SPEAKER_01]: I went on a whim alone and had the craziest weekend for you.

[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.

[SPEAKER_00]: I mean listen all I want to do is go to Berlin and sort of you know unlearn my shame and sexual repression but you I can't let you give a hot take without me sort of trying [SPEAKER_00]: open relationships are only allowed to go for other people in open relationships.

[SPEAKER_00]: Correct.

[SPEAKER_00]: Correct.

[SPEAKER_00]: Single people are allowed to go for whomever they would like.

[SPEAKER_00]: Yes.

[SPEAKER_00]: Now, do you think that that is a dictatorship if you're saying what married open people are allowed to do?

[SPEAKER_00]: Do you think that takes away any of their rights?

[SPEAKER_01]: If they want more rights, they should break up with their partner.

[SPEAKER_01]: I'm like, I'm sorry, if they have, they're so in love.

[SPEAKER_01]: Oh, that stuff, then it shouldn't be an issue.

[SPEAKER_00]: Well, I think part of your argument here is that you think that people who are in long-term relationships that are open, that are not intimate with each other, they're using their openness as a band aid for the lack of intimacy that they have, are you saying that you think that a sexless relationship [SPEAKER_00]: is a relationship that should not still be a union.

[SPEAKER_00]: I am not because that's a generalization.

[SPEAKER_01]: What I'm saying is anecdotally I have seen many relationships that I have been dealing with one or both of the couples.

[SPEAKER_01]: And it's a very much like a Rob Anderson, like one hot, one ugly situation.

[SPEAKER_01]: Oh, I remember that.

[SPEAKER_01]: And where that is more so the case where they're actually, [SPEAKER_01]: Not really in love anymore that being said.

[SPEAKER_01]: I I it's not like I don't believe in ethical non-monogamy It's not like I don't see the beauty of it and how so many different couples make it work And on top of that would you be in one would you be in an open relationship?

[SPEAKER_01]: You know, I I I think this single era like it's spooky.

[SPEAKER_01]: I don't think I want that [SPEAKER_01]: I don't think I want that.

[SPEAKER_01]: I think this is like you do want to get married again.

[SPEAKER_01]: I don't know.

[SPEAKER_01]: I'll never say never, but I think right now I just want it's funny.

[SPEAKER_01]: I think when I've been like painting out who is my next partner.

[SPEAKER_01]: There are so many different categories.

[SPEAKER_01]: Obviously there has to be a foundation of like [SPEAKER_01]: attraction and passion and sexual compatibility.

[SPEAKER_01]: I think it's so important and we kind of forget about that because we're just looking for oftentimes.

[SPEAKER_01]: It's either one of the other either it's just sexual compatibility and it's nothing else or it's they're so good on paper and they have the job and they build up the lifestyle and the...

[SPEAKER_01]: I wanted all because it's part of the manifestation thing is I'm going to attract it all They have to be passionate.

[SPEAKER_01]: I don't care what they do, but I feel like it's going to be something in the creative world And they just have to love what they do.

[SPEAKER_01]: I don't care I don't care how much money they may have they just have to be so fulfilled by their job [SPEAKER_01]: or they're like, they're, they're creative about their creative passion and then like they have to have experience in a long-term relationship.

[SPEAKER_01]: They either have to be another divorcee or have been in a multiple year relationship because at the end of the day, it is a muscle that [SPEAKER_01]: I'm not looking to be anyone's teacher through their first long term relationship.

[SPEAKER_01]: Oh, and then the most important thing right now that they have to have gone through their Saturn return like I'm I will not be dating anyone who's about to go through their Saturn return Not for me [SPEAKER_00]: But once they're through it, let's go.

[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, you want them to return having learned the lessons and then they are there.

[SPEAKER_00]: And then let's see, let's see if we live.

[SPEAKER_00]: And then let's see, yeah, I love that.

[SPEAKER_00]: And I think that it's, I love a J.

Cohen hot take, but I also love that you are so open to talking about [SPEAKER_00]: uh something as quote unquote taboo as divorce and so I just want to do one more question because it really is something I find interesting especially as a fellow Jew that feel like our community is so focused on family and tradition was it particularly hard to separate from your husband knowing that [SPEAKER_00]: there is such an emphasis on family and community and you would be sort of stepping away from a quote-unquote community in your life.

[SPEAKER_01]: I mean, of course, I mean, any change in any change like that is going to be difficult, especially since I am such like a family focused person.

[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.

[SPEAKER_01]: It was, there was nothing about it that was a difficult.

[SPEAKER_00]: Do you think that's what led to part of your woundness as you needed to sort of find a new sense of self by connecting to the universe and trusting the plan?

[SPEAKER_01]: Having been in multiple long term relationships, I've always found support through a partner, and this was the first time that I was truly on my own.

[SPEAKER_01]: I was lacking so much self-love and self-worth because I put so much of emphasis on that and that's very much ingrained in us from our community, from society at large, in moreviness through having a partner.

[SPEAKER_01]: And when you don't, it is a feeling of failure and I was not going to subscribe to that anymore.

[SPEAKER_00]: good for you.

[SPEAKER_00]: I do think that a huge part of growth as a person, especially as a gay person, is just realizing what your value is.

[SPEAKER_00]: And I think that I, a lot of times search for my value through either like podcast downloads or a career win or what, and none of the matters.

[SPEAKER_00]: None of that matters.

[SPEAKER_00]: That's what I'm really learning is like honestly the more quote unquote successful [SPEAKER_00]: that I used to be too afraid to do.

[SPEAKER_00]: Honestly, the more like, uh, I grapple with my sense of value because I thought that I would feel more valuable, the more things were growing professionally, but of course, that's not the case.

[SPEAKER_00]: So it's been a big, mind-fucked to be like, oh my god.

[SPEAKER_00]: I need to build myself up and not get it from my partner, or from the metrics, or from the career shit, and it's really, it's been a, like, brutal, but important lesson that I'm very much in the middle of.

[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, I mean, listen, I...

[SPEAKER_01]: This is the first time around going through a book launch where I haven't put my entire self worth on how it does because the last time around it actually really wasn't fun for me.

[SPEAKER_01]: I was a mess.

[SPEAKER_01]: I put so much pressure myself to make the times list again and I was a nightmare and then I made it and nothing changed when I made it.

[SPEAKER_01]: it's not like all of a sudden like I was flooded with serotonin life goes on right and I'm the same whether I do it or not my worth is not tied to this artist for the artist and I and I think very much these books this one especially this is by far my favorite cookbook everton I think it is so magical it's a [SPEAKER_01]: The recipes are perfect.

[SPEAKER_01]: I have cameos from my friends and family.

[SPEAKER_01]: So it's like everyone is in this book from my grandmother to Deborah Messing and Benny Blanco and Katie Kirk and Judy Gold and it's just like every single person in my life is documented in this book in a way that is so important to me because it's the snapshot of the last two years of my life.

[SPEAKER_00]: Uh, which is a beautiful celebration, I think, of the community that you have grown through food.

[SPEAKER_00]: I was telling someone, I was hanging out with a friend last night and I was like, yeah, I'm interviewing Jay Cohen tomorrow again, and I'm so excited.

[SPEAKER_00]: Um, and they were like, who?

[SPEAKER_00]: He definitely knows who you are but I actually brought up the Katie Kirk up at all.

[SPEAKER_00]: I was like it's crazy Like oh, I was talking about your journey from like, you know I started following him on Instagram and then I remember I didn't tell you this but when I interviewed you four years ago I barely slept the night before I was so nervous to interview you.

[SPEAKER_00]: I was like he is [SPEAKER_00]: this like successful, funny, hot, gay Jew that I look up to, and I was just like, I had really a lack of confidence about a lot of things.

[SPEAKER_00]: But I remember just like, feeling so neurotic about the whole thing, and it's been nice to look at the growth for all these years to be like, now I'm only feeling excitement to be able to chat with you in this way.

[SPEAKER_00]: But I think that part of...

[SPEAKER_00]: The excitement is that you have grown your community.

[SPEAKER_00]: And I told this friend that Katie Kirk was just like, so many all of a sudden we're like, you know, cooking with on Instagram, out of nowhere.

[SPEAKER_00]: And I was like, this is just a beautiful, like, a young gay boy now besties with Jill's Aaron and Katie Kirk.

[SPEAKER_00]: Speaking of icons, because this book is called dinner party animal.

[SPEAKER_00]: I want us to fantasize about a dinner party that you will throw where you can only invite icons okay legends but the twist they're all dead they're no longer with us who are you inviting to your dead icons meal and what are you serving oh my god okay let's think about this uh uh uh uh [SPEAKER_01]: I'm trying to think of who said, uh, let's do famous dead Jews.

[SPEAKER_01]: We'll throw an Amy wine house for the hell of it.

[SPEAKER_01]: I just feel like it's fine.

[SPEAKER_00]: Wait, did you do it?

[SPEAKER_01]: Yes, girl.

[SPEAKER_01]: Oh, girl.

[SPEAKER_01]: Oh, my god.

[SPEAKER_01]: I'm that that's always like, that's the number one thing when you talk to anyone who's obsessed with Judaism and pop culture.

[SPEAKER_01]: The first thing is, well, you know, they're Jewish or they're half Jewish or they're married to a Jew or this or that.

[SPEAKER_00]: Um, okay, so we'll throw her, you know who also, who also was dead that was a [SPEAKER_01]: Of course, he has to come because he's funny.

[SPEAKER_01]: We need some laughs.

[SPEAKER_01]: Um, we'll do that.

[SPEAKER_01]: We'll do, we'll do, sometime.

[SPEAKER_01]: I'm not a music.

[SPEAKER_01]: I hate music with theater.

[SPEAKER_01]: I really like to do another hot take.

[SPEAKER_01]: Oh, you want to hear the craziest part about going to Mayhem Ball is, and I was I'm again, she is my diva, like she was like my everything as a teenager, all the stuff, and I'm there this time, and obviously these are all songs I love, and yet I had a different connection to it than I did the last time I was there, which was like the board of the sway ball.

[SPEAKER_01]: And, and I realized that I'm looking around like these are all [SPEAKER_01]: like like that's it like like the gaga fan makes like they're all theater kids He says with just day.

[SPEAKER_00]: No, no, but it's like it's like he's or not.

[SPEAKER_01]: I think now it that's why I went to Brat 4 times as I'm in my club kid monster era.

[SPEAKER_01]: I always say my my friends that I refer to is like I'm in like my my goblin era Yeah, okay, so who else we got that we got two [SPEAKER_00]: Uh, I'm also still a child.

[SPEAKER_00]: Oh, Julia Child.

[SPEAKER_01]: Julia Child, Drew Mitchell.

[SPEAKER_00]: Exactly.

[SPEAKER_01]: There we go.

[SPEAKER_01]: We'll throw it Julia Child and who's a good like movie star?

[SPEAKER_01]: I was like an icon.

[SPEAKER_01]: Oh, Robin Williams.

[SPEAKER_01]: Sure.

[SPEAKER_01]: Why not now?

[SPEAKER_01]: Wouldn't be my first pick, but like I'll take it.

[SPEAKER_01]: Brittany Murphy, Brittany Murphy, Brittany Murphy, you got it, you got it, that's it.

[SPEAKER_01]: So great, wait, you never asked me the character actress thing that you prompted me to.

[SPEAKER_00]: Well, let's do that now because that's going to be the final question before we actually move this interview over to Substack where I'm going to ask you my hornea sludius question.

[SPEAKER_00]: Okay.

[SPEAKER_00]: So let's do the final question for the main pod before we go over to Slotville, USA.

[SPEAKER_00]: J.

Cohen, if the world was ending, you could only save one, character actress.

[SPEAKER_00]: Who would you save?

[SPEAKER_01]: There's only one answer, and I really think that we don't give her the credits she deserves.

[SPEAKER_01]: It's Tony Collette.

[SPEAKER_01]: Tony Colette is everything, murals wedding.

[SPEAKER_01]: Come on, like I'm obsessed with Abba.

[SPEAKER_01]: She is the one who like really started that for me to then go from that into Academy Award nominee for six cents, but, but, let's be real.

[SPEAKER_01]: The best role she's ever taken on other than television because obviously United States Tara was iconic, but, sure, Connie and Carla.

[SPEAKER_01]: I thought yeah, I thought you were gonna say like her part in knives out where she was like a fucking Woo, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no [SPEAKER_00]: I have seen this movie, but it's been so many years.

[SPEAKER_00]: You can't find it.

[SPEAKER_00]: You don't really want it.

[SPEAKER_01]: All I wanted to do was find it to show to my house and in in P-town.

[SPEAKER_01]: And it was impossible.

[SPEAKER_01]: Uh, wait.

[SPEAKER_00]: So we didn't need the drop dead gorgeous of twenty twenty five.

[SPEAKER_00]: Because I don't know if you remember, but drop dead gorgeous.

[SPEAKER_00]: We could not get anywhere.

[SPEAKER_00]: I had to like buy a fucking DVD off of eBay.

[SPEAKER_00]: But now they finally put it on.

[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.

[SPEAKER_00]: But now Connie and Carla.

[SPEAKER_00]: And for anybody who wants to remind or need of our dollars as in my big back regretting with Tony Colette and then there's David DeCuffney, yes, a Debbie Reynolds speaking of that eye calling.

[SPEAKER_00]: Alec Mapa, Gallina, it is absolutely worth it.

[SPEAKER_00]: You know what, we need to do a true crime then deep dive into finding where we can watch Connie and Carla or yeah.

[SPEAKER_00]: By the way, Tony Colette is a stunning answer, and she is not only the character actress worth saving, but I would hazard a thought to say that she made us gay as well.

[SPEAKER_00]: I completely, completely as the mother in the sixth sense.

[SPEAKER_01]: No, no, no, no, no, murals wedding is a story of coming to your power.

[SPEAKER_01]: Through Abba, there is nothing gayer than that.

[SPEAKER_01]: The idea of being this person who doesn't think they're worthy of love, [SPEAKER_01]: straight and then all of a sudden gig barred to this hot fucking man.

[SPEAKER_01]: I like I'm sorry that is yeah that's it.

[SPEAKER_01]: I mean we as gay people deserve to be dicked down with Abba in the back round and that is and I am I'm like obsessed with them Australian like when I tell you Australian men that it's I just will one after the other I can't get enough.

[SPEAKER_00]: meaning you keep fucking australian man you don't want to answer that we're gonna be in love with them oh sure well we're gonna keep the next of my uh...

horny gauge on list questions for the sub stack so uh...

jico and while we have you here in the main pod will you please tell our listeners where to follow where they can get this stunning new book [SPEAKER_01]: Yes, you're following me at J.

Cohen, this book, dinner party animal, wherever books are sold.

[SPEAKER_01]: Oh, especially signed copies on all store it, incredible queer bookstore that really helps the community.

[SPEAKER_01]: But more importantly, it has 16 menus for any type of dinner party from bagel branches to every night dinners to your Thanksgiving with grocery less timeline, the recipes are amazing.

[SPEAKER_01]: They're dinner party questions from everyone from [SPEAKER_01]: a former guest on the pod, Brian Derrick, to Benj Passic and Alex Edelman to Judy Gold and Betty Blanco to Katie Kirk and Taffy Ackner, everyone makes a cameo, it's really fun and I know you're gonna love it because your mother's gonna love it.

[SPEAKER_00]: hell-fuking everybody.

[SPEAKER_00]: It is links in the description.

[SPEAKER_00]: Go follow Jake.

[SPEAKER_00]: Go get the book.

[SPEAKER_00]: And just thank you Jake for continuing to make the world a gay or yummy or sludder place.

[SPEAKER_01]: People are going to be so angry.

[SPEAKER_01]: I mean, I just know.

[SPEAKER_01]: I'm going to about the guy.

[SPEAKER_01]: I'm like, uh, but let them let them cyberbullying me.

[SPEAKER_01]: Whatever.

[SPEAKER_01]: And if you're in an open relationship, God bless.

[SPEAKER_01]: Go with God.

[SPEAKER_01]: I'm not your mother.

[SPEAKER_01]: Do whatever you want.

[SPEAKER_01]: But I'm allowed to [SPEAKER_00]: Stay good.

[SPEAKER_00]: Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha [SPEAKER_00]: Thanks for joining me on that's a gay as podcast, you stupid bitch.

[SPEAKER_00]: If you enjoyed this interview with Jake Cohen, well you should go to Substack to hear the rest of our conversation where he tells us some real slutty tales about some celebrities he has fucked things that he enjoys in the sack and more over at Substack linked in the description.

[SPEAKER_00]: There's also a bonus episode this week with Luke Monday, who is the Harry Sexy King, currently [SPEAKER_00]: and we get to hear all about his sexual life as well.

[SPEAKER_00]: I hope you're taking care of yourself.

[SPEAKER_00]: Happy Virgo season and I'll see you next week.

[SPEAKER_00]: You've been listening to that's a gay ass podcast hosted by me, Eric Williams.

[SPEAKER_00]: If you want to see it here more, make sure you subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, YouTube, and follow the Instagram at gay ass podcast.

[SPEAKER_00]: For more gay asseries, the real girlies are over on Substack where you get bonus episodes every single week and live chats with me and other gay ass guests.

[SPEAKER_00]: That's a gay ass podcast is executive produced by Eric Williams and produced by Nathaniel McClurr.

[SPEAKER_00]: We'll see you next week!