[SPEAKER_00]: Hey, grow squad, so good, so good to connect with you again for our next, for this episode I should say, thank you again for tuning in, thank you for subscribing, thank you for your support, listen, thank you for being you, there's nobody to like you and there's nothing that you can do to change the fact that you're unique, you're powerful, you're special, [SPEAKER_00]: and I'm glad you're here.

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[SPEAKER_00]: Right, atomic habits, different secrets to help you help you understand the power of building habits that will last you a lifetime and that will take you to the next level.

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[SPEAKER_00]: My new ebook is right there on that same side.

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[SPEAKER_00]: So once again, thank you for tuning in.

[SPEAKER_00]: Thank you for being here.

[SPEAKER_00]: Let's keep ready to go.

[SPEAKER_00]: Today we're talking a little bit about [SPEAKER_00]: The secret to success, but from a different angle.

[SPEAKER_00]: We're gonna talk about how you associations and how your friends, even as grown adults, can make up your success.

[SPEAKER_00]: Let's pray God, we thank you for today.

[SPEAKER_00]: We thank you for the fact that we can breathe in and breathe out.

[SPEAKER_00]: Thank you that you have something special for us.

[SPEAKER_00]: and we've accepted that, and now we need tools to walk into it, so help us to intently listen to your voice, and intently follow your directions.

[SPEAKER_00]: More importantly, help us to live each and every day.

[SPEAKER_00]: with you leading, with you guiding, and with you showing us the way.

[SPEAKER_00]: Bless my friend, who may be going through a challenging time.

[SPEAKER_00]: I pray you would give them what they need, the tools that they need as well, to navigate and come out on the other side in your name, a man.

[SPEAKER_00]: The secret to success, how friends and associations, no matter your age can make or break your life.

[SPEAKER_00]: It blows my mind that we oftentimes think that peer pressure is something that's only negative and that it only impacts the little kids.

[SPEAKER_00]: We have all of these programs that we've heard about our whole lives.

[SPEAKER_00]: I mean, when I was a little kid, I don't know if it's still around the dare program, relative [SPEAKER_00]: So you know that people are in the 30s and 40s still dealing with bullies in the 30s and 40s still dealing with peer pressure, negative and all positive, I'm going to say positive what I mean simply mean is I have friends right now.

[SPEAKER_00]: They pressure me to get in shape.

[SPEAKER_00]: Okay, this peer pressure, all right?

[SPEAKER_00]: That they influence me, they encourage me, I should say, to e-write, right?

[SPEAKER_00]: That's a form of pressure, a form of peer pressure, but don't you know that who you choose to hang out with?

[SPEAKER_00]: And I'm gonna say, hang out.

[SPEAKER_00]: I'm gonna talk about it at a bar, or you actually end up presence every day.

[SPEAKER_00]: but you allow who they are, what they have to say.

[SPEAKER_00]: In fact, there are some people that you follow online who you've never met, that you are associated with in their ideas, their thoughts, their decisions, impact you.

[SPEAKER_00]: And we must understand that there's power in allowing our alliances, [SPEAKER_00]: to get so strong in our lives, right, that we don't know how to detach when they're no longer benefiting us makes sense.

[SPEAKER_00]: Have you ever gone through a breakup?

[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.

[SPEAKER_00]: I mean, I'm talking about maybe as a teenage, you had your first real, what they called it, puppy love.

[SPEAKER_00]: You ever been through that?

[SPEAKER_00]: And then you found out something, Irma, one time I had a buddy of mine, who said his girlfriend was cheating on him.

[SPEAKER_00]: Now, we're in high school, I'm like, what do you mean cheating on you, like the young man?

[SPEAKER_00]: Where's what's going on?

[SPEAKER_00]: What's happening?

[SPEAKER_00]: Man, I saw her talking to us through another guy in the library, I'm like, okay.

[SPEAKER_00]: And now they may have been more to the story.

[SPEAKER_00]: I don't know.

[SPEAKER_00]: I didn't stay around and really hear the full details, relative to that, but his heart was broken, right?

[SPEAKER_00]: Because now, instead of staying in that situation, the heat thought was now toxic, right?

[SPEAKER_00]: He had to move on.

[SPEAKER_00]: And sometimes in our lives, we miss out on blessings, we miss out on open doors, we miss out on opportunities because we don't know when to move on.

[SPEAKER_00]: We don't understand, and we don't know how to read the signs.

[SPEAKER_00]: Or let me say it better, because I just told a bold face lot.

[SPEAKER_00]: You know how to read signs?

[SPEAKER_00]: You've just become an expert at ignoring signs.

[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, I just say something there.

[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, you know how to resize you knew you you you can read I mean, I was I was driving the other day down the street going got a pretty good rate of speed and the light I anticipated there's gonna stay green it turned yellow and Before I knew it, I blew through the yellow light.

[SPEAKER_00]: It had turned red as we're going through and my son was like daddy the light was red I couldn't lie.

[SPEAKER_00]: I knew it was gonna turn red [SPEAKER_00]: All right, I ignored the warning sign.

[SPEAKER_00]: It turned yellow before I got to this to the intersection because I made it in my mind that I was going to keep moving forward, keep going, I blew through the sign.

[SPEAKER_00]: So sometimes in life, you gotta think about it.

[SPEAKER_00]: What are some signs that you've ignored?

[SPEAKER_00]: With regard to your alliances, your connections, your friendships, your associations that may be telling you, you know what?

[SPEAKER_00]: If you want to move forward, if you want to grow, if you want to develop a stronger character better character, you've got to disconnect from this group of people.

[SPEAKER_00]: You've got to find a new group of people that are going the same direction you're going.

[SPEAKER_00]: Because I tell young people all the time, I say, listen, man, on these school campuses in these neighborhoods where every you want to go, you can find somebody that's going there.

[SPEAKER_00]: Let me break it down the sound by it because they always, the eyes get buck when I say that.

[SPEAKER_00]: And I say, yeah, if you want to go to college, there's somebody on this campus that's going to college.

[SPEAKER_00]: Why don't you connect with them and see what they're with, what their plan is?

[SPEAKER_00]: And you all can compare notes and say, you know what, let's do it together.

[SPEAKER_00]: There's somebody on this campus, I tell these young people that are going to the military.

[SPEAKER_00]: If you want to go to the military, find out who they are.

[SPEAKER_00]: Befriend them and say, hey, you know what?

[SPEAKER_00]: I'm going to the Air Force as well.

[SPEAKER_00]: Let's work on this thing together.

[SPEAKER_00]: And I know it's funny, and I don't mean to be as direct as I am, but it's my show, so I'll be direct.

[SPEAKER_00]: I say, there's some people who are going jail.

[SPEAKER_00]: that I'm going down the wrong path.

[SPEAKER_00]: Jill may be a little bit harsh.

[SPEAKER_00]: So there's some people who have made up in their minds, I'm going down the wrong, I'm going to go down the wrong path.

[SPEAKER_00]: I don't care if you tell me it's wrong.

[SPEAKER_00]: I don't care what warning signs I hear about or see.

[SPEAKER_00]: I don't care who gets killed.

[SPEAKER_00]: I don't care who, excuse me.

[SPEAKER_00]: I don't care who my life has gone down this path and I didn't work out for them.

[SPEAKER_00]: I'm going to do it.

[SPEAKER_00]: I'm going to be different.

[SPEAKER_00]: I'm the man.

[SPEAKER_00]: I'm the woman.

[SPEAKER_00]: I'm the person that's going to do what I want to do.

[SPEAKER_00]: you have those people.

[SPEAKER_00]: Even as grown adults, you have people who are messy.

[SPEAKER_00]: And if you're not from our community, let me tell you what messy is, they spread, you'll words about people, they spread lies, they enjoy gossiping.

[SPEAKER_00]: But somehow it's going to hurt because you don't [SPEAKER_00]: you will stay connected to them because you don't want them to gossip about you and you didn't even realize they're already doing it.

[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, but you want to stay aligned with them because you want to stay safe, face, and be cool and not not when it's time to move on, even as a grown adult, it's time to move on.

[SPEAKER_00]: There are some things you cannot grow in hanging around the same people.

[SPEAKER_00]: There are some people listening, man.

[SPEAKER_00]: I don't know if you can see it or not, but I've dropped a couple of pounds, right?

[SPEAKER_00]: I had to stop hanging with people who wanted each cheeseburgers all day.

[SPEAKER_00]: Well, I mean, I mean, not a lie.

[SPEAKER_00]: I had to stop eating cheeseburgers with them.

[SPEAKER_00]: Right, when they're going to eat cheeseburgers and french fries and and coax I'm like I'm not going I can't go.

[SPEAKER_00]: I mean I know me if I go there I'm a end up eating what you eating so I'm gonna hang the people who you drink and brought you juice and Sarah Celebrity juice and eating protein all day.

[SPEAKER_00]: That's what I'm gonna do.

[SPEAKER_00]: I'm like being extreme and you know what I'm saying But there's several reasons why people Adults are otherwise Don't feel that they can move on or they should move on from people [SPEAKER_00]: even when they know that this thing is not helped me to grow.

[SPEAKER_00]: The first reason study showed that people feel that they had to stay connected to individuals who no longer serve them well is because of emotional emotional attachment.

[SPEAKER_00]: We've been friends for X amount of years.

[SPEAKER_00]: I can't see moving on, you know, and no longer having that person in my life.

[SPEAKER_00]: I get it.

[SPEAKER_00]: And let me clarify, because I'm not saying that you've got to always cut people out of your life.

[SPEAKER_00]: I'm not saying that.

[SPEAKER_00]: I'm saying that there are some people who are doing things that you no longer want to engage in.

[SPEAKER_00]: I can no longer do that with you.

[SPEAKER_00]: I can no longer engage in, I've grown now.

[SPEAKER_00]: I no longer want to engage in gossip with you.

[SPEAKER_00]: If you, if you on that tip when you call, I ain't got time right now, but you call me if you want to talk about something productive.

[SPEAKER_00]: Hey, let's, let's, let's, let's talk.

[SPEAKER_00]: But if you only call me to tell me about the latest negative talk in the neighborhood or what's happening at the job and who you hate hearing, who you don't like over there and who has this bag.

[SPEAKER_00]: I don't have time for that.

[SPEAKER_00]: But if you're calling about, hey, I found a new recipe.

[SPEAKER_00]: Hey, let's go in with family vacation.

[SPEAKER_00]: Hey, I found this, whatever.

[SPEAKER_00]: I'm just giving, you know, cursory examples.

[SPEAKER_00]: But there are some examples that you can think of, but you're like, man, these people are serving me well in this area, but not that area.

[SPEAKER_00]: So let me just take a net it with when they're doing this.

[SPEAKER_00]: But there's some people, you gotta cut off all the way.

[SPEAKER_00]: And I get it.

[SPEAKER_00]: don't know how to cut off certain relationships or associations and friendships that no longer serve them because they have a difficult time doing what I just said.

[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, let me break it down.

[SPEAKER_00]: They don't know how to set boundaries.

[SPEAKER_00]: And if you're going to be successful in life, listen, I am 40 something years old.

[SPEAKER_00]: I just learned how to set boundaries.

[SPEAKER_00]: Let me say it better.

[SPEAKER_00]: I just learned how to set boundaries and stick to what I said.

[SPEAKER_00]: There are those of you who are listening, who are watching, who are viewing, right now, who are saying to yourself, man, that's me.

[SPEAKER_00]: I got difficulty setting boundaries.

[SPEAKER_00]: I people tell me that, hey, they're gonna only do to go this far and I let them go that far.

[SPEAKER_00]: I forgive them and so forth and so on.

[SPEAKER_00]: You know what that confrontation, that's what it is.

[SPEAKER_00]: turn over a new life or a new leaf, I should say, in life, especially this is we're going into, is this quarter, this third quarter of the year, we're in the fourth quarter, our 2024.

[SPEAKER_00]: You gotta understand boundaries.

[SPEAKER_00]: Other reasons why people have difficulty moving on from connections that no longer serve them is because they have this unhealthy dependency on people.

[SPEAKER_00]: The person that is not good for you feels a void in a certain area.

[SPEAKER_00]: And you can film the blank.

[SPEAKER_00]: I'm not talking about any certain thing in this moment.

[SPEAKER_00]: But sometimes people have an emotional void that they feel.

[SPEAKER_00]: Some people have a sexual void for lack of a better word that some people feel for them.

[SPEAKER_00]: And so you would take all of this 80% negative stuff to get that 20% feeling and then go right back to the 80% negative stuff.

[SPEAKER_00]: So sometimes people have difficulty and they forget how powerful associations and friendships are and how much they mean.

[SPEAKER_00]: Well, let's hear if to your success.

[SPEAKER_00]: You only go as high or as low as the people you hang out with.

[SPEAKER_00]: Once again, I'm not talking about people on, I'm not talking about hanging out on the corner or hanging out in the bar.

[SPEAKER_00]: I talk about people that you spend time with.

[SPEAKER_00]: So here it is.

[SPEAKER_00]: What are some things you can do to start surrounding yourself.

[SPEAKER_00]: with the right people that are going the same place and the same weight and the same direction that you're going.

[SPEAKER_00]: Number one, are you ready?

[SPEAKER_00]: Write this down.

[SPEAKER_00]: Number one, evaluate your current network.

[SPEAKER_00]: Take inventory.

[SPEAKER_00]: Every now and again, people have to take, I remember one time I was an overnight stalker at Walmart.

[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, that was my, in fact, that was my, yeah, my first job after high school was I was an overnight stocker I forgot to think of winning at 11, maybe 11 to 7, something like that.

[SPEAKER_00]: I worked overnight, and at that time, I'm dating myself a little bit, right?

[SPEAKER_00]: Wal-Mart's were not 24 hours.

[SPEAKER_00]: It's so funny because the individuals who were born after Wal-Mart became 24 hours, can't imagine.

[SPEAKER_00]: A time when Walmart was not well, now you came because since COVID a lot of places no longer 24 hours.

[SPEAKER_00]: So I get it.

[SPEAKER_00]: In fact.

[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, this is another soap box.

[SPEAKER_00]: I'll get on later.

[SPEAKER_00]: But my gem is called 20 for our fitness, but it ain't open 24 hours.

[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, go figure.

[SPEAKER_00]: Right.

[SPEAKER_00]: Oh, but in the last here it is.

[SPEAKER_00]: Here it is.

[SPEAKER_00]: I was overnight stocker and [SPEAKER_00]: There were times when we would get stuff in.

[SPEAKER_00]: Let's say, I don't know, for lack of a better analogy or illustration, we would get in ramen noodles.

[SPEAKER_00]: Don't act because you don't know where ramen noodles are.

[SPEAKER_00]: Some people call it ramen noodles.

[SPEAKER_00]: I think it's called ramen noodles.

[SPEAKER_00]: We're getting a new stock.

[SPEAKER_00]: And the manager would say, go take inventory to see if there are some of the shelves that are already expired.

[SPEAKER_00]: In other words, don't just go up there, put in the new noodles in front of the old noodles, take the old stuff out because it no longer serves us.

[SPEAKER_00]: Take the oath of off the shelf, right?

[SPEAKER_00]: Let's put it in the trash and no longer serves us.

[SPEAKER_00]: It's no longer good and it shouldn't be on the shelf.

[SPEAKER_00]: If value it, your current network to find out who a work should no longer be on your shelf.

[SPEAKER_00]: Sometimes you've gotta take off.

[SPEAKER_00]: the old in order to make room for the new because if you leave the old the new can never the new the new don't have room to set up shop.

[SPEAKER_00]: If you hang on to the old you don't have room right you don't have enough space enough capacity to house what's new was relevant in what's right for you in this moment.

[SPEAKER_00]: Number two seek out like minded people.

[SPEAKER_00]: Remember one of my buddies when he first started going to church, right?

[SPEAKER_00]: And he's a guy that was from the streets didn't not grow up in anybody's church.

[SPEAKER_00]: Mother didn't make him go to church.

[SPEAKER_00]: She didn't go to church when they were growing up.

[SPEAKER_00]: And so that was just kind of like a foreign.

[SPEAKER_00]: I think they went maybe on each through or you know, some major halap Christmas or two or three times a year and that was it.

[SPEAKER_00]: And I remember when he first decided to kind of just go all the way in.

[SPEAKER_00]: with his church relationship, with his nation with God.

[SPEAKER_00]: He told me, said, man, I said, go to church, but then I come back to my same friends and they, they, we're not in the same place no more.

[SPEAKER_00]: Like his real rough for me, man, I really, these are my boys on childhood.

[SPEAKER_00]: There are people that I've been running with for a long, over 20 years.

[SPEAKER_00]: We're not like mine anymore.

[SPEAKER_00]: I'm not doing what they're doing anymore.

[SPEAKER_00]: I'm not condemning them.

[SPEAKER_00]: I'm not sitting here telling them that they, they're no longer, they're, they're, they're no good, but at this point, they're not really good for me.

[SPEAKER_00]: Because I wanna go in this direction.

[SPEAKER_00]: Check this out, it's so funny.

[SPEAKER_00]: He said, it's funny, but it's not funny.

[SPEAKER_00]: He said, I wanna go in this direction.

[SPEAKER_00]: They have no direction.

[SPEAKER_00]: So it's not that they're going in another direction.

[SPEAKER_00]: They ain't going nowhere.

[SPEAKER_00]: I don't wanna be around that.

[SPEAKER_00]: Because it's going to take me away from where I want to go.

[SPEAKER_00]: So you've got to seek out like-minded people.

[SPEAKER_00]: To evaluate your current network, to seek out like-minded people.

[SPEAKER_00]: And then number three, you've got to prioritize growth.

[SPEAKER_00]: You can't accept mediocrity.

[SPEAKER_00]: If you're going to have success in every area of your life, [SPEAKER_00]: I got a buddy of mine, um, if his name is Chris Singleton, and he has these five pillars like they remember all of the pillars.

[SPEAKER_00]: See he has these five pillars, um, dealing with finance, family, faith, um, and the two others I can't remember right now.

[SPEAKER_00]: But it's how goal, and he and I, he shares his goals with me at the beginning of the year.

[SPEAKER_00]: I share my goals with him as well, and he kind of keeps tabs on me way more than I keep tabs on him.

[SPEAKER_00]: Are you doing the things you need to do to beat these goals?

[SPEAKER_00]: Are you spending this much time with your son?

[SPEAKER_00]: Are you still doing date nights with your family?

[SPEAKER_00]: Is that going to trip?

[SPEAKER_00]: Did you make this many calls?

[SPEAKER_00]: How much business are you doing this month?

[SPEAKER_00]: All right.

[SPEAKER_00]: Have you?

[SPEAKER_00]: Oh, no.

[SPEAKER_00]: Giving back.

[SPEAKER_00]: All right.

[SPEAKER_00]: And so I said to myself, man, this brother has me in check.

[SPEAKER_00]: right he keeps me on point.

[SPEAKER_00]: I'm prioritizing growth and I need people in my life that prioritizes growth as well and one of the ways that you can prioritize growth right him out is you can you can seek out individuals who are not just like mine did but secondly you seek out individuals who have been where you are trying to go.

[SPEAKER_00]: who's been waiting, they've been there, they've done that, they've got a t-shirt, a plaque on the wall, and they're making new moves.

[SPEAKER_00]: The last thing I want you to do, if in fact you are, you are doing your best to operate in a way that you are selective with your connections.

[SPEAKER_00]: You've got to distance yourself from anything that will take positive energy, motivation, and fire away from you.

[SPEAKER_00]: You've got to take away from things that drain your passion for what it is that you want to do now.

[SPEAKER_00]: take you guys stay away from things that that pull away instead of pouring into not saying light doesn't happen.

[SPEAKER_00]: I'm saying you if there are some things that are purposely not life sometimes is dangerous we get tired just because we're human right I get it and as you get older keep on living right you get more tired but I'm saying if there are things that are people that you're connected to that that that that intentionally [SPEAKER_00]: try to influence you in a way that takes away the passion that you have for new growth, for new success, and for a better life.

[SPEAKER_00]: Distance yourself.

[SPEAKER_00]: In fact, there is something that once you go, this you've got to go to gogrowglowbrand.com.

[SPEAKER_00]: There's some additional information about this [SPEAKER_00]: that will give you additional tools, additional insight as to how you can make that happen and not make it happen every now and again, how you can make it happen every single day.

[SPEAKER_00]: So go to go, grow, grow, grow, grow, grow, grow.

[SPEAKER_00]: It's a tongue tie.

[SPEAKER_00]: Go, grow, grow, grow, brand.com.

[SPEAKER_00]: Get your free resource, then also click the next link that will come to your website or to your email to get access to the ebook that will show you [SPEAKER_00]: The negative people will start or scattering away from you.

[SPEAKER_00]: They'll say, man, this guy, this woman, this person is so passionate about where they're going, there's nothing I can do to stop them.

[SPEAKER_00]: So thank you again for tuning in today.

[SPEAKER_00]: Man, I hope that I say it's something that is a benefit to you.

[SPEAKER_00]: Share this with your neighbor, share this with your son, share this with your daughter, share this with your friends, your co-worker, somebody who's trying their very best to turn the corner, [SPEAKER_00]: with regard to their connections, they need to hear this episode.

[SPEAKER_00]: So don't be stingy.

[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah you, don't hog it all in.

[SPEAKER_00]: Share it out, give somebody else access to a powerful message.

[SPEAKER_00]: I think that will be a benefit to their life.

[SPEAKER_00]: Thank you so much for tuning in.

[SPEAKER_00]: Don't forget to go, grow, and glow every single day.

[SPEAKER_00]: See you next time, peace.