[SPEAKER_00]: This time of year always reminds me how much I have actually grown and on a flip side how much I still avoid.

[SPEAKER_00]: You cannot heal what you don't face.

[SPEAKER_00]: So I made a list of questions that I usually sidestep.

[SPEAKER_00]: The ones that stop me dead in my tracks, the ones that make me squirm a little bit, and maybe even make me feel a little itchy inside.

[SPEAKER_00]: The ones that hold the mirror up to my habits, my relationships, my fears, and the parts of me that I tend to tuck away so no one else can see.

[SPEAKER_00]: It's uncomfortable, and yeah, sometimes it even fills a little weird, but it is necessary, because you can go into a new year carrying all of the same old patterns, the same old excuses, or you can choose the pause.

[SPEAKER_00]: Ask yourself the hard stuff and step into the next year, lighter, clearer, and actually ready to show up for yourself.

[SPEAKER_00]: see the beauty in what you already have and learn how to bring more of that main character energy into your real imperfect life.

[SPEAKER_00]: So these questions that we're going to go through today aren't meant to show you.

[SPEAKER_00]: They're just meant to wake you up to help you notice the ways that you've been showing up for yourself.

[SPEAKER_00]: in the ways that you also haven't.

[SPEAKER_00]: They're meant to help you leave behind what doesn't serve you and step into the new year.

[SPEAKER_01]: Uncluttered empowered and ready for what's next.

[SPEAKER_00]: What is going on beautiful people?

[SPEAKER_00]: You are listening to the affirmations for Black Girls Podcasts.

[SPEAKER_00]: Where we focus on personal growth and cultivating a healthy relationship with ourselves.

[SPEAKER_00]: I am your host, tire their creative, actress, content creator, and mental health enthusiast.

[SPEAKER_00]: And y'all, can we just talk about this moment for a second?

[SPEAKER_00]: The year 2025 is almost over.

[SPEAKER_00]: eight days.

[SPEAKER_00]: We have just eight days left at the time that this episode goes live and somehow it feels like time both flu and crawled by at the same time.

[SPEAKER_00]: You scroll through your feed and you see everybody's highlight rills, the glow-ups, the vacations, the cozy mornings with the perfect playlist, the husband, the kids, and [SPEAKER_00]: It's easy to feel like you are behind, like you're missing the main character magic that everyone else seems to have, but here's the thing, you've been living a year of your own story.

[SPEAKER_00]: In all of its messy and perfect realness, and sometimes slowing down, taking stock and really asking yourself the questions you've been avoiding, or maybe you never even thought to ask yourself, [SPEAKER_00]: It's not flashy, it's not curated, but it's just honest.

[SPEAKER_00]: It's unfiltered, and it is you.

[SPEAKER_00]: So this space that I'm holding today in today's episode is for [SPEAKER_00]: Noticing the little things, the winds, the stumbles and everything in between all of that.

[SPEAKER_00]: It's for honoring yourself enough to face the uncomfortable truth so you can step into the new year with clarity and ready to show up fully for your own story.

[SPEAKER_00]: But before we dive into all of that, we have to do our affirmation of the week.

[SPEAKER_00]: So this week's affirmation is...

[SPEAKER_00]: Being honest with myself is my top priority.

[SPEAKER_00]: Let's go ahead and drop in a y'all.

[SPEAKER_00]: Being honest with myself is my top priority.

[SPEAKER_00]: Being honest with myself is my top priority.

[SPEAKER_00]: Being honest with myself is my top priority.

[SPEAKER_00]: Being honest with myself is my top priority.

[SPEAKER_00]: Being honest with myself is my top priority.

[SPEAKER_00]: What is being honest with yourself look like?

[SPEAKER_00]: What does it feel like?

[SPEAKER_00]: Being honest with myself is my top priority.

[SPEAKER_00]: Being honest with myself is my top priority.

[SPEAKER_00]: Being honest with myself is my top priority.

[SPEAKER_00]: Being honest with myself is my top priority.

[SPEAKER_00]: Let's go ahead and say it one last time together.

[SPEAKER_00]: Being honest with myself is my top priority.

[SPEAKER_00]: Ooh, Lord, y'all.

[SPEAKER_00]: I feel like we could have did a whole 10 minutes off of just that.

[SPEAKER_00]: But being honest with myself is my top priority.

[SPEAKER_00]: When we say that it's honestly not just words y'all, it's really a permission slip to look at ourselves clearly without excuses without sugarcone things, without outside voices.

[SPEAKER_00]: Because here's the truth.

[SPEAKER_00]: Growth only happens when we face the parts of us that we usually avoid the uncomfortable parts.

[SPEAKER_00]: when we commit to welcoming the truth, even the discomfort, the squirmy I'd rather suppress this or deal with it later kind of truths.

[SPEAKER_00]: You're saying yes to the next version of yourself.

[SPEAKER_00]: Not the same old, same old person in repeat on the same mistakes and same patterns that you've always been making, but the version of you who can actually step into your next blessing lighter, freer, with an open heart and ready to show up for yourself in a whole new way.

[SPEAKER_00]: The first thing that I had to do before even thinking about answering these questions that we're about to go through was take a step back and really look at my own headspace, not the cute polished curated version of myself that I tend to post online or the version of myself that I show up as for everybody else.

[SPEAKER_00]: I'm talking about me, the tyro that is in her own thoughts, the unfiltered real raw and regular [SPEAKER_00]: the habits that I've been carrying, the stories that I keep replaying, the way that I talked to myself when nobody else is watching our listening, that's where the real work starts, and that is where shadow work comes in.

[SPEAKER_00]: And if you've never heard of the time shadow work before, [SPEAKER_00]: all about facing the parts of ourselves that we usually avoid, the parts that we keep in the shadows, the parts that stay in the dark and the background.

[SPEAKER_00]: So the habits, the thoughts and the feelings that are that we talk away because they feel uncomfortable, messy, or even shameful.

[SPEAKER_00]: It's the stuff that we don't talk about at brunch with friends or we don't post it online and sometimes we, or we do post it online but we don't post it online [SPEAKER_00]: really, really went through some things and really, really got over, right?

[SPEAKER_00]: And sometimes we don't really talk to ourselves about this stuff.

[SPEAKER_00]: We tend to suppress this stuff completely, but the truth is the things that quietly, these are the things that quietly shape how we show up and lie.

[SPEAKER_00]: And doing shadow work doesn't have to be super scary or dramatic, even though I can seem like that.

[SPEAKER_00]: It can be as simple as asking yourself tough questions and being honest [SPEAKER_00]: I believe that before you can step into a new season, in this case, a new year in a few days, with clarity, you have to acknowledge the patterns that you have been holding onto, that have been holding you back, the stories that you've been repeating to yourself in the ways that you've been showing up, that either help or hurt you.

[SPEAKER_00]: It's not about beating yourself up, which is something that we also tend to do.

[SPEAKER_00]: Where humans can be very self-deprecating sometimes, [SPEAKER_00]: clearly so you can choose differently.

[SPEAKER_00]: So I really want you guys to grab a notebook and write these questions down and answer them along with me.

[SPEAKER_00]: I will say these along with a lot of other additional questions will be included in our 2026 New Year New Me Workbook.

[SPEAKER_00]: If you did, [SPEAKER_00]: purchase it last year for the 2025 year.

[SPEAKER_00]: You can go ahead and purchase it again because we do have some new things in there including this shadow work section.

[SPEAKER_00]: So you can go ahead and purchase it on our website.

[SPEAKER_00]: The link is down below in the show notes and you'll receive a download a digital download for the workbook.

[SPEAKER_00]: Here's what I ask myself, and I'm going to go through all the questions, but I'm going to keep some of them free because we only got, but so much time here y'all, but I'm going to answer some of these questions.

[SPEAKER_00]: I may answer them all a little bit, but I'm only going to go in depth on us on some of them, and I really want you guys to do the same.

[SPEAKER_00]: I want you to take some time to answer these just for yourself.

[SPEAKER_00]: So this first section here is all about questions about our mindset and you know being honest with ourselves.

[SPEAKER_00]: So our first question here is what habits or thought patterns are holding me back from growth?

[SPEAKER_00]: I think [SPEAKER_00]: in this season of life that I'm in right now.

[SPEAKER_00]: I have, and I mentioned it to y'all, but I clearly, I don't go into too much detail.

[SPEAKER_00]: I feel like I have plateaued in life, and a lot of people around me and the things that I am taking in on social media and stuff, a lot of people are in the same season of life that I am in, but I think a habit that is holding me back is I don't [SPEAKER_00]: like to ask for help.

[SPEAKER_00]: I don't I I will ask for help across like I've got net lockdown type.

[SPEAKER_00]: I don't ask for help.

[SPEAKER_00]: I don't ask for help in public or I don't I don't sometimes I have trouble with being seeing trying and that's something that in 2026 I cannot allow to happen anymore because I'm at [SPEAKER_00]: I need the book.

[SPEAKER_00]: I need auditions at least.

[SPEAKER_00]: I don't get many odd, I'm an actress.

[SPEAKER_00]: I don't get many auditions.

[SPEAKER_00]: I typically book commercials, which thank you God.

[SPEAKER_00]: I definitely appreciate it, but I haven't booked anything theatrical since family reunion.

[SPEAKER_00]: And I haven't been really put into the room since family reunion either.

[SPEAKER_00]: So I think that's one of the habits that is definitely holding me back.

[SPEAKER_00]: And also on top of it, I would even include, and there maybe just a sprinkle of me [SPEAKER_00]: I don't necessarily want to do everything myself because I just want to do it myself, but I get very frustrated when there's something that I want to happen.

[SPEAKER_00]: For example, if I want to get cast and something that I see that is not happening, I'm like, well, forget it.

[SPEAKER_00]: I'm going to create it myself and I'm going to do it myself.

[SPEAKER_00]: And I don't want to burden other people with my passion projects.

[SPEAKER_00]: And I think that's holding me [SPEAKER_00]: something that I am battling with because it makes me uncomfortable to ask for help or to be seeing trying and failing.

[SPEAKER_00]: It makes me a little uncomfortable, so I really want to dive into that more next year.

[SPEAKER_00]: Question number two is how did I speak to myself in hard moments and how can I do better next time?

[SPEAKER_00]: The one thing that I will say, because we, I don't even know how long it's been, y'all.

[SPEAKER_00]: I think it's been a couple of years now, but one thing that I will say about the way that I speak to myself is a lot better now.

[SPEAKER_00]: I'll still say stuff, not in a hard moment, but I'll still say self-deprecating things.

[SPEAKER_00]: Like, you know how people will say, like, guess what my stupid ass did yesterday?

[SPEAKER_00]: I'll say stuff like that whenever I'm like, you know, being funny or saying things that aren't really that deep, um, but a couple years ago we did the childhood trauma series and a part of that was realizing that you are still that five year old you that 13 year old you that 20 year old you all of those versions of yourself live within you and talking to yourself as if you are that five year old that really put into perspective for me.

[SPEAKER_00]: So in the hard moments, I am still able to say, you're okay.

[SPEAKER_00]: Hey, I got you.

[SPEAKER_00]: You're doing great tired.

[SPEAKER_00]: You're doing amazing.

[SPEAKER_00]: We got this.

[SPEAKER_00]: Like I'm still able to comfort myself and hug myself and speak to myself with love.

[SPEAKER_00]: But it hasn't always been like that.

[SPEAKER_00]: But it has been for the last couple of years.

[SPEAKER_00]: And for that, I am proud.

[SPEAKER_00]: Ooh, question number three is a doozy.

[SPEAKER_00]: Do I actually believe that I deserve the things I say I want?

[SPEAKER_00]: I was just just talking to my best friend Priya.

[SPEAKER_00]: I mentioned this to y'all, but we are currently doing the artist's way, challenge.

[SPEAKER_00]: And one of the lessons had us talking about, I don't even know how it actually came up, but one of the lessons brought this out of me that I don't act like I believe that I deserve the things I say I want.

[SPEAKER_00]: And I said to her, I was like, in my mind, I know I should believe it, but my actions are not aligning with that soul for me.

[SPEAKER_00]: I would actually have to say no to this.

[SPEAKER_00]: I don't believe that I deserve the things that I say I want and it's very frustrating for me because [SPEAKER_00]: I work so hard, right, and I know I should believe that I deserve the things that I say I won't.

[SPEAKER_00]: But my actions do not align.

[SPEAKER_00]: For example, if I say that I want to book an acting job, [SPEAKER_00]: Tara, you set unrepresented for over a year, right?

[SPEAKER_00]: And I wasn't putting in any work to at least do my part in that regard, or I will mainly be worried, or very anxious about [SPEAKER_00]: my lifetime line and you know like getting married, having a family, all of those types of things.

[SPEAKER_00]: I'm not going to lie.

[SPEAKER_00]: It keeps me up at night.

[SPEAKER_00]: Last night I couldn't sleep and I think that worry and that fear is not of God and that worry and that fear that I have in regard to those things are a direct reflection.

[SPEAKER_00]: on whether or not I believe I deserve those things and I say that because typically when we know that we deserve something we have this this deep sense of confidence even if things are wavering our our faith isn't wavering and I'm at a point in my life where [SPEAKER_00]: is been a little harder to be faithful and to have faith in those things and the questions of, well, what if, what if, well, I actually might not have anything else in life for me.

[SPEAKER_00]: Those questions are now feeling my mind.

[SPEAKER_00]: When we're in a space like that, one, I definitely need to go to God more.

[SPEAKER_00]: I definitely need to lay all of my burdens at the altar.

[SPEAKER_00]: I definitely need to spend more time with him and his work, but also on the physical side of things, I'm trying to build a toolkit of things that help when I am feeling super doubtful when doubt is getting the better of me because I know [SPEAKER_00]: I should believe that I deserve these things, but I don't think that I actually do.

[SPEAKER_00]: And another way that I'm like, I clearly don't believe it, and it's just the most frustrating thing because I want to believe it.

[SPEAKER_00]: I will say, [SPEAKER_00]: For example, if I have a friend who wants to do this thing, I'm like, oh, yeah, you can definitely do that and I will believe that 100% in my heart.

[SPEAKER_00]: Oh, yeah, she's definitely going to rock this.

[SPEAKER_00]: Oh, you're definitely going to get it.

[SPEAKER_00]: You're definitely going to kill it.

[SPEAKER_00]: And I cannot say those things with the same bravado to myself.

[SPEAKER_00]: So that is something that I'm truly working on because.

[SPEAKER_00]: It's very trippy and it's something that I also have to not only spend time with God to figure out how we can remedy this, but also talk to my therapist about, you know, take all the precautions because the one thing that you should have is faith, even small, the size of a muster seed, that's the one thing that you should have.

[SPEAKER_00]: Okay, next question is, where did I surprise myself in a good way?

[SPEAKER_00]: this year.

[SPEAKER_00]: I think the one way that I surprised myself this year would definitely have to do with working out.

[SPEAKER_00]: That's not only thing that I can recall in this moment that I made me say a wildfire.

[SPEAKER_00]: Okay, you're doing it.

[SPEAKER_00]: You're doing the thing, right?

[SPEAKER_00]: And I guess I could also say building out my podcast team as you guys [SPEAKER_00]: Um, based no, we are now doing video and have all of these things going on in the podcast and that definitely stretch to me.

[SPEAKER_00]: Um, being the boss stretched me in ways that I didn't know I would be stretched this year, but something that definitely surprised me was, um, I picked back up all running.

[SPEAKER_00]: And I'll be running five k's and that's just not something that I ever consider myself to be doing.

[SPEAKER_00]: You know what I mean?

[SPEAKER_00]: Like I I like the box.

[SPEAKER_00]: I like to do high intensity workouts, but running.

[SPEAKER_00]: That's never really been in my um my ministry for real, but now I enjoy it and that really surprised myself because it taught me endurance and that can translate more than just in a physical realm.

[SPEAKER_00]: The next question is, what lessons do I keep being taught because I haven't learned a yet?

[SPEAKER_00]: How Lord y'all?

[SPEAKER_00]: I'm going to keep this one brief, but the lesson that I keep learning is that I'm not even going to say you.

[SPEAKER_00]: The lesson that I keep learning is that [SPEAKER_00]: I cannot afford to keep dating a man's potential and I need to take [SPEAKER_00]: the experience for what it is at face value.

[SPEAKER_00]: I have always really been super understanding, giving a lot of grace, making up basically making up excuses for men that I date because I do see the potential in them, but you cannot date potential.

[SPEAKER_00]: And now that I'm 31, [SPEAKER_00]: I just know how to do that anymore.

[SPEAKER_00]: Regardless of anything, let's call it spade a spade.

[SPEAKER_00]: I'm getting old.

[SPEAKER_00]: I'm not, let me not say old.

[SPEAKER_00]: I'm getting older and I'm at the space.

[SPEAKER_00]: I'm at the season of life where I want to just be with the man that God has read.

[SPEAKER_00]: And I'm not going to allow space for him if I keep on accepting the bare minimum.

[SPEAKER_00]: If I keep on accepting.

[SPEAKER_00]: wishy washyness, hiding code, um, things if I keep on, you know, showing up with a hundred percent and the guy is only giving 50, 20 percent, 10, 5 percent.

[SPEAKER_00]: I can't keep doing that to myself.

[SPEAKER_00]: And I do think that a lot of that stems from my attachment style growing up and I definitely want to dive more into attachment styles next year.

[SPEAKER_00]: But I have a very anxious attachment style and when a man is not fully interested in me, but he gives me just enough.

[SPEAKER_00]: He breadcrumbs me just enough.

[SPEAKER_00]: I will stay around and I keep learning this lesson over and over.

[SPEAKER_00]: And I've learned it, but I think it's deeper than that because I have to learn how to mitigate the symptoms of the attachment style that I fell into as a child.

[SPEAKER_00]: So I know that I should not be doing these things that I'm actively exercising new and healthier boundaries when it comes to dating.

[SPEAKER_00]: And the last question that I will answer in this section is, what version of me am I still trying to prove something to?

[SPEAKER_00]: I think I'm still trying to prove something to 16-year-old Tyra.

[SPEAKER_00]: So I've talked about my dreambook on the podcast before.

[SPEAKER_00]: In that dream book, I wrote down a timeline by 20.

[SPEAKER_00]: I wanted the, you know, an actress by 25.

[SPEAKER_00]: I want to be married by 30.

[SPEAKER_00]: I want to have three kids blah, blah, blah, blah.

[SPEAKER_00]: All of that stuff and back then, I 110% believed that, [SPEAKER_00]: this timeline would happen.

[SPEAKER_00]: I wrote it down made a plan and I thought that it was going to happen.

[SPEAKER_00]: And I'm still unlearning the attachment to the plan that I have for myself versus the plan that God has for me.

[SPEAKER_00]: So I'm still trying to prove to by 16-year-old self that I can't have all [SPEAKER_00]: Feeling like I'm running out of time because I am holding myself to a standard that's 16-year-old Tyra, sit.

[SPEAKER_00]: In this season of life that I'm in now, connection has been at the forefront of my mind.

[SPEAKER_00]: And I had to get really, really honest about some things.

[SPEAKER_00]: Relationships.

[SPEAKER_00]: all of them.

[SPEAKER_00]: They are mirrors.

[SPEAKER_00]: They reflect back parts of us.

[SPEAKER_00]: We love parts of us that we ignore parts of us that we don't always see.

[SPEAKER_00]: Our don't even always want to see.

[SPEAKER_00]: And this year, those mirrors felt extra noticeable.

[SPEAKER_00]: But when I started to slow down, long enough to actually look at the way that I have been showing up for people in the way that they have been showing up for me, I realized something [SPEAKER_00]: that relationships aren't just about the connection, they're about alignment as well, they're about energy, they are about honesty, the same honesty that we just talked about in the last segment, but now it is external, it's relational and it's layered.

[SPEAKER_00]: You have to be vulnerable, and here's the part that definitely stung a little bit.

[SPEAKER_00]: Some of the relationships that I [SPEAKER_00]: weren't holding on to me.

[SPEAKER_00]: It's fine.

[SPEAKER_00]: I can handle it moments where actually my boundary issues showing up.

[SPEAKER_00]: Some of the disappointment that I felt wasn't about the other person.

[SPEAKER_00]: It was about me not communicating what I needed in the first place and just staying in that or me not moving according to what I knew the relationship to be.

[SPEAKER_00]: Amen.

[SPEAKER_00]: This season of my life has been shaping me into someone who is more intentional.

[SPEAKER_00]: about who gets access to me, my time, my heart, my presence, my energy, because your relationships will either keep you stuck in old cycles or they will help you rise into the next version of yourself and both require honesty.

[SPEAKER_00]: So as we step into these uncomfortable questions about friendship, dating, family, work, all of that I want you to think about this.

[SPEAKER_00]: Are these connections in your life nurturing you?

[SPEAKER_00]: Or are they draining you?

[SPEAKER_00]: Are they aligned with who you're becoming?

[SPEAKER_00]: Are they tied to who you used to be?

[SPEAKER_00]: because the truth is boundaries are not walls and setting and keeping those boundaries isn't just about saying no, it's about protecting the version of yourself that you have worked so hard to become.

[SPEAKER_00]: And those boundaries are bridges, bridges to healthier love, to clearer communication, to more peaceful relationships and to a version of you that honors your own emotional capacity.

[SPEAKER_00]: So these questions are about taking inventory with love, with clarity, and with courage.

[SPEAKER_00]: So question number one is which relationships feel one-sided or draining and what would it look like to lovingly set a boundary?

[SPEAKER_00]: I think the only one-sided relationship in my life right now [SPEAKER_00]: are any relationship that I have what to do.

[SPEAKER_00]: I'm not even going to lie to you.

[SPEAKER_00]: Impletonic relationships.

[SPEAKER_00]: I'm pretty good at removing myself of I need to or falling back if I need to, but in romantic relationships is a lie harder.

[SPEAKER_00]: I think.

[SPEAKER_00]: a boundary that I need to set is if a relationship with a man is one side it then I need to one communicate my feelings in a healthy way and if things don't change.

[SPEAKER_00]: immediately I need to fall back because that's just not the man for me.

[SPEAKER_00]: And I think I need to do that because I have been in situation so often where I give him chance after chance after chance and then next thing I know I'm three years in.

[SPEAKER_00]: I'm five years in.

[SPEAKER_00]: I'm six years in.

[SPEAKER_00]: I can't keep doing that.

[SPEAKER_00]: I do think to a certain [SPEAKER_00]: I don't want to have to teach somebody how to love me and I don't mean knowing my love language and all that stuff because that comes through communication.

[SPEAKER_00]: but how to love in general.

[SPEAKER_00]: I don't want to teach you how to do those things because if you are in a space where I believe, if you're in a space where you are ready to receive love and ready to be in a healthy relationship, you will already be working on those things.

[SPEAKER_00]: You will already know [SPEAKER_00]: the general things about love right love is not confusing love does not hurt love love in itself is not hard right challenges come along with it but loving you itself is not hard and that's just truly what I believe [SPEAKER_00]: The next question is, am I surrounding myself with people who reflect where I'm going or where I've been?

[SPEAKER_00]: I think I can definitely benefit from having more people in my life that I'm not going [SPEAKER_00]: I aspire to be like, I think there are a lot of people in my life right now that have been in my life for a long time and we are basically all on the same plane of life, but there are there are people that you need in your life that push you to new heights as well.

[SPEAKER_00]: people who can be a mentor to you, people who you look up to, those people are needed in your life just as much as the friends that standing next to you and in the thick of it with you.

[SPEAKER_00]: So I think right now I am mainly, I'm not necessarily surrounded myself with people who reflect where I have been.

[SPEAKER_00]: But I think there are definitely some like that people in my life that [SPEAKER_00]: Reflect where I have been and I am actively not removing myself from their lives completely, but I am putting them in the category that they need to be in in order for me to grow.

[SPEAKER_00]: But I do pray the connection with people who reflect where I'm going as well.

[SPEAKER_00]: And I am actively looking to incorporate more of those people into my life.

[SPEAKER_00]: The next question is, have I communicated my needs clearly or just hoped people would figure them out?

[SPEAKER_00]: When I have needs that are a little uncomfortable, I don't communicate them clearly at first.

[SPEAKER_00]: I basically like break from it and it's not that I hope people would figure it out.

[SPEAKER_00]: I am more so trying to get comfortable with having these conversations with these people.

[SPEAKER_00]: And it can always be like that.

[SPEAKER_00]: I have to be okay with being uncomfortable in communication if it is for the betterment of the relationship.

[SPEAKER_00]: If it is for the betterment of whatever it is we got going on.

[SPEAKER_00]: I'm talking platonic, familial, or romantic relationships.

[SPEAKER_00]: I have to be able to communicate.

[SPEAKER_00]: I've actually given myself a pat on the back for being able to communicate more clearly in romantic relationships, but with friends and with family, it is a little harder, and I'm still exploring why that's a little harder.

[SPEAKER_00]: On this communication is at the forefront of the way that I'm trying to step into this new year.

[SPEAKER_00]: Next question is, who do I need to forgive, including myself, to move forward later?

[SPEAKER_00]: Hmm.

[SPEAKER_00]: Who do I need to forgive?

[SPEAKER_00]: I think this is a question that I really want to sit with and answer I don't want to just throw an answer out there Because the first thing that came to mind was Oh, was should I forgive any of my exes?

[SPEAKER_00]: should I forgive my mama or my daddy for, you know, they're divorced and all of that stuff and how it affected me as a child.

[SPEAKER_00]: This is a question that I personally would like to sit with a little bit more before I answer.

[SPEAKER_00]: And our last question in this section is, who in my life makes me feel the most seen and do they know that?

[SPEAKER_00]: I kind of don't want to answer this question because I know it'll make me cry.

[SPEAKER_00]: I think one of the people that I feel the most seen with in my life is my best friend Maria.

[SPEAKER_00]: I always tell her this and I always say like, I, in my head, I'm like, I hope I don't feel like a broken record.

[SPEAKER_00]: I hope it doesn't feel like I'm just saying this, but I feel the most seen by her.

[SPEAKER_00]: I am able to show up in whatever state I'm in to her and [SPEAKER_00]: I love that so much.

[SPEAKER_00]: I love our friendship and I'm so blessed and grateful to have somebody like her in my life.

[SPEAKER_00]: I'm able to take anything to her.

[SPEAKER_00]: And I just, I'm just so grateful.

[SPEAKER_00]: I'm like, God, thank you for putting this person in my life because she doesn't judge me.

[SPEAKER_00]: I never feel judged.

[SPEAKER_00]: We can talk about the same stupid thing over and over that I can't seem to get past.

[SPEAKER_00]: And I am, I love that girl down.

[SPEAKER_00]: I feel so seen and I hope she knows that [SPEAKER_00]: I feel that way and that I love her so much.

[SPEAKER_00]: I love her dead.

[SPEAKER_00]: I just, I truly do.

[SPEAKER_00]: So we've looked in our rear view mirror, at our patterns, at our habits, at our relationships, our boundaries, and now it's time to look forward.

[SPEAKER_00]: Because clarity isn't just about what we're walking away from, it's also about what we're walking towards.

[SPEAKER_00]: And here's something that I am learning in real time.

[SPEAKER_00]: The future does not magically appear.

[SPEAKER_00]: You shape it.

[SPEAKER_00]: One intention, one decision, one prayer, one honest moment at a time.

[SPEAKER_00]: But you can't shape what you haven't taken the time to imagine or talk to God about, I mean.

[SPEAKER_00]: So this last section here is about giving yourself the permission to dream and not the vision board interest perfect hustle culture kind of dreams that we typically do at the end of the year, but the quiet personal deeply aligned time.

[SPEAKER_00]: The type of dreaming that asks, how do I want to feel in my life?

[SPEAKER_00]: What kind of woman am I becoming?

[SPEAKER_00]: What energy do I want to carry into every room I walk into next year?

[SPEAKER_00]: Because the truth is you can have all the goals in the world, but if they're built on fear, comparison, exhaustion, or autopilot, they're not going to hold you.

[SPEAKER_00]: but intentions, alignment and curiosity will carry you into a season that actually feels like it's yours.

[SPEAKER_00]: Not a life that you are pretending or performing for people online, but a life that you're actually living.

[SPEAKER_00]: So as we take a step into these final questions, I want you to really [SPEAKER_00]: open your heart and dig deep.

[SPEAKER_00]: This is where you name those desires.

[SPEAKER_00]: This is where you choose your direction.

[SPEAKER_00]: This is where you get honest about the version of yourself that you're stepping into and what it'll take to get there.

[SPEAKER_00]: So the first question in this section is, what does abundance mean for me, but young money?

[SPEAKER_00]: I'm going to keep this one brief because we [SPEAKER_00]: wealthy in love and family, having a bunch of little kids, having de-husband that God has for me.

[SPEAKER_00]: Amen.

[SPEAKER_00]: That is a goodness for me.

[SPEAKER_00]: Loving what I do every day, no matter what it is, prayerfully, it's my acting career.

[SPEAKER_00]: Just really living in a life that I love waking up for every single day.

[SPEAKER_00]: The second question is, where am I live, do I need more discipline?

[SPEAKER_00]: And where do I need more grace?

[SPEAKER_00]: I need more discipline in my spiritual journey.

[SPEAKER_00]: I need to go to Bible study.

[SPEAKER_00]: I need to find a new church home.

[SPEAKER_00]: I need more kingdom friendships.

[SPEAKER_00]: I need to immerse myself a lot more in faith-based activities that feed me spiritually.

[SPEAKER_00]: As far as where I need more grace.

[SPEAKER_00]: I struggle with this a little bit because I should say or I feel like I should say I need more gray.

[SPEAKER_00]: I need to give myself more grace in my acting career because I don't really have.

[SPEAKER_00]: a say in whether I get cash.

[SPEAKER_00]: All I could do is show up and do my best every single day.

[SPEAKER_00]: But I need to be doing as much as I can.

[SPEAKER_00]: I need to stay on myself because I'm 31 years old.

[SPEAKER_00]: I need to make sure that I'm getting after it.

[SPEAKER_00]: Not in a way that is detrimental to my health and well being, but I need to get after it.

[SPEAKER_00]: So I guess I could technically give myself a little more grace in that aspect, but I really, really, really need to spin a lot more [SPEAKER_00]: Our next question is, what financial habit or mindset do I need to leave behind before the New Year begins?

[SPEAKER_00]: I think I'm pretty good with my finances, but I think the one habit that I need to leave behind is not checking my bank accounts.

[SPEAKER_00]: Now, I have a bookkeeper, I have a CPA, I have automation set up on all my accounts, but [SPEAKER_00]: I have business accounts and I have personal accounts and my personal accounts are always getting overdrawn.

[SPEAKER_00]: And I feel like, oh, I'm, I ain't got to, okay, because tire the creative has money, right?

[SPEAKER_00]: My business has money, but tire the W2 person does not have any money, right?

[SPEAKER_00]: So I think the habit that I need to get rid of is just allowing those accounts to sit overdrafted.

[SPEAKER_00]: And I do that because I don't want to make a habit of just pulling from [SPEAKER_00]: My business savings account whenever I need things.

[SPEAKER_00]: You know, I need to make sure that I am budgeting in a way that I spend The little 250 laws that I get myself every two weeks.

[SPEAKER_00]: I need to make sure that I'm spending that Myfully, you know, but I do think the habit that I need to leave is not checking my accounts not setting myself up for success financially in my personal finances Because I really do think I have my business finances on lock.

[SPEAKER_00]: I'm not even going hold you.

[SPEAKER_00]: I got them on lock [SPEAKER_00]: Our next question is, what am I being called to do that requires me to be a little braver?

[SPEAKER_00]: I think this goes back to my acting career.

[SPEAKER_00]: I think I need to be a little more braven bold.

[SPEAKER_00]: I think I need to put myself out there a little bit more.

[SPEAKER_00]: I need to say the things that I want and I'm getting to that point, but I think I'm getting to that point more so out of frustration than anything else.

[SPEAKER_00]: I'm done.

[SPEAKER_00]: I have what it takes, you know?

[SPEAKER_00]: So I think I'm being called to advocate for myself more, to make a little more noise in the industry, and you know, all of those types of things, put myself out there, network.

[SPEAKER_00]: all of those things that I have kind of taken a back seat to, because I'm like, okay, well, it'll just, it'll happen when it's supposed to happen.

[SPEAKER_00]: I don't think I've been proactive enough in that regard, and I think that is because I haven't been as brave as I should be.

[SPEAKER_00]: Our next question is, what does healthy love look like for me next year, romantically and platonicly?

[SPEAKER_00]: Um, I think healthy love, platonically looks like me showing up for my friends.

[SPEAKER_00]: It looks like me supporting my friends, being there.

[SPEAKER_00]: There are some some big life moments that are happening next year in my friend group.

[SPEAKER_00]: And I need to be there for these friends.

[SPEAKER_00]: I really do think.

[SPEAKER_00]: platonically, I am about to be the supportive friend next year.

[SPEAKER_00]: I am the one behind the curtain next year in helping to set the stage for my friends at these moments in their lives.

[SPEAKER_00]: I am just a vessel.

[SPEAKER_00]: And I am there to help them have [SPEAKER_00]: the best moment that they can.

[SPEAKER_00]: I do think that is something that's in the car for me for next year and romantically I think healthy love looks like choosing me making sure that any man that I do entertain is [SPEAKER_00]: Love me right or getting left behind and I'm not saying that to be like funny or any of that stuff But if it's not working I can't keep it now in myself to be all bent out of shape because I like this man And I'm trying to fit this man into my life.

[SPEAKER_00]: I just can't keep doing that to myself [SPEAKER_00]: Well, our last question for this section is what relationship dynamic am I no longer willing to tolerate?

[SPEAKER_00]: So there was a time when I was talking to who am I going to say what he do, but I was a time when I was talking to this guy and I was head over heels for this man.

[SPEAKER_00]: I was like he got a good job.

[SPEAKER_00]: He calls with family.

[SPEAKER_00]: He wants Mary.

[SPEAKER_00]: She wants all of these things.

[SPEAKER_00]: He seems normal.

[SPEAKER_00]: He makes me laugh.

[SPEAKER_00]: He's smart.

[SPEAKER_00]: All of these things and [SPEAKER_00]: The issue that I had was he would like to take me on dates and you know stuff like this is a while ago He would take me on dates and all this stuff, but he didn't really want to talk to me and Ever since that I have found myself in cycles where I'm talking to men who They'll take me on today.

[SPEAKER_00]: I'll see him in person.

[SPEAKER_00]: We have a good time, but they don't want to talk to me [SPEAKER_00]: I don't think my person is somebody who ain't gonna wanna talk to me every day.

[SPEAKER_00]: And I don't mean we gotta be on the phone for hours.

[SPEAKER_00]: Just a quick check in, hey, today was a busy day.

[SPEAKER_00]: How are you doing?

[SPEAKER_00]: Or hey, I remember you had this thing, how did it go?

[SPEAKER_00]: Well, this is all the time that I have to talk to you today or whatever, you know, but I just wanted to check in which you had just wanted to hear your voice.

[SPEAKER_00]: I wanted to make sure you're good.

[SPEAKER_00]: Like, I'm not accepting any more relationship dynamics [SPEAKER_00]: I'm not a priority for one, but where you don't want to talk to me.

[SPEAKER_00]: I can't really do that.

[SPEAKER_00]: It just doesn't work for me and may work for other people.

[SPEAKER_00]: I'm not saying this is the one size fits all, but maybe this is what I want.

[SPEAKER_00]: And I noted this out there because I'd be wanting to talk to you every day, like, what?

[SPEAKER_00]: Like, that doesn't even make sense to me, but to each day at home, but that's a dynamic that I no longer willing to accept, or even, you know, in my last relationship, as I mentioned it in a previous episode, but he basically goes to me.

[SPEAKER_00]: Now, there were things, little things leading up to that that, um, [SPEAKER_00]: made me, after the fact, no, okay, this is a, this is a habit.

[SPEAKER_00]: I'm not going to tolerate a relationship dynamic where you fall off the face with the Earth for two days and then come back.

[SPEAKER_00]: You have to communicate with me.

[SPEAKER_00]: First and foremost, communication, consistent communication is very, very, very important to me.

[SPEAKER_00]: So work is in glamorous.

[SPEAKER_00]: It's messy.

[SPEAKER_00]: It's the questions that we avoid asking and answering.

[SPEAKER_00]: The ones that make a squirm or look away, but leaning into it, sitting with the discomfort.

[SPEAKER_00]: I can feel a space opening up in our lives, the space for clarity, for lightness, for something better.

[SPEAKER_00]: It's about noticing the patterns that we've carried, the relationships that no longer service, the habits that we're ready to leave behind, and the vision we want to hold for the future.

[SPEAKER_00]: It's all about honesty with ourselves, even when it's things, even when it's uncomfortable.

[SPEAKER_00]: This process reminds me that growth isn't always about rushing or achieving the next thing.

[SPEAKER_00]: Sometimes it's quiet.

[SPEAKER_00]: Sometimes it's still.

[SPEAKER_00]: Sometimes it's simply asking the questions facing the truth and clearing out the clutter to make room for what is next.

[SPEAKER_00]: And I can feel it.

[SPEAKER_00]: The next chapter is waiting for us with open arms.

[SPEAKER_00]: It is uncluttered.

[SPEAKER_00]: It's empowered and it's honestly ready to receive us.

[SPEAKER_00]: Uh oh y'all, you know what time it is.

[SPEAKER_00]: It is time for our fun closing segment and today's closing segment is Nadie or Nikes.

[SPEAKER_00]: This is a cute little one, especially since it is the holiday season y'all.

[SPEAKER_00]: So this is where we have a list of things.

[SPEAKER_00]: Instead of people, it's our habits and our choices that we are thinking about if they are Nadie or Nikes.

[SPEAKER_00]: If we're thinking about things like overthinking, that'll be naughty, saying, no, without guilt, that will be nice.

[SPEAKER_00]: So I have a little list here that I'm going to go through really quickly, just in the spirit of the season.

[SPEAKER_00]: So the first thing on my list is journaling, is that naughty or nice.

[SPEAKER_00]: Now, we talk about journaling a lot.

[SPEAKER_00]: So obviously, nice, but I will say naughty too, because not because of what you think, but journaling has been a little hard for me lately.

[SPEAKER_00]: As I told y'all, I am doing the artist's way challenge with my best friend for you and the morning pages have been a little difficult.

[SPEAKER_00]: So that's why I would say it's not, but overall it's nice.

[SPEAKER_00]: Next to my list is resting, resting nice, maybe I'm trying to be rested, maybe okay, the next thing is making your bed nice.

[SPEAKER_00]: What, you already talked about nice.

[SPEAKER_00]: I, I used to, so do y'all know Jackie, I know.

[SPEAKER_00]: I, well, I'm not to say her new last name, so I'm just saying Jackie, I know.

[SPEAKER_00]: Anyways, I used to watch her, um, lavishly Jackie content, and I saw that she was steaming her bed and I bought a steamer.

[SPEAKER_00]: Y'all, ever since I bought that steamer, I have been so happy to make up my bed and steam it.

[SPEAKER_00]: Now I have like velvet sheets, so it's a little different, so I don't steam them, but I do steam my um...

Fitted sheet and stuff like that, not my fitted sheet, that's too much.

[SPEAKER_00]: But my flat sheet, I do steam that stuff now, but I love making my beer, it feels like a great start to the day.

[SPEAKER_00]: Next to my list is solo dates.

[SPEAKER_00]: Oh, guys!

[SPEAKER_00]: These are so nerve-wrecking sometimes, especially like a solo day to the rest right, but solo days are nice.

[SPEAKER_00]: And it's something that I definitely want to take more advantage of.

[SPEAKER_00]: I need to date myself a lot more.

[SPEAKER_00]: I really do.

[SPEAKER_00]: I need to figure out some of the things that I like outside of the things that I already know.

[SPEAKER_00]: I know like big picture things, what I like, you know.

[SPEAKER_00]: But you can always learn more about yourself on a solo day.

[SPEAKER_00]: Next on the list is ignoring your budget.

[SPEAKER_00]: Oh, we kind of just talked about this.

[SPEAKER_00]: Y'all, that is naughty.

[SPEAKER_00]: That's all my naughty list, ignoring my budget.

[SPEAKER_00]: It's all my naughty list.

[SPEAKER_00]: Like I said, I don't really pay attention to my personal finances because I paid myself every two weeks.

[SPEAKER_00]: And I'm like, well, you just got to do what you got to do with that two-feet the every two weeks.

[SPEAKER_00]: And sometimes my account is overdrawn.

[SPEAKER_00]: And I'm like, oh my god, I'm about to get charged.

[SPEAKER_00]: It's fee-chases about the charged me to fee.

[SPEAKER_00]: But I need to do better.

[SPEAKER_00]: I can't be a normal budget.

[SPEAKER_00]: I can't be paying for stuff that I don't need to pay for.

[SPEAKER_00]: Like, I gotta get this together.

[SPEAKER_00]: Speak it a budget.

[SPEAKER_00]: Under that is online shopping.

[SPEAKER_00]: Is it not your nice?

[SPEAKER_00]: I'm sorry.

[SPEAKER_00]: I'm gonna say, this is split one.

[SPEAKER_00]: Let me go ahead and say, [SPEAKER_00]: naughty, online shopping is naughty because I want to shop more in person.

[SPEAKER_00]: I want to see it, feel it, touch it, smell it, taste it.

[SPEAKER_00]: in the coach store.

[SPEAKER_00]: Okay.

[SPEAKER_00]: I want to make sure I know what I'm getting.

[SPEAKER_00]: I need to try things on, right?

[SPEAKER_00]: So I think malls are coming back.

[SPEAKER_00]: I saw a documentary a while ago that said like malls are making a comeback and I'm like, I'm glad because I'm tired of buying stuff online and then the pictures don't match whatever you got in the mail.

[SPEAKER_00]: That's annoying.

[SPEAKER_00]: And the last thing I want to list is muting people on social media.

[SPEAKER_00]: Nice.

[SPEAKER_00]: nice.

[SPEAKER_00]: It should have said unfollowing people, all social media.

[SPEAKER_00]: I won't follow you.

[SPEAKER_00]: Even if I know you, I won't follow you.

[SPEAKER_00]: If you are a closer person and we communicate online, I won't unfollow you immediately.

[SPEAKER_00]: I'll mute you first.

[SPEAKER_00]: But.

[SPEAKER_00]: I'm going to follow you because I need all of my spaces to be what I need in the biggie.

[SPEAKER_00]: So if you post in like nasty stuff or you post in very vulgar stuff on the internet, I don't want to see that and you shouldn't be offended that I don't want to see it.

[SPEAKER_00]: You should not be offended.

[SPEAKER_00]: I don't want to say so nice.

[SPEAKER_00]: Okay, muting people on social media is nice All right, you guys that is all that I have for you guys today.

[SPEAKER_00]: I really hope you guys are enjoying the holidays If you're spending them with family if you're spending them elsewhere I hope you are making the holidays feel like home no matter where you are [SPEAKER_00]: But that is all that I have for you guys for this week's episode.

[SPEAKER_00]: If you are watching on our YouTube channel, hey, by the way, but make sure you are subscribed to the YouTube channel, and if you're not hit that big red subscribe button down below, and make sure notifications are on so you can get all of the letters anytime we post any new videos.

[SPEAKER_00]: We have new content coming out every Monday.

[SPEAKER_00]: and then we have pep talk Wednesday episodes on some Wednesdays throughout the year.

[SPEAKER_00]: Okay.

[SPEAKER_00]: And if you're listening to your favorite listening platform, thank you guys so much.

[SPEAKER_00]: Make sure you share this episode with a friend.

[SPEAKER_00]: Anybody that you care about?

[SPEAKER_00]: share this episode with them so they can write these questions down so they can answer them themselves so they can be set up for success in the new year.

[SPEAKER_00]: I make sure that you rate the podcast, make sure you follow it, rate the podcast and leave us a review.

[SPEAKER_00]: I've been seeing more reviews from y'all lately.

[SPEAKER_00]: Thank y'all so much because I read them all.

[SPEAKER_00]: Since I've been saying this a lot more, y'all have been showing up and I am so freaking grateful.

[SPEAKER_00]: So if you have not left a review, [SPEAKER_00]: do it now.

[SPEAKER_00]: Right now, 10 words.

[SPEAKER_00]: Say, hey Tyra, love the show.

[SPEAKER_00]: I don't know.

[SPEAKER_00]: Let me see.

[SPEAKER_00]: I want to say something that if you leave the review, I know that it came from this episode.

[SPEAKER_00]: Oh, say, hey Tyra, I love your Christmas pillows.

[SPEAKER_00]: Boom.

[SPEAKER_00]: I love your Christmas pillows.

[SPEAKER_00]: Make that to review so I know that it came from this episode or whatever platform you listen to the podcast on.

[SPEAKER_00]: But that's all that I have for you guys today.

[SPEAKER_00]: I really hope you enjoyed this vulnerable moment.

[SPEAKER_00]: And if you have not bought your 2026, [SPEAKER_00]: New Year New Me Workbook.

[SPEAKER_00]: The link is down below in the show notes once again.

[SPEAKER_00]: Go ahead and purchase it so you can really dig deep into that shadow work.

[SPEAKER_00]: I didn't share all of the questions that are in the workbook.

[SPEAKER_00]: So this is a whole section that you really need to take some time and really shed some light on those darker parts of ourselves that we keep tucked away.

[SPEAKER_00]: But with that being said, thank you guys so much for listening.

[SPEAKER_00]: I love you all happy holidays and I will see you