Countdown with Keith Olderman is a production of iHeartRadio.

Hey have fun watching Trump fell h Putin in their meeting today in Alaska, Now in Russia.

No in Alaska, No in Russia.

You know, I don't know where it is anymore.

I'm too busy, still giggling that Caroline Levitt renamed it from the Putin Ukraine Summit into Trump's listening exercise, Trump listening to Putin a listening exercise with Putin listening to Putin tell him what to do?

No shit.

As always the last line of defense against democracy besides South Park, this fact, the last line of defense for democracy is these guys are idiots, and this one is simple to see.

What's going to happen.

Trump and Putin will leave this photo op having agreed on something utterly agreeable to Putin, like the ceasefire that Axios reports Trump told European leaders yesterday he really wants and you know what that would be.

Putin will agree to a ceasefire.

If Ukraine will stop annoying Putin by trying to defend its territory, then Trump will claim a victory that he has settled this war.

Then Ukraine will reject it.

Although President Zelenski's real play would be to say this is two naive and ideas he even merit a comment, and then Trump will blame Zelenski and say, well, he resolved this war except for the war part, and that Zelensky screwed it up.

But he's the great deal maker and you must love him.

Now.

Actually it may turn out worse than that.

The Times of London, reporting with this headline, US and Russia propose West Bank style occupation of Ukraine.

Trump's envoy, Steve Whitkoff, is understood to support the idea, which can be revealed before the President meets Putin in Alaska.

We Sure about Alaska.

Russia and the United States have discussed a model for ending the war in Ukraine that mirrors Israel's occupation of the West Bank.

The Times has been told, under this scenario, Right Sure would have military and economic control of occupied Ukraine under its own governing body, imitating Israel's de facto rule of Palestinian territory seized from Jordan in nineteen sixty seven.

The idea was raised weeks ago in discussions between Steve Whitkoff and his Russian counterparts.

According to a source, close to the US National Security Council.

Sure Witkoff thought this up himself.

Witkoff is still playing with his toes.

Quote.

It'll just be like Israel occupies the West Bank, the source said, with a governor with an economic situation that goes into Russia, not Ukraine.

But it'll still be Ukraine because Ukraine will never give up its sovereignty.

But the reality is it'll be occupied territory and the model of Palestine unquote, just like Israel and the West Bank, it'll be Ukraine, only the Ukrainians there will be ruled by another country and have their children shot by that country.

Best possible model out there, the West Bank.

From Bloomberg TV, Treasury Secretary Scott Bessant told them sanctions are a possibility if Putin doesn't do what Trump wants.

Trump will quote make it clear to President Putin that all options are on the table.

Yes, the options are Trump will pee his pants or Trump will shit his pants.

From Politico.

Trump said Putin could face very severe consequences if he decides Putin is still not serious about ending the war.

Ooh, serious consequences this time?

You know what that means.

That means Trump will no longer give him another fifty days to end the war.

He'll only give him twenty five more days to end the war.

Trump is a laughingstock after a meeting that hasn't happened yet.

You want to impress the world?

Trump, Do you want to make up for everything at the meeting, during the photo op, during the handshake attack putin with your manly bare hands around the throat.

Very severe consequences.

What you won't let him hack the American Federal Court document computers next time?

You won't give him all the data on the sources who help prosecute Russians.

Severe consequences.

Threaten him with sanctions on Russian oil while letting him wash Russian crude oil through China and India.

Trumpe.

Kitty kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty kitty.

Okay about the new military dictatorship in Washington that Trump has threatened to impose also on Baltimore, Chicago, and New York.

Mayor Muriel Bowser of Washington described Trump's moves as unsettling and unprecedented.

Correct.

Then she added the fact that we have more law enforcement presence in neighborhoods.

You know, that may be a positive.

Bullshit, Mayor.

It's a military dictatorship that is in no way a positive, Madam, Mayor.

It is a dry run for installing the army, the army Trump believes is his, like Julius Caesar thought the army was his, like Hitler thought the army was his, installing it in every place in your city, Mayor, and then around own the country, mostly to overrule mayors and governors who will not obey him or who are democrats.

It is a military dictatorship.

Tryout, Mayor, if you're going to be foolish enough to feel the way you do to use the word positive in connection with Donald Trump.

The difference between exploiting any value you might perceive and collaborating is shutting the f up.

If he is inadvertently helping the city of Washington in some way, great, don't tell him that, because he doesn't care whether or not he's helping the city of Washington.

He only wants the that may be a positive part, because now forever he will say the mayor said it was a positive.

Washington City Paper reports Mayor Bowser finally snapped out of her pacifist dream.

We don't live in a dirty city, Powser declared during a Zoom meeting with invited community leaders.

We are not seven hundred thousand scumbags and punks, and we don't have neighborhoods that should be bulldozed.

Our community needs to jump in.

We all need to do what we can in our space, in our lane to protect our city and get to the other side of this guy and make sure we elect a democratic House so that we have a backstop to this authoritarian push.

Well, that's a little bit more like it.

Also, what Trump is doing Washington is based on an utter lie.

Not just an utter lie, but based on the exact opposite of what Trump and the whore is working for him said not four months ago.

It's a lie about what they said.

What they them said selves pre contradicted the lie that crime is increasing in the District of Columbia, speaking of the District of Columbia.

This is a lie and a self flagellation worthy of Columbia University.

Less than four months ago, the Trump goon ed Martin was literally insisting there was a one quarter drop in violent crime in Washington and demanding we all praise Trump for it.

April twenty eighth quote.

Thanks to the leadership of President Trump and the efforts of our Make DC Safe Again initiative, the district has seen a significant decline in violent crime.

We are proving that strong enforcement and smart policies can make our community safer.

It's so safe, and we're so good, and Trump is so wonderful.

We're bringing in the troops.

They will lie in any direction.

They will contradict themselves in any direction.

They will say whatever is necessary this minute, no matter how much it contradicts an hour ago, or how much they will contradict it tomorrow.

And if there were any doubts as to what Trump's plans long term are here, he gave them away yesterday.

He might as well have put on the big Kim Jong un hat that he likes so much.

By the way, the day he comes out wearing a military outfit with one of those big hats, it's over.

That is the day when either he goes or any chance at restoring American democracy goes.

We're not there yet because he doesn't have a hat.

In the interim, though, we have this bullshit.

Your federalization of the police has a thirty day limit unless Congress acts to extend it.

Are you talking to Congress about extending it or do you believe thirty days is sufficient.

Well, if it's a national emergency, we can do it without Congress, but we expect to be to Congress before Congress very quickly.

And again we think the Democrats will not do anything to stop crime, but we think the Republicans will do it almost unanimously.

So we're going to need a crime bill that we're going to be putting in and it's going to pertain initially to DC.

It's almost we're going to use it as a very positive example, and we're going to be asking for extensions on that, long term extensions, because you can't have thirty days.

Thirty days is that's by the time you do it, We're going to have this in good shape.

And don't forget in the border.

Everyone said it would take years and you'd have to go back to Congress.

I never went to Congress for anything.

I just said close the border, and he closed the border and that was the end of it.

I didn't go back to Congress.

We're going to do this very quickly.

The f you can f face Brian Boitler, why I should pay By the quote I quote him so much wrote yesterday that in DC, at least the Second Amendment should be honored.

He means the real Second Amendment, the real intent, the idea that residents of the individual states and territories should be allowed to defend themselves against an armed, authoritarian federal government.

He's not talking about the gunfight at the DuPont Circle Corral, but he's saying, maybe it's time to reduce the hurdles keeping Americans who live in places like DC, like New York who would be threatened by Trump, physically threatened by Trump, physically threatened by Trump's isis physically threatened by Trump's brown shirts, physically threatened.

Efforts should be made by local constituencies to reduce the restrictions to keep these people who are being physically threatened the ones he's called traitors, reduce the restrictions on them getting weapons with which to protect themselves if they so choose.

On to Trump Stein one of the greatest of the Monty Python jokes that usually goes by so fast in the episode you don't even notice it.

John Clees in a BBC truck Graham Chapman having just done something for the BBC standing next to it, and Graham Chapman says, can you give me a lift?

And John Clee says can do?

But won't This from Aba Brown at the press briefing the other day, Trump wants to see credible evidence released.

The reporter asked a judge rule that the grand jury transcripts in Galaine Maxwell's case should not be released.

Levitt says, I think that is unfortunate.

The president wants to see credible evidence released.

As for the appeal process, I would send you to the Department of Justice for that.

Well, sure, he wants to see credible evidence released, but of course he also wants to make sure that such evidence is not released.

Just like crime is going up in DC, except it's twenty five percent down, says his spokesman, who's not around, so you can't go back to him and say, were you lying then or is Trump lying now?

Or both?

We want to see credible evidence released.

Not on this planet.

She's a genius.

I mean she just is.

She is the absolute genius of all geniuses, isn't she a We do not yet have the official trump Stein files, but seeing N has its own version.

They wrote in twenty nineteen in an interview Epstein referred to Trump as his closest friend for ten years, a claim echoed by three others who knew the men.

Maria Farmer, one of Epstein's first victims to speak publicly, Stacy Williams, a former model who dated Epstein, and Jack O'Donnell, a former Trump casino executive, all of whom use the phrase best friend to describe their bond in recent interviews on CNN, A timeline of Trump's interactions with Epstein and Glaine Maxwell reveals a long pattern CNN reported of social proximity that stands in sharp contrast to Trump's public attempts to downplay their friendship.

End quote.

The timeline that CNN then produced, which goes on page after page after page, and photograph after photograph after photograph, on and on and on bulges with flight logs.

Trump on Epstein's jet, Epstein on Trump's jet, Trump at Epstein's mansion next door, Epstein at Trump's mansion next door, Trump on Epstein's jet, Epstein on Trump's jet, Trump and his son Eric on Epstein's jet, Trump on Epstein's girlfriend.

Now, as to the records of Galaine Maxwell's still unexplained move from a federal pen in Florida to basically minimum security in Texas, with the right to leave the campus to go to work.

Reportedly, Senator white House of Rhode Island has written to the Director of the Federal Prisons Bureau for the documents, Alison gil the Muller.

She wrote, person has some of them already from a source.

According to a source, she writes, Maxwell's transfer code is threeh eight Security transfer.

This transfer code is normally reserved for inmates whose point total has come down, but sex offenders are never transferred to minimum security facilities.

Her security point score is twenty seven.

This total is comprised of a twenty point custody score and a seven point base score.

Her twenty point custody score.

And here is something that's obviously been screenshotted off a computer monitor.

Time served four twenty six to seventy five percent living skills to good, frequently of discipline report.

I guess that is what that abbreviation means.

Three none prague participant two good for progress, I guess towards not being a pedophile type discipline report five none and family slash community for good.

She's like family to us.

Then she has a seven point base score, which is the highest severity because of as is written by ms Gill, because of her sex offender status.

So despite her score of twenty seven resulting in a minimum security level, BOP policy does not allow people with a sex offender public safety factor to serve their sentences in minimum security facilities.

Someone has to waive the PSF to make that move.

And then there is a screenshot that reads name Maxwell, Glaine pub fifty semi colen sex offender.

This indicates she is a threat to the public because of her sex offender status, and her management variable of PSF WAV indicates her sex offender status has been waived in order to facilitate her move to a minimum security facility.

So when the question is will Trump pardon her, that's almost an irrelevancy.

As I have been saying here, from the day that Trump sent his former personal attorney, the now Deputy Attorney General of the United States to see her in jail and give her two days of immunity.

From that point, Trump has already had a deal with Glaine Maxwell.

He is already figuratively in bed with Gallaine Maxwell, the witness, the living witness in the Trump Steen case, and she is allowed to leave, you know, prison, where's she going?

Oh, she's allowed to leave.

She'll be back tonight, even though she's sentenced to stay here through twenty thirty seven.

The Stephen Wright joke suddenly occurs to me.

He goes to the twenty four to seven deli says open twenty four to seven, and he walks up to it, and the sign in the window says closed, and he wraps on the glass and the guy running the place comes to it and goes, what we're closed?

Stephen Wright says, it says you're open twenty four to seven, and the guy running the store says, not in a row?

Four more things and sorry for the ragged nature of this episode.

There are dog health emergencies at the moment that I need to deal with.

For anybody else who said, like me in late two thousand and one, are you sure you want to call it the Department of Homeland Security?

Homeland And isn't that a hmmm mmm?

Term?

Isn't that?

Is it a little too not too Nazi for you?

Homeland Security put out this meme which way americanman join ice dot gov.

It's a picture of Uncle Sam and he's got a sign post that reads law and order and it's from cultural decline is one direction.

Homeland invasion Opportunity service the key part of this, though, As the immigration expert and lawyer Aaron Reichlan Melnick notes, Trump's people at DHS are referencing here when they write which way American Man?

They are referencing here, Which way Western Man?

A book by white supremacist William Gaily Simpson that was published by an American neo Nazi organization, the Republican Party.

Oh no, sorry, I read that wrong, an American neo Nazi organization, the National Alliance.

In the book, Simpson argued that Hitler was right and Jews must be killed which way Western Man?

But of course, Ice, Christy Nome, Trump, Tom Holman, the rest of these mfors.

They didn't say which way Western man.

They're not neo Nazis.

They just said which way American man?

We go From American man to American dildo.

That would be Clay Travis used to be a sportscaster of some kind, the same con men who were claiming to be defending women athletes from the horrors of transgendered competitors, all five or six of them nationwide you remember them.

They appeared right before the election and made a big deal about Leah Thomas and all those other transgendered athletes, none of whom they could identify, and the NCAA said they thought there might be one in the state of Michigan.

Same guys, Clay Travis, Well they're back.

This is about the recent rash of green sex toys that have been thrown at w NBA games to promote crypto, because actually I think crypto, I think of people playing with themselves.

Clay Travis, who was one of the people who platformed Whiny Gains on this scourge of all these transgendered competitors who made her finish eighty fifth in the Olympic Trials per Media Matters, I'll just quote them.

Travis offered to donate money to the legal defense fund of someone accused of throwing a sex toy at a WNBA game for every copy of his book that was sold.

Travis posted several times about the incident.

Latest dildo gambling odds are posted lots of value on a white dildo after last night's purple dildo.

I'll stop using that word here over under WNBA accounts at seven for the season feels low.

Other posts, he said quote, I agree, not funny, classless.

The penal code exists for a reason, guys, penalties are stiff.

He's one of the intellectuals of the right wing fascist sports world.

Don't let that look of it on his face, like, as Bill Hicks once said, like a dog to whom you have just shown a card trick.

Don't let that fool you.

Clay Travis is a genius.

I understand he can actually write his own name.

Now, which is the worst penalty for the WNBA green thrower?

Get banned from attending WNBA games for a year or you're forced to attend an entire season of games.

Now, Remember this is the same guy saying that the women in sports needed to be defended.

Travis also posted, according to Media Matters, an edited picture of what appears to be President Donald Trump throwing from the White House roof onto a WNBA court.

Well, we know he didn't put a WNBA court in the White House.

He just put in the cheapest looking patio from the hot Sheet hotel outside the White House.

Are we sure, by the way, that that's an edited picture of Trump throwing something off the roof, particularly something like that On the other hand, to be fair, who would know better about how to discuss dildo usage with other men than Clay Travis.

Unrelated to this, the Sydney Sweeney scandal, I actually tweeted, and I meant it sincerely, Who the f is Sydney Sweeney.

I assumed, because you don't see a lot of guys named Sidney anymore, that this was a woman and some influencer.

Turns out she's an actress, an actress who did a Gen's commercial.

Somebody thought the actress was in a Genes commercial that was misogynistic.

Wow, a Gene's commercial that's misogynistic.

A lot is the world coming to the right decided that somebody who wrote this or said this, one person apparently spoke for all liberals for all time, and you, none of you ever could possibly have your own opinions on your or not care or anything else.

And then Sean Hannity went to prove this with a pole with an economist.

You gov poll, do you think the Sydney Sweeney ad is more clever, offensive, either or not sure?

Thirty nine percent said it was clever, forty percent said it was neither, eight percent said they were not sure, and twelve percent said it was offensive, So eighty seven percent of America says it's not offensive.

Forty eight percent say they don't give a crap even for a Sean Hannity speech impediment rage factory bullshit story.

This is a bullshit story.

Trump has named the host of the next Kennedy Center Honors show.

It's himself, and I thought it was going to be Sidney Sweeney.

So Trump is going to host it himself.

So the first three hours will be him bitching about how he really won the eighteen seventy six election and how he's one hundred and eighty five pounds.

The camera just makes him look bigger and he's only forty four years old, if we're going by twenty four month years.

He's also named the Honorees Kiss Kennedy Center Honors Kiss Kiss.

Jeene Simmons hates Trump.

Jeene Simmons, a conservative, hates Trump.

Does he know tomorrow's story will be Kennedy Center does not honor Kiss.

George Straight, I'm sorry, George Straight sucks.

Sylvester Stallone.

I'm sorry, Rocky.

It's a terrible movie and Sylvester Stallone sucks.

Michael Crawford star a Phantom of the Opera, and well he was like the eighth leading man in the Hello Dolly movie.

He's somewhere down well below Walter Mathow on the list of credits in the Hello Dolly.

Honestly, Trump thinks he chose Cindy Crawford, right, he doesn't.

Roderick Crawford.

Yeah, I picked dud Crawford and finally Gloria Gainer.

Now, as I have aged, it turned out I like disco as much as anybody else.

From the seventies, I now find that two out of every five hundred disco records are palatable.

For the longest time was it was one, and during that time it was none.

I like to think I've mellowed and her song I Will Survive is iconic.

I can go a decade without hearing it, but it's iconic.

It's a great song.

Another great song is Nana No No, Hey, Hey, Goodbye by Steam.

Of course, Nancy Faust made that a big hit.

Gloria Gaynor had a number one hit one one number one hit for three weeks, not consecutive.

I'd like to point out that also on the all time list of number one hits, disco duck by Rick Dees, but that was only for a week, so Rick would not be honored.

Gloria Gaynor I Will Survive was on the first Rolling Stones list of the five hundred Greatest Songs of all Time.

It came into number four hundred and ninety two.

Then they redid this and something happened.

There was a recount, some votes were thrown out.

I don't know, it's now two hundred and fifty.

First, I'm not saying that if something I had sung, and I have sung here badly, if something I had sung here was suddenly named the two hundred and fifty first greatest song of all time, I'm not saying I would say you want to take that off the list, But two hundred and fifty first, I'm not getting a jacket made up with that on the back.

I sang the two hundred and fifty first greatest song of all time, and then a little in the bottom.

They're ten spots behind the Humpty Dance.

She's got to be proud.

Kennedy Center Honors.

They'll never hear from any of these people anyway, because Trump has named himself the host of the Kennedy Center Honors, so it will be the Kennedy Center or whatever he's calling it, the ken Trumpety Center honors Trump, and he'll just talk about himself, possibly for more than one day.

Lastly, if that were not comic relief enough for you, just when you think Anna Pauline A Luna or Nancy Mace or Derek van Orden or Tulci Gabbard or Senator Roger Nine Gwen Marshall could challenge Marjorie's stupid Green for dumbest Republican of all time, no they can't.

And so it's really interesting to see these people just use their basically their platforms as a bully puppet and just go straight to name calling and lying.

Bully puppet, bully puppet.

It's it's pulpit, Marge, Yeah, p u l But you know, for all intensive purposes, we have to nip this in the butt, extract revenge literally and irregardless, and give the honor that is due.

Here with the Nobel Peace Prize.

But this begs the question, is Marjorie Barney Rubbel Green no longer just the stupidest Republican but the stupidest human alive?

Also of interest, here Andrew Cuomo has done one of these, only it was with a Muhammad Ali quote.

The Muhammad Ali quote, and Andrew Cuomo has been defeated by a Muhammad Ali quote as well as by Mandani.

That's next.

This is Countdown.

I got that right.

This is Countdown with Keith Olberman.

Still ahead on this all new edition of Countdown.

I am late to the anniversary by more than one week in fact, but I can never forget this anniversary at this time of year, seared into my memory forty six years and twelve days ago, a month into my career.

Seven solo shifts into my career, and this it's our catcher and captain of the New York Yankees baseball team is killed in a plane crash.

His plane one minute before I was going on to do a sportscast carried by one thousand radio stations on our network.

Next in things I promise not to tell first believe it or not, the fun stuff.

There are still more new idiots to talk about.

The roundup of the misgrants, morons and Dunning Kruger effects specimens who constitute today's other worst persons in the world.

The Bronze worse after Trump's step towards military dictatorship in DC no, he's not just trying to throw raw meat to the base.

He's trying to take over the dictatorship and start it now.

After that, everything that is wrong in the media and wrong in this country, and raw in the Leopards Eating Faces party, all those people who said I didn't know the leopardsre gonna eat my face, and in its rival, the I didn't know we were frogs being boiled alive party, All that is wrong in all of these things summed up in eighteen words on CNN.

Literally, the network can go off the air now.

It is fulfilled its final purpose to summarize this nightmare in less than twenty words.

I guess the contest is twenty five words or less.

She beat it by seven eighteen words.

It was, of course on CNN, and it was of course by Casey Hunt, who's one of the hosts there.

I would say newscaster, but that's not that's not what she does.

This is another person, another celebrity on CNN, who has decided that the events of the world do not apply to her, that she lives in some other world over there, cross town, that the things that happen don't apply to her and never will touch her and she'll never have a problem with him.

And she was on the Trump campaign in twenty sixteen.

And like everybody else who covered that, now that they're not facing that every day, they seem some of some merit in this, like the mayor of Washington saying, well, maybe this it's not gonna be a help.

You're gonna be in a prison camp.

If not now, then later.

Christ read your history book.

You don't have to go to about page fifteen.

In any event, this is what happened.

Representative Jamie Raskin was on Casey Hunt's show Treasure Hunter, whatever it's called, and talked about the fact that crime is significantly down.

It's the second lowest murder rate in sixty years in Washington, second lowest overall crime rate in thirty years in Washington, dropping by twenty five percent.

Trump boasted that it was down by Trump's lackey ed Martin boasted, and Trump boasted that crime is down by a quarter since he took office.

It's already down, and yet he's doing this, And what does Casey Hunt ask Jamie Raskin?

We know that statistics show crime is down in DC, but does it feel like crime is down what's the vibe, because we're gonna turn this country into a dictatorship because Casey Hunt has a bad vibe because she and Bennie Johnson.

Benny Johnson, of course, has been Benny Johnson has been murdered several times when he lived in Washington, and then he came back to life.

And they and they and they burned down his house, and they had murders outside his house, and murders in his basement, and they they lit they lit an entire city block on fire, and and the and the nuclear weapons were used on his block.

You heard him, and Casey Hunt is asking, does it feel like crime is down?

I don't know.

Does it feel to you like you're a functioning idiot?

Does it feel like crime is do That's why we are going to hell in a handbasket.

Because somebody would say something like that, I would argue that that is a dumber thing said on CNN than the day a decade ago after the Malaysian airliner disappeared, and Don Lemon asked if there could be a small enough black hole in the universe to have swallowed up just the one aircraft that it might have just gone into a into a black hole.

That was pretty That really was an indicator that somebody had never considered anything about black holes physics.

What would happen if there were a black hole near the Earth that one necessarily big enough to swallow a plane would swallow the entirety of Earth and his own house.

Nope, no, no, no.

I would argue, this is dumber.

This is somebody in the news whose newscast is not necessarily so influential that the CNN executives would try to kill it off or turn them into a Trump supporter the way they did with Jake Tapper.

I mean, Chris Lick did not even bother trying to turn Casey Hunt into anything other than what she is.

Somebody would ask, we know that statistics show crime is don't in DC, but does it feel like crime is down?

You can put that on the country's epitaph.

Put that right on the stone United States of America.

It was a good idea seventeen seventy six, twenty twenty five.

But does it feel like crime is done?

Also?

Does this pot that we're in feel warmer than it does?

And what about those leopards eating those faces?

Does it feel like they're eating those faces?

Runner up worser Andrew Cuomo.

Can't imagine you missed this, but if you did somehow, He put this out on Twitter about his supposed fight against Zorn Mamdani for mayor of New York, the one he already lost and has decided for some reason to go out and lose again, two in one year.

He decided to compliment his fighting spirit his return from you know, being one of the many New York governors who had to resign, this time both over a sex scandal and over a dead people scandal.

Good good, good, good good governor be mayor now.

Yeah, except he's losing by more than he than he was losing in the primary.

In any event, I haven't gotten around to what he wrote.

He wrote, fly like a butterfly sting like a bee.

Literally the most famous quote given by worldwide, the most famous person in the nineteen seventies certainly, and still into the eighties and nineties and into this decade, the beginning of this decade, anyway.

When he died two thousand and sixteen, I want to say, literally his most famous quote.

You google ali quote and the one you get is float like a butterfly, sting like a bee.

That's why it's famous.

It's clever.

It doesn't have the same word in it twice in a span of one, two, three four words fly like a butterfly, fly like a flying butterfly, would be better fly butterly like a flying butterfly.

Andrew, did you read it aloud before you hit s end?

Did you ask anybody else to do it?

Or is there even worse somebody you hired to do social media for you who wrote that this is Andrew Cuomo's best chance to become mayor of New York.

Cancel all the ads, Cancel all of his idiotic ads, stop all social media, in fact, leave the country until election day.

I guarantee you if you do that, you will go up in the polls.

I'm not saying you'll come close to Himndannie, but you will go up in the polls.

The only thing I can figure about this whole campaign is that it's even there's some sort of punked prank and they're filming it all to make it into a reality series called Andrew Cuomo deliberately loses the election or the campaign is just one giant coded message from Cuomo to Trump that yes, Cuomo will serve as Trump's military governor of the New York Zone when Trump puts every blue city under martial law after Casey Hunt is done asking, but does it feel see Cuomo in New York, Janine Piro in Wine Country, and of course Casey Hunt in Washington.

Fly like a butterfly unless he was trying, and we've gotten this all wrong.

He was trying not for Muhammad Ali, but for the Steve Miller band.

Fly like an eagle, sting like uh, I'm I'm free, Float like a butterfly, stink from the head like a fish.

And still there's something worse.

The winner, the worst.

Jeff Bezos.

I'm just gonna read this post from Okay magazine.

Okay, well it's okay.

Letter Oh letter k exclamation point?

How do you pronounce that?

Okay?

Quote?

Jeff Bezos is about to make his wife Lauren Sanchez a star.

Insiders recently revealed Bezos' plans to launch his wife into the sun No launch his wife into a prominent acting role in the James Bond reboot, claiming the billionaire is fit on seeing her in the film.

I think the word you were going for there is fixated.

Quote.

He's obsessed a Hollywood insider dished to a news outlet, this isn't just fantasy casting.

Jeff wants her on screen period.

I guess on the theory that if he has to suffer her, we all have to suffer her.

Okay, okay.

So Bezos bought the Bond franchise a couple months ago.

He asked people online who the next Bond Girl should be.

And now this would explain why he did that, because Lauren Sanchez would be the next Bond Girl.

A few problems.

First, she can't move her lips anymore.

I mean when she could move her lips when I worked with her, she couldn't move her lips.

The famous tape, I don't know what became of it.

And once again I copied so many things in so many different jobs.

I don't have this.

The famous spot for Fox Sports News quote her on camera reading a story about the baseball pitcher quote Roger Clemens era is the second lowest in his er.

And that was done to be fair.

She was a little busy at the time.

She was carrying the child of an NFL player while dating an NBA player.

This was just before she left Fox and went to the local independent station in lak cop and did the news and did that sweep series I've told you about before, how to Meet a Baller, which I thought was the most appalling thing I'd ever seen in local television news until I realized that for the first time here was a sweep series, how to sweep series there was actually being conducted by an expert.

I mean, the two of them now when they are in public, they look like Waylon Jenny and Madam.

No, Whalen Flowers and Madam.

Whalen Jennings was the musical artist, the country western star.

Whalen Flowers was his name.

I may have called him Whalen Jennings at some point.

Look up Whalen Flowers and Madam and just you know, Google image or something, or don't you know, maybe just go to Amazon and buy Whalen Flowers and Madam.

You'll see what I'm talking about.

I get it.

Jeff, You're worth all the money in the world.

Of course you get a trophy wife.

Conversely, you're Lauren Sanchez.

Your goal is to find the richest man you can.

I don't think that's a sexist observation.

I literally I literally met her in nineteen ninety eight.

It is an analysis of her life to that point, let alone.

Since then, I'm not objecting.

I'm not judging people relationships.

I have a whole pile of relationships that people go what you did?

What?

Seriously, what were you thinking?

And of course the correct answer is nothing.

I was thinking nothing obviously.

Sorry.

I mean, that's my attitude towards it.

I'm just as guilty as the rest of them.

However, I'm not objecting.

But you are doing it in public, and if this is correct, you are going into a James Bond movie with no professional acting experience.

You're going to get some attention.

But the real problem begins when Daddy Warbucks over here decides Lauren is a James Bond girl at least.

Okay, magazine says that that is what he has decided.

Let me read that money quote again.

Okay, he says Bezos quote plans to law launch his wife into a prominent acting role in the James Bond reboot.

Doesn't say which one.

Doesn't say Bond girl.

We're just assuming what that role is Bond girl.

It could be something else.

Jeff Bezos with Lauren Sanchez as Odd Job, or with Lauren Sanchez as Richard keel as Jaws, Today's other worst person in the.

The Nobel Peace Prize.

And now to our number one story on the count down and things I promised not to tell, And back to my favorite topic, me and I will take you back a little ways, back to August second, nineteen seventy nine.

One month earlier to that day, July second, nineteen seventy nine, I had been in the stands in my family's seats back of first base at Yankee Stadium in New York.

I was a twenty year old fan, unemployed, applauding Thurman Munson's RBI double and Lou Panela's two for four day and Roy White's appearance since he was my mother's favorite New York Yankee player.

Now August second, I was finishing the first month of my professional broadcasting career.

It was either my seventh or eighth solo shift as the nighttime sportscaster at UPI's radio network.

For my first sports cast have that night, I had long since finished my script.

Tom Watson was leading in Round one of the PG Championship golf that is in Michigan.

The lawyer who owned the Washington team of the NFL, Edward Bennett Williams had just bought the Baltimore Orioles.

There was a Montreal Expo Chicago Cubs matinee in Montreal with three rain delays, and they were supposed to have had a roof on that stadium.

It was five forty three pm Eastern, and I was making the short walk from the little sports cubby hole where I prepared the broadcast, to the little main on air studio, and just walking past this bank of thermal printers which each made this same sluggish, muted honking sound like that as they slowly printed stories on what wasn't really paper.

There was the main UPI wire, There was the UPI Sports wire, the UPI Business wire, the UPI International Wire, the UPI Radio wire, several internal message wires.

There was a UPI Tartar wire, But it was the message wires that suddenly started to make noise.

Those were the ones via which the UPI bureaus around the world could communicate more or less instantly with headquarters in New York, the equivalent of I guess texts or intra office top lines in computers faster than an email.

Even today New York, the New York Bureau was abbreviated an X.

Not sure why, but there was New York was NX.

As I got within a foot of these machines, one of them made a noise I had never heard before, a series of ten loud bells.

I moved over to see what the hell that could mean.

The news editor, Frank Rayfield, came over to check as well.

Obviously he hadn't heard this a lot in his career, and his was longer than mine.

We saw the words simultaneously, and we gasped simultaneously.

Cleveland Bureau to NX.

Thurman Munson Catcher Captain New York Yankees dead, piloting private plane, Canton Akron Airport thirty.

As soon as the words finished printing, Cleveland sent it again.

The bells went off again.

I could now see from one of the ubiquitous clocks in the room.

I now had about a minute until my sportscast started, whether or not I was in the studio.

The editor pointed this out to me, as well, you'll have to add lib the sports cast, then come out here and do a voicer just talk about his career, keep repeating that this is a bulletin, that he's dead, that he was piloting a private plane.

You know anything about him and planes?

And I remember saying aloud, oh God, yes I do, and he said, well, use whatever you think fits.

If anything else comes in, I'll bring it in to you and I'll try to get somebody at the airport for some sound.

I don't remember what I said on the air at five point forty five Eastern time or anything else that night, nor in the special report the voicer that the editor Frank had just had me record.

As soon as I finished that live sports cast, it was all recorded, and I never wanted to hear a word of it because I knew my youth was over right then.

Thurman Munson had joined the New York Yankees when I was ten years old, literally half my life ago.

On that date, he was the first good rookie I ever saw added to my team.

The Yankees stunk when I was a kid.

My family was convinced he looked like my mother's cousin Billy.

I met him a couple of times.

I'd photographed him once when I was a photographer, interviewed him once.

He was gruff, he was forbidding, but I had never had a problem with him.

If you were polite, and you had picked the right moment to do it.

There wasn't a problem what I knew about him and his plane.

Frank Rayfield's question to me, I spoke of as generically as possible, because in my mind I flashed back to lunch in the press room at the old Yankee Stadium four months earlier, when I was still in college, sitting there with my friend Rick Sarone.

Rick Sarone an editor and writer, not Rick Saron, who would later be the Yankees catcher replacing Thurman Munson.

Of all people, Munson editor, Rick Sarone said, almost surreptitiously, leaning in toward me over the little table in the press room, is flying his own plane back home to Ohio on every day off, and the Yankees are terrified.

He's just not as good a pilot as he thinks he is, honest to God, one of the executives is trying to get Steinbrenner to trade him to Cleveland just so he'll get out of the plane.

They all think he might wind up himself.

I don't even know how many special reports I did, in addition to a new sports cast every hour that night.

Later, a friend of mine from college who did not even know I had gotten this job as a sportscaster, told me he was driving in Buffalo listening to the news on the radio at about quarter to six that night, August second, he heard them say Munson had been killed with more here's Keith Olberman in New York.

And he said he almost drove off the road and he wasn't sure if it was because Munson was dead or because the guy had said, here's Keith Alderman in New York.

And I do know my boss, Sam Rosen, who did the morning shift and would have only gotten home from it at around noon or one or two pm that day, so only maybe four hours earlier.

He came back into the office that night to supervise things and to put together a long memorial special to feed to the one thousand stations that used our stuff.

Boy was I glad to see him until that is.

He handed me a piece of paper.

These are the home phone numbers for lou Panella and Roy White, Yankees outfielders Roy White, lou Panella.

Call them, Sam said, try to do interviews, be gentle, just to even get one cut from them.

Like Munson, they had played in that game exactly one month before my last as a fan, before I started to work for UPI, lou Panella answered his own phone, and somehow I asked him if he would talk to me for two minutes, and he did, and almost immediately he burst into tears.

And this was such raw, immediate, brutal pain evident in his voice.

I did the only thing I could think of.

I said, listen, you shouldn't have to do this all night.

I'll make copies of this interview, give it to the other radio networks so they will leave you alone.

Only after that did I think to ask my boss if I could do that, and mercifully Sam said it was when I called Roy White, and Roy White was literally on the Yankees the day I had become a baseball fan at the age of seven.

Roy White begged me to tell him that there'd been some sort of mistake, that Thurman Munson was not dead, and both he and Loupenella were blunt but gentle and above and beyond courteous to me.

And I did make copies of both of the interviews, and I can see myself handing a cassette to a guy from NBC named Mike Leventhal ran a kind of a cartel, almost a black market among New York radio sports reporters.

So if somehow you heard Lou Penella or Roy White talking about Thurman Munsen's death on the dight night had happened to the day after that my interview.

I also remembered discovering, after three or four hours of literally working NonStop, that I had never really known what that meant.

I remember I was supposed to be done at eleven, but stayed until one am, just barely making the last train back to my folks house.

I remember my boss Sam Rose and talking to our stringer in San Francisco, his friend Rob Navius, and saying, they're killing my team.

We should go to Mexico and smoke ourselves.

Blind in my youthful misunderstanding of how these things worked, I found myself coming back to the thought that I had somehow failed failed.

Thurman Munson failed as fans failed by not telling somebody about that Yankee fear from April that Rick Serone had told me that Munson was not as good a pilot as he thought he was, Although even then I asked myself, who the hell you're going to tell?

There are two postscripts to my story of the twenty year old me covering the night Thurman months and died.

Twenty years later, I was hosting Baseball's Game of the Week on Fox and I asked my producer what we were doing for the Munson anniversary, and he asked what anniversary.

He was younger than I was.

I had to explain it to him.

You want to write something we can pre produce, like a minute and a half ninety seconds.

Well, the first sportscast I did when it happened was one hundred and twenty seconds ninety seconds.

Sure, I did it.

I didn't think much of it.

It was there, told the story.

There was a little emotion to it, but it was mostly just the facts.

Five years later, I was one of the public address announcers at Old Timers Day at Yankee Stadium, invited there by the public relations director of the Yankees at the time, Rick Sarone, the same Rick Sarone who had in April nineteen seventy nine told me about Munson and the private planes.

The twenty fifth anniversary of Munson's death was days away and his widow, Diane was there.

We had never met.

She saw me on the field and raced up to me and embraced me.

That piece you did on him on the Game of the Week, when was it five years ago, twentieth anniversary?

That was the best memorial I've ever seen to Thurman.

Well, she teered up, and I teared up, and I was stunned.

I told her about what that night in nineteen seventy nine had been like for me.

I said, I knew it was almost insulting to tell her, but I thought it was important somehow, and she hugged me again.

It was deeply moving, and to this day it remains deeply moving.

The other PostScript I only learned of in twenty twenty one.

For it forever, the reporter covering the New York Rangers hockey team for the newspaper of the New York Post has been Larry Brooks.

I had forgotten that the year Thurman Munson was killed nineteen seventy nine, Larry was a very young beat reporter for the Post, covering not New York Rangers hockey but New York Yankees baseball.

And somebody sent me a clipping from the New York Post from Saturday, July twenty eighth, nineteen seventy nine, five days before the months in plane crash, and it is almost beyond belief.

Every time I see it, I read it again to make sure that last time I hadn't hallucinated it.

Larry's story began quote reports of Thurman Munson's death are exaggerated, at least slightly unquote.

Of course it was a meataw for of course he didn't mean to use that.

Munson's knees had been giving him trouble since the previous season, and the manager of the Yankees, Billy Martin, was giving him more time off between catching assignments than usual, and there was a lot of speculation as to whether or not Munson's career as a catcher was over, and then he might have to become a designated hitter or first baseman or something.

That's what the story was about.

That's what the death reference was, to the death of his catching career.

But the Larry Brooks story also included an even more jaw dropping quote.

Asked about the rumors he might not catch again this year, Munson said, I don't know who started them.

It was Martin.

Asked after the game, how his knees felt, Munson said, quote sore, real, real sore.

Hey Munson added, you might be seeing my last hurrah.

Larry Brooks told me that story haunted him every day since, and now it haunts me.

I've done all the damage I can do here.

Thank you for listening.

Most of our countdown music was arranged, produced, and performed by Brian Ray and John Phillip Chanel, our musical directors of Countdown.

Thank you Brian, Thank you, John Phillip Chanel.

It was produced by Tko Brothers.

Mister Ray on guitars, bass on drums, Mister Chanelle handled orchestration and keyboards.

Our satirical and pithy musical comments are buying the best baseball stadium organists ever.

Nancy Faust, Thank you Nancy.

The Alderman theme from ESPN two, written by Mitch Warren Davis, courtesy of ESPN, Inc.

Is the sports music Thank you ESPN.

Other music arranged and performed by the group No Horns Allowed, Thank you boys.

My announcer today is my friend John Dean.

Thank you John.

Everything else was, as always my fault.

So that's countdown for today.

Day two hundred and seven of America held hostage again, just fifty six days until the scheduled end of his lane duck and lame brained term unless he is removed sooner by MAGA and Jeffrey Epstein where the actuarial tables or poutin at the meeting in Alaska, Rusher, wherever it is.

I'm Keith Olberman.

Good morning, good afternoon, good night, and good luck.

Bully Puppet Countdown with Keith Olderman is a production of iHeartRadio.

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