Think about that woman in the office.

I just keep thinking about that woman.

Stop!

I just keep thinking about that woman in that office.

Making her weird ass, nasty ass egg.

No!

But the smell of a fresh cooked hot dog.

In the office?

In the office.

You can't beat that.

Can I just take this moment to publicly announce my fixation with Alligator Bites Never Heal.

It's so good.

No cheese new album.

Oh Look at me being ignorant Wow Wow Aaron is an alligator.

What's an alligator bite?

I Don't know.

I don't just genuinely asking that's the name of the album I'm sure it probably means something but I don't know what it means didn't she win best new artist.

Yes Congrats.

No, I think chapel one best new artist.

Oh, don't you in like best album best album?

something I don't remember.

I love that.

I like all the songs I've heard.

Yeah, they're really good.

They're just like so...

I don't know.

There's something about them that scratches my brain.

That's good.

You know?

I wonder what it is.

Also, I'm realizing that when we got here, I meant to cut the straw on this.

Can we just talk about how absurdly tall this straw is for this cup?

It is kind of absurdly tall.

I like that they put the measuring things on the side.

Actually, that's kind of nice, because in case you were going to make an actual...

Yeah, we got a coffee bar.

The QT's got coffee bars, so they have little...

They have like a...

It looks like a...

Slot machine.

Like a draft.

Yes.

A draft.

Not a slot machine.

No, it looks like a little beer tap.

But they're filled with coffee.

Instead.

Also, too, you've been doing really well.

Well, I cut this with water and milk.

I know.

Actually, I know.

If a coffee tastes good to me, then there's probably almost no coffee in it, actually.

This one, after you said the thing about it tasting like a protein shake now, I can't un...

It's just a peanut butter.

For whatever reason, I associate peanut butter with...

Well, me too.

And now when I think of peanut butter, I think of Mr.

Peanut Butter.

You still haven't finished.

We need to finish BoJack.

Well, we started watching.

Oh, yeah.

We're working on it.

We have a lot of TV.

We have a lot of TV.

We always constantly have so much TV to watch.

Yes.

But I am really enjoying that we have a running list now.

We don't run out of things.

You know what we've been doing?

Tell everyone.

I started a Discord server for just the two of us.

A couple's Discord server.

And we have different channels now for like date night ideas and like TVs and movies that we want to watch.

I started one that's like a mood board for like decorating the house and stuff.

Do we pay for Discord?

Mmm, we pay for nitro.

Okay, but we don't you could do that without nitro, right?

Yeah I just I used to think this quarter was so stupid.

Mm -hmm.

It's just because I grew up like we used to use this is crazy We used to use like ventrilo.

I don't know what that is.

Yeah, exactly.

It was a It was what's it called voice over a VoIP.

It was a VoIP voice over internet provider.

Oh, yeah Wow.

It literally was Discord.

Yeah.

It literally is Discord.

That's so funny.

But it was all voice.

I was going to say, was there text?

There was text channels too.

But you would have a server.

Someone would have to pay for a server.

Oh.

And then that's where we would hang out.

That's where all the shit talking was.

Yeah.

I mean, we pay for like the pumpkin patch Discord.

No, of course.

Discord server.

But yeah.

And I was like, oh, Discord is literally just Ventrilo.

That's really funny.

And it is.

But also so much.

I love the way we can organize everything.

Yeah.

It's better.

It is better.

I really like.

like it it's pretty you can make it pretty you can make it organized yeah like for everything now like i'll start a server i was looking at um like discord server templates and stuff like people are really out here doing the most to decorate their servers and stuff which i really appreciate honestly it does take a lot of time weird yeah no but as you know those are like edward it seems like well yeah just like things that we're not really into sure you know that's fair that's very fair yeah we're never gonna start a you know, like Blood and Guts themed Discord server.

That's not really our thing.

That was an interesting one.

Yeah.

And it didn't have zero downloads either.

Uh -huh, which is, yeah.

It's very interesting.

That's not my business.

Maybe it's a reference we don't get.

We are old.

Probably.

We are old.

Yeah, honestly.

I contend with that all the time now.

How old we are?

That like, we were talking about this when we went and got food from somewhere.

Like, I don't know, it was a fast food, like a drive -thru situation.

And I told Aaron, I'm continually being confronted with the reality that the people who are, you know, working there and giving us our food and whatever.

Those people are half our age and were born when we were in like middle school, early high school.

I feel like, I don't know.

Cause I feel really upsetting.

Cause I feel so old, but I feel so young at the same time too.

Cause I don't like.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Like I don't feel especially like when you look at like 30 year olds.

Yeah.

10, 20, 30 years ago.

Yes.

Like the 30 year olds that were in Cheers.

Those dudes got some miles on them.

Yeah.

Well, it's because everybody was smoking cigarettes.

Yeah.

And everybody was out in the sun all the time.

Remember we were talking about the cars too.

We were wearing like mineral oil to go sun tanning.

Yeah.

We were just cooking our shit.

Yeah.

We looked like pieces of bacon.

Well, yeah, and it's because you're not protecting your skin.

You're not protecting your health.

No self -care skincare routine.

No.

Can you imagine?

They don't have a skincare fridge.

I sometimes, like, I'm so sad I didn't get on Survivor.

I should call her back.

I'm so glad I didn't get on Survivor.

But at the same time, I'm like, what the fuck would I do without Chapstick?

Like, I can do so many things in life.

Like, I am, I can deal with a lot.

Especially, it's like the thing, too, like, if I'm already dirty, like, oh, I don't really give a shit.

Yeah.

I kind of revel in the.

Being like a little, I always picture like a little pig in slop.

A little nature boy.

But I need fucking chapstick.

Yeah.

I have, and I'm sure it's that thing.

And I'm sure they're doing, they're ruining my lips or whatever.

But I like, I'm not leaving, if I'm going out.

Because I stopped using chapstick because I have seborrheic dermatitis like around my chin and mouth and stuff.

And so oil makes it worse.

So if you can just avoid having oil anywhere near that, then I, you know, I do.

And honestly, my lips have not really been chapped or bothered.

They're dry to be fair, but it's mostly because I'm dehydrated all the time.

Oh, not my problem.

Yeah, I don't have like chapped lips.

They're just like dehydrated because I don't hydrate myself.

I know it's so weird, but I love, I've been on an asparagus kick lately and I don't.

Yes, you have.

What?

Nothing.

i like asparagus also too i'm like fucking killing it though because you can cook in the air fryer that new air fryer we got because i have one tray down with asparagus on the bottom yeah and i have my nice marinated chicken on the tray above it yeah and all the chicken juices get on the asparagus and it just like that's good cooking that's that's good cooking it does taste good i won't lie i i can make some fucking asparagus you're good at cooking No one is denying that.

No, I'm good at cooking.

You're right.

Thank you so much for that.

You're good at cooking.

Also, it's not an air fryer.

Like it kind of is an air fryer.

It's a tiny convection oven.

That gets hot really fast.

Yeah.

And I have burnt myself on it more times.

It's just because I.

It's like a fancy tiny convection oven.

And you know what's the thing?

It's funny because it's not loud.

And so I think I'm like, oh, it's not.

I don't take it seriously.

You know, like I'm like, oh, how hot could it really be in there?

It's not like.

You know, it's hot.

That thing gets hot fast.

It's nice, though.

Speaking of kitchen appliances, do you want to get into today's podcast episode?

It's about kitchen appliances?

It is, actually.

Okay.

Aaron didn't tell me.

Okay, so I gave you guys my soup presentation.

And I said, if Mickey can do presentations, I can do presentations.

I actually wasn't going to do a presentation at all, but it turned out to be the easiest way to present the information I want to present.

And then it turned into something else.

Yeah, you were telling me that this morning while we were getting ready.

Yeah, I don't know why.

A presentation doesn't inherently have to be persuasive.

Yeah, but it feels like it should because I had a similar situation.

Yeah.

Like a similar feeling with the soup one.

Yeah.

It started as sort of like a meme and then over time it was like I was interrogating you as a lawyer in court.

I didn't feel like I was getting interrogated.

I felt like I was getting yelled at.

Those are two different things.

I felt like you weren't trying to pull information from me.

You were trying to jam with a plunger as much soup information as you could.

Yeah, I was plunging soup information into your brain.

Is that going to be this?

Or is this going to be that?

I don't know.

You want to find out?

Okay.

Are you ready?

Yes.

Can I look now?

Yeah, you can look now.

Okay, 10 fuck -ass kitchen gadgets that I actually love.

Can you turn it towards me a little bit?

I would have loved to read the title myself since I made it, but that's perfectly fine.

Okay.

You stole my thunder.

Oh, sorry.

But that's okay.

So this is my presentation.

I was just looking up more fun, silly, goofy things.

We love cooking.

We love kitchen things.

Yes.

We love gadgets.

Yes.

We love kitchen gadgets.

You are a gadget boy.

I am.

I am.

You're an appliance gorilla.

I think it's...

No surprise then when I was doing research for this that all of the lists were like, why do these things exist?

And actually, I also too, you know what's so crazy to me is I, not to get soapboxy, but a lot of this stuff, I'm like immediately, I'm like, oh, this is an accessibility thing.

You know, I was like, oh, of course, some normie person with all their limbs and arms and like motor skills.

All their spoons, yeah.

Yeah, all their spoons can do all of these things.

And so like, You know, some of this stuff actually is really helpful for people with, you know, or like different neurodivergences or whatever.

So this is why these are these are 10 fuck ass kitchen gadgets that I actually love.

You don't actually need any of these things per se.

yeah but if they increase your quality of i'm a quality of life guy yes you know also there was somebody who made a comment i think it was on tiktok that like if there is a gadget or a tool that you're like why does that exist it's probably not for you it's probably not for you and you should just let the people who like who it is for yeah enjoy it and i feel like speaking of that kind of like that yeah these are the things like i would actually enjoy or like things i'm not saying things that we need sure because we don't have a lot of space because we have we're you know up to our using gadgets yeah but Um, ultimately this came from a place of if you could do a PowerPoint, I can make PowerPoints too.

Are you ready?

I'm excited.

Um, real quick before, um, can you close your eyes real quick?

All right, everyone.

Are we ready?

Can I open my eyes?

Yeah.

Yeah.

I forgot to tell you.

Sorry.

All right, let's get started.

These are 10 fuck ass kitchen gadgets that I actually love.

Okay.

Number 10.

The delay is crazy.

Avocado slicers.

Okay.

Okay, right?

Okay, so seriously, what do you always get nervous about when I use it in the kitchen?

That you're going to chop your hand open with a big old chef's knife.

Generally, I do a good job cooking and cutting things.

Kitchen safety.

Kitchen safety is a bit on the back burner.

Yeah.

Not exactly my.

Not your thing.

How do I take the avocado?

In case you didn't know.

There's a way you're not supposed to do it.

When you open an avocado, obviously there's a big pit.

So you're supposed to set it on the counter.

I set it on the counter.

And you're supposed to use like a small knife to cut around the pit, open it, and then set the avocado on the ground.

And if you really want to pull it out with a knife, then you put, or not the ground, put the avocado on the counter, give it a whack, pull the thing out.

Or you can just press it from the backside with your little thumbs.

When I learned about the pressing technique, that shit changed my life.

It just pops it out.

Or use a spoon.

There's a lot of unsafe things going on with knives and avocados.

I think, too, there's nothing more in my mind, like visually appealing, than nice, evenly cut avocado slices.

Yes.

And I think, too, if people, let's be real here, guys, too.

You're not going to be able to afford to buy a house anyways.

Like, let's just get that thought out of your mind anyways.

So you might as well just enjoy that.

goddamn fucking avocado toast look how good that avocado toast looks look at that and you can also is that a hot dog that's a hot dog okay look how nice those slices are that hot dog sure it looks kind of a messy mess but like look at the avocado toast there's bacon down the length of that that hot that's a good hot dog is that mayonnaise on it that's every that's almost it's sold yeah that's what i'm saying i love mayonnaise on a hot dog so Picture the avocado.

Look at that.

Nice, beautiful.

That's a good avocado right there.

Yeah, that's a good avocado.

Also, too, if you ever do not waste avocado, people, avocado farmers get taken by the cartel.

Like avocado farming.

I'm dead serious.

Avocado.

Avocado.

I'm saying it so many times.

It's not a real word.

Avocado farming is like actually for real, like a giant money.

Oh, my God.

No.

That's so scary.

So seriously, don't waste.

I'm like, maybe we shouldn't be supporting avocado, big avocado then.

But all I'm saying is I've heard that somewhere.

It could be true.

It might not be true.

Oh, okay.

But all I'm saying is.

Fact check us in the comments.

Avocado farming.

Avocado farmers.

Big deal.

Big deal.

Big money.

So don't waste the fruits of their labor is what you're saying.

Yes, don't waste.

Well, is it a vegetable?

It's a fruit.

It's a fruit.

It's a fruit.

Okay, excellent.

I learned that from smarty pants.

Smart people.

Smart people.

I also love the different slices you have because you can do the big cut, the big slice, you know.

Yeah.

Around the thing.

I should have probably had some more.

You get it, though.

You can use theater of imagination.

Use your mind.

But yeah.

Oh, that hot dog, though.

If that avocado was mashed on there, would that be as appealing to you?

No.

Exactly.

Correct.

No.

Thank you.

Okay.

All right.

Now that we're all on the same page.

Number nine.

Okay.

Are you ready?

Yeah.

I forgot what number nine is already.

Oh, a banana slicer.

Yeah.

Look.

Look.

Okay.

So look.

This is some fuck ass shit.

I had two pictures of these.

I actually.

So I think this is very interesting.

Excuse my cut job on the fingers.

Sure.

They got cut off in the thing.

Don't look too close to the edit.

But the banana slicer.

Parents.

Parents, parents, parents.

A banana is an easy treat, right?

Yeah.

But in the earlier and older stages in life, as we learn, eating becomes more of a laborious process, correct?

That's valid.

A banana slicer takes care of that.

Now, one thing I will say about this banana slicer, though, cleaning this bitch looks like a fucking nightmare.

I'm not going to lie to you.

The metal one, bad.

That's all bad, right?

Yeah.

But also, I'm thinking to myself, right, that metal slicer, that has potential.

For what?

Think about it.

Cutting wieners?

Look at this tray of nicely, evenly cut, aesthetically cut pieces of vegetables.

And actually, if we look closely there, what is that?

What the fuck is that?

Is that a hot dog?

I don't know.

Is that a hot dog?

And also, hmm, something else you may have thought about.

Sushi.

Stop.

That's sushi.

You can't fit sushi in that, bitch.

They did.

Clearly they did.

The world's smallest sushi roll, maybe.

So I think the first banana slicer is like for the kids.

That's something fun the whole family can enjoy, right?

Okay.

That's nice.

You know, you got a nice little tray for kids for snacks after school.

That second one, though, that's utility.

That's fucking utility.

You know what else you can do with that shit?

Hot dogs.

Yeah, think about it.

That's so smart.

You ever have some chili and you wish you, like, think.

So normally when I eat a banana, sometimes when I would want to put the pieces into my yogurt, we recently, I was remembered about my yogurt fixation, right?

Yeah.

And so I was just entirely too lazy to cut, you know, you open up the banana, you peel the banana.

That's already like two steps.

And you have to cut the little slices of the banana and you have to put them in the yogurt, right?

Too many steps.

So what I would do is I would.

You do that with carrots, too, and it drives me nuts.

Yeah, why?

I literally have, literally Mother Nature has spent hundreds of thousands, millions, a millennia fucking figuring this shit out.

Why would I not use the tools?

That I have on hand, in my mouth, on mouth.

Well, then you're negating your argument for kitchen gadgets.

No, I am just, but I'm saying, me doing that, is that a socially acceptable thing to do?

No.

Now, if I pull this bad boy out now, I also, now that I'm thinking about it, worth, as a worthy mention, is the, I wish I'd thought about this, the orange slicer that I had.

Oh, okay.

Yeah, because you can peel and then you can get under the skin.

I do love that thing as a neurodivergent person.

I hate eating like orange pith on my hands.

Oh my God, thank you.

And the juice.

Yes, the juice.

Yeah, but I do love a good, well, I can't eat oranges anymore, but like I love a good tangerine.

Sure, yes.

You like stuff that eliminates, this PowerPoint is like the neurodivergence safe zone.

Like all of these things are things we can do to help minimize the amount of.

Yeah.

That we get on our fingers.

Okay.

Because, see, look at this.

Now, granted, I don't know if I'm – I'll probably hold the hot dog with a fork.

Yeah.

But look at that.

But also – Also, that wiener needs some attention, right?

It does.

That wiener is having a hard time.

Yeah.

It's not going anywhere until you're done with your thought.

It's so ugly.

Not a good wiener.

What I was going to say, too, is with bananas, you know how when you cut them with a knife, they, like, stick to the knife and then you have to, like, scoop them off?

Oh, it's horrible.

And I feel like that's also a risk.

Like, it makes me really nervous when you do that because it's, like – You could potentially cut your finger if you're, like, doing that too fast.

I have cut my finger open pretty good.

I almost fainted.

It was a very mild cut, but I don't know.

I'm not a blood boy.

We went to urgent care, and they were like, you just need some glue.

It's fine.

I was a child.

I was a child.

Yeah, we were young.

We were young.

And it helped get me out of an argument.

So, really?

Manipulative.

Manipulative.

Okay.

Please make this wiener go away.

Yes.

Okay.

I don't want to look at it anymore.

It's in the eye.

Number eight.

You're talking about juices on your finger, right?

Uh -huh.

Oh, my God.

Do I have a product for you?

The Pickle Picker.

Oh.

So when I saw this, it's crazy because this isn't really just the most, like this type of tool, a little extendo.

There's like mechanic ones for these and stuff.

Sure.

But guess what we're not getting on our fingers?

Yeah, juice.

Can you imagine?

Look at that.

But also, think how many other things this can apply to.

Because I was thinking, like, when you're snacking and stuff, too.

Yeah.

What do I normally give you when we snack?

Toothpicks.

Why do I do that?

Why do I give you toothpicks?

Because you and I both hate having stuff on our fingies.

And if you're at the keyboard, you're working.

Yeah.

Think how convenient.

You have to explain to them what the snack plates are, though.

Oh, yes, of course.

Well, basically, you just take all regular -sized snacks and you just fucking break them up into little bite -sized pieces.

Like what?

What goes on the plates?

Oh, cheese.

Mm -hmm.

Fruits and – sorry.

Nuts are kind of a hard thing because you can't really – Yeah.

Those I end up just like scooting into my mouth.

Sure.

Totally.

But cheese.

Yeah.

Soft vegetables.

Yeah.

Soft fruits.

Yes.

You've also put granola bars on them.

Yeah.

You cut them into slices.

You cut the granola bars.

Yes.

Very sweet.

And then you can use the toothpick.

You can absolutely stab granola.

But think of this.

You could literally pick up all of those things on that tray with this pickle picker.

You could pick up nuts with that actually.

You could pick up nuts with that.

That's a good call.

Further demonstration, obviously pickle.

So if you can imagine, think about sitting at your desk, having a pickle picker and being able to enjoy whatever snack you wanted and continuing to do your work at the same time.

Question.

Yeah.

What about those jars that are like pickle jars that you just like flip so that all the juice drains out?

I've never seen those before in my life.

Really?

And the juice stays at the bottom.

Yeah.

So when it's one way, all the pickles are in the juice.

But then when you want a pickle.

You flip it, and all the juice drains away from the pickles, so you could just grab one.

Literally, gravity is amazing.

Okay, but that still gives me the ick, though, because it still has, like, the juice on it.

Okay, no, you're right.

Granted, I don't think you would be able to pick up, like, those larger, like, those pickle, like, the Hot Cheeto girls really love the big, thick pickles that we used to get.

Okay, I did, too, yeah.

Yeah, I know.

I never really partook in those.

Were they good?

You hated them, but I loved them.

I did not like pickles then at that time.

I would eat a whole big, giant dill pickle spear from the...

Snack bar in high school.

They always looked good.

They were also like $1 .50, so.

I bet those bitches are expensive now.

Great economical solution.

I wonder how Hot Cheeto Girls are doing today in 2025.

I think they're still wearing Cookie Monster pants.

I hope so.

I hope so, too, honestly.

With the print on the.

Good for them, yeah.

Good for.

We were just talking about that today, actually.

Also, though, keep in note, what shape is that?

What shape is that pickle?

Oh, well, it's like a cylinder.

It is.

What else is a cylinder shape?

Cheese.

Nope.

Okay.

I'll go fuck myself.

Sometimes it has a hard time.

All right.

Well, now that's tilted some of the gas out of my tank.

Are you ready to continue?

Okay.

I think cylinders.

We established.

Yes.

It's a cylinder shape.

Thank you.

Oh.

Hot dog.

Hot dogs.

Do we think you could hold that as like a weenie roast stick?

Hmm.

I know they sell weenie roast sticks.

Yeah.

But.

I don't know.

I would be nervous about the heat capacity because it's a cold.

Yeah.

It's a cold.

Okay, so explain to me, like, in what context are we using the weenie grabber?

Oh, for any.

Just to eat wieners.

The weenie claw.

Just so you're not having to touch them.

I was thinking, like, transferring from the grill.

Maybe not necessarily cooking, but a good way to transfer with a lot more finesse.

That's okay.

A lot more finesse, a lot more care.

Okay, and also it doesn't have grossy grease on it.

I also think, too, from a food standpoint, like, not everyone always wants to eat bread, you know?

So what a great way to enjoy consuming your hot dog with no bread.

It's a vegan option.

Can you imagine coming to the cookout and just holding the weenie grasper?

In the same way you can decorate a hydro flask.

Like bedazzle that bitch?

Yeah, I feel like you could.

Especially on the base part.

It does have a base.

So it's not going anywhere.

I feel like this would be a pretty nimble thing.

Especially to like...

I feel like this is something kids could really enjoy.

I think it's what I'm getting at.

I feel like this could be a fun way to encourage...

Honestly, as a little autistic child, if somebody had given me the opportunity to hold some of my snacks without getting stuff on my fingers, I probably would have eaten a lot more.

I think people, too, are really failing to...

We just need a big picture, guys.

Let's big picture this real quick.

How many times do I wash my hands while I'm cooking?

Because I'm touching things.

A lot.

Yeah, you and I both do the...

Think how much water we could be saving if we're using pickle pickers to pick up everything.

Pickle pickers to pick up everything.

Because then no longer am I, I must use so much water.

Gallons.

Not actually gallons, but for the sake of the presentation, gallons.

Sure.

Of water.

Yeah.

Gone.

Yeah, but not with a.

Not with this.

Weenie pickle picker picker.

Number seven.

Okay.

You ready?

Yeah.

Stop.

This is some fuck ass shit.

This is some fuck ass shit.

Are they?

Are they?

Onion goggles?

Did I fucking stutter?

I haven't even said it yet, but have I stuttered?

No.

Honestly, no.

These are not some fuck -ass shit.

Let me tell you this right now.

Look at this woman.

Look how close she is.

Look at the proximity she is to the goggles.

Or the goggles.

The goggles.

Very close.

But look how close she is to the onions.

And she's smiling.

Wouldn't it be crazy if I thought?

Why is she holding it like that?

But also, because look how close she is.

She said, I've never seen onions this close up before because my eyes are normally closed.

But now they are open.

She looks like a titan.

She does um but also her cutting tech.

What is she doing with that knife?

I've never seen someone hold a knife like that.

Honestly quite frankly I kind of wish in this picture alone I kind of wish she didn't have the goggles because maybe she she doesn't need to be cutting anything She doesn't actually might not need to be in the kitchen, but what an opportunity for her man to step in is having a horrible, miserable time.

Yeah.

Think about maybe his wife.

He was sad.

Maybe he's trying to help at Thanksgiving dinner.

Yeah.

That's a very gendered way of presenting.

Hold on, sir.

Oh, hold on.

Okay.

Let me stop.

But this man is not going to be able to accomplish his task.

And in fact, he's hurting himself.

He's literally causing himself pain.

And you know what?

I think that's something like toxic male masculinity is putting yourself through something, putting yourself in pain to try and help others when you don't have to.

And you know what that makes you?

What the fuck?

A bitch.

dude fuck you canva seriously fuck you for ruining my comedic timing but that makes you a bitch he's doing something that's hurting himself for no reason and there's literally something it's like men who punch holes in drywall just go to therapy yeah it's like men who don't wear lotion and their skin cracks so knuckles bleed just wear lotion onion goggles are the therapy and lotion of the kitchen yes Yes, you're hurting yourself by doing something.

And you know what the thing is?

Look at all these vegetables he has to cut.

He's continuing to go back and he's just doing damage.

Also, he's not showing up for his partner by now, right now.

But with onion goggles, look at him now.

Happy, look at these men.

Now they can be the partners these women deserve.

Hold on.

All of these people, are these all stock images of these people wearing the goggles?

Or did you edit the goggles onto them?

Well, that's what you might be asking.

Now look, this man now has goggles.

And look how much happier he looks.

If I may, if can, it will work.

It doesn't matter.

Good night.

Bitch.

Yeah?

Not a bitch.

Not a bitch.

Look at these men.

Bitch.

Yeah.

I love that you had to type bitch and not a bitch.

Like 85 times.

You're going to have to take your sock off so you can do it with your foot.

Oh, nice.

There you go.

Fuck you, phone.

Okay.

I'm not using my feet.

Not a bitch.

These men can now be in the kitchen and be equal partners.

So really this is like an act of feminism is what you're saying.

Also, too, I will say if I can go back to this man real quick.

Okay.

This man right here in the middle, I thought maybe spouse.

but i'm thinking spouse i think this man might be gay okay i love his posture i love he looks entirely that man doesn't he's one of us he looks like he's one he looks like someone who's in a relationship he's actually happy with that's fair look at that that is such a burn on straight people especially too after i will say like these guys don't have the same enthusiasm as he does like this man is my little yeah and now that he's got his onion goggles And with that, I say I take you to number five.

I don't care.

I'll do the rest of the podcast like this because it's going to be up here.

It's fine.

Fair enough.

Okay.

I don't remember what number five was, but oh, the corn kerneler.

The corn kerneler.

The corn kerneler.

Corn kerneler.

The corn kerneler.

Okay.

So at first I saw this and I was like, this is dumb because this picture right here, those kernels are not kerneled.

No.

You know what I'm saying?

Yeah.

But this cob over here.

That's a good cob.

Think how much time.

And also, too, I think this would be really just better spent if I let the experts do the talking.

Basically, all you have to do is shuck your corn.

And it's just gone.

And the corn is gone.

I hate it here.

It was corn.

Why did you do that to me?

That was corn.

That was already corn.

While the corn was getting corn.

I thought for a second that this was one of those videos where some man is in the background being like, yeah, touch it with your hands.

No.

Like the Facebook ones.

No.

This is, I believe this is Britt in the kitchen.

Oh, God.

Thank you, Britt in the kitchen.

We're so sorry, Britt in the kitchen.

No, honestly, she did a really good job demonstrating.

And also, especially when it's sweet corn season.

Like, it was a good video.

I don't disagree.

We do cut the corn off of the cob with a knife.

And again, what do you have?

What makes you nervous when I use it in the kitchen?

Knives.

What does this do?

Eliminates the use for knives.

Okay.

This is a safety.

These are safety things.

These gadgets.

Do you think it's so safe that you would give it to a child?

Yeah, definitely.

I would be like, simply don't put your limbs in there.

But otherwise.

Okay, so you could use it then.

That's what I'm saying.

Think how much safer I would be.

Look at hands.

Safe away from the blades.

The only part that would be weird.

I don't know how you'd get that last little bit of kernel in there.

You'd have to grab it from the other side, I guess.

And then...

Yeah?

Yeah, because I'm trying to think.

If you're putting the corn in there, and then...

You're doing this on purpose.

No, I'm not.

Surely.

Moving on.

Okay, number four.

If you have any questions, I don't care.

Oh, my God!

Oh, this one is next level.

This one...

Okay, now, this one took some warming up to, I think.

But this is actually something...

I don't want to say it's revolutionary, per se.

An electric fork?

This is the part where I really was like, who...

Who needs this?

People.

Old people.

They are so bad at fine motor skills.

Or anybody with mobility issues in their hands.

Truly.

Generally.

Genuinely.

Generally.

Genuinely.

Generally.

Genuinely.

This puts the motor back in skills.

Hold on.

I love that this removed.

Don't touch the screen.

Canva removed that.

And so it just looks like you're holding a giant crayon.

You did catch that with the floating noodles.

But also with floating noodles at the end of it.

That's not a good set of noodles.

I would not particularly enjoy those noodles.

But the thing that was cool about this, like this is literally so easy kids could use it.

Like if kids can use this, I can use this.

And you can use it.

Yes.

Activate the machine.

So easy kids can use it.

Not in your mouth.

Well, I would have stopped it first, but.

Oh wow it worked!

See?

How do you turn it off?

It has to be quick because once you put it on and you scoop out the noodles sometimes they fall off because it's twisting and it'll drop off the noodles so you have to put it on and turn it off.

That's why it's located here, the button, because you can slide it up and down.

Please watch.

He's never held an electric fork before as you can see.

This is you.

That child is you.

Look at that fork of spaghetti.

Now, I wanted to use this to demonstrate a few things.

One, kids, not the best fine motor skills.

But I think, look, they were still able to somehow manage.

Now, I will say, let's zoom in on this if we can.

Enhance.

I'm not entirely sure.

I feel like the idea is there.

I feel like some...

But now I'm talking myself out of it.

Because if you need fine motor skills to use.

I think someone with some more.

Maybe like muscle fatigue.

Or anybody who has like a difficulty with like the rotating motion.

Like maybe if you have rheumatoid arthritis.

I think I just wanted to really point out too that this kid was dogging on this other kid.

Yeah.

On how to use it.

And then made a scoop that looked like that.

That looked like doo doo.

Yeah.

That is probably the least aesthetic scoop I've ever seen.

But also that's just going to like down the front of you.

You're not getting that in your mouth.

No.

Not easily.

I think because adults understand cause and effect and consequences.

Yeah.

Obviously you would want to turn the fork off before you were.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Because that one child put it in their mouth with the fork turning.

I will say for me personally.

And the clacking noise of teeth on metal.

Oh my God.

Made me want to die.

Personally.

I don't necessarily love this one because I don't need it to eat a hot dog.

Oh, okay.

Yeah, it's not a hot dog gadget.

Yeah, this is not a hot dog gadget.

Sorry.

Hold on.

What?

Have all of these gadgets just been a way for you to eat hot dogs?

What do onion goggles have to do with hot dogs?

Or the corn thing.

You can't use the corn thing for hot dogs.

I tried really hard to get a picture.

Because I thought if you put a bunch of hot dogs through the corn kerneler, then you could spiralize them all at once.

But I think it would just turn into, like, how you say mush.

Please make it stop.

So that one didn't feel very good.

But this one was just truly a silly -bo -billy gadget.

I bet if you lined up a bunch of hot dogs one right after the other, and then you stamped the corn kerneler on it, you could make, like, circle hot dogs.

So like pepperonis?

Is that what pepperonis are?

No, I guess just...

What's in pepperoni?

Meat.

Pig.

Is it pork?

What is it in pepperoni?

What's in hot dogs?

Well, hot dogs is everything.

It's beef.

Well, beef hot dogs.

Yeah, all beef hot dogs are just like beef discards, right?

What's in a pepperoni?

It's cured meat.

It's cured meat that's sliced.

Meat from where?

An animal.

It's not chicken.

It's gotta be pork.

Beef?

I don't know.

What's in a pepperoni?

Sorry I distracted you.

I don't know.

What's in a pepperoni?

Well, now I want to answer what's in a pepperoni.

Do you want me to Google it?

No, I don't care.

Okay.

Please continue.

Okay.

Number three.

Uh -huh.

This one.

Stop.

Stop.

This one I thought for you.

Also, again.

No.

Why would I need to put a hot dog in there?

I guess a hot dog in the bun, but why would I need to do that?

Okay.

Please continue.

Of course.

A motorized ice cream cone?

Yes.

And actually, the specs on this are so impressive, I had to write them down.

This is a push -button piece of equipment.

This thing spins 25 to 30 RPMs.

That's a lot.

To put into perspective, a car, the dash thing starts at 1 ,000.

So if you can imagine 1 ,000.

That thing's whipping.

That thing is like 5%.

yeah of what your car does when it idles that's a lot of spinning so 30 rpms means that it's rotations per minute so that means half a rotation in a minute in a minute so yeah so roughly so if you can imagine by the time if you started looking right here no two rotations a minute yes yeah so it that's whipping so if you're just sitting here Please never make that face again.

Someone's going to edit that.

Someone's going to screenshot that.

No, it's for ice cream.

Also, eight ounces of ice cream, a perfect portion.

That is a perfect portion of ice cream, in my opinion, because you get to have all the flavors.

Also, I'm not really sure how you're going to eat the bottom of it.

Not a problem for us, honestly, though.

Yeah, that's fair.

Again, to clarify, 360 degree rotating dish.

That's pretty impressive.

There's not a single inch of ice cream that you're going to be missing.

And it's dishwasher safe, even though it's...

Dishwasher safe.

And it has a built -in drip basin.

That's nice.

Basin.

Basin.

Basin.

Basin.

Basin.

Drip built -in basin.

You almost said it wrapping just then.

Yeah, I was about to drop.

Drip drop.

Drip drop.

Sorry, that was not worthy.

Anyways, yeah, but the built -in drip basin I think is the part that really sold me.

But how do you get the stuff out of the drip basin?

You just shake it in your mouth?

That's not my problem.

That's not my problem.

That's the dishwasher's problem.

Okay.

I'm not cleaning up.

Well, I want the melted ice cream.

I like melted ice cream.

Okay, then put your ice cream in a bowl like a Neanderthal.

I don't know what to tell you.

Okay.

Gosh.

Motorized ice cream cone.

July is National Ice Cream Month.

This is $9 .99.

Available at barrenbob .com.

Takes two AA batteries.

Not included, of course.

Removal of the dish.

There's a removal.

Look at it.

There's a removal of the dish.

You know what it is?

It's for really lazy people.

I don't agree with that.

You don't even have to work it.

It works it for you.

But I thought it was supposed to keep it from dripping, but we let it stand there too long.

It was out here for 10 minutes.

Ignore that part.

We're not worried about that part.

But the drip basin, this is user.

These are people not respecting these products.

Yeah.

I don't believe these products or this product is specifically to is for lazy people.

I think it's for actually smart people.

People who don't want to drip.

People who don't want fucking ice cream.

Think about enjoying your ice cream during the summer.

Think how fast you have to eat that.

Think about how fast you could eat your ice cream with 25 to 30 RPMs a minute rotating in your mouth.

I mean, okay.

I do think it's actually kind of a good accessibility aid.

It is.

I will say the drip basin, that's a bunch of bullshit.

Also, no, the drip basin is good.

I think the drip basin is a bunch of bullshit.

I don't think we should, I don't think we, for the price, these are $5 a pot.

Well, with inflation, who knows?

They were $5?

For a pack of two?

Oh, okay.

Honestly, I would buy those.

$5 for a pack of two, that's worth it.

Think of what other things you could put in there too.

I don't know, but I feel like Greek yogurt maybe?

Ooh.

No.

I was going to say peanut butter, but that's a whole fuckload of peanut butter.

This really is just a single product.

I will say at least the other products mostly that I've brought up today.

The accessibility and the versatility, I think, are two things.

Pickle picker, all kinds of things.

Anything you can pick up, really.

The onion goggles, anything that bothers your eyes.

Like, think around someone who farts a lot, too.

Onion goggles.

No pink eye.

Stop.

What other products did I even list today?

Stop.

Oh, the avocado slicer.

That's so foul.

I thought you could cut all kinds of different things with the avocado slicer.

What was the second thing?

The banana slicer.

The banana slicer.

That's versatility.

You could use a lot of these for cheese.

A lot of these could be for cheese.

Yeah.

Number two.

That's my favorite food, really.

Sometimes I get here and I'm like, what was number two?

Ah, yes.

I do remember number two.

Are you ready?

Yeah.

I think it's just best, again, if we let number two sell itself.

Okay.

Making eggs makes a mess.

That's the knee!

They stick to the pan.

They flop when you flip.

And the yolks always drip.

And after you cook them up, there's all that cleanup.

Cook them up.

What you need is the Rolly Egg Master.

Have you seen this?

The fast, easy, pan -free way to make perfect eggs every time.

Just crack, pour, and Rolly Egg Master pops up delicious eggs in minutes.

Ew!

Look at this woman in the office.

No!

Plus, cleanup is a breeze.

She's the stinky co -worker.

Stop making all this mess and let Rolly make perfect eggs.

Perfect eggs.

That's disgusting.

That man looks like he's going to go teach a baseball team or something.

That is a neurodivergent hate crime.

It's not actually.

It's the Rolly Eggmaster.

It's not the Rolly Eggmaster neurodivergent hate crime.

This actually thing, it kind of makes sense.

I kind of get it.

I'm going to be honest.

And also too, did you notice, did you notice she put those eggs, one of those eggs in a what?

What shape is this?

It's a cylinder.

Oh, it's a cylinder.

So what do you think if we had something?

So now this is a cylinder with no spine.

This cylinder has no spine.

This thing has no support.

I would like to apologize to all of you.

Oh, my God.

No.

That's not it.

That's not aesthetic.

But think, if we had a thin layer wrapped around it to help give it some support, what do you think we could cook in this thing?

And I thought to myself, I know exactly what we could cook in this thing.

A fucking hot dog.

A fucking hot dog.

Look, stick.

Look, think about it.

Just think about it.

Think about it.

I don't know how I would push the hot dog out.

I'm not really worried about that part.

It's giving a red rocket, but with think about that woman in the office I just keep thinking about that well I just keep thinking about that woman in that office making her weird ass nasty ass egg No smell of a fresh cooked hot dog in the office in the office.

You can't beat that also to Like the chain ability to of it because you could have one you get your first one cooked new one in there, and you can start eating the one you just cooked.

No.

And that same stick, again, this is a...

Think of how many different things you have to use to cook an egg.

Spatula.

Pan.

Now what do you gotta do?

You gotta clean that.

Spatula.

Pan.

You gotta clean that with water.

Now we're using water.

This thing uses no water, so now we're also saving water, and we're minimizing the amount of things.

By buying something we don't need, we're actually minimizing the amount of other things we do need.

Uh -huh.

And this thing is versatile.

You can put eggs in here.

Hot dogs.

Eggs and hot dogs.

And then...

Eggs and hot dogs.

Eggs and hot dogs.

Ew.

But really, I think this is just a good...

Another way, like, there's so many different ways to prepare hot dogs, I think.

That's what I'm learning.

Yes.

Yes.

Excellent.

Yes.

And also, too, that's what I want us to keep in mind is how many different ways there are to prepare hot dogs and well.

And I think the other thing, too, you have to grapple with...

Now, the big...

Negative to this man.

Yeah.

This thing can only fit one hot dog at a time.

Yeah.

Inefficient, not going to cut it, right?

Oh, no.

Number one.

No.

No, no, no.

The hot dog toaster.

I knew it.

The hot dog toaster.

Oh, no.

This is a retro version, too, because back then they were eating food like we were eating it nowadays.

This thing can only fit two dogs, two buns.

That's a meal for one person.

So, like, what?

Am I going to sit there and eat my two hot dogs while you sit there and wait for your two hot dogs?

So we either need two or we need another system, right?

Yeah.

So some drawbacks about this, though.

Look at this chart of hot dogs.

Uh -huh.

Okay.

So we have, I can't read this because I have.

Boil and beer.

Stove top sear.

Not too bad.

Sear, boil.

That's a sad hot dog.

Yeah.

Boil and beer.

I don't even know.

What's the difference?

Do we even need, is that even an option?

Grill.

Okay.

That looks good, right?

Yeah.

Oven roast.

That's pretty good.

That's a good sausage.

Okay.

Roast over open.

Of course, you know.

Yeah.

Slow cook.

Not for me.

No.

Microwave.

Microwave.

Microwave.

Cool, right?

That's not appetizing.

Stop.

What?

That's disgusting.

No, it's literally not.

It's hot dogs.

In hot dog water.

Yes, and it's not very appetizing, right?

That's not the premier premium way to cook hot dogs, I would say, correct?

Now that.

Look at those links.

Those are hot dogs.

Those are hot dogs cooked on the grill.

What is this?

Those are hot dogs cooked on the grill.

What do you mean, what is this?

We are establishing a baseline, right?

Why are you giving me F -shaped hot dogs?

So if we have decided, I think it's easy to say, and I don't really care about your guys' opinion, because quite frankly, we all know a grilled dog is the best way to consume a hot dog, right?

There's no question about that.

The crisp, the sear, the smell, the juices when they start sweating, literally perfect.

There's nothing better than that.

Needless to say, hot dogs and water.

You spend a lot of time thinking about hot dogs.

No.

Yeah, maybe.

Needless to say, hot dogs, D tier.

Not good.

Okay.

That's like...

god that's like if we don't have any other fucking choice and you really want a dog right yeah that's the thing where i think that like the rolly comes into uh -huh i would really be interested to see what a hot dog looks like out of the rolly egg master it really should be called the rolly hot dog master but that's my own personal preference i think obviously the rolly dog master where does that put our hot dog toaster right and actually if you look at where i put my question mark yeah Right in the middle.

Right in the middle.

Right in the middle.

So that way you can enjoy.

So we're getting more than one hot dog, right?

We're not getting grilled per se because obviously a grill can hold a lot of dogs.

Yeah.

But these, if we get one of these new and improved versions, I hope I put a picture of it.

And I didn't.

But anyways, look at all these different types of hot dogs you can make.

And they would utilize the other things we just talked about.

Pickles.

Look at that bacon.

See those pickles right there?

Pickle pickler.

I could have placed all of those over my pickle picklers.

This is like relish or something.

There's sauces or cheese.

Oh, hold on.

Okay.

What is that?

What is that?

Is that avocado?

Is that?

Motherfucker, that is avocado.

We could also use our avocado slicer from earlier to also make hot dogs with avocado.

This has been the lead up this whole time.

Yes.

Okay.

The avocado slicer.

Yeah.

These tools are, like, if you have an open mind, if you have a neurotypical mind, these are all single -use tools, you think, right?

Yeah.

Not to someone like me.

Yeah.

Not to someone who wants to enjoy a hot dog.

I could use any of these things to make a hot dog.

I'm confident of it.

All of these tools could be used to make a better hot dog.

And I think, if I may wrap this up.

And I think I speak for all of us when I say people may think we're weird on our own.

We have different neurodivergences, different tics, different tisms, different things that prevent us from maybe doing things the way you think we should do them.

And I think that's the thing, right?

That's the thing we say on this channel all the time.

Just because I'm doing it a way that's different doesn't make it wrong.

And I think when we work together and we put all these pieces together in our weird fucked up little puzzle pieces and they don't necessarily fit together but we really jam them in there really good, we can make hot dogs taste really good.

And after you...

I hate it here.

And this has been a...

There's a lot to unpack here.

Presentation.

Eating hot dogs.

Really good.

Really good.

You're so cute.

Do you have any questions?

How could you?

Because I pretty much covered anything and everything.

Yeah.

I feel like I've been...

Everything, everywhere, all at once.

Plungered.

I've been plungered.

No, you've been dogged.

If we're being quite frank.

If we're being quite frank.

No.

No.

Pumpkin, honestly, I have to say, like, truly kudos.

I feel like it would have worked a little better if I could have used my phone.

Yeah, that's fair.

That's not my fault.

I cannot believe how those videos rendered on my computer.

Obviously, they were fine.

Yeah.

What's wrong with them in here?

I thought they were fine.

There's like fucking two frames per second.

It's fine.

I thought they were fine.

Yeah.

It's fine.

The audio is what gave it an important part, right?

Because this is a podcast.

I also assumed that it was like from the 90s or the early 2000s.

Honestly, I love it for that nostalgia effect.

A lot of these, you know, and that's a real sign of the economy, too, is they don't really make fuck ass.

like this anymore.

When was the last time you saw a new commercial for a new fuck -ass gadget?

I don't know.

People are really obsessed with the Ninja Creamy.

You tried to convince me to get one of those, too.

Is that a fuck -ass gadget, though?

Because that's just like...

It's an expensive fuck -ass gadget.

Yeah, we don't have Dollar Store.

We don't have $19 .99.

Yes!

I want some $19 .99 fuck -ass gadgets.

Yeah.

The Creamy is like an investment.

Yeah.

That's for people who are serious.

Like, that...

The creamy paired with the ice cream cone thing?

Yeah.

I really did think if there's like a base at the bottom of the cone, you could probably put a hot dog in there.

I wonder if you're just meant to put smaller scoops in there.

Yeah, I'm going to be honest.

The amount it holds, all of that ice cream cone thing, where's the basin?

I think you're supposed to put less ice cream so it doesn't touch the sides of it is the thing.

So that it drips inside.

I can't imagine actually using that.

I'm kind of impressed that...

It spins that fast.

25 to 30 RPMs is not that fast.

That feels kind of fast to me.

Honestly, I guess like, you know, something that close to your mouth spinning that fast.

You could like really, if you just left your tongue out of your mouth like that and just like continue to press the button, you could eat that whole ice cream.

I'm curious what some of our vibrators run at, you know, like what the RPMs on those are.

I'd be really curious.

Get out.

Sometimes I do a really good job of not laughing at my own videos.

Get out.

I hate you.

Honestly, punk.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Cheers.

That was really good.

It didn't turn into a way to make hot dogs.

Yeah, but it kind of did.

But it just makes sense.

Which is so on brand.

I knew that that fucking hot dog toaster was going to be in there.

I could fucking feel it in my bones.

How?

Because.

It's just like your thing.

This is why I called Aaron a hot dog boy for the longest time.

I've been craving this.

Because you had one of those growing up.

Also, while we're on the topic of hot dogs, you know, fuck you bread companies and hot dog companies.

Whose fault is it?

Who's at fucking fault here?

Because I want a goddamn answer.

Why are we giving a seven fucking hot dogs to eight buns?

What am I supposed to do with the eight fucking buns shoved up my ass?

Is it seven hot dogs?

Seven hot dogs to eight buns.

Are you sure?

I thought it was 12 hot dogs and eight buns.

Where the fuck are you buying a pack of 12 hot dogs?

I want it.

12, 24, 8, 16.

So I had to buy three packs of buns to two hot dogs.

Let me Google it.

You can find packs of hot dogs with six or eight buns.

You can find hot dogs with 10 buns.

This one is a 40 count.

This one.

Yeah, I'm not.

I love hot dogs.

Let's look at Hebrew nationals.

How many are in here?

Show me.

I'm pretty sure it's seven unless I'm wrong.

Fully cooked.

There are probably six now at the same price thanks to inflation.

It doesn't say.

It's 10 ounces of hot dog.

Oh, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6.

It's 6.

No.

That's what this says.

It's 6.

I'm going to count the one we have at home because I'm pretty sure it's 7.

Either way, though, why are we not just cooperating?

Why are we not collaborating?

Why are we not, you know, working across the aisle to just 8 and 8?

6 and 6.

I'd be fine with 6 and 6.

Yeah.

You can keep the same price.

Don't keep the same price.

You'll probably do it anyway.

No.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Don't keep the same price.

Charge less.

I don't think there's anything I've gotten more of and paid the same for.

Like even our flossers.

Yeah.

We went from a bag of 150 to a bag of 90 at the same price.

Yeah.

Like that's like fuck you guys.

That's pretty egregious.

Now I'm mad.

After I just had fun.

I'm so sorry.

Did you enjoy it?

I did.

Actually, I didn't think I was.

I was a little nervous.

You're always nervous about anything I bring.

That's not true.

That is true.

I was nervous it was going to be like stuff I already knew.

Oh, do you feel like you learned something?

I thought I was going to sit through an hour presentation about a rice cooker.

I could do that too.

And what would be wrong with that?

Nothing.

Exactly.

Thank you.

When it's your turn to present.

I was pleased that it was all things I had never heard of except for the hot dog toaster.

I knew that that was going to be in there.

You had never heard of the avocado slicer?

Well, I had heard of it, but not like you're at home being like, we should get an avocado slicer.

No, that's fair.

But now I'm thinking about it.

Honestly, if it means that I don't have to watch you smack avocado pits with a giant chef's knife, then maybe.

This is a presentation on safety.

This is a safety and accessibility presentation.

Yes, it was.

Yeah.

Do you like any of those products in particular?

Honestly, the pickle pickler.

The pickle pickler, I feel like is good.

I'm pretty sure I used to have one of those at home.

My dad had something like that.

Yeah.

But it was like for the garage.

Yes.

It was like when you would drop like a screw or whatever because he worked on our cars and stuff.

So if you ever dropped it.

A really long one.

Yeah, but we would use it all the time.

We stole it out of the garage and we would use it to grab stuff.

It's fun.

Like pinch each other with it.

My mom would get really mad.

She's like, that's not a toy.

It kind of is.

Yeah, then she would take it from us.

You can show her this presentation and show her this is a toy.

It's a pickle pickler.

Pickle, pickle.

I want a grabber.

I just like grabbers.

Did you notice I spelled the corn kernel -er?

Oh, oh boy, did I.

Which is funny because English is such a funny language.

Yeah.

Because that word, kernel -er, that's not.

That was terrible.

Corn.

English is the dumbest fucking language.

Corn kernel -er, but it was technically kernel.

It's kernel -er.

To be fair, it's spelled normally K -E -R -N -E -L -E -R.

I think.

I just wanted it for our friends who English may be not their first language.

That's fair.

No, you're right.

But yeah, and then.

I thought that, I was like, what does this, what would this corn kernel, or if I was a Foley artist, what would this corn kernel or sound like while I was corneling kern?

And I feel like it would be corn.

I hate you.

I gotta say, that was an impressive bit to get through that sentence, because that took every...

Synapse neuron in my brain.

This is what I was telling you last night.

Sometimes we do this thing before bed.

Your hag laugh was crazy.

I'll get zoomies and just start making weird noises.

Will you do it on the pod?

No.

I won't even look at you.

I'll do this.

No, it's embarrassing because it's stupid.

Also, all the people who are in the offices surrounding are going to be like, what the fuck?

They probably already think that.

Yeah, especially when I was yelling about the hot dog thing.

But I will, especially when I'm taking out my contacts, if you make me laugh about something, I'll like...

And then sometimes I just like keep laughing until it starts to get deranged.

Seriously?

Antidepressant technique?

Just...

Find something stupid and laugh.

Even if you're like fake laughing.

Force yourself to fake laugh so hard.

Because at a certain point you start to laugh about how stupid you sound fake laughing.

But then you have to like try to keep your composure.

And so I did that for like a solid minute and a half.

And it was truly a feat of strength and fortitude.

I was really impressed with myself.

I am really glad.

Thank you for sitting and watching.

Thank you everyone.

That was great.

Thank you for sharing that with us.

I loved it.

Yeah, I think these are fun.

I spent way longer on this than I really should have.

I thought aesthetically it was pretty good.

I liked it.

I'm not going to lie.

My screen with the...

It's fine.

It doesn't matter.

The screen with what?

The background with the avocado toast.

Yeah, that was good.

And the vegetables.

Oh, good.

The goggles.

You're not going to buy onion goggles, surely.

I do have a really hard time cutting goggles.

Cutting goggles.

Cutting...

Cutting goggles.

I do.

I'm cutting onions.

You do.

But I think maybe goggles are a bit too far.

I mean, they have them in different colors.

They're pretty fresh.

Maybe I'll just cut the onion.

No, but see, that's putting labor on you that I should be.

See, this is that's misogyny and feminism working against each other.

I see your point now.

Yeah.

Look like.

Damn.

Damn.

OK.

When Aaron doesn't make a lot of good points, but when I make a point, I'm going to fucking make it.

Okay.

Don't talk about yourself in the third person.

When were we watching that someone did that?

Or like, did they just, oh, it was fucking mama's boy.

Oh, yeah, it was.

Anyways, with that yawn.

Oh, this is, there's a lot to unpack here.

Oh, yeah.

We've very slowly gotten back to our name.

I feel like we've always been our name, but I feel like lately with these...

There's a lot to unpack.

We have to unpack some stuff for you guys.

I hope you guys watch this and enjoy it.

Share it with your friends.

If you know someone in your life who really loves hot dogs, I don't got nothing, but love that.

Don't judge them.

Show them this man.

Look at me, and look at me.

When was the last time I had a hot dog that I'm really craving?

Great.

You've had corn dogs?

I love corn dogs.

We had vegan corn dogs a while ago.

Do I like hot dogs more or corn dogs?

Those vegan ones were so good.

Actually so good.

Morningstar vegan corn dogs are so good.

Yeah.

I'm obsessed with them.

I can't believe how hard it used to be for you to get vegans.

It doesn't matter.

It's so, I know.

I really like grew up in the wrong time because when I was a vegetarian and I wanted to be a vegan, there was just like no options.

Like none whatsoever.

You were also poor.

That, too.

Does not help.

No.

But, I mean, nowadays, like, you can buy vegetarian, vegan, everything.

It's funny because they're about the same prices they used to be, I feel like.

You get less.

But I feel like because everything else, inflation kind of fixes and hurts itself in a way, you know?

Yeah.

So that's so cool.

Cool.

Honestly, Punk, thank you very much for taking us on this journey.

You're so welcome.

I appreciated this very much.

And there were some things in here that you actually changed my mind.

Not the egg rollie.

Not that.

The egg rollie is a sin.

That's disgusting.

That deserves to be rocketed.

Please make that go away.

That flaccid egg is disgusting.

That flaccid egg was...

Please stop.

As soon as I saw that.

Because I'm conjuring it in my mind now.

And it's all greasy around the rim.

I want to see.

I just want to see it pop out of it.

Also, like, the process of cleaning that thing.

Like, you have to, like...

Stop.

What?

With the hand motions.

No, it's okay.

Fine.

Fine.

But all I'm saying is that machine...

is who in what basement.

Also, they're like, you just have to wipe off the rim.

No, you don't.

All the gunk in the...

There's raw egg in there.

Every egg isn't coming out of there perfectly.

No.

I can just imagine one getting stuck.

Yeah, and ripping.

I want to see that egg fall over, though.

Also, you just have to sit there and watch it and wait for the perfect moment to...

I guess.

That's disgusting.

If I ever saw anyone eating an egg, it's the same food.

Like an egg kebab.

It's the same food, but putting it in that form makes it not acceptable.

Yeah.

Not okay.

Yeah.

Imagine if somebody was eating yogurt and granola or something by condensing it into a popsicle shape.

Actually, that's not even that weird.

That's not even that weird.

I'm trying to think what would be so...

Because an egg...

Eggs are just such a precarious food.

Yeah, that's not right.

I'm trying to think what else you could...

Ah, neurotypical friends.

Does the eggs that come out of that thing, does that look, would you eat that?

That's what I want to know.

That's what I want the takeaway to be.

Who would eat an egg out of the egg master?

Does anybody eat that?

Does anyone look at that and think that's not so bad?

If you put it in a bread or a bun or something where you can't see it.

Sure.

Like less bad.

Yeah.

But like.

You know what?

I think the thing is, though, it's the orientation of it.

It's the verticalness of it.

So if it came out.

No, because you know how like when people make those omelets, have you seen those where it's like a super thin layer and they just like keep rolling it?

But because they're horizontal and it's meant to be sliced and eaten with a fork, it's not offensive.

But because this comes out vertically and you put a shish kebab stick in it and then you.

Talk about a good morning.

That's not right.

There's no point in saying good morning because it certainly is not one with that thing around.

I feel like that's not right.

Like would wake you up in the middle of the night coming out of the thing.

Can you imagine sitting next to somebody in the cubicle over?

So all of a sudden there's just this smell of fucking unseasoned hot egg.

No, I would literally go in there and smack that shit off their desk.

And I'd be like, how much was it?

Here you go.

I don't ever want to see that shit again.

Smack that floppy egg on the ground.

Dude, I want to take it to someone and smack them in the face with it.

That would be it would break but also I'm curious how waxy it is like the grease I'm fixing that gift with all the hot dogs get thrown at the face I'm learning more and more.

This is just a phallic episode phallic shape of Greece would be insults enough like I'd be so ashamed I'd like do I go home or do I work harder like what?

Disgusting.

Okay.

I'm ready to wrap it up.

We're going to go.

Um, I'm Mickey.

If you guys like the pod, you can like it and subscribe, leave us reviews and stuff.

Cause that's good for it.

Um, remember when I said, when I was like, all they talk about is potatoes and hot dogs.

And here we are.

We talk about hot dogs, potato and soup.

It's the hot dogs, potato and soup podcast.

Whatever the world's on fire.

We need an escape.

We love you so much.

And we'll see you next week.

Bye.