God starts off this week’s episode with a recipe for the world’s most disgusting sports drink, followed immediately by a terrible eulogy for poor Miriam, who was just never able to shake that bad case of racism-induced leprosy. Then the Hebrew Complaint Brigade whines about the lack of water, leading a frustrated Moses to ignore God’s instructions about how he wants his rock to be treated. This is a bad enough offense that both Moses and Aaron are blacklisted from entering the promised land, and then Aaron freezes to death on top of a very suggestively named mountain. The drama continues with Israelites first being barred from entering the Cheese Kingdom and then utterly kicking the asses of three different nations. Plus the latest in home remedies: Bites from fiery serpents can be cured by looking at a snake statue! (Numbers 19:1–22:1)

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