Get the app

Log in
Wellness + Wisdom Podcast

·E801

Why the Man in Your Life is Afraid to Open Up to You (Connor Beaton)

February 17
1h 21m

Episode Description

Are men taught to be strong at the cost of being whole, and is that inner fracture driving disconnection, addiction, and despair?

Josh Trent welcomes Connor Beaton to the Wellness + Wisdom Podcast, episode 801, to break down the myth of modern masculinity, why suppression masquerades as strength, how porn, stress, and emotional avoidance become coping mechanisms, why men need initiation and mentorship to move from numbness to mastery, how shadow work and confrontation build real confidence, and why emotional leadership is the foundation of healthy relationships and fatherhood.

🚨 Experience Red Light Therapy at Home

Unlike the traditional methods, near-infrared light works with your body's biology to create radiant heat from the inside out. By using near-infrared's shorter wavelengths in a way that mimics natural sunlight, the light penetrates deeply to raise your core temperature faster. Save 10% on your SaunaSpace red light sauna with code JOSH10 

⚡️ Instant Energy without Caffeine

Be alert, not overstimulated. Paraxanthine powers a wakefulness you'll actually enjoy. Upgrade your attention span with ingredients that enhance concentration and get a dopamine boost with paraxanthine and powerful nootropics. Save 25% off UPDATE with code JOSH25

In This Episode, Connor Beaton Uncovers:

[01:15] The Myth of Masculinity

  • Why men develop strength through suppression.
  • How men cut themselves off from emotional information and who they truly are.
  • Why it's so common for men to lack emotional mastery.
  • How men are finally being forced to face their emotions.
  • Why numbness is not the same as emptiness.

Resources:

[07:00] How Men Cope with Emotions

  • What coping mechanisms men use to deal with their emotions.
  • How many men live in a constant state of stress.
  • Why porn can serve as a relaxation tool.
  • How men often assume that their emotions are too much too handle.

Resources:

[12:00] Men's Initiation

  • What led Connor to hit rock bottom
  • How being held by a mentor saved his life.
  • Why healing and growth start with confession.
  • How Connor spent 2 years helping his mentor and learning wisdom from him.
  • Why men need to talk about their pain.
  • The importance of an initiation experience for men.

Resources:

[20:50] The Purpose of Rite of Passage

  • Why we lack apprenticeship with an elder.
  • How elders show us how immature we are.
  • Why initiation can come through mentorship.
  • The purpose of initiation.
  • How young men don't understand how to contribute to their community or society.
  • Why most suicide notes from men contain the word "useless."

Resources:

[27:35] Women Are Men's Mirror

  • How women mirror men's shadows.
  • Why women are often the catalyst for men to start their healing journey.
  • Why there is so much anger between the genders.
  • How social media can fuel our negative beliefs.
  • Why men develop a sense of identity from hierarchy and competence.
  • How women gain a sense of identity from networking.

[35:00] Vulnerability Is Not Enough

  • The threats men face when they open up and become vulnerable.
  • Why men need to work on their emotional mastery.
  • How women want men who have emotional mastery.

Resources:

[39:55] Don't Become Your Emotions

  • How vulnerability can be transactional and why it's toxic.
  • Why men need to understand what's happening inside of them.
  • How men are used to immediately reacting to their emotions.
  • Why most men experience life in a very intense way.

[51:05] Do All Wounds Come from The Mother?

  • Why all wounds originate from the mother.
  • How motherhood is a challenging job.
  • What Connor has learned through his son.
  • How he helps his son co-regulate his nervous system.
  • Why he felt jealous of his son.

Resources:

[59:35] Where The Work Begins

  • How we can stop judging our emotions.
  • Why men are terrified of sitting with their emotions.
  • The importance of slowing down and observing what's happening inside of us.

[01:04:10] Bring Light to Your Shadow

  • How our shadow manifests in our lives.
  • Why we avoid looking at our shadows.
  • How nice guys need to connect with their anger.
  • Why the ego only wants to focus on problems.
  • How bringing truth forward creates trust with our partner.

[01:10:30] Change Requires Confrontation

  • Why men need to do the hard things they don't want to do.
  • How avoiding the hard stuff weakens men.
  • Why men don't feel confident enough to confront their shadows and emotions.
  • How women benefit from men knowing themselves better.
  • Why we should choose a partner with whom we can navigate conflicts.

"Men wake up stressed, they go to work stressed, they interact with their kids stressed, they interact with their partner stressed. And there's no relief from this sympathetic orientation. It's like the rev limiter on your car that's always right about to redline. And that's how a lot of men in our society work." — Connor Beaton

Leave Wellness + Wisdom a Review on Apple Podcasts

All Resources From This Episode Josh's Trusted Products | Up To 40% Off Biohacking⁠ Wellness Test Kits Nutrition + Gut Health Supplements Sleep Natural Energy Fitness + Physical Health Healthy Home Mental Health + Stress Release Personal Care⁠ Mindfulness + Meditation Clothing   Free Resources
See all episodes

Never lose your place, on any device

Create a free account to sync, back up, and get personal recommendations.

Create account