Birth father Jason Coombs carries a story most birth fathers never get to tell. At twenty-six, after four felony charges and a substance use disorder he could not shake, he learned he was going to be a father. His first reaction was to disappear. What happened over the next eighteen years became one of the closest open adoption relationships in the country. In this episode of Voices of Adoption with host Donna Pope, Jason shares what birth fathers carry that the adoption world rarely names, and the choices that turned his son's birth into the catalyst for seventeen years of sobriety.

A Pregnancy Test on the Doorknob

The news came in a text message from a friend, not from Nathan's birth mom herself. The pregnancy test was hanging on Jason's apartment doorknob when he got home. Jason walks through the manila envelope of felony charges that arrived months later, the years of street drugs, and the denial that kept him from accepting responsibility for the child he knew was his.

The Hospital Letter That Changed Everything

Standing at the nursery glass watching his newborn son fight to breathe on oxygen, Jason saw his own life clearly for the first time. He went downstairs, grabbed a legal pad, and wrote Nathan a letter promising to become the kind of father his son could be proud of. That promise unlocked the deepest internal motivation he had ever felt and started the journey toward sobriety.

What Makes Open Adoption Actually Work

Jason credits Nathan's birth mom and the adoptive Martin family for the choices that built what they have today. Polaroids in the mail. Soccer game invitations. Boundaries that kept everyone safe. He explains why strong fences and open hearts work together, why birth father involvement is possible when conditions allow it, and why his story is heart breakingly rare among the birth fathers in his son's adoptive family.

Birth Fathers Deserve a Voice in Adoption

Seventeen years sober, Jason now leads Brick House Recovery and uses his voice to advocate for birth fathers who have been silenced, shamed, or written off. He teaches the three elements of hope he discovered through Nathan's birth, visualizing the goal, seeing the path, and believing you have what it takes. His message to the adoption community is direct. Birth fathers love their children. Birth fathers carry pain too. Birth fathers deserve to be heard.

Listen to Jason Coombs' full conversation with Donna Pope on Voices of Adoption and discover what becomes possible when a birth father chooses to show up.

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