Shame & Getting Scammed: How Scammers Hijack Your Nervous System with Michele Ilich-Daubas. Part 2

February 1
52 mins

Episode Description

Welcome back to the second half of this crucial conversation.

If you haven’t listened to Part 1 yet, I highly recommend hitting pause and going back to listen to that episode first [LINK TO PART 1 HERE].


In that first episode, we laid the foundation—defining what "pig butchering" actually is and exploring the global machinery behind these scams. You really need that context for this episode to hit home.

In Part 2, Michele Ilich-Daubas and I move from awareness into application. We are breaking down exactly how people get deceived in real time, what happens in the aftermath, and—most importantly for this podcast—how shame keeps victims silent.

We discuss the specific mechanics of deception, like phishing and "smishing," and how scammers rely on our brains’ natural tendency to "fill in the blanks" when we are stressed or fearful. Michele shares some truly eye-opening examples, including how law enforcement impersonation scams are specifically targeting licensed professionals like therapists and doctors. It was a humbling reminder that intelligence and education do not make us immune to fear-based tunnel vision.

But we don’t just stay in the problem. We talk about the solution. We explore how to shift our language from "I fell for it" to "I was deceived," why we need to stop judging our aging parents and start empowering them, and how community connection is ultimately our strongest defense.


Key Takeaways

This episode is about compassion. It’s about slowing down. And it’s about remembering that under the right circumstances, anyone can be deceived.

  • Deception works by hijacking fear, not logic Urgency, authority, secrecy, and intimidation shut down our critical thinking and kick our "lizard brain" into overdrive.

  • Phishing and smishing rely on “filling in the blanks” Scams feel believable when they intersect with our real-life stressors, shame stories, or existing fears (like missing a toll, a tax payment, or fearing arrest).

  • Professionals are actively targeted Michele reveals how therapists, doctors, and nurses are frequent targets of sophisticated law enforcement impersonation scams.

  • Scams don’t just steal money — they steal self-trust The emotional aftermath often includes grief, isolation, and a devastating loss of independence that is harder to recover from than the financial loss.

  • Language matters We discuss why shifting from "I fell for it" (which implies stupidity) to "I was deceived" (which acknowledges the crime) is critical for reducing shame.

  • Silence protects scammers Talking openly about scams helps others recognize red flags before harm occurs.

  • Prevention starts with slowing down Hanging up, verifying independently, and simply pausing when fear spikes can interrupt the cycle of deception.

  • Grace is essential Being deceived is not a moral failure — it’s a human response to sophisticated manipulation.

    About Michele Ilich-Daubas

Michele Ilich-Daubas is a fraud fighter, public speaker, and educator dedicated to exposing and preventing sophisticated online scams, including the devastating crime known as pig butchering. A former Meta employee turned advocate, Michele now leads public awareness efforts through her organizations Deception Code and Operation Shamrock, empowering individuals—especially older adults—to recognize, report, and recover from financial and emotional exploitation. Her work blends education, empathy, and advocacy to dismantle the shame that keeps victims silent and to shine a light on how scammers manipulate trust and connection to deceive even the most vigilant among us.

Connect with Michele


  • Part 1 of this Interview: [LINK TO PART 1 HERE]

  • Operation Shamrock: operationshamrock.org – A resource for survivor stories and scam prevention.

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