Start Your 14-Day Free Trial to the All-Access Pass and Keep the Master the Dating Stage of Relationships Course for Life as a Free Bonus. https://offer.personaldevelopmentschool.com/valentines-day?utm_source=podcast&utm_campaign=valentines-day&utm_medium=organic&utm_content=pod-02-14-26&el=podcast

Do You Actually Want Love… Or Do You Just Want to Be Chosen?

The feeling of not being chosen by someone you deeply care about can feel devastating. But what if the real wound isn’t about love at all?

In this powerful episode, Thais Gibson breaks down the deeper subconscious pattern behind the need to be chosen and how it may be rooted in unresolved childhood experiences. You’ll learn why this pattern keeps repeating, what healthy love is actually supposed to feel like, and how to finally shift out of chasing and into secure connection.

Episode Summary
The desire to be chosen often masks something much deeper: a subconscious belief that being selected equals worthiness. When this pattern forms in childhood through not feeling fully seen, safe, or special, it can show up later as chasing emotionally unavailable partners or investing in people who don’t fully choose you.

In this video, you’ll uncover the five pillars of healing this wound, including understanding your subconscious comfort zone, recognizing how you may be recreating unresolved childhood experiences, and learning how to truly choose yourself first.

Because the truth is: healthy love is not supposed to feel like auditioning.

Key Takeaways
• Why not being chosen feels so painful and grief-oriented
• How wanting to be chosen can stem from childhood experiences
• The difference between conscious desire and subconscious programming
• Why we subconsciously choose familiar (even painful) dynamics
• What secure love is actually supposed to feel like
• How choosing yourself rewires your subconscious comfort zone
• Practical steps to begin healing and building self-alignment

Timestamps
00:00 – The Feeling of Not Being Chosen
01:27 – 1. Think of a Time When You Wanted to Be Chosen
03:36 – 2. The Desire to Be Chosen Is a Recreation of an Unresolved Childhood Event
05:16 – 14-Day Trial Promo
06:06 – 3. We Choose What to Invest in From Our Subconscious Mind
09:12 – 4. Love Is Not Supposed to Feel Like That
11:24 – We Heal This When We Learn to Choose Ourselves
12:32 – 5. In Order to Change, You Have to Start With Your Subconscious Comfort Zone
14:51 – Steps to Heal

Meet the Host
Thais Gibson is the founder of The Personal Development School and a world leader in attachment theory. With a Ph.D. and over a dozen certifications, she’s helped more than 70,000 people reprogram their subconscious and build thriving relationships.

Helpful Resources:
🧠 Take the Free Attachment Style Quiz
https://attachment.personaldevelopmentschool.com/?utm_source=podcast&utm_campaign=attachment-quiz&utm_medium=organic&el=podcast

📚 Read the Learning Love Book
https://attachment.personaldevelopmentschool.com/learning-love?utm_source=podcast&utm_campaign=learning-love&utm_medium=organic&el=podcast

🎧 Discover Podcast Episodes
https://attachment.personaldevelopmentschool.com/podcast?page=1

📝 Read the PDS Blog
https://blog.personaldevelopmentschool.com/

Let’s Connect on Socials:
📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thepersonaldevelopmentschool/
📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ThePersonalDevelopmentSchool
🎵 TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@thaisgibson
💼 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/thepersonaldevelopmentschool/