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Episode Description
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After a fight with a Dismissive Avoidant, it can feel like they shut down completely, emotionally unavailable, distant, and unaffected.
But what looks like indifference on the outside is often a complex internal process happening beneath the surface.
Understanding what’s really going on can change everything, especially if you want to stop chasing, over-explaining, or losing yourself in the process.
🎥 Episode Summary
In today’s video, Thais Gibson breaks down the 4 internal stages a Dismissive Avoidant attachment style typically experiences after a conflict or argument.
You’ll learn why dismissive avoidants shut down, distance, and deactivate, not because they don’t care, but because emotional intensity feels unsafe at a nervous system level.
This episode is essential if you:
Are in a relationship with a Dismissive Avoidant
Feel confused by shutdown, stonewalling, or emotional distance after conflict
Want to respond in a way that supports connection without self-betrayal
Or are a dismissive avoidant wanting to understand your own internal process
✨ Key Takeaways
✔ Why shutdown and stonewalling are self-protection strategies
✔ What Dismissive Avoidants are actually trying to escape after conflict
✔ The distancing stage and internal deactivation dialogue
✔ How space (when respected) leads to emotional recovery
✔ Why reconnection happens slowly and why pushing backfires
✔ The curiosity and learning stage, when growth becomes possible
✔ How codependent patterns keep conflict cycles stuck
⏱ TIMESTAMPS
00:00 – What Happens to Dismissive Avoidants After an Argument?
00:36 – Stage 1: Shutdown or Stonewalling
01:58 – Stage 2: Distancing
03:55 – Stage 3: Recovery and Connection
04:57 – Ending Codependency Course Promo
05:18 – Stage 4: Curiosity and Learning
Meet the Host
Thais Gibson is the founder of The Personal Development School and a world leader in attachment theory. With a Ph.D. and over a dozen certifications, she’s helped more than 70,000 people reprogram their subconscious and build thriving relationships.
Helpful Resources:
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