THE SJ CHILDS SHOW-Building a Community of Inclusion

Episode 355-What Big Behaviors Are Really Saying And How To Respond with Melissa Schulz

May 12

34 mins

Episode Description

A meltdown in the grocery store. A fight over screens that spirals into yelling. A kid who seems “fine” at school and falls apart at home. When you’re parenting a neurodiverse child, a strong-willed child, or a deeply sensitive child, it can feel like the usual advice was written for a different universe. We wanted something more honest and more useful, so we sat down with Melissa Schulz, a parenting coach and BCBA who brings both professional expertise and real-life parenting experience.

We get into a simple but powerful reframe: behavior is communication. If we only focus on stopping the behavior, we miss the message and often create new problems like shutdown, masking, or bigger explosions later. Melissa breaks down why kids with big feelings often need explicit emotional regulation skills, not just consequences or pep talks. We also talk about the parent side of the equation: if we’re triggered, we can’t access the best tools in the moment. Learning to regulate our own nervous system is not “extra,” it’s the foundation for co-regulation and connection.

We also go practical: how to meet your child inside their interests (yes, Roblox and Minecraft count), how to make “calm down” supports actually work, and why a beautiful calm-down corner can fail without practice during calm moments. You’ll hear language to reinforce unconditional love and worth, plus a root-cause approach that stops you from “weed whacking” the same behaviors over and over.

If you found this helpful, subscribe, share it with a parent who feels stuck, and leave a review so more families can find these tools. What’s the toughest behavior you’re trying to decode right now?

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