We dig into Sysdig's Jade Puffer report, the so-called first agentic ransomware, and argue about whether the evidence actually proves an LLM was driving the attack or if it's just a well-trained script wearing an agent costume. We walk through the four signals Sysdig points to, including self-narrating code, fast failure recovery, and a reused Bitcoin address, and push back on how strong that proof really is. We also talk about what this does to the threat model now that attackers don't need a human in the loop to adapt on the fly. And yes, the exploited CVE was sitting unpatched since 2025. 

🚀 Does adaptive malware change who you're defending against, or just how fast they move?

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