Episode Description
Julie M. Green's son was diagnosed autistic at three. She wasn't diagnosed until 44 — almost a decade of advocating fiercely for her child's needs while missing her own. In this episode, we talk about why that gap is so common, and what finally closed it for her.
For Julie, recognition didn't arrive in a single lightning-bolt moment. It came slowly, over years of small things adding up — until meeting another late-diagnosed autistic woman gave her a model she'd never had for what autism could actually look like. We talk about masking and why it's not a conscious choice, the survival strategy of becoming the "quiet girl" who stays small to avoid getting anything wrong, and the way that same people-pleasing can quietly open a person up to harm.
We also cover the things that often go unspoken: alexithymia, the difficulty of naming your own emotions even when you feel them intensely; face blindness and the social minefield it creates; and the particular weight of maternal guilt when you don't yet know why parenting feels so much harder for you than it seems to for everyone else. Julie shares how she's reframed burnout, why she now believes modelling rest matters more than martyring herself for her son, and what radical acceptance really looks like, including on the days it still feels out of reach.
If you'd like to know more about Julie M. Green's work, check out:
Her memoir, Motherness: A Memoir of Generational Autism, Parenthood, and Radical Acceptance
Her weekly Substack newsletter, The Autistic Mom
Her article in The Globe and Mail, "Receiving an Autism Diagnosis as an Adult Is Not 'Trendy'"
Theme music: "Everything Feels New" by Evgeny Bardyuzha.
All episodes written and produced by Kristen Hovet.
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The views, opinions, and experiences shared by guests on this podcast are their own and do not necessarily reflect those of the host or production team. The content is intended for informational purposes only and should not be taken as medical or professional advice. Please consult with a qualified healthcare provider before making any decisions related to your health, fitness, or wellness.