Balancing Acceptance and Expectation: Building Executive Functioning in Homeschooling and Parenting

January 8
32 mins

Episode Description

Download The Companion Guide For Acceptance & Expectancy In Homeschooling

Curious if OT could help your child's struggles?  Download Why Choose OT to find out! 

This week we're exploring one of the most profound tensions parents face: finding the balance between fully accepting our children as they are, and encouraging them to stretch, grow, and gain independence. Drawing on neuroscience, executive functioning research, and real-life stories, I'll unpack why kids need opportunities to try, make mistakes, and try again, and how this very process helps their brains develop resilience and problem-solving skills.

You'll learn about the "just right challenge," the science of how our brains learn from errors, and practical strategies for scaffolding your child's growth in daily homeschool life. From supporting hesitant writers, to helping kids take on chores and navigate perfectionism, I'll provide OT-friendly guidance you can apply today. Whether you're a seasoned homeschooler, a new parent, or somewhere in between, this episode offers both encouragement and actionable tools for nurturing independence, persistence, and confidence in your children.

In this episode you'll hear about:

  • Acceptance vs. Expectation in Parenting and Homeschooling
  • Definition of acceptance: seeing children truly as they are now (sensory needs, executive functioning, emotional capacities)
  • Definition of expectation: envisioning and believing in children's potential to stretch and grow
  • The importance of balancing both for genuine child development
  • Key Book Reference: Gretchen Rubin's "My Life in Five Senses"
  • How the book's message applies to understanding and loving children
  • Parenting Challenges: Finding the Balance
  • The need for balance for healthy growth and executive function development
  • Neuroscience of Mistakes & Learning
  • How trial and error fosters executive skills (sequencing, planning, problem solving)
  • Introduction to "error related negativity" (ERN) and "error positivity component" (PE)
  • Physiology of mistake-driven learning and lifelong neuroplasticity
  • How Mistakes Fuel Learning & Executive Functioning
  • Mistakes indicate active brain learning not failure
  • Importance of applying neuroscience and OT principles at home
  • Emotional regulation and executive skills needed to cope with imperfection
  • Step-by-step modeling: starting imperfectly, co-regulating, collaborative effort, and gradual independence
  • Accepting where both child and parent are in the learning process
  • Celebrating effort, process, and small steps forward
  • Reminding parents progress is not always linear—growth happens in tiny steps
  • Choosing one area to support (writing, chores, routines, etc.)
  • Questions for reflection: What does acceptance and expectation look like here?
  • Identifying the current stage of gradual release for a child
  • Allowing productive struggle and celebrating process over product

Links and Resources From Today's Show

Thank you to our title sponsor for this episode, CTC Math. Please enjoy a FREE TRIAL of CTC math from The Homeschool OT, and after your free trial enjoy half price homeschoolers discount here.

 

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