·S1 E107
Lauren Venables on Safety, Somatics, and Dropping the Guard to Create Deeper Intimacy
Episode Description
Lauren Venables on Safety, Somatics, and Dropping the Guard to Create Deeper Intimacy
Lauren Venables, a Sydney-based feminine embodiment and intimacy coach who supports high-achieving women in feeling safe enough to drop their guard and receive intimacy, pleasure, and devotion through somatic practices, nervous system work, trauma-informed coaching, grief, and relational healing. Lauren shares how she was shy, perfectionistic, and afraid to be seen as a teen despite being a dancer, and how bullying and a lack of safety in relationships shaped her early intimacy and self-expression.
She describes a major turning point after a nine-year relationship that lacked passion and polarity, followed by years of mindset work before discovering body-based nervous system practices.
She emphasizes creating safety in the body to support boundaries, communication, consent, and deeper intimacy, and outlines a practical approach for discussing desires with a partner: get clear on what you want, regulate through breath and somatic awareness, then speak from vulnerability without blame. The conversation explores redefining sex as intimacy and pleasure rather than penetration and performance. They address shame in the body, releasing emotion through somatic validation and feeling sensations, and the importance of self-pleasure for understanding desire and communicating preferences.
The host and Lauren discuss how BDSM/kink communities often model clearer communication and boundaries, and they examine how mainstream porn and sexualized media can distort expectations and harm self-worth. Lauren reinforces that it’s never too late to reconnect with libido, especially by restoring safety amid burnout, hormones, or menopause.
She also describes practitioner self-care, energetic boundaries, mentors, nature grounding, and her future aims to follow her “aliveness,” and continue living what she teaches through ongoing learning.
00:00 Meet Lauren Venables: Embodiment, Intimacy & Nervous System Safety
00:51 From Shy Teen to Confident Coach
03:15 Dancer in Her Head: Perfectionism, Bullying & Fear of Being Seen
04:43 Why High-Achieving Women Keep Their Guard Up in Love
07:06 Safety, Discernment & Finding Your Yes/No in the Body
08:24 When Success Masks Coercion: The Hidden Side of “Having It Together”
11:03 Lauren’s Turning Point
13:31 Learning to Ask for What You Need: Masculine Safety & Being Held
16:02 How to Talk About Desire Without Shame: Somatic Prep + Vulnerable Language
20:06 Redefining Sex as Intimacy: Beyond Penetration, Toward Connection
23:11 Feminism, Polarity & the Craving to Be Led (Without Losing Power)
26:13 Boundaries Without Walls: Discernment, Nervous System Clarity & Shame Release
30:38 Meeting Shame with Validation: Somatic Tools to Let It Dissolve
33:08 Why We Rush Self-Pleasure (and What We Miss)
34:12 Know Your Desire: Self-Exploration & Communicating Needs
35:46 What Kink Communities Get Right: Consent, Boundaries & Debriefs
37:58 Learning to Love Yourself Through Body Work
39:09 Porn, Media & Sexual Scripts: The Impact on Self-Worth
42:59 1:1 vs Group Work: Safety, Shame, and Going Deeper
44:48 “You’re Never Too Old”: Reclaiming Libido by Creating Safety
49:13 The Body Keeps the Score: Integrating Mind + Somatic Healing
51:04 Holding Space Without Burnout: Practitioner Self-Care & Boundaries
53:40 Grounding in Nature + Looking Ahead (Practice, Love, and Closing)