Episode Description
Hosted by Rosemary Davies-Janes. Produced by J'aime Rothbard.
In this gentle, heart-felt conversation, Leila guides us through the emotional landscape of infertility debunking common myths and misconceptions. She also shares her personal story, from 11 rounds of IVF to complete emotional collapse, which led her to agency, freedom, a new beginning and a baby.
Leila also addresses:
- How Infertility, as a trauma in its own right can unearth feelings of shame and worthlessness
- Why trauma-informed support can ease the emotional toll of infertility medical interventions cannot.
- The roles that self-compassion, truth and compassion play in our healing process
- Why acknowledging difficult truths and fostering self-compassion are vital for emotional well-being
Leila emphasizes that while the infertility journey is one of profound uncertainty and unraveling, if we surrender to the collapse, rather than allowing ourselves to be hijacked by the struggle, we can access freedom, agency and discover new paths forward. She shares how by learning to sit with our painful personal truths, cultivating self-compassion and community support, we can transform our experiences.
About Leila Bahri-Lucas
Counselor and Therapeutic Coach
Integrating Relational Life Therapy, Positive Psychology, Compassionate Inquiry and a Master's in Psychology and Neuroscience of Mental Health from King's College London, Leila's approach is trauma informed, emotionally precise, and grounded in real relational change, the kind that shows up in the way we live, love, argue, repair, and try again.
While infertility remains central to her work, her focus has grown into the wider landscape of family building and relational transitions. She supports individuals, couples, and groups navigating infertility or its aftermath, blended families, relationship breakdowns, identity shifts, grief, and the emotional patterns that shape connection.
Leila believes we each hold a reproductive story, whether or not we become parents. Her passion is helping people stay connected to themselves and each other during life chapters that often create silence, shame, or distance.
Her own path included 11 IVF cycles, conceiving her daughter through egg donation, and becoming a mother nine months after her father died. That personal history continues to shape how she understands lineage, rupture, protection, and the courage it takes to relate with honesty.
Based in Dubai, Leila works internationally with people who want to understand what drives disconnection and how real connection becomes possible again.
Promotional Message:
If you're not a therapist or healer, but you've heard our guests describe the personal transformations they experienced during their Compassionate Inquiry® journeys, and wonder what that would be like for you... Circles is a 10-week small group experience offered to anyone who wants to experience the power of Gabor Maté's approach to trauma healing. Use this link to find out if this program is for you.
Resources
Websites:
Leila's CI Circle (Starts 1/14/26)
No matter what we're going through, infertility, relationship strain, blended-family transitions, loss, or simply feeling disconnected, these experiences shape how we relate to ourselves and others. They can create isolation, silence or distance, even in relationships that matter deeply. Leila's upcoming CI Circle on Relating is a supportive space for all who want to explore these relational layers in a supportive community with honesty and care.
Studies:
Fewer than half of IVF cycles are successful. These scientists are trying to change that
Articles:
What your doctor isn't telling you about IVF — but should
Common Infertility Myths & Misperceptions.
Navigating the Emotional Landscape of Infertility
What surrender really means in spirituality and how it can bring peace in modern life
Books:
Conceivability
Intimate Conversations with the Divine
Podcasts:
15 Best Fertility Podcasts (2025)
Quotes:
"Infertility is uncertainty on a repeat. Infertility is uncertainty and so is life actually. It's the illusion of control that we have to let go of." - Leila Bahri-Lucas
"The path is uncharted. It comes into existence moment by moment and at the same time drops away behind us. It's like riding on a train sitting backwards. We can't see where we're headed, only where we've been." - Pema Chödrön. (When Things Fall Apart)
"Truth without compassion isn't healing and compassion without truth isn't enough. So work on that self compassion muscle in whichever way you can." - Leila Bahri-Lucas
"Infertility is trauma in its own right, but it also unearths deeper wounds from early life. It leaves no stone unturned. For one in four to six couples, the inability to conceive cracks open layers of shame, isolation, rejection (for not being chosen) and grief that track back to childhood. Infertility has a particular set of stressors. It's a raw and complex journey for oneself and relationally." - Leila Bahri-Lucas
Social Media
@realwithleila