181. Self objectification after betrayal, and how to come back

February 19
39 mins

Episode Description

In this episode I talk with you about self objectification and how it quietly pulls you out of your own life. Many women learn to experience themselves from the outside in, constantly evaluating how their body looks instead of feeling what their body needs. This can come from sexual abuse, purity culture, early exposure to pornography, body shaming, or sexual betrayal in adult relationships. Over time your body stops feeling like home and starts feeling like a project to fix, present, or protect.

I walk you through the difference between healthy self awareness and self objectification, and why living under the imagined gaze of others creates anxiety, shame, perfectionism, and disconnection from your own internal cues like hunger, desire, and intuition. I also talk about how pornography culture and sexual betrayal intensify this pattern, turning your nervous system toward constant comparison, threat detection, and body monitoring.

The invitation here is not to convince yourself you are beautiful. The invitation is to become a person again, not a body first and a person second. I offer simple, practical steps to notice when you leave your body, gently return, and build an internal sense of safety that is not dependent on being attractive. This is about reclaiming your humanity, softening the bracing in your body, and learning to live from the inside out.

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