Episode Description
By Eduard Habsburg
When it comes to the joys of large families, there's more than just an ocean between Europe and the United States. This is what I discovered when I began to regularly travel between the two continents and give talks on the topic of the family.
A full disclaimer first: I believe family is the greatest thing, and by family, I mean a large family. My wife and I were blessed with six children, and that experience has been life-changing, the greatest thing that ever happened to me (besides my faith, of course). So, naturally, I enjoy speaking about having many children.
It will not surprise you to learn that being happily married and having a bunch of children is not the rule in old Europe. People are often shocked when I mention six kids. It is literally unheard of. It's considered unreasonable even among more traditionally-minded families.
In Italy, where I lived for ten years until recently, it took me three years of driving a car through the streets of Rome until I saw a pregnant woman crossing the road. And this was supposed to be the Catholic country, the land of bambini.
But then something very interesting happened a few years ago, when I crossed the pond to speak at an event in the United States. Before the talk, I was a guest at a dinner, where I was introduced to a lot of young Catholics. I spoke of being married and of my six children. Nobody was shocked. In fact, two young women who greeted me told me they had seven and eight kids respectively, and how great it was to have a large family.
They looked at me with something approaching pity, and you could almost hear them thinking: "Well, perhaps the Lord will give him some more children." And I have to admit that, now, I was the one who was slightly shocked.
The funny thing was, these were not super well-off families. They couldn't "easily afford" lots of children. No, I had the impression they were Catholics with a deep conviction that large families are what God loves and encourages in a marriage.
As these testimonies multiplied, I discovered a whole world that would be very hard to find in Western Europe. I encountered dozens of families (with lots of children) queuing up at talks about faith and especially about Blessed Emperor Karl, the last ruler of my Habsburg family. He, of course, had eight children and was a pillar of the faith. Remarkably, he seems to be very inspiring to a fair number of people in the United States.
It was this experience (and our own family history) that led me to write my second book, Building a Wholesome Family in a Broken World, which is a strong encouragement to having large families.
Yes, I am very much aware that large families are not the norm, even in the United States. But in America, it seems at least possible to speak about that subject. In large parts of Europe, that is quite unthinkable.
And sometimes I worry what will happen when my book will be translated into, say, German. What Americans can understand or at least respect may lead to outright hostility in the German-speaking world: a large family is not reasonable, it's not affordable, it kills my personal freedom, it ties women to the kitchen and turns back the wheel of progress (or it's bad for the environment).
In such a climate (no pun intended), even someone as enthusiastic as I am has to choose his words carefully when speaking about the family.
The worst part is that many Catholic pastors (and unfortunately also some bishops) play along with the secular game. They encourage couples not to have children too soon, to take their time, to "enjoy each other," to put off having children until you can afford them, etc.
While I can understand that such Catholic leaders fear being labelled "radical", they should consider their responsibilities. Because – and this is my main contention here – I believe that you won't fully embark on the adventure of having a large family without faith.
And if even your faith leaders discourage you, from where, then, should ...
When it comes to the joys of large families, there's more than just an ocean between Europe and the United States. This is what I discovered when I began to regularly travel between the two continents and give talks on the topic of the family.
A full disclaimer first: I believe family is the greatest thing, and by family, I mean a large family. My wife and I were blessed with six children, and that experience has been life-changing, the greatest thing that ever happened to me (besides my faith, of course). So, naturally, I enjoy speaking about having many children.
It will not surprise you to learn that being happily married and having a bunch of children is not the rule in old Europe. People are often shocked when I mention six kids. It is literally unheard of. It's considered unreasonable even among more traditionally-minded families.
In Italy, where I lived for ten years until recently, it took me three years of driving a car through the streets of Rome until I saw a pregnant woman crossing the road. And this was supposed to be the Catholic country, the land of bambini.
But then something very interesting happened a few years ago, when I crossed the pond to speak at an event in the United States. Before the talk, I was a guest at a dinner, where I was introduced to a lot of young Catholics. I spoke of being married and of my six children. Nobody was shocked. In fact, two young women who greeted me told me they had seven and eight kids respectively, and how great it was to have a large family.
They looked at me with something approaching pity, and you could almost hear them thinking: "Well, perhaps the Lord will give him some more children." And I have to admit that, now, I was the one who was slightly shocked.
The funny thing was, these were not super well-off families. They couldn't "easily afford" lots of children. No, I had the impression they were Catholics with a deep conviction that large families are what God loves and encourages in a marriage.
As these testimonies multiplied, I discovered a whole world that would be very hard to find in Western Europe. I encountered dozens of families (with lots of children) queuing up at talks about faith and especially about Blessed Emperor Karl, the last ruler of my Habsburg family. He, of course, had eight children and was a pillar of the faith. Remarkably, he seems to be very inspiring to a fair number of people in the United States.
It was this experience (and our own family history) that led me to write my second book, Building a Wholesome Family in a Broken World, which is a strong encouragement to having large families.
Yes, I am very much aware that large families are not the norm, even in the United States. But in America, it seems at least possible to speak about that subject. In large parts of Europe, that is quite unthinkable.
And sometimes I worry what will happen when my book will be translated into, say, German. What Americans can understand or at least respect may lead to outright hostility in the German-speaking world: a large family is not reasonable, it's not affordable, it kills my personal freedom, it ties women to the kitchen and turns back the wheel of progress (or it's bad for the environment).
In such a climate (no pun intended), even someone as enthusiastic as I am has to choose his words carefully when speaking about the family.
The worst part is that many Catholic pastors (and unfortunately also some bishops) play along with the secular game. They encourage couples not to have children too soon, to take their time, to "enjoy each other," to put off having children until you can afford them, etc.
While I can understand that such Catholic leaders fear being labelled "radical", they should consider their responsibilities. Because – and this is my main contention here – I believe that you won't fully embark on the adventure of having a large family without faith.
And if even your faith leaders discourage you, from where, then, should ...