How to Be Honest Without Losing the Relationship

May 19
43 mins

View Transcript

Episode Description

Have you ever told the truth and still felt like the message didn't land? Or held back because you weren't sure how to say it without it coming across wrong?

Candace and licensed therapist Jason VanRuler are back this week continuing the conversation about the PATHS communication types — and this time they're going deep on two of them: the Advocate and the Thinker.

The Advocate leads with what's fair, what's right, and what needs to be said. Proverbs 27:5 says, "Better is open rebuke than hidden love" — and that's the Advocate's whole posture. But Jason talks about what it looks like when the truth is delivered without the right packaging, and Candace opens up about her own Advocate score and a real conversation where she had to say out loud: the truth matters more to me than the fix right now.

The Thinker, meanwhile, goes quiet before they go anywhere. Proverbs 18:13 is the anchor verse: "To answer before listening — that is folly and shame." Someone with a Thinker communication style is processing and fact-checking themselves, making sure what they say is worth saying. Candace shares what that looks like on set and why the people around her have learned to just let her think.

There's also a listener question from Lucia about family members she can barely tolerate, a conversation about letting your kids watch you work through conflict, Jason's "boredom binder" of life skills, and an honest look at what it took for him and his wife to stop arguing in circles.

Go to candace.com to sign up for email updates, get more of Jason's communication tips, and buy access to Jason's Communicate to Connect video series.


Connect with Candace and Jason 

Sponsors For This Episode

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

See all episodes