It's the third week of Shitty Remake Month on The Blind Rage Podcast and we're dragging our nails across the chalkboard of horror history with CARRIE (2013), a remake so limp it feels like it was assembled from the rejected scraps of half a dozen teen dramas. Somehow the filmmakers took the volcanic fury of the 1976 original and turned it into a mopey after school special with telekinesis sprinkled on top like sad glitter. The performances drift between robotic and melodramatic, the script stumbles through every beat with the grace of a dropped cafeteria tray, and the so called modernization lands with all the impact of a damp sponge. Even the infamous finale, once a towering moment of terror, fizzles into a CGI laden shrug. The Blind Rage Podcast walks through the rubble of this disasterpiece, picking apart the hollow characterizations, the misguided attempts at edgy relevance, and the baffling creative choices that drain the story of every drop of menace. It is a remake that somehow manages to feel both overproduced and undercooked, leaving behind a perfectly shaped example of how not to revisit a classic.